Tag Archives: Alex Salmond

Scones, Top

Victoria’s

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In our previous post from Fonab Castle we were bemoaning the fact that it was no longer family run. It’s difficult to put your finger on exactly what happens when an establishment goes from “family run” to a more corporate style … it’s just different, less personal. Today, however, we are still in beautiful Pitlochry but at Victoria’s restaurant. It proudly proclaims, loud and clear that it has been “family run” since 1996. Would we notice a difference?Sign for Victoria's Pitlochry

Established on the town’s Main Street and named after the family’s new born daughter you can work out how old she is now. In the low winter sun it’s not too impressive from the outside but in the summer its large al fresco dining area will be buzzing. Inside it has a warm homely feel with lots of Christmas decorations.Internal view of Victorias Pitlochry

According to Victoria’s website Luciano Pavarotti, once said “One of the very nice things about life is the way we must regularly stop whatever it is  we are doing and devote our attention to eating“. How true! We had just walked from Fonab Castle into town and now we felt the need to do exactly that. 

Christmas recipes

We were looked after by a young girl who was full of the joys. Turned out she was from South Africa. She and her husband had come to work here in Scotland for the next few years. A scone at Victorias PitlochryThey wanted some adventure before settling down to start a family. She informed us that her husband was responsible for making the scones. When they arrived they were accompanied by the usual little pots of jam and the biggest bowl of cream we have ever seen. Not clotted cream but pretty spectacular.  Everything was delicious. She asked us if we noticed anything different about the scones? We had but couldn’t quite identify what it was. Apparently her husband had added star anise to the recipe to make them taste more Christmasy. It worked, “Christmasy” was exactly how they tasted. Internal view of Victorias Pitlochry

Although busy attending to other customers our girl always came back to us for more chat. She even produced a map of Pitlochry and, with a felt tipped pen, marked places we should visit as well as the most picturesque route for us to take back to Fonab. This was service above and beyond which eventually persuaded us to award a topscone. Well done Victoria’s, “family run” is definitely better!

View over Loch Faskally
View across Loch Faskally
A flicker of light

At Fonab, we talked with a young Ukrainian girl who was working there. Eagle sculptureShe didn’t think her family were in immediate danger but the concern in her eyes was plain to see. With President Zelenskyy hinting at talks with Russia there appears to be a glimmer of hope for an end to the fighting. However, if Zelenskyy requires a cast iron guarantee that Putin can never return it is extremely difficult to see how that can be achieved.  But for the sake of our girl and her family, at least there may be a tiny flicker of light at the end of the tunnel. Fingers crossed!

Today there is also a memorial service in Edinburgh for Alex Salmond. Ten years ago he led Scotland to within a whisker of independence. Needless to say, none of the promises made to the people of Scotland at that time by the UK government have been delivered … not a single one! At least Salmond knew that independence had only been delayed.

Whisky messsges in Pitlochry
In a grocery store across from Victoria’s

PH16 5BX         tel: 01796 472 670           Victoria’s

///divides.disbelief.thanks

Scones

Hot cross buns

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Gosh, it’s Easter again and who would have thought it would be the second one in lockdown. Our traditional family holiday in Inverness has been cancelled so we are not in the best of moods about that. Easter is a jolly time however. A bit like Christmas but with magic rabbits and chocolate eggs so much more believable. And, of course, that seasonal favourite, hot cross buns! We thought that, to get into the Easter spirit, we should have a go at making them … it’s not easy, in fact, it’s a right palaver!

In our naivety we thought it would be like making a scone. Not a bit of it! It’s much more akin to making bread. You mix up your flour with sugar, spices, yeast and the zest of a lemon but then you have to leave it for a hour or so to proof. And hopefully double in size!Hot cross buns in the making Then you have to knead it again, add sultanas and peel then leave it for another hour. What? Do they think we have nothing better to do? Oh, alright, we don’t!

Hot cross buns, piping the crossAfter that you form the dough into smaller balls and leave them for half an hour to increase in size. Then you have to pipe a cross on top with a mixture of flour and water. By the time we were finished Pat was definitely hot and definitely cross which is no doubt how they got their name. No it wasn’t. Unbelievably they got their name from the fact that they should be served hot and they have a cross on top … and they’re buns!

