Category Archives: Scones

All of our scone posts

Rhubarb Lime Coffee Shop

16 June 2021 billpaterson1@me.com 4 Comments

Many many months ago, the Laird got in touch to say that the Rhubarb Lime Coffee Shop in the village of Kippen was worthy of investigation. Needless to say, COVID made that impossible until now. The Laird of course is the self-styled Laird of Dumyat (Dum-eye-at), a hill that provides an impressive backdrop to the City of Stirling. As it happens, self-styling in this neck of the woods is a tradition that goes back quite a long way.

Lost dinner

Back in the early 16th century King James V of Scotland (Mary Queen of Scots’ dad) was resident at Stirling Castle. When travelling outwith the castle he usually adopted the more low key guise of “The Guid Man o’ Ballengeich”. One day he dispatched a party of men to hunt for deer at Gartmore. On their return journey they were attacked and relieved of their venison by a band of men led by John Buchanan … the self-styled King of Kippen. When Buchanan was informed the venison was for the King, he said “He may be King of Scotland but I am King of Kippen“. When the men returned empty handed and told James the story he was not a happy bunny.

Lessons

He assembled some men and rode to Buchanan’s palace at Arnprior where he was refused entry. The guard saying that his master was at his dinner and was not to be disturbed. James replied, “Tell your master, the Guid Man o’ Ballengeich humbly requests an audience with the King of Kippen“. Buchanan guessed the identity of the Guid Man and received His Majesty appropriately. They became great friends and thereafter the King of Kippen was always welcomed as a brother sovereign at the Royal Court. We tell you this story because we think it may hold valuable lessons for the Vladimirs, Borises and Joes of this rather fractious world.

Anyway let’s get to the scones. Rhubarb Lime, run by Shona and Greg, is a small place but it packs a lot in. It must be a bit of a hub for the village. Besides being a cafe it also sells a good range of groceries and a great range of mostly Italian wines. My brother had joined us to experience at first hand his first real scone adventure. We decided to sit outside where we could witness village life as it happened. On the opposite side of the street was the butcher’s shop … appropriately named “Skinner of Kippen”. The service was very friendly and we were soon wonderfully sorted with some excellent lunch followed by plain scones … no fruit scones left!

Adventures

Shona had made them earlier in the day so suffice to say, the scones were excellent. The best we have tasted in a long time. Nicely presented with ample clotted cream and raspberry jam. They were just how we like them, lovely and soft with that slightly crunchy exterior. A very easy topscone. Before we left, Pat and I bought some wine. But my brother, still high on adrenalin from the adventure, lost all sense of self control and bought more than a dozen bottles of his favourite Primitivo.

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We were surprised to find such a good range of wine in a pretty wee village like this. But perhaps we shouldn’t have been? Back in 1891 a descendent of the King of Kippen planted a vine which ended up as the biggest in the world covering 460 m²and four large greenhouses. Unfortunately in 1964 it was cut down by yet another descendent so Greg has to source his wine directly from Italy. Apparently cuttings from the original vine (Gros Colman variety) are still flourishing in greenhouses all over the village and the surrounding area, so the old vine lives on.

Will Team Scotland live on in the European Football Championships? That’s the big question! So far they have maintained that age old tradition of losing magnificently … 2-0 against the Czech Republic. At the end of this week Scotland will be confronted by the old enemy, England. We don’t actually care who wins … and we wrote that with a straight face believe it or not? Okay, you don’t!

Traditions need to be maintained. Many thanks to the Laird, both Kings and Rhubarb Lime from the Lord and Lady of Scones!

FK8 3DN tel: 01786 870077 Rhubarb Lime

///brief.reader.blatantly

Ordinary, Scones

Fisher & Donaldson

11 June 2021 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

Have you heard of Jeddart Justice? Originating in the border town of Jedburgh it’s where someone is hanged first, and tried afterwards.

