Nithbank House

31 August 2021 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

.We’re away for a few days … hurrah! These days it’s not that easy to find a hotel or B&B with availability because everywhere in Scotland seems to be fully booked. The COVID staycation phenomenum has seen loads of people coming here from other parts of the UK … and who can blame them? Many will have visited for the first time so hopefully the staycation will become a regular thing rather than the usual jetting off to foreign parts. We did, however, find Nithbank House which had a room free for a couple of days … bingo!

The Chamberlain

Driving down Nithsdale we stopped off at Drumlanrig Castle for a bit of a nosey. It looks like it could house a small army but actually only two folk live there, The Duke and Duchess of Bucchleuch and Queensberry. Drumlanrig’s 90,000 acres forms only a relatively minor part of the 280,000 acres the Duke owns in Scotland. It’s good to know he has done nothing, apart from being born, to merit such vast wealth. It transpired though that Nithbank House was built in the 1790s by the 4th Duke as accommodation for his Chamberlain … a kind of estate factor. And, would you believe it, we were going to be staying in the Chamberlain’s Quarters!

View from Nithbank — the view from our scone over the river Nith and Nithsdale

Shallow or shallow

The house has a magnificent location looking out over Nithsdale. In the blurb it says that everyone is welcomed with warm scones. Now we don’t want you to think that we are shallow enough to be enticed by such frivolous inducements … okay, okay we are! It is run by Melanie and John, two very warm and friendly people, and when we arrived Melanie said we could have our scones in our room, the lounge or outside. We opted for outside and within a few minutes we were sitting in the sun admiring the view.

External view of Nithbank — Pat limbering up for a scone

The beauty of the view was only bettered by the arrival of our scones. Wow, this is how scones should be presented!

There were two treacle scones and two fruit ones. Nice little dishes of cream and jam as well as one full of finely cut strawberries. Everything was homemade. Unfortunately one of the treacle scones could have done with another minute in the oven however the rest were fabulous. Given the setting, the presentation, the service and the scones themselves we decided that one slightly undercooked scone could be overlooked … easy topscone. Well done Melanie and John!

The power of love

Internal view of Nithbank — A Rembrandt at Nithsdale House. Drumlanrig Castle thinks it has the original.

In such a romantic setting you can’t help. but think back to 1715 and the love between the Earl of Nithsdale and his wife, Lady Winifred. For his part in the Jacobite Uprising he had been found guilty of treason and thrown in The Tower of London to await his execution. Lady Nithsdale rode to London in deep snow accompanied only by a maid. She visited the Earl and together they hatched a daring escape plan. Elaborate and extremely dangerous but it worked. They escaped to Italy where they spent the rest of their lives probably reminiscing about Scotland and Nithsdale. They’d have sympathised with the folks currently having to flee Afghanistan.

Afghanistan

Today is the first day in two decades that Afghanistan has not been occupied by foreign troops … cause for celebration in itself! It remains to be seen how things will pan out with the Taliban. Strangely though, at the moment they seem to be only ones talking any sense. In future Afghanistan will be ruled by a handful of men who think they know what is good for everyone else. However, we all know what that feels like! With talk of kalashnikovs and burkhas, Nithbank seems like it’s on another planet. Planet Nithbank for us!

DG3 5AP tel: 07823 773211 Nithbank Country Estate

///sonic.puppy.automatic

Ordinary, Scones

Glenturret Lalique distillery

26 August 2021 billpaterson1@me.com 5 Comments

It’s touching when people write and ask if we are still alive just because they haven’t received a scone post for a while. Apologies, we are okay but we have been a little distracted by other things recently. To kick things off again we thought that we should visit a special place, Glenturret Lalique distillery just outside Crieff. When I was young my big brother and I used to get sent here every year for our holidays. Not to the distillery itself but to Distillery Cottage which was just a few yards along the road and the home off aunt Muriel. No idea why we were sent to stay with Muriel but maybe our parents just wanted rid of us for a few weeks … that’s a distinct possibility!

The swing

The little glen in which the distillery sits is idyllic and we had the freedom to explore far and wide … we regarded it, horizon to horizon, as our own. The sun always shone and our aunt used to make banana flip for pudding … bliss! At that time the distillery was closed and was falling into disrepair. We used to play in it’s many abandoned buildings. There was a swing in one and when James Fairlie bought the place in 1957, with a view to reopening it as a distillery, he asked us if he could take it down. Just think … if we had said “no”, none of this would have happened!

