When the “Lord Of The Isles” docked at Arinagour, the capital of the Isle of Coll, the hotel came to meet us. Although it’s less than a mile  from the harbour, with our backpacks and general state of decrepitude, the lift was very welcome. Already we had a good feeling that this was going to be a friendly and welcoming place. On the way we passed the Island Café and made a mental note for the following day.

Because the island is only 12×3 miles we hadn’t brought our car. The hotel had bikes that you could just help yourself to so that was to be our mode of transport. We had forgotten, however, that a day on a strange bike when you haven’t been on one for years can result in some painful experiences. We decided that we would go towards the airport (flights twice a day to the mainland) at the west end of the island. John, the island postman kept passing us in his wee red van. He, of course, was doing deliveries left and right of the main road so we were kind of leap frogging. Everyone waves here as well … even if you are just walking.

After a few miles of fairly gradual but consistent uphill we reached Acha Mill. John was there too! The road from here seemed to descend quite steeply and obviously, since there is only one road, this would mean a lengthy uphill struggle on the return journey. Oh to be young again! And by this time our bums and pretty much everything else were protesting. As we pondered what to do, as if by some miracle, we remembered the Island Cafe.

Persuasion

We deposited our bikes back in the shed behind the hotel and set off for the cafe … stiffly. We had only gone a few yards when we came on a mysterious black shed. You’ll never guess! It turned out to be a distillery. A very enthusiastic gent insisted that we try their full compliment of gins and vodka. It would have been rude not to so by the time we actually reached the Island Café we were already feeling much better.

Inside the cafe was quite busy so we opted to sit outside in the sunshine. Still feeling the effects of our over indulged hotel breakfast we decided a scone to share would be plenty. It was really nicely presented with a little china tray thingy holding the jam and cream. As we sat looking out onto Loch Eatharna thinking how lucky we were John the postman appeared again. Everything was locally made and quite delicious.  The scone itself was very close to being a topscone but not quite … shame!

You can tell it any way you like

Apparently, one day, three clergy men, one Church of Scotland, one Free Church and one Catholic priest, were out fishing on Loch Eatherna. The Church of Scotland minister at one point got out of the boat and walked across the water to the shore and brought back some provisions. Before long the Free Church minister did the same. Eventually the Catholic priest thought he should give it a try however he immediately sank to the bottom. His colleagues hauled him back on board but he insisted on trying again, As they hauled him out the second time his saviours turned to each other and said “Do you thing we should show him where the stepping stones are?” 

Speaking of clergy, it turned out that one of the chaps at the next table used to be a preacher on Coll and Tiree. Somewhat oddly he now works in the “fraud squad” for a large accountancy firm and was just back here on holiday. What’s more it turned out that they were both friendly with one of my old staff when I worked for Glasgow University. The previous night we had met someone who was friends with one of my staff when I worked for Edinburgh University.  How weird is that? Coll of all places! 

They told us that earlier they had ordered langoustine along at the pier and that they would have to collect them later. Just then, Andrew the fisherman, arrived delivering langoustines to the cafe. He told our new friends to stay where they were and he would bring the langoustines to them. A few minutes later Rachel, Andrew’s wife, appeared bearing their dinner for that evening. She was absolutely charming and spent some time explaining all about langoustine. We’re pretty sure you only get this kind of service in the Hebrides.

Perspectives

Even though the cost of living is a bit higher on Coll due to its isolation the population has increased by more than 60% in recent times. We can easily understand why. After a very short time here you have forgotten about all the problems of the world. And time itself just doesn’t seem to matter at all. Also, it seems like we have got to know almost everyone on the island. There goes John again in his wee red van.

Later, just before dinner, I was lying on the bed listening to Pat giving a running commentary on nothing happening. She was at the window with her binoculars. “I think that sparrow has a nest in that bush beside the helipad“. And “you know that wee red boat on the other side of loch …. it’s moved“. And “one of the seals has gone back in the water“. Excitedly “John’s just gone up that road beside the cafe“. Fantastic, could listen to it all night! I would have one of my usual rants but just can’t be bothered … tomorrow?

PA78 6SY      tel: 01879 230022        Island Cafe 

///dwelled.earplugs.dripped