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The Lemon Tree – Mijas

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Remember our Trossachs correspondents? We haven’t heard from them in a while but that does not mean a lack of discipline on their part. They have been diligent in their scone searches, however, a recent visit to Sri Lanka simply did not yield any finds. In order to understand the mess the world is in you have to realise that many countries do not benefit from the civilising effect of scones. They are scone deserts! Okay, okay, what about the the UK, we hear you cry? We know … it’s simply inexplicable that a scone rich country like the UK should find itself in such a perilous state. Perhaps it should be compulsory for all politicians to have afternoon tea every day?

Snorters

Anyway our correspondents are on their travels yet again and have sent a comprehensive report which neatly fits into our recent run of nautical scones, albeit these ones are more ‘aeronautical’. It also provides a welcome distraction from Michael Gove’s confession to being a bit of a coke snorter. Is he trying to appear normal in some way?  Although he says he finished with Class A drugs more than twenty years ago it looks, to us, as if they are still having a profound effect today.

In our correspondents own words

Street view in Mijas, SpainGreetings from Mijas (pronounced Meehas) in sunny Spain, a long time favourite of ours. We love its narrow lanes, stunning flora, evening tranquillity and unspoilt ethnic nature and views over the Med. The licensed taxis are even donkeys. No skyscaper apartment blocks, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Burger Houses or English Breakfasts here . So we thought!

Advert for scones at the Lemon Tree Café in Mijas, SpainOn previous visits to the Costa del Sol we have avoided the beach culture of the large resorts which has extremely limited our search for scones. Our only previous success when we visited Gibraltar and sampled scones of an inferior nature. Mijas has now presented us with a cultural dilemma. On our first evening we noticed The Lemon Tree – a new café type restaurant tucked into a corner of the Plaza de la Constitution and horror of all horrors it proudly advertised Full English Breakfast. However, we were partly consoled that they also offered cream tea for two at a very reasonable 6.95 Euros. Should we, shouldn’t we? This morning we yielded and after a brisk walk around the village and its old walls we headed towards the Lemon Tree to sample our first scones in Spain.

The place was mobbed but we managed to get the last outside seat and placed our order.
Scones at the Tree Café in Mijas, SpainIn the parlance of AllAboutTheScones, the scones were well presented with an accompanying pot of tea, strawberry jam and a tub of Rodda’s Cornish Cream. They were nice and warm, crisp on the outside, fluffy in the centre and surprisingly delicious – real candidates for Paterson Top Scone if the cream had been fresh. To be fair butter was an option. We’ll be back, but may sacrifice the scones for the Lemon drizzle cake with Ice cream!

NB we give Rodda’s Cornish Cream a hard time but only when it is served in Scotland. Scotland has plenty of its own cream. However, a Cornish Cream tea in southern Spain is obviously genuine so the use of Rodda’s is perfectly acceptable.

29650 Mijas              tel: Jan 634153256           Lemon Tree FB 

///second.thick.afflict

The Mango

External view of the Mango Café in Mijas, Spain Can Mijas be the scone capital of Spain? Fresh from the pleasures of the Lemon Tree we have found another gem, The Mango Café. It is hidden away in the corner of a courtyard. We enjoyed a cream tea which will sound familiar to you two Top Sconers. Not too big, warm, crisp on the outside, soft and fluffy in the centre and served with real cream and home made strawberry jam. Absolutely delicious!!!A cream tea at the Mango Café in Mijas, Spain

Sincere thanks to our corespondents. Their admirable dedication and excellent reports have brought a ray of sunshine to the blog.

29650 Mijas      tel: +34 951 53 54 82           The Mango Café FB

///bashed.laying.flagged

Scones, Top

HRY Britannia

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Sign for the HRY BritanniaYet again, after Titanic Belfast and Fingal, we continue with the nautical theme. This time it’s the turn of HRY Britannia. You may think that we have carefully constructed this sequence of sea bourne scones but we haven’t, it’s purely coincidental. We would probably never have set foot on this symbol of extravagance and privilege had it not been for the fact that if you stay on Fingal you become entitled to a tour of HRY Britannia … it’s a privilege!

Royal Crest

We did not take that title picture. It was copied from the table mat under our scone and depicts HRY Britannia and the Royal EsNapkin crest for the HRY Britanniacort at the D-Day Commemorative Review on 5th June 1994. The white ship behind Britannia is the cruise liner Canberra. This picture of the Royal Crest was taken from one of the napkins. Because all the world seems to want to visit this ship, the tours are  very well organised … they have to be efficient to cater for the numbers. When you go in you are given a handset which explains everything you could possibly need to know about wealth and privilege.