Anyway, the distillery has had many incarnations since then. The last one was the Famous Grouse Experience but now it has been taken over by Lalique the upmarket French glass manufacturers. Today I was here once again with my big brother who had invited myself and Pat for lunch.

Bar at Glenturret Lalique distillery — The bar

Things have changed! Our old swing has been replaced by a huge Lalique chandelier for one. Tempting though it was we did not try it out as a swing … we’re grown up now! Everything about the place screams ‘quality’ … they had even imported French waiting staff. Pat and I were very happy not to be paying the bill. Lunch consisted of haggis Scotch eggs, sea trout, Wagyu steaks, scallops and elaborate chocolate desserts … absolutely wonderful!

Lounge at Glenturret Lalique distillery — the salon

Duty calls.

Remembering our scone duties, however, we asked if we could have tea and scones in the salon. I had heard they did a Glenturret sherry-soaked fruit scone … but it wasn’t to be, only ordinary fruit ones. A return visit for afternoon tea is now essential!

As might be expected the scones came beautifully presented with delightful little dishes of cream and homemade jam. My tea came in a lovely cup produced in Germany to Lalique’s design. It had a matt white finish but no handle. Oddly, it did not feel hot to pick up – dashed cunning those continental types.

Design over substance

Now you would expect the scones to be top notch in a place like this, wouldn’t you? But they weren’t. Good, yes but not topscone material, plenty of fruit but just a wee bit on the solid side for our liking. Not to worry when we come back for our Glenturret sherry soaked scone we might get a better result … especially if we have a few of them!

World records

Glenturret Lalique distillery is not only famous for once housing our swing it was also home to Towser the Mouser. Towser holds the Guinness World record for killing mice, 28,899 to be precise. How did they work that out and are they absolutely sure it wasn’t 28,900? She lived all of her 24 years in the distillery and has a thoroughly well deserved bronze statue testifying to her considerable achievements. We could have played with Towser if she had been around in our time but she would have probably been too busy!

This visit was a special treat from my big brother and it was very special. Hope the wallet didn’t protest too much. Pat even bought me a bottle of Glenturret sherry cask whisky. She could have got it in a Lalique bottle but she’s too Scottish for that sort of nonsense. Should I try soaking a scone in it?

Borders

At last the US and UK are leaving Afghanistan … should never have been there in the first place. Inexcusable for Britain which has a centuries old disastrous history in the region. On the way home from Crieff we noticed swallows lined up on the telephone wires getting ready to fly back to South Africa after the summer. They will be replaced by thousands of geese coming here from Siberia and Greenland. With the current woeful situation in Afghanistan it occurred to us that borders have a lot to answer for.

PH7 4HA tel: 01764 656565 Glenturret Lalique

///epic.impose.extremely

Ordinary, Scones

The Fish Man

22 July 2021 billpaterson1@me.com

It’s come to this … we’re getting our scones delivered. Of course, there’s more to it than that! We didn’t deliberately seek out scone deliveries, it just kind of happened. For many years now Scott McSharry, the Fish Man, has been parking his van outside our house on a Wednesday evening and hooting his horn. The horn has a magical effect on the neighbourhood. Suddenly, from no-one being around, there are loads of people emerging from their homes and all heading in the same direction. Scott’s a bit like the pied piper except this is Falkirk not Hamelin!

It wasn’t always like this. Scott used to have a wee van and he sold fish from Pittenweem … maybe some eggs if you were lucky. Recently, however, he acquired a much bigger van and now you can get bread, cakes, tomatoes, strawberries, eggs …. and, would you believe it … scones. All his produce is wonderful so we thought his scones would be worth a try as well.

Scones to your door

We ate ours in the garden in the sunshine with a bowl of whipped cream and some of Pat’s crab apple jelly. What wasn’t to like? Nothing as it turned out. The scones were a tad on the large side for our liking. They tasted good and that’s what matters at the end of the day. Most of our readers are unlikely to be able to use the Fish Man’s services and, of course, they were not exactly ‘presented’ so no topscone. Nevertheless, useful to know that you can always get a scone even though you can’t be bothered baking or going out.

