Battle of Culloden Archives - Scones, history and a dollop of politics

First, a word of warning, especially for the faint-hearted. This post covers three different venues many miles apart but does not feature any scones. Yes, not a single scone was harmed in the making of this post. Not that we regard ourselves as ever doing any harm to scones, we simply help them fulfil their glorious destiny. Hence the title – Sconeless in the North. Let us explain how we managed to get through an entire day without our delicious little friends.

Highland Folk Museum

We are still with our coach party and staying in Newtonmore just north of Aviemore. While there we visited the Highland Folk Museum. It’s a fabulous place where they try and recreate what life was like in the Highlands a century or so ago. It’s been done by rescuing old buildings and transporting them to this site where they get a new lease of life.

Knockbain school at the Folk Museum, Newtonmore — Knockbain school originally a few miles west of Inverness

It’s spread over a very large area and after a while I wasn’t feeling my best and the weather wasn’t the best either so I excused myself and thought I would just wait for Pat and the others in the cafe. I wasn’t actually thinking about a scone because, obviously, I can’t review them without my beloved. It did, however, give rise to a rather traumatic scone experience. It’s a slightly long winded explanation but bear with me.

Write it down

There was a relatively short queue at the cafe but it was moving very slowly. The reason became obvious when it eventually came to my turn. Only a young lad and a lass were looking after everything. They, pretty obviously, were not happy, He was front of house and she seemed occupied with something at the back. I said “ a black americano and a scone, please“. it would have taken all of thirty seconds to pour me a cup of coffee and hand me one of the scones that were right in front of me, but no.

I was still there a couple of minutes later as the exact details of my request were written down longhand on a fresh pad of paper. “Did I want milk?” No, no need in a black americano … he wrote it down nevertheless, “did I want sugar … did I want butter? and so it went on.

Takeaway

Eventually it came time to pay. At this point he said “it’s takeaway only now, we’re closing“. Nothing of this had been mentioned to the previous customer so I asked when they closed. “3.45” was the answer. “but It’s only 3 o’clock“, I said, to which the answer was “we’re short staffed.” I was flabbergasted, the prospect of carrying my coffee and scone outside to the wind and rain didn’t appeal so I left empty handed. In hindsight, I could have explained that I was on an educational mission for people all over the world but I don’t think it would have made the slightest difference.

After a while outside enduring the worst of the effects of the fresh air I thought I would return to the cafe for shelter until Pat and the others returned. To my great surprise almost every table was taken. Okay, everyone had takeaway cups but what was going on? When I asked the young chap he said “They are supposed to go outside but nobody listens they just take their stuff and sit at a table“. With that, the girl from the back appeared and said “We’re doing our best but nobody listens to us” and promptly burst into tears. Goodness, I have really no idea what was going on here but it was pretty obvious that these kids needed a lot of help, training and better systems. Maybe even counselling? So that was non-scone number one.

Fort George

We soldiered on. Fort George was another impressive stop on our outing. It sits on a promontory jutting out into the Moray Firth and the scale of the place is phenomenal. The British government must have been feeling very insecure just after the Battle of Culloden in 1746. Goodness knows how many millions were spent building this place over a twenty year period. Continuing unrest in Scotland over the 1707 Act of Union and the ever present perceived threat from France were responsible. Ironically, by the time it was completed much of the threat had dissipated.

There were actually soldiers with submachine guns at the patrolling the place, so someone had clearly tipped them off that we were coming. If you look at the title picture you can see a white sentry box on the right under a red flag. A submachine gunned sentry still has to stand in that all day. The only thing he is liable to see is dolphins and we’re not aware that they are an actual threat.

Canons at Fort George — Some of the Falkirk made canons on the ramparts

Pat and I decided to walk the whole of the perimeter ramparts. It takes quite a while and then, if we had time, visit the cafe.

Eventually we also visited the chapel, chatted to some American tourists and ended up pushed for time at the cafe. No matter, it was sconeless anyway. Non-scone number two.

Lovely ladies

After Fort George it was back on the bus and only a very short hop to the village hall in Ardersier where lunch was waiting. Ardersier is where the villagers of Blacktown were resettled after their village had to be removed in order to build Fort George. Some lovely local ladies provided a great lunch but still no scones. Non-scone number three.

A special place in scone history

After that we were finished with the north and headed back south to Dunkeld where we were due to visit the local Museum. It was late in the day when we got there and unfortunately we had to walk from where the bus was parked to the Museum past Palmerstons Coffee Shop …argh! This was the venue of our very first scone post on this blog back in March 2015. We couldn’t just pass it by?

You will all remember distinctly that in that post all these years ago we explained that this place was winner in that year’s World Jam Championships. Apparently the lady who was running it then doesn’t take too much to do with the Coffee Shop any more … she’s next door … in the Jam Shop! So here was non-scone number four. We were too late, all the scones had gone. Time for home.