Courteous

It takes a good hour and half to go all the way round however once Pat had steered the ship to a safe harbour we were able to partake of tea and scones in the Britannia tearoom. Pat in the captain's chair on HRY BritanniaWe’re not sure if the Queen reads this blog but whether she does or not, we suspect that she may well be a closet sconey if not an open enthusiast. However, we should not speak ill of the Queen. Every time she has spoken to us she has been polite and courteous to a fault. It’s the system of patronage she heads up that we have issues with.

The tearoom at the HRY BritanniaThe tearoom was busy. Although we could have had another bottle of Moet with our scone we felt we had had enough bubbles recently and decided to pass. Also, it was also only 10.45am which we regard as early for champagne … call us old fashioned.  A party of Americans at the next table were having a bottle however and when we took them to task saying it wasn’t even noon yet, they said “its noon somewhere”! Honestly?

A scone at the HRY BritanniaOur  fruit scone was nicely, if plainly, presented and came with plenty jam and cream. Wouldn’t it be dreadful if it wasn’t a topscone? Would we end up in the Tower if we marked the Royal scone down? We could even lose our heads. Luckily for us it proved to be very nice indeed … not as good as Brendan’s on Fingal but good enough for us to keep our heads … phew!

Honi soit qui mal y pense
That’s the motto on the crest that appears on the napkin. It literally means “Evil (or shame) be to him that evil thinks”. It is sometimes used to insinuate the presence of hidden agendas. How appropriate for today’s political world. Lifebelt on the HRY BritanniaThis is Theresa May’s last day in charge of the Conservative party and a whole pile of people with hidden agendas are bidding to replace her as PM. No need to worry though. Jeremy Corbyn was in triumphal mood as his party took the Peterborough by-election against the Brexit party. In his delusional head he sees himself as the next PM already … nil problemo! Also, apparently the Queen has really really enjoyed meeting with President Trump. She learned an immense amount during their many chats. That’s according to Trump on Fox News, of course!

We were eating Royal scones on the Royal yacht as HRH and the Donald were dining at Buck Pal. The cultural divide is brilliantly explained in this video.

EH6 6JJ             tel: 0131 555 556             Britannia

///each.glee.served

Scones, Top

Fingal

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Fingal logoAfter our visit to Titanic Belfast we have aquired the nautical bug. This time we are staying aboard the Fingal, a floating hotel moored in Port of Leith. Now before you jump to the conclusion that we just move from one luxurious hotel to another like a couple of itinerant millionaires, let us set the record straight. It’s not like that at all. Well, maybe a little bit but not that much. And we only do it with good reason. It’s a special day for Pat and, of course there’s always the potential for a scone along the way. We are doing it for you, our sconey readers … no, really! If you come on pictures that make it look as if we are enjoying ourselves it is simply to help ease your conscience.

Pat beside the Fingal
Pat about to board
Challenging scones

Now we are not going to lie and tell you this was some sort of old bathtub of a boat. It wasn’t. Probably about as far away as it’s possible to get from that description. It has a beautiful ballroom and a glass lift that automatically compensates for any movement of the ship. So, not too bathtubish! The bottle of ice cold Moet & Chandon in our room completely dispelled any lingering doubts. Tempting though a glass of champs was, duty called. We knew we could get an afternoon tea on board but neither of us felt able for such indulgence late in the afternoon and risk spoiling our appetite for the evening. Interior view mof the Fingal, LeithA cup of tea and a scone would be just fine. Although, for the management, this was going slightly ‘off piste’, nothing was too much trouble.

Scottish stuff

Ours scones were beautifully presented and they even gave us a few finger sandwiches, just to tide us over. You all know by now that our sconological benchmark is a cream tea at Fonab Castle in Pitlochry. Perfect scones, perfectly presented in beautiful surroundings … the best scones in the world. Scones on board the FingalIn over 300 scones reviewed on this blog, Fonab has never really been seriously challenged … until now!

Fingal’s chef Brendan had produced scones that, at long last, could easily give Fonab a run for its money. Nicely presented, they were warm and had that delightful light crunchy exterior and the soft inner that we crave in a topscone. There was a fruit and a plain one for each of us but they were precisely the right size, so no problem. We could not fault them. They came with jam from Galloway Lodge Preserves in Gatehouse of Fleet and even the butter came from the Edinburgh Butter Company in Stockbridge. It’s so easy to present quality Scottish products like this. We are constantly amazed that so many Scottish establishments source their products from everywhere but Scotland. Well done Fingal, the easiest topscone we have awarded in a long time. You may take pride of place along side Fonab Castle … that’s quite an achievement.