Breathalyser food
Hot cross buns being glazed with syrup
glazing with hot syrup

Originally they were a pagan thing to celebrate the Goddess Ēostre and in 1592, Queen Elizabeth I decreed that they were so good they should only be eaten  on Good Friday or at burials. Must be great to have that sort of power. Just think what you could do with it? Greedy folks should be careful, however. They can have a high alcohol content (all that yeast and fruit) and throw you over the legal limit.

We would like to report, after going to all that trouble, that our hot cross buns were a major success. But no. Flavour was good but unfortunately they were a wee bit on the firm side. Not the nice soft consistency we have come to expect of this type of bun. Interesting exercise but I don’t think Pat will be repeating it any time soon!Hot cross buns

Elections

In Scotland we have the mouth watering prospect of six weeks of electioneering leading up to polling day on May 6th. Lots of empty words and empty promises to look forward to. Alex Salmond has popped up again (hell hath no fury like a former First Minister scorned) with his new Alba party. He is less popular now in Scotland than Boris Johnson, an incredible feat in itself so we can only imagine it has more to do with his own deluded conceit than anything else.

Happy Easter everyone, the weather is scorchio today so enjoy it while you can. Fingers crossed,  this will be the last lockdown Easter.

 

Scones, Uncategorized

Laverbread

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Following our previous post on Welsh Cakes you will all be pleased to hear that “Slightly Miffed of Portmahomack” is now “Delighted of Portmahomack.” Although “delighted” she felt that perhaps we should also cover Laverbread, a seaweed delicacy and the essence of a good Welsh breakfast. By now readers might be thinking that Portmahomack folk must all be slightly mad. The title photo is of some of them down by the harbour passing the time on a very wet afternoon. Reassured??

So, laverbread is made with seaweed, where on earth are we supposed to get that? Just pop down to the coast and pick some? No, no, no, laver is a special kind of seaweed and you can only get the good stuff on the coast of Wales … apparently! Oh, or  in a shop … an online shop, The Fish Society shop to be precise.  They will cater to all your seaweed needs! Don’t say that we don’t go that extra mile for our readers.

raw laver
as it comes from the Fish Society, out of the packet and mixed with oats
Dulse and all that?

Suffice to say we ordered some laver directly from Wales so that the ensuing laverbread would be as authentic as possible. The things we do to placate these Portmahomackians! You’d think they would be too busy watching whales and dolphins? The laver arrived in an alarmingly large box … we didn’t really want a whole load of seaweed so we were relieved when the large box contained only a very small sachet of frozen laver.  Frying laverbreadOnce, when I worked in Belfast someone (they shall remain nameless) gave me some dried dulse. It was revolting! I only had a little but I could still taste it three days later! And that pretty well sums up my seaweed eating career so far. Would this laverbread thing be a better experience?

There is no way that laver could ever look appetising … a kind of dark green sludge. In fact it makes you wonder who thought it was a good idea to eat it in the first place? Anyway, in the interests of expanding our reader’s laverbread knowledge we set about making some. Couldn’t be more simple really … mix it with some oats and lightly fry. Laverbread with fry-upWe had it with some crispy bacon and a fried egg. Interesting in that there was no strong taste, just slightly salty perhaps. Some people compare the taste to oysters, or olives.  We ate it all, however … it’s good for you apparently!

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Laver, laver everywhere!
Scallops with laver and pea puree
Scallops

To give it a fair crack of the whip, at night Pat made me scallops with a pea purree and laver sauce. This was fantastic! Hard to know what was actually going on but the laver seemed to give it a slight salty edge that went well with the rest of the dish. Huragh, a mini laver triumph!What else?Omelette with laverNext day we had an omelette with potatoes and laver. That was excellent as well though I suspect that the omelette would have been none the worse if there had been no laver in it. In Wales laver is sometimes referred to as Black Gold, or the Welshman’s Caviar. Apologies to all laverbread aficionados but we are not at all surprised it hasn’t caught on in Scotland.

