Category Archives: Scones

All of our scone posts

Coll hotel

12 May 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 10 Comments

Imagine staying at Coll Hotel and not having a scone. We never thought to ask because there was nothing to indicate that they did that sort of thing. It wasn’t until Sophie, our hostess with the mostest, heard that earlier we had had a scone at the Island Café that she informed us that a scone at the hotel was no problem whatsoever. Brilliant, only problem was we were leaving in just over an hour to go and catch the ferry back to Oban.

We were commanded to sit at a table where we could look out over the gardens and Loch Eatherna.

Distress

Before that, however, we should tell you about Pat’s sheep experience that she had just outside the hotel. A lamb at the side of the road started to bleat at her as if in distress. By the time I caught up she was quite convinced that it was trying to tell her something. And it was! Eventually, we figured it out when its mother appeared equally distressed, bleating frantically. They ran towards each other but a solid stone wall was separating them. In spite of running up and down they weren’t going far enough to get round the wall. Pat eventually shooed the lamb towards the end of the wall. The reunification was a joy to behold.

Lambs at Arinagour — These two knew where their mother was.

Before you could say Jack Flash we had our scone together with nice little bowls of jam and cream as well as our tea.

A scone at Coll Hotel — View from our scone

The scone was warm and just the way we like them. Everything was perfect. If ever there was a topscone, this was it! The only problem was that we were having to leave all this behind. Sophie, with her wonderful warm smile had looked after us with fabulous carefree ease. Paul, like most islanders was a man of many talents. He would pop up working in the most unexpected places and now he was driving us to the ferry. What a guy!

We thoroughly enjoyed our first venture on the Isle of Coll. Another visit is now beckoning but maybe with a car next time. For those of you who feel that I should treat my wife better and not have her endure these cycling hardships, this is a photograph of her on the Isle of Tiree in 1974 just a year after we got married. See, she loves it!

It’s obvious

On that occasion we got these ancient bikes from old John MacDonald. He had a little cottage at the back of the Scaranish Hotel. Pat’s bike was fine but when I peddled mine nothing happened. John was watching us from his door and could see the problem. He was shouting but with his broad highland accent we couldn’t quite make out what he was saying. Turned out he was shouting “just hit it with stone“. Even when we knew it still didn’t make much sense. He, however, just laid the bike on its side, picked up a fairly large stone and hit the back cog with an almighty wallop … perfect! Why didn’t I think of that.

More distress

Eurovision will be in full swing tonight. This is Australia’s last year in the competition but what will happen if they win. Where will it be held next year. Suffice to say the folks at the Coll Hotel didn’t seem at all worried!

PA78 6SZ tel: 01879 230334 Coll Hotel

///leaves.inclined.rotations

Ordinary, Scones

Island Café

10 May 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

When the “Lord Of The Isles” docked at Arinagour, the capital of the Isle of Coll, the hotel came to meet us. Although it’s less than a mile from the harbour, with our backpacks and general state of decrepitude, the lift was very welcome. Already we had a good feeling that this was going to be a friendly and welcoming place. On the way we passed the Island Café and made a mental note for the following day.

Downtown Arinagour with the Island Cafe to the right of the row of white houses

Because the island is only 12×3 miles we hadn’t brought our car. The hotel had bikes that you could just help yourself to so that was to be our mode of transport. We had forgotten, however, that a day on a strange bike when you haven’t been on one for years can result in some painful experiences. We decided that we would go towards the airport (flights twice a day to the mainland) at the west end of the island. John, the island postman kept passing us in his wee red van. He, of course, was doing deliveries left and right of the main road so we were kind of leap frogging. Everyone waves here as well … even if you are just walking.

After a few miles of fairly gradual but consistent uphill we reached Acha Mill. John was there too! The road from here seemed to descend quite steeply and obviously, since there is only one road, this would mean a lengthy uphill struggle on the return journey. Oh to be young again! And by this time our bums and pretty much everything else were protesting. As we pondered what to do, as if by some miracle, we remembered the Island Cafe.

