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Scones, Uncategorized

Cafe Zestt

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What would we do without our correspondents? Really, how do you keep a scone blog going when you can’t go out for a scone? And Boris Johson thinks he has problems! At the start of this COVID pandemic, we felt the hiatus in normality was simply that, a hiatus. Now, however, we are not so sure. In fact, we are no longer very sure about anything.  To solve the problem we have done a fair bit of reposting but lately, it’s been our antipodean correspondents riding to the rescue. This is another from our poetically gifted Albury correspondent on Cafe Zestt in Crookwell. If you’re not sure where that is it’s roughly halfway between Sydney and Wagga Wagga … okay?

There is also some enlightening stuff from one of our Kiwi correspondents. It reminds us that this really is a pandemic. People on the opposite side of the world are suffering exactly the same problems as us in the UK.

But first, did you know that the antipode of Edinburgh is Papatowai on New Zealand’s south island. New York’s antipode is Augusta, Western Australia and Tokyo’s is Cidreira in Brazil. Auckland’s is Setenil de las Bodegas in Spain. You get all this and other useless information on allaboutthescones.com.

Anyway, our Albury correspondent wrote: “Well stone the flamin’ crows, as we Aussies exclaim when confronted with something astonishing. A scone at Cafe ZesttYesterday, when returning from a night in our national capital, we stopped at a one-horse drop called Crookwell for a coffee and, dare I say, a scone. The café Zestt provided us with both, and a very nice scone it was too. Perhaps a top scone, but who am I to be the judge of such things. On leaving, I noticed that the coffee brand they served was the Cat’s Pyjamas, a brand of which I had never heard. Bill’s Beans, yes, Fish River Roasters, yes, but never the Cat’s Pyjamas.

Then, blow me down, this morning I opened Bill’s latest blog to find he also drinks the Cat’s Pyjamas. It’s enough to bring on another poem!”External view of Cafe Zestt

Many thanks to A & J, can’t wait for the poem. We’re sure, however, that this Cat’s Pyjamas won’t be a patch on that from our very own coffee correspondent at Henry’s Coffee Company. Best coffee in the world … it really is the Cat’s Pyjamas.

NSW 2583      tel: +61 438 428 988        Zestt FB

///absurd.land.arithmetic

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Meanwhile, just next door in New Zealand, one of our Kiwi correspondents has been admirably busy during their lockdown. Her friend Mary always makes scones for every visit and presents them with lots of apricot jam. They look delicious! Mary's sconesShe was lamenting that fact that with the world being as crazy as it is, she may never get a return trip to Scotland. Let’s hope that isn’t the case but who knows? She sent some pics that make our slothfulness look positively criminal.

embroidery with fish
A SwordFish made from recycled garden tools and a cross-stitch embroidery

In New Zealand, of course, they are anticipating spring and summer whereas we are going the opposite way into autumn and winter. In Scotland, we have enjoyed a lot of fine weather this year but don’t think we could ever compete with our correspondent’s fabulous sweet grapefruit tree. grapefruit treeShe has also acquired this print of a quail which we think is rather splendid.

Etching of a quail
a quail by Helen Darling of Central Otago

Many thanks S & O, we loved all the pics. We are indebted to all our correspondents who enrich this blog wonderfully.

Now that we have our wheels back we may venture further afield for our next scone. Don’t want to raise expectations too high but watch this space. In the meantime stay safe.

Scones, Uncategorized

Clancy’s Cafe

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Road sign for YeovalFor this post we are not only indebted once again to our antipodean Bathurst correspondents but also to one of their friends.  He sent us some sconological information on Clancy’s Cafe, in Yeoval, New South Wales. The friend’s name is Paterson,  the cafe is contained within the Banjo Paterson museum (see title photo by Gabriela B) and we are Patersons so this post is really a celebration of Patersons the world over. As you can see the little town of Yeoval is “still the greatest” but don’t drink the water. We don’t want to get accused of stereotyping but its our understanding is that Australians only drink beer so don’t suppose that’s any kind of real hardship.

Waltzing across the outback

Banjo Paterson was brought up in Yeoval so presumably, he went straight from mother’s milk to drinking beer at an early age. He is to Australia what Robert Burns is to Scotland. Portrait of Banjo PatersonAn author, balladeer and poet who has kind of come to symbolise the country’s identity. He wrote under the pseudonym “The Banjo”, the name of his best-loved horse.  He died in 1941 and is probably best remembered as the originator of Waltzing Matilda. Perhaps typical for Australia, the song celebrates a sheep rustling itinerant hobo who waltzes (walks) from farm to farm with his matilda (knapsack of belongings). It’s pure nostalgia for a vanished way of life!