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Pingdemic

With most of the COVID restrictions being lifted we can go anywhere though, in Scotland, the wearing of masks is still required. In England, so called Freedom Day (July 19) has come and gone. No restrictions, just recommendations. This joyous occasion, however, has been anything but. Just when everyone should be able to go about their business ‘normally’ we have had a rise in cases resulting in a pingdemic. Hundreds of thousand have been pinged by the ‘track & trace’ app and forced into ten days of isolation. Schools may as well close. Supermarket shelves are bare because there’s no-one to deliver the stuff or put it on the shelves. Complete chaos!

We have also learned from the PM’s old boss Dominic Cummings that Boris doesn’t actually believe in pandemics. When he was pinged he refused to isolate. Now he is being forced to isolate in Chequers, wee soul. Everyone knows that Boris is a muppet. However, you would think that even with muppets there would be some sort of learning process. Not with Boris! While people like Scott do their utmost to keep their customers happy by diversifying from fish into scones, Boris seems to just get dafter and dafter.A good slap with a wet fish might bring him to his senses! Large wet fish please Scott!

No fixed abode tel: 07743 861391 Scott’s Fresh Fish FB

Ordinary, Scones

The Old Mill Café

11 July 2021 billpaterson1@me.com 8 Comments

Pat was making her first batch of strawberry jam when we got pinged by our Bathurst correspondents. They have been continuing their scone adventures in New South Wales.

In their own words:

We went for a drive last Sunday to Millthorpe, a small town about 40 km west of us in Bathurst. Normally, on a Sunday it would be choker-block with weekend trippers from Sydney, but with the Greater Sydney lockdown, it was nearly deserted. We managed to get a seat in The Old Mill.

So, of course, we ordered a scone. They looked pretty good in the glass cabinet, and also on the plate when our serving arrived. Quite large, nicely golden brown on top, our mouths watered.

But…….the scones tended to disintegrate as we tried to cut them up, lots of crumbs, nothing you could spread the jam and cream on. On the plus side however, the strawberry jam was delicious, homemade with whole strawberries. On the minus side, it looked like the cream came out of one of those squirty bottle thingies.

Ah well, it does you good to get out occasionally!

Unspreadable scones are unforgivable but it does serve to show the travails of being a dedicated sconey, no matter what country you are in.

Millthorpe was originally called Spring Grove when it was first set up by a convict overseer in 1834. It wasn’t until 1884 with the building of a flour mill that the community, by a very narrow margin, voted to change the name. Aw well, we liked Spring Grove. We should have been there, maybe we could have swung the vote.

Democracy

Anyway that’s democracy! The House of Commons Library Research Group has just found that Scotland gets a very poor deal as a result of being part of the UK. They found that Scotland would be much better off as part of the EU group of small nations. Heyho, tell us something we didn’t already know. We wish we have democracy in the UK it would make such a difference. But, of course, it doesn’t make an iota of difference what Scotland votes for .. on anything!. We have also discovered that the BBC is now only spending a measly 51% of the fees raised in Scotland in Scotland. Oh gosh, we thought that the diabolical poor service provided by the BBC meant that they were spending loads of money here. Don’t tell us it’s all getting spent in England!?

Only hours to go before the Euro Finals where England are playing Italy. If you didn’t realise that you must have been living on the moon for the past month. Again, we are constantly told that the entire country (meaning UK) is behind the England team. What country is that then? The media don’t seem to realise that the UK is not a country, or a nation for that matter. It’s a collection of countries but unfortunately it is run by a a group who, in former times, would have undoubtedly been exported to Australia. We wish England well but are dreading them winning and having to face another twenty years of nonsensical idiotic jingoism and punditry. The Queen wishes them well though she probably thinks it’s the England croquet team.

Pat’s strawberry jam was a resounding success. Now she is pickling them as well. Pickled strawberries, who would have thought? Nice on our nasturtium salads.

Many thanks, once again, to our ever faithful correspondents, what would we do without you?

NSW 2798 tel: +61 2 6366 3188 Old Mill

///pocketbook.wiping.nastily

Scones, Top

Crail Harbour Gallery & Tearoom revisited

4 July 2021 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

Last time we were in the Crail Harbour Gallery & Tearoom was way back in 2018. We hadn’t heard of COVID, Boris was just a joke rather than an elected joke. These were halcyon days! Never mind here we are in 2021 and at least we have the unaccustomed freedom to travel about the country. We are grateful for small mercies such as this. Crail village is picturesque, a favourite among artists. And probably has the most photographed harbour in Scotland. So it’s not entirely surprising that we were drawn back here.

