Category Archives: Top

These are the best scones we have found so far.

Craobh

27 August 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 5 Comments

Today, we are out wandering with the intention of finding somewhere for dinner in the evening. Not entirely random, however, we do have a little French restaurant called the Barley Bree in mind. It’s in the lovely conservation village of Muthill and we used to go there quite often to visit our aunt. The story gets a little convoluted but bear with us. Unfortunately when we looked it up on the internet it seemed to be closed and up for sale. Phone calls went unanswered. Not to worry, it had been a long time since we had been in this beautiful part of Perthshire so we decided to carry on and find somewhere in the next town, Crieff.

However, when we were driving through Muthill we passed the Barley Bree and Pat thought that it looked as if it was open. We couldn’t stop because of the traffic so we carried on another couple of miles to Crieff. Hence you find us here in the middle of the afternoon in Craobh, slap bang in the centre of town. However, wonder of wonders, in the course of the afternoon we discovered that the Barley Bree was now called the Coorie Inn (a play on the Scots saying “coorie in” meaning to snuggle). We got their phone number and voila, we had a booking for later!

Parking again!

Back to Craobh! We parked right outside and surprise, surprise had to pay via an app. After our previous experience at the Old Mill in Christchurch this gave us a touch of the heebie-jeebies. Guess what, it failed again! We asked a passing lady if she could get it to work. She just laughed and shook her head. However she did tell us that we could park round the corner for free. What a woman! Pat went off to park while I went into the restaurant. To be fair to this app called RingGo, other people seem to use the it without difficulty so we suspect that our version has developed a glitch.

Craobh is Gaelic for ‘tree’ and is pronounced “kroov”. Perthsire is famous for its big trees, hence the name. It’s a lovely restaurant with quite a few tables at the front and then several more through the back. It was completely deserted. The Mary Celeste had more folk. There was only a couple of young girls behind the counter.

They welcomed us and confirmed that they did have scones … hurrah! Then they spent some time consulting their reservation book to see if they could fit us in. Curious, because as far as we could make out every single table was available. Turned out that they were actually fully booked for dinners so were probably just checking that we were not going to interfere with their first reservations. Anyway it was great to hear that they were fully booked and by the sounds of it that was the case most nights … fantastic!

Slate plates

Since we were having dinner later we just asked for a scone to share and some coffee. It, or rather they, arrived nicely presented on a piece of slate. Obviously this would upset the bellyachers at wewantplates.com. They get terribly upset about food served on anything other than a plate. Thankfully we have never been known to bellyache about anything! We can tolerate a bit of slate … especially if it’s adorned with warm scones, jam and cream. And we did have side plates. With this sort of attention to detail we began to understand why this place might be so popular. We thought that they just managed to squeak into our topscone category. Well done Croabh!

Stranger than fiction

Goodness, it’s all going on in the world. On one hand we have a Russian president gayly murdering anyone he doesn’t approve of.

On the other we have a former US president being fingerprinted and mugshotted. As an ex-professional photographer I can honestly say that I would have been sacked if I had taken a mugshot like that. Besides the subject matter, there just isn’t anything right about it. Trump, as ever, is up to his old school boy tricks, deflecting attention so that nothing of substance ever gets discussed. And yet his supporters keep following like mesmerised cattle apparently oblivious to the harm he does to the US and the world.

In sporting news it is all about the president of total plonkers Luis Rubiales and the turmoil created by THE KISS. If any of our most imaginative readers were asked to make up a surreal, fantastical week of news it would probably fall well short of the actual reality.

Schwarzenegger says

Our dinner at the Coorie Inn was great. It’s been taken over by Andrew, Phil and Lisa … all previously of the five star Gleneagles Hotel. They’ve only had it for five weeks so still settling in but they seem to be making a real go of it. We wish them well. After a delicious dinner we discovered that they do scones every afternoon! We will be back!

PH7 3EY tel: 01764 650762 Craobh

///accompany.inkjet.ideals

ps: This notice was in Craobh …. discuss! Think we know why it’s from “source unknown”.

Scones, Top

Scotts Greenock

27 July 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 11 Comments

We are about as familiar with Greenock as we are with the dark side of the moon. And that’s more than a little peculiar because it’s only an hour’s drive from home. We can only blame it on its situation on the southern shores of the Clyde hemmed in by hills. Also, Pat is from the north side of the river and generally that means you don’t go to the “south side” unless absolutely necessary! Unless you have a particular excuse to go there, you just don’t. Today we have a particular excuse.

Our Sydney correspondents let us know that they were on a cruise and today they would be docked at Greenock. By a happy coincidence we had also been informed that Buzzworks had just opened a new restaurant in the town called Scotts Greenock. We could kill two birds with one stone, so to speak.