Carved inscription of Waltzing Matilda
A sculpture inscribed with the words of Watzing Matilda

The Clancy of Clancy’s Cafe is another daredevil character who appears in several of his stories. For a review of the scones, however, we are indebted to fellow sconey, Toni of  The Devonshire Tea Guide who visited Clancy’s back in 2015: “Whatever brings visitors to Yeoval is what I say, and for me, the scones definitely would. a scone at Clancy's CafeThey are lovingly homebaked, light and fluffy with a creamy texture and taste. The cream is sensational. Real cream whipped thick with an electric beater – how hard is that? Not very, and I wish more places did it. The jam is average but nice and thick and not syrupy sweet, and the mix works brilliantly. Scone lovers are crazy not to stop for five-dollar Devonshire Teas, and maybe linger to learn a bit more about the illustrious poet”.  So now you know, next time you are in Yeoval, Clancy’s is the place.

Clans

Like Banjo Paterson, our correspondent is of Scottish descent. In fact, his grandmother was Banjo’s niece. All Patersons are part of Clan MacLaren so we are all related in one way or another. Scotland, however, currently has a problem with its clans. Clan MacLeod has given rise to President Trump and we even have Clan Johnson …. aargh!! We can only apologise to the world for those aberrations. Reassuringly, as far as we know, Putin has no Scottish connections and neither has Kim Jong Un. Boris actually visited Scotland for a few hours yesterday to encourage donors to the Tory party to keep on digging deep. The essence of his message to the rest of the people of Scotland was: “After over 300 years of Westminster rule, Scotland is too wee, too stupid and too poor to be able to do anything for itself” Talk about shooting yourself in the foot?

NSW 2868     tel: +61 427 208 913     Clancy’s

///televise.transcribe.mediocrity

PS: As you all know, our famous Trossachs correspondents are avid sconeys. However, you may not be aware that they are also keen jigsaw puzzlers. They even do scone jigsaws. Yes, they have a scone jigsaw! Goodness knows where they got that from? Ascone jigsawOne of the scones is actually repeated elsewhere in the puzzle. No prizes but well done if you can spot it.

 

Scones, Uncategorized

Pumpkin scones

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Pumpkin scones? Have you taken leave of your senses we hear you cry! Nothing to do with us … blame the Aussies. Let us explain. With virtually no COVID deaths in the past week, Scotland is gradually easing its way towards lifting lockdown. The risk of catching coronavirus is now at least five times higher in England than Scotland hence the hoo-ha about health checks on the border. In our previous post from the Wineport, we spoke of the Australian government closing the border between the states of New South Wales and Victoria. No sooner had we done so than we received an unrelated but nevertheless timely report from our Bathurst correspondents in NSW.  In their own words:

Today we went on a firewood gathering excursion on a friend’s farm about 30 miles downriver from our home in Bathurst.  For morning tea our hostess served us pumpkin scones.  Alas, no cream or jam, just butter, but they were delicious.  My understanding is that pumpkin is classed as a pig food in the UK, but you eat swedes and turnips instead, which over here, we wouldn’t touch with a barge pole. The wife of a now-deceased premier of Queensland, Flo Bjelke-Peterson, was famous for her pumpkin scones.

Pumpkin v Turnip

They raise a number of points which we will try and address here:

  1. Experienced sconeys would not expect jam and cream with a savoury cheese or pumpkin scones … basic error.
  2. Pumpkins may well be pig food over here but we also find them useful as lanterns at Halloween! Other than that pumpkins are as about as useful as Boris Johnson. Okay, we may be coming down on pumpkins a bit hard there! As lanterns, pumpkins do emit some light whereas the same could never be said of Boris
  3. They are right in saying that we do eat turnips. Every year, in January, when we celebrate the birth of Robert Burns, our national bard, huge quantities of haggis, neeps and tatties (haggis, turnips and potatoes) are consumed along with copious quantities of whisky. Burns saw these as the food and drink of the common man and elevated them above the ‘skinking ware’ that the highfalutin aristocrats partook of. He knew what he was talking about!
  4. We can only assume that the Australian aversion to turnips is due to the likelihood that most of them were sent to Australia for stealing said items. 
 
Shrewd Flo!

Our correspondents also alerted us to the wonderful Flo Bjelke-Peterson.  She was an influential member of the Australian Senate who is the first person we have come across to openly admit to using scones for political purposes. She baked them for family and friends but also for the journalists that used to stake out her home. “They help me relate to the women who make them, and the men who eat them.” So we concede that these pumpkin scones must have been pretty good otherwise their influence politically would have been extremely limited.