Pastries at Fisher & Donaldson — F&D pastries

Well apparently the good folk of Cupar in Fife once accidentally drowned a man who refused to leave his cell. Rather than cheat him out of a trial they put his body on the stand anyway. Don’t know if he was found guilty or not. We think Boris would love to dish out Jeddart Justice to a host of people but it would probably be frowned upon these days. Anyway, we are in Cupar today, not looking for justice of any kind … just a scone. Fisher & Donaldson seemed like a likely spot.

It’s that time of year! When driving up to Cupar the fields were as green as green could be … almost impossibly green. Apart, of course, from the rape fields which were solid swathes of that impossible chrome yellow. Everything looked wonderfully fresh and vibrant.

In case of confusion

The town of Cupar in Fife should not be confused with that well known song “The Wee Cooper of Fife”. Everyone knows the words.

There was a wee cooper who lived in Fife
Nickety, nockety, noo, noo, noo

At first this doesn’t seem to make any sense however everything becomes clear with the next few lines:

And he ha’ gotten a gentle wife
Hey Willie Wallacky, hey John Dougall
Alane quo rushety, roo, roo, roo.

No messing

Fisher & Donaldson are not exactly new kids on the block. Their bakery has been supplying the local area for over 100 years. It has a very traditional atmosphere and layout though the compartmentalised layout is mainly due to COVID restrictions. When we asked for scones the lady serving us, who had the demeanour of someone who had been closely related to the chap in the flooded cell, wasn’t sure if there were any left. After checking she said there were two, one cheese and one cherry. Fine that was all we wanted. When we asked for cream it prompted a very straight faced reply “No … we don’t do that sort of thing!” Okay, we were only asking!

When they arrived they actually looked rather promising. Pat’s cheese one was good and my cherry one was also very acceptable. All in all everything was fine but no topscones here today … not with that po faced attitude to an innocent cream request. We actually spoke to the lady when we were paying our bill and she turned out to be quite good fun. We must have just caught her in a moment when she was thinking of her drowning relative.

Hickory shafts

We used to go on holiday with the children to Hill of Tarvit in Cupar and had great fun. However, at that time I hadn’t realised that the local Kingarrock nine-hole golf course (founded in 1855) still used hickory shafted clubs. All my clubs have hickory shafts … that’s all there was available when I bought them? My golfing career was very short lived and although everyone laughed at my clubs I certainly could not blame them for my performances.

KY15 5JT tel: 01334 652551 Fisher and Donaldson

///fortnight.focal.neon

You will remember in our last post from Rufflets we visited our Bathurst correspondents family who lived nearby. Well simultaneously we received a note from our correspondents saying they had revisited the Cafe Zestt in Crookwell and were less than impressed … scone arrived 10 minutes after their coffee was finished … unforgivable! More interestingly perhaps they also visited the Scottish Arms Hotel in Bowral and as well as all the usual Scottish paraphanlia there was a K6 telephone box …. made in Falkirk. It had a sort of old-fashioned handset inside, possibly a direct line to Boris, or more likely Nicola. Don’t think Boris would have answered, he is totally preoccupied with sausage wars!

Birthday girl

Remember I had a birthday girl on my hands at Rufflets. Well that was a few days before her actual birthday. On the big day itself friends invited us round to their place for afternoon tea. What a fabulous afternoon that turned out to be.
We sat down in their garden at 2.30 and were still there at 8.30 … that’s how good it was. Home baked scones were the highlight though I was told in no uncertain terms that they were not to be critiqued under any circumstances. But they were definitely topscones so it’s impossible not to.

One of our granddaughters joined us for a time and just as she did so a tooth that had been threatening to come out for days, fell out. More business for the tooth fairy!She knows how to keep her granny happy though. Many thanks L&R for a fabulous afternoon … and evening!

