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Scones, Uncategorized

Platinum Jubilee

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Don’t think you could ever call us Royalists. That system of privilege and patronage seems better suited to a bygone era and totally at odds with modern day life. Odd as it may seem, we have actually met most of the Royal family (all except Andrew … phew!) and they all seem like really nice people. We’re pretty sure they do not want to spend their lives under the microscope of public and media scrutiny so why oh why are we allowed to do it to them? The fact that the Queen is celebrating her Platinum Jubilee is, of course, a personal triumph for her but given that all other news has apparently been cancelled we’re glad it only happens once every seventy years.

We’ll do anything!

Not wanting to appear too curmudgeonly, however, we ordered a Platinum Jubilee box from Haar At Home in St Andrews. Haar is a restaurant run by Masterchef Finalist, Dean Banks and we use it from time to time. You order it online and then it just appears at the door. It’s a kind of magic! The box had all sorts of stuff – smoked trout, a variety of cheeses, olives, chutney, pickle salad, chorizo, cheese and leek bread, caviar  … and, wait for it, scones with jam and clotted cream. Okay, okay, it’s pathetic, we’ll do anything for a scone.

There was far too much just for just the two of us so we had the pleasure of the company of our Trossachs correspondents to help us out. They did an excellent job though the meal was not without its difficulties. Do any of you have problems accessing your caviar? We did! caviar from Haar for the Platinum JubileeTry as we might we simply could not open the tin … imagine, so near yet so far. It became hilarious as the four of us came up with ever more incredulous ways of tackling it. Eventually the answer was to go to the garage and get a set of grips. The tin had to become pretty mangled before the top reluctantly popped off. Was it worth all the effort? Yes, everything was lovely and well worth the platinum amount of money we paid for it.

Uncategorised

Anyway we know that none of you are actually interested in our caviar traumas … just scones, right? scones for the Platinum JubileeWell, they came with a generous tub of strawberry gin jam (I wasn’t driving) and another of clotted cream. The scones were really nice but a little on the big side for our taste. The chances of Charles being on the throne for seventy years are slim to say the least so none of you will ever get to sample a Platinum Jubilee scone ever again. Devastating, we know! In these circumstances we didn’t think it appropriate to categorise them. Good fun though!

meal from Haar for the Platinum Jubilee
In case you are wondering, this is what our Platinum meal looked like

What comes after Platinum?

Scones, Uncategorized

Coffee 1

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All good things must come to an end so this post finds us on our way north again after a fab time on the south coast. It’s bitter sweet … good to be heading home and at the same time sad to be leaving family behind. All we have to do is reverse the road trip we did to get down here. We’re taking a slightly different route and our first stop is in Warminster in Wiltshire … at the Coffee 1 café to be precise.

High Street, Warminster
Warminster High Street

In 1086 the Doomsday Book refered to the town as Guerminstre.  so it’s not hard to see how it ended up as Warminster. It may be famous for many things but after this post it will also be famous for its lack of tearooms – one closed for refurbishment, one a huge chain that doesn’t do scones and this one. And this one didn’t do scones either! “We might have them in again for the summer” they said.  Scones are not swallows for goodness sake, they’re not migratory. They are perfectly happy to be eaten all year round. (Please let us know if you sense we are getting grumpier, it’s difficult for us to tell).Internal view of Coffee 1, Warminster

Also, only one toilet in the entire place, what’s that all about? Do you know how long a woman (or a man) with a baby can be in a toilet? If you need to go it can seem like an eternity and unfortunately for us there were several women with babies ahead of us in the queue. We’re not sure what should be banned – places with only one toilet or women (men) with babies? Okay, we do sense an increase in grumpiness!

Sconeless

A tea cake at Coffee 1, WarminsterIn the absence of scones we had little choice but to opt for a teacake. A poor substitute but what can you do? As it turned out our teacake was rather good and they had even toasted it for us so we really have a cheek to complain. But it wasn’t a scone!! If you ever find yourself in Warminster, be warned, it is a sconeless place!

Song contests

Walking through Warminster we came on a rather nice little arcade. Warminster folks are obviously getting geared up for the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee.