To the Shore

We could have stayed on board for dinner however the ship is only a few minutes walk from the Shore area of Leith where there are loads of excellent waterside pubs and restaurants. A spot of exploring was called for! We had a quick drink at Sofi’s and then an excellent meal at The Ship on the Shore. The light had almost gone as we made our way back to the mother ship.

On the deck of the Fingal
A life on the ocean wave … ignore the buildings in the background
Man sized scones

Today is the 75th anniversary of the D-Day Landings however Fingal is far too young to remember any of that. She was built in 1963 in Glasgow and spent her whole life supplying remote lighthouses around Scotland. Each very comfortable cabin is named after a lighthouse. Ours was Lismore which coincidentally was a lighthouse with which we became very familiar when we experienced Kiki’s man-sized raspberry scones on the Isle of Lismore.

Pat with old friend at the dockside
Pat relaxes with a new friend on a late evening return to Fingal

Today is also the day that Donald Trump leaves the UK after his state visit. It’s probably also the last day that Theresa May will make a public appearance as Prime Minister. Huge sighs of relief all round.

Fingal was a great experience and Charlotte, Catriona and all the staff made it great fun as well. We would thoroughly recommend it to all itinerant millionaires.

EH6 7DX          tel: 0131 357 5000          Fingal Hotel

///cloud.aims.wing

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

Titanic – The Galley

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You know by now that we are on a birdwatching trip to Ireland. Well there is only so far you can take birdwatching without eventually realising that there might be more to life. Suffice to say that today some of our party decided to give the birds a rest and instead head off to Titanic Belfast. Reports we had had from old friends we met at the Jamaica Inn in Bangor were that it was not to be missed.

Titanic stories

While the rest of our party went off with their binoculars we took the train from Bangor to the Titanic Quarter station. This train does actually stop at every hole in the hedge but who cares when the hedge runs along the beautiful North Down coast on a lovely sunny day. Before too long though we were at our destination. We were promptly accosted by Betsy and Jack, a couple from Seattle who were staying at the same hotel as us. Betsy kindly took this photo of us desperately searching for the exhibition.External view of the Titanic BelfastWe were slightly wary of this visit following our experience at the V&A in Dundee which we found disappointing and rather befuddling. This was different, we thoroughly enjoyed it. It benefits from having a clear and definitive story to tell rather than the slightly nebulous theme of ‘style’ at the V&A.External view of the Titanic Belfast We spent a wonderful couple of hours following the route that takes you through the entire tale of of this great ship, from its birth at the Harland and Wolff shipyard to its disastrous end. External view of the Titanic BelfastAs with all these exhibitions you tend to end up with information overload. One fact, however, that stood out for us was that there were two toilets for 3rd class passengers … all 497 of them! It was a slightly different story in 1st class, of course. Maybe 3rd class was just supposed to do it over the side?

If only

If we had managed to have a scone on Titanic’s maiden voyage (we have no doubt it would have been a top one) we would never have been able to post it on this blog! How sad would that have been?

Plates?

We had many reservations about the catering facilities at the V&A and, unfortunately, the same applied here. Catering designed by academics. Internal view of the Galley at Titanic BelfastOkay there are vast numbers to cater for but with a little more common sense it could be done much better. Our watering hole was The Galley. It was self service and the first thing we noticed was that you had to eat your food off the plastic trays you collected it on! No plates! Okay, the trays were kind of shaped like square black plates. A scone at the Galley at Titanic BelfastHowever, we are fans of www.wewantplates .com. It campaigns for food served on plates rather than lumps of slate, miniature shopping trolleys and the like … but trays? Okay, call us curmudgeonly. It was the beginning of a slippery slope. The scones themselves were actually quite good but given everything else that was involved this scone broke our run of good scone luck in Northern Ireland. Shame, everything else about this place is great and well worth a visit.

The Crown Bar

Internal view of the Crown Bar in BelfastWe then took a taxi to the Crown Bar in central Belfast. By the end of this short ride our driver had sorted out all the woes of the world and even acted as a bureau de change. Internal view of the Crown Bar in Belfast The Crown is the only pub owned by the National Trust and it is not hard to see why. Extremely ornate with lots of mosaics, gas lamps and highly decorative carved ceilings. It features individual snugs designed to maintain the privacy of Victorian visitors who wanted to maintain an element of decorum. Stained glass windows featuring fairies, fleurs-de-lis, and clowns gave extra privacy.