Scones, Top

Rufflets

6 June 2021 billpaterson1@me.com 9 Comments

Oh dear, what do you do when you have a birthday girl on your hands and you are in lockdown? You can’t go out to buy presents, in fact you can’t go anywhere! But, wait a sec! We can now travel to anywhere in Scotland … it’s official. Okay, they would rather you didn’t but I go back to my original quandary. Suffice to say we are here in St Andrews at Rufflets having done what seemed like a massive road trip to get here. We actually drove for more than an hour … first time in living memory! Okay that’s not that long given our combined memories general state of decrepitude. It did seem like a road trip though … quite thrilling! Anyway, we were having a few days roughing it here at Rufflets. Don’t worry it’s not actually that rough.

Jute

Rufflets was built in 1924 by a local jute baron. In fact, nearby Dundee was once the jute capital of the world. Nowadays most people have never heard of the stuff but back in the good old Empire days we pilfered loads of the stuff from impoverished Bangladeshis. Never mind, with a new Royal Yacht on order, Britain will surely rule the waves once again and go around the globe poking its nose in where it’s not wanted. Or maybe it’s just for Boris and his extensive family to go on holiday with the Rees Moggs? As long as the scones are as good as they were on Britannia we don’t mind,

Rejuvenation

When Rufflets was a private home it must have been magnificent in its ten acres of gardens but since 1952 it has been a hotel and run by the same family ever since.

Pat in the garden at Rufflets Hotel — She didn’t fall in

After all this time in lockdown you can’t beat a few days of pampering and wandering round these beautiful grounds to feel rejuvenated … like COVID had never actually happened. Having to wear a mask when moving around inside the hotel was the only reminder.

We spent a day going round St Andrews. It’s a lovely place but my goodness we hadn’t seen so many people in a long long time. It was busy, busy, busy! Scotland is now in Level One which means that things are almost back to normal but rules about masks and social distancing still apply. Overall, however, the atmosphere is much more relaxed than it’s been for a long time.

Rather than have a scone in town we headed back to Rufflets to see what their scones were like. And, of course, you would also like to know as well, wouldn’t you!

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At last, Scottish jam

When the weather is like it is, where better to do some intensive sconology but on the Rufflets terrace. Unsurprisingly perhaps the service was impeccable. We didn’t think it appropriate to ask for cream and sure enough the scones arrived with everything a discerning sconologist would expect. Starched and ironed linen napkins, a bowl of clotted cream and Galloway Lodge jam from Gatehouse-of-Fleet. What’s not to like?The scones themselves were crunchy on the outside and soft in the middle, just the way we like them. Again, unsurprisingly we gave them a topscone.

Sitting here eating beautiful scones in the beautiful sunshine on a beautiful terrace in a beautiful garden with a beautiful girl, one felt slightly detached from the real world. It’s okay now though … we’re back!

KY16 9TX tel: 01334 472594 Rufflets Hotel

///earth.agreement.trappings

PS: You all know our Australian Bathurst correspondents by now. Together with the New South Welshman they have kept us abreast of sconological events down under for the past couple of years. When it has been difficult to go on scone adventures in the UK they have provided us with invaluable additional posts. However, you probably don’t know that part of their family lives here in Scotland.

The past couple of years have been particularly difficult for them since they have been unable to visit their grandchildren due to COVID. Their daughter lives only a mile or so away from Rufflets with her husband and two daughters. We hadn’t met them before but decided to just barge in and introduce ourselves. What an absolute pleasure that turned out to be! They are the warmest kindest people … obviously something to do with the stock they come from! I even had my first post-lockdown pint of Guinness in the Tavern at Strathkinness (pronounced Strathkinis I was reliably informed by a chap at the bar).

Wishful thinking

Anyway our stay at Rufflets has come to an end. We have emerged back into the real world to find that the G7 have found a way to get large multinationals to pay their fair share of tax. After years of saying its couldn’t be done it only took a couple of hours over dinner to get it sorted. Brilliant, maybe if the G7 had a scone on the terrace here at Rufflets they could sort out a whole lot more pressing global problems?

