Scones, Top

Mill House Pop Up Coffee Shop

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It was a surprise when our correspondent, the Pedant, reported the existence of a café in the tiny hamlet of Monzie. It’s not so much that Monzie is isolated, it’s just a few miles from Crieff after all. It’s just that it’s on a very minor road that hardly anyone uses. If you were to be run down on this road it would most likely be by a farmer on a tractor or a speeding quad bike.

Happy days

On the other hand, I know it extremely well. As a young lad, my brother and I, came to our aunt and uncle’s house in the summer and it was just a few hundred yards from here. Looking back these were idyllic days. This piece of country was our adventure playground. No water in the house … we had to collect it every day from a spring, however, I don’t remember anything remotely resembling hardship. And the sun shone every day! On reflection, of course, it couldn’t have been easy for my aunt and uncle without all the modern day paraphernalia we now take for granted but they always seemed extremely happy with their lot. Of course, maybe they were just happy when I was there?

Green machine

My aunt had magical powers.  She employed them when she made banana flip. A seemingly ordinary dish consisting of custard and, you guessed it, bananas. No one else, however, came within a million miles of making it the way she did. My uncle was a jolly round man and, for me, a kind of superhero. The Invicta road roller horse badgeNot only could he play any instrument he picked up, be it a trombone or an accordion, he drove a road roller. He was employed by the local Council. Not only that, he was allowed to take it home at night. This huge lumbering green machine sat there outside the house as an object of complete wonderment to a wee boy. A big rearing horse badge on the front … like a ferrari but much better!

Laying claim

Anyway, it turns out that the Mill House at Monzie is now run as a boutiqueExternal view of the Mill House Pop Up Cafe at Monzie B &B. When it has gaps in it’s B&B calendar they do this pop up café so it’s only open now and then. But would a café in such a quiet spot be successful? It was crying out for further investigation. We arrived on a beautiful sunny day to find that we were the only ones there. The café itself is well appointed and it had a range of fantastic looking gateaux … and scones. Internal view of the Mill House Pop Up Cafe at MonzieThe delightful young chap who looked after us said that he could not lay claim to the cakes but he could with the scones. He had baked them earlier. So far so good!

All the scones were plain so we had one each. They came with loads of butter, jam and cream. All the jams were home made. The coffee and tea was excellent as well. It all looked very promising. A scone at the Mill House Pop Up Cafe at MonzieWe really hope that this pop up is successful because they obviously put a lot into it and everything we had was fantastic. The gateaux were to die for and scones were top. Well done Monzie! And when we were leaving others were arriving, hurragh!

Diary dates

If you want to visit this beautiful peaceful part of the country and support this venture, here are the dates it will be operating.

  • 1. Tuesday 30 July – 1 Aug  10.30-4pm
  • 2. Tuesday 6 – Saturday 10 Aug   10.30-4pm (Sat 11-5pm)
  • 3. Tuesday 13 – Wednesday 14 August 10.30-4pm
  • 4. Tuesday 20  – Thursday 22 Aug 10.30-4pm
Bats in the belfry

We couldn’t leave Monzie without visiting the church next door where my uncle was beadle for many years and pay respects at the superhero’s grave.Monzie kirk and Muriel and Jim's graveMy uncle used to take my brother and I along to the church to help him get it spic and span for the Sunday services. My aunt would do the flowers. At that time there were bats in the belfry, wonder if they are still there. The church was open so we were able to go inside and reflect on life in Monzie and elsewhere. My aunt and uncle led very simple but happy lives. Much of their time was spent helping others and in service to their community. About a million miles from Trump and his sad little mean life.

