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Scones, Uncategorized

Girdle scones

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If you are wondering where the girdle scones are in the title photo, they are in the tummies of the two mini-Vikings. We went the short distance to Blackness Castle for a picnic and they had girdle scones filled with ham and cheese. It was definitely a top girdle scone award according to them. 

One of our mini-Vikings was born in Norway and is super proud of that. The other minnier-Viking was born in England and is super proud of that. As they read the information boards the miniest-Viking became troubled by the realisation that this castle, which she loved, had spent a lot of time under attack by the English. She is half Scottish but we could see that she was seriously conflicted. Quite tricky for a five year old. Mind you, us older ones weren’t too happy about Oliver Cromwell wrecking it in 1650 either. All that was completely forgotten, however, when the picnic was produced.

Fussy pigeons

Anyway lets go back to the beginning. Since we have been expanding reader’s sconological education with traditional oven scones and more recently drop scones and tattie scones, Pat thought she should have a go at girdle scones. The last time she tried them was when we were first married and living in a first floor flat in Edinburgh. We always put our stale bread out on the window sill for the birds. When the girdle scones didn’t turn out too well we put them out as well. Not even the pigeons would take them. This memory was still vivid as she launched into this second attempt. making girdle scones

Happily, years of baking experience meant there was a much happier outcome this time around. If they look a bit like tatties scones that’s because they are quite similar except, of course, there are no potatoes in girdle scones and there is a little baking powder to make them rise.

ways to eat girdle scones
girdle scone with ham and cheese and next day with fry up … yum

Many years ago, when I was a mere sapling of a student, I worked as a labourer in the oil refinery at Grangemouth during college holidays. Every morning a truck would pick me up in Falkirk High Street. It had a tin hut thing on the back. There was no door but inside there were wooden benches running down each side. A little bit later the truck would stop at a model lodging house where a squad of Irish navvies would climb on board and join me in the hut. These guys regarded puny students as fair game so I probably got more than my fair share of ragging but really, they were the salt of the earth.

A singular woman

I tell you this simply because the lodging house had a woman who came in and made the men their packed lunches. I’ll never forget it because every day it was exactly the same. They all had a full girdle scone filled with great slabs of red cheddar cheese. For all the months I worked there I never saw them eat anything else. Suffice to say that Pat’s second attempt at girdle scones was much much better than the first.

A mystery 

In spite of the delicate nature of Anglo/Scot relations our visit to Blackness was great fun. But it highlighted an ongoing problem that we were totally unable to resolve. How to get the miniest-Viking to wear a jacket in a way that covered more than just her forearms?Jacket mystery at Blackness Castle

If anyone has any suggestions we would be delighted to hear them.

Just as Scotland enters a phase where it has its best ever chance of achieving the same respect that all independent nations take for granted, it is beset by a scandal. It revolves around personalities and technicalities of who said what to who, where and when. No bearing whatsoever on Scotland’s case for independence but with the media in a feeding frenzy, it undoubtedly will.  Fingers crossed good sense prevails.

the beach at Blackness Castle
Jacket problem final solution … removed it
Scones, Uncategorized

Tattie scones

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.Okay, we’ve been eagerly awaiting Nicola Sturgeon announcing that we can all go as one big family on holiday to Inverness. Unfortunately she is being super cautious so we will just have to carry on crossing our fingers and hoping that the vaccination programme makes it all possible by Easter. Children went back to school yesterday in Scotland and in England on 8th March, so overall there are increasing reasons for optimism.  In blog terms, however, it means that we are descending ever closer to the bottom of the sconology barrel.  This post is all about tattie scones.

A potato scone or tattie scone as it’s known in Scotland, is fairly far removed from the oven scones that form the already rather feeble excuse for this blog’s existence. They are, however, scones so we have to give them their due. They’re just not what we are accustomed to. Our readers in the nether regions and far flung crevices of the world will probably be wondering what on earth we are on about. But what else are we supposed to do when we still can’t leave home.