Heading back for a scone

Persuasion

We deposited our bikes back in the shed behind the hotel and set off for the cafe … stiffly. We had only gone a few yards when we came on a mysterious black shed. You’ll never guess! It turned out to be a distillery. A very enthusiastic gent insisted that we try their full compliment of gins and vodka. It would have been rude not to so by the time we actually reached the Island Café we were already feeling much better.

Inside the cafe was quite busy so we opted to sit outside in the sunshine. Still feeling the effects of our over indulged hotel breakfast we decided a scone to share would be plenty. It was really nicely presented with a little china tray thingy holding the jam and cream. As we sat looking out onto Loch Eatharna thinking how lucky we were John the postman appeared again. Everything was locally made and quite delicious. The scone itself was very close to being a topscone but not quite … shame!

You can tell it any way you like

Apparently, one day, three clergy men, one Church of Scotland, one Free Church and one Catholic priest, were out fishing on Loch Eatherna. The Church of Scotland minister at one point got out of the boat and walked across the water to the shore and brought back some provisions. Before long the Free Church minister did the same. Eventually the Catholic priest thought he should give it a try however he immediately sank to the bottom. His colleagues hauled him back on board but he insisted on trying again, As they hauled him out the second time his saviours turned to each other and said “Do you thing we should show him where the stepping stones are?”

Internal view of the Island Café — the lounge at the Island Café

Speaking of clergy, it turned out that one of the chaps at the next table used to be a preacher on Coll and Tiree. Somewhat oddly he now works in the “fraud squad” for a large accountancy firm and was just back here on holiday. What’s more it turned out that they were both friendly with one of my old staff when I worked for Glasgow University. The previous night we had met someone who was friends with one of my staff when I worked for Edinburgh University. How weird is that? Coll of all places!

They told us that earlier they had ordered langoustine along at the pier and that they would have to collect them later. Just then, Andrew the fisherman, arrived delivering langoustines to the cafe. He told our new friends to stay where they were and he would bring the langoustines to them. A few minutes later Rachel, Andrew’s wife, appeared bearing their dinner for that evening. She was absolutely charming and spent some time explaining all about langoustine. We’re pretty sure you only get this kind of service in the Hebrides.

Perspectives

Even though the cost of living is a bit higher on Coll due to its isolation the population has increased by more than 60% in recent times. We can easily understand why. After a very short time here you have forgotten about all the problems of the world. And time itself just doesn’t seem to matter at all. Also, it seems like we have got to know almost everyone on the island. There goes John again in his wee red van.

Later, just before dinner, I was lying on the bed listening to Pat giving a running commentary on nothing happening. She was at the window with her binoculars. “I think that sparrow has a nest in that bush beside the helipad“. And “you know that wee red boat on the other side of loch …. it’s moved“. And “one of the seals has gone back in the water“. Excitedly “John’s just gone up that road beside the cafe“. Fantastic, could listen to it all night! I would have one of my usual rants but just can’t be bothered … tomorrow?

PA78 6SY tel: 01879 230022 Island Cafe

///dwelled.earplugs.dripped

Ordinary, Scones

Food From Argyll At The Pier

8 May 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

Whoever thought of calling this place Food From Argyll At The Pier should really think again. Okay, it does food from Argyll and it is at the pier here in Oban … but still? Oban always strikes us an odd kind of place. Sometimes we wonder if anyone actually stays here? Everyone seems to be just visiting or in transit going somewhere else. Of course, we are one of them. This is the “Gateway to the Western Isles” and we are here to catch a ferry to the Isle of Coll.

Surprise

We’re early, so with time to kill, a scone seemed like the obvious answer to while away an hour. This cafe is part of the terminal building and from here we could watch for our ferry arriving.