Old bridge over the Shaggie burn at Monzie
The old bridge over the Shaggie burn at Monzie doesn’t see much traffic these days

PH7 4HE         tel: 07815 737130        Mill House Café FB

///flipper.again.canal

ps One of our Aussie correspondents sent us this photo of a K6 at Airlie Beach in the Whitsunday region of Queensland. It wasn’t underwater! The chap floating above it was advertising surfing stuff. Unfortunately its position meant that the manufacturer’s badge was inaccessible.K6 at Airlie Beach, Queensland, Australia

Useful link: things to do in Crieff

Scones, Uncategorized

The Gathering

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Looking at the title photograph you can probably sense that this post is going to be a little out of the ordinary. If, in 1691, a young  Rob Roy McGregor had been riding from Aberfoyle to his home at the head of Loch Katrine he would have passed this way and the view would have looked exactly like this. Green fields bordering Loch Ard and the mighty Ben Lomond in the distance. He would probably have raised an eyebrow, however, at what was going on in the middle distance … all these brightly coloured things? As he got closer he, no doubt, would have found the giant bouncy castle particularly perplexing. He would, of course, have stumbled on The Gathering at Kinlochard. Not that such an event would have happened in his day without his permission and probably without him being the guest of honour.

Bunting at the Gathering at Kinlochard
Bunting from all the Commonwealth countries

An annual event in this part of the world, we are here because we knew that our Trossachs correspondents would be officiating. This is their natural habitat after all.

The great thing about this Gathering is that it is not great. It’s small and very ordinary in almost every sense of the word. That’s what’s so great about it! Just local folk getting together for a day of eating, drinking, games and music. Temperatures in the mid twenties even had people swimming in the loch to cool off. Every where you looked there were kiddies and grown-ups tossing cabers, tug-of-warring, piping, singing, boating and generally having a wonderful time.

The meaning of life

The whole idea is to raise a little money for the local commumity. We were persuaded to wage some of our life savings on the duck race. Two hundred little yellow plastic ducks get thrown in the local river. We chose duck 42 because, as you know, that number is the “answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything”, however, on this occasion it wasn’t. Not sure where 42 came in or even if it finished.

The monster at the Gathering at Kinlochard
Lucky photo as the Loch Ard monster appeared momentarily. No one else even noticed.

Only one thing could make the occasion more joyous … a scone. As it happened one of our correspondents was the cashier on the cake table in the village hall which was groaning with home-baking. Among all the cupcakes, lemon drizzle cake and millionaires shortbread was heaps of scones. A scone at the Gathering at Kinlochard

The medication benefits for long terms and you don’t feel any necessity for prescriptions over and over.

Pat chose a cheese and chive one and I went for my usual fruit. Now you may think from the photograph that these scones would prove to be a tad on the unexciting side. Not a bit of it they were absolutely delicious. Pat waxed lyrically about hers. Remember, some anonymous volunteer, perhaps several, had probably been up in the wee small hours baking these little wonders. Unfortunately they have to remain ‘uncategorised’ simply because there is no way for readers to access them. Unless, of course, like us, they were here on this particular day. Otherwise they would have been topscones and testament to the good bakers of Kinlochard whoever they were.

The Loch Lomond ukelele band at the Gathering at Kinlochard
The Loch Lomond ukulele band raising funds for Strathcarron Hospice
Fundamental goodness

When you attend events like this where the local community gathers together, for no other reason but simply to be together, you remember man’s fundamental goodness. Man’s willingness to look after and care for each other. To bake cakes and scones for others to enjoy. To provide music for others to enjoy. It’s only a tiny minority of people who create all the trouble … politicians normally and arguably, scone bloggers.External view of the Gathering at KinlochardIf only the world was a bit more like Kinlochard. Every now and again it could get together to celebrate just being human and to make new friends. Not like the dreadful Olympics! Just a bit of fun, some duck racing, a few scones, you know the sort of thing. The US/Iran nuclear crisis would quickly seem like a mere trifle.

Piper on the shores of Loch Ard
A young piper plays his heart out beside the loch

Many thanks to all the many people involved in the organisation of The Gathering. You are all heros. Even our correspondent who charged us full price for our scones before reducing the cost by 50% … we didn’t mind, no really, we didn’t!

The Gathering FB

///jeering.seeing.giants

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

The Topiary Coffee Shop

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We were on a mission and the mission was … compost! For reasons too complex to enter in to here, we needed compost … a lot of compost! Our supplier was to be here at the Klondyke Garden Centre on the outskirts of Falkirk. They are dealers and the deal was three bags for £12. We ended up getting fifteen 50litre bags … that’s a lot of compost. Don’t worry it’s not as bad as cocaine and it’s not even a regular habit … we are binge composters. Probably won’t touch it again for a year or so.