Canny Scot

Anyway, one day the two mini-Vikings who helped us make drop scones in the previous post were having dinner at our house. Pat had made them mince and tatties, an ever popular dish that never usually  fails. Suddenly, one of them (as five year olds tend to do) announced loudly that she didn’t like potatoes any more. Rather than go through the rigmarole of explaining about starving children in Africa, we decide to give her bread instead. That was fine but, of course, it meant that we still had some left over mashed potatoes. Pat, canny Scot that she is, put them in a bowl in the fridge. 

Next day she announced that she was going to attempt something she had never done before – making tattie scones. Wow! Not sure that tattie scones could be classed as a Scottish delicacy but they are certainly very popular as part of a breakfast fry up. A packet of tattie scones does not cost a lot but they are simple to make. 

tattle scone preparationYou can get a recipe here but Pat simply added added a pinch of salt, a little butter and some milk to the left over mashed potato before finally adding a little flour. She then just patted the mixture out until it was roughly round in shape before dividing into quarters. Then they were transferred to a hot lightly buttered griddle (large frying pan would do) where they cooked until ready.cooking tattie scones

Ulstermen

Some people like them hot with just a little butter. Others actually prefer them cold with butter and jam. When we lived in Northern Ireland they were known as potato farls and formed an essential part of an Ulster fry. That’s something that Ulstermen have every morning but which would keep any ordinary mortal going for about a week.

Finished tattle scones
The finished article
A first

Next morning, we decide to have our own fry up. It was an altogether puny affair compared to an Ulster fry. But at least we could sample Pat’s first homemade tattie scones. The scones were heated in the frying pan along with everything else. Tattie scone fry up

We regard fry ups as a relatively rare treat. So needless to say the whole plateful was consumed with more than a little relish. Tattie scones were superb. Well done Pat and thanks to one over fussy mini-Viking without whom we would never have made them.

Scones, Uncategorized

Myrtle House Café

Do you sometimes find yourself wondering if the past year has just been a dream … a not very nice dream. And that you will suddenly wake up and it will all be over? After a while the whole COVID thing gets to you like that. One of the Australian aboriginal Dreaming stories tells of Baiame, a creational ancestral hero.

Mount Yengo
2,192 ft high Mount Yengo, the Uluru of the east

He came down from the sky to find the earth bare and dark. He decided to make it light and created plants, animals and rivers to make it beautiful. When he finished he jumped back up to the sky and, in doing so, he flattened the top of Mount Yengo. It’s a sacred site and you are requested not to climb it but we think the world could do with another visit from Baiame … there is much in need of attention.  We tell you all this because at the foot of Mt Yengo is the Myrtle House Cafe where you can get scones. Another sacred place, perhaps? 

Freedom

And how do we know all this … our Bathurst correspondents, of course. Once again we are indebted. If it wasn’t for them we wouldn’t have a clue what was happening sconologically down under. Their latest report started by telling us that cricketing legend Don Bradman actually started his career trying to play his first love, tennis. They soon get down to the scones, however, and end up here in Myrtle House. Bear in mind that our correspondents, although restricted by COVID, have much greater freedom to travel than we do. In their own words:

“On the road again, this time going north to our niece’s farm at a little village called Laguna on the Broke Road in the Hunter Valley. Erica and husband Brett and three small children have just moved up here from Sydney to escape the city rat race. Great for Covid protection as well.

the Fresh Denman cafe

On the way we lunched on bacon and egg rolls at a café called Fresh Denman, preceded of course by a scone entrée. The scone looked great but faded a bit on the tasting, maybe a 5 out of 10. Certainly not a top scone, perhaps a middling one if that term that can be used in scone hierarchy.

Lemonade

A couple of days later we had breakfast at a café called Myrtle House in Wollombi, just north of Laguna, starting of course with the obligatory B&E roll. “Do you also serve scones” I asked our waitress. “Of course we do mate” came the reply. “In fact, they are made to the famous Country Women’s Association (CWA) recipe, lemonade and all”. After that we had to order a serving. Better than the Denman ones, but a slight taste of sourdough, must have been the lemonade. 7 out of 10.