When readers in the UK have finished gnawing on their turnips they might want to try Flo’s recipe … if they have a leftover lantern from Halloween!

INGREDIENTS:


1 tablespoon of butter
½ cup of sugar
¼ teaspoon of salt
1 egg
1 cup of cooked mashed pumpkin (cooled)
2-2¼ cups self-raising flour

METHOD: Preheat your oven to 250°C. Beat together butter, sugar and salt with an electric mixer until light and fluffy.
Add egg, then pumpkin and stir in the flour.
Turn dough onto a floured board and cut into circles.
Place on a tray on the top shelf of a very hot oven (225-250°C) for 15-20 minutes.
Remove from oven, allow to cool and serve with butter.
Note: As with all scone dough, it is important not to overmix the dough. Keep your touch light, knead it as little as possible, and only work it enough to just bring it together. When you have cut your scone rounds out, you can recombine the leftover dough to make more scones, but again, don’t overwork the dough, or you will end up with tough scones.

NOTE: We are, of course, hugely grateful to our Bathurst correspondents. Keep them coming but maybe try some proper scones next time.

BREAKING

Donald Trump has been seen wearing a mask. Apparently, he likes it and thinks it makes him look like the Lone Ranger. Up until now, we suspected that he was suffering from another virus which seems to accompany coronavirus. We’re not singling him out, lot’s of people seem to have the imasthickasshitvirus. Sorry!

Who knows, if things continue to go well, we may be able to get out scone hunting again very soon.

Scones, Uncategorized

Kinloch Castle – Again

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This coronavirus Kinloch Castle repost is from July 2017. We were visiting what is known as the Small Isles and today it was the turn of the Isle of Rùm. Back then Theresa May was Prime Minister but had lost all credibility and power. Unfortunately, she was the only one who hadn’t realised and was still grimly hanging on like a dog with a bone. At least she started off with some credibility which is more than can be said for the present incumbent. Bitchy or what?

You wouldn’t think that this, one of the remotest Scottish islands, would have much in common with the Black Lives Matter movement but you would be sooo wrong. It illustrates, perhaps better than anywhere else in the world, just how much money could be made off the back of the slave trade. Okay, back to 2017!

Another beautiful day and this time we are on the Isle of Rùm. From where we are staying on Eigg, Rùm dominates the view from almost everywhere. Before we go further, perhaps a little background info on Rùm is called for. Many moons ago the island had a population of around 450 but in 1826, the owner loaded 300 on to the ships, Highland Lad and the Dove of Harmony, and sent them to Canada. The following year the rest of the population were dispatched on the good ship St Lawrence along with 150 from the Isle of Muck which he owned as well.

A local shepherd related “The people of the island were carried off in one mass, forever, from the sea-girt spot where they were born and bred... The wild outcries of the men and heart-breaking wails of the women and children filled all the air between the mountainous shore of the bay“.

Just deserts

The people were replaced with what was seen to be more profitable sheep. But the whole enterprise failed when the owner declared bankruptcy about twenty years later and ended up in a worse state than his previous tenants … just deserts, maybe?

Approaching the Isle of Rum
Approaching Rum on the Sheerwater ferry

Alligator ponds

More recently the island was owned by the Bullough family who made their fortune in Accrington from manufacturing machinery for the cotton industry. They wanted to turn the island into their own private playground and sporting estate. George Bullough built Kinloch Castle in 1900 using stone brought from the Isle of Arran. He didn’t scrimp. Fourteen under-gardeners, who were paid extra to wear kilts, worked on the extensive grounds that included a nine-hole golf course, tennis and squash courts, heated turtle and alligator ponds and an aviary including birds of paradise and humming birds. 230,000 tons of soil for the grounds was imported from Ayrshire and figs, peaches, grapes and nectarines were grown in greenhouses.

Party central

The interior boasted an orchestrion that could simulate the sounds of brass, drum and woodwind, an air-conditioned billiards room, and a jacuzzi. It even had electricity and flushing toilets when these things were almost unheard of on the mainland. Kin

Internal view of Kinloch Castle on the Isle of Rum
the entrance hall to the castle

loch became party central for the aristocracy and the shenanigans that occurred there became the stuff of legend and drove a massive rumour mill into a state of near hysteria. They renamed the island “Rhum” because Bullough did not like being called the “Laird of Rum”. The island was eventually bought by Scottish Natural Heritage and currently has a population of around 30. In the last couple of years, SNH has arranged for land and assets around the village of Kinloch to be transferred to the community giving individuals control over their own destinies. Let’s hope it is as successful as a similar venture on Eigg.