Ordinary, Scones

Antonio’s

22 May 2021 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

We just happened to be passing and because we had heard that Antonio’s had undergone a bit of a face lift we thought we should check it out. On our previous visit it was known as Antonio’s Deli. That was about a year and a half ago when we were concerned for the safety of our Australian friends as the whole country appeared to be consumed by flames. It was also before we had even heard of coronavirus and COVid-19. My, how times have changed … but would they have changed at Antonio’s as well?

Well, yes they had. The main dining area had been stripped back to the bare sandstone and was looking rather swish. It was full of customers when we arrived so we had to sit next door next to a counter full of delicious looking Italian cannoli biscuits.

Cannoli is a tube-shaped shell of deep fried pastry dough filled with slightly sweet and creamy filling, Enough of this temptation! We need to maintain discipline … we are here for the scones

Carried away

One of the memorable things from our last visit was Alina. A lovely Rumanian lady who looked after us back then and she was still there, yeah! She soon had us sorted out with some lunch and a scone which she offered to hold until after we were finished. She also said she would toast it for us as well. In spite of all this, however the scone did not quite hit the topscone grade. You can see from the picture that Pat got a bit carried away and cut it up before I was able to take a photograph. Years of training and for what?

Taking the biscuit

When I went to pay our bill, Alina gave us a wee box filled with cannoli biscuits … what a girl! And what did we do, we put the box down and then left without it. It wasn’t until we got home and looked at the pictures that we realised we had left it. I was so intent on waiting for a fleeting space in the traffic to get a picture that I hadn’t noticed Alina trying desperately to attract our attention. And then we just drove off.

When we realised what we had done we went straight back and Alina had put them to one side for us … what a girl!

What a team! St Johnstone from Perth won the Scottish Cup earlier today playing against Hibernian from Edinburgh. St Johnstone have now picked up a host of trophies. And all on a minuscule budget compared to the likes of Rangers and Celtic. Well done

Remember Palestine, remember COVID, yes, well tell the BBC. Since the Martin Bashir/Princess Diana story broke there has been nothing else on their news channels. The BBC are, of course, ashamed. Not at the story but the fact that they have been caught trying to cover it all up. Their polished exterior as the bastion of truth has been well and truly tarnished. Of course, anyone in Scotland will tell you that their so called impartial, truth-telling ethos was tarnished long before now. This is the self same corporation we all have to pay a fortune to every year for fear of ending up in jail if we don’t. Time for the BBC to have along hard look at how they do things and get themselves sorted out. Antonio’s has done it, so they can too!

FK1 1HR tel: 01324 637000 Antonio’s FB

Ordinary, Scones

The Venue

14 May 2021 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

We are on the golf course today! Now those of you who know us are aware that that statement is nonsense. The Venue at the Braes Golf Centre is only a couple of miles from home yet we had never heard of it. In our defense, there are some mitigating circumstances. Until recently it was called Polmont Golf Course and it has moved from where it used to be. It is now located in Maddiston on the the high ground to the south of Falkirk. So they’ve moved it and changed the name … it’s almost as if they are trying to avoid us! It only came onto our radar because our Trossachs correspondents visited the Venue recently and were impressed with what was going on.

view of Braes Golf Centre — Work in progress, the course is yet to mature properly

Work in progress

The title picture is taken from the car park and as you can see the Venue is not exactly a thing of beauty. In fact, when we got chatting to the new owner, Steve Matthews, he called it a carbuncle. Steve is a brave guy. He has rescued the golf club mid-pandemic and has big plans to make it a goto golf destination. In the meantime it’s a work in progress.

Inside there is a nice restaurant but because it was quite a good day we opted for the outdoor area. It is set up with picnic table type seating and has a couple of gazebos in case the weather should become inclement … perish the thought! It is located on top of a hill and Steve told us that there used to be three gazebos but the day before, one blew away. Now we understood why there’s a huge windmill towering over the whole course.