The cafe is a fairly utilitarian but then, you don’t really expect anything else in ferry terminals. Not being particularly hungry we chose two teas and a fruit scone to share. No cream so butter and jam would have to do. Very soon it arrived at our table along with our tea in paper cups. Surprise, surprise, the scone came fully loaded and when we say jam, we mean lots of it. We had to get extra paper cups because a single was too hot to lift.

Not ideal by any means but that’s just the way they do it here. Not the greatest scone we’ve ever had but not the worst either. Didn’t get anywhere near being a topscone. It did kill the time we had to wait, however, and before long we were being called to board the “Lord Of The Isles”. As a varied assortment of humanity shuffled up the gangway we wondered why they are all going to Coll but, of course, they were probably wondering exactly the same about us.

Dancing ships

As we cast off, our “Lord of The Isles” seemed to get involved with a couple of others, the “Coruisk” and the “Isle of Mull” that were just arriving. However, in what seemed like an expert piece of choreography we are soon clear of the congestion and on our way. Two and a half hours and we would be on the Isle of Coll, yeah!

Voyaging

As we set off on our mini voyage we’re thinking of Australia’s entry by Voyager in Eurovision next weekend. After all the song contest may seem relatively sane after the absurdity of the Coronation. Having the tattered remnants of Take That as the headliners at the Coronation Concert last night kind of summed it all up perfectly.

PA34 4DB tel: 01631 563636 Food from Argyll FB

///alarming.snapping.tomato

Ordinary, Scones

The Station Coffee Shop

1 May 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 8 Comments

Okay, we see all your perplexed expressions asking how come we’ve ended up in the the Station Coffee Shop in Aberfoyle when there isn’t even a railway there? And well you might ask, although of all the things featured in this post that might be the least mysterious and the easiest to answer.

The simple answer, of course, is that at one time the Strathendrick and Aberfoyle railway which ran from Glasgow ended here. It was supposed to go on to Crianlarich but, would you believe it, this was as far as the funding would take it. Funding problems are not new! It opened in 1866 and ran until 1951 so although we regularly visit the village we have never known it to have a station. Now the station building has become the Station Coffee Shop.

But that’s not why we are in Aberfoyle! That’s a bit of a mystery as well and the people responsible are our Devon correspondents. We haven’t seen them for four years but they came to visit us in Falkirk on their way to the Scottish Taiko Drumming Festival … in Aberfoyle! One of them actually does taiko back home in Talaton hence the big trek north. Bear in mind that Devon is a cream first place when it comes to scones so it’s hardly surprising that they might be into ancient Japanese drumming as well!

This was Scotlands first ever Taiko festival. An opportunity not to be missed to see Kenny Endo, an American musician and taiko master. When it comes to taiko our ignorance can only be described as complete and profound. Did we want to learn? Mysteriously, we ended up buying tickets for his concert at Killearn Village Hall in the evening.

Taiko stuff

Anyway, it’s customary to start every taiko festival with a scone. Apologies, that’s not true, we are just trying to justify ourselves. There was lots of taiko stuff going on across the road in the Forth Inn but it was all for people wanting tuition. We just wanted a scone hence we are here tucking into a rather handsome fruit scone. To be honest it didn’t look that promising but turned out to be very good. It had a rather strange but not at all unpleasant texture and loads of fruit. The cream came in a jar labeled ‘English’, not advisable perhaps in a week starting with the theft of Scotland’s Stone of Destiny yet again. More of that later.

Never too old to learn!

After a walk round Aberfoyle we headed for dinner to the next village and one our favourite pubs … the Black Bull in Gartmore. The railway used to run through Gartmore as well so there must have been a station here too. No evidence of it today! You may remember that we stayed at the Black Bull when we visited the nearby Devil’s Pulpit.

