Braco Coffee

Braco Coffee is in the pretty little of village of Braco (pronounced break-o) population about 500. You would be forgiven for thinking that nothing much has ever happened here but you would be wrong.

On the outskirts of the village lies Fort Ardoch, a long abandoned Roman fortification. There’s only grass covered mounds these days to denote where the walls once were. Diagram of Roman helmetOnce while walking by the river we could hear distant commands “sinister dexter, sinister dexter.” Eventually it got much louder and a platoon of marching Roman Legionnaires appeared. They were in full costume and carrying spears with a commanding officer at the front giving them their marching orders. We spoke to them and apparently this is what some men do instead of going to football on a Saturday afternoon. They just march around for a bit, then go home again. We don’t understand either but they seemed very happy.

Damned cows!

But never mind the Romans, more importantly, my mum lodged here during WWII when she worked in forestry. 

My mum lodged in one of these houses with a lovely lady called Jessie Allan

My dad was in forestry as well and Braco is where they did all their courting.  Apparently on one of their dates my dad left his BSA motorbike in a field. When they returned (from wherever they had been 🥴) the straw stuffed saddle of the bike had been eaten by a cow.  We tell you this to illustrate the fact that without this wee village this blog might never have materialised. Unthinkable, we know. Logo of Braco Coffee

Somewhere as salubrious as Braco Coffee wouldn’t have been available to dad back then hence mum’s invite to a field. Even if it had been, words like “cuppocinno”, “americano” or “flat white” would have been absolutely meaningless to them. We pass through Braco quite often and have had this place in our sights for a while. The clincher came when the Laird reported the cakes as excellent though he wasn’t sure about the scones. Obviously we had to check!Internal view of Braco Coffee

There was a steady stream of people coming and going  so we had to wait a wee while to place our order at the counter. A scone atBraco CoffeeNormally these cafes are staffed by young girls but here it seemed to be all young lads. Anyway, it didn’t take them long to have us sorted with our coffees and a fruit scone. There wasn’t any cream and the butter and jam was all prepacked but the scone itself was really good. We thoroughly enjoyed it. Not quite topscone but close.

Memories

Afterwards I took Pat a couple of hundred yards along the road to the Pack Horse Bridge. It’s tucked away behind the more modern road bridge over the river Knaik. Pat was surprised and swore she had never seen it before and wasn’t even aware that it existed.It was built around 1650 and must have been the main crossing point for the river for many years. It’s only about four feet wide with very low stone parapets so it must have been interesting taking horses over it.

The Pack Horse Bridge in Braco
Built around 1650 as Ardoch bridge but now known as the Pack Horse Bridge

When we got home I looked up my photo library because I was sure that I had photographed it in the past. Sure enough I had a picture from 2006 … with Pat and the rest of our family standing on it. Such is our memories these days!

Pack Horse Bridge at Braco
Before Health & Safety … now you are not allowed to walk over it
Travelling

As if that wasn’t enough Braco based anecdotes, here is one last one … promise. Given the problems in Gaza and Israel’s genocidal tendencies it made me think of a conversation about Braco when I was a mere sapling. My brother and I were working for my dad during school holidays when one of the elderly estate workers joined us while we were eating our packed lunches. He told us, when he was our age he was an estate worker in Braco with a 7am start to his working day. At that time he lived six miles away in the village of Muthill. When we asked him how he got to and from his work he said in his broad Scottish accent “oh aye, I just travelled“. Puzzled we asked if he maybe cycled or got a bus. “No” he insisted “I travelled“.

Misunderstanding

After some more probing it eventually dawned on us that by “travelled” he meant he walked. He walked six miles to his work in the morning and six miles back again at night. We hadn’t thought of that! The only reason I’m telling you this is that it was the first time I became aware of the vagaries of language. There we were, all speaking the same language but totally misunderstanding each other.

It’s why I’ve always been amazed by the EU, a union designed to stop wars but consisting of countries speaking twenty four different languages. Prior to the EU these countries used to fight like ferrets in a sack so the room for misunderstanding was immense. And yet it has been phenomenally successful at what it was designed to do. Maybe they should make Israel a member … after all it’s in Eurovision but we’d far rather they find some other solution.

FK15 9PX         tel: 01786 880 333          Braco Coffee

///magnets.poetry.showering

Bruce Arms

Well here we are, deep in 2024 already. We hope it’s going to be a good one for everyone. With fast fading memories of Christmas dinner – turkey, stuffing and cranberry sauce etc, what better way to celebrate our first scone of the year than with a cranberry one. Yes, a cranberry scone! Cranberries are just one of the many weird and wonderful things that appear once a year along with trees in your living room and puddings you set fire to. The Bruce Arms, here in Limekilns, clearly had a lot left over because there was only plain or cranberry scones on offer.