Elsewhere things are gearing up for that surreal of surreal things, the final of the Eurovision Song Contest. As if the planet didn’t have enough problems, it’s being broadcast across the world tonight. Russia has been banned … is this the reason for Putin’s inexplicable fury?

BA12 9AN     01985 213118.         Coffee 1  

///steepest.incomes.careless

Scones, Uncategorized

Tattie Bogle’s

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Russia and it’s people are not exactly flavour of the month these days but, of course, that’s very unfair. Russians are just like the rest of us. They are not all evil despots like Putin, just like we in the UK, are not all bumbling idiots. Anyway, in a miniscule way, this post will try and redress the problem even though we may get accused of being diverted away from the main purpose of this blog.

It’s all about a new enterprise in Falkirk called Tattie Bogle’s. It’s a healthy eating place that tries to minimise packaging and it’s owned by a husband and wife team. She is Scottish and he’s Russian … lovely folk and passionate about what they do.Internal view of Tattie Bogle's

Scary stories

Some of you who are not so familiar with Scottish terminology may be wondering about the name Tattie Bogle’s. A  tattie is a potato here in Scotland as in tattie scone, mince and tatties etc etc. Bogle refers to something scary, as in bogeyman. When you put the two together you end up with a human like form standing amongst crops to scare off unwanted visitors … a scarecrow! Loving parents all over Scotland would tell their children elaborate stories about tattie bogles to scare them half to death.

So Tattie Bogle’s is not a cafe or restaurant, it’s a kind of old-fashioned organic ethical grocers selling, amongst lots of other things, locally sourced fresh fruit and veg. You take along your own containers to cut down on packaging. We are definitely in favour of that … packaging seems to be a modern day curse. They even get their organic milk from Robert Burns’s Mossgiel Farm in Ayrshire. Having said it’s not a cafe it does have a couple of tiny tables where you can sit and have coffee. It was a fabulous sunny day so we thought we would see if they had any scones (we do try to stay on message).

Bavarian croissant, empire biscuits and snowballs
Freshly baked Bavarian croissants, empire biscuits and snowballs

No, no scones but they did have some other delicious looking baking. Bavarian chocolate croissant at Tattie Bogle'sThis is where we got diverted … no scones were harmed in this post. We ended up getting a Bavarian chocolate croissant to share. When we asked for a knife, however, we were told “no knives“. Gosh they really are serious about this no wastage thingy. No matter, Pat ripped it in half with her bare hands. It was delicious and if we were dishing out top-croissant awards this would definitely have qualified.

Brute strength

It was very pleasant sitting there in the sunshine so we decided to prolong our stay with an empire biscuit. An empire biscuit at Tattie Bogle'sNot even a plate this time, just a brown paper bag. Again, Pat just grabbed it and broke it in half. She can be absolutely ruthless when she wants. Having said that, I got the half with the cherry. don’t mistake this for altruism or generosity … she doesn’t like cherries!

Tattie Bogle’s sources its produce with consideration for people, animals and the environment We found its simple ‘back to basics ethos when it comes to health quite refreshing. Let’s have more more Scots/Russian collaborations, more power to their collective elbow!

​We would, however, like less power for Putin’s elbow You could say that he’s a bit of a tattie bogle, he has managed to successfully keep the West at bay after all. From his point of view nuclear weapons are actually a very successful deterrent. They’ve certainly paralysed the West militarily and allowed him to do pretty much as he pleases.

FK1 1JQ     tel: 01324 227718.     Tattie Bogle

///jaws.jungle.calculating

Scones, Uncategorized

MacMillan Coffee Morning

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Back in 2019 Pat ran a MacMillan Coffee Morning and raised over £500 which we thought was absolutely tremendous. Last year, of course, it was cancelled because of COVID. This year she thought she would try again. It’s easy to agreed to run one of these events in April when September is still almost six months away. Suddenly, however, it’s September and you realise that there is a lot involved in getting such an event off the ground …. aaaargghh!Publicity for MacMillan Coffee Morning

The MacMillan organisation has given our family much appreciated support over the years. So, no matter how much is involved, we feel almost duty bound to try and repay in some small way. The MacMillan Coffee Mornings are a very pleasurable way of doing exactly that.

