Lochgreen House

24 February 2025 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

Sometimes, as they say in Northern Ireland, we take “a fit of the head staggers” and do things for no apparent reason. Today is one such day.

Pat on the beach at Troon — A day on the beach … pity about the gale force winds

A stormy night in Troon on the Ayrshire coast was to be our “no apparent reason”. However, we weren’t actually staying here at the Lochgreen House Hotel but along the road at Piersland House. Let us explain!

Piersland House is a beautiful hotel with everything you could possibly want. Beautiful architecture, lavish furnishings, open log fires, every variety of Johnnie Walker whisky … what more could you wish for? A Troon scone, that’s what! Too much for Piersland, they had everything apart from scones! Mon dieu, how could we have chosen a place that can’t produce a scone? It beggars belief! The solution, of course, in our quest was to go a few hundred yards along the road to Lochgreen House where there was a great big welcome and scones a plenty.

Lochgreen House is owned by Bill Costley, a well known and celebrated figure in these parts. Owning several other local hotels he has, over the years, raised the hospitality levels in Ayrshire significantly. He has spent a lot of money making Lochgreen House the five-star venue it is today. Not so long ago, friends of ours took over the entire place for their wedding, so we were aware of Lochgreen House through them.

Hybrid

We were taken to a table by the window were we could look out over the garden which, unfortunately, was being battered to within an inch of its life by the storm. Inside, however, all was cool, calm and collected. It wasn’t long before our fruit scones arrived. They came warm and for some reason sliced in half. There was a jar of jam and some clotted cream topped with a variety of berries. All very nice except the scones were a bit odd. Not how we would normally expect a scone to be. Kind of like a hybrid cross between a scone and a muffin … a scoffin? Although enjoyable enough, unfortunately this version of a scone didn’t hit the mark for a topscone award.

The service and surroundings were excellent, however, Scones aside, Lochgreen House is fabulous and well worthy of a visit.

Ferries and trains

On our way back to Piersland House we took a little detour to Troon harbour where ferry services run to the Isle of Arran. We arrived just as the ferry was leaving.

Glen Sannox ferry leaving Troon — CalMacs newest ferry, the Glen Sannox leaving Troon on its way to Arran. The Westminster government and the media are fond of lambasting the Scottish government on the £150 million overspend on the Glen Sannox whilst conveniently forgetting the £100 billion spend on the ill fated HS2 high speed rail with still nothing to show for it.

Celebrated?

The Ayrshire coast is a golfing hotspot, Troon is home to seven courses including Royal Troon, which regularly hosts the Open Championship. As we said earlier, for good reason, Bill Costley is a well known and celebrated figure in these parts. Donald Trump, who owns nearby Turnberry golf course is also well known though probably not so celebrated. His ownership has seen the course removed from the list of potential venues for the Open. If only that was the worst of his shortcomings.

Ayrshire is a fantastic part of Scotland which sadly we don’t pay enough attention to. Our internal compasses always tend to point north. Note to self … more Ayrshire scones!

KA10 7EN tel: 01292 313343. Lochgreen

///steady.insurers.lollipop

Scones, topweird, weird

Compass Café

19 February 2025 billpaterson1@me.com 8 Comments

We know this flies in the face of logic but today we are In Perth with some whisky we are taking to auction. “Why don’t you just drink it?” we hear you cry. Well, if it was ours, that’s exactly what would happen, but it’s not. We’re delivering it to Perth’s Whisky Auctioneer on behalf of a friend. To make things more exciting our satnav proudly announced “you have arrived at your destination” when we clearly hadn’t. We were still on the A9 Perth bypass but our destination was actually in the Inveralmond Industrial Estate. With the satnav switched off we entered what turned out to be a vast network of roads and industrial units. After several unsuccessful attempts, eventually we did actually reach our destination. Mission accomplished we headed for home but, lo and behold, before we had even left the estate we spotted the Compass Café.
As you can see from the title photograph, the Compass Café is part of the Tiso Outdoor Experience.