After a lovely meal it was time to head off to yet another village, Killearn, for the concert. The Village Hall here is a very plush affair and during the day has a lovely cafe called the Kitchen Window. When we got there the hall was packed, presumably with other taiko officianados like ourselves? Unfortunately the stage was far too small to accommodate all the drums so they had to spill over onto the main floor. Pride of place, however, went to a very impressive drum that apparently was made from a single 300 year old tree. It’s called a wadaiko and, rather appropriately, the wooden sticks are known as bachi. See, we do learn!

Once everyone had settled, a hush fell over the hall as Kenny and his troupe of about ten players entered. We had been told it would be loud … it’s loud! Even sitting at the back of the hall you could feel the vibrations through your body. Kenny Endo in action

At first, it seems like a lot of very loud random drum bashing but very quickly you come to realise how disciplined it is. Every ‘bash’ is coordinated with all the other players and once your ear becomes accustomed it is all rather wonderful. A great experience. Many thanks to J&N.

Escape

The last mystery for this post is the coronation. Why? Turns out less than 30% of Scotland are in favour of the monarchy and they are nearly all octogenarians. We were hoping to escape the proceedings on a Hebridean island without any televisions. That plan, however, has become a victim of circumstance so it will be difficult for us, and indeed anyone, to miss the 24hr obsequious coverage.

As Charlie places his fundament on Scotland’s Stone of Destiny people in the street outside who simply utter a single word of criticism will be promptly arrested and, who knows, may never be seen again. We are all supposed to swear an oath of allegiance to Charlie while sitting on our sofas. What planet are his advisers on? The most ridiculous and expensive fancy dress party designed solely to cement the top tier of society in what they regard as their rightful places. Instead of angelic choristers we can only hope that Kenny Endo will be doing the music. At least some of the nonsense being spouted by Archbishops in even weirder hats than Charles, would be drowned out. We’re also being invited to say “God Save The King“. Forgetting of course that, if there was a God, he/she/it would thoroughly disapprove of the entire spectacle.

BREAKING: wonder of wonders, Edward, yes that completely talentless nonentity, is to be the brand spanking new Duke of Edinburgh. Individually they are all nice people but why are we allowed to do this to them? After this post we fully expect a knock on the door!

BREAKING BREAKING: Donald Trump has just landed in Scotland. Goodness, this rant could go on forever!

FK8 3UG tel: 01877 389105 The Station

///prank.belt,buildings

Ordinary, Scones

Kingsbarns Distillery

27 April 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

The point of today was to catch up with our Bathurst correspondents. We haven’t seen then since 2019 but they are over from Australia visiting their daughter and her family in St Andrews. This trusty pair have been responsible for much of our sconological knowledge of New South Wales with posts from Myrtle House, the Blue Wren Bush Cafe, Clancy’s Cafe and many more. Typically, they arrived on bikes for our meeting at Rufflets Hotel in Fife.

The Bathurst correspondents at Rufflets Hotel — Rendezvous with our Bathurst correspondents at Rufflets

It was fantastic to find them in good form and catch up on all their news. After a great chat, all too soon, we had to bid them farewell. We decided to try and find nearby Kingsbarns Distillery.

Crest of the Wymss Family — Crest of Clan Wemyss

This is definitely golf country. Thousands of golfers from all over the world make the pilgrimage to St Andrews, where it all started. It’s just seven miles away from Kingsbarns. It was a former golf caddie, Douglas Clement, who realised that golfers also loved the amber nectar but there was no handy distillery for them to visit. He decided that a disused building in Kingsbarns would be ideal. After a shaky start bogged down in financial woes, the Wemyss family (pronounced Weems), who live nearby in Wemyss Castle, came to the rescue. The distillery eventually opened in 2014. Kingsbarns got its name in 1519 when the barns here supplied the royal palaces at Falkland and Crail.

Good deals

When we arrived it was very busy with German and French tourists but it soon settled down when their buses left. The cafe is light and airy and they had scones – plain, fruit and cheese. You could get a bowl of soup packaged with a cheese scone so we went for that. We were going to share the cheese scone and then share a fruit scone with our tea later.

