Titanic – The Galley

2 June 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

You know by now that we are on a birdwatching trip to Ireland. Well there is only so far you can take birdwatching without eventually realising that there might be more to life. Suffice to say that today some of our party decided to give the birds a rest and instead head off to Titanic Belfast. Reports we had had from old friends we met at the Jamaica Inn in Bangor were that it was not to be missed.

Titanic stories

While the rest of our party went off with their binoculars we took the train from Bangor to the Titanic Quarter station. This train does actually stop at every hole in the hedge but who cares when the hedge runs along the beautiful North Down coast on a lovely sunny day. Before too long though we were at our destination. We were promptly accosted by Betsy and Jack, a couple from Seattle who were staying at the same hotel as us. Betsy kindly took this photo of us desperately searching for the exhibition.We were slightly wary of this visit following our experience at the V&A in Dundee which we found disappointing and rather befuddling. This was different, we thoroughly enjoyed it. It benefits from having a clear and definitive story to tell rather than the slightly nebulous theme of ‘style’ at the V&A. We spent a wonderful couple of hours following the route that takes you through the entire tale of of this great ship, from its birth at the Harland and Wolff shipyard to its disastrous end. As with all these exhibitions you tend to end up with information overload. One fact, however, that stood out for us was that there were two toilets for 3rd class passengers … all 497 of them! It was a slightly different story in 1st class, of course. Maybe 3rd class was just supposed to do it over the side?

If only

If we had managed to have a scone on Titanic’s maiden voyage (we have no doubt it would have been a top one) we would never have been able to post it on this blog! How sad would that have been?

Plates?

We had many reservations about the catering facilities at the V&A and, unfortunately, the same applied here. Catering designed by academics. Okay there are vast numbers to cater for but with a little more common sense it could be done much better. Our watering hole was The Galley. It was self service and the first thing we noticed was that you had to eat your food off the plastic trays you collected it on! No plates! Okay, the trays were kind of shaped like square black plates. However, we are fans of www.wewantplates .com. It campaigns for food served on plates rather than lumps of slate, miniature shopping trolleys and the like … but trays? Okay, call us curmudgeonly. It was the beginning of a slippery slope. The scones themselves were actually quite good but given everything else that was involved this scone broke our run of good scone luck in Northern Ireland. Shame, everything else about this place is great and well worth a visit.

The Crown Bar

We then took a taxi to the Crown Bar in central Belfast. By the end of this short ride our driver had sorted out all the woes of the world and even acted as a bureau de change. The Crown is the only pub owned by the National Trust and it is not hard to see why. Extremely ornate with lots of mosaics, gas lamps and highly decorative carved ceilings. It features individual snugs designed to maintain the privacy of Victorian visitors who wanted to maintain an element of decorum. Stained glass windows featuring fairies, fleurs-de-lis, and clowns gave extra privacy.

That black stuff

We ended up sharing our extremely ‘snug’ snug with a couple from Los Angeles. On a cruise docked at Belfast harbour they had read that this was the pub to visit. They were desperate to try that black stuff (Guinness) and ‘beer’. They got a pint of each and thoroughly enjoyed them both. We had to leave so have no idea whether they ever made it back to their ship or not. Lovely people though so hopefully they did.

Ronnie Drew

We then went on to the market in Donegall Square and took the opportunity to go into the City Hall. For all the time we lived here we never before managed to get inside. It probably was not as easily accessed back then at the height of the Troubles.

Inside City Hall, Belfast — Splendiferous City Hall

After that we went to Ronnie Drew’s pub before heading back to Bangor without having noted a single bird. A great day!

It seems churlish and a tad easy to comment on British politics in a Titanic post so we will resist the temptation.

BT3 9EP tel: 028 9076 6386 Titanic Belfast

ps: the ever diligent Pedant has sent through this photo of a Lion foundry K6 in Tetbury in the Cotswolds. Tetbury is famous for its antique and bric a brac shops. Prince Charles also lives nearby at Highgrove. More importantly perhaps is the fact that Jet Black, drummer with the Stranglers, also lives there.