Big news

Dougal Haston's Everest suit — On display, an eiderdown suit used by Dougal Haston on the 1972 attempt on Everest. The overboots belonged to Hamish MacInness

Tiso is a name that featured prominently in my youth. Every weekend involved hitch hiking to Glencoe so that me and my companions could do precarious things on vertical rock faces. It was amazing and the sense of freedom it gave us was unbelievable. Back then in the 60s we knew everyone in the glen as well as our weekender friends who would hitch hike up from Glasgow. You could bump into your mountaineering heroes like Hamish MacInness, Dougal Haston almost every day. However, while we had ambitions on some tricky local routes they had bigger fish to fry. Notably a direttissima on the north face of the Eiger in 1966 and, of course, Everest itself. On the 1972 assault on the SW ascent of Everest, Graham Tiso got trapped in a storm and spent four days alone, cut off from the rest of his party, Climbing was a tiny activity in those days but all these “risky” adventures were controversial and consequently became big news stories. The media couldn’t get enough of them.

Tiso original

Tiso’s original shop was in Edinburgh. It was tiny but back then there wasn’t that much available to buy. In his shop I spent what seemed like an absolute fortune on my boots (La Sportiva, Himalayas) and a Tiso designed rucksack that you could sleep in.

View of Tizo Outdoor shop — Just part of the Tiso shop. Amazing how much stuff you need to go outside these days

Most of our climbing gear was collected from rock faces where other, presumably more affluent climbers, either couldn’t be bothered or were unable to retrieve. Those were the days!

Unfortunately, many of our climbing heroes died pursuing their passion. Ironically, Haston died, aged 33, in a skiing accident but is still a legend in Scottish climbing circles.

A sign at the Compass Café in Perth — For some reason this sign caught my attention

As you all know, I have little use for climbing gear nowadays. And that’s just as well because it appears I still can barely afford it. Some mountain bikes in the store cost £5000 and looked ferociously complicated. The Compass Café involved an ascent to the upper floor and was as much climbing as I could manage today.

Enthusiasm

The café is big and has a wide range of produce on offer. We were attended to by a wonderfully happy girl who was probably Polish. She said she only had five “cheese” and one “wild berry” scone left. Covered in icing, the wild berry one looked like a bit of an extravagant concoction. However, our girl told us with great delight that they were absolutely scrumptious. “when they come out of the oven in the morning … ooo, they are warm and “. her voice drifted off as she gave a little ecstatic wiggle. Seldom have we been sold a scone with such irrepressible passion.

When she brought it to our table she also brought two plates so we could share. We could tell she was genuinely excited for us to try her wild berry scone. She wasn’t wrong! Readers know how we like our scones … not too big with a crunchy exterior and a soft middle. Well this was the complete opposite but it was delicious. It was quite big and had loads of fruit which made it moist and unctuous. The icing covering made it sticky and messy to eat. The butter and jam were probably superfluous but we did use the jam. A fruit overload! Not a traditional topscone but definitely a top weird scone.

Things change

The climbing world has changed drastically since we were hanging out in Glencoe every weekend. The glen that we regarded as “our own” is now a huge tourist attraction due to its scenic beauty and, of course, the site of the famous Massacre of 1692. The National Trust for Scotland does its best to maintain the glen as near as possible to its original state in spite of the pressure from tourism.

Weird

To go with our “weird scone” award we should probably give another “weird” award for the Leader of the Free World. In his new role as spokesman for President Putin he has announced that the war is all Ukraine’s fault. Ukraine must be thinking “with friends like this who needs enemies?“

PH1 3EE tel: 01738 449041 Compass Café

///dragonfly.writers.refills

Scones, Top

Lion and Unicorn

13 February 2025 billpaterson1@me.com 5 Comments

We are a little late with this post. You should have got it on Wednesday because that’s when we were last at the Lion and Unicorn Inn in the village of Thornhill near Stirling. But thereby hangs a tale … a sconological tale.

Statues at the Lion and Unicorn Inn, Thornhill — The lion is the national animal of England, and the unicorn is Scotland’s. It is a well known fact that a unicorn is a symbol of innocence and the only creature that can defeat a lion.