Lion poo

invitations were distributed round the neighbourhood over a fortnight ago but would anybody come … that was the question? Of course they did and yesterday our house was packed to bursting.Friends at the MacMillan Coffee Morning

One of the nice things about these events is that fact that people are so happy to help in any way they can. Cakes galore appeared as if by magic as did biscuits, tarts and all sorts of other goodies. Folk also brought plants and things to sell or use as raffle prizes … amazing! We even had a box of lion poo to raffle!

And guess what, one guest even brought a whole tray of homebaked scones … yeah! A scone at MacMillan Coffee MorningThe house was stuffed with people and while Pat and I mingled  our friends worked themselves to te bone making sure everything went like clockwork We are so lucky! I even had time to sample the scones. They all looked great, just the right size and soft with just a hint of crustiness on the exterior. Together with apple jelly and whipped cream they would have been an easy topscone had it not been for the fact that none of our readers will ever be able to sample them. That’s not a whole lot of use so we’ve had to leave them as ‘uncategorised’. Fab sconesthoughFriends at the MacMillan Coffee Morning

Generosity

We’ve left out carping about politicians in this post because this is much more important … they can wait for our disgruntlement. At the moment we are very happy, because it was a wonderful couple of hours. Publicity for MacMillan Coffee MorningTo us it reaffirmed just how wonderful people are! Either by helping in all sorts of ways but also by their extraordinary generosity. MacMillan Coffee Mornings were going being  held all over the world at the same time as ours. If you consider that our relatively modest event has  raised the amazing amount £1,250 so far there must have been a lot of money donated to MacMillan yesterday. And quite right too! If any readers feel like contributing even more you can use this QR code.QR code for MacMillan Coffee MorningThe winner of the lion poo just cannot believe his luck!

Many thanks to everyone concerned but particularly to Henry’s Coffee Company and Cafe Corvina for their very generous support.

 

Scones, Uncategorized

Panko crusted balls

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What, we hear you cry! What are panko crusted balls?  And, more the point, what have they go, to do with scones. Well, just hold on a minute and we’ll try and justify this post. 

The main reason is that these wee beauties are a kind of by-product of scones. They are in fact scones without the sugar and without the fruit. Next time you are making scones just set a little of your mixture aside before you put the sugar in and you can make these little savoury balls.Panko breaded balls

Once you have rolled the dough into perfectly formed orbs of deliciousness, all you have to do is cover them with panko breadcrumbs and bake them in the oven until they’re golden brown. We know … just when you thought you knew what a breadcrumb was, those cunning Japanese come up with a new more exotic variety. Typical! Panko crusted balls are for dipping. Tasty with sour cream and chive sauce, curry sauce or anything other sauce that takes your fancy.Panko breaded balls with scones

Bingo, scones and panko crusted balls all at the same time! What more justification do you need? Well, perhaps the main reason for making this post was to have a moan at Boris and his pals who currently rule over us. Their corrupt government at Westminster seems to get deeper and deeper in sleaze by the minute. But then that’s hardly surprising … or even news! Though they will need a bigger carpet to sweep it all under.

ABOMINATION

And here’s another justification, as if any more were needed! An article in the Guardian has been brought to our attention. It is about slab scones?!You are supposed to fill a baking tray with scone mixture then, when it’s baked, cover the whole thing with clotted cream and decorate with strawberries. Sacre bleu!

Slab scones are an abomination and cannot be allowed. The Guardian, of all newspapers, should have known better than to publish such ridiculous nonsense. As you read this we are already preparing our protest placards in the best Father Ted tradition … DOWN WITH THIS SORT OF THING!

Scones, Uncategorized

Aberdeen butteries

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WARNING 1: if you want to live as long as the Duke of Edinburgh do not eat too many of these. WARNING 2: if you fancy making some Aberdeen butteries set a whole a day aside.