Surprising

Obviously we were not here for the golf but on the way through the restaurant we did get our eye on some scones. Steve had told us that, because they don’t have a full staff, they only had one chef and he was on a couple of days off. All they could do was coffee and cakes. A delightful young waitress looked after us and before long our scone arrived. Now we knew before we started that this was never going to be a topscone; no chef, so not particularly fresh; no cream and no Scottish butter. In addition we suspected that the apricot jam wasn’t from Scotland either!? Having said all that however, it was all surprisingly good.

If the welcome and the almost palpable energy is anything to go by The Venue and the Braes Golf Centre will be firmly back on the map very soon. We wish Steve and his team all the luck in the world.

External view of Braes Golf Centre — The Venue, from one the nine holes at the Braes Golf Centre

Save Scotland

Well the results of the Scottish elections are in and independence supporting parties now have a big majority at Holyrood. Will this make any difference? Of course not! The UK is now to be held together by force of law rather than consent. Westminster will not give the Scottish people a say in their own destiny. Apparently it is for our own good because we would never be able to manage our £40 billion deficit! This from a government with a £2 trillion deficit.

Also, in spite of having 32% of the land and most of the natural resources we are too small to survive on our own. And in spite of having some of the best universities in the world we are also too stupid. Thank goodness we have the BBC and Boris to save us from ourselves. Who would have thought that the fate of Scotland and its people would lie squarely in the hands of a super wealthy, over privileged blubbering idiot who is too frightened to even visit Scotland. Really, you couldn’t make it up!

Scones, topbagns

Food4Friends

6 May 2021 billpaterson1@me.com 6 Comments

Before we tell you about Food4Friends please permit us a small ramble. Isn’t it just fantastic! Just as we were resigning ourselves to a day of the media going on endlessly about the elections being held today, we awake to the news that Britain is sending warships to confront France! Wow, it’s just like old times … and against our favourite enemy. You can almost hear the jingoism in Westminster. Jacob Rees-Mogg will be standing on the white cliffs singing Rule, Britannia! You would think that there must be a better way to settle disputes? Oh yes, we remember now, that’s why the EU was formed! Now do you see, all you lily-livered Remoaners, war with France wouldn’t have been remotely possible without Brexit … hurrah!

Thoughtful

Enough of that, we should give Food4Friends a mention. A very good mention at that because we selected them to help us celebrate our wedding anniversary with one of their afternoon teas. They are a well established Falkirk company but, up until now, we haven’t used them. What would they be like? Well right from the get-go things looked very promising. Everything was neatly packed in recyclable bags and boxes … you could just tell that thoughtful care had been taken (see title photo). And the contents did not disappoint either.

Reminiscing

It was a chilly day so we carefully unpacked everything with a view to eating it sitting in front of a nice open fire. To help things along we began with a glass of Rosé Bollinger. We know we shouldn’t now that we have the prospect of war with France but hey … Auld Alliance and all that! And before you all think we have become a bit too decadent, we don’t have Bolli every day! As often as we can but not every day. We also had some Scottish All Day tea courtesy of our favourite coffee company. What could be better? We sat reflecting on our wedding in Strathyre while nibbling wonderfully fresh smoked salmon and cream cheese sandwiches. At £20 we thought it good value for money … especially when we remembered that £20 represented almost a fifth of our entire wedding budget for 120 guests.

In our last post at the Granary Café we liked the look of the scones but were a wee bit disappointed with the size and the texture. This time we were a bit disappointed with the look of the scones (preloaded) but were very pleasantly surprised when it came to eating them. Top marks, best preloaded scones we have ever had!

Sorting things out

By the time we got to the cakes we had almost forgotten about elections and potential wars with France. It did remind us however that the main reason for forming the Union between England and Scotland in 1707 was because England considered Scotland to be far too friendly with the French. Scotland didn’t get a say in 1707, just as it doesn’t get a say now. Hopefully after today’s election we might start on the road to sorting all that out. So heres to everyone voting correctly!

