All good things must come to an end so this post finds us on our way north again after a fab time on the south coast. It’s bitter sweet … good to be heading home and at the same time sad to be leaving family behind. All we have to do is reverse the road trip we did to get down here. We’re taking a slightly different route and our first stop is in Warminster in Wiltshire … at the Coffee 1 café to be precise.
Warminster High Street
In 1086 the Doomsday Book refered to the town as Guerminstre. so it’s not hard to see how it ended up as Warminster. It may be famous for many things but after this post it will also be famous for its lack of tearooms – one closed for refurbishment, one a huge chain that doesn’t do scones and this one. And this one didn’t do scones either! “We might have them in again for the summer” they said. Scones are not swallows for goodness sake, they’re not migratory. They are perfectly happy to be eaten all year round. (Please let us know if you sense we are getting grumpier, it’s difficult for us to tell).
Also, only one toilet in the entire place, what’s that all about? Do you know how long a woman (or a man) with a baby can be in a toilet? If you need to go it can seem like an eternity and unfortunately for us there were several women with babies ahead of us in the queue. We’re not sure what should be banned – places with only one toilet or women (men) with babies? Okay, we do sense an increase in grumpiness!
Sconeless
In the absence of scones we had little choice but to opt for a teacake. A poor substitute but what can you do? As it turned out our teacake was rather good and they had even toasted it for us so we really have a cheek to complain. But it wasn’t a scone!! If you ever find yourself in Warminster, be warned, it is a sconeless place!
Song contests
Walking through Warminster we came on a rather nice little arcade. Warminster folks are obviously getting geared up for the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee.
Elsewhere things are gearing up for that surreal of surreal things, the final of the Eurovision Song Contest. As if the planet didn’t have enough problems, it’s being broadcast across the world tonight. Russia has been banned … is this the reason for Putin’s inexplicable fury?
Having been in Poole for a few days now we are getting to know the place quite well. Did you know that this town has produced some of the most beautiful women in the world? Yes, not a lot of people know that! How else would you explain the fact that two of the five British Miss Worlds have hailed from here? It’s also renowned for attracting the rich and famous … we’re here after all! On Panorama Road the property price-per-square-foot has exceeded that of waterside streets in Miami and Monte Carlo.
Resisting schoolboy humour
We don’t want to start any arguments but today we are trying to circumnavigate the largest natural harbour in the world, Poole harbour. Other places have tried to claim this title e.g. Sydney harbour. But that claim is usually made by Aussies and we all know what they are like when it comes to bragging! Poole harbour has an area of fourteen square miles and a coastline that extends more than one hundred miles. It also has a single access to the sea … the very definition of a ‘harbour’. Rest assured, if you heard it on allaboutthescones, it’s correct! The harbour is fed by four rivers, the main ones being the River Frome and the River Piddle. The Piddle is actually quite a bit bigger than you might expect!
The High Street, Swanage
Fossils
Circumnavigation involves quite a long drive (not by Australian standards obviously) but it cannot be done without ending up here in Swanage. This is the first town at the eastern end of the Jurassic Coast, a World Heritage Site. But with no time to go scavenging for fossils we ended up here at Gee Whites scavenging for scones. It’s an odd sort of place. They have a roof terrace but it wasn’t open. In fact, there did not appear to be any inside seating at all. So outside it had to be … at the mercy of the seagulls. We ordered tea and a fruit scone at a sort of kiosk window. When we asked if the scone came with jam and cream “That’s a cream tea if you want that” was the reply “Okay, can we have a cream tea then?” We triumphantly transported our ‘cream tea’ to a table by the water’s edge.
View from our seat … some folks fishing for crabs
This was not at all unpleasant. Although overcast it was warm and nice to sit and watch all the activity that typically goes on in all such seaside places. Rather oddly the jam and cream came packaged together in a little plastic tub. Perhaps that should have given us an early warning on the scone. It was a disappointment and worst of all it had a soggy bottom and we all know that soggy bottoms are never desirable. Inevitably perhaps, It became fodder for some of the man-eating seagulls that surrounded our table. One gull swallowed what was left in one gulp. We were impressed by its swallowing skills but mostly by its ability to fly off afterwards. It seemed to thoroughly enjoy it so maybe we’re just getting too fussy?