Sign for the Bruce Arms in LimekilnsIn previous visits to Limekilns we have visited the Sundial Cafe and Coorie By The Coast, but never here. When we walked in the barmaid asked “are you in for lunch?” We said “no, just wondering if you could give us coffee and a cranberry scone?” As she stood behind  a Ferrero Roche style pyramid of cranberry scones beside the large barista style coffee machine, she answered  with a curious smile “maybe!” When we first arrived at the Bruce Arms it felt a bit lacking in atmosphere but now we had a funny feeling this visit might be a bit different. And so it was!

Assumptions

We assumed that the Bruce Arms would have taken its name from Scotland’s famous King and all round good guy, Robert the Bruce. Turns out not to be the case. It’s named after one Thomas Bruce-Brudenell, Earl of Ailesbury whose family were landowners around here in the 17th century. His main contribution during his earthly existence seems to have been naming things after himself. There’s another Bruce Arms in Tanfield on another estate he owned not far from Newcastle in the north of England. Internal view of the Bruce Arms in Limekilns

Living in a small village

Anyway, Tracy the barmaid soon had us sorted with everything. There wasn’t any cream but our scone came with plenty butter. She’d also given us raspberry jam because that was her favourite.  As we sat there it soon became clear that Tracy knew everyone who came in. Not only that she also knew everything about them. We were soon very well acquainted with all their ailments as well as their next hospital and doctor appointments … fascinating! We weren’t eavesdropping, we just couldn’t help but hear! On the plus side there was no talk of deaths. And also, a pregnancy in the village, by all accounts, was going well.

Victorian photo of the Bruce Arms in Limekilns
Old Victorian photo of the Bruce Arms …. it hasn’t changed much!

Eventually, conversation got round to the ongoing saga that is the Post Office scandal. Although it’s been going on for almost thirty years it has only recently been brought to the forefront by a television drama “Mr Bates vs the Post Office”. Hundreds of Postmasters had their lives ruined, some jailed, by what turned out to be nothing more than a software error. The Post Office is wholly owned by the government so since the screening politicians have been falling over themselves to explain why they didn’t realise what was happening at the time. A scandal in itself. Everyone at the Bruce Arms thought it was an absolute disgrace. Eventually, however, we were asked for our opinion. 

A first

Suffice to say, Tracy ended up sitting at our table interrogating us about cranberry scones and pretty much everything else. We were able to tell her that the scones were great, much better than expected and might even have been topscones had there been cream and the jam and butter had not been prepackaged. Coffee was very good as well. In all our years doing this blog, this is the first cranberry scone we have ever come across. In such circumstances we decided to give it a topweird scone award. Well done the Bruce Arms.

Limekilns at Charlestown
The old disused lime kilns that give the village its name
Did you know?
Chalk comes from limestone and chickens fed on a diet that includes chalk lay hard eggs? Just the shells … you would still have to boil them for at least five minutes if you want them hard all the way through! Honestly, the things you learn on allaboutthescones.com!
 
Estonian Navy ship
The Bruce Arms ,the best pub in Britain. according to the Estonian Navy? Who are we to argue with the Estonian Navy
It was an absolute pleasure to chat to Tracy. We learned loads about the village, in the hour or so we were there, without asking a single question.  Just lovely open and honest people and we felt a real sense of community. It’s lovely to come on a place where everyone looks out for everyone else … we don’t see enough of that these days. We left feeling refreshed and trying to assimilate all our new found Limekilns knowledge.
Things to look forward to in 2024
  • Proper justice and compensation for all the wronged Postmasters. Some years ago I and a group of friends sailed to St Kilda. As soon as we landed the warden told us we should leave because a big storm was coming and this far out in the Atlantic was not a good place to be. One thing we had to do, however, was send a postcard home because of the unique franking mark you got at the Post Office. The Post Office is tiny. I bought a hat, a postcard and a stamp. Simple mental arithmetic could have totalled the cost in seconds but the old Postmaster insisted on writing it down on a piece of paper to add it all up. By the time he did that and then checked it twice the storm was imminent. But no software glitches here! 
  • A reduction in the influence of populist politicians like Trump and Johnson. To be a populist politician you need merely cater to the lowest denomination in your following. And every now and again throw them some red meat. Usually in the form of lies.
  • South Africa taking Israel to the International Criminal Court in The Hague charged with genocide. It’s odd that it has fallen to `South Africa to do this after all their struggles with apartheid. When we think of apartheid we think of Glasgow  in 1968. They renamed St George’s Place, Nelson Mandela Place. The South African embassy was housed there. All correspondence to the embassy then had to be addressed with the name of their most famous prisoner … genius!
  • More scones.Stags head hatstand at the Bruce Arms in Limekilns
 

KY11 3HL       tel: 01383 872259          Bruce Arms

///spared.surveyors.melon

Basecamp

Believe it or not we are still at Crieff Hydro for this post, or at least we’re still on the Crieff Hydro estate. Now, however, we are in Action Glen, about a five minute drive from the main hotel. And at the centre of Action Glen is the appropriately named Basecamp bar and cafe. Like all good basecamps it’s where you set out from on your daring adventures. It could be horse riding, off-roading, or even zip lining, There’s four zip lines side by side so you can have races.