In the meantime we can thoroughly recommend Food4Friends. They even have a Secret Supper Club!

tel: 07715 629093 Food4Friends

Ordinary, Scones, weird

The Granary Café

3 May 2021 billpaterson1@me.com 7 Comments

Guess where we are? We’re out and about … yeah! Although we have been legally allowed to do this for a couple of weeks now we haven’t ventured very far. We thought we would just wait until all the excited crowds died down a wee bit. But today we are being super adventurous and have traveled all of six miles to the Granary Café in Linlithgow. Goodness, we were even on a motorway for all of half a mile … exciting! After having been locked down for so long, however, it really did feel like an adventure! Finally out sconing again and acting on a tip-off we received a couple of weeks back.

Big bad world

Our informant said that the scones at the Granary Café were worth checking out. Over the years we have visited several cafés in the town but it’s been such a long time, we couldn’t remember if the Granary was one of them. A quick search for ‘Linlithgow’ on allaboutthescones threw up seven we had already reviewed but the Granary wasn’t one. Okay, today was the day as we gently ventured forth once again into the big bad world.

It was great to see everyone sitting in the sunshine at the pub next door but we were just revelling in the fact that we were able to sit inside and be served a scone by very helpful staff. Hoping for a choice of fruit or plain our waitress threw us a curved ball when she offered us a mango and coconut scone. In the interests of scon ological research it had to be done … Pat opted for fruit.

Keeping it real

I would never normally go for hot chocolate but this offering seemed too good to miss so hot chocolate it was. Wow, as if just being out wasn’t enough!

We didn’t have long to wait before we realised our mistake.

A mango and coconut scone at the Granary Café — Mango and coconut scone

The scones looked fabulous but were of a size that meant we should have shared one between us. A topscone would have been nice to celebrate our first outing but sadly, it wasn’t to be. Although nice enough they were just too big for our liking and they didn’t actually taste as if they were freshly baked … Irish butter and no cream! Not to worry, the mango and coconut was good and a new experience but not one I would rush to repeat. The fruit scone was nice but Pat could only manage half. The real hot chocolate?? Nice for a change but again not something I would make a habit of. In spite of all this carping we really enjoyed this place. It is well presented with an emphasis on healthy eating and the staff were super friendly. Many thanks to SS for the tip, we will be back.

Learning from history

Just a stone’s throw from the Granary lies the Cross Well. In 1650 it was badly damaged by the occupying forces of Oliver Cromwell. A tradition carried in 1746 when the Duke of Cumberland set fire to the Palace … just another stone’s throw away.

You would think that Scots would have learned from this that, when it comes to looking after Scotland’s interests, those in the south are maybe not as good as the Scots themselves at making decisions in Scotland’s interest. In two days time Scotland goes to the polls, not to vote on independence but to hopefully start a process that will lead to Scots being able to make their own decisions. Only then we can strike up a proper relationship with our friends to the south .. one built on mutual respect and understanding. In the meantime we have to put up with another couple of days of Westminster’s Project Fear…scary!

People born in Linlithgow are known as Black Bitches. Alex Salmond was born in Linlithgow. Is that relevant? We’re not sure.

EH 49 7AQ tel: 01506 253408 Granary Cafe

///riders.breeze.cooked

Scones, Top

Scone 54

26 April 2021 billpaterson1@me.com 9 Comments

Now, you may be puzzled by the Scone 54 title of this post? Let us explain. We don’t normally get personal in this blog … except of course with eejits like Johnson and Cameron. Normally we try and keep things fairly anonymous because after all this is a serious, insightful, hard hitting blog that politicians and shoddy sconeries have come to fear! Yeah right! However, on this occasion we are prepared to make an exception. This is a little bit personal but, we’ll hope you agree, for a valid reason.

Good friends, A&A (we’ll keep it slightly anonymous), were celebrating their 54th wedding anniversary and as a result invited us round to their house for a cream tea. Now do you get the Scone 54 title?