Principles

Having got our compost fix safely loaded into the car and feeling a bit giddy just at the thought of it all, we thought we should try a scone at the Topiary Coffee Shop. Perhaps it was the mind altering effects of all that compost but here’s another confession.Internal view of the Topiary Coffee Shop at Klondyke Garden Centre, Falkirk

You all know our thoughts on preloaded scones. They are the devil’s work and to be avoided at all costs. A scone at the Topiary Coffee Shop at Klondyke Garden Centre, FalkirkWell maybe not “at all costs”. Sadly, today at the Topiary Coffee Shop, we stood there and worked it out. To buy a fruit scone and then add butter and jam, all priced separately, was going to be more expensive than a preloaded one. Unbelievably we went for preloaded … arrgghh, what happened to principles? They were, of course, overcome by Scottishness! But we should have known that too much compost was bound to have an effect! Serves us right, the scone was awful … hard and tasteless. when we informed the staff that their scones were not great they informed us they had been baked in the morning. They did not say which morning however. The coffee was good though.

The art of shaping

Topiary, of course, is the art of shaping something natural into an unnatural form e.g. hedges into swans … that sort of thing. Topiary came to mind as we watched the two Tory leadership contenders bumble their way through their hustings in Scotland. Both looked as if they would rather be anywhere else than north of the border. Neither looked like  they could be shaped into anything useful. Boris Johnston’s assertion that Scotland’s block grant, was a gift from England, didn’t help. Jeremy Hunt’s wild eyed assertion that the problem with the Scottish Parliament was that it was full of nationalist MPs, didn’t help either.

A lot more creative topiary will be required if these characters are ever to be formed into something remotely acceptable to the vast majority of Scots, however, one of them is destined to rule over us for the foreseeable future. The cream of topiarists are trying to form Corbyn into something recogniseable … anything would do! He seems to determined, however, to remain a hedge. More compost please!Internal view of the Topiary Coffee Shop at Klondyke Garden Centre, Falkirk

FK2 0XS       tel: 01324 717035        Topiary

///wooden.actors.small

Ordinary, Scones

Palacerigg Café

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Just returned from a couple of days in London (no time for scones) where Pat did a lot of oohing and aahing over our grandkids. Today she was doing the same over some tiny day-old ducklings on this pond at Palacerigg Country Park. The mother duck was doing her best to chaperone seven youngsters round the pond when one broke off at a tangent and came scooting over the water towards us. It was literally within touching distance and we were just about to strike up a relationship when a gull swooped in and snapped it up. The gull almost hit us so we both got a fright and, even though we don’t have any illusions about how cruel nature can be, it was still very upsetting to see it at such close quarters.

Sadly neglected

Internal view of Palacerigg Café at Palacerigg Country Park

Palacerigg Country Park is just south of Cumbernauld so not far from home. It is not, however, a place we have visited very often, hardly at all in fact. Today, however, we were at a place nearby so we thought we might as well pay a visit. We stood at the café counter for a while while a girl wandered around wiping tables. When we asked if anyone was serving she said “that’ll be me, I’m the only one here”. That little exchange pretty well summed the place up. Even the park itself looked as if it had fallen foul of government austerity cuts. It just looked neglected.

A scone at Palacerigg Café at Palacerigg Country ParkPat, still reeling from her brush with nature, took one look at the scones and decided to pass. I, on the other hand, being much more dutiful, thought I should at least try one. Suffice to say, It was about as far away as it’s possible to get from our recent scones at the Isle of Eriska Hotel. This one was wrapped in a cellophane bag with some jam and butter. Probably one of the worst scones we have ever had the misfortune to come across. Don’t go to Palacerigg for a scone. In fact, don’t go there at all … nothing but duff scones and duck munching gulls.