Scones, topweird

No 8 Court Street

31 May 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

Just over the hill from Bangor lies Newtownards, the town where our twin daughters were born almost forty years ago. Although a life defining moment for us, we barely know the town itself. When we lived in County Down we tended to go directly Bangor⇔Belfast and Newtownards did not figure on that route. It is on the way to Castle Espie, however, a nature reserve on the shores of Strangford Lough where we were heading today. Purely by chance we parked our car opposite this place, No 8 Court Street and it looked like a pretty good bet for a scone. We weren’t wrong, although scones were in short supply … nothing other than rhubarb and ginger ones left. Lately, there have been soooo many places where we have missed the scones completely or maybe just got the last one. We may have to make scone time a wee bit earlier. This is the roller coaster of uncertainty and chance that we ride every day on your behalf. Anyway rhubarb and ginger sounded exciting enough.

Internal view of No 8 Court Street, Newtonards — Downstairs café

Beefy chunks

No 8 is a great place with an excellent downstairs restaurant but upstairs they have a couple of very comfortable areas laid out with big soft armchairs and a cornucopia of antique furniture.

All the serving staff were bubbly and enthusiastic, nothing was too much trouble. After a delicious lunch our scones arrived. They were huge and at first we thought we would not be able to finish them. No worries, they were so good that they did not last long. They were warm and the wonderful texture combined with beefy chunks of rhubarb and ginger made for an unusual but wonderful experience. Everything was nice here. You could tell that the owners had put a lot of thought into the interior design as well as the food. The scone was presented beautifully together with a variety of coffee cans full of cream and jam. Yes, so far it’s three topscones in a row for Northern Ireland … yeagh!

Important things

You may think that news concerning a troika of scones is a trifling matter compared to the news that half of Jeremy Corbyn’s colleagues voted for other parties in the EU elections. Come to think of it, it is debatable which is the more important … or more trifling?

BT23 4JT tel: 028 9181 2430 No 8

///strumming.tennis.taps

ps: Castle Espie was excellent. You could say that going to a WWT site like this is cheating when it comes to a bird list. Pat, however, was very honest and only noted birds in the ‘wild’ section of the reserve. Currently, her total is 42 different species and that is without a blue tit or a great tit, neither of which we have seen yet.

Scones, Top

Portaferry Hotel

29 May 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

When you leave Bangor in County Down and drive down the east coast of the Ards Peninsula you encounter many pretty little seaside villages – Groomsport, Donaghadee, Millisle, Ballywalter, Ballyhalbert then Portavogie. The last time I was in this particular village was probably twenty years ago.

Reserved parking

I was sailing with some friends from Dublin back to Scotland. Around midnight we realised we were not going anywhere because of the tide and decided to pull into Portavogie. We could not get into the harbour, however, because it was solid with fishing boats. You could walk across the harbour in any direction without fear of getting wet. I made the mistake of asking a slightly inebriated local how the boats that came in first got out again? The answer was, of course, that they had to wait until all the others had gone … doh! We spent the night tied onto the outer wall of the harbour. When we told the story to the harbour master he said “that must have been a while ago! Nowadays there are only 23 boats”.

It was good to be back though and to see it in daylight for the first time. Judging by the parking notice we may not have been only ones having trouble stopping here.

Oops!

It takes a long time getting anywhere when you are birdwatching. With a car load of people all thinking they have seen something exotic it means stopping at almost every layby along the way. Eventually, however, we came to Portaferry, a lovely village where you can catch a ferry for the fifteen minute trip over to Strangford. We had just missed it however and, lo and behold, it was bang on scone o’clock. The Portaferry Hotel was beckoning. It was a glorious day so everyone was sitting outside. We were attended to by a cheery young girl who informed us that they had fruit scones so we opted for five of them. What is it with cherry scones over here? When our order arrived it consisted solely of cherry scones. An ‘oops’ moment for our server who quickly and apologetically rectified the situation.

Smugglers of Strangford Lough

While we sipped our tea we could look out over the water and think of all the shenanigans that went on here in the past. Daft Eddie and a gang of smugglers called the Merry Hearts of Down used lots of caves and coves around her to ply their trade in the 18th century.