Lucky, lucky lucky

We thought about the invitation for all of what must have been a fraction of a nanosecond … a no-brainer! What an achievement! Not many people get the pleasure of spending this amount of time with their loved ones. Having said that, all our friends have been married for what seems like all of their lives a

54th wedding anniversary — scones al fresco

nd they are, without exception, very happy. Not sure if that says anything about our generation or the times we were brought up in but probably not. We have all just been very lucky with our partners. At 54 years, however, A&A are leading the charge . I am reluctant to say that I was their best man because it reveals my age as being greater than mid fifties … but I was!

Scotland is having wonderful weather for April so we sat in the their back garden (COVID rules still don’t allowed us to have friends indoors) and were treated to homemade scones served with strawberry jam and lots of cream … oh, and bubbles. Can you think of a better way to spend an afternoon?

The scones were definitely topscones … and we are not just saying that out of politeness to A&A. Just the right size, slightly crunchy exterior and wonderfully soft interior. In fact, everything was perfect.

54 at 54

By the time we had eaten all the scones and drunk all the bubbles we wanted to carry on so Pat invited everyone round to ours for a BBQ. That went on until well after dark and many sausages and burgers were dispatched in the process. The culmination was a marshmallow toasting session over the fire.

A fantastic way to celebrate a fantastic achievement with fantastic friends. If you are wondering what 54 years of togetherness, making and eating scones looks like, look no further. Many thanks A&A.

Because Scone 54 is more of a personal post we thought we might leave the politics off to one side for a change. Then we thought that A&A would definitely prefer us to take a potshot at Boris & Co.

Westminster now seems to be abandoning the voluntary nature of the Act of Union that currently binds the four distinct parts of the UK together. It has done for over 300 years. Now they are thinking of bringing in legislation to make it illegal to have a referendum on Scottish Independence until Westminster thinks it’s a good idea … in other words, sometime never! The Union will be maintained by force of law. The people of Scotland won’t have a say in their own future. That’s UK democracy! Au contraire Boris, the Scottish people will have their say and you better believe it. With a bit of luck you will go down in history as the man who broke the Union! Okay, that’s it, another marshmallow please.

Scones, Uncategorized

Panko crusted balls

22 April 2021 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

What, we hear you cry! What are panko crusted balls? And, more the point, what have they go, to do with scones. Well, just hold on a minute and we’ll try and justify this post.

The main reason is that these wee beauties are a kind of by-product of scones. They are in fact scones without the sugar and without the fruit. Next time you are making scones just set a little of your mixture aside before you put the sugar in and you can make these little savoury balls.

Once you have rolled the dough into perfectly formed orbs of deliciousness, all you have to do is cover them with panko breadcrumbs and bake them in the oven until they’re golden brown. We know … just when you thought you knew what a breadcrumb was, those cunning Japanese come up with a new more exotic variety. Typical! Panko crusted balls are for dipping. Tasty with sour cream and chive sauce, curry sauce or anything other sauce that takes your fancy.

Bingo, scones and panko crusted balls all at the same time! What more justification do you need? Well, perhaps the main reason for making this post was to have a moan at Boris and his pals who currently rule over us. Their corrupt government at Westminster seems to get deeper and deeper in sleaze by the minute. But then that’s hardly surprising … or even news! Though they will need a bigger carpet to sweep it all under.

ABOMINATION

And here’s another justification, as if any more were needed! An article in the Guardian has been brought to our attention. It is about slab scones?!You are supposed to fill a baking tray with scone mixture then, when it’s baked, cover the whole thing with clotted cream and decorate with strawberries. Sacre bleu!

Slab scones are an abomination and cannot be allowed. The Guardian, of all newspapers, should have known better than to publish such ridiculous nonsense. As you read this we are already preparing our protest placards in the best Father Ted tradition … DOWN WITH THIS SORT OF THING!

Scones, Uncategorized

Aberdeen butteries

14 April 2021 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

WARNING 1: if you want to live as long as the Duke of Edinburgh do not eat too many of these. WARNING 2: if you fancy making some Aberdeen butteries set a whole a day aside.