A crape myrtle tree
Crape myrtle trees surround the cafe
The CWA

The Country Women’s Association has become a recurring theme. First mentioned when our Toowoomba correspondents wrote about it in a post from the Angel Cafe. Then we provided their scone recipe in the The Old Workshop Cafe – Again post and latterly we actually bought a virtual Devonshire tea from them (it was for a good cause) in the Machrie Bay Tearoom – Again post. 

Ancestors

The Aboriginals believed that the entire world was made by their Ancestors way back in the very beginning of time … the Dreamtime. The Ancestors made everything and therefore everything is sacred and must be treated with respect. What would the Ancestors make of the current wrangling between the EU and the UK over imports and exports to N. Ireland. In fact, what would the Ancestors make of anything these days? Perhaps the world would be a nicer place if we took a leaf out of the Aboriginal’s book. 

NSW 2325               tel: (02) 4998 3220                 Myrtle House

///supernatural.reddest.seasonal

Scones, Uncategorized

Pat’s scones

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Before we treat you to a sample of Pat’s scones let us first take a look at the current lockdown situation. It isn’t getting less severe, the opposite if anything! And the end seems to get ever further away! As mouldy oldies we are getting our jabs in a couple of weeks but even that doesn’t appear to make that much difference. We can still become spreaders and it’s not until we get the second jab that the vaccine really becomes effective and goodness knows when that will be. Argh, the joys of COVID!Pat's scones

The Ununited Kingdom

Speaking of spreaders, Boris Johnston decided, a couple of days back, to grace Scotland with a whistle-stop tour. Goodness knows why? He must know that he is pretty much universally loathed north of the border. And of course the trip broke all the rules that apply to everyone else who has to live with the disastrous consequences of Westminster’s pathetic handling of the crisis. Increasingly  people realise that  many key government functions are only weakly anchored centrally. It’s London-centric credibility has been weakened and the UK now looks more and more like a fractured state. Then there’s Brexit!

Approval ratings

At the moment neither the Tories nor Labour have a snowball’s chance in hell of being elected in Scotland and as long as Boris maintains his current attitude he will remain the SNP’s most effective recruiting sergeant. Recently, in a poll, Nicola Sturgeon gained the highest approval rating of any UK politician  … and that’s in England where she holds no sway! Remarkable!

Withdrawal

So, Pat’s scones, what about them? In the last few posts we’ve done skillingsboller and we’ve done pumpernickel, neither of which have anything much to do with scones. To be fair, we have done a scone but it was from Australia.  That’s all very well but scone withdrawal symptoms eventually became fairly severe. It’s come to this, we have resorted to making our own. Not for the first time, of course, but we don’t normally resort to such drastic measures. To get the full scone experience you really need to go out and capture them in their natural habitat.  We were also having to do without the assistance of the two small Vikings we have deployed on some recent occasions. They were doing  schooling from home.

Pat made quite a large batch and then gave me two different presentations. Pat's scone with cream and jamPat's scone with cream and jamOne with a bowl of cream and a pot of homemade blackcurrant and gooseberry jam. Every thing was deliciousPat's scone with cream and crab apple jellyThe other came with  cream and crab-apple jelly. What’s not to like? Thankfully she did not ask me to judge which was best but suffice to say they were both fab! Can’t award a topscone because then that would infer that you could come and visit and sample them for yourselves … but you can’t! Nobody can! The joys of COVID!

A scone in the shape of a heartThis was my favourite. Very small and presented just on its own I think it was supposed to convey some sort of message. Aww!

Just heard that toilet brushes have become the official symbol of the Russian protests in support of Alexei Navalny. It’s a crazy mixed up world!

Keep safe everyone!

Scones, Uncategorized

Ramblings from Oz

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With the UK officially the worst country in the world for it’s handling of COVID, here’s a question! What do you do when you can no longer go out on scone adventures? What do you do when sconology grinds to a shuddering halt? And WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN ALL HOPE IS LOST? Okay, that’s three questions but you get the drift and no, the answer is not “phone the Samaritans”. The answer, of course, is to turn to our Bathurst correspondents in New South Wales. Unlike us, they have a government that does have a scoobie and, therefore, are not as restricted. They’ve sent us a wide ranging report covering isoglosses, cricketing legends and telephone boxes … and scones.. It’s modestly entitled Ramblings from Oz. You will see , however, that antipodean COVID life is not entirely straight forward either.