Internal view of Portaferry Hotel — Snug lounge, Portaferry Hotel

Eddie was the illegitimate son of an aristocrat therefore he only ever had one name. His surrogate parents did, however, receive a very healthy allowance every six months from a mysterious “someone”? The ‘Daft’ bit was added due to his sunny carefree disposition. His tombstone bears a single word, “Eddie”. The Merry Hearts of Down used this treacherous stretch of fast flowing water to very good effect. They knew it extremely well and also knew that the government ships pursuing them were frightened of these tidal rapids. They would make their escape through here into the calm waters of Strangford Lough. A bit like most Tories, in these parts evading tax was not seen as being particularly dishonest. It was just a game to be played with the government. To most people, these smugglers were totally invisible.

On the other hand our scones were not smuggled. They were fresh baked and very visible and very tasty. Once again the cherry scone was very good even though it did not have the whole cherries of our previous scone at the Old Inn. The fruit scones were equally good. Overall the joyful service, the presentation with large bowls of jam and cream, the warm sunshine and the scones themselves, made for yet another topscone award. Well done Portaferry Hotel.

Republican scones

When we eventually caught a ferry we thought we should do a quick trip into Southern Ireland before a wall is built along the border. Alas we did not manage a scone in Carlingford but we did catch up with a couple of old friends … brill! Maybe another trip is required for a scone in the Republic?

Sign at Portavogie Harbour — Mural in Portavogie

Even Daft Eddie would have looked at the EU elections with a certain amount of incredulity. in the UK the two main parties have got their comeuppance. May has all but gone. Corbyn’s guiding principle has become clear at last … it’s a range of options! This clarity has ensured a total collapse in the Labour vote, especially in Scotland. Corbyn will eventually support Remain, not out of principle but out of expediency to save his own skin. Whatever … having looked at all the candidates, we are backing Daft Eddie as next leader of the Conservative Party.

BT22 1PE tel: 028 4272 8231 Portaferry

Scones, Top

The Old Inn

27 May 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

Okay, apologies, there has been much comment about the lack of scone mail recently. We have been busy but, now we are back in harness, prepare for your mailbox to be rattled on a regular basis. In this post we are in search of Irish scones … a first for us.

Northern Ireland is a fantastic country ruined by politicians and religion. We, however, have a big soft spot for this part of the world. It’s where we lived very happily from 1975 to 1982. All our children were born here so it holds many fond memories. Even with “the Troubles” in full swing at that time, the wonderful warmth of the Ulster people meant we had a great time and were very sad to leave and go back to GB.

What’s in a word?

On this visit we are with some fellow birdwatchers and Pat has already started her species list. We’re living for the next week in a hotel in Bangor but our first stop after coming of the ferry in Belfast, was at Crawfordsburn’s Old Inn. Some say it’s haunted. Perhaps it was here that one Irishman thought he made love to a ghost. When a clairvoyant asked if anyone in the crowd had ever made love to a ghost, he put his hand up. The clairvoyant then asked him onto the stage to explain how he had done that. Only then did he confess that he thought the clairvoyant had said “goat”.

When is a fruit scone not a fruit scone?

It is called the Old Inn because, you guessed it, it’s quite old. The thatched part in the title picture dates from the reign of Queen Elizabeth … the first one, around 1600. When we entered the wonderful oak paneled interior they only had one fruit scone left. It was sitting in solitary splendour under a glass dome on the counter. Of course, we had to put it out of its misery. We were extremely well looked after by some very attentive staff. They all had that slightly irreverent Ulster way about them and a great sense of humour. After a very nice lunch we set about sharing the scone only to discover that it was not a fruit scone at all, it was a cherry one … sacre bleu! In spite of this misinformation, as cherry scones go, this was outstanding. Whole cherries enveloped in a superbly soft centre and a slightly crunchy exterior. None of your tiny chopped up cherries here! It was delicious and we were delighted to kick off our Irish adventure with a topscone … yeagh!