Another cruise
In spite of this scone setback we were happy to be in Swanage, a place we never ever expected to visit. It had taken us a good hour or so to drive round to here but to complete the circumnavigation we had to take the Sandbanks Chain Ferry across the 242 foot harbour entrance. Another four minute cruise for Pat, I know, I spoil her! First time on a chain ferry and it meant that we were home in no time at all … brill!
Unexpected consequences
Finland has applied for NATO membership after many years of steadfast and proud neutrality. The 830 mile border with Russia will achieve the exact opposite of what Mad Vlad intended and couldn’t have been achieved without his crazy invasion of Ukraine. Funny the way things turn out sometimes!
Our time in the soft south is coming to an end. Shortly we will be heading back to the wild and woolly north.
First leg of our road trip completed, we couldn’t get a more extreme contrast between our last post from Tebay Services and this place, Branksome Beach Café. One set amongst wild rugged moorland and the other on a beach looking out towards the Isle of Wight.
A different life
We are visiting our daughter’s new house. It’s big compared to the tiny one her and her family had in London and it’s in a very quiet street in a beautiful forested area. Without having to go on any roads at all you can take Branksome Chine (a very pretty wooded gully) down to the beach. The path drops you out right at Branksome Beach Café … how neat is that?
View from our seat on an overcast but warm day. France just over the horizon
Indoor beaches
In the 1930s Branksome Beach Café was Britain’s first functioning solarium. Intended to provide a year round sunbatheing facility it had an indoor beach complete with deckchairs behind huge glass windows. Now the sand and deckchairs have long gone and it has developed into one of Dorset’s landmark cafés. It also makes a claim to be the home of the rock cake! My mother made rock cakes in such a way that you never had to question how they got their name.
Bill board outside the café and an actually rock cake … neither to scale
Such a claim obviously requires testing so we got a one to share with everyone at our table. Whether the claim is true or not doesn’t really matter .. it was delicious and not too rock like! Luckily, they are not claiming to be the home of the scone … that would be simply ridiculous!
Local produce
Of course, we had to test the scones. We were sitting outside on the terrace overlooking the beach but on the way in we had noticed the scones. They were quite big so having already scoffed some rock cake we opted to share one. It came complete with a pot of jam and the ubiquitous Rodda’s Cornish Cream. Since we are relatively near Cornwall we have dropped our customary objection … it’s a local product down here!.We’re sure that the excellent service, the views out over the beach and the sea were all contributory factors in our decision to award a topscone. Well done Branksome Beach Café.
Prince Charles substituted for the Queen today at the State Opening of Parliament. It said nothing and perhaps the biggest news was that Kate, Duchess of Cambridge had travelled to Manchester on a charter flight in a Michael Kors outfit. Goodness, she’s almost common! Somehow all the pomp and pageantry seems hugely incongruous in times where more and more people are being forced to use food banks. Not that we have much room to talk, sitting here eating rock cakes and scones by the beach.
ps: our fabulous Toowoomba correspondents have sent us scone pictures from Angie’s Country cafe in Toogoolawah. Hands up everyone who knows where that is! Okay not too many.Presentation looks good as does the scone so if you ever find yourselves in Toogoolawah you know where to go.
We’re on a road trip … yeah! A bit like Easy Rider but without the motorbikes … and everything else come to think of it. It’s the M6 and we’re on our way to Poole to see our daughter’s new house …. exciting. Everyone has a favourite motorway services … don’t they? Is it just us? Anyway, if you are going to have a favourite, Tebay Services in Westmorland does it for us!
Bladder stops
Tebay Services was established in 1972 by the local farmer when the motorway was driven straight through the middle of his farm. A case of, if you can’t beat them join them. The farmshop features much of their home grown meat and veg and the whole place specialises in locally sourced produce. It’s just a bit different from the normal soulless motorway services. They even have a duck pond.
It’s about two hours drive from home and that’s roughly how long we can go these days without a bladder stop. Too much information we know but unfortunately that is just the harsh reality.
We’ve never had a scone here before so there was a degree of nervous anticipation. It’s all self service , of course, so we had to help ourselves from a box of scones and then fill a wee tub with jam from one of the large pots available. Not exactly the Ritz but the scones looked good and we soon had ourselves sorted out with everything we required.