By this time you may be wondering why we are making them. Well, principally because we were prodded with a big pointy stick by one of our Trossachs correspondents. She was brought up eating Aberdeen butteries in Burghead, one of our favourite places. It is home to one of Scotland’s best eating establishments, the Bothy Bistro … banana and bacon croissants to die for! Burghead also has two New Years. One on the 1st January (a kind of light rehearsal) and and then another on the 14th. The 14th is the Julian calendar new year and they celebrate it with Burning the Clavie.

The Clavie King goes all round the town to the Doorie Hill carrying a blazing barrel of tar on a pole above his head. And then the whole town dances in the street until the wee small hours. It’s great fun. Not sure if this sort of behaviour has anything to do with them eating Aberdeen butteries but it may well be a contributory factor.

Rowies

Oddly, in Aberdeen itself these butteries are more commonly known as ‘rowies’. “The toonsers ca’ them rowies and the teuchters ca’ them butteries,” most probably said by a resident of Aberdeen. We must be teuchters! They have also been referred to as “evil bricks of tasty.” You’ll understand why when we take you through the making process but maybe just a look at the ingredients will give you a clue: 250g butter, 125g lard, 1 tablespoon soft brown sugar, 500g flour, 2 teaspoons of dried yeast, 450ml warm water, pinch of salt … there’s a lot of fat! First you make a paste with sugar, yeast and a little warm water. Then mix the flour and salt and add the yeast paste once it has bubbled up. Leave it for 30-40 minutes to rise.

Then cream the butter and lard and divide it into three equal portions. When the dough has doubled in size, give it another good knead and roll it into a rectangle about 1cm thick. Spread one of the butter portions over two thirds of the dough. Fold the unbuttered bit over half of the buttered bit then fold the rest over to make three layers then roll it out again to its original size … phew! Leave for 40 minutes in the fridge.

Yawn!

Then you do all that again using the rest of the lard/butter portions … TWICE! By the time we had done all that it was getting near our bedtime! Then divide the dough into 16 pieces and shape into a circle before putting them on your baking tray. Then leave for another 45 minutes until they rise. What … another 45 minutes? It’s now past our bedtime however fear of the big pointy stick drives us on! Finally you can put them in the oven … hallelujah! 15 mins at 200C is all they need … that’s the shortest bit of the whole process!

Trawlermen

We have no idea what these things should look like except we have heard of them being referred to as “roadkill croissants” and judging by that description we felt we had just about got it right. How do you think they taste? Surprise surprise, buttery … very buttery. Due to the constant layering, the texture is firm but flaky and not at all unpleasant. They were originally made for the Aberdeen fishing industry because they would keep longer than any other bread on lengthy trips at sea. And we can completely understand that a couple of these would easily keep a trawlerman going for a whole day. The “evil bricks of tasty” presumably comes from folks knowing that with each bite they were knocking a month off their lives but were unable to help themselves.

We had ours in various ways … just as they were, lightly toasted with jam, with a sprinkling of salt. All perfectly acceptable. However, we’ve also heard that they are excellent with cheese (preferably roquefort) or even with corned beef? Versatile or what? Anyway, with a bit of luck, the big pointy stick has been put away … for a wee while at least!

David Cameron has ended up in the doodoo for a bit of under the table wheeling and dealing. Wouldn’t be so bad if it didn’t seem to typify this entire sleazy self serving Tory administration. Probably unfair to tar them all with the same brush, there must be one decent one … musn’t there??

Lost dinner

Lessons

Adventures

In case of confusion

No messing

Hickory shafts

Birthday girl

Jute

Rejuvenation

At last, Scottish jam

Wishful thinking

Carried away

Taking the biscuit

Work in progress

Surprising

Save Scotland

Thoughtful

Reminiscing

Sorting things out

Big bad world

Keeping it real

Learning from history

Lucky, lucky lucky

54 at 54

ABOMINATION

Rowies

Yawn!

Trawlermen

by Bill and Pat Paterson and is about finding good scones throughout the world, with a little bit of politics