Category Archives: topbagnascone

Scones, topbagnascone, topweird

Callendar House 3

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We’ve reviewed the scones at Callendar House twice before,  once in 2015 and again in 2017. With a seven year gap we thought readers  would be ready for an update.

Wall covering in Callendar House
Wall covering in the tearoom

Callendar House, which used to be owned by the Forbes family, lies about a hundred yards south of the Antonine Wall which the Romans built all the way across Scotland. It formed the northern edge of their Empire. The southern edge was bounded by Arabia and the Sahara desert. They regarded everything south of the Antonine Wall as “civilised” and everything north as “barbaric and more bother than it’s worth”. The Romans are long gone but that view hasn’t changed much over the intervening two millennia. FYI, our house lies on the civilised side … obviously!

Dangers of crinoline dresses

Actually, we just decided to take a walk round the small loch that lies to the east of the house. Something we hadn’t done in a long time. Back in the day, all grand houses had a loch of their own and it wasn’t simply a conceit on the part of the owners. In the absence of any kind of organised public fire fighting service a loch was seen as essential as a readily available water supply in the event of an inferno.

Probably not much use when people like Oliver Cromwell were deliberately trying to set fire to the place but even in peace times, conflagrations  were seen as relatively likely given the number of ladies in crinoline dresses swishing about in front of open fires under a multitude of candelabras. Of course, even if you had your own loch, it would still have been difficult if there was only you and a bucket. You needed servants and lots of them but, of course, that wasn’t a problem for the aristocracy.

Gentrification

If you’ve ever had ambitions, or even just wondered how to become an aristocrat perhaps we can help.  Back in 1783 Callendar House and the Estate that encompassed most of Falkirk was being sold by auction. The Earl of Errol (an oven ready aristocrat) had high ambitions at the auction but was eventually outbid by an upstart scrap merchant, one William Forbes, from Aberdeen. Eyebrows were raised. Not only that, in true scrap merchant style, he pulled the cash from his hip pocket and paid for it on the spot. Subsequently he became Sir William Forbes, 1st Lord of Callendar … and that’s how you join the aristocracy. Common as muck one day and a Knight of the Realm the next! Probably wasn’t quite like that but you catch our drift.Internal view of Callendar House

A new experience

Although Callendar House is pretty much in the centre of Falkirk most towns folk had never been anywhere near it. The Forbes kept it very private. However, in 1963 the local Council took it over, opened it up to the public and established a cafe for non-aristocrats like ourselves. After our walk it was nice to get inside and settle down with some coffee. And we could either have a plain or, surprise, surprise, a milk chocolate and strawberry scone. In the interests of expanding  reader’s sconological knowledge we rather tentatively opted for the latter.

View from tearoom in Callendar House
View from the tearoom


On previous visits we have been quite critical of this tearoom. To us, it never seems to ever reach its full potential. We could still level that accusation now but at least on this occasion there were staff on hand and we were attended to promptly and quite pleasantly if not smilingly.  Still no cream but the scone itself was really nice … no crunchiness but fresh and moist. With this combination there was really no need for jam or cream, it was delicious just with a little butter. A topweird scone!

Provost lamps at Callendar House
Newly refurbished cast iron Provost lamps installed at the back of the house
Agreements

In 1565 the marriage agreement between Mary Queen of Scots and the French Dauphin, Francis was signed in Callendar House. External view of Callendar HouseIt provided that Scotland and France should eventually be united as one kingdom,  We all know how that went. Since then Scotland has been in Europe and then back out again … better to hold onto something if you are starting to feel a bit dizzy. Westminster has now reached some sort of agreement in N.Ireland to restore power-sharing at Stormont. It seems Westminster is going to try to persuade the EU that nothing has changed and that N. Ireland is still in the EU rather than the UK while simultaneously persuading everyone else of the opposite. With Westminster’s well honed skills in duplicity, they may well succeed!

FK1 1YR          tel: 01324 503775         Callendar House Tearoom

///wishes.dozen.parks

Scones, topbagnascone, totallyeffinbrilliantscone

COVID-19 Newsflash

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It’s the start of yet another week in lockdown and although we still haven’t been out, this is not a repost. You can tell because the lettering isn’t red! In our previous post entitled COVID-19 we told you how to distinguish between coronavirus symptoms and those of scone withdrawal. The symptoms of scone withdrawal are, of course, not quite so severe but can still be debilitating. This COVID-19 Newsflash is simply to let you see how a couple of readers have come up with ways of at least alleviating the worst of the effects. Baking their own!

The first is from a couple of local sconeys, B&M. They sent us a photo of M’s attempt at a batch of scones. B, who is presumably in need of a lot of sucking up to his much better half, wondered if there was a category above ‘topscone’?

totallyeffinbrilliantscones
Example of tottallyeffinbrilliantscones. Thumbs up from us but is that homemade accoutrements?

Of course, there isn’t but if this terrible coronavirus situation has taught us anything it is that you have got to be helpful to others and sometimes that means introducing a bit of flexibly. We have therefore introduced the new “totallyeffinbrilliantscone” category for those in B’s precarious situation. Good luck B!


It is very much similar to the branded levitra prescription . Fortunately, you won’t need to go through the condition when levitra prices they are too young to be having sex, but it is not at all common for the person individually. The cervix opens (dilates) during labour, to enable the baby to be sildenafil generic india delivered. Though, this kind of canada cialis 100mg check these guys out is cheap, its work and regulated the best performance. The second is from S&B, our correspondents in the old town of Nice on the Côte d’Azur. The French, as you all know, have limited culinary skills and are therefore incapable of baking a proper scone. Instead, S&B have produced what they feel is an approximation to the real thing. Locally they are called ‘Scone Bagna’ and served with cold pastis tea! Scone Bagna from NiceScone Bagna from NiceFor French folks, they do look good and the presentation, of course, is perfect. But cold pastis tea is a step too far, as is the green stuff! Again, in an effort to be helpful and keep the Auld Alliance intact we are introducing a ‘topbagnascone’ category. Flexible or what? This surely shows that scones and sconeys are going above and beyond in their bid to combat this horrible isolation business. Well done everyone for triumphing in both of these new categories.

BREAKING:

Our Middle East correspondent has just informed us that in Tel Aviv they can now wander 500m from home instead of the previous 100m. Hurrah!

I still have £5.36 in my pocket. Hurrah!

Normal repost service will resume asap! Hurrah!

Keep safe everyone!