View over part of the duck pond towards the Westmorland moors
Road trips
As scones go this one was above average but, what with it being self service and all that, even with it’s nice little pat of Cumberland butter, it was never going be rated as a topscone. Maybe a top motorway services scone but since we are very seldom on motorways that is not one of our categories. It’s a long time since we were last here and somehow it didn’t seem as good as we remembered but that might just be our memories playing tricks. This was a southbound scone, we may do a northbound one on the way home? Or maybe not. After an hour or so we felt suitably refreshed and ready to take on the next 350 miles. We’re sure our Australian correspondents would not bat an eyelid at such a journey but it seems like a long way to us.
Voting for anyone but the Tories
Over the past few days there’s been local council elections held over the whole of the UK. Although not all results are in, it seems that the Conservatives have taken a bit of a drubbing … surprise, surprise! They now seem to be trying to portray Boris as a great wartime leader. Are we at war … news to us! Labour and the Lib Dems are saying that the political tectonic plates have shifted without realising that folk simply could not bring themselves to vote for scandal ridden Conservatives.
Scotland continues to see the SNP still riding high after fifteen years in power. Scotland uses the STV (single transferrable vote) system otherwise known as the “vote ’till you boak” system. You order the candidates in order of preference until you cannot vote without feeling sick. But perhaps the biggest change is being seen in N. Ireland where Sinn Féin has become the largest party at Stormont. Could this herald the ‘anomaly’ that is N. Ireland being solved democratically without resorting to violence … let’s hope!
On the road again, wind in our hair, Born to be Wild by Steppenwolf on the radio … this is the life!
Okay we haven’t posted for a while so this one may contain a slightly bigger rant than normal. Let’s face it we are hardly short of things to rant about.
When we named this post Deanston Distillery we had forgotten that we had reviewed the tearoom before. It’s called the Coffee Bothy but that was six years ago so it’s about time we checked it out again. Last time we were here we were able to watch sandpipers on the banks of the river Teith which runs by the distillery. None this time but we did see some grey wagtails and they are always nice to see as well.
Perfect circles
Five shilling note in Deanston money.
Previously we told you that the workers, when it was a cotton mill, were paid in ‘Deanston money.’ This ‘money’ could be exchanged for goods in the village shop which was owned by … you guessed it, the mill owner. A perfect monetary circle. In our previous post we also explained that the distillery was originally a flax mill, then a cotton mill before eventually being transformed into a distillery in 1965. It’s owned by the South African based Distell Group that also owns Bunnahabbhain distillery and Tobermory distillery … hallowed names in the whisky world.
Burke and Hare
What on earth could that notorious pair, who murdered lots of people and sold their bodies to medical science, have to do with this sleepy little village? Well, not a lot directly, however, Burke’s wife Helen had to adopt an itinerant way of life after her husband was hanged in Edinburgh before a crowd of 20,000 in 1829. She was acquitted but in the eyes of the people she was guilty by association. Described as “An Unfortunate Female of the Degraded Class” she was unable to settle because when folk discovered her identity there would be angry riots and attempts on her life.
Eventually she took up with a spinner at Deanston cotton mill but had only been there three days before she was discovered. A band of women strangled and crushed her to death in a most barbarous way. Luckily, times have changed, our welcome at the Coffee Bothy was very warm and friendly.
Taken aback
Anyway, enough of murders and dastardly deeds. After some lunch we asked for a fruit scone to share. At the Coffee Bothy, the scones always come in pairs making sharing very easy. When we asked the young girl who was looking after us if she had made the scones she simply replied “Yes”. We were taken aback. Normally that question is greeted with giggles but followed by the information on who did actually make them. It’s a useful way of finding out if they are made in-house or bought-in.
They were nicely presented and the size of each scone was perfect for us to have one each. We weren’t too sure about the cream, it could have been scooshie but it had quite good consistency so we weren’t sure. The scones themselves were really nice but unfortunately just fell short of our top award. Hats off to all young girls making scones though!