A typical street in Crail — typical Crail street

Much bigger keep please

Last time, we told you the story of the wee boy who had misbehaved back in the 1600s and was thrown in the keep at Balcomie Castle to teach him a lesson. He starved to death because everyone forgot he was there. Tragic but then we wondered who we would like to throw into a keep, The list was so long we decide we would need a bigger keep. Three years later the list has got even bigger. Not only do we have Johnson, Gove, Rees-Mogg and the likes, we now have Cummings, Hancock and most of the DUP, and many more. Much bigger keep please!

View of Crail Harbour — *The Crail Harbour Gallery and Tearoom is to the right of this picture with blue shutters*

We are very pleased to report that the smoked haddock still adorns the Tolbooth weather vane rather than the traditional cockerel … only in Crail! After a few purchases at the Pottery we were ready for some lunch and a scone. The tearoom is still run by artist DS Mackie who fills the space with her own works. Like last time, we elected to sit outside and take in the panoramic views over the Firth of Forth to the distant Isle of May. A short boat trip will take you there. The puffins and razorbills have no fear and you can just sit down beside them. It’s great!

Sacrifice, sacrifice!

We were very well looked after by a gentleman who definitely wasn’t local … probably French we thought judging by the accent, the beret and the string of onions round his neck. Just kidding about the beret … and the onions! Our lunch was excellent and the scone came very well presented. Sitting in the sun thinking about puffins, eating scones helped down by some great coffee wasn’t easy. Honestly, the things we do for our readers! The tearoom isn’t big and does very well to maintain all the COVID rules and regulations. Back in 2018 the tearoom just missed out on our topscone award so we were very happy to rectify that this time around.

In case you’re wondering what we bought at the Pottery, it was just a couple of little wall hanging pots. The plant is the nepeta we bought by chucking money down a chute in Ceres in our previous post. It’s rather nice don’t you think and well worth its 50p cost?

Character

Crail harbour today still supports a few fishing boats but in the past it was at the centre of a bustling trade with Holland and the Low Countries.

A small door in Crail — Folk must have been smaller in the past

Sailing ships would take produce from Crail and return loaded with pantiles as ballast. This gave the East Neuk of Fife its particular character. The orange pantile roofs and the architecture just reek of Dutch influence. That, of course, was when we could trade freely with Europe, something we have just recently lost due to the imbecilic Boris and his merry band of eejits.

Who was first?

The trade with Europe in the 18th century probably gave rise to a ‘nouveau riche’ which in turn resulted in Crail now claiming to have the very first ever golf course in 1786. This may, of course be disputed by neighbouring St Andrews which prides itself as ‘The Home of Golf’. Continuing the sporty theme, last night in the Euros, England saw off Ukraine in some style with a 4-0 win. Great, however, we are dreading the next unbearable week of infantile speculative rambling about the next semi-final game with Denmark. Keep it in England please … we have scones to eat and puffins to think about!

KY10 3SU tel: 01333 451896 Harbour Gallery

PS Also came across this post box while wandering round the village … made in Falkirk!

Ordinary, Scones

The Village Café in Ceres

29 June 2021 billpaterson1@me.com 2 Comments

In 1068, Scotland’s only Royal Saint, Queen Margaret was fleeing to Europe to escape England’s William the Conquerer. She didn’t reckon, however, on her ship being blown off course and landing in Scotland. She probably didn’t reckon on marrying the King of Scotland, Malcolm Canmore, as a result. Having eight children by him, three of which became Kings probably didn’t enter her head either. Not many women give birth to a King, never mind three! But she did! Funny how life can be dictated by totally random events.

Pilgrimage

Margaret, was a good soul, however and, when she wasn’t propagating Kings, was concerned about the difficulties pilgrims encountered trying to get from Edinburgh to St Andrew’s Abbey. to be close to Andrew’s saintly bones.

Message card in Ceres — Notice in Ceres on the pilgrims way

She decided that there should be ferry service established across the river Forth to short circuit an otherwise long and tortuous journey of four to five days. It wouldn’t have entered her head that ten centuries later there would be a railway bridge and two road bridges in exactly the same spot as her ferry. The only thing missing nowadays is the pilgrims but back then they would have been extremely grateful to reach Ceres. The last stopover before the final seven miles to St Andrews itself where they could see the holy relics. There seems to bits of St Andrew scattered all over the world so he must have been a big guy and had twice as many bones as anyone else. We are here as well but at the Village Cafe in Ceres for the scones … a kind of pilgrimage!