Island Princess cruise liner — View of the Island Princess from our table

We visit Scotts at South Queensferry quite a lot and we thought it would be good to have a look at this new recently opened enterprise. Situated in Greenock, it would also mean that our friends would not have too far to travel from their ship. We booked a table for today.

Power of the kettle

For many years Greenock was the centre of shipbuilding, sugar refining and wool manufacturing but now they have all disappeared and it is bravely trying to recover from these heady days of heavy industry. James Watt, who famously discovered steam power by trying to hold down the lid of his kettle was born here in 1736, More recently, so was Judge Dredd

Imagine our surprise when we found that Scotts is actually part of the Ocean Terminal building that our friends had to go through to get on and off their ship. They beat us to it and were already at the table. It’s seven years since we last saw them so it was wonderful to see them again. There was loads to catch up on!

Cameron was our server. He got us all sorted up with a delicious lunch but when we asked for a scone he just looked very perplexed and scurried off. He returned with the devastating news that they didn’t have any. And here was us hoping to give our correspondents a in-person refresher course! It was all a bit odd, however, because every other Buzzworks place we have been to has scones displayed in their bar areas.

Can I help you?

I ventured up to the bar just to check that Cameron hadn’t misunderstood. When a lady saw me searching she asked if she could be of help.

Entrance to Scotts - Greenock — the entrance to Scotts

I explained my surprise that they didn’t have any scones when all their sister restaurants did. She explained that having only opened a couple of weeks ago, they weren’t fully operational yet. She assured me that as soon as they were they would have scones just like everywhere else. Then she added “but when you made your reservation you wrote that you were meeting friends from Australia for lunch and hopefully a scone … so we made some scones this morning, especially.” Goodness gracious, had we actually stumbled on an organisation that actually paid attention to the individual? Wow, a rare thing in this modern automated world! I resisted an almost overpowering urge to kiss this lovely lady and returned to the table to deliver the good news.

In no time at all Cameron was delivering our scones, nicely presented on large oval cobalt blue platters. No cream but perhaps that wasn’t altogether surprising given that the scones in front of us were the only ones the restaurant had ever had. The four of us thoroughly enjoyed them and although we didn’t think the scones on their own merited a topscone we decided to award one anyway. Considering the trouble they had gone to on our behalf it was totally deserved. Well done Scotts Greenock for going above and beyond!

Our friends had been in Shetland the day before and Iceland the day before that. This cruising lark is relentless and sadly, before long, it was time to say farewell. They had to get back on board and head for Southampton. Cameron kindly offered to take a final picture on the outdoor deck area and then, with hugs and kisses, we parted.

Cruising

Inspired by tales of sailing the high seas and discovering new and exotic places, we decided to give it a go. We drove a couple of miles further along the coast to Gourock and boarded the good ship Sound of Shuna for the 20 minute trip to Dunoon.

Western ferry at Gourock — Not a huge amount of luxury on the Sound of Shuna but it did have a toilet

Okay, not exactly cruising but it did enabled us to make a round trip up the shores of Loch Long across the Rest And Be Thankful and down the shores of Loch Lomond. We eventually got home very late after a great day full of happy memories!

A letter box made in Falkirk in St Catherines on the shores of Loch Long

Our Sydney correspondents thought our blog had gone rather quiet on the subject of Scottish politics … Nicola Sturgeon and all that? They’re right, of course, we have gone quiet. The reason being that we have no idea what is going on. If anyone else knows please get in touch. All we can say is that the actual case for Scottish independence remains stronger than ever.

Latest news is that the US Defence Department has a secret stash of UFOs. If true, it infers that these ‘nonhuman biologics’ had the intelligence and wherewithal to get somewhere but then had no idea what to do once there. A complete mystery if it wasn’t for the fact that it sounds suspiciously like Westminster!

PA15 1EG tel: 01475 602460 Scotts – Greenock

///hill.onions.union

Scones, Top

The Dome

5 July 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 11 Comments

This post from the Dome in Edinburgh may be shocking for many readers! We apologise in advance if that is the case. Everyone knows what afternoon tea is … goodness, we’ve reviewed quite a few on this blog.

Internal view of the Dome — It used to be the Royal Bank of Scotland, famous for its glass dome

In 1840 the 7th Duchess of Bedford got into the habit of having tea, sandwiches and cake in the afternoon to tide her over to the evening meal which wasn’t served until 8pm. She started to invite friends who would change into long gowns and hats to take tea in the drawing room at Woburn Abbey. It became a social occasion for polite discourse and tea sipped from fine china with one’s little finger delicately raised! Henry James said “There are few hours more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea“. All well and good, however, this post is not about ‘afternoon tea’, it’s about ‘morning tea’ here at the Dome in Edinburgh. “Sacré bleu, what sort of abomination is that?” we hear you cry!