Me on zip slide
Is it a bird, is it a plane, no it’s supersconey

Competing with the grandkids I always seemed to come last … greater wind resistance was the problem! So unfair!

Mysterious forces

Slide from the castleThere’s a very tempting giant maze where, if you really tried, you could easily lose grandkids! We have to say, ours had an uncanny knack of finding us again. There’s paddle boarding or fly fishing instruction … whatever takes your fancy really. Then there’s the Glen’s Fort where you can rock climb up to the top of the tower then whoosh down a metal tube back to ground level. There’s Segway experiences and huge inflated pillows you can bounce on. There’s even 4×4 driving for kids. Amidst all this non-stop fun, however,  we were delighted to discover that they also did some serious adult stuff … like scones. It wasn’t too long before we were drawn into the Basecamp cafe as if by some mysterious irresistible force. Ice cream seemed to have the same effect on the kids.Internal view of Basecamp

Unfortunately, the cafe was being manned single handedly by a chap who was completely out of his depth. He was probably supposed to be doing off-road driving instruction and had been told that he would have to do the cafe instead because the normal staff hadn’t turned up. It was all quite funny as he frantically rummaged around looking for things. As he wrestled with the orders the customers felt his frustration and were very supportive. Basecamp is a good place. All fairly basic but the kind of place you’re very pleased to get back to after all the outdoorsy stuff.

No worries

A scone at BasecampOkay, it’s not exactly  high altitude Everest Basecamp but nevertheless we felt a scone report would be appreciated by our fellow sconeys.  A fruit scone with some tea. was our relatively simple order. We took our scone to a table and waited for the tea … and waited …  and waited! Needless too say, our fish-out-of-water server had completely forgotten. No worries it all worked out in the end. No cream but the slightly over-cooked scone came with some prepacked butter and a generous portion of blackcurrant jam. Enjoyable enough but not a topscone. Who cares when you can just sit looking out towards distant Ben Vorlich. The kids didn’t share any of their ice cream but by all accounts it was very good.View from Basecamp

This is your intrepid sconey team for 2024. From Basecamp  we will venture forth into the nether regions of the world in search of topscones for another year. Wish us luck!Scenes at Basecamp

PH7 3LH        Basecamp cafe

///prevented.crowbar.bandstand

 

Crieff Hydro

Let us begin 2024 by wishing all our readers a very happy and healthy year. May your troubles be few and your scones be many! Traditionally it’s a time for reflection on the past year and making ambitious resolutions for the new one. Apart from all the horrible stuff going on in the world, 2023 was good. We had over sixty scones and topscones in such diverse locations as Busta House on Shetland and Coll Hotel on the lovely Isle of Coll. Our most important New Year resolution is not to have any and just enjoy whatever comes along. External view of Crieff Hydro

Memories

And talking of enjoying ourselves a few days back we visited Crieff Hydro Hotel and Spa with some of the family. Crieff is a Perthshire town we know quite well. We have lots of family connections  and many happy memories were made here. Over the years we’ve visited Crieff Hydro several times but always just fleetingly for lunch with relatives. This time we’re staying over with family.

Internal view of Crieff Hydro
a small part of the breakfast room

In 1868 it became Scotland’s first hydropathic establishment where people could go “to take the waters”. It may seem a bit odd these days, however. back then when good clean water was hard to come by, places like this flourished. A favourite for wealthy Victorians. Today it’s still run by the same family. It’s still labeled as a ‘spa’ hotel but nowadays it’s more for massages, saunas and luxury therapies rather than the waters. With over 200 rooms, 50 lodges and over 900 acres of hills and forests, it’s more like a small town than a hotel. It has a swimming pool, tennis courts, ice skating, a couple of golf courses  and off-road driving experiences … oh, and don’t forget the funfair.

External view of Crieff Hydro at night
Main entrance
Family, family family

It’s a family hotel and probably not the kind of place you would book for a quiet romantic weekend away. There are kids everywhere! Not that we could complain, we had brought some of our own. We decided to try the scones in the Wintergardens … a large dining area with magnificent views over the Perthshire countryside. And this is only one of several restaurants.