Community in action

Actually, we just stopped off in the village because it’s rather beautiful and olde-worldy. Ceres (pronounced ‘series’) has a lovely village green and also hosts the oldest Highland games in Scotland. They’ve been held every year since 1314. When we came on the Village Cafe, of course, we had to visit. What a place! Tiny and nothing fancy but run entirely by the community. There were some very cheery ladies inside who welcomed us like long lost friends. A lovely day so we sat outside and watched the tractors going to and fro. Some of them are gigantic compared to the tractors we used to know as children.

Anyway we were soon sorted with a scone and some tea. All the while we could listen to the happy banter between the ladies and the locals going on inside. When we asked if one of them had baked the scones they said they hadn’t but offered to take us down the street and show us the house of the lady who had? It was that kind of place. We declined and concentrated on our scone. It would have been great if had been a topscone but sadly it just fell short. Never mind we thoroughly enjoyed our visit.

Money down the chute

Later, we were strolling round the village when we came on a wall with plants for sale at the Parish Church. There was a sign saying “Please place money in chute opposite“. Sure enough on the other side of the road there was a chute (a 4” drainage pipe) which dropped about 15 feet into a flower pot in the garden below. We bought a nepeta plant for 50p. Not because we wanted one, we just wanted to put some money going down the chute.

What’s in the news? Nothing … except vastly overpaid football pundits spouting complete nonsense about the England vs Germany game later today. All other news has been cancelled … it could make you weep!

Helpful hint

Did you know that if you place a cross in the shape of the St Andrews cross (that’s an X) on your fire surround it stops witches coming down your chimney? It’s okay, don’t mention it

KY15 5NA. tel: 01334 828560 Village Cafe FB

///graph.giggled.rally

ps The Pedant has been in Kineton in Warwickshire and sent this picture of a K6 telephone box. Unfortunately he couldn’t access the manufacturer’s plate on the back because of nettles. Goodness, you just can’t get correspondents prepared to go that extra mile these days!

Ordinary, Scones

Fernie Castle

26 June 2021 billpaterson1@me.com 5 Comments

Fernie Castle has been around since the middle of the 14th century and has had a pretty chequered history through the years. In 1715 it was even forfeited for its support of Bonnie Prince Charlie in the Jacobite Rebellion. Since 1960, however, it has been a hotel and we’re here for afternoon tea.

First impressions are impressive. A beautiful building surrounded by acres of beautiful grounds. What’s not to like? Well, the owner for a start. In his tartan trews and coiffured accent he bore all the hallmarks of someone who could barely stand the fact that he had to admit riff riff like us into his stately abode. We had just come from another stay at Rufflets (the subject of a previous post) so we knew what a good hotel looks like. Fernie didn’t look like one! There were all sorts of things wrong … understaffed and just a bit grubby for starters. What would our afternoon tea be like?

Broken teeth

We didn’t have long to wait. It was plonked in front of us along with our tea and bubbles. The sandwiches were actually quite good but the scones tasted like they been freshly baked for the Bonnie Prince back in 1745. More akin to a museum exhibit rather than something we were supposed to eat. Between us we ate half of one scone and none of the rather sweaty looking cakes. In our time, as you know, we have eaten some pretty dodgy scones but these ones took the biscuit. We could have broken our teeth on them! This was as far away from a topscone as it’s possible to get.

Not a clue

Presumably all the original artworks had been sold off over time and they had been replaced with rather shoddy looking replacements. Everything just looked tired. As if it was being run by someone who had neither the money or the ability to run a successful hotel. Pity, because it’s a great place with loads of potential.

The Green Lady

No castle worth its salt would be without its own ghost and Fernie Castle is no exception. A young girl whose father disapproved of her lover saught refuge in the west tower. She fell from a top floor window to her death. Her ghost, known as the ‘Green Lady’ has been seen wandering through the bedrooms. We think, however, that she had just partaken of an afternoon tea and had simply lost the will to live.

an atmospheric bar at Fernie — The Keep Bar

The curse

In the nearby village of Letham there have been several sightings of a “big black cat”. Not your ordinary overfed domestic moggie but a full sized panther type creature. They are supposed to be lucky but in some parts of the world a black cat walking across in front of you is deemed unlucky. Never mind, you can reverse the curse. First walk in a circle, then walk backwards across the place it happened, count to 13 and chant a charm or line from the Bible. That should do the trick! See, you thought this blog was just about trivia and scones, you never realised it had useful stuff as well.