How it all began

Back in 2016 we had afternoon tea upstairs in the Georgian Tea Room … and very nice it was! Recently, however, we became aware that, against all the laws of nature, they were now offering morning tea. Has to be the work of the Devil. We felt that it would have to be checked out on our reader’s behalf so in the spirit of Marco Polo and Ernest Shackleton we set out to investigate. Turns out that morning tea is served downstairs in the Club Room.

Caledonian Heritable Limited own the Dome along with more than 300 other pubs and restaurants. By a happy coincidence they also own the Woodside, our local and our weekly haunt at 5pm every Friday. If you think the Dome is a bit fancy you should see the Woodside! No morning tea or even afternoon tea but it does have a range of potato crisps.

So here we are in the Club Room drinking champagne and it’s not even midday! Told you it was the Devil’s work. Surely you don’t get lots cakes with a morning tea? No, what you get is two mini breakfast rolls with link sausage and bacon. There’s also lemon and blueberry muffins and an oatmeal thingy with berries. Oh, and scones … obviously! We hadn’t had any breakfast so it was all very welcome. The mini breakfast rolls were nicely toasted and the sausage and the bacon cooked to perfection. I asked for some tomato sauce so they brought brown … heyho! The service was typically efficient if a little cavalier about sauce. The oats and berries thingy was also nice though maybe a little on the heavy side.

The scones were unusually uniform in shape but with a lovely sprinkling of crystallised sugar on top. Crisp on the outside and soft in the middle, it couldn’t be anything else but a topscone.

The Club Room at the Dome — Part of the Club Room

Verdict

As if things weren’t confusing enough they serve morning tea until 2pm … so it’s perfectly possible to have morning tea in the afternoon … but not, we hasten to add, the other way round. So what’s with this morning tea thing? Is it really such an abomination? Well, we should probably apologise to the Dome for casting aspersions. It was all rather nice and we would recommend it to those of an adventurous disposition who are willing to get out of bed a little earlier.

George Street, Edinburgh — George Street from the Dome

Apart from morning tea what other miracles are there today? Wimbledon has started heralding the start of that miracle of television abuse by respectable old ladies. My mother had never held a racket in her life, however, during Wimbledon she was transmogrified into a tennis expert who would scream abuse at the tv when her favourite players missed a ‘simple’ shot. King Charles is in Scotland today continuing that age old tradition of plundering Scotland’s Crown Jewells. The miracle is that he is able to do it in broad daylight aided and abetted by the police. Today is also the 75th anniversary of the NHS. Given successive government’s attempts to privatise it, it’s a miracle that it’s still around, albeit in need of some TLC.

This was a lovely day out in Old Reekie and our morning breakfast at the Dome will probably last us the rest of the day … another miracle?

EH2 2PF tel: 0131 624 8624 The Dome

///incomes.noble.dream

Scones, Top

Coll hotel

12 May 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 10 Comments

Imagine staying at Coll Hotel and not having a scone. We never thought to ask because there was nothing to indicate that they did that sort of thing. It wasn’t until Sophie, our hostess with the mostest, heard that earlier we had had a scone at the Island Café that she informed us that a scone at the hotel was no problem whatsoever. Brilliant, only problem was we were leaving in just over an hour to go and catch the ferry back to Oban.

We were commanded to sit at a table where we could look out over the gardens and Loch Eatherna.

Distress

Before that, however, we should tell you about Pat’s sheep experience that she had just outside the hotel. A lamb at the side of the road started to bleat at her as if in distress. By the time I caught up she was quite convinced that it was trying to tell her something. And it was! Eventually, we figured it out when its mother appeared equally distressed, bleating frantically. They ran towards each other but a solid stone wall was separating them. In spite of running up and down they weren’t going far enough to get round the wall. Pat eventually shooed the lamb towards the end of the wall. The reunification was a joy to behold.

Lambs at Arinagour — These two knew where their mother was.

Before you could say Jack Flash we had our scone together with nice little bowls of jam and cream as well as our tea.

A scone at Coll Hotel — View from our scone

The scone was warm and just the way we like them. Everything was perfect. If ever there was a topscone, this was it! The only problem was that we were having to leave all this behind. Sophie, with her wonderful warm smile had looked after us with fabulous carefree ease. Paul, like most islanders was a man of many talents. He would pop up working in the most unexpected places and now he was driving us to the ferry. What a guy!

We thoroughly enjoyed our first venture on the Isle of Coll. Another visit is now beckoning but maybe with a car next time. For those of you who feel that I should treat my wife better and not have her endure these cycling hardships, this is a photograph of her on the Isle of Tiree in 1974 just a year after we got married. See, she loves it!