The lady serving us said she would put it through as two soup/ scones because that would be cheaper for us … how thoughtful! We thoroughly enjoyed everything although they don’t have a kitchen so everything has to be brought in from external bakers Fisher & Donaldson in St Andrews.

Doves and pigeons

Not a topscone but it’s great to see yet another new distillery trying to cater to the seemingly insatiable global demand for Scotch. Biggest market last year was France with India not far behind. Third was the US … come on guys, we thought it was “America first”. We did our bit by buying a bottle of Kingsbarns Doocot whisky as well as a bottle of their Darnley’s gin. A ‘doocot’ (part of a building housing doves and pigeons) forms part of the distillery building.

Kingsbarns Golf clubhouse — the back of the clubhouse on Kingsbarns Golf Links

We had been advised to go and visit Kingsbarns beach. Thinking it was simply a matter of walking towards the sea we inadvertently ended up trudging through Kingsbarns Gold Links. It’s a famous course which has hosted many major tournaments … the helipad was a bit of a giveaway! Goodness, if we had known we wouldn’t have bothered with the car! Golf has been played here since 1793 and the 12th hole is a 606 yard monster. I only played golf as a youth. That was because I was too immature to realise it was a huge waste of time. Mind you, much of my golfing career was spent in the bushes looking for my ball.

We did eventually make it to the beach which stretches as far as the eye can see in both directions. However, the weather today was coming in from Greenland and wasn’t too conducive to building sand castles.

Contentment

On the way home we paid a visit to Crail which was as quaint as ever.

People in the Kingdom of Fife are an independent lot and quite content with their lot. Once, when a Fife man was asked if he had ever been abroad, responded with “I once knew a man who had been to Crail“. Maybe we should all try to be a bit more content like that man from Fife and not be surprised when other people from Sudan and elsewhere want to see if they can find contentment.

It has been another great day. We are sooo lucky to live in Scotland with all this stuff on our doorstep! The Doocot is lovely, by the way, light with a hint of pepperiness … a good breakfast whisky, cheers!

KY16 8QE. tel: 01333 451300. Kingsbarns Distillery

///bulky.orders.cuddled

Ordinary, Scones

The Pier Cafe (revisited)

23 April 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 6 Comments

The Pier Cafe in Stronachlacher is one our Trossachs correspondents favourite haunts and the last time we were here we were with them. Not today, though, they are sunning themselves in Spain. However, diligent, as ever, they have just sent a report from the Lemon Tree in Mijas which they last reviewed in 2019.

The Lemon Tree, Mijas — The Lemon Tree Cafe, Andalusia

In their own words “Greetings from Mijas. The Lemon Tree is still here maintaining a good standard with Scones,Jam and Clotted Cream. As on previous trips this is so far the only source for scones that we have discovered in Andalucia. The search continues“. Now that’s dedication … all that way just to check a scone!

External view of the Pier Cafe, Stronachlacher — Looking over to Factor’s Island with the trees. Rob Roy MacGregor imprisoned the Duke of Montrose’s factor here when the Duke confiscated the MacGregor lands as punishment for not supporting the Act of Union in 1707

Meanwhile, Stronachlacher is also basking in sunshine though probably not as warm as Mijas. The Pier Café is sometimes described as Scotlands most picturesque cafe and it’s easy to see why. The views over Loch Katrine are superb. To get here requires an eleven mile drive over a single track dead end road. The road ends at Stronachlacher. You pass Loch Ard, Loch Chon and Loch Arklet on the way so it isn’t any kind of hardship on a day like today. You can, however, get here by bicycle or take one of the cruise boats from the other end of the loch.

Small world

We were here with one of our neighbours who thoroughly enjoyed the drive and, of course, we were all looking forward to some lunch. The cafe has always been great but it is now under new management so it was going to interesting. No worries it was all delicious. The fruit scones we had to finish were delicious as well. They had been warmed and came with raspberry jam and little cubes of butter. No cream, so not quite a topscone but a very good effort. We were served by a super friendly lady from Kinlochard who actually knew our Trossachs correspondents. We didn’t dare tell her they were eating someone else’s scones in Spain.