Curses curses!

Oh dear, our beloved Secretary of State for Health and Social Care (who would have his job), Matt Hancock, has fallen foul of that age old curse, the office romance. He’s a bit of an Adonis after all? And he seems to have fallen for millionaire mum, Gina Coladangelo thus displaying to same judgement he has exercised during COVID. His job might be on a shaky peg but Boris, given his record, would have a bit a nerve sacking someone for such a dalliance.

KY15 7RU. tel: 01337 810 381 Fernie

Scones, Top

Rhubarb Lime Coffee Shop

16 June 2021 billpaterson1@me.com 4 Comments

Many many months ago, the Laird got in touch to say that the Rhubarb Lime Coffee Shop in the village of Kippen was worthy of investigation. Needless to say, COVID made that impossible until now. The Laird of course is the self-styled Laird of Dumyat (Dum-eye-at), a hill that provides an impressive backdrop to the City of Stirling. As it happens, self-styling in this neck of the woods is a tradition that goes back quite a long way.

Lost dinner

Back in the early 16th century King James V of Scotland (Mary Queen of Scots’ dad) was resident at Stirling Castle. When travelling outwith the castle he usually adopted the more low key guise of “The Guid Man o’ Ballengeich”. One day he dispatched a party of men to hunt for deer at Gartmore. On their return journey they were attacked and relieved of their venison by a band of men led by John Buchanan … the self-styled King of Kippen. When Buchanan was informed the venison was for the King, he said “He may be King of Scotland but I am King of Kippen“. When the men returned empty handed and told James the story he was not a happy bunny.

Lessons

He assembled some men and rode to Buchanan’s palace at Arnprior where he was refused entry. The guard saying that his master was at his dinner and was not to be disturbed. James replied, “Tell your master, the Guid Man o’ Ballengeich humbly requests an audience with the King of Kippen“. Buchanan guessed the identity of the Guid Man and received His Majesty appropriately. They became great friends and thereafter the King of Kippen was always welcomed as a brother sovereign at the Royal Court. We tell you this story because we think it may hold valuable lessons for the Vladimirs, Borises and Joes of this rather fractious world.

Anyway let’s get to the scones. Rhubarb Lime, run by Shona and Greg, is a small place but it packs a lot in. It must be a bit of a hub for the village. Besides being a cafe it also sells a good range of groceries and a great range of mostly Italian wines. My brother had joined us to experience at first hand his first real scone adventure. We decided to sit outside where we could witness village life as it happened. On the opposite side of the street was the butcher’s shop … appropriately named “Skinner of Kippen”. The service was very friendly and we were soon wonderfully sorted with some excellent lunch followed by plain scones … no fruit scones left!

Adventures

Shona had made them earlier in the day so suffice to say, the scones were excellent. The best we have tasted in a long time. Nicely presented with ample clotted cream and raspberry jam. They were just how we like them, lovely and soft with that slightly crunchy exterior. A very easy topscone. Before we left, Pat and I bought some wine. But my brother, still high on adrenalin from the adventure, lost all sense of self control and bought more than a dozen bottles of his favourite Primitivo.

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We were surprised to find such a good range of wine in a pretty wee village like this. But perhaps we shouldn’t have been? Back in 1891 a descendent of the King of Kippen planted a vine which ended up as the biggest in the world covering 460 m²and four large greenhouses. Unfortunately in 1964 it was cut down by yet another descendent so Greg has to source his wine directly from Italy. Apparently cuttings from the original vine (Gros Colman variety) are still flourishing in greenhouses all over the village and the surrounding area, so the old vine lives on.

Will Team Scotland live on in the European Football Championships? That’s the big question! So far they have maintained that age old tradition of losing magnificently … 2-0 against the Czech Republic. At the end of this week Scotland will be confronted by the old enemy, England. We don’t actually care who wins … and we wrote that with a straight face believe it or not? Okay, you don’t!

Traditions need to be maintained. Many thanks to the Laird, both Kings and Rhubarb Lime from the Lord and Lady of Scones!