Has the world gone nuts
… or is it just us? In our previous post from the Coffee Bothy we compared the UK economy to the “Angel’s Share”.
talented wildlife in Doune
That’s a term used to describe the gradual evaporation that takes place over many years from whisky barrels. Eventually there is nothing left in the barrel bu, a few angels have become very happy in the process, analogous to our economy under a Tory government. Some make millions while others have to rely on food banks. After the debacle over Rishi Sunak’s wife’s non-dom status that would have saved her over £4.4 million in tax. Poor dear we wonder if she even had to work for half a day to earn that sort of money. Now, however, other cabinet ministers are refusing to disclose their tax status. In Norway tax returns are a matter of public record. Goodness, can you ever imagine that happening here?
World beaters
Boris Johnson and Priti Patel have hatched a ‘world beating’ to send, at vast expense, refugees that land in the UK to Rwanda, one of the poorest countries in the world. There they can be processed before the people traffickers transport them back to the UK in tiny rubber boats. What kind of twisted mind comes up with that as a solution to anything? Are we going to do that for Ukrainian refugees as well?
Russian TV gets a lot of criticism because it simply does the government’s bidding. The BBC might be going exactly the same way. When discussing all the many reasons for the UK’s economic predicament, one of the most obvious reasons is never ever mentioned …. Brexit. It’s as though it has been totally expunged for the BBC vocabulary. It’s almost as if it never happened?
Okay, it might be us that’s nuts! But we have to say that there is something strangely comforting about eating scones surrounded by vast quantities of whisky. Not sure what it is but we do recommend it.
Deanston House which used to be the home of the mill owner
PS: lo and behold our ever vigilant Trossachs correspondents have sprung back into life with news from the Pier tearoom in Stronachlachar. We know it well and there can’t be many more scenic places to have a scone than here. We haven’t been for a long time so it was great to hear that their standards had not slipped.
Hot cross scones?
And that’s not all. One of our Kiwi correspondents has sent news of a hot cross scone in Mapua, Tasman at the northern end of the South Island. It’s a new one on us! He got it at a streetside stall with an honesty box. We love honesty boxes but unfortunately our correspondent reports that “it was average and a bit on the heavy side and the cross part tasted leathery like an old boot lace“. Oh dear, thank goodness they’re in New Zealand and not here.
Okay, this is a weird one in several ways – weird scone, weird circumstance … just weird! The other day we were visiting Doune and on the way we popped into the Smiddy to get some stuff in the farm shop. Short on time, we didn’t bother with the café and anyway we had reviewed their scones previously. When I asked Pat when she thought that was she thought that it must have been last year sometime.
The Smiddy
No, it was 2016 when we last reviewed a scone at the Smiddy … unbelievable how time passes when you are enjoying yourself! Anyway, as we approached the checkout we spotted this packet (title picture) of banana and chocolate scones. What? As ever, of course, we are willing to risk life and limb in order to further our reader’s sconological knowledge, so into the basket they went.
Pre packed
Scones in packets are usually to be avoided. We don’t think of ourselves as scone snobs but, having said that, there are limits. However, we hadn’t ever come across this particular combination of ingredients before so obviously, they could not be allowed to escape our customary rigorous testing. It would have to be done at home, however, hence the “Not the Smiddy” title.
The big test took place the following day while watching the tragic events unfold in Ukraine. Pat whipped up some cream and served them with some of her own plum jam. Dilemma, what do you serve with chocolate and banana scones? They looked deceptively like fruit scones but what appeared to be fruit was in fact chocolate chips. We like a bit of crunch to our scones but these ones were very soft all over but not unpleasant. We won’t be rushing back to buy more but overall they were surprisingly nice. All we can suggest is that, if you ever come across chocolate and banana scones yourselves, don’t be frightened! And the plum jam went fine!
The government
Today the government announced a new approach to the UK’s energy problems. North Sea oil is going to be fully developed to alleviate the economic crisis. Could this be the same North Sea oil that, according to the same government in the 2014 Scottish Independence Referendum was at an end, only a dribble left? They’ve also hiked up National Insurance contributions for all employers and employees to help pay for the NHS. Could this be the same NHS that was supposed to benefit to the tune of £350 million per week as a result of Brexit? At the same time Rishi Sunak’s wife has registered for non-dom status to escape taxes.