As we were about to leave we could see the Lady of the Lake approaching the pier. Myself and our neighbour had positioned ourselves near the railings to watch proceedings when a freak wave came over and soaked us both. We were both absolutely drenched! A situation, which wasn’t helped in the slightest by the hysterical laughter coming from Pat and everyone else watching.

Judgement

You know how sometimes you just can’t take to someone. You don’t really know them but for some reason, which you can’t quite put a finger on, you just don’t like them. For us, Dominic Raab, the former deputy Prime Minister, was one such person. Why Rishi Sunak appointed him in the first place is beyond comprehension. Now he has resigned following a report into his unacceptable behaviour towards his staff and others. Typically, perhaps, he hasn’t gone gracefully. It must be galling for these guys, however, when the seat at your desk isn’t even cold before someone else is sitting in it. Disposable politicians!

R.I.P

And we have just heard that Sir Les Patterson has died. Now there was a diplomat if ever there was one! We can only imagine what he would have had to say about people, like Dominic Raab who take themselves so seriously.

FK8 3TY tel: 01877 386374 Pier Cafe

///greyhound/files.odds

ps: Just as we were congratulating our Trossachs correspondents on their dedication we received a note from our Texas correspondents in Corpus Christi. They said “A top scone, known here in Texas as a biscuit, butter from Kansas and jam from Ohio!”. Honestly, what is wrong with Americans? They can’t call things by their proper names, they can’t spell things correctly, they can’t drive on the correct side of the road, we could go on. 😀Hopefully some American readers will get in touch to tell us what is wrong with them!

Scones

Pleased To Meet You

20 April 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 9 Comments

Today we are super pleased to be in Pleased To Meet You. No idea why it has that name but it’s a cafe/restaurant in Morpeth, Northumberland. It’s our first visit to the town though we’ve actually been here many times before but that was just passing through on the train going to London. We’ve never got off the train here. The Sunday Times says it is one of the best places to live in the UK so we thought we should investigate. Morpeth was our destination for today.

Department stores

Turns out the Sunday Times may well be right. We were very pleasantly surprised. The town dates back to the 12th century and has managed to retain its traditional market-town charm combined with some classy streets. It even boasts a couple of department stores, a thing of the past in our home town. The Sanderson Arcade even has an M&S store … Pat was impressed and maybe a little jealous.

Aberdeen Angus bull sculpture, Morpeth — This magnificent actual size beast is an Aberdeen Angus bull. It commorates times when they would be brought from Scotland to be sold in Morpeth.

Negotiating with Westminster

In the local park there is a statue to suffragette, Emily Davison. She was quite a lady: arrested nine times; force fed when she went on hunger strike; locked herself in a prison cell only to be flooded out by a hosepipe wielding magistrate; attacked a church minister she mistook for Lloyd George. She died after throwing herself in front of the King’s horse in the 1913 Derby. All this just to get a vote. She won eventually but her story does indicate what it still takes to negotiate with the turgid Westminster governments to this day.

Anyway after some delightful sunny hours wandering the sights of Morpeth it was scone time. There were numerous options but we had had a recommendation for Pleased To Meet You. It’s in a historic 17th century building which used to be the Queens Head Hotel. Pleased To Meet You, or PTMY, has adapted it and stripped it back to its original structure. It is vast. Take a ball of string if you want to find your way back from the toilets.

Galloping girls

We managed to get a little table at a window so we could see what was happening outside on the street. It’s great to people watch when you are in a new place. At one point, through all the traffic, a young girl galloped past at high speed on a horse smoking a cigarette. Wow, no elegant trotting in this neck of the woods, it’s a full blown gallop or nothing! Nobody batted an eyelid so presumably it’s an everyday occurrence. By the way, it was the girl smoking the cigarette, not the horse!