We had been here several weeks before and were delighted to note “scones” on the menu. When we asked for them, however, we were told they didn’t have any. Apparently, they were that rare breed, only available on Wednesdays and Thursdays. The next time we were here was when we posted from The Winnock when trying to find the MacGregor Monument. It was a Thursday, so thought we would try our luck. Still no scones but we did glean a little more information. They did a coffee morning “for the village” on Wednesday mornings. This was becoming a challenge!

So it was that on this Wednesday morning we thought we should phone ahead to check if the scones were only for “the village” or whether outsider riff riff such as ourselves could also partake. “Of course, no problem“, we were told.

Once there were eight pubs in the village but this is the only one left … a sign of the times. The Lion and Unicorn has been serving fine food, ales and presumably scones since 1635 … all we had to do was engage with one! We set off on the thirty minute drive to Thornhill with steely determination and a keen sense of anticipation. Would it be third time lucky?

Things I don’t know

A grandson of John Napier, inventor of logarithms, owned land here at one time. I mention this simply because I must have been off school the day they explained their importance. I never “got it”! In spite of years spent carrying a little book of sines, cosines and tangents around in my school bag, my entire career passed without the need for any of them. I’ve also discovered something else to further demonstrate the depth of my ignorance … Shetland cows. A farm at Thornhill breeds Shetland cows. Shetland ponies are famous but Shetland cows? Apparently, they are small, hardy and ideally suited to living in the special environment of Flanders Moss on the edge of the village. Anyway I could write a very hefty tome on things I don’t know so let’s return to more familiar territory … scones!

When we arrived we were shown to a table for two. We could easily see what they meant by a “coffee morning for the village“. From the babble of excited chatter emanating from a long table across from us it was pretty obvious what was going on. The large plate of scones was also a give away.Our host, the wonderful Fiona, remembered us. Presumably as the weird folk who were always asking about scones. We obviously made and impression! She asked if we would like to join the others at the long table. Initially we felt we would be intruding but suffice to say another couple of chairs were found and we were warmly welcomed. It was almost as if we were “villagers”! What a super friendly and interesting bunch of sconeys.

Coincidence

Unbelievably, one of the group, Janet, used to work alongside my late uncle in nearby Aberfoyle many years ago. She knew my cousins very well. Apart from ourselves, Janet was the only “outsider” there. To say that we thoroughly enjoyed meeting these people and joining their coffee morning would be a mighty understatement. They made our day! A hundred years ago a local newspaper wrote that Thornhill was “the pleasantest of pleasant villages“. We can vouch for that still being the case. The self-effacing Fiona had made the scones earlier that morning. When she discovered that her scones were to be “judged” she explained that the batteries on her scales had given up. She had had to guess at the quantities for the recipe.

She needn’t have worried, they were beautifully presented and easy topscones. Later, we discovered from our new found friends that her batteries had packed up months ago. Well done Fiona for making these delicious scones by pure force of habit and for being so welcoming. For us it was third time very lucky

Eraly photograph of the Lion and Unicorn — Victorian photo of the Lion and Unicorn. Folks arriving for a village coffee morning?

As complete strangers it was heartwarming to be welcomed into what seems like a village tradition. When we returned home and saw Musk prancing around the Oval Office with his son Lil X on his shoulders it truly looked like the inmates had taken over the asylum. Take us back to the sanity of the Lion and Unicorn where the cares of the world were being discussed in a much more civilised fashion.

FK8 3PJ tel: 01786 850204 Lion & Unicorn Inn

///toasters.gearbox.strain

Ordinary, Scones

The Winnock

10 February 2025 billpaterson1@me.com 13 Comments

You have got to be careful when it comes to dealing with MacGregors. Their reputation as being complete scoundrels even led to King James VI proscribing the name “MacGregor”, the utterance of which was punishable by death. No messing! In spite of all that, however, we have many MacGregor friends and think that they’re actually quite nice. Today we are in the village of Drymen at The Winnock Hotel in the heart of MacGregor country but we didn’t set out to come here.

We actually set out to look for the mysterious MacGregor Monument. Why mysterious? Well, no one seems to be quite sure exactly who built it or why. It’s falling to bits due to neglect and, in spite of it being almost seventy feet tall, it’s nigh on impossible to find. A challenge!