The plight of the people in Ukraine is heart rending. We’ve volunteered to take refugees but due to the government’s opaque immigration system our chances of getting any are slim to say the least. Could it be that our UK government is devious, dishonest, sleazy, self-serving and incompetent? Perish the thought! Remember, these days everything is Putin’s fault! However, he’ll be relieved to hear that we’re not blaming him for banana and chocolate scones.
Here we are in Glasgow, the bestest city in the whole wide world … Pat told me that! We are looking for something that’s hidden. Why? It’s like an itch, you’ve got to scratch it. If you are told something is hidden you feel an overpowering urge to find it. So it was with the Hidden Lane Tearoom.
Looking down the Hidden Lane from Argyle Street
Argyle Street is more than two miles long and one of Glasgow’s main shopping streets. There is so much going on you could easily walk past this little lane and not even notice it. Even if you did, you might not feel particularly inclined to go down … it’s not immediately obvious that it leads to anything. It’s proper name is Argyle Court but not a lot of people know that. You would just get a blank look if you asked for it by anything other than ‘the hidden lane.’ When you reach the end of the lane, however, it suddenly opens up into a large courtyard with a veritable cornucopia of tiny little shops and eateries. It’s quite a big area but this narrow lane is the only way in or out. Who would have thought?
Exciting
Even then, the tearoom was not immediately obvious but then we spotted it tucked away in a corner. It has become a central focus amongst the brightly coloured higgledy piggledy studios which act as home to lots of musicians and other creatives. We were excited to find the Hidden Lane but we were doubly excited to try the tearoom. Apparently it’s renowned for its luxury afternoon tea, its classic Victoria sponge and its secret recipe scones. What’s not to get excited about?
The tearoom has a cosy chintzy feel about and combined with the cheery service it’s the sort of place where you immediately feel comfortable. They have an upstairs as well so it’s not as small as you might think. Of course, our primary concern was the scones. Pat went for fruit and I opted for their ‘special scone of the day,’ raspberry and white chocolate.
Double awards
I tried to get a picture of both scones together but for some reason it didn’t work. Damn, just when I thought I was getting the hang of this photography lark! Anyway we shared the scones so that we could sample both. Unsurprisingly perhaps, we thought they were both excellent. Served with little glass pots of jam and cream and a sprinkling of crunchy sugar on top. We gave Pat’s a topscone and mine a top weird scone … well done the Hidden Lane Tearoom.
Who would have thought that, more than a month on, the war in Ukraine would still be going on. And in the David and Goliath struggle, David seems to at least be holding his own against the vastly superior might of the Russian army. There was a message on the wall of the Hidden Lane Tearoom. It did make us wonder what would have happened if Mad Vlad had gone for tea first.
The football World Cup is scheduled to take place in Qatar at the end of the year. Wouldn’t it be fantastic if Ukraine qualified! However, there’s a fly in the ointment … Scotland. The only thing standing between Ukraine and qualifying for the World Cup is Scotland. They have to play to decide which country goes through. Oh no, what a dilemma!
Russia and it’s people are not exactly flavour of the month these days but, of course, that’s very unfair. Russians are just like the rest of us. They are not all evil despots like Putin, just like we in the UK, are not all bumbling idiots. Anyway, in a miniscule way, this post will try and redress the problem even though we may get accused of being diverted away from the main purpose of this blog.
It’s all about a new enterprise in Falkirk called Tattie Bogle’s. It’s a healthy eating place that tries to minimise packaging and it’s owned by a husband and wife team. She is Scottish and he’s Russian … lovely folk and passionate about what they do.
Scary stories
Some of you who are not so familiar with Scottish terminology may be wondering about the name Tattie Bogle’s. A tattie is a potato here in Scotland as in tattie scone, mince and tatties etc etc. Bogle refers to something scary, as in bogeyman. When you put the two together you end up with a human like form standing amongst crops to scare off unwanted visitors … a scarecrow! Loving parents all over Scotland would tell their children elaborate stories about tattie bogles to scare them half to death.
So Tattie Bogle’s is not a cafe or restaurant, it’s a kind of old-fashioned organic ethical grocers selling, amongst lots of other things, locally sourced fresh fruit and veg. You take along your own containers to cut down on packaging. We are definitely in favour of that … packaging seems to be a modern day curse. They even get their organic milk from Robert Burns’s Mossgiel Farm in Ayrshire. Having said it’s not a cafe it does have a couple of tiny tables where you can sit and have coffee. It was a fabulous sunny day so we thought we would see if they had any scones (we do try to stay on message).