Internal view of the Old Inn, Crawfordsburn — a quiet corner of the Old Inn

In the 17th century when Donaghadee became one of the main ports between Britain and Ireland, many famous travelers spent some time at the Old Inn. Dickens, Trollop, Tennyson and Swift all frequented the place. Even Dick Turpin, Paul Jones and the Peter the Great, Czar of Russia, were customers. C S Lewis even honeymooned here. We were merely following in the footsteps of many other celebrated people … emphasis on “other”.

EU elections

Now that Theresa May has finally named a resignation date perhaps she will decide to walk the North Down Coastal Path which passes through Crawfordsburn. It could make a pleasant change from fields of wheat. However, they have persuaded her to stay on long enough to welcome Donald Trump on his state visit … presumably because no one else wanted to do it.

Predictably perhaps, lots of people voted for Nigel Farage’s mono-policy Brexit Party in the EU elections. All the major parties have been punished for their handling of Brexit. Thankfully, however, the overall message was one for Remain. Perhaps Jeremy Corbyn will at long last give us some idea of what the Labour Party stands for. Goodness knows, he might even form a policy worthy of the name but maybe that’s taking things too far. Meanwhile the Tories are looking for a new leader. Any idiot has a chance of winning just as long as they have a pathological hatred of the EU.

BT19 1JH tel: 028 9185 3255 The Old Inn

///repair.pans.trial

ps It’s great to be back in N Ireland. Pat’s list is currently standing at 13

Ordinary, Scones

Boardwalk

10 May 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

Back in February you will all clearly remember that we visited Duck Bay on Loch Lomondside. We were impressed by its modern, almost glitzy appearance and were surprised to learn that the management, family run Cawley Hotels, also had a place in our home town of Falkirk. Typically perhaps, we then forgot all about it. You know how it is? When you live in a town like Falkirk you tend to think that nothing much changes. The odd ginormous horse’s head appears but otherwise everything pretty much stays the same.

Things do change however and this place is a prime example. Just over a year ago it was known as the Wheelhouse because of its proximity to the Falkirk Wheel. We liked it and would occasionally drop in for a coffee or a spot of lunch. Now, however, it is called Boardwalk and it wasn’t until we walked through the door that it dawned on us … Boardwalk is Cawley Hotels place in Falkirk. Now we remember?

It has been transformed from its previous rather dark and subdued existence. Now it is the exact opposite. Both inside and out, it is bright and airy … an huge change for the better. There’s lots of outside seating though today was a wee bit damp to take advantage. New glass walls give the illusion of it being much bigger than it was and there are numerous different eating areas catering to all requirements.

Learning on the job

We had been hoping to have a sandwich and a scone … if they had any. However, when we left Duck Bay, all these months ago, we had promised ourselves a return visit to try their delicious looking meringues and strawberry tarts. Here at Boardwalk, we ended up opting for an afternoon tea since that seemed to encompass all our needs – sandwiches, scones, meringues and strawberry tarts … perfecto! We were looked after by a nervous looking young chap who had obviously just started and was being tutored in the fine art of looking after discerning sconey’s every whim. He did very well and by the time we left, he not only seemed to have grown in confidence but also in stature … brill!. What about the scones?

Tricky decision

Well, everything was excellent, including the scones. Unfortunately we found ourselves debating whether or not they were topscones and sadly decided that they just missed out .. by the merest smidgen. A little on the big side and a little short on fruit. It was the same tricky decision when we were at Duck Bay so perhaps we should not have been surprised. Everything else about Boardwalk looks and feels great so we will definitely return before long.
So, now, cialis no prescription cheap we are so much dependable to the internet for prescriptions. There is generic levitra for sale no way you can satisfy your partner you also lose your sexual confidence. The average click-to-purchase rate has increased nearly 30% since 2004 and the average orders-per-email-delivered rate has increased more than cialis where 18% since last year. 5. Analyzing your buy tadalafil in canada http://amerikabulteni.com/category/haberler/ own impotence is a bad idea actually, however.