Internal view of Crieff Hydro
the Wintergardens

The Wintergardens is all self-service.  They had three different types of scone, all freshly baked. A scone at Crieff HydroPredictably, perhaps we chose a fruit one to share … obviously we had to save ourselves for dinner later.  We  loaded up our tray and found a nice quiet table by a window. Surprisingly perhaps, there was no cream and the jam and butter were all prepackaged. The scone itself was very good but taking everything into account it failed to gain topscone status.  

Enchanted forest at Criedff Hydro
Part of the Festive Forest

Having dabbled in hospitality ourselves we are slightly in awe of this place. With its 850 staff and multitude of facilities it must be a logistical nightmare to manage. And yet it has done so, apparently without a hitch, for over one hundred and fifty years … amazing!

Fun and games at Crieff Hydro
Funfair, skating and roller coaster experience with VR
Virtual reality

We are thankful that none of our grandchildren are having to experience anything remotely like what is happening in Ukraine and Gaza or any of the world’s other disaster areas. Their life experiences are so vastly different from some others, and here at Crieff Hydro it’s almost as if we are living on a different planet. And, of course, they do have the best grandparents in the world 😀

PH7 3LQ         tel: 01764 655555           Crieff Hydro

///trainer.amicably.callers

aran

Just over a year ago we reported from ‘Aran’ in Falkirk and it got pretty close to a topscone award. It has since closed and today’s ‘Aran’ is in Linlithgow but run by the same people. In our  original Aran post we said we would report from the Linlithgow establishment at some point in the future … so here we are!Internal view of Aran Linlithgow

Linlithgow is a very picturesque historic town and this cafe sits not more than two hundred yards from the Palace where Mary Queen of Scots was born in 1542. Unfortunately Aran is housed in a large 60s architectural monstrosity that does no favours to the town whatsoever. A plaque on the wall, however,  indicates that it won a design award from the Saltire Society. What were they thinking?Saltire Society Award

You will remember, of course, that “aran” is Gaelic for “bread”. They take great pride in their sustainability and sourcing local produce. They bake everything themselves using 100% renewable electricity as well as recycling  75% of their waste. Highly commendable but what would their scones also be highly commendable?

Topless

Over the past year we have had our fair share of scone disasters. Aside from the relatively few places that have had below average scones, A scone at Aran Linlithgowthere have been places with no scones and others with outlandish flavour combinations. Here, however, we had another kind of disaster … topless scones! Because I had ordered a bowl of soup Pat went ahead and chopped the top of our shared scone before I could take a photo. Not only that she had eaten it before I even noticed. This is the first time we have posted a photograph of a topless scone and I cannot tell a lie … it was her! However, she did say that the top was very good and with cream it would have been a topscone. The bottom was delicious as well … one of the best bottoms I’ve tasted!  So not quite a topscone but highly commendable.Logo of Aran Linlithgow

Goodwill

This is the season of merriment and goodwill to all men (for men read men, women and everything in between and beyond). However, sitting here looking at the world from Linlithgow, where the town motto is “be kind to strangers”, we’re not seeing much in the way goodwill. No-one seems to have told the Putins, Sunaks, Ali Khameneis, Bidens, Netanyahus. However, here in Scotland, in three days time we will have our shortest day at slightly less than seven hours. From then on the days start to stretch and we begin again with renewed hope that all these guys mentioned above will try to enact that motto.

Pat and I are getting ready for the usual deluge of grandkids so sconological adventures may have to be left to one side over the festive season. We thank all our readers for your continued loyal support and wish you all a very merry Christmas and a happy, healthy and sconey 2024. 

EH49 7EY          tel: 01506 844477            aran FB

///stumpy.excusing.beaters

Bakearoma

Sometimes people say things like “you fairly get around, don’t you” and we’re never quite sure whether it’s congratulatory or accusatory. We kind of know what they mean but it just doesn’t seem that way to us. As if to amplify the point, however, our previous post from Dnisi in Kirkintilloch is now followed by this one from Bakearoma – Bakery & Coffee Lounge in the Australian outback. Yes, today we are posting from the town of Roma in Western Queensland. Of course, Pat and I are not actually there but  luckily our Toowoomba correspondents are. Map of Toowoomba to Roma route

Driving

Aussies can be pretty disparaging about us northerners – we’re talking hemispheres! They reckon we are too wimpish to bother driving almost three hundred miles for a scone. Apparently it’s no trouble to Aussies! They are forgetting, of course, that we just have more sense! For us to drive three hundred miles we would end up on the outskirts of London having negotiated intense traffic round major cities like Manchester and Birmingham. And it would take around seven or eight rainy hours.