Freshly baked Bavarian croissants, empire biscuits and snowballs
No, no scones but they did have some other delicious looking baking. This is where we got diverted … no scones were harmed in this post. We ended up getting a Bavarian chocolate croissant to share. When we asked for a knife, however, we were told “no knives“. Gosh they really are serious about this no wastage thingy. No matter, Pat ripped it in half with her bare hands. It was delicious and if we were dishing out top-croissant awards this would definitely have qualified.
Brute strength
It was very pleasant sitting there in the sunshine so we decided to prolong our stay with an empire biscuit. Not even a plate this time, just a brown paper bag. Again, Pat just grabbed it and broke it in half. She can be absolutely ruthless when she wants. Having said that, I got the half with the cherry. don’t mistake this for altruism or generosity … she doesn’t like cherries!
Tattie Bogle’s sources its produce with consideration for people, animals and the environment We found its simple ‘back to basics ethos when it comes to health quite refreshing. Let’s have more more Scots/Russian collaborations, more power to their collective elbow!
We would, however, like less power for Putin’s elbow You could say that he’s a bit of a tattie bogle, he has managed to successfully keep the West at bay after all. From his point of view nuclear weapons are actually a very successful deterrent. They’ve certainly paralysed the West militarily and allowed him to do pretty much as he pleases.
All good things must come to an end … why oh why does that have to be true? But they do and after a wonderful few days here in Newcastle, we are heading for home. We arrived back in the city centre having been pampered for a few days in Jesmond Dene House. Our train wasn’t due for another hour so time to squeeze in another scone maybe? We ended up here at the Royal Station Hotel but it wasn’t our first choice.
Sound advice
You know how lots of pubs are called “something and something” e.g. the Hare and Hounds, the Rose and Crown etc etc. Well we were aware of a place called the Dog and Scone which was not far from the station. We ended up getting a bit lost, however, and had to ask a chap manning a fruitstall. “Dog and Scone“, he said, shaking his head “nae man, never heard of it“. He consulted with a couple of colleagues and that resulted in a kind of mass synchronised head shaking. We told him the street name “ wey aye man, that’s just doon there and alang yon lane on the right but ye don’t want to be gaein’ there man, it’s rubbish!There’s dogs everywhere on the floor on the tables, ye really don’t want to be gaein’ there, ye definitely won’t like it, there’ll be hairs in the scones!“
Limits
That’s the second ‘rubbish’ thing we’ve been told about in Newcastle. The first ‘rubbish’ thing was the Metro which turned out to be great so we thought we should still go and investigate. The friendly fruit man was spot on! We looked in the window of the Dog and Scone and true enough, there were people lying on the floor with their dogs, people sitting with dogs on their tables, dogs everywhere. Presumably they had scones but we decided there was limits to our dedication after all. We don’t even know if we would have been allowed in without a dog! We moved on and the next place we came to was the Royal Station Hotel. It’s a huge Victorian pile that forms part of the station.
No dogs here but not much joy either. There were signs for afternoon tea all over the place but they said they didn’t do scones, eh? When we asked how they did an afternoon tea without doing scones our waiter looked at us quizzically “ well I suppose I could ask the kitchen for a scone“, he said. The temptation to give a round of applause was almost overwhelming.
Is this cream?
They probably thought we had a bit of a nerve because we only wanted one scone to share. To give them their due they did come quite smartly with our order. It was all quite acceptable except the cream which was just a bowl of runny stuff … completely unfit for purpose. No topscone here unfortunately but it did allow us to kill some time in more comfortable surroundings than we would have had at the Dog and Scone.
There were some interesting quotes painted onto the walls; “Whisky is by far the most popular remedy that won’t cure a cold” was one by Jerry Vale. It does make it much more bearable though … I can vouch for that! Sometimes I drink it even if I don’t have a cold.
Judgement?
Another quote by Ukranian philosopher, Dagobert D Runes was perhaps more topical. “Dictators long ago found that it is easier to unite people in common hatred than in common love.” Putin has certainly managed to do that. Now, however, he may be slowly beginning to realise that he has bitten off more than he can chew. Hugely overestimating the capabilities of his own forces and underestimating the bravery and resolve of the Ukrainian people. Hopefully, before long, someone will put him out of his misery.