Prince Archie

In between the wall to wall coverage of Prince Archie’s arrival you sometimes get a snippet of Brexit news. Unbelievably, now we will have to elect new representatives to the EU Parliament … even though we are leaving. Okay the EU has stipulated that the UK must not make mischief in the new Parliament but try telling that to mischief-maker-in-chief, Nigel Farage. It seems to us that the EU should have the ability to expel members. The UK must have cost the EU dearly in terms of money and time wasted. They should just expel us and then independent Scotland can get on with the job of rejoining.

When we were on the Independence march in Glasgow last week we were impressed with the enthusiasm of the many young people taking part. Why not, it’s their future? They tend to get drowned out by the older voters however. Hence back in February in our Offshore post (the one before Duck Bay), we proposed that everyone one year older than me should be shot. The proposal raised much concerned comment from, perhaps unsurprisingly, readers who thought they might be affected. Okay, it’s a tad radical but we see no reason to change! Otherwise, for goodness sake, how are people supposed to learn to vote correctly?

FK1 4AD tel: 01324 272427 Boardwalk Falkirk

///ambushes.tungsten.ranges

Scones, Top

Kelvin Pocket Café

6 May 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

We are in Glasgow for the AUOB (All Under One Banner) March for Independence. We’re not born protesters but let’s face it we’ve got to do something so that Scotland can stop having its decisions made by another country. Being torn out of the EU against our will is bad enough but now that Theresa May has said that she will refuse permission for another referendum in Scotland, there is fresh impetus for this march.

Storm troopers

The Edinburgh march last year which over 100,000 people attended was our first. It was such good fun we thought we should do it again. This three mile Glasgow march was from Kelvingrove Park to Glasgow Green … far enough for our wee legs. It was also the 4th May and National Star Wars Day. We should have guessed that we might be in for a crazy day when the electronic signs at Falkirk High station were displaying “May the Fourth be with you, all light sabres and tickets must be ready for inspection”. Later we would find ourselves marching alongside a kilted storm-trooper.

Brie and Thyme

Anyway, we met up with our friends (fellow marchers) and got the subway to Kelvingrove station where we could join up with the multitudes. We had half an hour to spare, however, and it just so happened that right outside the station there was the Kelvin Pocket Café … an unexpected scone opportunity perhaps ?

Haggis and cracked pepper crisps — Even the crisps had gone all Scottish

We thought it got its name from the fact that it’s pretty small, but no. Apparently it relates to the fact that their outside seating area is a little sheltered suntrap in the afternoon. Today, all these seats were taken but we managed to get the last table inside … and yes, they had scones.

Unfortunately there were only cheese scones left so it was Hobson’s choice. These scones weren’t just any old cheese scones though. They were Brie and Thyme scones and they were delicious. Supplied just with butter they had a lovely crunchy texture and the flavour was subtle but wonderful. This is the first cheese scone to acquire our highest accolade … well done the Kelvin Pocket. The coffee was also great … they get it from Climpson & Sons in London and the beans are available to buy at the counter. Service was friendly and everything was prepared on site. There wasn’t anything not to like about this place. A great start to our day.

The Time Is Now

All too soon, however, our scones were but a memory and we had to head out to join the throng. A flotilla of wheelchairs and a pipe band, specially formed for the event, were in the lead. In spite of causing major disruption throughout the city the atmosphere was one of celebration. Even the people being held up were cheering us on. All sorts of people, all sorts of nationalities, all sorts of ages, all happily walking together. It had a carnival feel. The police were even joining in as people waved from tenement windows, buses and cars all along the route. Restaurants were emptying as staff and patrons came out on to the pavements to lend their support.

AUOB March, Glasgow, May 2019 — Front page of the Sunday National

The weather, though threatening to rain on several occasions, was kind to us. We got to our destination in reasonable shape. Estimates are that it was as big as the 100,000 Edinburgh march and we have no reason to doubt that. We had something to eat, listened to the music and the speechs and as we were leaving to go home marchers were still just arriving at Glasgow Green.

Terracota Fountain at Glasgow Green — The Doulton terracotta fountain at Glasgow Green with the Templeton Building in the form of the Doge’s Palace in Venice in the distance

Another fine mess

Westminster has just embroiled itself in yet another mess with Secretary of State for Defence Gavin Williamson or to be perfectly accurate, ex Secretary of State for Defence. Incredibly, in spite of the Tories losing over 1300 councillors in the recent local elections and all the gains going to Remain parties it is being interpreted by May as a mandate “to get on and leave”.