They, on the other hand, can probably drive in a straight sunny line from Toowoomba to Roma with barely any traffic and just the odd kangaroo hopping alongside past the occasional billabong.  And, with cruise control the whole way, they would be there before they could finish singing Waltzing Matilda! Okay, okay, we’ve never been to Australia and for all we know there could be a bend somewhere in the road.internal view of the Bakery & Coffee Lounge in Roma, Queensland

What’s in a name?

We thought Roma, population 7,000 and established in 1867 (‘yesterday’ to us northerners) would have been named by a homesick Italian immigrant. Seems obvious but it’s actually commemorating the Greek wife of an Irishman. Her name was Lady Diamantina Roma Bowen, wife of Sir George Bowen.External view of the Bakery & Coffee Lounge in Roma, Queensland

Seriously though, we are deeply indebted to our correspondents for their sconological endeavours down under. And we don’t mean to scoff at their sense of history … not really! In their own words:

Well, there is a lot of history out there, again, not by northern hemisphere standards, however, Roma has the distinction of being the first town gazetted in the new colony of Queensland. By 1864 it had its own court of petty sessions, a police station, doctor, chemist, and postmaster. The town was connected by telegraph to Dalby and Brisbane in 1866. So, there is history there!  Nowadays Roma is known for its strong agricultural sector, including beef and crop production. It is home to the country’s largest cattle sale yards.  A scone at the Bakery & Coffee Lounge in Roma, Queensland

Roma is also known as the birthplace of Australia’s Oil and Gas industry. All this and more!  The meat pies at the local bakery can’t be bettered, however….the scones..  afraid they would not pass the Pat and Bill Paterson’s high standards, despite the fact they come accompanied by a generous slice of carrot cake!
Had our scones and drove the four hours home.
Will do it again without hesitation!!

Maintaining sylph-like figures

Thank goodness  every scone doesn’t come with a slice of carrot cake. Our waistlines would be even more under threat! We should finish off with some comment on Australian politics. However, apart from knowing that it has to be better than here in the UK, where we are currently being lectured on illegality and human rights by Rwanda,, we don’t know enough about it. Mind you that’s never stopped us commenting on things before!

Our only wish is that the next time our correspondents set off looking for a scone they don’t stop at Roma and just carry on to Falkirk! Can’t promise carrot cake though.

QLD 4455.            tel: +61 7 4622 4399       Bakearoma FB

///cave.crusted.mocking

Dnisi

We’re in Kirkintilloch today to see one of Pat’s aunties. She’s in her nineties and of the nine aunts and uncles on her mum’s side this aunt is the last man standing. However, we haven’t seen her since she went into a care home and we had been warned that she probably wouldn’t know who we were. Consequently we were approaching with a degree of dread, it could be a very short visit. Unfortunately we arrived just as the home was sitting down to lunch so they asked us to come back in an hour. Hence we find ourselves here in Dnisi killing time.Sign at Dnisi, Kirkintilloch

In spite of Pat having had several relatives in the Kirkie (as it’s known locally) this is the first time we have ventured downtown. Parking’s a nightmare! Dnisi is part of a chain which sports seven outlets across Scotland. It originated here in Kirkintilloch in 2004. Their unique selling point is “roasted in-store coffee”. Having invested in small coffee roasting machines, they actually roast their coffee on site in each venue. You can also buy the D’nisi blend to take away. On a large hessian sign pinned to the wall they also proclaim to have award winning handbaked scones . All very promising!Variety of scones at Dnisi, Kirkintilloch

Overindulging

We decided to share a toasted cheese andwich and a fruit scone along with some of their special coffee. Imagine our surprise when the huge toasted sandwiched arrived on two plates with half the sandwich on each accompanied with a salad and french fries. A scone at Dnisi, KirkintillochEach plate was lunch on its own! We had just wanted a snack but it was all so delicious that it disappeared quite quickly.  Then the scone! It was huge as well! Unfortunately, it too was delicious with a lovely crunchy exterior so it went the same way as the sandwich.  

Together with the friendly service it might well have been a topscone had it not been quite so big and the jam and cream hadn’t been prepackaged. They are trying very hard in Dnisi, however, we would thoroughly recommend it. By the way, the coffee was good as well, Not as good as our favourite Cat’s Pyjamas, but good.Internal view of Dnisi, Kirkintilloch

It was time to return to the nursing home so we waddled out past the grey granite drinking fountain which you can see in the title picture. At the top there is the motto of Kirkintilloch which says ‘Ca’canny but ca’awa‘. It’s in Scots but an English translation might be ‘Carry on carefully, but keep carrying on’.  We might adopt that as our own motto!

Back at the nursing home, we needn’t have worried. Pat’s aunt knew us straight away. She was absolutely delighted to see us and insisted on introducing us to all her friends. It was a joyful visit!