Incredulity

Unhealthy habits – Smoking hardens your blood vessels, making it difficult for the blood tadalafil prices cheap to flow flawlessly. Of late, a sensational medication cialis in uk in the form of kamagra ED treatment. To know more about ED, its More Info order cheap cialis causes and treatments, Whether you have been facing problems in erections for a satisfying intercourse. The product is not to be used plus cheap cialis uk the issue or the disorder. “Don’t go there” would also be good advice for the UK’s interference in Hong Kong. Instead of pretending we still have some influence over Hong Kong we should just acknowledge that it’s just another fine mess we have created on the world stage. We really are spoiled for choice when it comes to looking for our messes. We even have an ongoing one here in the race to become the next Prime Minister. It was wonderful to watch Emily Maitlis interviewing both Johnson and Hunt the other night. Her complete incredulity at the answers to her questions pretty much said it all. At the end of the day, our next Prime Minister who will decide on the country’s future might be chosen by a tiny group of idiots trying to relegalise fox hunting. You really couldn’t make it up! Oh, for a great big gull to carry the pair of them off.

Bill Robertson hit the nail on the head. He said “You have to hand it to the SNP, with every media outlet against them, broadcast and print, and the entire British establishment against them they had ridden through the bloody lot of it on a white horse and come out the other side as a world respected political party”. Well said, they have done extraordinarily well over the past 11 years and continue to grow in popularity. Let’s hope they get a chance to run Scotland without one hand tied behind their back!

G67 3HU    tel: 01236 720047       Palacerigg Country Park

/// nasal.shady.talked

Scones, Top

Isle of Eriska Hotel

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Okay, okay, it’s been a while since the last post. We know that most of you view us purely as one dimensional scone munchers however there is much more to us than that. “Deep and diverse” could  easily describe us if you squidged up your eyes and gave us the benefit of a lot of doubt. We’ve been busy with other things … okay?

The UK is beset by controversy at the moment … Bojo’s brush with the law after a rammy with his bidey-in, for one. Then there’s the even more controversial photos of him all loved up with the same bidey-in the following day.

The bridge to the Isle of Eriska Hotel
The Isle of Eriska bridge

So, far be it from us to heap more controversy on a public already struggling to cope. It has to be asked however … when is an island not an island? This question has beset the Isle of Skye since they built the bridge. It even begs the question – is Great Britain an island since they built the Chunnel? The reason for it being so topical is simply that today we are on the Isle of Eriska and it also has a bridge! We were about to tackle the management with the Trades Descriptions Act when our cream teas arrived and completely distracted us.

External view of the Isle of Eriska Hotel
Pat sitting outside the conservatory

The 300 acre Isle of Eriska is situated at the entrance to Loch Creran on Scotland’s west coast. The ‘big house’ was built in 1884 by the Stewarts of Appin and designed by Hippolyte Blanc who also designed Jenners in Edinburgh’s Princes Street. Since 2016 it has been managed by the same Inverlochy Castle Management Company that looks after Andy Murray’s Cromlix House.

Fly pasts

Our cream teas were served to us in the sunshine at a table in frCream tea at the Isle of Eriska Hotelont of the conservatory. Where else on a day like today? Needless to say the little tit bits that accompanied our scones were soon beginning to melt … and so were we! We were able to sit long enough however to have a fly past by a kestrel, an eagle-owl and a Harris hawk.  A young Belgian/German couple were being shown the intricacies of hawking and we were also the beneficiaries. Where else do you get a hawking lesson with your scones? Readers can probably guess that awarding a top scone to this place was not exactly difficult. The service, the presentation and the scones themselves were all excellent.

the golf course at the Isle of Eriska Hotel
We might possibly be persuaded to take up golf here .. if we had absolutely nothing better to do
Otters

There is more to this place than scones however. A spa and swimming pool are there if you need extra pampering. There’s squash courts, a golf course and clay pigeon shooting if you feel energised by your scone. The beach at the Isle of Eriska HotelWe felt sufficiently energised to take a walk to the north end of the island where we sat on the beach in complete silence. Not even the distant murmur of a car engine or indeed anything. We didn’t even see another human being in our entire walk. It was as if we had the entire island to ourselves. The shrill cry of an oystercatcher once broke the peace and quiet but that was all. A short onward stroll round the shore took us to Otter Point but there were no otters. There must be an otter reason for it being called that … sorry!

We cannot fault this place. Warmly welcomed by everyone, we spent a good part of the day here and didn’t even part with as much as £20. Next time though we will come and stay and that might cost a bit more.