Eventually we were distracted by the arrival of our fruit scone. We could have opted for one of their fully loaded scones which actually looked quite good but we decided to be purists and do it for ourselves.

It was wonderfully warm and had a super crunchy exterior and a soft interior with lots of lovely fruit. Plentiful jam and cream as well as delicious coffee and friendly service. What was not to like? Nothing! An easy topscone. We liked everything about PTMY, it seemed to have everything. The staff must walk miles each day but they were unstintingly helpful and friendly.

Blow me down

When we left we walked a short way down the street and came on the Morpeth Chantry Bagpipe Museum … what?

Painting of French bagpipes — President of the Provence Parliament playing the musette … bit overdressed but looks like a lovely chap

What’s that doing here in the North of England? Although normally associated with Scotland there are lots of different kinds af bagpipe and Northumberland has it’s very own pipes. Totally different from the Scottish variety which at one time were outlawed by the English as a weapon of war. Just being found in possession of bagpipes was a penal offence. The Northumberland pipes, like the Irish pipes have a much softer sound and as far as we know have never been outlawed. The museum was very well set up and definitely worth a visit even if you have no particular interest in bagpipes.

Self raising

Most readers will have heard of Be-Ro self raising flour. But did you know that the inventor, Thomas Bell, lived and worked in Morpeth. He called his invention Bell’s Royal flour, or Be-Ro for short. The things you learn on allaboutthescones.com!

Competitions

When we travelled down to Morpeth we met a chap who joined us at Berwick-on-Tweed. He was super excited to be going to Leeds to support his team playing against Liverpool. The score line ended up Leeds 1 Liverpool 6. Oh dear, hope he is okay! It can’t be any worse than the coverage we are being subjected to of all things Monarchy. First we have to watch Charles and his floozie being fitted with new hats followed, a few days later, by the Eurovision Song Contest. Impossible to decide which is the most surreal and ridiculous.

Black Bull Pub, Morpeth — For a moment in Morpeth we weren’t sure where we were … then we were! It was the Black Bull!

Morpeth gave us a great day out and it looked like there were plenty more scones to be explored so, who knows, we might be back!

NE61 1NB tel: 01670 333970 PTMY

///casually.hockey.subsystem

Scones, topweird

Greens at the Courthouse

16 April 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

Although this post comes from Greens at the Courthouse in Dornoch our target destination for today was the little village of Embo in Sutherland and yet another beach.

The beach at Embo — Part of the beach at Embo

In 1245 the Battle of Embo took place here between the Scots and the Vikings. Honestly, if you have to have a battle this is a great place to have one … there must have been a lot of kicking sand in faces. And in 1988, without a drop of blood being shed, Embo declared itself independent from the rest of the UK. They even issued their own currency, the Cuddie (two Cuddies to the Pound). Okay it was only for one day and it was to raise funds to create a community centre. Scotland could learn a thing or two from Embo but, of course, our currency is destined to be the smackeroonie!

Sconeless Granny?

Embo is where Grannie’s Heilan’ Hame is and if ever there was a place guaranteed to provide a good scone this has to be it … surely? The granny in question was Kate Mackay who, in 1952, went to live in Boston USA. The well known song reflects on visits to her Embo home. To hear a rousing version click here.

Where the heather bells are blooming, just outside Grannie’s door,
Where as laddies there we played, in days of long ago.
‘Neath the shadow of Ben Braggie and Golspie’s lordly stane.
How I wish that I could see my Grannie’s Hielan’ Hame.

Grannie's Heilan' Hame in Embo — Grannie’s Heilan’ Hame is now much extended at the centre of a huge caravan park

When we went to the restaurant to ask if they had any scones or cakes we were informed “No the closest we would have to scones or cakes is toast“… what? Don’t think granny would have been too happy about that. Crest fallen we retreated a mile down the beach to Dornoch and Greens at the Courthouse.