Time?

No joy, however, elsewhere. The war in Gaza makes us feel positively sick. sign at Dnisi, KirkintillochThe situation is absolutely desperate. When we think about the causes, however, one thing seems to stand out … God! It may not be PC these days to think of Him as a Him but for the purposes of this blog He’s a bloke. The puzzling thing is that He is on both sides. Apparently about 2000 years ago He told the Jews that the land of Israel was theirs. A bit unGodlike to show favouritism but let’s accept that He did.

That would be fine it wasn’t for Him also promising the same land to the Palestinians who had been living there for thousands of years before. Isn’t it a crying shame that they didn’t have iPhones back then to record all these conversations with God! The Holy Land has always been a mess but there were people happily living there when it was just Land. God is always blessing America and that in itself should demonstrate what a deeply flawed individual He is! And three or four thousand years is but a blink of an eye in terms of time so perhaps it might help if both sides just left God out of it … He’s not helping! 

Luckily we still have joyful old aunties and places like Dnisi to see us through!

G66 1JD        tel: 0141 578 0135           Dnisi

///signed.mammals.spun

The Old Mill

You might think that Mary Queen of Scots crops up quite a lot in this blog. George Buchanan Monument in KillearnHonestly, it’s only because there are reminders of her dramatic but short life everywhere we go. Today we are at the Old Mill in the village of Killearn and almost directly opposite is the imposing, 103 feet high obelisk – the George Buchanan Monument. It dominates the house where he was born in 1506. George was Mary’s tutor as well as tutor to her son King James VI. George was educated in Paris and was seen as one of the leading intellectuals of the time. However, we’re not too sure he made such a great job of James … and thereby hangs a tale.

In 1589 the twenty three year old James married the fourteen year old Anne of Denmark by proxy. She was in Denmark and he was in Scotland. Earl Marshall substituted for James, and ‘consummated’ the marriage by lying fully clothed on a bed next to his new Queen.  What kind of job is that? Eventually she sailed to Scotland but a storm meant she ended up in Norway. James sailed to Norway and they were married in Oslo and honeymooned in Scandinavia for three months before eventually reaching Edinburgh in yet another storm. James blamed these storms on witches. He became obsessed with witches. Church leaders decreed that witches had to be punished with fire thus kicking off a century of horrendous witch burning. Pity help you if you were the slightest bit odd or your neighbours complained about you.

Woman of the year 1590

The marriage between Anne and James wasn’t exactly blissful.  Within twenty years Anne had seventeen pregnancies and gave birth to eight children only three of which survived infancy.  However, one became King Charles I, another became Queen of Bohemia and the other became the Prince of Wales but died when he was eighteen! During this time James had fathered numerous illegitimate children and reputedly courted several male lovers too.  Poor guy, he had complex needs. Surprise, surprise, he and Anne spent the last ten years living apart! She died aged 44 … same as her mum-in-law Mary Queen of Scots. Ahh, the good old days!

Sign for the Old Mill in KillearnOkay, enough of Royal debauchery and witch burning. The last time we were in Killearn was back in March when we were at the Kitchen Window. And again in May for Kenny Endo’s taiko drumming concert. It’s a happening place for being such a small village! The Old Mill was built in 1774 and is now a pub with a café across a courtyard area where horses used to be stabledInternal view of the Old Mill Killearn

Coping manfully

It was a nice day but quite windy and the couple at the next table said that they had booked to go to the Isle of Man but the ferry had been cancelled. It’s them witches again! a scone at the Old Mill KillearnWe got a fruit and cinnamon scone which came nicely presented with plenty butter and jam. No cream but hey, sometime you just can’t have everything! There only seemed to be one young girl on duty and she was doing a lot of dashing to and fro. Turned out the kitchen is in the pub across the courtyard. Just as well it wasn’t busy otherwise she would have been exhausted. Fruit and cinnamon was a nice combination  but not a topscone.Internal view of the Old Mill Killearn

You might think that a pretty little place like Killearn would be relatively untouched by war and that is largely true. However in 1943 the UK had well over 1000 prisoner of war camps and one of them was here.  Fifty POWs were housed in two huts on the edge of the village. Don’t think any would have been frequenting the Old Mill … but who knows? Forty miles away in another village, Comrie, there was a much bigger POW camp. In 2009 a former German inmate announced he was leaving his entire fortune to the village as thanks for the kindness he had received there. Let’s hope the current exchange of prisoners between Israel and Palestine can lead to some sort of reconciliation.

G63 9NJ             tel: 01360 550068                 Old Mill Killearn

///decoded.forces.tapes

ps: Killearn lies in a beautiful valley called Strathendrick which coincidentally is the name of our house back in Falkirk. Don’t know why it’s called that but that was the name when we bought it!