It’s obvious

On that occasion we got these ancient bikes from old John MacDonald. He had a little cottage at the back of the Scaranish Hotel. Pat’s bike was fine but when I peddled mine nothing happened. John was watching us from his door and could see the problem. He was shouting but with his broad highland accent we couldn’t quite make out what he was saying. Turned out he was shouting “just hit it with stone“. Even when we knew it still didn’t make much sense. He, however, just laid the bike on its side, picked up a fairly large stone and hit the back cog with an almighty wallop … perfect! Why didn’t I think of that.

More distress

Eurovision will be in full swing tonight. This is Australia’s last year in the competition but what will happen if they win. Where will it be held next year. Suffice to say the folks at the Coll Hotel didn’t seem at all worried!

PA78 6SZ tel: 01879 230334 Coll Hotel

///leaves.inclined.rotations

Scones, Top

Cairn Lodge

3 April 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 7 Comments

Shetland seems like a distant but very fond memory now. We will always remember the friendliness of the people there. These days there’s a tendency for people to be a bit self-absorbed so it was great to see a healthy spirit of community on these islands. Anyway, now it’s back to reality. Although we would have a cheek to call Cairn Lodge in Auchterader, reality!

If it is reality then we are having a very soft landing. Today we were invited for breakfast by friends which was fabulous. And now we are at Cairn Lodge because other friends have invited us for afternoon tea. How lucky are we?

One of our aunts really liked Cairn Lodge so we used to come here years ago. Since then it has been taken over by Aurora Hotels and they have completely revamped it to become a luxury destination. Probably just as well because its next door neighbour is the well known haunt of the rich and famous, Gleneagles Hotel.

Friends to the rescue

It might be an age related thing but ‘time’ seems to play tricks on us these days. Huge amounts of it seem to simply disappear. We haven’t seen these friends since they rescued us from a car crash near their home … and that was over six years ago! Incredible! Ironically, the car that crashed into us was racing to try and catch the ferry from Aberdeen to Shetland. Nobody seriously hurt but our car was completely wrecked. Our friends, however, galloped to the rescue. They fed and watered us then insisted on delivering us to our destination many miles away in Pitlochry. Much water has flowed under the bridge since then so there was a mega amount of stuff to catch up on!

The young lady looking after us was superb and within two shakes of a lamb’s tail she was filling our glasses with bubbles and presenting us with an absolutely delicious artichoke based amuse-bouche. Then came a three tier stack of afternoon tea. Two of them between the four of us as well as a separate plate of sandwiches. Sometimes we think that afternoon teas are misjudged in that there is often too much of everything. We thought this one was judged perfectly. Separate little pots of jam and clotted cream completed the presentation. It probably goes without saying that everything was delicious and the scones were no exception. There was a plain scone and a whisky soaked fruit scone for each of us.

Harmony

Thinking about it now, it seems unbelievable that, in Scotland, this is the first whisky soaked scone we’ve ever come across. Lovely and warm, nice and crunchy on the outside and a delicate soft interior with that ever so subtle hint of the amber nectar. Two of our favourite things brought together in perfect harmony! So good they almost made our ‘totallyeffinbrilliantscone’ category!

Not so brilliant perhaps was Scotland’s new First Minister, Humza Yousaf’s first week in his new job. Many have expressed disappointment but we feel he needs to be given a chance. He has a mountain to climb! Isn’t it peculiar that all political parties recognise Scotland as a nation yet refuse to give us permission to determine our own future. What sort of logic is that? It’s also a bit odd that we now have Humza Yousaf, a practicing Muslim of Pakistani extraction and Rishi Sunak, a practicing Hindu of Indian extraction fighting over Scottish independence. You couldn’t make it up!

Today has been fantastic and it is all down to our wonderful friends. With friends like ours and whisky soaked scones, what more could we possibly ask for?

PH3 1LX tel: +44 1764 661095 Cairn Lodge Hotel

///tonsils.plan.calibrate

island, Scones, Top

Busta House Hotel

22 March 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 7 Comments

After an overnight ferry crossing, here we are in Shetland. We have long promised ourselves a visit but things have always got in the way. Not this time though, we are here … yeah! We will be staying in Lerwick, the capital, but a booking for tea and scones at Busta House Hotel meant that we couldn’t hang around there long. We had to get to the town of Brae and it was a wee bit away.

Shetland has had the worst snow it has experienced in over twenty years. Normally the Gulf Stream protects it from such weather. As we drove to Brae it was obvious just how bad it had been. There were remnants everywhere and by the side of the road the snow was still quite deep in places. We were happy to have missed the worst of it.

Inheritance

Thomas Gifford, Shetland’s wealthiest resident built Busta House in 1748. He had 14 children, including 4 sons. Unfortunately all were lost when they set off by boat to visit friends on the other side of the bay. It was a fine May evening, the boat was found undamaged with all their belongings but they had all vanished. A long running legal battle over inheritance that lasted 93 years eventually bankrupted the entire family.