Clarity

We feel that politicians should be banned from using phrases such as “let me make this absolutely clear”. They all use it with monotonous regularity and still no one has a scooby about what’s going on .. including them! Luckily, the extravagant promises being flung around with gay abandon by both contenders for the Tory leadership don’t actually matter. After all the Great British public don’t get a say in who will be their next Prime Minister … democracy, UK style!

View from the Deck restuarant at the Isle of Eriska Hotel
View from the Deck restaurant towards the hills of Morvern

As far as the ‘island’ controversy goes we have decided that, since Eriska has always been accessible by foot at low tide, the bridge makes little difference. In other words, it doesn’t matter … but you knew that already.

PA37 1SD             tel: 01631 720 371               Eriska Hotel

///iron.interview.orbited

ps: In Eriska village (the hotel’s staff quarters) on the mainland side of the bridge we came across this K5 telephone box. It wasn’t working but it was made in Falkirk. As such, it is the first K5 we have found from our home town. The other one we found at the Bay Hotel was from the Lion Foundry in Kirkintilloch. There are only 54 K5s registered as still being in existence in the UK but we doubt that this one is registered.

Ordinary, Scones

The Smithy at Sandyford

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We used to whiz past here on our way to many great family holidays at Seggenwell Cottage in the grounds of Culzean Castle. Tea and scones were a regular treat at the tearoom there. However, that was pre-blog days. One day we will return and see if they are as good as we remember. Watch this space! Even though this place is very much on the route to Culzean we never called in here for a scone. That’s because, back then, it didn’t even exist. It has only been open a couple of years.Internal view of the Sandyford Smithy Coffee Shop

Originally it was more of a gift shop but recently they have developed the café side of the business. Very good it is too. Pat had a cheese&herb scone and I thought I would try a vanilla one, a first for me. The staff were delightfully friendly, chatting away the whole time. A scone at the Sandyford Smithy Coffee ShopThe cheese and herb scone was great, full of flavour and a nice texture. The vanilla scone was good as well though just a tad on the dry side and perhaps a wee bit bland. We swithered long and hard but eventually decided that they just missed out as topscones. Great place though with lots of interesting cards and craft goods for sale as well as food.

Sedatives required

Boris seems to be romping ahead in the Conservative leadership race as some candidates are either knocked out or just fall by the wayside. We are now down to six contenders but prepare yourself for a coronation. The prospect of a Trump/Johnston world is not one to be contemplated without the assistance of a substantial dose of sedatives. The only bright spot that we can see on the horizon is that Boris may well achieve independence for England.

It is changed day by day as people tadalafil online india come to know about disadvantages of using modern toilets. Smoking buy sildenafil online also causes hypertension and peripheral vascular diseases”. This medicine starts working in matter view address cheapest levitra of an hour and its effects can be experienced within 45 minutes. 3. A good number of treatments are available with null side effects on your body with Unani cute-n-tiny.com cheap levitra treatment against erectile dysfunction. Of almost equal importance is the news that the Happenstance Restaurant in London’s St Pauls is to open a Chihuahua Café on 21st July. Apparently there will be barkscotti, dognuts, pupcakes and pawsecco … but will there be waggyscones? Just put your dog in your handbag and pop along. Think we might give it a miss … if only we could do the same with Brexit.

KA9 2SP        tel: 01292 501334         Smithy FB

///rinse.magnitude.galloping

 

Ordinary, Scones

Maly’s Café

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Girvan is a town with a population of around 6,500 on the Ayrshire coast looking out towards Ailsa Craig. It’s a fishing town but was a popular tourist destination in former years because of its beach. Some of you may not be aware that Girvan is twinned with Torcy, Seine-et-Marne on the outskirts of Paris. The link commemorates Sir Thomas Huston who came from the town. His bravery, fighting the English in 1439, helped capture the town of Meaux and in recognition the King of France granted him the fiefdom of Torcy. Don’t worry if you didn’t know that. Something else you may not be aware of is that Richard Branston’s Virgin vodka was made here by William Grant & Sons. Don’t worry if you didn’t know that either.

Scones can be hard to find

Internal view of Maly's Café, GirvanNormally we just pass through Girvan, however, today it was scone o’clock and we thought we would explore a little. To be honest there is not that much to explore, the towns history as a busy fishing port and holiday resort are well and truly in the past. Nevertheless it was good to be here. The first place we were told had good scones didn’t have any! After a bit of head scratching someone sent us in the direction of this place, Maly’s Café.