By this time you may be wondering why we are making them. Well, principally because we were prodded with a big pointy stick by one of our Trossachs correspondents. She was brought up eating Aberdeen butteries in Burghead, one of our favourite places. It is home to one of Scotland’s best eating establishments, the Bothy Bistro … banana and bacon croissants to die for! Burghead also has two New Years. One on the 1st January (a kind of light rehearsal) and and then another on the 14th. The 14th is the Julian calendar new year and they celebrate it with Burning the Clavie.

the Clavie King
with the Clavie King at The Bothy

The Clavie King goes all round the town to the Doorie Hill carrying a blazing barrel of tar on a pole above his head. And then the whole town dances in the street until the wee small hours. It’s great fun. Not sure if this sort of behaviour has anything to do with them eating Aberdeen butteries but it may well be a contributory factor.

Rowies

Oddly, in Aberdeen itself  these butteries are more commonly known as ‘rowies’. “The toonsers ca’ them rowies and the teuchters ca’ them butteries,” most probably said by a resident of Aberdeen. We must be teuchters! They have also been referred to as “evil bricks of tasty.” You’ll understand why when we take you through the making process but maybe just a look at the ingredients will give you a clue: 250g butter, 125g lard, 1 tablespoon soft brown sugar, 500g flour, 2 teaspoons of dried yeast, 450ml warm water, pinch of salt … there’s a lot of fat! preparation of Aberdeen butteriesFirst you make a paste with sugar, yeast and a little warm water. Then mix the flour and salt and add the yeast paste once it has bubbled up. Leave it for 30-40 minutes to rise.preparation of Aberdeen butteries

Then cream the butter and lard and divide it into three equal portions. When the dough has doubled in size, give it another good knead and roll it into a rectangle about 1cm thick. Spread one of the butter portions over two thirds of the dough. Fold the unbuttered bit over half of the buttered bit then fold the rest over to make three layers then roll it out again to its original size … phew! Leave for 40 minutes in the fridge.

Yawn!

Then you do all that again using the rest of the lard/butter portions … TWICE! By the time we had done all that it was getting near our bedtime! Then divide the dough into 16 pieces and shape into a circle before putting them on your baking tray. Then leave for another 45 minutes until they rise. What … another 45 minutes? It’s now past our bedtime however fear of the big pointy stick drives us on! Finally you can put them in the oven … hallelujah! 15 mins at 200C is all they need … that’s the shortest bit of the whole process!Aberdeen butteries

Trawlermen

We have no idea what these things should look like  except we have heard of them being referred to as “roadkill croissants” and judging by that description we felt we had just about got it right. How do you think they taste? Surprise surprise, buttery … very buttery. Due to the constant layering, the texture is firm but flaky and not at all unpleasant. They were originally made for the Aberdeen fishing industry because they would keep longer than any other bread on lengthy trips at sea. And we can completely understand that a couple of these would easily keep a trawlerman going for a whole day. The “evil bricks of tasty” presumably comes from folks knowing that with each bite they were knocking a month off their lives but were unable to help themselves.Aberdeen butteries

We had ours in various ways … just as they were, lightly toasted with jam, with a sprinkling of salt. All perfectly acceptable. However, we’ve also heard that they are excellent with cheese (preferably roquefort) or even with corned beef? Versatile or what? Anyway, with a bit of luck, the big pointy stick has been put away … for a wee while at least!

David Cameron has ended up in the doodoo for a bit of under the table wheeling and dealing. Wouldn’t be so bad if it didn’t seem to typify this  entire sleazy self serving Tory administration. Probably unfair to tar them all with the same brush, there must be one decent one … musn’t there??

Scones, Uncategorized

Wayzgoose Diner

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More news from our Bathurst correspondents as we in Scotland gently edge towards the same sort of freedom that they enjoy. Freedom to not only leave the house but to venture further afield … and to meet people … yeah! We’re not complaining, we are very happy with the way the whole COVID-19 thing has been handled in Scotland but like everyone else we have almost forgotten what ‘normal’ actually means. In New South Wales our correspondents can at least move around the state … and this little corner of Australia is four times the size of the UK! Anyway, today they made their way to the village of Leura and the Wayzgoose Diner. And what sort of name is that anyway? In their own words:

Welcome to Leura“Today we passed through Leura, a village halfway between our home in Bathurst, and Sydney. A spot we often stop at when travelling to Sydney. As it was coffee time, we called into the Wayzgoose Diner, and decided to sample their scones. To our surprise the scone arrived in a terracotta flowerpot, in which it had been cooked. Quite a nice scone, if a little odd looking with its tapered bottom”.