Soon we were back on our LUMO train and heading back north with very fond memories. Newcastle itself was great but its people were fantastic. Without fail we were welcomed by the Geordies who proved to be unstintingly helpful and friendly. Apologies for our attempts at imitating the accent.
Forgive us if this seems to be turning into “what we did on our holidays” but it’s tricky because this actually is what we did on our holidays, albeit only a few days. In fact it wasn’t our holidays, it was more of a sconological expedition south of the border where few sconeys have gone before. By now you all know the sort of extraordinary sacrifices we make in order to keep you up to date with sconey news. This is no exception. For this post we had to stay here in Jesmond Dene House. We know, we know but we felt duty bound!
A bit of history
The house was built in the Arts and Crafts style in 1871 by Sir Andrew Noble who worked for Lord William Armstrong … the oligarchs of their time. They became fabulously wealthy through shipping and the manufacture of armaments. It was forever thus. It’s been a hotel since 2005 and has a beautiful setting on the edge of the Dene Burn. Celebrities and Royalty have been entertained here … and now us!
When they said our table was ready we did not expect this! Not really but it is the Great Hall
Of course, we were only here for the scones! We had a notion it might be a bit more expensive than our last post from Olivers Bistro Café and we weren’t wrong. We could have sat outside in the spring sunshine but they actually seated us in a cosy little alcove beside a wonderfully warm open fire … fab! Our lovely chatty waiter was from Venice. We know everything about him: his early life; his career, his children, his failed marriage, we could go on!
Two baby two
When you order a scone you actually get two and you can pick from a variety they have on offer. We chose fruit and cheese. They came with little bowls of butter and jam as well as a pot of cream and huge linen napkins. They were wonderfully warm and were absolutely delicious. £10 for two scones and coffee but worth every penny. If ever there was a challenger to our benchmark Fonab Castle’s scone, this was it.
Rivet Catcher
We told our Venetian friend that we are going to try the Metro. He looked shocked and said in his Italian accent “No, it’s rubbish“. He went on to elaborate “I’ve been here six years and I’ve only been on it once … and that was enough!” Of course, he was comparing Newcastle to Rome, London and Paris so we weren’t unduly concerned. Undeterred we set off for a station about ten minutes walk from the hotel. An ‘ALL DAY’ ticket was £5 each. This allowed us to travel anywhere we liked, get off and on as many times as we liked and valid for the whole day. We’re loving it already!
Okay, the trains are a bit on the basic side but they rattle along and we did managed to hit 33 of the 60 stations on the system … yes we counted them! We went to the beach in Tynemouth and then, to finish off, a drink of Rivet Catcher in the Cumberland Arms.
Cumberland Arms in Tynemouth
Romance in not dead
Then, because Pat has always wanted to go on a cruise (not,) we went to North Shields and caught the ferry across the Tyne (the Metro ticket does that as well). Only a seven minute cruise but, in the golden evening light, it was very romantic … honest!
Spirit of the Tyne approaching North Shields with South Shields in the distance
Anyone for billiards
It was well and truly dark when we got back to Jesmond Dene House. We decided to have dinner beside another large open fire in the billiard room. No billiards but presumably there must have been at one time!
Lady Muck in the billiard room
Looking at us with a fearful expression our waiter friend was keen to know if we had gone on the Metro. When we told him what we had done he was super impressed. He had never heard of anyone doing that before! All we can say is that if you want to get a quick feel for the area and the people you could do a lot worse than take a trip on the Metro.
Interesting painting in the Cumberland Arms
Dinner was fabulous by the way … a bit pricey for our Scottish pockets but fabulous.
Hero
Our thoughts are with Marina Ovsyannikova, the lady who protested live on Russian television. From totally unknown to worldwide hero in an instant … wow! We dread to think what will happen to her now but fingers crossed she’s okay?
In the absence of scones we had little choice but to opt for a teacake. A poor substitute but what can you do? As it turned out our teacake was rather good and they had even toasted it for us so we really have a cheek to complain. But it wasn’t a scone!! If you ever find yourself in Warminster, be warned, it is a sconeless place!