That black stuff

We ended up sharing our extremely ‘snug’ snug with a couple from Los Angeles. Los Angeles friends in the Crown Bar, BelfastOn a cruise docked at Belfast harbour they had read that this was the pub to visit. They were desperate to try that black stuff (Guinness) and ‘beer’. They got a pint of each and thoroughly enjoyed them both. We had to leave so have no idea whether they ever made it back to their ship or not. Lovely people though so hopefully they did.

Ronnie Drew

We then went on to the market in Donegall Square and took the opportunity to go into the City Hall. For all the time we lived here we never before managed to get inside. It probably was not as easily accessed back then at the height of the Troubles.

Inside City Hall, Belfast
Splendiferous City Hall

After that we went to Ronnie Drew’s pub before heading back to Bangor without having noted a single bird. A great day!

It seems churlish and a tad easy to comment on British politics in a Titanic post so we will resist the temptation.

BT3 9EP        tel: 028 9076 6386       Titanic Belfast

K6 telephone box in Tetburyps: the ever diligent Pedant has sent through this photo of a Lion foundry K6 in Tetbury in the Cotswolds. Tetbury is famous for its antique and bric a brac shops. Prince Charles also lives nearby at Highgrove. More importantly perhaps is the fact that Jet Black, drummer with the Stranglers, also lives there.

Scones, topweird

No 8 Court Street

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Logo of No 8 Court Street, NewtonardsJust over the hill from Bangor lies Newtownards, the town where our twin daughters were born almost forty years ago. Although a life defining moment for us, we barely know the town itself. When we lived in County Down we tended to go directly Bangor⇔Belfast and Newtownards did not figure on that route. It is on the way to Castle Espie, however, a nature reserve on the shores of Strangford Lough where we were heading today. Purely by chance we parked our car opposite this place, No 8 Court Street and it looked like a pretty good bet for a scone. We weren’t wrong, although scones were in short supply … nothing other than rhubarb and ginger ones left. Lately, there have been soooo many places where we have missed the scones completely or maybe just got the last one. We may have to make scone time a wee bit earlier. This is the roller coaster of uncertainty and  chance that we ride every day on your behalf.  Anyway rhubarb and ginger sounded exciting enough.

Internal view of No 8 Court Street, Newtonards
Downstairs café
Beefy chunks

No 8 is a great place with an excellent downstairs restaurant  but upstairs they have a couple of very comfortable areas laid out with big soft armchairs and a cornucopia of antique furniture.

Internal view of No 8 Court Street, Newtonards
one of the upstairs areas

All the serving staff were bubbly and enthusiastic, nothing was too much trouble. After a delicious lunch our scones arrived. They were huge and at first we thought we would not be able to finish them. A scone at No 8 Court Street, NewtonardsNo worries, they were so good that they did not last long. They were warm and the wonderful texture combined with beefy chunks of rhubarb and ginger made for an unusual but wonderful experience. Everything was nice here. You could tell that the owners had put a lot of thought into the interior design as well as the food. The scone was presented beautifully together with a variety of coffee cans full of cream and jam. Yes, so far it’s three topscones in a row for Northern Ireland … yeagh!

Important things

You may think that news concerning a troika of scones is a trifling matter compared to the news that half of Jeremy Corbyn’s colleagues voted for other parties in the EU elections. Come to think of it, it is debatable which is the more important … or more trifling?

Internal view of No 8 Court Street, Newtonards
another of the upstairs areas

BT23 4JT           tel: 028 9181 2430             No 8

///strumming.tennis.taps

ps: Castle Espie was excellent. You could say that going to a WWT site like this is cheating when it comes to a bird list. Pat, however, was very honest and only noted birds in the ‘wild’ section of the reserve. Currently, her total is 42 different species and that is without a blue tit or a great tit, neither of which we have seen yet.

Scones, Top

Portaferry Hotel

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When you leave Bangor in County Down and drive down the east coast of the Ards Peninsula you encounter many pretty little seaside villages –  Groomsport, Donaghadee, Millisle, Ballywalter, Ballyhalbert then Portavogie. The last time I was in this particular village was probably twenty years ago.

