There is something vaguely sinful about going to the cinema at 10.30 in the morning. Doubly so on a lovely sunny day like this. It just seems wrong. Worth it though because we saw A Star Is Born starring Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga. When our 14 year old great-niece was over here on holiday we used to call her the ‘small weird Canadian’. Her two greatest heros, at that time, were Mary Queen of Scots and Lady Gaga! We always understood the Mary bit but now we understand the Gaga bit as well. Gaga was absolutely superb in a role that almost seemed tailor-made for her. Maybe it was. The ending is sad but as everyone filed out in silence recovery was fairly rapid as we suddenly remembered it was still only lunchtime and we were a bit peckish. 
Not just any scones
Rather than go to the rather sterile café area in the multiplex cinema we went outside and ended up here in the M&S Foodhall Café. We needed to get some stuff anyway. We’ve reviewed M&S before, when they had their large clothing store on Falkirk high street, but that has gone now. This place is now the only presence they have in town.
It is ironic that a business built on clothing sales is now largely dependent on foodhalls like this. Just when we get wall to wall cookery programs on TV, the M&S range of ready-meals (just nuke it and stick on the plate) has become ultra successful. They are good mind you. Anyway while we were getting some sandwiches we noticed the scones … “not just any scones … M&S scones” as the sultry-voiced woman on the M&S adverts would say.
Branding
It is all self service and we are not quite sure where the problem lay but the staff were struggling a bit … slightly chaotic behind the counter and lots of uncleared tables. 
There was no cream with our scones and initially there was no jam either but it turned up eventually. It was branded as ‘British’ like almost everything in M&S these days. Even the haggis and the whisky are emblazoned with the union jacks! It’s as if there is a panic in central government that Scottish independence is looming large yet again and nothing can be labeled ‘Scottish’ in case it further emboldens the natives. Frightened of losing their cash cow, it does of course have the opposite effect.
Doh!
Anyway our scones were fine but the whole experience was certainly not a topscone one. Irony abounds these days e.g. the UK says it hopes to do a trade deal with Singapore once it leaves the EU in a few months. This, as the EU signs a trade deal with Singapore this week … doh! After we leave the EU, how long will it be before someone notices that the biggest market in the world is right on our doorstep and we are not part of it … doh again!
FK1 1LW tel: 01324 406101 M&S Foodhall
In the words of M&S themselves ” drive yersell tae Stirlin, it’ll dae yae guid ti get oot o Fawkirk fur a while” …or words to that effect delivered in a boring English accented we don’t give a damn about Falkirk or the millions spent in our shop for decades tone.
Couldn’t have put it better myself, Nick.
I wasn’t that impressed with this M&S cafe. The staff didn’t seem to be on the ball. Tables were cluttered with dirty plates and cups, Billy had to clear a table for us to sit at. Not a great advertisement for M&S. Thoroughly enjoyed the film though.