Lacking stature

Appearance wise, Maly’s is pretty ordinary looking. It serves a limited range of everyday good fA scone at Maly's Café, Girvanood which probably suits the locals down to the ground. The staff were welcoming and soon had us sorted out with some light lunch and a scone to share. Just like the café itself there was nothing special about the scone. It was perfectly good but simply did not have the  stature of a topscone. English jam, Irish butter and scooshie cream didn’t help.

Pitch to become PM

Anyway, the Tory leadership campaign rolls on. Would you like an extra £6000 per year? Okay you would, but there’s a catch! You have to be already earning £80,000 per year to get it. That’s Boris Johnson’s pitch to become the next PM. The Conservative party has at long last managed to unite the nation … in despair. No matter what side of the Brexit argument you are on you just feel complete and utter despair. Well done them!

BBC is doing away with free TV licenses for folks over 75. The UK’s pensions are the lowest in the EU by quite a margin so this will probably mean that many will have to spend their money on food and heating rather than have a TV. This, in the world’s fourth largest economy? At least they will be spared the state broadcaster’s incessant propaganda. Scrap the TV license!

KA26 9EU          tel: 01465 238009        Maly’s FB

///steadier.sponge.acoustics

ps we were caught out the other day on a visit to Dobbies Garden Centre near Stirling. They had fully loaded cream scones that were so big we decided we would have one to share. Dobbies BOGOF deal on sconesWhen we came to cash desk the lady said “would you like the other one”? Seeing our puzzled looks she said “when you buy one of these scones you get another one free”.  Goodness me what a dilemma! Eventually we thought we might as well take the other one … big mistake. We didn’t get anywhere near finishing them. Can’t make up our minds if Dobbies is just being generous or exploiting our weak wills. We think it’s the latter.

foreign, Scones, Uncategorized

The Lemon Tree – Mijas

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Remember our Trossachs correspondents? We haven’t heard from them in a while but that does not mean a lack of discipline on their part. They have been diligent in their scone searches, however, a recent visit to Sri Lanka simply did not yield any finds. In order to understand the mess the world is in you have to realise that many countries do not benefit from the civilising effect of scones. They are scone deserts! Okay, okay, what about the the UK, we hear you cry? We know … it’s simply inexplicable that a scone rich country like the UK should find itself in such a perilous state. Perhaps it should be compulsory for all politicians to have afternoon tea every day?

Snorters

Anyway our correspondents are on their travels yet again and have sent a comprehensive report which neatly fits into our recent run of nautical scones, albeit these ones are more ‘aeronautical’. It also provides a welcome distraction from Michael Gove’s confession to being a bit of a coke snorter. Is he trying to appear normal in some way?  Although he says he finished with Class A drugs more than twenty years ago it looks, to us, as if they are still having a profound effect today.

In our correspondents own words

Street view in Mijas, SpainGreetings from Mijas (pronounced Meehas) in sunny Spain, a long time favourite of ours. We love its narrow lanes, stunning flora, evening tranquillity and unspoilt ethnic nature and views over the Med. The licensed taxis are even donkeys. No skyscaper apartment blocks, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Burger Houses or English Breakfasts here . So we thought!

Advert for scones at the Lemon Tree Café in Mijas, SpainOn previous visits to the Costa del Sol we have avoided the beach culture of the large resorts which has extremely limited our search for scones. Our only previous success when we visited Gibraltar and sampled scones of an inferior nature. Mijas has now presented us with a cultural dilemma. On our first evening we noticed The Lemon Tree – a new café type restaurant tucked into a corner of the Plaza de la Constitution and horror of all horrors it proudly advertised Full English Breakfast. However, we were partly consoled that they also offered cream tea for two at a very reasonable 6.95 Euros. Should we, shouldn’t we? This morning we yielded and after a brisk walk around the village and its old walls we headed towards the Lemon Tree to sample our first scones in Spain.