Reserved parking

I was sailing with some friends from Dublin back to Scotland. Around midnight we realised we were not going anywhere because of the tide and decided to pull into Portavogie. Parking sign at Portavogie HarbourWe could not get into the harbour, however, because it was solid with fishing boats. You could walk across the harbour in any direction without fear of getting wet. I made the mistake of asking a slightly inebriated local how the boats that came in first got out again? The answer was, of course, that they had to wait until all the others had gone … doh! We spent the night tied onto the outer wall of the harbour. When we told the story to the harbour master he said “that must have been a while ago! Nowadays there are only 23 boats”.

It was good to be back though and to see it in daylight for the first time. Judging by the parking notice we may not have been only ones having trouble stopping here.

Oops!

It takes a long time getting anywhere when you are birdwatching. With a car load of people all thinking they have seen something exotic it means stopping at almost every layby along the way. Eventually, however, we came to Portaferry, a lovely village where you can catch a ferry for the fifteen minute trip over to Strangford. We had just missed it however and, lo and behold, it was bang on scone o’clock. The Portaferry Hotel was beckoning. A scone at Portaferry HotelIt was a glorious day so everyone was sitting outside. We were attended to by a cheery young girl who informed us that they had fruit scones so we opted for five of them. What is it with cherry scones over here? When our order arrived it consisted solely of cherry scones.  An ‘oops’ moment for our server who quickly and apologetically rectified the situation.

Smugglers of Strangford Lough

While we sipped our tea we could look out over the water and think of all the shenanigans that went on here in the past. Daft Eddie and a gang of smugglers called the Merry Hearts of Down used lots of caves and coves around her to ply their trade in the 18th century.

Internal view of Portaferry Hotel
Snug lounge, Portaferry Hotel

Eddie was the illegitimate son of an aristocrat therefore he only ever had one name. His surrogate parents did, however, receive a very healthy allowance every six months from a mysterious “someone”? The ‘Daft’ bit was added due to his sunny carefree disposition. His tombstone bears a single word, “Eddie”. The Merry Hearts of Down used this treacherous stretch of fast flowing water to very good effect. They knew it extremely well and also knew that the government ships pursuing them were frightened of these tidal rapids. They would make their escape through here into the calm waters of Strangford Lough. A bit like most Tories, in these parts evading tax was not seen as being particularly dishonest. It was just a game to be played with the government. To most people, these smugglers were totally invisible.

A scone at Portaferry HotelOn the other hand our scones were not smuggled. They were fresh baked and very visible and very tasty. Once again the cherry scone was very good even though it did not have the whole cherries of our previous scone at the Old Inn. The fruit scones were equally good. Overall the joyful service, the presentation with large bowls of jam and cream, the warm sunshine and the scones themselves, made for yet another topscone award. Well done Portaferry Hotel.

Republican scones

When we eventually caught a ferry we thought we should do a quick trip into Southern Ireland before a wall is built along the border. Alas we did not manage a scone in Carlingford but we did catch up with a couple of old friends … brill! Maybe another trip is required for a scone in the Republic?

Sign at Portavogie Harbour
Mural in Portavogie

Even Daft Eddie would have looked at the EU elections with a certain amount of incredulity. in the UK the two main parties have got their comeuppance. May has all but gone. Corbyn’s guiding principle has become clear at last … it’s a range of options! This clarity has ensured a total collapse in the Labour vote, especially in Scotland. Corbyn will eventually support Remain, not out of principle but out of expediency to save his own skin. Whatever … having looked at all the candidates, we are backing Daft Eddie as next leader of the Conservative Party.

BT22 1PE             tel: 028 4272 8231            Portaferry

Scones, Top

The Old Inn

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Okay, apologies, there has been much comment about the lack of scone mail recently. We have been busy but, now we are back in harness, prepare for your mailbox to be rattled on a regular basis. In this post we are in search of Irish scones … a first for us.

Northern Ireland is a fantastic country ruined by politicians and religion. We, however, have a big soft spot for this part of the world. It’s where we lived very happily from 1975 to 1982. All our children were born here so it holds many fond memories. Even with “the Troubles” in full swing at that time, the wonderful warmth of the Ulster people meant we had a great time and were very sad to leave and go back to GB.

Internal view of the Old Inn, CrawfordsburnWhat’s in a word?

On this visit we are with some fellow birdwatchers and Pat has already started her species list. We’re living for the next week in a hotel in Bangor but our first stop after coming of the ferry in Belfast, was at Crawfordsburn’s Old Inn. Some say it’s haunted. Perhaps it was here that one Irishman thought he made love to a ghost. When a clairvoyant asked if anyone in the crowd had ever made love to a ghost, he put his hand up. The clairvoyant then asked him onto the stage to explain how he had done that. Only then did he confess that he thought the clairvoyant had said “goat”.