Crisps??

The tearoom on Rùm is in the village hall just next to the castle. We asked for a scone but they said they only had cherry cake. Faced with Hobson’s Choice we agreed to have a piece of cake with our coffee. When we made our way outside to sit in the sunshine we were regaled with the news that they didn’t actually have any cherry cake. Would we like a packet of crisps?? The lady, seeing our disappointment, said that she could have given us a piece of chocolate cake but she hadn’t had time to put the icing on it. Eventually, she agreed to let us have a piece of plain chocolate cake. It was very nice.

Plain chocolate cake

Apologies, we would have loved to have brought you a Rum scone. They do know when the ferries come in (there must have been at least 60 people on ours) so it is not as if a sudden influx comes as a surprise. Difficult to explain such a situation. Hey ho, chocolate cake it had to be!

Just to ease your disappointment, however, we can provide some pictures of a lovely K6 telephone box we came across. It was made in the Lion Foundry, Kirkintilloch and used for growing geraniums. It is in a stunning location and has a lifebelt and an anchor decorating its exterior. Could be in line for the prettiest K6 award … unless you know better, of course?

While we were having our uniced chocolate cake we met a lovely couple from Yorkshire. We met them again on the ferry going back to Eigg. When we asked them why they had nettles sticking out of their bag they said they were making a ‘holiday cord’. They did it with nettles from all the places they had visited. And you thought we were mad! In another attempt to make up for the dearth of scones we offer you a pictorial guide to nettle chordage.

Demonstration of nettle cording
A demonstration of nettle cording on the ferry back to Eigg

Chordage instructions

First, you remove the leaves (unless you are some sort of masochist, use gloves). Then split the stem with your nail or other similar implement. Throw away the internal woody bit then let the outer fibrous sheaths dry for a wee while before twisting as pictured. Your cord can end up as long as you like by carefully pleating all the stems together. It ends up very strong. By the way, Pat got a Sea Eagle and some kittiwakes to add to her bird list. Very happy girl again.

Skye from the Isle of Rum
Skye across the Sea of the Hebrides,  black Cuillin in the middle, red Cuillin to the right

Seventh scone

Theresa May is still hanging on! This is our seventh scone post since the election and she is still there. Almost admiring her tenacity … or is it just sheer stupidity? Don’t let the dire scone situation put you off visiting Rùm. It is quite simply spectacular. Maybe by the time you get there, they will have got themselves sorted out with scones! Don’t forget your nettles. Hopefully we will have better luck on the romantically named Isle of Muck.

PH43 4RR      tel: 01687 462037      Kinloch Castle – Rum

PS: Our Trossachs correspondents decided that in order to celebrate Father’s Day and our Four Hundred milestone they would bake some scones. Apparently this was the first time this century they had donned their aprons. They used the Royal recipe from the Royal Garden Party post. The scones were reported as being absolutely delicious. They certainly look delicious and beautifully presented with flowers, fantoosh teapot and all. How the other half live! Well done.

BREAKING: The £5.36 I have been carrying around in my pocket for months has changed. It is now £6.36! Don’t ask, I have no idea, it must just be gaining interest!

RUM SHED

Scones, Uncategorized

Four Hundred

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A multicoloured Four Hundred, that’s a strange title, we hear you cry. What could that possibly refer to? Could it be something to do with the LGBT community? Could it be something to do with the COVID-19 rainbows in everyone’s windows? Well yes, the colouring does reflect the times we currently live in but the number, surprise surprise, denotes the simple fact that this is the 400th post on allaboutthescones.com since we started back in 2015.

Who would have thought it? If you had suggested back then that five years later we would still be blogging about scones we would have fallen about laughing. Scones have certainly taken us to places we would never otherwise have been and to meet people we would never otherwise have met. It has been an extraordinary adventure. Having said that we should really have something better to do with our time! It would be great to be able to say that we have come a long way since then but, of course, we haven’t. Still, the same old scone scoffing and carping endlessly about our illustrious leaders. Of course, that’s not to say that nothing has happened in these five years, far from it.

Back at the start

Hard to think of it now but back in 2015 David Cameron had unexpectedly come to power, UKIP was riding high and the SNP had 56 of the 59 Scottish MPs at Westminster. The UK was still a member of the EU for goodness sake! Jeremy Corbyn emerged as a joke candidate for leadership of the Labour party but ended up winning. Unfortunately, he managed to make Labour unelectable, leaving English voters with no choice but to vote Tory. Hence the mess we are in today with the vacuum that is Boris Johnson in charge.