FK8 3DN tel: 01786 870077 Rhubarb Lime

///brief.reader.blatantly

Ordinary, Scones

Fisher & Donaldson

11 June 2021 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

Have you heard of Jeddart Justice? Originating in the border town of Jedburgh it’s where someone is hanged first, and tried afterwards.

Pastries at Fisher & Donaldson — F&D pastries

Well apparently the good folk of Cupar in Fife once accidentally drowned a man who refused to leave his cell. Rather than cheat him out of a trial they put his body on the stand anyway. Don’t know if he was found guilty or not. We think Boris would love to dish out Jeddart Justice to a host of people but it would probably be frowned upon these days. Anyway, we are in Cupar today, not looking for justice of any kind … just a scone. Fisher & Donaldson seemed like a likely spot.

It’s that time of year! When driving up to Cupar the fields were as green as green could be … almost impossibly green. Apart, of course, from the rape fields which were solid swathes of that impossible chrome yellow. Everything looked wonderfully fresh and vibrant.

In case of confusion

The town of Cupar in Fife should not be confused with that well known song “The Wee Cooper of Fife”. Everyone knows the words.

There was a wee cooper who lived in Fife
Nickety, nockety, noo, noo, noo

At first this doesn’t seem to make any sense however everything becomes clear with the next few lines:

And he ha’ gotten a gentle wife
Hey Willie Wallacky, hey John Dougall
Alane quo rushety, roo, roo, roo.

No messing

Fisher & Donaldson are not exactly new kids on the block. Their bakery has been supplying the local area for over 100 years. It has a very traditional atmosphere and layout though the compartmentalised layout is mainly due to COVID restrictions. When we asked for scones the lady serving us, who had the demeanour of someone who had been closely related to the chap in the flooded cell, wasn’t sure if there were any left. After checking she said there were two, one cheese and one cherry. Fine that was all we wanted. When we asked for cream it prompted a very straight faced reply “No … we don’t do that sort of thing!” Okay, we were only asking!

When they arrived they actually looked rather promising. Pat’s cheese one was good and my cherry one was also very acceptable. All in all everything was fine but no topscones here today … not with that po faced attitude to an innocent cream request. We actually spoke to the lady when we were paying our bill and she turned out to be quite good fun. We must have just caught her in a moment when she was thinking of her drowning relative.

Hickory shafts

We used to go on holiday with the children to Hill of Tarvit in Cupar and had great fun. However, at that time I hadn’t realised that the local Kingarrock nine-hole golf course (founded in 1855) still used hickory shafted clubs. All my clubs have hickory shafts … that’s all there was available when I bought them? My golfing career was very short lived and although everyone laughed at my clubs I certainly could not blame them for my performances.

KY15 5JT tel: 01334 652551 Fisher and Donaldson

///fortnight.focal.neon

You will remember in our last post from Rufflets we visited our Bathurst correspondents family who lived nearby. Well simultaneously we received a note from our correspondents saying they had revisited the Cafe Zestt in Crookwell and were less than impressed … scone arrived 10 minutes after their coffee was finished … unforgivable! More interestingly perhaps they also visited the Scottish Arms Hotel in Bowral and as well as all the usual Scottish paraphanlia there was a K6 telephone box …. made in Falkirk. It had a sort of old-fashioned handset inside, possibly a direct line to Boris, or more likely Nicola. Don’t think Boris would have answered, he is totally preoccupied with sausage wars!

Birthday girl

Remember I had a birthday girl on my hands at Rufflets. Well that was a few days before her actual birthday. On the big day itself friends invited us round to their place for afternoon tea. What a fabulous afternoon that turned out to be.
We sat down in their garden at 2.30 and were still there at 8.30 … that’s how good it was. Home baked scones were the highlight though I was told in no uncertain terms that they were not to be critiqued under any circumstances. But they were definitely topscones so it’s impossible not to.

One of our granddaughters joined us for a time and just as she did so a tooth that had been threatening to come out for days, fell out. More business for the tooth fairy!She knows how to keep her granny happy though. Many thanks L&R for a fabulous afternoon … and evening!

Scones, Top

Rufflets

6 June 2021 billpaterson1@me.com 9 Comments

Oh dear, what do you do when you have a birthday girl on your hands and you are in lockdown? You can’t go out to buy presents, in fact you can’t go anywhere! But, wait a sec! We can now travel to anywhere in Scotland … it’s official. Okay, they would rather you didn’t but I go back to my original quandary. Suffice to say we are here in St Andrews at Rufflets having done what seemed like a massive road trip to get here. We actually drove for more than an hour … first time in living memory! Okay that’s not that long given our combined memories general state of decrepitude. It did seem like a road trip though … quite thrilling! Anyway, we were having a few days roughing it here at Rufflets. Don’t worry it’s not actually that rough.