When is a fruit scone not a fruit scone?

It is called the Old Inn because, you guessed it, it’s quite old. The thatched part in the title picture dates from the reign of Queen EA scone at the Old Inn, Crawfordsburnlizabeth … the first one, around 1600. When we entered the wonderful oak paneled interior they only had one fruit scone left. It was sitting in solitary splendour under a glass dome on the counter. Of course, we had to put it out of its misery. We were extremely well looked after by some very attentive staff. They all had that slightly irreverent Ulster way about them and a great sense of humour. After a very nice lunch we set about sharing the scone only to discover that it was not a fruit scone at all, it was a cherry one … sacre bleu! In spite of this misinformation, as cherry scones go, this was outstanding. A scone at the Old Inn, CrawfordsburnWhole cherries enveloped in a superbly soft centre and a slightly crunchy exterior. None of your tiny chopped up cherries here! It was delicious and we were delighted to kick off our Irish adventure with a topscone … yeagh!

 

Internal view of the Old Inn, Crawfordsburn
a quiet corner of the Old Inn

In the 17th century when Donaghadee became one of the main ports between Britain and Ireland, many famous travelers spent some time at the Old Inn. Dickens, Trollop, Tennyson and Swift all frequented the place. Even Dick Turpin, Paul Jones and the Peter the Great, Czar of Russia, were customers. C S Lewis even honeymooned here. We were merely following in the footsteps of many other celebrated people … emphasis on “other”.

EU elections

Now that Theresa May has finally named a resignation date perhaps she will decide to walk the North Down Coastal Path which passes through Crawfordsburn. It could make a pleasant change from fields of wheat. However, they have persuaded her to stay on long enough to welcome Donald Trump on his state visit … presumably because no one else wanted to do it.

Predictably perhaps, lots of people voted for Nigel Farage’s mono-policy Brexit Party in the EU elections. All the major parties have been punished for their handling of Brexit. Thankfully, however, the overall message was one for Remain. Perhaps Jeremy Corbyn will at long last give us some idea of what the Labour Party stands for. Goodness knows, he might even form a policy worthy of the name but maybe that’s taking things too far. Meanwhile the Tories are looking for a new leader. Any idiot has a chance of winning just as long as they have a pathological hatred of the EU.

External view of the Old Inn, CrawfordsburnBT19 1JH       tel: 028 9185 3255      The Old Inn

///repair.pans.trial

ps It’s great to be back in N Ireland. Pat’s list is currently standing at 13

Ordinary, Scones

Boardwalk

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Back in February you will all clearly remember that we visited Duck Bay on Loch Lomondside. We were impressed by its modern, almost glitzy appearance and were surprised to learn that the management, family run Cawley Hotels, also had a place in our home town of Falkirk. Typically perhaps, we then forgot all about it. You know how it is? When you live in a town like Falkirk you tend to think that nothing much changes. The odd ginormous horse’s head appears but otherwise everything pretty much stays the same.

Internal view of Boardwalk, FalkirkThings do change however and this place is a prime example. Just over a year ago it was known as the Wheelhouse because of its proximity to the Falkirk Wheel. We liked it and would occasionally drop in for a coffee or a spot of lunch. Now, however, it is called Boardwalk and it wasn’t until we walked through the door that it dawned on us … Boardwalk is Cawley Hotels place in Falkirk. Now we remember?

Internal view of Boardwalk, FalkirkIt has been transformed from its previous rather dark and subdued existence. Now it is the exact opposite. Both inside and out, it is bright and airy … an huge change for the better. There’s lots of outside seating though today was a wee bit damp to take advantage. New glass walls give the illusion of it being much bigger than it was and there are numerous different eating areas catering to all requirements.

Learning on the job

We had been hoping to have a sandwich and a scone … if they had any. HoweAfternoon tea at Boardwalk, Falkirkver, when we left Duck Bay, all these months ago, we had promised ourselves a return visit to try their delicious looking meringues and strawberry tarts. Here at Boardwalk, we ended up opting for an afternoon tea since that seemed to encompass all our needs – sandwiches, scones, meringues and strawberry tarts … perfecto! A scone at Boardwalk, FalkirkWe were looked after by a nervous looking young chap who had obviously just started and was being tutored in the fine art of looking after discerning sconey’s every whim. He did very well and by the time we left, he not only seemed to have grown in confidence but also in stature … brill!. What about the scones?