Fine features

Once we had done battle with a rather rude woman who seemed to object to our presence on planet earth, climbed several fences and negotiated some thick undergrowth … voila! Its’ a big monument so you would think it would stick out like a sore thumb but no, it’s so enveloped in trees it only appears when you are just a few feet away. Quite magnificent in its own way but sadly neglected. Covered in moss with several of its finer features having fallen to the ground.

View of the Macgregor Monument — The MacGregor Monument. The bottom half is in the shape of an oak tree,, symbol of the MacGregor family who once owned the estate. In the photo above, devilish technology has been utilised to clear the trees so that it can be seen.

Outcasts

Mission accomplished and feeling rather pleased with ourselves we retraced our steps back to our car. It was a nice day so we decided to take the scenic route home, hence we ended up here at the Winnock Hotel. It’s an old coaching inn which has been catering to weary passersby for almost three hundred years. In the nice lounge area there were no free tables so we were ushered through to a bar area where we were entirely on our own. We felt a little bit like outcast MacGregors.

Back in the day, MacGregor men were hunted ruthlessly in what was essentially state sponsored genocide. Unfortunately, something we are not unfamiliar with today. Even today the Chief of the MacGregor Clan is known rather romantically as the Chieftain of the Children of the Mist. Maybe a reference to MacGregors having to hide out on higher ground.

Great value

Somewhat confusingly, at the Winnock we were told that if we ordered “a scone” we would get two. Rather than risk ending up with four scones we ordered some coffee and “a scone”. Sure enough the scone came with a partner and plenty of butter, jam and cream. They had been warmed which was nice but overall our experience here wasn’t great. Maybe we just got them on a bad day. The scones were nice enough but our experience as outcast MacGregors just didn’t do it for us. On the plus side, however, when we went to settle our bill it came to the grand total of £5. Great value for two coffees and two scones. WARNING: readers contemplating staying here should perhaps avoid rooms 38 and 39. They’re haunted by ghosts of the 16th century witch trails. Don’t say you weren’t told!

G63 0BL tel: 01360 660245 The Winnock Hotel

///freshen.opponent.fearfully

ps: Oddly enough it is MacGregors who are behind our favourite coffee company … Henry’s. Their Cat’s Pyjamas and Blow Your Socks Off brands are second to none. On our return to Falkirk we were invited to their Global HQ for coffee … and scones! Although some might think it a typical MacGregor wheeze and brazen attempt to gain a topscone award by the back door, how could we refuse? Like their coffee, the presentation, service and hospitality were second to none. We really appreciated seeing behind the scenes at Henry’s Coffee Company but, of course, they hadn’t baked the scones themselves and it wasn’t one that our readers could access. No topscone but a huge thank you!

Ordinary, Scones

Castle View

2 February 2025 billpaterson1@me.com 5 Comments

Today we are more pleased than we ought to be about being here at the Castle View Restaurant in Menstrie. Why? For many years we have passed along the road at the foot of the Ochil hills and looked up at Broomhall Castle and wondered what it was all about. It never seemed to be anything that you could actually visit. But today we are visiting!The building has had a fairly colourful and chequered history.

Rumours don’t need facts

Built in 1874 it was originally called Broom Hall, a tribute to the blaze of yellow broom on the hillside that provides a backdrop in the Spring. As the private home of a wealthy mill owner its demise reflected the decline of the woollen industry.. By 1906 it had became an Italian Riding School and then a boys boarding school. In 1940 it went on fire. because the headmaster was German it was rumoured that the fire was set deliberately to act as a guide for the Luftwaffe bombing Clydebank. The fact that there was no bombing in Scotland at that time did not seem to affect the enthusiasm behind the rumours.

After the war the ruins were sold on to various owners who didn’t do anything with them. A delight for the local children who used it as a very scary playground. Following a spell as a nursing home, in 2003, approval was given for use as a hotel. Recently they’ve set up the Castle View Restaurant and that’s why we’re here.

Sam’s the man

He introduced himself and explained that the Castle View venture is very much his baby. For the duration of our visit Sam seemed to single handedly run the place, like a butterfly flitting round the tables talking to everyone at the same time. He was busy busy but amazingly he was successful, everyone was happy. A maestro of hospitality! Our scones were delicious and nicely presented with jam and a little bowl of cream. This was very near to a topscone but not quite. The place needs a bit more investment but maybe that will come in time.