Internal view of Busta House Hotel — the Long Room. The large cupboard on the left houses a huge selection of whiskies

In 1960 Queen Elizabeth II took tea in the Long Room where we are today. Since her visit they have, no doubt, been eagerly awaiting ours.

After a very warm welcome we were soon settled in a large window seat to await our scones. They came beautifully presented with everything needed in the way of butter, jam and cream. The scone was warm and just the way we like them. The first topscone we’ve had in ages … hurrah! As we sat there, however, thinking how fantastic it was to be here we became aware of what sounded like a right old rumpus happening outside.

500 sheep

Viking invasion at Busta House Hotel — Invading Vikings and Duane, the Jarl

Actually it was not so much a rumpus more a full scale invasion … an invasion of Vikings! We were aware of Brae holding the final Up Helly Aa of the season but we didn’t expect this! The hotel is pretty much in the middle of nowhere so where had they all come from? Anyway they were all given a dram and this seemed to completely nullify any raping and pillaging tendencies. They were the friendliest, happiest bunch of people you could ever hope to meet. Pat met Jimmy Johnston. who had asked if he could have his picture taken with her?? Then tried to impress her by pointing to the massive shed on the hill that had 500 of his wintering sheep in it. He also seemed to own most of the land round about the hotel. Yes, she was impressed but probably more by the warmth of his company … he was brilliant!

They brought their own music and there was much singing and dancing! Magic!

trainee Viking

Later we went to the Galley shed in Brae where they had prepared a galley for Up Helly Aa.

The Galley Shed

There Pat met Eddie Thompson who couldn’t do enough for us. In 1995 he had been a Jarl (chieftain) himself.

Pat with Eddie Thompson — Eddie with Pat and Eddie as the much feared Ivar The Boneless in 1995

He showed us round the Galley Shed and even took us to the store where all of the 400 torches were waiting to be collected. There was an almost overpowering smell of paraffin so no naked lights here!

He advised us that if we wanted anything to eat we should walk along to Frankies because it would be closing soon. Frankie’s has won Best Fish and Chip Shop in the World and we can understand why. Probably the best fish supper we have ever had! With full tummies we returned to the Galley Shed where Eddie made us some very welcome coffees. What a guy! Everyone is so friendly up here! And then it all started!

The start of the Delting Up Helly Aa — Spectators watch lighting the torches

Start of the Delting Up Helly Aa procession

Perfect day

We were blown away by the the sheer happiness of this event. The whole community had made huge efforts to ensure its success. We asked Eddie if Health & Safety ever got involved. He said they didn’t but that everyone knew that the slightest mishap could result in 400 years of history being lost. Everyone was very careful. The procession made its way around to the other side of the bay where the galley was launched into the sea and all the torches were thrown into it while it drifted away. Quite a spectacle! Perfect day, a topscone, new friends and an Up Helly Aa! And we’ve only just arrived!

The Delting Up Helly Aa — Across the bay, the procession arrives at the launch point for the galley

Today, Boris Johnson is trying to justify himself to the House of Commons. He along with his Tory party have proved over recent years that all that’s required to be Prime Minister of the UK is a pulse. Wonder what our Vikings would make of him? Think we know!

ZE2 9QN tel: 01806 522 506 Busta House

///zones.denoting.collision

Scones, Top

Schloss Roxburghe 2

12 December 2022 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

This post is entitled Schloss Roxburghe 2 which is a bit unusual since it was only October when we were last here. Normally, years pass before we revisit places. In our previous visit we talked about all the ambitious building work that was taking place at the time. This time we had been informed that many of the changes had now been completed so we were back to see for ourselves.

External view of Schloss Roxburghe showing new rooms — new 58 additional rooms and the pool area

Hardships

Of course, we cannot pretend that this involved any hardship on our part. This place is definitely not noted for hardship! That said, we had hoped that the heated outdoor swimming pool, sauna and plunge pool would have been completed but no, not quite … argh! The weather has taken quite a frosty turn … ideal for a swim in a lovely warm pool. I’d even packed my Speedos! Disappointing but we reckoned we could survive that sort of hardship. But would there be any more hardships?

The spa at Schloss Roxburghe — Spa reception

Well yes, the spa area wasn’t quite finished either. But the new gym was open 24/7.

By the time we had walked the length of the gym and looked at all the apparatus for inflicting self induced torture we both felt quite light headed … we needed refreshment and somewhere to sit down.

The State Room at Schloss Roxburghe — the State room

What a State!

The State Room was the answer … another splendid addition since our last visit. A cosy log fire, very comfortable surroundings … and a bar! A place to relax with a whisky or a G&T … or even a scone.