Today it was heartening to be in the presence of so many who were all literally singing from the same hymn sheet. It’s time for Scotland to flourish, hold its head up and go its own way. After Brexit we have Scexit.

G4 9HG tel: 07793 315700 Kelvin Pocket TA

///rests.move.jungle

ps: The Pedant has been busy in Cheltenham. He found one K6 being used as a cash dispenser and another group of 6 K6s all made at the Lion Foundry in Kirkintilloch but none working.

What do you call a group of six telephone boxes? Maybe ‘a call’? Other suggestions welcome. If you are really keen you can find the one on the left at

///remind.zone.plank

Ordinary, Scones

Bo’ness & Kinneil Railway

1 May 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

You’ve all heard of Albert Einstein … general clever clogs with all the fancy theories and the big toes. Today, in a somewhat similar vein, we are testing our own Theory of Sconativity SS=(s¹,s²) where SS = scone satisfaction, s¹ = speed of scone and s² = speed of person eating scone. If s¹ and s² have the same value then SS can be achieved. Normally this theory is of little importance because everything is static however it’s of supreme importance when scones are moving. Okay, too much science?

The Lord Robert steam train at Bo'ness and Kinneil Railway — Lord Roberts at Manuel Junction with the electrified Glasgow Edinburgh line on the right

The test is being conducted on board the Bo’ness and Kinneil steam railway which is Scotland’s equivalent of the Large Hadron Collider near Geneva which also, in its own small way, tests the predictions of different theories of particle physics … crumbs?! We are using the Lord Roberts steam engine which was built in Glasgow in 1899. It’s sometimes used for Thomas The Tank Engine outings. Today it is our scone accelerator.

Journey time enough?

There is something rather surreal and exciting about having afternoon tea on a train. It probably happens all the time on the Orient Express but that is not an experience we are likely to have. Here we were hurtling through the countryside at a heady 19.75 mph and enjoying tea and scones … brill! The legal limit for this railway is 20 mph so the driver, with a somewhat wry smile, informed us that 19.75 was as fast as they ever go?? Anyway, our afternoon tea was presented very promptly at the start of our trip. Given that the journey to Manuel Junction, taking in stops at Kinneil and Birkhill stations, lasts no longer than twenty minutes all the teas have to be prepared beforehand and brought onto the train ready plated.

There was a good selection of sandwiches, a few cakes and two scones each accompanied with jam and clotted cream (Rodda’s). No topscones but suffice to say that the Sconativity Theory proved to be completely accurate. Even though the scones were traveling at a considerable velocity … so were we! SS was well and truly achieved.

Emperors

Birkhill station at Bo'ness and Kinneil Railway — Birkhill station

Japan has a new Emperor … wow! We think Jeremy Corbyn has ambitions to be an Emperor too. Simple ‘Prime Minister’ is not going to cut it for him. We don’t expect anything other than self-preservation principles from the Conservatives but we do from Labour. However, after a seemingly promising start as a man of principle, Corbyn has disappointingly proved to be anything but. After a year of sitting on the fence he has decided, after a much lauded meeting of the Labour party on Brexit, to continue fence sitting. We can only assume that this spinelessness is powered, not by the needs of the country, but by simple personal ambition. It’s a bit like his stance on Scottish independence. He wants independence for every country in the world … except Scotland … purely out of self interest. He is never going to become Emperor without Scotland’s die hard Labour voters.

Heyho, many thanks for the kindness of those who gifted us our Railway Afternoon Tea Vouchers. It was an absolute delight.

EH51 9AQ tel: 01506 822298 Bo’ness & Kinneil

ps: There was a Falkirk manufactured K6 at Bo’ness station. It had been converted to defibrillator storage.