Scones at Fonab Castle
Fonab Castle’s baking and respect for scones has been our benchmark throughout

What else has happened? Well apart from scone reports from all over the UK, our intrepid correspondents have lodged reports from all over the world … the parts that we find hard to reach. Our gratitude is boundless!

Obviously we have dispatched a lot of scones in that time but, happily, 108 of them have been topscones. It’s great when you come across a topscone but suffice to say we have thoroughly enjoyed finding each and every one of them.

200 scones
This is what 209 scones looks like … imagine eating twice as many?
400

In case you are interested Four Hundred days ago, we were at the Old Inn in Northern Ireland eating fabulous cherry scones and writing about making love to goats. Four Hundred weeks ago it was 2012 and the Queen’s Silver Jubilee. Fred Goodwin lost his knighthood but other bankers got massive bonuses. We were warned that representative democracy was in terminal decline in the UK. The fact that Scotland’s representative in the current government is now a Tory MP in England proves that at least they got that right. Four Hundred months ago it was 1987.  Bill Gates launched Windows 2.0 and China sent its first email to an address in Germany. Four Hundred years ago it was 1620 and the good ship Mayflower departed Plymouth on its way to America. Wonder if they would still do that today now that Trump is President?

Amidst all this technological wizardry and political idiocy, scones remained a consistent and calming influence throughout. A beacon of good taste and sensibility. Long may that happy situation continue!

Lastly, a big thank you to our readers for your forbearance and many comments. The next post will be another old scone from the past … it’s not our fault!

Scones, Uncategorized

The Royal Garden Party

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We know that this may come as a shock to readers of our humble blog who had assumed over the years that we were just ordinary people. You know that we go to great lengths to expand your sconological knowledge but you probably thought that that was about as special as we could get. However, rest assured, when the Queen requested our company at the Royal Garden Party at the Palace of Holyroodhouse we didn’t see it as some sort of high faluting privilege but rather a simple scone opportunity? While we were there we ended up being introduced and chatting to HRH, Elizabeth I of Scotland (we call her Ma’am for short) for ten minutes or so. It was all very polite and interesting but it went so quickly we completely forgot to ask her for the scone recipe … remiss of us we know. We didn’t get round to sheds either! A bit of a wasted opportunity. Thank goodness she never asked if we were Royalists! However, we are about to make amends with a Garden Party recipe.

We know that you are all thinking “That pair never got an invitation from the Queen! If they got to a Royal Garden Party they must have climbed over the gates”! Well, we did get an invite and just to prove it there’s no way we could have climbed the gates dressed like this.Royal Garden Party

Special

That was almost a decade ago, of course, and the only reason for bringing it up now is that HRH, has just released her scone recipe for Garden Parties and we thought we should place it in some sort of context. It was before our scone blogging days so the scones didn’t get critiqued but we are sure they would have been topscones … especially if there’s a chance of a knighthood!

We should add that having met many members of the Royal Family; the Queen Mum, Charles, Diana, Anne etc, the Queen was definitely the best. We’re not sucking up it’s just that yes, we are so special we are able to make such judgements! And that knighthood!

Recipe

Actually, you may be surprised to hear that HRH does not actually bake the scones for her Garden Parties. This is the recipe for fruit scones used by the Royal Pastry Chefs so presumably, it has been “approved”.

???????????:
-500g Plain Flour
-28g Baking Powder
-94g Butter
-86g Sugar
-2 Whole Eggs
-140ml Butter Milk
-100g Sultanas – a type of raisin (Cover in hot water and leave to soak for 30 minutes)
??????:
-Preheat oven to 180 C
-Mix the flour, baking powder, butter and sugar together in a bowl, until a crumb is formed
-In a separate bowl, whisk the eggs and buttermilk together
-Add the liquid to the crumb mixture
-Continue to mix the dough, until it is smooth
-(Optional) Add the sultanas, and mix until evenly distributed
1Remove the dough from the bowl, flatten the dough and cover
-Leave to rest for approximately 30 minutes
-Roll out the dough to a thickness of 2.5 cm and cut to desired shape
-Rest the scones for another 20 minutes
-Gently egg was the top of the scones
-Bake in the oven for 10-12 minutes until golden brown
-Cool before serving with jam and clotted cream

There is even a short video, just click here! Royal Garden Party scones

Leadership

Many thanks to HRH for the invite and a very interesting day. Actually, it was interesting just walking through the streets of Edinburgh dressed like a couple of people going to a Royal Garden Party …. many photos of us must now be adorning mantlepieces all over the world. And now you have the recipe you can have your very own garden party!