Size matters

Some readers might think we are “picky” but the chandeliers were a little on the small side. In our opinion chandeliers should be the same size or bigger than the ceiling rose above them. Okay you all think we are “picky”! Suffice to say there is room for improvement with the decor.

A lounge at Broomhall Castle — one of the lounges

Unbelievable

But there is much more room for improvement elsewhere. Trump’s comments that the Reagan airport plane crash was caused by misfits in air traffic control was moronic even by his standards. To be even more outlandish he claimed to know this because he had “common sense”? Maybe we should send Sam over to help him with his interpersonal skills?

FK11 7EA tel: 01259 928292 Castle View Restaurant

///meant.processes.sting

Ordinary, Scones

food@34a

22 January 2025 billpaterson1@me.com 5 Comments

We’ve been to food@34a before. Many of you will be aware that from time to time we go to the Hippodrome cinema in Bo’ness. Although it’s the oldest cinema in Scotland that’s not what takes us there. Rather it’s its proximity to our garage. Whenever we have a problem we

External view of the Hippodrome Cinema — The Hippodrome cinema

drop the car off and they take us to the cinema and pick us up when the film has finished and the car is fixed. It’s a great arrangement which has been going a few years now. Today’s film was “Went The Day Well” an old black and white film from 1942.

Problems

A picture at food@34a in Bo'ness — A picture at food@34a

We’d love to tell you how good it was. However, as we sat there with everyone else wondering why the movie was so late in starting a young lass appeared in front of the screen to inform us there was a technical problem. No showing today! Aargh! Our flabber was well and truly gasted! What to do now? The car wouldn’t be ready for at least a couple of hours

It was a nice day so we went for a walk round the old Bo’ness harbour. Bo’ness used to be called Barrowstouness but in the Great Letter Shortage of 1652 they were forced to shorten it. We’re pretty sure if Donald Trump came away with that sort of nonsense at least half of America would believe it. Anyway, these days the harbour is a mere shadow of its former self. Gone are the days when this was a great trading port. It even had its own Customs House. Eventually we headed back into town past the Steam Railway Museum. You may remember our post in 2019 from one of their steam trains when the Einsteinian like Theory of Sconativity was developed.

When we arrived at food@34a it was very busy and we were fortunate to get the last available table. By this time it was almost lunchtime but we decided on their small breakfast. Goodness knows what their big breakfast is like because the small one with bacon, egg, link suasage, square sausage, tattie scone, beans and two slices of toast was more than enough for us. After all that, did we need a scone? Definitely not, but we had one anyway, to share. They didn’t have cream but when it arrived the butter looked more like cream than butter. The service was great and without asking they brought two plates and two knives so that we could share. Unfortunately the scone was too big and although nice enough there was no way we could finish it.

The Donald has now been installed as the 47th President of the USA in a Disneyesque ceremony. His inaugural speech was notable for being completely devoid of anything approaching grace. He sees his task for the next four years as making the richest country in the world even richer and to hell with everyone else. The fact that inequality is at the root of most of the world’s and the US’s problems seems to have escaped him. If. on the other hand, by the time you receive this post he has resolved the problems of the Middle East and Ukraine, like he said he would, then we take it all back.

When we last posted from food@34a in 2023 our then PM, Rishi Sunak, had just appointed an ethics adviser to help him differentiate between right and wrong. Might be an idea for the new US administration?

Even though we didn’t see our movie “Well The Day Went” our day went well. The walk was really enjoyable and when we finished at food@34a the garage delivered us our car … fab!

EH51 0EA tel: 07380 600235 food@34aFB

///reservoir.skill.gobbles

Ordinary, Scones

Lobster Pot

18 January 2025 billpaterson1@me.com 5 Comments

We don’t understand why it’s been about five years since we last reported from the Lobster Pot in Blackness on Sea. It’s only a twenty minute drive and with its lighthearted approach to life and its cornucopia of artefacts. It’s always a joy to visit and it even has the village shop . We must do it more often?