In their own words:

Sconeless in Sofala

Some time ago two friends of ours opened a café called the Painted Horse in Sofala, a quaint old gold mining town about 50 km from our home in Bathurst.

Julie Young in Rustic Cafe, Sofala
One of our Bathurst correspondents reflecting on normal life before her husband started taking an interest in scones. Taken at the scoreless Rustic Cafe in Sofala

They made scones to die for ! The downside is, I somehow deleted the photo I took on my phone, so there is no proof.  And there is more downside. The café closed down when Covid hit, and has been closed for the past 10 months or so. It has reopened with new owners, but no sign of our friends Nick and Kate.  We called in there a couple of weeks ago but not a scone to be seen, just some tired looking sausage rolls.

Covid 19

We are surviving pretty well Covidwise, just a handful of new cases every day in each state.  As soon as there is a bit of a flare-up in one state or another, the state Premiers start closing borders willy-nilly. We were supposed to meet our son and family at Victor Harbour, south of Adelaide this week, then bang, the NSW/SA border slammed shut and we had to cancel our house booking.  Then two days later the border was reopened.  All is not lost though as we have re-booked for the end of February. Here’s hoping we can get through then.

Isogloss

Not a word I had ever come across.  But your bit about how “scone” is pronounced in Ireland a few blogs ago was intriguing. You may recall that I referred to the town of Scone in one of my poems.  Well, Scone is pronounced to rhyme with “phone”. Here we have to take issue with our correspondents because normal pronunciation for the former home of the Stone of Destiny is actually “skoon”. Such are the  linguistic problems with English

Scones

Today we drove down to a place called Berrara where friends have a holiday house right on the coast.  scones in BowralWe are here for a few days, as travel within NSW is not restricted by Covid.  On the way we had morning tea with Julie’s sister and husband who live in a town called Bowral, which incidentally is where Donald Bradman started his cricket career. What did we get for morning tea, you guessed it, scones, of the savory kind, with cheese and fennel.  No faux pas on my part this time, wanting cream and jam, as was the case with the pumpkin scones of yesteryear.

Phone Boxes

Telephone box in Kangaroo ValleyAnd on the way, what should we see, not one, but two red phone boxes, sort of Siamese twins, in a town called Kangaroo Valley. Complete with black box and buttons A and B.  Not sure if they were actually working phones, or just a tourist prop, as Kangaroo Valley is a bit of a tourist trap. Never seen anything like that before. It certainly was not made in Falkirk.

As ever, we are indebted to A&J, our Bathurst correspondents. Your contributions are always extremely welcome. We also envy your ability to leave your house … forgotten what that’s like! It’s ironic  that Trump has gone and we still can’t go out safely!

Remember Gordon Brown, former Labour PM who was wheeled out by the Conservatives to spread gloom and doom during the 2014 Scottish Independence referendum. The Conservatives were too scared to come north of the border. In the style of Trumpery he told lie after lie and promised all would be well if we just stuck by the Union. Well, like the Creature From The Black Lagoon, he has emerged again to tell us that the UK is a failed state. Tell us something we don’t know Gordon. Scotland was telling you that in 2014 and has regretted heeding anything that came out of your mouth ever since.

“Fair fa’ your honest, sonsie face, Great chieftain o the puddin’-race!” Tonight is Burns night which brings about the annual cull of hagisses. It’s the only way to keep the numbers down. We’ve only got a small one and it’s even smaller once the legs are off. Slàinte mhaith, enjoy yours!

Scones, Uncategorized

Scottish empire biscuits

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Having brought you Norwegian boller and German pumpernickel we thought something Scottish was somewhat overdue. So here we bring you Scottish empire biscuits! In some places they are called German biscuits but their origin actually lies with the Austrian Empire.

preparing empire biscuits
empire biscuits before assembly

These are a family favourite and always near the top of the list when visiting local cafés.  They are made of two shortbread biscuits glued together with jam, (like a jammy dodger)  covered with white water icing on and topped off with a glace cherry. Remember “topped off with a place cherry” for later. You can get a recipe here. 