Last time we thought the Schloss Roxburghe scones rivalled those of Fonab Castle as ‘best scone in the world‘ … quite a claim! We certainly didn’t imagine that they would have dropped their standards since October but thought we should check, just in case. We have to be rigorous … don’t we? No problem they were just as good and, of course, served perfectly by some of the friendly helpful staff. At the end of the day, it was simply a case of reinforcing our original topscone award with another!

No pampering south of the border

In the evening we had the pleasure of experiencing the brand spanking new Charlie’s restaurant. Its name commemorates a visit by Bonnie Prince Charlie in 1745. He was about to set off into England with his army and presumably felt the need for some pampering. He doubtless knew he wasn’t going to find any of that where he was going.

Charlies restaurant at Schloss Roxburghe — Charlie’s restaurant

In contrast to the cosy restaurant we enjoyed last time in the old hotel, Charlie’s provides a gleaming modern dining experience. It was great and our dinner was super!

Picture of child on horseback at Schloss Roxburghe — this is how it used to be for children before iPads

Autumn/Winter Collection

During our stay, Schloss Roxburghe was playing host for the launch of Lyle & Scott’s prestigious Autumn /Winter collection. Surrounded by its own golf course and just down the road from the town of Hawick where Lyle & Scott started off in 1874, this was an ideal venue. They’d invited guests from all over the world.

All we can say is that if you are going to impress clients with everything Scotland has to offer this isn’t a bad place to do it. We actually thought that the Lyle & Scott brand had disappeared many years ago … how wrong could we be? Great to see it, alive and kicking and very much a global player.

Britain is not much a global player these days. It seems to come bottom of almost every league table and seems destined to be in recession for a long time yet. The much vaunted International Agreements with non-EU countries are actually costing us money! The whole country is grinding to a halt with industrial unrest. And just when you thought things could not get any worse, England has been eliminated from the World Cup by the ‘old enemy’, France. The economy may be disappearing down the plug hole but we’ll doubtless be treated to days and days of mindless analysis of why this calamity happened.

The invisible man

We do have new Prime Minister, Rishi Sunak, to sort all this out, of course … or do we? After a series of blatantly incompetent Prime Ministers we now have an invisible one. Even his own party are nicknamed him “the invisible Prime Minister“. To avoid all these rather annoying irritations we recommend moving into Schloss Roxburghe permanently. As you sip your whisky by one of the log fires you’ll be blissfully unaware of anything other than the need for another log … and even that is taken care of.

TD5 8JZ tel: ‭01573 450331 Schloss Roxburghe

///marinated.wriggled.greeting

Scones, Top

Clarinda’s Tearoom

28 October 2022 billpaterson1@me.com 5 Comments

This scone has strongly connections to Robert Burns, Scotland’s national poet, and one of his poems in particular. With the current political Sunak/Braverman furore you would be forgiven for thinking the poem would be “Such A Parcel Of Roques In A Nation“. In that poem Burns railed against the aristocrats who in 1707 treacherously relinquished the Scottish Parliament and passed all powers to England. No, no, no, this scone is from Clarinda’s Tearoom in Edinburgh and it’s about an altogether different kind of poem … a love poem. We feel, however, that a little background is required before we get on to the all important scones. Bear with us!

Sense and nonsense

Robert Burns famously loved the lassies but he was particularly besotted by one, Agnes Maclehose, in particular. However, she was already married, unhappily married but married nevertheless. Her husband had long since left her and gone off to Jamaica. The relationship between Agnes and Robert, though intense, remained platonic throughout. They conducted their romance through letters and exchanges of poetry and to keep their correspondence confidential they adopted pseudonyms … her’s ‘Clarinda’ and his ‘Sylvander’. Sir Walter Scott referred to the resulting love letters as “the most extraordinary mixture of sense and nonsense, and of love human and divine, that was ever exposed to the eye of the world.” Didn’t they write beautifully back in the day!

Clarinda and Robert Burns — Clarinda and Burns

In December 1791 Agnes decided to sail to Jamaica to try and salvage her marriage. Just before she left Burns penned “Ae Fond Kiss“, a beautiful poem of love and yearning. She arrived in Jamaica only to find that her husband had already started another family with another woman. What are men like?? Never mind, how devastating that experience must have been for Agnes! Broken hearted she returned on the same ship on which she had arrived. She and Robert met once more before he died aged just 37. She never remarried and died in 1841 aged 82.

Queues

In spite of there being several other cafes in the vicinity we had to queue to get into Clarinda’s. Was this a good sign? The last time we had to queue was at the Elephant House, not far from here. It was where the Harry Potter books were written. Have you realised that the word ‘queue’ is just a letter with four silent letters waiting in line? This queue was formed mainly of tourists so Clarinda’s is obviously well known, either for the associated story of romance or the quality of its scones … or maybe both … exciting!