Jute

Rufflets was built in 1924 by a local jute baron. In fact, nearby Dundee was once the jute capital of the world. Nowadays most people have never heard of the stuff but back in the good old Empire days we pilfered loads of the stuff from impoverished Bangladeshis. Never mind, with a new Royal Yacht on order, Britain will surely rule the waves once again and go around the globe poking its nose in where it’s not wanted. Or maybe it’s just for Boris and his extensive family to go on holiday with the Rees Moggs? As long as the scones are as good as they were on Britannia we don’t mind,

Rejuvenation

When Rufflets was a private home it must have been magnificent in its ten acres of gardens but since 1952 it has been a hotel and run by the same family ever since.

Pat in the garden at Rufflets Hotel — She didn’t fall in

After all this time in lockdown you can’t beat a few days of pampering and wandering round these beautiful grounds to feel rejuvenated … like COVID had never actually happened. Having to wear a mask when moving around inside the hotel was the only reminder.

We spent a day going round St Andrews. It’s a lovely place but my goodness we hadn’t seen so many people in a long long time. It was busy, busy, busy! Scotland is now in Level One which means that things are almost back to normal but rules about masks and social distancing still apply. Overall, however, the atmosphere is much more relaxed than it’s been for a long time.

Rather than have a scone in town we headed back to Rufflets to see what their scones were like. And, of course, you would also like to know as well, wouldn’t you!

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At last, Scottish jam

When the weather is like it is, where better to do some intensive sconology but on the Rufflets terrace. Unsurprisingly perhaps the service was impeccable. We didn’t think it appropriate to ask for cream and sure enough the scones arrived with everything a discerning sconologist would expect. Starched and ironed linen napkins, a bowl of clotted cream and Galloway Lodge jam from Gatehouse-of-Fleet. What’s not to like?The scones themselves were crunchy on the outside and soft in the middle, just the way we like them. Again, unsurprisingly we gave them a topscone.

Sitting here eating beautiful scones in the beautiful sunshine on a beautiful terrace in a beautiful garden with a beautiful girl, one felt slightly detached from the real world. It’s okay now though … we’re back!

KY16 9TX tel: 01334 472594 Rufflets Hotel

///earth.agreement.trappings

PS: You all know our Australian Bathurst correspondents by now. Together with the New South Welshman they have kept us abreast of sconological events down under for the past couple of years. When it has been difficult to go on scone adventures in the UK they have provided us with invaluable additional posts. However, you probably don’t know that part of their family lives here in Scotland.

The past couple of years have been particularly difficult for them since they have been unable to visit their grandchildren due to COVID. Their daughter lives only a mile or so away from Rufflets with her husband and two daughters. We hadn’t met them before but decided to just barge in and introduce ourselves. What an absolute pleasure that turned out to be! They are the warmest kindest people … obviously something to do with the stock they come from! I even had my first post-lockdown pint of Guinness in the Tavern at Strathkinness (pronounced Strathkinis I was reliably informed by a chap at the bar).

Wishful thinking

Anyway our stay at Rufflets has come to an end. We have emerged back into the real world to find that the G7 have found a way to get large multinationals to pay their fair share of tax. After years of saying its couldn’t be done it only took a couple of hours over dinner to get it sorted. Brilliant, maybe if the G7 had a scone on the terrace here at Rufflets they could sort out a whole lot more pressing global problems?

The Chamberlain

Shallow or shallow

The power of love

Afghanistan

The swing

Duty calls.

Design over substance

World records

Borders

Scones to your door

Pingdemic

In their own words:

Democracy

Much bigger keep please

Sacrifice, sacrifice!

Character

Who was first?

Pilgrimage

Community in action

Money down the chute

Helpful hint

Not a clue

The Green Lady

The curse

Curses curses!

Lost dinner

Lessons

Adventures

In case of confusion

No messing

Hickory shafts

Birthday girl

Jute

Rejuvenation

At last, Scottish jam

Wishful thinking

by Bill and Pat Paterson and is about finding good scones throughout the world, with a little bit of politics