The place was mobbed but we managed to get the last outside seat and placed our order.
Scones at the Tree Café in Mijas, SpainIn the parlance of AllAboutTheScones, the scones were well presented with an accompanying pot of tea, strawberry jam and a tub of Rodda’s Cornish Cream. They were nice and warm, crisp on the outside, fluffy in the centre and surprisingly delicious – real candidates for Paterson Top Scone if the cream had been fresh. To be fair butter was an option. We’ll be back, but may sacrifice the scones for the Lemon drizzle cake with Ice cream!

NB we give Rodda’s Cornish Cream a hard time but only when it is served in Scotland. Scotland has plenty of its own cream. However, a Cornish Cream tea in southern Spain is obviously genuine so the use of Rodda’s is perfectly acceptable.

29650 Mijas              tel: Jan 634153256           Lemon Tree FB 

///second.thick.afflict

The Mango

External view of the Mango Café in Mijas, Spain Can Mijas be the scone capital of Spain? Fresh from the pleasures of the Lemon Tree we have found another gem, The Mango Café. It is hidden away in the corner of a courtyard. We enjoyed a cream tea which will sound familiar to you two Top Sconers. Not too big, warm, crisp on the outside, soft and fluffy in the centre and served with real cream and home made strawberry jam. Absolutely delicious!!!A cream tea at the Mango Café in Mijas, Spain

Sincere thanks to our corespondents. Their admirable dedication and excellent reports have brought a ray of sunshine to the blog.

29650 Mijas      tel: +34 951 53 54 82           The Mango Café FB

///bashed.laying.flagged

Scones, Top

HRY Britannia

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Sign for the HRY BritanniaYet again, after Titanic Belfast and Fingal, we continue with the nautical theme. This time it’s the turn of HRY Britannia. You may think that we have carefully constructed this sequence of sea bourne scones but we haven’t, it’s purely coincidental. We would probably never have set foot on this symbol of extravagance and privilege had it not been for the fact that if you stay on Fingal you become entitled to a tour of HRY Britannia … it’s a privilege!

Royal Crest

We did not take that title picture. It was copied from the table mat under our scone and depicts HRY Britannia and the Royal EsNapkin crest for the HRY Britanniacort at the D-Day Commemorative Review on 5th June 1994. The white ship behind Britannia is the cruise liner Canberra. This picture of the Royal Crest was taken from one of the napkins. Because all the world seems to want to visit this ship, the tours are  very well organised … they have to be efficient to cater for the numbers. When you go in you are given a handset which explains everything you could possibly need to know about wealth and privilege.

Courteous

It takes a good hour and half to go all the way round however once Pat had steered the ship to a safe harbour we were able to partake of tea and scones in the Britannia tearoom. Pat in the captain's chair on HRY BritanniaWe’re not sure if the Queen reads this blog but whether she does or not, we suspect that she may well be a closet sconey if not an open enthusiast. However, we should not speak ill of the Queen. Every time she has spoken to us she has been polite and courteous to a fault. It’s the system of patronage she heads up that we have issues with.

The tearoom at the HRY BritanniaThe tearoom was busy. Although we could have had another bottle of Moet with our scone we felt we had had enough bubbles recently and decided to pass. Also, it was also only 10.45am which we regard as early for champagne … call us old fashioned.  A party of Americans at the next table were having a bottle however and when we took them to task saying it wasn’t even noon yet, they said “its noon somewhere”! Honestly?

A scone at the HRY BritanniaOur  fruit scone was nicely, if plainly, presented and came with plenty jam and cream. Wouldn’t it be dreadful if it wasn’t a topscone? Would we end up in the Tower if we marked the Royal scone down? We could even lose our heads. Luckily for us it proved to be very nice indeed … not as good as Brendan’s on Fingal but good enough for us to keep our heads … phew!

Honi soit qui mal y pense
That’s the motto on the crest that appears on the napkin. It literally means “Evil (or shame) be to him that evil thinks”. It is sometimes used to insinuate the presence of hidden agendas. How appropriate for today’s political world. Lifebelt on the HRY BritanniaThis is Theresa May’s last day in charge of the Conservative party and a whole pile of people with hidden agendas are bidding to replace her as PM. No need to worry though. Jeremy Corbyn was in triumphal mood as his party took the Peterborough by-election against the Brexit party. In his delusional head he sees himself as the next PM already … nil problemo! Also, apparently the Queen has really really enjoyed meeting with President Trump. She learned an immense amount during their many chats. That’s according to Trump on Fox News, of course!