Sensible human beings
preparing empire biscuits
one sensible human being icing empire biscuits

We made them with the assistance of the same two small Vikings we utilised in the skillingsboller post. Of course Scottish empire biscuits should ideally be made by a Scottish person. Both these small Vikings are a wee bit silly but thankfully they are half Scottish so if you add both these halves together you end up with one sensible Scottish human being … yeah!

Thrift

We started by making the individual biscuits then sticking them together with some jam before the fun part … icing. My mother was champion baker in Falkirk over many years and her name was on the trophy so many times it became embarrassing.  She used to make great empire biscuits and when entering a competition she always used at least half a cherry on top. And she would win first prize! When baking for the family, however, she gained notoriety by ever putting one sixteenth of a cherry on top. Such duplicitous behaviour typified my upbringing … it’s amazing I ended up as the well rounded character you know today. Her extreme thriftiness meant that, sometimes, I was even forced to help her cut them up! 

Scottish empire biscuits
empire biscuits

Anyway, enough of my rather silly mother, our one sensible Scottish human being had particular ideas about decoration. No glace cherries of any size (we didn’t have any) but all sorts of unicorns, rainbows and jelly tots instead … just  little bit silly. Must be the Viking side creeping in! We could be super critical about the shape and finish of the end results but we don’t wish to hurt anyone’s feelings. They were absolutely delicious. At least as good as any we have had anywhere! A mini triumph for a sensible Scottish human being!

These biscuits became known to more global audience when they featured during a hearty meal in Pixar’s Scottish fantasy film Brave. And once Scotland, as one of the last colonial remnants of the British Empire gains its independence, they may become known simply as “Scottish biscuits” … yeah!

Celebrations

With only hours to go before Trump leaves the White House, it is cause for celebration. Not only that but it’s followed a few days later by an even bigger one … Burns night.

wild haggis
wild haggis in the Highlands

Since millions of haggises will be eaten by Burns’ officianados toasting the life and times of our national bard we feel, particularly for our overseas readers, that some reassurance is required. Although there are some people who actually do go out and hunt haggis it is essentially an unnecessary pastime. You can find tips on how to catch a haggis here. The truth of it is that haggises have the same sacrificial instincts as cliff jumping lemmings. However, haggises stampede down off the hills and jump directly onto plates all over Scotland. No cruelty is involved … honest!

Scones, Uncategorized

Devil’s Fart

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No, we are not talking about Boris or Donald Trump! Devil’s fart is probably more widely known as pumpernickel, a dense German rye bread that’s name actually means “devil’s fart”. Apparently it has flatulence inducing properties. Never having experienced flatulence we thought it might be interesting to try it! pack of pumpernickelAnd if the packaging is anything to go by it may have other properties as well!! Okay, okay, if this all smacks of desperation then so be it. London is in danger of being overwhelmed by COVID so restrictions are becoming ever stricter everywhere. Who knows, the way things are going, we may not be allowed to look out the window, never mind go on sconing adventures.

Internationalism

The implications for our readers continuing education is worrying, however. Hence, following our previous post on Norwegian skillingsboller, we now bring you the German devil’s fart. It comes courtesy of our Münster correspondents who gave us some as a present. Many thanks to them for introducing us to pumpernickel and helping expand the cultural horizons of our readers.

Bad smells

It used to be found only in north west Germany but now you can get it pretty much anywhere. That said, European and American pumpernickel are different. The American pumpernickel has added ingredients and a higher baking temperature to provide shorter production times. Why oh why does the US need everything ‘fast’? Just chillax and do it properly! Perhaps, with Trump and his compadres only remaining as a bad smell, they may be able to do just that. Or is that wishful thinking?

pumpernickel unwrapped
Pumpernickel loaf unwrapped

So how do you eat pumpernickel?  As novices we started by slicing it the wrong way, before realising it was already sliced. It’s pretty solid and a little bit sticky so tends to appear like one solid dark block when it’s unwrapped. A bit like a pack of cheese slices. Not an auspicious start but how would it taste? That’s all that matters after all! In order to give it a fighting chance we decided to try it with a variety of toppings – cheese and ham, cheese  tomato and chutney, salami and mustard … and lastly just with some homemade plum jam.