Yesterday, the news that Nicola Sturgeon was cleared of any wrongdoing in the Alex Salmond affair has been greeted by the Tories with all the same good grace that Trump accepted his election defeat. Politics will always have divisions but there seems to be a lot more division elsewhere in the world today … skin colour, gender, ethnicity etc. The other day we got an note from singer songwriter, Carrington MacDuffie. It was a quote from Mohamad Safa. “Our world is not divided by race, colour, gender or religion. Our world is divided into wise people and fools. And fools divide themselves by race, colour, gender or religion”. Seemed kind of apt don’t you think? So how come it’s the fools that get to rule the world? Or is that being unduly unkind? All very well for us armchair critics … they are probably all doing their best, poor sods.

Me at Target Ness lighthouse
Me at Tarbat Ness lighthouse, Portmahomack looking towards Wales for more inspiration

 

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

Dobbies

It was way back in January that we got a tip-off about the scones at Dobbies Garden Centre just outside Stirling.

January, afternoon tea with two Dobbies scones

Our ever diligent Trossachs correspondents had bought some to take home only to find that they had been given some extra ones free. This was more than they could handle on their own, so they passed on a couple to us. We ate them as part of an afternoon tea we were having with some neighbours. At the time we thought they were rather good, if a little bit oversized. We had to split them up to make them more manageable for our guests. Since then, we have been promising ourselves that we would visit Dobbies and do a proper review. Seven months later, today is the day.

Internal view of the restaurant at Dobbies Garden Centre, Stirling
Just part of Dobbies’ restaurant

Automation

The garden centre is big and they have a restaurant to match. It is a little bit surprising to come in and find so many people out shopping and then to find a large restaurant which is equally busy. The servery area is also big. Rather than wait in a long queue we opted to go to the automated self service part. There is normally some sort of problem with these vending machines … and so it was. However the problem was not so much with the machine as with the operators.

Automatic coffee vending equipment at Dobbies Garden Centre, Stirling
Coffee machine about half way through delivering and it cannot be stopped

Basically, from the large array of cups, all of which looked identical to us, we selected what turned out to be a tea cup. Of course it was far too small for the quantity of coffee being delivered. A kind of Niagara situation ensued. We were a bit bemused by this until we noticed that there were similar but slightly larger ‘coffee’ cups … trauma over.

We had opted to share a cherry and coconut scone because they were all so large. Also we hadn’t actually tasted that particular combination before. Perhaps we should have stuck to what we know because we found this combo somewhat insipid. The tiny pieces of cherry were relatively few and far between and the coconut, although there, did not feature strongly enough. The scone itself was fine though, still too big for our taste. No topscone here but maybe the prize for the biggest.

Dressing like Ruth Davidson

The problem with Westminster and Holyrood being on holiday is that there is nothing much to report. Witness the BBC’s interminable coverage of athletics. But wait a minute, apparently the end of the world has just got a whole lot nigher. We should report that in case any sconeys get caught unaware. With the great big ‘Goliath’ madman in Washington threatening unimaginable fire and brimstone against the wee ‘David’ madman in Pyongyang who likes dressing up like Ruth Davidson, there may not be much time left. The big question. Will Scotland manage to become an ordinary self respecting  country before armageddon? The man in the know, Alex Salmond is predicting 4 years for independence but that may be too late.

Civilizing scones

HMRC has admitted that Scotland’s economy is actually £15b bigger than they had reported … oops. The latest figures showing that England ran a massive trade deficit in 2014 and 2015 whereas Scotland had an even greater surplus in those years. Perhaps we can just squeeze in a wee bit of self respect before we are all blown to smithereens. How to avoid complete annihilation? We think that Trump and Kim Jong should sit down together over afternoon tea. The civilising influence of a good scone cannot be overestimated and the size of the Dobbies’ scones should almost match their egos!

FK9 4UF     tel: 01786 458860     Dobbies Garden Centre

BREAKING NEWS: Our Tyrolean correspondents have lodged a report on what could possibly be the first ever scones to be baked in Austria. You heard it here first! They were in Scotland for a few days and became so obsessed with scones that when they returned home they baked some of their own ‘Austrian scones’. First scones to be baked in AustriaThey look good and by all accounts were good. No information on whether Austrians go jam or cream first. But together, dear readers, we are taking scones to the world. And the world will be a better place! Many thanks C and M.