There’s a sign on the way into the pub which boldly says “KEEP SCOTLAND WEIRD” and the interior decor of the place certainly does its best to maintain that ethos. There’s mermaids, figureheads, ropes and pulleys everywhere. It’s definitely weird but in a nice way. The walls and ceilings are covered in paintings and items, mostly with a nautical theme. If you have the time to look at everything you can discover a lot of the local history.

For a small village of less than one hundred inhabitants it definitely punches above its weight.

Blackness Castle, built in 1440 and known as “the ship that never sailed” because from the seaward side it looks like a huge battleship … it proved an effective deterrent to German U-Boats

The Duchess

As well the Lobster Pot it boasts an Outlander Castle, sandy beaches, a promenade, a pier, a sailing club and even a naturist swimming group.

A picture at the Lobster Pot — The swimming group may have been started by the Duchess of Argyle judging by this picture!

Not only this but now the pub has set up a distillery next door … the Blackness Bay distillery. What more could you ask for? It’s tiny and hasn’t been going long enough to produce whisky but it does do an interesting range of Blackness Bay rums. When they do produce whisky in a couple of years it will be called “Mary Queen of Scotch”. It’s never going to compete with the Johnnie Walkers of this world but that’s not the point. It will be fun and maybe a bit weird. But while we’re waiting they have a new make spirit called “Virgin Mary”. And as if all that wasn’t enough they do scones as well!

After a walk along the beach we decided some lunch was required. I had a sandwich full of crab, prawns and lobster. When I say full, I mean FULL! Not easy to eat neatly. It came with a salad and a tin cup full of delicious chips. They didn’t have cream so the scone, when it arrived, just had butter and jam and unfortunately none of it was local. The scone wasn’t easy to eat neatly either. Because it was quite warm the butter melted and then the scone tended to fall apart. Nowhere near a topscone but it didn’t detract from a really enjoyable visit.

Futility of life

The pub has held a poetry competition. According to the website “The older locals gather with the landlord to quietly contemplate the futility of human existence without as much as a poem to tell future generations of the glory that once was Blackness on Sea“. The rules stated that it had to mention the pub and the village though not necessarily in complimentary terms. A £1000 prize for the winning entry meant there were 270 entries. The winning submission by Arran Potts was called “Come Away In“.

Sage advice

With the Donald getting his feet under the desk in the Oval Office again on Monday this sign seemed like apt advice for the rest of the world.

And another sign in the garden of the Lobster Pot.

EH49 7NL tel: 01506 830086 Lobster Pot

///work.deflection.limelight

ps; last time we were here we asked for the meaning behind this diorama. So far no one was brave enough to offer one.

A diorama at the Lobster Pot — It contains a fisherman pointing at a cooked lobster on top of a creel, five bottles of Guinness, a terrier dog wearing wellington boots and a large snake wound around a naked lady.

If there is some deep meaning in this allegory then hopefully some reader might decipher it? No prize but huge kudos.

Ordinary, Scones

Smiddy Farm Shop

13 January 2025 billpaterson1@me.com 5 Comments

We all know people who could start a fight in an empty room, don’t we? But do you know folk who could do that over a scone at the Smiddy Farm Shop? But more of that later.

We come here quite a lot because we pass it on our way to other places. It’s strategically located at a fork in the road. Blair Drummond Estate runs the Smiddy and a lot of the produce comes from its own farms.

Life and limb

Attentive readers will, of course, remember that a couple of years back we also reported from here on banana and chocolate scones. On that ocassion we were just doing some shopping – Pat likes the milk that comes from the the Wee Isle Dairy on the Isle of Gigha. At the checkout we noticed packets of banana and chocolate scones. In the interests of the further education of our readers we, of course, risked life and limb and tried them out at home. The verdict was surprisingly quite favourable.

Extra super attentive readers will remember our initial visit to this café back in October 2016. It had opened its doors for the first time just 75 minutes before we arrived. Unsurprisingly there were some teething problems but we could see huge potential. The scones on that occasion were nice with lots of fruit but there was no cream and we judged them to be just a bit too big.