Tricky decision

Well, everything was excellent, including the scones. Unfortunately we found ourselves debating whether or not they were topscones and sadly decided that they just missed out .. by the merest smidgen. A little on the big side and a little short on fruit. It was the same tricky decision when we were at Duck Bay so perhaps we should not have been surprised. Everything else about Boardwalk looks and feels great so we will definitely return before long.
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Internal view of Boardwalk, Falkirk

Prince Archie

In between the wall to wall coverage of Prince Archie’s arrival you sometimes get a snippet of Brexit news. Unbelievably, now we will have to elect new representatives to the EU Parliament … even though we are leaving. Okay the EU has stipulated that the UK must not make mischief in the new Parliament but try telling that to mischief-maker-in-chief, Nigel Farage. It seems to us that the EU should have the ability to expel members. The UK must have cost the EU dearly in terms of money and time wasted. They should just expel us and then independent Scotland can get on with the job of rejoining.

External view of Boardwalk, FalkirkWhen we were on the Independence march in Glasgow last week we were impressed with the enthusiasm of the many young people taking part. Why not, it’s their future? They tend to get drowned out by the older voters however. Hence back in February in our Offshore post (the one before Duck Bay), we proposed that everyone one year older than me should be shot. The proposal raised much concerned comment from, perhaps unsurprisingly, readers who thought they might be affected. Okay, it’s a tad radical but we see no reason to change! Otherwise, for goodness sake, how are people supposed to learn to vote correctly?

FK1 4AD       tel: 01324 272427        Boardwalk Falkirk

///ambushes.tungsten.ranges

Scones, Top

Kelvin Pocket Café

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We are in Glasgow for the AUOB (All Under One Banner) March for Independence. We’re not born protesters but let’s face it we’ve got to do something so that Scotland can stop having its decisions made by another country. Being torn out of the EU against our will is bad enough but now that Theresa May has said that she will refuse permission for another referendum in Scotland, there is fresh impetus for this march.

Storm troopers

The Edinburgh march last year which over 100,000 people attended was our first. It was such good fun we thought we should do it again. This three mile Glasgow march was from Kelvingrove Park to Glasgow Green … far enough for our wee legs. It was also the 4th May and National Star Wars Day. We should have guessed that we might be in for a crazy day when the electronic signs at Falkirk High station were displaying “May the Fourth be with you, all light sabres and tickets must be ready for inspection”. Later we would find ourselves marching alongside a kilted storm-trooper.Internal view of the Kelvin Pocket Café, Glasgow

Brie and Thyme

Anyway, we met up with our friends (fellow marchers) and got the subway to Kelvingrove station where we could join up with the multitudes. We had half an hour to spare, however, and it just so happened that right outside the station there was the Kelvin Pocket Café … an unexpected scone opportunity perhaps ?

Haggis and cracked pepper crisps
Even the crisps had gone all Scottish

We thought it got its name from the fact that it’s pretty small, but no. Apparently it relates to the fact that their outside seating area is a little sheltered suntrap in the afternoon. Today, all these seats were taken but we managed to get the last table inside … and yes, they had scones. A cheese scone at the Kelvin Pocket Café, Glasgow

Unfortunately there were only cheese scones left so it was Hobson’s choice. These scones weren’t just any old cheese scones though. They were Brie and Thyme scones and they were delicious. Supplied just with butter they had a lovely crunchy texture and the flavour was subtle but wonderful. This is the first cheese scone to acquire our highest accolade … well done the Kelvin Pocket. The coffee was also great … they get it from Climpson & Sons in London and the beans are available to buy at the counter. Service was friendly and everything was prepared on site. There wasn’t anything not to like about this place. A great start to our day.

The Time Is NoAUOB March, Glasgow, May 2019w

All too soon, however, our scones were but a memory and we had to head out to join the throng. A flotilla of wheelchairs and a pipe band, specially formed for the event, were in the lead. In spite of causing major disruption throughout the city the atmosphere was one of celebration. Even the people being held up were cheering us on. All sorts of people, all sorts of nationalities, all sorts of ages, all happily walking together. It had a carnival feel. The police were even joining in as people waved from tenement windows, buses and cars all along the route. Restaurants were emptying as staff and patrons came out on to the pavements to lend their support.

AUOB March, Glasgow, May 2019
Front page of the Sunday National

The weather, though threatening to rain on several occasions, was kind to us. We got to our destination in reasonable shape. Estimates are that it was as big as the 100,000 Edinburgh march and we have no reason to doubt that. We had something to eat, listened to the music and the speechs and as we were leaving to go home marchers were still just arriving at Glasgow Green.