Flower pot scone at the Wayzgoose Diner
A flower pot scone

Intrigued by the name “Wayzgoose”, and thinking it was some sort of Canadian bird, I googled it and found:

“A wayzgoose was at one time a celebratory dinner given by a master printer to his workmen each year on or about St Bartholomew’s Day (24 August). It marked the traditional end of summer and the start of the season of working by candlelight.”

Working by candlight … those were the days! Our correspondents also sent these clippings about the Country Women’s Association (CWA) from the Sydney Morning Herald.

Sconversations for the anxious and depressedSMH clippings for the Wayzgoose DinerKnead to know


In another cutting a Mrs Whitton explained that the secret of a perfect scone “Don’t knead the dough. Don’t fiddle or keep laying or touching it”. You have been told!

SMH clippings for the Wayzgoose Diner
Mrs Whitton and a tray of 40 scones


As always, a huge thanks to our Bathurst correspondents. But, would you believe it – another Aussie report has just come in! This time from our Brisbane correspondent. We think the intention was to assure Pat and I that not all Australians are as boorish as him.

Apparently, at a recent function, he was belittled, berated and generally ridiculed by colleagues for putting jam on top of the cream on a pikelet (crumpet) he was preparing to eat. Serves him right … not going to get any sympathy from us. But good to hear that Australia is not indulging in those devilishly delinquent Devon ways.

Back in the UK, Boris promised that everything would go back to the way it was once Brexit was achieved. And so it has, one of the few promises he has kept … rioting on the streets of Northern Ireland. Thanks Boris, you could do well to heed Mrs Whitton’s advice.

Scones, Uncategorized

Aussie ramblings

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Whenever we are finding it difficult to bring you fresh scone news we can always rely on our Bathurst correspondents to save the day. They have done it again! This diverse report covers phone boxes, jewellery, handbags and, lo and behold, girdle scones. You know how in the UK at the moment there’s nothing much going on well you’ll be glad to hear that there’s nothing much going on in Australia as well. So no need to fret that you are missing out. Therefore, in the absence of anything going on anywhere our. correspondents said “we’ll just rattle on about a few things … Aussie ramblings”.

“We have just had a week in Victor Harbour south of Adelaide, with our son and family who live in Alice Springs.  We do this every couple of years around Christmas time. They drive the 1500km down from Alice and we drive the 1100km across from Bathurst. Halfway between Victor Harbour and Cape Jervis we spotted this old telephone box at someone’s front gate. Not one of your cast iron jobs, just timber.

Aussie phone box at Victor Harbour
definitely not made in Falkirk

Our son, James, works in leather, making shoes, belts, wallets, handbags, and other bits and pieces, while Elliat, his partner, is a designer, working in jewelry, furniture, and anything else you can think of. 

Aussie girdle sconesToday Julie cooked a batch of girdle scones.  I seemed to have deleted your blog which may or may not have had the recipe. Not to worry, Julie looked them up on the internet, and, voila, with some butter and cheese we had a delicious lunch.

Morrisons

We are of course familiar with the food chain, having had many trips to Aberystwyth and St Andrews in the 10 years since Rebecca and family moved to the UK. However, you might not be as familiar with our Morrison, to wit, our prime minister, Scott.  Scomo to his mates, of which I don’t claim to be one.  He is currently in the poo over his misogynistic leanings, glossing over rape allegations, and general lack of statesmanship.

Welsh Cakes or Sausage Rolls

We have of course sampled Welsh Cakes many times when visiting Aberystwyth. However, they don’t hold a candle to the sausage rolls found there.  Five for 2 pounds, proper sausage meat, incased in delicious flaky pastry.  I am yet to find an equivalent in Australia”.