After George Floyd, Trump has bunkered down in the White House and threatened to use the army against his own people. Meanwhile, Boris has gone AWOL as UK becomes the most unstable it’s been in living memory. A world with Garden Parties suddenly seems a little bit surreal!

We could give you the postcode etc of the Palace of Holyroodhouse but what’s the point if you’re not special?

We’ll keep you posted on the knighthood thingy …services to scones! Will the investiture be at Scone Palace?

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Scones, Uncategorized

Narrow Neck Beach Café

So here we are at the Narrow Neck Beach Café! Have the coronavirus restrictions been lifted we hear you cry? No, of course, they haven’t. Fortunately, not all countries are led by buffoons. New Zealand, for example, is led by Jacinda Ardern, who is about as far away from our own idiotic leaders as it’s possible to get. She has just continued a live interview during an earthquake for goodness sake! As a result of that leadership, our wonderful Kiwi correspondents have been able to travel and meet friends in cafés that are actually open. Bravo NZ! Perhaps more importantly, their report allows us to provided a brief respite from our never-ending diet of old island scones. Though come to think of it, New Zealand is an island!

Devonport to Takapuna

Anyway, we can do no better than let them describe this mini scone adventure in their own words. We are sooo jealous! “We spent the day walking to Devonport and back to Takapuna 20kms.  Beautiful day as you can see, and another 50 odd photos ?.  We stopped for late breakfast at Narrow Neck Beach Cafe on the way.  An excuse for me to try a very cheesy scone.  Seated on a bench, in the sun on a beautiful autumn day, Rangitoto Island for a view, Trim Latte and scone.   It looked delicious, very cheesy a little crisp on top, warm, and relatively soft inside and with extra butter!. And it tasted delicious ?.  A perfect scone I think?“A scone at the Narrow Neck Beach Café

In case you are wondering ‘trim latte’ is kiwi-speak for a latte made with skimmed milk. It’s all part of your sconalogical education and could avoid potential embarrassment while ordering a coffee next time you’re in NZ. Obviously, our correspondents are not qualified to classify scones officially but we are happy to believe that we would have given them a topscone had we been there. When the restrictions lift?? Many thanks to S&O.

 The fact that Dominic Cummings is still in his post following his really stupid behaviour amply demonstrates that he actually IS the Tory party and he actually IS the government. Nothing happens without his say so. The arrogance of Johnson and Cummings is mind-blowing, they clearly think they are truly exceptional. Cummings particular skill lies in being able to persuade the public that what is good for the elite is actually good for them as well. Hence there are bigger things than a trip to Barnard Castle he has to answer for: Brexit, food banks, privatisation, homelessness for example. He won’t go until he has given his hapless boss, Boris permission to get rid of him. However, he may find out shortly that his real boss is the great British public.

As New Zealand rolls into autumn, we go into summer. Let’s hope that we can have the same liberties as our New Zealand friends by then.

Auckland 0624.     tel:+64 22 495 9659       Narrow Neck FB

Scones, Uncategorized

Cunard

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How about a break with the tradition of recycling of old island scones? Our wonderful Sydney correspondents have sent us a bit of exotica as well as a scone recipe. As keen cruisers who don’t bake they remembered the Cunard scones as being delicious on their last trip. They wrote to Cunard and asked for the recipe and Cunard wrote back. How’s that for initiative and dedication … bravo! Though, what’s the point if they don’t bake? It’s simply a highly commendable service to fellow sconeys …  bravo again!

In another break with tradition, we have decided not to make any political comments. Especially on our incompetent Tory government and its blubbering buffoon of a leader. Just think, they could easily furlough everyone until whenever necessary just by not renewing Trident. After all, what’s the point of having weapons of mass destruction if there’s no one left to kill? But it’s a waste of time and effort so we’re not commenting.

Cunard logo

Cruising is our idea of hell on earth. That’s just us, of course, we know lots of folks who think it’s the bee’s knees. Our feeling, however, has only been reinforced by recent events with COVID-19. We restrict ourselves to cruising with Caledonian MacBrayne where your chances of getting afternoon tea served by a white-gloved waiter are pretty slim. On the other hand, you can readily get pie beans and chips as long as you go and get it yourself. They do go places of interest to us, however.Cunard lounge

Nick’s Recipe

‘There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea.’ Henry James, Portrait of a Lady

A scone on a Cunard liner

We can’t judge these scones, of course, but this is Nick Oldroyd, the Executive chef’s recipe. If you are going to try it you don’t have to bother with the branding. Unless, of course, you really want to.