We were eating Royal scones on the Royal yacht as HRH and the Donald were dining at Buck Pal. The cultural divide is brilliantly explained in this video.

EH6 6JJ             tel: 0131 555 556             Britannia

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Scones, Top

Fingal

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Fingal logoAfter our visit to Titanic Belfast we have aquired the nautical bug. This time we are staying aboard the Fingal, a floating hotel moored in Port of Leith. Now before you jump to the conclusion that we just move from one luxurious hotel to another like a couple of itinerant millionaires, let us set the record straight. It’s not like that at all. Well, maybe a little bit but not that much. And we only do it with good reason. It’s a special day for Pat and, of course there’s always the potential for a scone along the way. We are doing it for you, our sconey readers … no, really! If you come on pictures that make it look as if we are enjoying ourselves it is simply to help ease your conscience.

Pat beside the Fingal
Pat about to board
Challenging scones

Now we are not going to lie and tell you this was some sort of old bathtub of a boat. It wasn’t. Probably about as far away as it’s possible to get from that description. It has a beautiful ballroom and a glass lift that automatically compensates for any movement of the ship. So, not too bathtubish! The bottle of ice cold Moet & Chandon in our room completely dispelled any lingering doubts. Tempting though a glass of champs was, duty called. We knew we could get an afternoon tea on board but neither of us felt able for such indulgence late in the afternoon and risk spoiling our appetite for the evening. Interior view mof the Fingal, LeithA cup of tea and a scone would be just fine. Although, for the management, this was going slightly ‘off piste’, nothing was too much trouble.

Scottish stuff

Ours scones were beautifully presented and they even gave us a few finger sandwiches, just to tide us over. You all know by now that our sconological benchmark is a cream tea at Fonab Castle in Pitlochry. Perfect scones, perfectly presented in beautiful surroundings … the best scones in the world. Scones on board the FingalIn over 300 scones reviewed on this blog, Fonab has never really been seriously challenged … until now!

Fingal’s chef Brendan had produced scones that, at long last, could easily give Fonab a run for its money. Nicely presented, they were warm and had that delightful light crunchy exterior and the soft inner that we crave in a topscone. There was a fruit and a plain one for each of us but they were precisely the right size, so no problem. We could not fault them. They came with jam from Galloway Lodge Preserves in Gatehouse of Fleet and even the butter came from the Edinburgh Butter Company in Stockbridge. It’s so easy to present quality Scottish products like this. We are constantly amazed that so many Scottish establishments source their products from everywhere but Scotland. Well done Fingal, the easiest topscone we have awarded in a long time. You may take pride of place along side Fonab Castle … that’s quite an achievement.

To the Shore

We could have stayed on board for dinner however the ship is only a few minutes walk from the Shore area of Leith where there are loads of excellent waterside pubs and restaurants. A spot of exploring was called for! We had a quick drink at Sofi’s and then an excellent meal at The Ship on the Shore. The light had almost gone as we made our way back to the mother ship.

On the deck of the Fingal
A life on the ocean wave … ignore the buildings in the background
Man sized scones

Today is the 75th anniversary of the D-Day Landings however Fingal is far too young to remember any of that. She was built in 1963 in Glasgow and spent her whole life supplying remote lighthouses around Scotland. Each very comfortable cabin is named after a lighthouse. Ours was Lismore which coincidentally was a lighthouse with which we became very familiar when we experienced Kiki’s man-sized raspberry scones on the Isle of Lismore.

Pat with old friend at the dockside
Pat relaxes with a new friend on a late evening return to Fingal

Today is also the day that Donald Trump leaves the UK after his state visit. It’s probably also the last day that Theresa May will make a public appearance as Prime Minister. Huge sighs of relief all round.

Fingal was a great experience and Charlotte, Catriona and all the staff made it great fun as well. We would thoroughly recommend it to all itinerant millionaires.

EH6 7DX          tel: 0131 357 5000          Fingal Hotel

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by Bill and Pat Paterson and is about finding good scones throughout the world, with a little bit of politics