Ordinary, Scones

The Coach House

24 April 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

We are coming to the end of our time up here in Inverness. It has been great and our gang of mini people have really enjoyed it. We have done much searching and seen lots of invisible things … Nessie, dolphins, easter bunnies and pirates. We managed, albeit with some difficulty, to retrieve a bottle that was almost completely buried in the mud, deep in the river Ness. It had obviously fallen overboard from a pirate ship and when we got it cleaned up we discovered the pirate’s name engraved in the glass …. Arthur Guinness, arrr!

Stubborn cow

Today, however, we are in search of out-of-the-way scones. Hence, we are in Tomich, it’s pretty out-of-the-way! Having successfully made our way through Drumnadrochit without having to visit Nessieland we eventually ended up here having successfully negotiated miles of single track road and a large herd of cattle. These cows definitely had the “we were here first” attitude and were in no hurry to move off the road. But who cares when you are not rushing to get anywhere … and the mini people loved it. Tomich itself consists of about five houses, a hotel (closed) and the Coach House café in what used to be the Post Office.

More than 101 golden retrievers

Now you could be forgiven for thinking that nothing ever happens in Tomich but you would be wrong. In 1868 the first ever Golden Retriever gun dog was bred here by Lord Tweedmouth. Last year they had 150th anniversary attended by no less than 361 golden retrievers. There’s also a tea plantation. They have 500 camellia sinensis plants in cultivation and although they haven’t produced enough for a single cuppa yet, it’s still early days. For all you wild swimmers there is also the Plodda Falls … we didn’t have time! Along with all the beautiful Glen Affric scenery what more could you ask for? A scone … that would be good!

The people who have the Coach House are wonderfully friendly and welcoming. We soon had ourselves sorted with some lunch and Pat and I had a scone to share. Everything was great … apart from the scone! Early promise soon dissipated along with the scooshie cream which simply dissolved into a watery white liquid. The scone itself was a bit dry and crumbly. No topscone but did it spoil our visit? Not at all, this is a lovely quiet spot and we would love to return.

© bill paterson photography — Mini people of pirate bottle fame make a tropical island from Tomich gravel

We normally speak in fairly disparaging terms about land ownership and landowners in Scotland. Danish billionaire, Anders Povlsen, owns more than anyone else … almost 350 square miles. The news that he lost three of his four young children in the Sri Lankan bombings is desperately sad and beyond imagination. Our hearts go out to him and his wife.

IV4 7LF tel: 01456 415459 The Coach House TA

///rinsed.fountain.dragonfly

ps: This K6 in Tomich is fully functional but unusually did not have a manufacturer’s badge and instead of simply “TELEPHONE” it had “email,text,phone”. Not sure how that works?

Scones, Top

IV10 Fortrose

22 April 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

Today we are in Fortrose on the Black Isle just north of Inverness. We are here to see dolphins with a host of expectant mini people. Having had no luck with Nessie we are desperately trying to find dolphins instead. And Chanonry Point in Fortrose is definitely the place to see them. Except there weren’t any there … arrgghh!

Looking for dolphins at Chanonry Point, Fortrose — Mini person looking for dolphins

You start to question your own self worth when faced with lots of mini people full of unfulfilled expectation. Thank goodness a late burst of reality came to our rescue in the form of the Easter Bunny.

Looking through holes

One chap who could have foreseen all this disappointment was Kenneth Mackenzie, the Brahan Seer, Scotland’s Nostradamus. He made many predictions in the 16th century, most of which actually came true. He had a pebble with a hole through which he could see the future. Such pebbles can still be found on the beach at Rosemarkie, the next village to Fortrose. We were sorely tempted to send some down to Theresa May. If she looked through the hole she would be able to see the fruits of her labours … an independent Scotland, a united Ireland and England slowly being sucked into a black hole.

Plaque to the Brahan Seer at Chanonry Point, Fortrose — Memorial stone to the Brahan Seer on Chanonry Point.

Having the ‘second sight‘ can be a bit of a curse though. When Lady Seaforth, wife of the Earl of Seaforth and reputedly the ugliest woman in Scotland, asked Mackenzie if he could see her husband on his visit to Paris. He said he could, he was fine but refused to elaborate. When she threatened to have him killed unless he told her everything he eventually admitted that the Earl was having a high old time of it in the French capital with several other women. He also predicted the downfall of the House of Seaforth.