Bus trips are like some sort of alternative reality. You are cocooned with a particular group of people all pursuing the same sort of thing. You are isolated from the actual reality of a world gone completely mad. Hopefully it will all have sorted itself out by the time we get back.

We survived this traumatic day mainly due to this lot … the singing was dreadful 😁. Many thanks to Falkirk Local History Society for organising a very memorable trip.

ps: for telephone box aficionados, this was taken in Fort George.

K6 telephone boxes at Fort George — Two K6s on the left were made in the Saracen foundry in Glasgow. The post box and other K6 were made in Falkirk.

pps: I have written to Highland Council over my concerns for the kids in the cafe at the Folk Museum. Will let you know if I ever hear anything back from them.

Last time we were in the Perthshire town of Callander we were indulging ourselves at the Roman Camp Hotel. It is situated, would you believe it, on the site of a 1st century roman camp on the banks of the river Teith. It’s great, but definitely at the luxury end of the market. This time we were just here visiting an elderly relative. The town is oft’ referred to as ‘The Gateway To The Highlands‘ and certainly, when we were traveling north to Glen Coe every weekend in our youth, we never felt ‘away’ until we hit Callander.

In summer it is extremely busy so it is well endowed with cafés and restaurants to cater for throngs of tourists. We were attracted to Applejacks by the placard outside advertising our favourite coffee, the Cat’s Pyjamas from Henry’s Coffee Company. The café is a long narrow affair and we ended up going to the furthest point from the door where it seemed, for a moment, like we had gone too far. Nobody was speaking English. Indeed everyone was speaking very loudly in some indiscernible language. Not to worry our waitress was local and soon had us fixed up with a couple of scones. Pat chose plain and I went for apple and cinnamon. The café has a kind of trendy upbeat vibe and as well as great coffee they do a good range of savoury wraps and sandwiches.

Misdemeanours

Our scones were accompanied by pots of jam and clotted cream … all English, arrgghh! We have nothing against that, per se. However, tourists from England do not come all this way north to be served the same stuff they get at home. Since they say on their menu that they pride themselves on accessing local ingredients we pointed out this misdemeanour to the management. They took note! It had been a long time since an apple and cinnamon scone had graced my plate. This one served to reminded me of just how delicious they can be. Not made on the premises but, we were assured, made locally. Pat’s scone was good as well and provided a sweet counterpoint to the strong cup of Cat’s Pyjamas coffee. A winning combination … a topscone. Well done Applejacks!

Too and fro

In the 17th and 18th centuries Callander, like much of Scotland, was a hotbed of unrest. Almost all Scots vehemently opposed the Union in 1707 . To make matters even worse, deep rooted Jacobite sympathies abounded and Callander was no exception. The town’s location, however, made it an obvious choice for a military road. It would provide better access for the government’s armed forces in its aim to subdue the unruly Highlands.

Completed in 1743, ironically, the first army to use the new road was that of invaders. Bonnie Prince Charlie, moving south through Callander from Glenfinnan to Derby in the 1745 uprising. It must have been quite a sight as they passed by Ancaster Square where Applejacks is situated. A few months later of course, after the Battle of Falkirk in 1746, the flow was the other way as they headed back north where the disaster that was Culloden would eventually unfold.

Criticising the government

Over the following decade, with over 400 garrisons north of the border, Scotland would be comprehensively crushed. It became the colony it remains to this day. Also ironically, a few years later the town’s namesake, James Thomson Callendar published a book with the rather snappy title of “The Political Progress of Britain or an Impartial History of Abuses in the Government of the British Empire in Europe, Asia and America since the Revolution in 1688 to the present time, the whole tending to prove the ruinous consequences of the popular system of Taxation, War and Conquest.” For his criticisms of the then system of government, Callendar, accused of sedition, had been obliged to remove himself from Scotland and flee to America.

Foundations

Sounds like his book could well be pertinent even today. As our more fervent Brexiteers, the Goves and Rees Moggs, fantasise with their rose tinted glasses over the glory days of Empire it is perhaps worth remembering that the barbaric practices perfected in the ten years after Culloden formed the foundations of the Empire.

Customer distribution map of the world at Applejacks, Callander — a wall map showing the Applejacks empire of diverse customers

However this picturesque little town hides its more turbulent past rather well. And Applejacks is a great addition to its High Street.

FK17 8ED tel: 01877 330370 Applejacks FB

ps For some reason Pat laughed out loud at this notice in Applejacks.and some kind soul has knitted covers to keep the street bollards warm … magic, the world has not gone completely mad after all

Scones, history and a dollop of politics

Tag Archives: Battle of Culloden

Sconeless in the North