Honest, officer!

selection of pumpernickel bitesThe bread itself has a grainy texture and a slightly sweet flavour that’s unusual but quite pleasant. Pat gave top marks to the cheese and ham. My preference was for the salami and mustard though all of them were actually very good. Will we be rushing out in search of devil’s fart? Well, if we cannot go out for scones then we can hardly go out for that. What would we tell the police if stopped? We’ll let you know about the flatulence … or maybe not!

ps: Our pumpernickel was a present and this week we received another. A parcel of framed photos from fellow photographer Dave Hunt. He operates from his Wildgrass Studio in beautiful Glen Lyon and specialises in vintage and fine art photography. Some time back we helped him experiment with his wet plate collodion technique. None of this instant digital nonsense for Dave, no, no, no!  He has to coat a plate of glass with light sensitive material, expose it in the camera while still wet and develop it all within about fifteen minutes. If it’s not quite right you just start again … simple!wet plate photo of Pat and I

He misplaced the plates during a house move but found them again recently and sent them on. How can we describe the results? “Brilliantly vintage”, perhaps … just like the sitters! The wonderful thing is that the 5″x4″ plate is completely unique … not another like it. Many thanks Dave, we love them all. Dave also says that these images should last for 200 – 300 years … and to let him know if they don’t. If you find life a bit too fast you can find out about this technique at one of Dave’s workshops. Can’t guarantee he will have such fantastic subjects though.

Scones, Uncategorized

Skillingsboller

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2020 wasn’t exactly a year to remember what with plague ravaging the country and mad politicians reaching new levels of lunacy. These things are mere trifles, however, when we tell you that the government has now told us to cease all sconological research forthwith! Sacre bleu! Okay, they didn’t actually get in touch with us specifically and tell us to desist  but they may as well.  Current COVID restrictions mean that we are not supposed to leave home except to care for others. We thought sconology fitted that brief perfectly but apparently, it doesn’t!  So, in order to further your knowledge and broaden your cultural horizons we bring you skillingsboller … a sort of Norwegian scone equivalent.

Happy New Year

But first we would like to wish a happy new year to all our readers and correspondents, we hope that 2021 is much better than the past year. 2020 was memorable for having absolutely nothing whatsoever to commend it. A complete disaster. It did, however, serve to demonstrate the difference between the EU and the UK.

The ‘U’ stands for ‘Unity’ in both their names but the five years of negotiations combined with coronavirus have had opposite effects in both states. On one hand the 27 countries of the EU showing admirable unity with a show of democracy in action. On the other hand the totally undemocratic UK falling apart at the seams with it’s ‘Unity’ under unprecedented strain.  All seventeen of the most recent opinion polls showing a clear majority in favour of Scottish independence and N.Ireland, is now left  closer to Dublin than London. Even England’s long-standing bedfellow, Wales, is getting fed up up with the Boris shambles and Westminster’s inane dictatorial style. And lo-and-behold, on top of all that we now have part of the Tory party launching a campaign to rejoin the EU. Aaargh! As messes go, this is pretty messy.

Coffee and boller

Enough of all that! Thanks to a Viking son-in-law we used to spend a lot of time in Norway. Being there was fantastic but of course there were no scones. They did however have boller (pronounced ‘bolly’) which are to Norwegians what croissants are to the French or scones are to the Brits. They are made with cardamon spice and can often have raisins or even chocolate chips in them. Absolutely delicious. We became addicted and ‘coffee and boller’ quickly became part of the daily routine.

On this occasion, being at home without access to boller or scones of any kind, we decided to make skillingsboller. It’s a derivative of boller,  a kind of cinnamon bun. Obviously you need a recipe but you also need the help of one big Viking and two small ones. This may be a problem for most folks but not for us … because we are blessed with all three!

rolling out the boller mixture

Don’t make skillingsoller if you are in a hurry. It’s not something you can rush. It takes 2-3 hours at least. But then, why would you be in a rush when you can’t even leave home? Get baking! Be warned though, if you decide to utilise the two small Vikings it can take even longer. Particularly at the icing stage!