New health food

So it would seem that Australia’s politicians are not a whole lot different from many of our own. Well, blow me down! As always, many thanks to our Bathurst correspondents for keeping us in the loop and Julie’s girdle scones look fantastic. Shortly after their report came in, however, we got another from their buddy who rides shotgun – New South Welshman. He alerted us to this fantastic piece in ABC News on the wonderful health benefits of eating scones. Just look at this headline:

_______________________________________________________________________

BUNDABERG SCONE QUEEN DOROTHY COLLISHAW TURNS 100Dorothy Collishaw - ABC News

“Laughing, keeping busy and baking scones are the secret to a long and happy life, according to Bundaberg’s “Scone Queen” Dorothy Collishaw. Raised in a Maryborough bakery shop and winning her first baking prize more than 90 years ago, Mrs Collishaw has self-raising flour flowing in her veins and still actively bakes for QCWA meetings and functions.

In 2019, Mrs Collishaw was named an ABC Scone Master as part of a radio series celebrating Queensland’s most passionate scone makers.Dorothy Collishaw - ABC News

This led to the QCWA Bundaberg Branch hosting a highly successful “Scone Festival”, publishing a scone recipe book and even the annual national “Scone Day”on the day the organisation was formed.”

_______________________________________________________________________

They certainly know how to celebrate scones in Queensland. So there you have it! If you want to live to a fit and healthy 100 just  laugh, keep busy and eat scones. 

Portmasamba

After we cast nasturtiums in our previous post at the sanity of the good folk of Portmahomack, Lyn  got in touch to set us straight. “As a member of said Samba Band – PORTMASAMBA- and proud resident of The Port, I wish to reassure all other readers that we in The Port are of sound mind at all times; of wise stock; and welcome folk of all definitions to our beautiful village”. Well, of course, we knew that Lyn. The Port was very welcoming to us and we can’t wait to return.

Portmahomack Main Street
Portmahomack front overlooking the beach
Vivienne at Tarbet Ness
3. year old Vivienne at Tarbat Ness
 
Scones, Uncategorized

Laverbread

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Following our previous post on Welsh Cakes you will all be pleased to hear that “Slightly Miffed of Portmahomack” is now “Delighted of Portmahomack.” Although “delighted” she felt that perhaps we should also cover Laverbread, a seaweed delicacy and the essence of a good Welsh breakfast. By now readers might be thinking that Portmahomack folk must all be slightly mad. The title photo is of some of them down by the harbour passing the time on a very wet afternoon. Reassured??

So, laverbread is made with seaweed, where on earth are we supposed to get that? Just pop down to the coast and pick some? No, no, no, laver is a special kind of seaweed and you can only get the good stuff on the coast of Wales … apparently! Oh, or  in a shop … an online shop, The Fish Society shop to be precise.  They will cater to all your seaweed needs! Don’t say that we don’t go that extra mile for our readers.

raw laver
as it comes from the Fish Society, out of the packet and mixed with oats
Dulse and all that?

Suffice to say we ordered some laver directly from Wales so that the ensuing laverbread would be as authentic as possible. The things we do to placate these Portmahomackians! You’d think they would be too busy watching whales and dolphins? The laver arrived in an alarmingly large box … we didn’t really want a whole load of seaweed so we were relieved when the large box contained only a very small sachet of frozen laver.  Frying laverbreadOnce, when I worked in Belfast someone (they shall remain nameless) gave me some dried dulse. It was revolting! I only had a little but I could still taste it three days later! And that pretty well sums up my seaweed eating career so far. Would this laverbread thing be a better experience?

There is no way that laver could ever look appetising … a kind of dark green sludge. In fact it makes you wonder who thought it was a good idea to eat it in the first place? Anyway, in the interests of expanding our reader’s laverbread knowledge we set about making some. Couldn’t be more simple really … mix it with some oats and lightly fry. Laverbread with fry-upWe had it with some crispy bacon and a fried egg. Interesting in that there was no strong taste, just slightly salty perhaps. Some people compare the taste to oysters, or olives.  We ate it all, however … it’s good for you apparently!

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Laver, laver everywhere!
Scallops with laver and pea puree
Scallops

To give it a fair crack of the whip, at night Pat made me scallops with a pea purree and laver sauce. This was fantastic! Hard to know what was actually going on but the laver seemed to give it a slight salty edge that went well with the rest of the dish. Huragh, a mini laver triumph!What else?Omelette with laverNext day we had an omelette with potatoes and laver. That was excellent as well though I suspect that the omelette would have been none the worse if there had been no laver in it. In Wales laver is sometimes referred to as Black Gold, or the Welshman’s Caviar. Apologies to all laverbread aficionados but we are not at all surprised it hasn’t caught on in Scotland.