Major A A Gordon Gordon Society

This post is a little bit different. It’s not so much about a scone but  a scone recipe.  The Major A A Gordon Society may sound like somewhere you might go for an upmarket afternoon tea but it’s not. Or if it was it would be in Antwerp and we are definitely not there. Let us explain!

Major Gordon in 1901Obviously attentive readers will remember mention of the Major A A Gordon Society in the Wee Timorous Beastie post back in June. Initially the Society got in touch because they had read one of our posts from 2015 about the Scotch Tea House in Nice on the Côte d’Azure. They wanted to know if it was the same “Scottish Teahouse” Major Gordon had visited back in 1939. So far we have been unable to provide a definitive answer but are pretty sure that it is.

So in a way, our’s and Major Gordon’ s paths have crossed.  When we were there the tearoom looked very Victorian and we speculated that it was there because Queen Victoria spent a few months every year in Nice and loved everything “Scottish’`. And it looked as if it had not changed in the last one hundred years. Who knows, we may have even sat at the same table as Queen Victoria or Major Gordon?

Ben Loyal in Bridge of Allan
Major Gordon’s family home in Bridge of Allan

Major Gordon was from Bridge of Allan here in Scotland but is largely unknown here. In Belgium, however, it is a different story. He is a celebrated war hero because of his courageous actions during the Siege of Antwerp in 1914, Suffice to say, serendipity and scones seem to have coalesced in a way that means that Pat and I now do research on the Society’s behalf here in Scotland.

Recipes

As part of the exchange of correspondence they sent us pictures of the cookbook Major Gordon wrote around 120 years ago. They thought we would be interested in the scone recipe.Major A A Gordon cookbook

Turns out Major Gordon was a bit of a sconey … there were several recipes

Major A A Gordon cookbook

Innovating

Anyway, one day Pat decided to try and bring one of the recipes to life. Scones prepared to Major Gordon's recipeThere were problems however, we didn’t have any “buttermilk”. We didn’t even know what it was! When we looked it up it seemed to come in powdered form. Pat improvised with some self-raising flour and a pinch of sugar. Suffice to say the results, with homemade jam and whipped cream, were rather good. We have now discovered that buttermilk can be made simply by adding vinegar to milk to make it curdle.  Think we’ll leave that for the time being!

You just never knowHonorary Membership certificate for Major A A Gordon Society

We sent the pictures off to Belgium and within days they appeared in the November Issue of the Society’s newsletter. They have also made Pat and I and my sister, who has been researching the Scotch Tearoom in Nice, honorary members. You see you just never know where the simple act of eating a scone will lead. We are, of course delighted and delighted to continue helping the Society in any way we can.

Best laid plans

Back in June in the post from the Timorous Beastie Cafe we referred to the poem “To A Mouse” by Robert Burns. The timorous beastie was a mouse and Burns had just destroyed its nest with his plough. It made him reflect  on life and its unpredictability. “The best-laid schemes o’ mice an’ men / Gang aft agley.” He apologises to the mouse and for the general tyranny of man. With everything going on in the world and now the imbecilic riots in Dublin  last night you might think that man should have progressed a wee bit since Burns’s day. It would appear not! Thank goodness for scones!

The Major A A Gordon Society

Darnley Coffee House

Today we are in Darnley Coffee House. Built in the 16th century it’s had a long and chequered history. At one time it served as a rather famous brothel and now it’s said to be troubled by poltergeists … you know, things that go bump in the night!  Apparently, however, it takes its name from Lord Darnley whose home it used to be. He was Mary Queen of Scots second of three husbands. Of little import, you might think, when scones are in question! However, a brief bullet-point history may help readers understand the sort of dramas this place (and its scones) may have witnessed back then!
 