These predictions were completely true, however, they were so scandalous she had him dipped head first into a barrel of boiling oil, here on Chanonry Point. Surely, he should have seen that coming! Ironically, as he met his horrific and untimely end, he was probably comforted by the sight of leaping dolphins just offshore! Okay, maybe not that comforted!

Mission accomplished

Anyway after a few hours of stone skimming and non-existent dolphin watching some sort of sustenance was called for. We ended up here at IV10 (it’s the postcode) on the town’s high street. It was one of these places where you just new as soon as you walked in that it was going to be good. Although descending on them en masse (six adults and five mini people) they were not put out at all. A lady who was half Argentinian, half Greek had us all sorted out in no time and seemed absolutely delighted to be doing it. We had a lunch of fantastic food, couldn’t have been better.

The scone that Pat and I were sharing was also first class. Nicely presented with generous helping of jam and cream … no prepacked stuff here. We like everything about this place, from the excellent deli to the beautiful al fresco eating area. They say that they “aim to offer responsibly sourced, uncomplicated food and drink, made with love and respect“. Mission accomplished IV10, we need more, go-to destinations, like this in the Highlands.

Unbelievably big holes

We think Kenneth Mackenzie wouldn’t have had too much trouble predicting new and dismal shootings in N.Ireland or even bomb blasts in Sri Lanka. However he might have found it harder to foresee 1000 people being arrested in London for trying to save the planet … or a comedian being elected President of Ukraine. You couldn’t make it up … you really need a great muckle hole in your stone for that sort of thing!

The Chanonry Point lighthouse at Chanonry Point, Fortrose — Chanonry Point lighthouse

IV10 8SX. tel: 01381 620690 IV10 Café

///youthful.whiplash.green

Ordinary, Scones

Landmark Forest Adventure Park

18 April 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 2 Comments

We still have lots of miniature people to keep occupied. Having failed to spot Nessie at the Dores Inn, today, we decided on another outing to the Landmark Forest Adventure Park in Carrbridge. It was a master stroke decision. We were able to make our miniature people even smaller and easier to handle, as this picture testifies. This place is actually a fantastic for kids especially if you want to tire them out. It has treetop walks, waterslides, climbing walls, zip wires and a butterfly house to name but a few.

Just watching their boundless energy was enough to make Pat and I feel pretty exhausted and in need of sustenance. We thought the Forester’s Restaurant would do the trick.

As in many such places this eatery trades on the fact that it is the only one around and it suffers accordingly. Relatively poor service at the self service counters and generally lack lustre food at fairly high prices. We were able to get everything we needed, however, including a scone. Once again there was no local produce in terms of jam and butter and no cream at all. The scone itself was okay if a little soft and bland. No topscone today. An unforeseen downside was that, having fed the wee ones, they had even more energy. This meant us having to venture out once again onto these hair-raising attractions – Wild Water Coaster, the Runaway Timber Train and the Tarzan Trail. Phew, we should really stick to scones.

The news seems to be mostly about the £56 billion Crossrail project in London. It may not be operational until 2021 which would make it several years late. This is of little consequence for people in Scotland who, apart from paying for it, receive no benefit whatsoever. Heyho, twas ever thus. The sooner Scotland can stop funding crazy projects like Crossrail and HS2 the better … and there is only one way to make that happen, isn’t there!

PH23 3AJ tel: 01479 841613 Landmark

///girder.extent.horn

Titanic stories

If only

Plates?

The Crown Bar

That black stuff

Ronnie Drew

Beefy chunks

Important things

Reserved parking

Oops!

Smugglers of Strangford Lough

Republican scones

What’s in a word?

When is a fruit scone not a fruit scone?

EU elections

Learning on the job

Tricky decision

Prince Archie

Storm troopers

Brie and Thyme

The Time Is Now

Another fine mess

Journey time enough?

Emperors

Stubborn cow

More than 101 golden retrievers

Looking through holes

Mission accomplished

Unbelievably big holes

by Bill and Pat Paterson and is about finding good scones throughout the world, with a little bit of politics