Terracota Fountain at Glasgow Green
The Doulton terracotta fountain at Glasgow Green with the Templeton Building in the form of  the Doge’s Palace in Venice in the distance
Another fine mess

Westminster has just embroiled itself in yet another mess with Secretary of State for Defence Gavin Williamson or to be perfectly accurate, ex Secretary of State for Defence. Incredibly, in spite of the Tories losing over 1300 councillors in the recent local elections and all the gains going to Remain parties it is being interpreted by May as a mandate “to get on and leave”.

AUOB March, Glasgow, May 2019
Flags on railings at Glasgow Green

Today it was heartening to be in the presence of so many who were all literally singing from the same hymn sheet. It’s time for Scotland to flourish, hold its head up and go its own way. After Brexit we have Scexit.

G4 9HG              tel: 07793 315700                Kelvin Pocket TA

///rests.move.jungle

ps: The Pedant has been busy in Cheltenham. He found one K6 being used as a cash dispenser and another group of 6 K6s all made at the Lion Foundry in Kirkintilloch but none working.K6 telephone boxes in Cheltenham

What do you call a group of six telephone boxes? Maybe ‘a call’? Other suggestions welcome. If you are really keen you can find the one on the left at

///remind.zone.plank

Ordinary, Scones

Bo’ness & Kinneil Railway

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You’ve all heard of Albert Einstein … general clever clogs with all the fancy theories and the big toes. Today, in a somewhat similar vein, we are testing our own Theory of Sconativity SS=(s¹,s²) where SS = scone satisfaction, s¹ = speed of scone and s² = speed of person eating scone. If s¹ and s² have the same value then SS can be achieved. Normally this theory is of little importance because everything is static however it’s of supreme importance when scones are moving. Okay, too much science?

The Lord Robert steam train at Bo'ness and Kinneil Railway
Lord Roberts at Manuel Junction with the electrified Glasgow Edinburgh line on the right

The test is being conducted on board the Bo’ness and Kinneil steam railway which is Scotland’s equivalent of the Large Hadron Collider near Geneva which also, in its own small way, tests the predictions of different theories of particle physics … crumbs?! We are using the Lord Roberts steam engine which was built in Glasgow in 1899. It’s sometimes used for Thomas The Tank Engine outings. Today it is our scone accelerator.

Journey time enough?

There is something rather surreal and exciting about having afternoon tea on a train. Afternoon tea at Bo'ness and Kinneil RailwayIt probably happens all the time on the Orient Express but that is not an experience we are likely to have. Here we were hurtling through the  countryside at a heady 19.75 mph and enjoying tea and scones … brill! The legal limit for this railway is 20 mph so the driver, with a somewhat wry smile, informed us that 19.75 was as fast as they ever go?? Anyway, our afternoon tea was presented very promptly at the start of our trip. Afternoon tea at Bo'ness and Kinneil RailwayGiven that the journey to Manuel Junction, taking in stops at Kinneil and Birkhill stations, lasts no longer than twenty minutes all the teas have to be prepared beforehand and brought onto the train ready plated.

There was a good selection of sandwiches, a few cakes and two scones each accompanied with jam and clotted cream (Rodda’s). No topscones but suffice to say that the Sconativity Theory proved to be completely accurate. Even though the scones were traveling at a considerable velocity … so were we!  SS was well and truly achieved.

Emperors
Birkhill station at Bo'ness and Kinneil Railway
Birkhill station

Japan has a new Emperor … wow! We think Jeremy Corbyn has ambitions to be an Emperor too. Simple ‘Prime Minister’ is not going to cut it for him. We don’t expect anything other than self-preservation principles from the Conservatives but we do from Labour. However, after a seemingly promising start as a man of principle, Corbyn has disappointingly proved to be anything but. After a year of sitting on the fence he has decided, after a much lauded meeting of the Labour party on Brexit, to continue fence sitting. We can only assume that this spinelessness is powered, not by the needs of the country, but by simple personal ambition. It’s a bit like his stance on Scottish independence. He wants independence for every country in the world … except Scotland … purely out of self interest. He is never going to become Emperor without Scotland’s die hard Labour voters.Vintage luggage at Bo'ness and Kinneil Railway

Heyho, many thanks for the kindness of those who gifted us our Railway Afternoon Tea Vouchers. It was an absolute delight.

EH51 9AQ        tel: 01506 822298        Bo’ness & Kinneil

ps: There was a Falkirk manufactured K6 at Bo’ness station. It had been converted to defibrillator storage.K6 telephone box at Bo'ness and Kinneil Railway