It is a tiny place and there were six in our party so not easy to get a table big enough. No problem they soon had us seated and ready for our scones. The only way to describe Clarinda’s Tearoom is ‘chintzy’. Lace table clothes, loads of pictures and plates hanging on the walls.

Obviously, with a queue outside, there was no let up for the staff. They were lovely, however, and treated everyone as if they were the first customers of the day. We had a scone each and thoroughly enjoyed them. They came with generous pots of jam and cream and a couple of large teapots of tea to go with their eclectic mix of chinaware. Perhaps not the best topscone but we enjoyed Clarinda’s so a topscone nevertheless. No doubt the queue, which was still outside, was delighted to see the six of us leave.

The above picture was taken from near Clarinda’s Tearoom. You can just about see the top of the Burns Memorial, slightly to the left of the obelisk in the middle. It gazes down on Canongate Churchyard where Clarinda is buried. The romance continues!

Heinous crimes

The obelisk, by the way, is the Political Martyrs Monument. It commemorates five men who campaigned for parliamentary reform and universal suffrage in 1773. Their crime was consider so heinous they were given an equally heinous sentence … transportation to New South Wales! Don’t people pay for that nowadays?

EH8 8BS tel: 0131 557 1888 Clarinda Insta

///deflection.tins.pink

Scones, Top, totallyeffinbrilliantscone

Schloss Roxburghe

16 October 2022 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

This post heralds a scone which could rival Fonab Castle for the best scone in the world award. It’s here at Schloss Roxburghe … isn’t that exciting! However, maybe not as exciting as the state of British politics at the moment. So let’s get that out of the way first.

Internal view of Schloss Roxburghe — Entrance hall

Walking the plank

A lot has happened since our previous post from Alfies. The country has been brought to its knees by the current clueless resident in No 10. Meanwhile in No 11, Kami Kwasi Kwarteng has fulfilled his destiny even earlier than expected. News of the sacking of our third Chancellor in as many months, for some reason, got us pondering about walking the plank. When you think about it, what a weird procedure that was!

View from 14th tee at Schloss Roxburghe — The 14th tee on the championship golf course with the Roxburgh viaduct and the River Teviot

A bit like Kwasi, the luckless man is not simply thrown overboard … that would be too kind.. Rather it is turned into some sort of macabre ceremony where he is specially flown back from the US to find he no longer has the keys to No 11, the home he and his family have only just moved into. Mind you, ever since he got the job of doing Liz Truss’s bidding he must have known he would run out of plank quite quickly. He has been replaced by Philip Hammond, who is actually the new de facto Prime Minister. Liz is being kept in a locked cupboard under the stairs at No 10. Two short planks are being selected for her as we speak. Actually they will require a small forest to provide enough planks for all those Conservatives who voted her into power in the first place!

Efficiency

Portrait of child with hoop — Who needs an iPhone 14 when you can have one of these?

We are constantly impressed by the way Prime Ministers and Chancellors move into and out of Downing Street. These days they must ask themselves if it is actually worthwhile sitting down. It’s almost magical the way the furniture removal business works in Downing Street. It seems to flow seamlessly … at least something in the UK still works the way it should! But that’s enough about all this nonsense, you all just want to know about Schloss scones, don’t you? By the way, it is owned by a German company these days and that’s the only explanation we can give for the name. They are currently adding another 58 rooms, an outdoor swimming pool and spa as well as building 50 rental cottages in the grounds. No shortage of business here!

The Age of Reason

If you ever fancy staying in a Schloss we can thoroughly recommend Schloss Roxburghe. Simply remortgaging your home will just about cover the costs.

Portrait of the Duke of Roxburghe — Duke of Roxburghe

It used to be the home of the Duke of Roxburghe but he must have felt a bit cramped. He moved to nearby Floors Castle which has 7,000 rooms. Imagine cleaning that lot every day? This place, however, dates back to the 12th century when it was known as Sunlaws. They still have a Sunlaws restaurant. In1745, Bonnie Prince Charlie stayed the night as the guest of Lady Chatto before he set off into England with his army in a bid to regain the throne for his dad. The 18th century was known as the Enlightenment or the Age of Reason … we wonder how historians will label the present day … the Age Without Reason? Anyway, back then, for one night this place was host to one of Europe’s most romantic historical figures … and now, equally romantic, the scone hunters are here!

Relentless

This is the sort of place where your expectations are raised when you are quarter of a mile down the driveway and you still can’t see where you are to be staying. Arrival doesn’t disappoint either with a warm welcome at reception. There are open log fires in almost all the public rooms. After our long drive we were very ready for a scone. From the venues offered we chose the drawing room and settled into a lovely bay window seat. Our scones were beautifully warm and wrapped in linen napkins to keep them that way … fab!