Cunard's scone recipe

Of course, this sort of thing is all very well for Aussie sophistocats but what about the likes of us. Has any of this persuaded us to take to luxury cruising? These floating palaces do have swimming pools, gymnasiums, fine dining restaurants and signature scones. They take you effortlessly to exotic islands like Bermuda and Seychelles. But can any of these destinations boast a decent shed? No! For the moment we will restrict our cruising to Scottish ferries. Caledonian MacBraynes have scones as well but we have never managed to try one because we’re always up on deck with our binoculars looking for shearwaters and puffins.

We are indebted to our correspondents for giving us a glimpse into their hedonistic world and also to Cunard for use of their photographs. Don’t worry shed fans, they will reappear with the next post but probably not alongside a signature scone.

tel: 0344 338 8650           Cunard Cruises

ps: I still have £5.36 in my pocket. Remember I started out in March with £10.36 but mysteriously lost a fiver along the way. Remarkably the rest is still intact.

Scones, Uncategorized

COVID-19

9 Comments

This is not a government public service announcement about COVID-19! It’s just us! In these extraordinary times where we cannot access new scones, we thought we should try and reassure readers. Especially those concerned about the onset of scone withdrawal symptoms being mistaken for those of coronavirus. Have no fear! Coronavirus symptoms are a high temperature and a dry cough whereas those for scone withdrawal consist mainly of an intense, almost debilitating, sense of longing..

Because, of course, commercial scone baking has crashed we are left with little choice but to do it ourselves … provided you can get the ingredients. That’s not for everyone, so in these difficult times, we have decided that we can probably keep sconology going by simply digging into the archives. There won’t be any “fresh” scones but it may be interesting to look back and see if the rants were in any way justified. We may theme them. The first will probably be “island scones”. Not because there are better scones on the islands, more because we just like islands and, if nothing else, we will enjoy a little bit of nostalgia. Maybe one repost every week! Of course, that’s if we can figure out how to do it! If anyone would rather not receive them, please just let us know.

Texas and all that

We hope the UK is heading towards some sort of peak in the current pandemic but how will we know for definite when this pandemic is over? How will we know when normality has returned? Well, first of all, we need to go back in time to 1827. That’s when Beethoven died, Texas was still part of Mexico, Hussein Duval slapped the French consul’s face leading to the invasion of Algeria in 1830 and the term “socialist” was first used by Robert Owen. That last one is particularly apt since today the Labour Party elected Sir Keir Starmer as its new leader. He has a tough job making Labour electable again however we wish him well in providing some sort of opposition to the current hapless government.

Most importantly though, 1827 was the year our local pub, the Woodside Inn, first opened. It’s been serving the local community ever since. That is until two weeks ago when it closed its doors for the first time. Mon Dieu! Is this really the end of the world as we know it? I have been going there for well over fifty five years. So there you have it! We will recognise the return to normality when these doors open again. Hopefully, that won’t be too long!
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Stay safe

In the meantime, we thought we should toast you, our readers and all our wonderful worldwide correspondents for sticking by us through all the trials and tribulations of sconology. Together we will triumph but in the meantime, stay safe!

US at the Palm Court
in our natural habitat – the toast is THE SCONES!

 

Scones, Uncategorized

Tobermory Bakery

13 Comments

This is not an ordinary post! It is an extraordinary post for extraordinary times. It’s a sad tale of bright-eyed hopes being dashed on the jagged coronavirus rocks of outrageous fortune. Perhaps that’s overstating a bit … but only a bit! Okay, okay, what we are trying to tell you is that there were no scones at the Tobermory Bakery. But let’s start at the beginning.

Duart Castle, Isle of Mull
passing Duart Castle, the 13th-century seat of Clan MacLean

In brief, I was having one of these special days you have every year and Pat thought we should spend it in Tobermory. A mini-adventure sailing to the Isle of Mull and reliving some old memories. The town itself holds many memories.

View of Tobermory
Tobermory with the bright blue Mishnish Hotel to the right

Safe haven

The last time I was here was on the return leg of a sailing trip to St Kilda. Out in the Atlantic, the weather had been a diabolical Force 10 – 12 and I was never so glad to see these brightly coloured houses, especially the Mishnish pub … a safe haven indeed!

As you know we don’t do silly things like that any more, we just make copious contributions to the Royal National Lifeboat Institution and spend our free time looking for scones. For this trip, we had set our sights on the Tobermory Bakery which boasted an excellent scone reputation.