  • Mary became Queen of Scotland when she was six days old. She was crowned and spent the first four years of her life just a few hundred yards away from Darnleys Coffee House in Stirling Castle.
  • In 1558, aged 15, she married the 14 year old Dauphin  Francis of France and became Queen of France as well as Scotland when his dad died a year later.  She was sixteen.
  • King Francis died when she was eighteen whereupon she was sent back to Scotland (no offspring had transpired so no longer required)
  • Four years after returning to Scotland she fell head over heels in love with her half cousin, Lord Darnley (in whose house we are currently eating scones – albeit the stables of the house)
  • Darnley turned out (like a lot of Lords to this very day) to be a bit of a waste of space so Mary ended up  pretty much disregarding  him.
That old chestnut – jealousy!
  • Darnley became jealous of Mary’s Italian private secretary David Rizzio. Darnley thought, wrongly, that Rizzio  may have been responsible for his wife being pregnant.
  • Darnley, aided and abetted by Lord Bothwell stabbed Rizzio fifty six times in the Queen’s bedchamber in Holyrood Palace. The blood stains are still there!  Then, for good measure, they kicked him down the stairs … Rizzio was dead!
  • Later, Darnley was living at Kirk o’ Field in Edinburgh when it was blown up. He was found dead in the garden. The body, however, was unharmed … he had been suffocated!
  • In 1567 Mary visited her and Darnley’s son James, in Stirling Castle (he was only ten months old). Mary never saw her son again.
  • Mary was forced to abdicate and her son became King of Scotland and England when he was thirteen months old (can it get any weirder?)
  • Yes, Lord Bothwell, surprise, surprise, turned out to be another waste of space. He abducted and raped Mary in Dunbar Castle. After being divorced for a full twelve days Bothwell forced Mary to marry him in 1567. You’d never guess that he had an ulterior motive! She later miscarried twins while imprisoned in a castle on a tiny island in the middle of Loch Leven.
  • A year later she escaped and raised an army to fight the Battle of Langside.
  • Ten years later Lord Bothwell, imprisoned in a Danish castle, died having gone completely insane.
  • Because Mary was Catholic and had a legitimate claim to the English throne she spent 19 years imprisoned in various castles in both Scotland and England.
  • In 1587 at Fotheringhay Castle, Mary, aged 44, had her head chopped by her cousin Elizabeth I (not actually by Elizabeth – she got someone to do it for her)
Learning outcomes

Readers who have persevered so far will, if nothing else, have learned two things 1. Lords are generally a waste of space 2. Castles are useful for all sorts of things.  Nothing about scones though … unless, of course, you continue reading!

old illustration of Stirling at Darnley Coffee House
Picture in Darleysb of the street outside. Lord Darley may even be it?
Alluring
Earlier in the day we had been to see an old black and white movie “The Edge of the World” supposedly set on remote St Kilda.  In 1937 they couldn’t get permission to film on St Kilda so resorted to producing the film on the equally remote island of Foula in the Shetlands. For me, St Kilda is unique in that it seems to become even more alluring after you have visited. Nowhere else has had that same affect.  Anyway, the movie was highly unrealistic but remarkable in that they got the technology of the age to work at all in such a remote place.
 
Wee stills
After that we visited Stirling Distillery. The still at Stirling DistilleryI was puzzled how such a small distillery was able to produce any whisky at all. Turns out they can only do very small batches. Their first produce won’t be ready until 2027. And there won’t be much of it even then … probably about 300 bottles. When we saw the stiil it all started to make sense ,… it’s tiny! Let’s hope they can make it commercially viable. Meantime, gin sales willl have to keep the whole thing going. We bought a bottle of their nettle gin then we headed a little way down the street to Darnleys Coffee House.
 
Internal view of Darnley Coffee HouseThe first thing you notice is the barrel vaulted ceilings. They don’t do them like that any more. Like the distillery, it’s small and easily managed by just two or three very friendly staff who seem to take a real pride in what they do. Internal view of Darnley Coffee House
Having had quite a busy day of watching movies and visiting distilleries we felt in need of sustenance. Lunch was plentiful and absolutely delicious! The question was, could we manage a scone as well? 
Cream tea
Well, you know the answer to that. Cream tea at Darnley Coffee HouseThey offered a cream tea which came with  two scones … one each. They were a bit bigger than expected so, at first, we thought we had been a tad ambitious. No worries, they were nicely presented, warm and just as delicious as our lunch had been.  In no time they were nowhere to be seen! We dithered a little over a topscone award but eventually  decided that they just made it. Well done Darnley Coffee House, 
 
Internal view of Darnley Coffee House
Hostages?
There’s a tiny flicker of humanity appearing in the Israel/Gaza war. A brief ceasefire has been agreed, conditional on the release of Israeli hostages held in Gaza. Israel calls its Palestinian hostages ‘prisoners’ and has published the names  of 300 potential releases. Only half that number will actually be released … how thoughtless and cruel is that?
Dead right or right dead?
Isn’t it odd that every war is fought between people who honestly believe they are ‘right’. Or, at least we’re not aware of any war being fought with one side believing they’re wrong. God is always on both sides! War doesn’t make any sense unless both sides are ‘right’ … but then that doesn’t make sense either?  And they never end with one side being proved wrong … just dead! On that basis Israel will win this war, not because they are ‘right’ but just because the Palestinians are dead … what a fab solution!  You would have thought, with 80 million deaths in WWII, us homo sapiens would have learned something?
 
Okay, that’s it, Pat and I need to get on with our cosy little lives!
 

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by Bill and Pat Paterson and is about finding good scones throughout the world, with a little bit of politics