Yesterday, the news that Nicola Sturgeon was cleared of any wrongdoing in the Alex Salmond affair has been greeted by the Tories with all the same good grace that Trump accepted his election defeat. Politics will always have divisions but there seems to be a lot more division elsewhere in the world today … skin colour, gender, ethnicity etc. The other day we got an note from singer songwriter, Carrington MacDuffie. It was a quote from Mohamad Safa. “Our world is not divided by race, colour, gender or religion. Our world is divided into wise people and fools. And fools divide themselves by race, colour, gender or religion”. Seemed kind of apt don’t you think? So how come it’s the fools that get to rule the world? Or is that being unduly unkind? All very well for us armchair critics … they are probably all doing their best, poor sods.

Me at Target Ness lighthouse
Me at Tarbat Ness lighthouse, Portmahomack looking towards Wales for more inspiration

 

Scones, Uncategorized

Morrison’s afternoon tea box

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Morrison’s afternoon tea box, okay, maybe this is the actual bottom of the sconology barrel? We have, of course, been here before. About eighteen months ago we were at Morrison’s Café and not only that, we had two mini-Vikings with us. We were buying costumes for Halloween so that we could go round our neighbourhood scaring everyone half to death. Remember … we were once able to do that! Before COVID and Brexit that was called ‘normal’. Anyway, the mini-Vikings abandoned us on Saturday so that they could go back to school in London.  Pat is, once again, flying solo on the baking front.

Surprise

Coronavirus restrictions mean that we are still not allowed to go anywhere. Mind you, everything is closed so there’s nowhere to actually go anyway. In these circumstances we thought it might be worth trying Morrison’s Afternoon Tea Box. The advert looked quite good (see title picture) and it was only £20 or £25 if we wanted to upgrade it with prosecco. And it would be delivered to our door at no extra cost. Predictably perhaps we upgraded … why not? It arrived bang on time and we were excited to see what it would actually be like. We  were more than a little surprised, however, when we opened the box and saw what we had bought.Contents of Morrisons afternoon tea box

DIY

It wasn’t so much an afternoon tea as an afternoon tea kit. More a box of groceries from which it would be possible to make an afternoon tea if you were so inclined.  A whole loaf, a jar of pickle, two boxes of cakes, a large chunk of cheese, a packet of ham, tea bags, carton of milk, big pot of jam and a large (burst) packet of lightly salted crips. Enough to make afternoon teas for a small army. Crickey, we could have just gone to the shop and bought all this stuff.

Morrisons shopping listWe decided to look it all up online and see how much it would have cost if we had done that. Sad, we know but we had nothing better to do! You will see from the results that we would also have been cheaper. We would have saved £0.48. To a tight-fisted Scotsman that’s equivalent to at least two mouthfuls of beer. We really don’t know what Morrisons is thinking about with this product. To be fair, when we went back and checked the advert it did list everything underneath the picture. We should have looked more carefully.

Morrisons all butter sconesAnyway, once we had recovered from the realisation that there was nothing else for it but to knuckle down and make our own afternoon tea. We duly set about making the sandwiches, decanting the cakes and unpacking the scones. Eventually we sat down to relax in front of the fire with the fruits of our labours. 

Experience

It wasn’t like any other afternoon tea we have ever had but all in all it wasn’t that bad. Maybe it was the fact that we had been more involved or maybe it was just that we were nice and cozy and catching up with missed episodes of Coronation Street. Who knows? The scones were okay but nowhere near a topscone. finished product of Morrisons afternoon teaOf course, there was enough in the box to make several more of these afternoon teas but I don’t think we’ll bother. Putting it all down to experience … read the ads carefully!

mini-Vikings back to schoolSo the mini-Vikings are delighted to be back in school with their friends, a huge relief for the home-working parents. Meanwhile Boris Johnson is reportedly building a £9m bunker beneath the Cabinet Office for use in emergencies. Is he thinking of when he refuses another independence referendum for  Scotland. He might need it.