On our way to TobermoryWe love ferries because they always take us somewhere exciting. We’re easily excited! To navigate to our destination we had to use the services of a Calmac Ferry called the Isle of Mull. We were on a package that included the return ferry fare, 10% off your breakfast on the boat and a return bus from Craignure to Tobermory … £38 for the two of us. There would be four hours set aside to wander around Tobermory.

Irresponsible

It only takes 45 minutes to get from Oban to Mull and by the time we had done a bit of bird spotting from the deck we were too late to cash in on the 10% breakfast discount. Damn, disappointment number one! Disappointment number two really because there were no birds either. It was a beautiful day though and when we arrived at Craignure a double-decker bus was waiting to take us on the last leg. Somehow it never occurred to us that the bus would be a double-decker. The boat had been very quiet and the bus was too. We got seats at the very front of the top deck, like a couple of excited kids. The reason everything was quiet of course was the coronavirus outbreak. We were feeling vaguely irresponsible for being out and about but then again we feel that way all the time.

The memories started almost right away. The bus had barely started when it took us down a tiny single-track road through the forest to the Fishnish terminal. That’s where the little ferry comes in from Lochaline on Ardnamurchan, the most westerly point on the UK mainland. Last time we were here, about 50 years ago, there was only a concrete ramp and a waste paper basket but now there was a hut as well. Fishnish has been developed! This was also the scene of Pat’s first and last encounter with a wood wasp. This harmless but fearsome-looking three-inch-long insect innocently landed on her shoulder. Never seen her move so fast. One minute she was sitting beside me and the next she was about 50 yards away. Anyway, it was great being able to do the hour-long trip with such a high vantage point. The views were sensational!

The Mishnish

Pat had lured me to Mull with the promise of a bottle of Tobermory single malt. The first thing we noticed as we entered the town was that the distillery was closed … coronavirus, arrrgghh! Disappointment number three! Why had we bothered? That only left the scones to look forward to. After a very pleasant walk around the coast to the Tobermory cannon, we headed for a pre-scone drink in the legendary Mishnish bar. Many a good night has been had in here on sailing trips. It was great to be back.

External view of Tobermory Distillery
This is what a closed distillery looks like from the top deck of a bus … tragic!

Then, at last, it was scone time. The Tobermory Bakery is just along from the Mishnish so we happily ambled along in the glorious sunshine. As I went to take a picture of the bakery Pat went in to place our order.

Don’t eat the pies

Sign at the Tobermory Bakery
A sign in the window of the Tobermory Bakery

Before I had finished taking the picture Pat was coming back out … no scones! Sacre bleu! All the other cafés were shut … coronavirus. Devastation! Disappointment number four. Not really their fault, with everywhere else being closed they just hadn’t made enough to cope with the extra demand. The expectation was that this place would get a topscone award, however, it was not to be. We will return to test these scones another day though we may give the pies a miss.

Sampling the Ledaig in Tobermory Hotlel
Happy me with a  glass of Ledaig single malt

Instead of eating scones we bought some postcards to send to our collection of brats that masquerade as granddaughters. After sitting writing them out in the rather comfortable Tobermory Hotel we went to the Post Office … closed, coronavirus! There wasn’t even a post box! Disappointment number five! Our bus driver, however, said he would stop at Salen, about halfway back to Craignure, and Pat could get off and post them at the Post Office there. As it happened there was a post box before Salen and he pulled in so close she didn’t even have to get off. The other passengers all thought it was hilarious. Only on the islands, that’s why we love them.View of Tobermory

Normally, the islands have a markedly different way of life. They are independent and practical people who just get on with things when the mainland can be floundering. This virus thing is different, however. They can’t just carry on when the shellfish industry has completely collapsed and tourism is being strangled. There is a possibility that the ferries may be stopped in order that the islands do not become infected. That’s great for stopping infection and if anyone can cope with isolation it’s the islanders, however, cutting off their livelihoods as well would be a calamity. But what is the alternative?

A fresh look at who we are

Coronavirus has exposed so many cracks in our economy and our society. The gig economy is shown for what it is, an almighty disaster for those on short term and zero-hours contracts. With Richard Branson appealing from his private island for a taxpayer bailout of his many companies it shows us that inequality is now the norm, it is deeply embedded in our society. However, it also shows us who the really important people are … usually the lowest paid, the cleaners and the care workers. We all depend on them. It shows us that across the world we are all much the same with the same concerns and worries. We all depend on each other.

Back home now and isolating ourselves as per Boris’s garbled instructions. We are being responsible, it’s a weird feeling. There are scones in reserve however so don’t expect any immediate respite from sconology. Take care, everyone!

PA75 6NU      tel: 01688 302225      Tobermory Bakery FB

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