Suffice to say that the resulting skillingsboller was absolutely delicious, a major triumph for all concerned.

What do you want?

Emboldened by success our Vikings then went on to make normal boller. holemade Norwegian bollerDon’t they look delish! If you can’t be bothered making them you can always visit United Bakeries in Oslo. There, you will find lots of boller of all kinds and a huge bowl of strawberry jam that you just help yourself to. Ah, memories! Boller is not a scone but if 2020 taught us anything it was that sometimes we can’t have everything we want. Hopefully in the not too distant future we will all have the ability to travel again and get what we want, what we really really want … sorry! Until then stay safe  wherever you are!

Scones, Uncategorized

Balgove Larder

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When we got an email from our ever inventive Bathurst correspondent entitled “scones and phone boxes” we were delighted. Always keen to learn more about life down under we were full of anticipation. Perhaps another New South Wale’s scone? Perhaps a kangaroo outside a K6 phone box somewhere in the outback? So imagine our surprise when we discovered that nothing could be further from the truth. The scone news came from the Balgove Larder in St Andrews, about an hour’s drive from where we live and the telephone boxes were all local too i.e. in the UK. Who would have thought we would be getting our local sconological news from the antipodeas?

Strange things happen

Of course, there’s an explanation. Our correspondent has family near St Andrews and the pictures were from his last visit, about two years ago. Is getting local news like this weird or wonderful? We think it’s wonderful but it may also be a bit weird. Our correspondent laments the fact that he has no idea if and when he will again be allowed to visit St Andrews where his daughter and grandchildren live. Weirdly, even though it is very close to us, we are not allowed to visit either. Such are the joys of global coronavirus restrictions!

A scone at Balgove LarderIf memory serves our correspondent well, Balgove Larder was a lovely venue and the scone was also excellent. It certainly looks good and nicely presented with plenty jam and cream. Oviously Pat and I will do our utmost to confer a grading here as soon as we are allowed to travel again. Oooo, “conferring” topscone awards … sounds a bit pretentious doesn’t it. Note to self: must stay grounded!

Lunar outbursts

While the UK adjusts to renewed lockdown apparently President Trump has reported a huge dump of his votes on the moon. He has a friend who is an astronaut, a terrific astronaut, he has a telescope and he has seen them. Now, dear reader, if you wondered, even for a nanosecond, if that was true it pretty much sums up the state of American politics at the moment. Sad, sad! If Trump loses we may even miss these extraordinary outbursts. We can adjust, however. 

KY16 9SF         tel: 01334 898145        Balgove

///ripen.hotel.class

ps: Not content with simply sending us Scottish scone news from Australia our correspondent also sent some phone box pics.

K6 phone ones from Bathurst correspondent
Julie demonstrating how a remote Welsh K6 door works near Tregaron and a St Andrews Lion K6 on the right in Hepburn Gardens with our correspondents grandchildren Molly and Annie

Lo-and-behold, no sooner had our Bathurst correspont sent in his report than another one popped up … wow! This one described an autumn walk our Devon correspondents took the other day. No scones but they did spot this phone box in the village of Filleigh. Readers all know by now that we regard Devon folks as being fairly uncivilised. Goodness, cream first, what do they expect?

Filleigh K6 in Devon
A Devon K6 and some beautiful autumn colours

If further proof was needed here is the picture they sent of a Devon ‘red’ telephone box. It’s used as the village library.

We are, as always, indebted to each and every one of our correspondents. They enrich our lives (and hopefully yours) wonderfully.