Our visit today proved that the potential had indeed been realised. It was very busy and we were fortunate to get the last available table. The scone display cabinet, however, was bereft of scones … just a few sad crumbs. When we asked they simply told us that if there were none in the cabinet they had all gone. Disheartened, we looked at the menu to see if any thing else tickled our fancy. Lo and behold, on the menu they had “afternoon treat with mini scones“. When we asked if we could just have the mini scones our server steadfastly informed us “you only get them with the afternoon treat!!”

Now we weren’t exactly spoiling for a fight but we did question the logic. If they had mini scones surely we could have them! Especially since they’d run out of proper scones? Eventually she relented and said she would go and ask. Happily the response was “no problem!” We ordered two mini fruit scones with jam and cream and some of our favourite Henry’s coffee.

Awkward customers

We were happy when they arrived because they were just ever so slightly smaller than how we like them … success! No cream, however, so we had to remind her. There was only a couple of bites in each scone so there was no point in starting without it. Five minutes later and still without cream we had go and find her. She had forgotten again! She scurried off to get some, no doubt muttering under her breath “what is it with these mad scone people?“. Eventually everything was assembled. The scones were really nice but with all things considered there wasn’t to be a topscone today. To be fair, our server was very busy and in the circumstances handled us awkward customers extremely well … no blows were exchanged.

The 47th

Donald Trump still has a week to go before being sworn in as the 47th President of the USA. However, trouble is brewing already. Amongst his stated ambitions is to take over Greenland … by force if necessary! Greenland is resource rich and strategically placed on Russia’s main shipping route to the Atlantic. Scotland is also resource rich and strategically placed on Russia’s main shipping route to the Atlantic. Will we be next? He can maybe take Greenland but he’ll be in for a shock if he tries it on with Scotland! We’re permanently angry and we’ve got claymores!

FK9 4UY tel: 01786 235024 The Smiddy

///keen.collected.bugs

Ordinary, Scones

Café 1496

7 January 2025 billpaterson1@me.com 6 Comments

Today we’re in Forres on the Moray coast at Café 1496. With its sheltered microclimate and abundant golden beaches, the Moray coast is sometimes known as the Riviera of the North. January, however, is not a month to be lying on any Scottish beach. but ideal for partaking of coffee and scones.

Forres has been around for a while. King David 1 made it one of Scotland’s earliest Royal Burghs in 1150. Presumably the burgh incurred someone’s displeasure because it lost its Royal status in 1312. However, in 1496 along comes good old King James IV to elevate it once again to its former Royal glory. The town was allowed to have a weekly market and an eight day fair as well as a café commemorating the event.

Busy busy

Café 1496 prides itself on its relaxed atmosphere … “come in, relax and stay as long as you want, there’s no hurry“. Ironically that philosophy makes it very busy and even a little frantic for the staff. We were fortunate to get the last table available while they were turning other people away. It was busy busy!

Nevertheless, they soon had us sorted with a fruit scone and some coffee. Our scones turned out to be pleasant enough though we felt they were just a teeny bit doughy. Presentation was a bit basic as well so, unfortunately, no topscone.

We say ‘unfortunately” because we like what they are trying to do here. They make a real commitement to the community. This string of clothes pegs hanging in the window indicates the kindness of their customers.

Payment pegs at Café 1496 — You can ask for a £2.50 peg to be added to your bill. Folks who are feeling the pinch can ask for their coffee to be paid for by peg. Left over pegs are donated to local charities.

Forkbeard

On the outskirts of Forres stands the Pictish, Sueno’s Stone. It’s important because there’s no written account of the Picts, only stone carvings. However, this one as well as being shrouded in a gigantic glass box is also shrouded in mystery. We do know however that it dates to the 9th century, is 21 feet tall. weighs eleven tons and came from a quarry more than ten miles away.

It’s named after Danish Viking King Sweyn Forkbeard even though there is no evidence that he ever came anywhere near Forres. But once things are named it becomes tricky to change. Whoever placed it here went to a lot of trouble so it seems only fitting that it should now be protected in this way. Experts seem unable to agree on what its intricate carvings mean. Theories abound! There are several battle scenes with many decapitations so we think it tells us quite a lot. Namely, when you look at the world today we have not advanced very much and we certainly don’t learn anything along the way. Of all the theories, we like the one that in Shakespear’s Macbeth the three witches met here and their souls are forever trapped within the stone. Impossible and really silly but some people will believe anything.