Like we said at the beginning these scones could rival our gold standard at Fonab Castle. They were super crunchy on the outside – you almost had to crack them open like a boiled egg. The centres were wonderfully soft and fluffy. There was a plain and a fruit one for each of us and it all came complete with generous bowls of clotted cream and jam. The problem now is, we haven’t reviewed Fonab for quite a while so we will have to return to check that they are maintaining standards. Phew, this sconing business is relentless!

Suffice to say that Schloss scones are certainly on a par with Fonab scones until proven otherwise. We might even get them to slip one under the door of Liz’s cupboard, we feel a bit sorry for her … just a wee bit!

TD5 8JZ tel: ‭01573 450331 Schloss Roxburghe

///marinated.wriggled.greeting

Scones, Top

Alfie’s

12 October 2022 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

Back in 2015 we spent some time at the rather isolated Ardanaiseig Hotel on the southern shores of Loch Awe. As blogging newbies we had one of our formative scone experiences there. Sitting in front of a large open log fire with toasted scones and pots of tea … heaven! Ardanaiseig is owned by Bennie Gray who also owns Alfie’s Antique Market here in Marlebone in the heart of London. It’s where we are today. He called it Alfie’s after his father. Ardanaiseig had lots of quirky features and this place is no different, in fact it’s the very essence of ‘quirky’.

Winter Hag of Death and Darkness

But first, have you ever wondered how Loch Awe came to be there? Wonder no more!

There’s a magic well high above Ardanaiseig on Ben Cruachan where a beautiful goddess called Beithir used to bathe every evening. By doing so she preserved her glorious good looks but one night it all went wrong. She forgot to replace the capstone … argh! The well overflowed down the mountainside and formed the loch we know today. As punishment she was banished by the gods, cursed with immortality and transformed into the ancient Winter Hag of Death and Darkness. Her cold hard voice still echoes around the snow filled corries of Ben Cruachan and beyond. The Winter Hag of Death and Darkness is rarely seen but oddly there have been several reported sightings recently. Actually, they’ve all turned out to be Liz Truss, however, you can understand the confusion.

Alfies is housed in an Art Deco building and is spread over four floors. If you are looking for something unusual and quirky to decorate your home, chances are you will find it here. It’s a fascinating place to walk round though a bit confusing with lots of little stairs leading off in all sorts of directions. Jewellery and lighting seem to be a speciality. There’s also an indoor pond full of carp and water lilies. You don’t get that everywhere! Soon, of course, all this perusing takes its toll and sustenance is required.

The cafe is called the Kitchen on the Roof and that’s where we ended up. Lovely to sit out on a beautiful day in October. The only problem was wasps. They were a real nuisance and eventually they drove us indoors.

Huge smiles

We are being looked after by a lady who had the biggest smile imaginable. She was so happy and seemed delighted to be working there. It makes such a difference. Our lunch was fantastic and seemed incredibly good value. Omelette and chips … £4, homebaked scone with jam and cream … £3, pot of tea … £1.60 and so on. Seven years ago we awarded Ardanaiseig Hotel a topscone and although there was no open log fire here we decided that our overall experience was good enough to do the same here. Well done Alfie’s.

Progress?

Spending a day surrounded by beautiful works of art does make you wonder in astonishment at the state of the world today. For all our supposed technological sophistication it seems that the only way to settle arguments is to destroy everything and kill lots of people. This week we discovered that, with the help of DNA sampling, Homo sapiens are indeed related to the Neanderthals. They used the same methods for disputes but surely we should have progressed a wee bit in the intervening 40,000 years. Let’s have another scone!

NW8 8DT tel: 020 7723 6066 Alfies Antiques

///reef.fancy.sheets

ps: our Utah correspondents have been in touch. Not to report on scones in Utah (do such things exist?) but to send photos of scones encountered on the North Antrim Cliff Hike in North Ireland. They had already completed the John Muir Way in Scotland.

They said that both these scones were very good however Laragh Lodge definitely came out in first place. Congratulations go to them for completing the hike and for taking time out to send these pics.

Parking again!

Slate plates

Stranger than fiction

Schwarzenegger says

Power of the kettle

Can I help you?

Cruising

How it all began

Verdict

Distress

It’s obvious

More distress

Friends to the rescue

Harmony

Inheritance

500 sheep

The Galley Shed

Perfect day

Hardships

What a State!

No pampering south of the border

Autumn/Winter Collection

The invisible man

Sense and nonsense

Queues

Heinous crimes

Walking the plank

Efficiency

The Age of Reason

Relentless

Winter Hag of Death and Darkness

Huge smiles

Progress?

by Bill and Pat Paterson and is about finding good scones throughout the world, with a little bit of politics