Scones, Uncategorized

The Little Big Dairy Company

1 Comment

The Little Big Dairy logoThis post is slightly different.  It doesn’t actually involve any scones directly but rather indicates how to ensure your scone is spoilt rotten by treating it and yourself to some real cream. It’s all part of sconology. According to our New South Welshman correspondent (rides shotgun for our Bathurst correspondent), cream doesn’t come any better than that produced by the Little Big Dairy Company and its herd of 800 Holstein cows. In his own words, here’s why:

“The first Saturday in September is Father’s Day in New South Wales (remember we are no longer Australians, but a collection of warring states). Little big Australian real creamYour Bathurst corespondent’s loving daughter presented a most wonderful jar of health-giving cream, from a small family-owned ethical dairy. Food for thought.  In my childhood milk was extracted from a happy cow, placed in a large bowl in the fridge, and later the cream scooped from the top with a large spoon. Oh, bliss!   Occasionally a separator was used— awful to wash up.  At the same time, most farm kids had lumps or scars in their necks from bovine TB. Scottish milk was described (in Microbiology lectures in the late 1960s) as “ Tuberculous Pus”

Public health rules have undoubtedly produced many benefits, but pondering the origins of our food is important. Most milk in Western countries is now produced in industrial factories. Cows in sheds, no sunshine, no happy days playing in green grass. Cream emerges from the end of a factory, great distances from the cow

Jam on top?

Little big Australian real cream
Stand your spoon up cream

Your Bathurst correspondent was in heaven eating his ethical cream on fresh scones. (It’s so thick it must be eaten in the Devon way— cream first, jam on top — even if YOUR Queen disagrees). Pay a bit more, get the real stuff”.

Fantastic, more power to the Little Big Dairy Company! However, we may have to agree with Her Majesty about cream placement … no matter how thick it is! We would like to say that we were not around in the 60s to enjoy “ Tuberculous Pus” but of course we were. Happily, we can report wonderful silky smooth necks though some say that’s due to continuous use of Brasso. Unfortunately, for most readers, you have to live in New South Wales to enjoy the benefits of the Little Big Dairy Company’s produce. In this globalised world, however, it would not surprise us if someone started importing Little Big cream to the UK. Crikey, we complain about Scotland importing Rodda’s Cornish cream.

Good riddance

He also comments on some political news. Even though he says Australia is now a collection of warring states they all seem to have come together in a show of unity to say “good riddance” to former Prime Minister of Australia, Tony Abbott. In case you don’t know, in yet another of Boris’s brain farts, he has appointed Abbott as an official trade adviser to the UK. “Thank you so much for taking Tony Abbott off our hands. If “ The Mad Monk “ is your answer, what is your question??   Our pugilistic, misogynist, climate change denying, failed ex-Prime Minister will happily negotiate away anything you value. Goodbye NHS, affordable pharmaceuticals, any health, ethical or environmental regulations. Welcome chlorinated chicken and any man-made toxin now banned in the EU. Please keep him. He and Boris obviously get on very well.”

Mystery?

No wonder they get on very well! Boris Johnson says that Abbott was elected by the “great liberal democratic nation of Australia”, but he fails to note that Abbott broke almost every election promise he ever made. Abbott reckons climate change is “absolute crap” and as far as we know he has never negotiated a trade deal in his life. Maybe Boris just wants some advice on how to cope with being ditched after only one term in government. How do eejits like Abbott, Johnson and Trump get elected to the highest office in the first place? It’s a mystery! It’s unbelievable!

Our New South Welshman ends reassuringly: “We are surviving well by finding small pleasures in life, like a shared liking of scones”. Nice to think that on the opposite side of the world we are surviving in exactly the same way. Many thanks JB, keep up the good work.

Dubbo NSW 2830           tel: +61 02 6887 3443          Little Big Dairy

///basher.fashioning.sour

K2 telephone box
FMF hope to persuade BT to reinstall a K2 in the High Street … the only K2 in Scotland.

ps: Our telephone box enthusiasts will be pleased to hear that our little organisation Falkirk Made Friends (FMF) have convinced BT to take away all removal notices from the town’s telephone boxes and persuaded the local Council to adopt three of them. Falkirk manufactured the first K2 boxes in 1926 and, over the years, most of the subsequent K4s and K6s. The town was within a week or so of completely losing this iconic symbol of its industrial heritage. There is much more work still to be done to ensure their future in the form of an Iron Heritage Trail. In the meantime, we would be grateful for photographs of telephone boxes from anywhere in the world.