Village idiot

The richest man in the world falls into that category. He behaves like a kid who has just discovered that his gun fires actual bullets. He’s spraying them around left right and centre … great fun! The potential for harm, of course, is huge. For a supposedly intelligent man he does a surprisingly convincing impression of the village idiot. Would the Picts have bothered carving anything about him? We doubt it.

IV36 1AE Café 1496 TA

///hangs.regularly.amaze

Scones, Top

Dowans Hotel

4 January 2025 billpaterson1@me.com 16 Comments

A happy and healthy 2025 to one and all. We hope you will stay with us for another year of scone adventures.

2024 was notable for many things; Trump getting reelected, the passing of Jimmy Carter, Polestar producing the first car with no rear window. Fine, but all fairly inconsequential when you consider that we reviewed more than sixty scones. Disasterously, however, we also reported that our long standing benchmark scone at Fonab Castle had slipped off the top of the pile. Dilemma! Of course, like true sconeys, we gathered ourselves together, brushed ourselves down and set about the search for a replacement. At Dowans Hotel here in Aberlour we may have already found the answer … hallelujah!

Coincidental

We had decided to stay at Dowans for a few days. The fact that the Aberlour distillery was just over the garden wall or that you could see the Macallan distillery from the front door, or that the GlenAllachie distillery was just a short walk away was purely coincidental.

Whisky snug at Dowans Hotel — Over 500 on offer in the Whisky Snug at Dowans

Dowans has had a varied life since 1888 when it was built as the family home for the owner of nearby Cardhu distillery. During WWII it was used by the military before becoming an orphanage in the 1950s. It first became a hotel in the 1960s before being taken over by the current owners, the Murray family, in 2012. The family are heavily involved in the day to day running and have, over the years, turned it into the elegant place it is today.

Just because we are in Strathspey with its 53 distilleries, don’t run away with the idea that they only produce whisky in these parts, As Dowans was being built in the village, the global phenomenon of Walker’s Shortbread was also just starting out in Aberlour. Okay, coincidentally it just so happens that shortbread is the perfect accompaniment to whisky. For many, a glass of whisky and a piece of shortbread is what makes life worth living. Shortbread and whisky is all very well but what about the scones we hear you cry?

M Bar at Dowans Hotel — At a time when many pubs are experiencing a Guiness shortage there was no problem in MBar at Dowans

Dancing

Okay, hostess with the mostest, Lauren, had assured us we could have scones any time we liked. It wouldn’t be any trouble. Before that, however, we took a short drive through the Macallan Estate towards Keith and came on the hamlet of Maggieknockater. Apparently many locals say they come from other nearby villages rather than face the laughter that revealing their true origins engenders. There was once a famous beekeeper here that gave rise to a Scottish Country dance, the Bees of Maggieknockater. Only on allaboutthescones.com can readers obtain such enlightenment.

A cottage in Aberlour — The local cottages all have beautiful stonework

Anyway, today was a day when the temperatures were going to struggle to rise above freezing. The idea of scones in front of the fire was particularly appealing. True to her word, Lauren soon had us enjoying some freshly made scones. They were beautifully presented with lovely dishes of jam and cream and crisp white linen napkins. Being freshly baked they were wonderfully warm and had the exact crunchy exterior and soft centre that we enjoy so much. This was one of the easiest topscones we have ever reviewed. A worthy contender for that coveted “best scone in the world” title.

How’s that for a start to the New Year?

AB38 9LS tel: 01340 871488 The Dowans Hotel

///realm.available.mouths

Hybrid

Ferries and trains

Celebrated?

Big news

Tiso original

Enthusiasm

Things change

Weird

Things I don’t know

Coincidence

Fine features

Outcasts

Great value

Rumours don’t need facts

Sam’s the man

Size matters

Unbelievable

Problems

The Duchess

Futility of life

Sage advice

Life and limb

Awkward customers

The 47th

Busy busy

Forkbeard

Village idiot

Coincidental

Dancing

How’s that for a start to the New Year?

by Bill and Pat Paterson and is about finding good scones throughout the world, with a little bit of politics