A pirate ship in Embo — Before leaving Embo we managed to board a pirate ship … mega exciting!

The milkman

We were here in 2017 when it was called the Carnegie Courthouse. Apparently the combined problems of Brexit and COVID were too much for the previous owners. Since earlier this year it is under new management. Still looks pretty much the same with its large painting on the back wall of the courthouse in action. Madonna had her son, Rocco, christened directly across the street in Dornoch Cathedral and then got married to Guy Ritchie the following day in nearby Skibo Castle. They are both featured as well as a host of other celebrities including the local milkman.

If you remember, our previous scone was at the Rosemarkie Beach Cafe and it was white chocolate and cranberry. Here it was white chocolate and cherry. Is there a white chocolate theme going on up here in the Highlands?

Premierships measured in scones

We’ve actually had a few other Dornoch scones at Gordon House and Dornoch Castle but back, when we were last here in late 2017, we were contemplating how many more scones we could write before Theresa May’s eventual demise. She was definitely on a shaky peg at that time but nevertheless she lasted longer than expected largely because there was no one of any merit to follow her. Boris Johnson amply proved that point by following her! Likewise he lasted longer than expected because there still wasn’t anyone of merit in the Tory party but eventually he became too much an embarrassment even for them. He was followed by Liz Truss and we only managed to write one scone before she was out on her ear after a couple of weeks. She will always be remembered as the proud owner of that record … One Scone Liz.

Our scone fell into the weird scone category but was really good. Even Pat, definitely sceptical at first, ended up heaping praise on it. She wouldn’t normally contemplate anything to do with cherries. I always have to eat the cherry on top of her empire biscuits. That’s fairly typical of the hardships we endure together. A topweird scone was eventually awarded … well done Greens at the Courthouse.

We paid for our scone contactless but can’t wait to pay for them in smackeroonies!

IV25 3SD tel: 01862 811241 Greens at the Courthouse

///slacker.estuaries.flipping

Scones, weird

Rosemarkie Beach Cafe

14 April 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 13 Comments

Readers could be forgiven for thinking that our life is just one long care-free jollification because that’s not too far away from the truth. First we were meeting friends in Shetland, then wined and dined by old friends at Cairn Lodge. Now we are relaxing for a few days with our family near Inverness. Mind you ‘relaxing’ is really nothing more than a somewhat forlorn ambition when you have six granddaughters to contend with. Five of them are with us today and they seem to have boundless energy. A beach seemed like a good bet if we were to have any hope of tiring them out. Hence this post comes from the Rosemarkie Beach Cafe on the Black Isle.

Rosemarkie beach — View from the Rosemarkie Beach Cafe and an intrepid grandchild off for a swim

Things are just a little different in this part of the world. The Black Isle isn’t an island and it’s not black. It’s a peninsula sandwiched between the Cromarty Firth and the Beauly Firth. We think the ‘black’ derives from its rich dark soil. For such a beautiful part of the country it’s difficult to believe that it was an important player in the North Sea oil industry. Many of the oil rigs were built here in the 60s and 70s and now some of them lie redundant in these sheltered firths having served their purpose as we all try to go ‘green’.

With the grandchildren on the beach or swimming in the sea there was nothing left for us to do but have a scone. The speciality of the house was white chocolate and cranberry so we thought we had better try one. We sat on the terrace area where we could keep an eye on the children … we’re not totally irresponsible! Jam didn’t seem appropriate for such an exotic scone so we just had butter. In spite of looking a bit on the insipid side it was surprisingly nice. We could taste a hint of chocolate and the cranberries made it deliciously moist. Not a topscone but definitely a bit of a weird one.

Nobody at home?

Beach at Rosemarkie Beach Cafe — Dolphin spotters

Later we walked along the beach to a spot where the kids could watch for dolphins with their binoculars. Great excitement when some suddenly appeared following a boat out in the bay. It’s a popular area for dolphin spotting but even at that, they were really lucky to see them. If that wasn’t exciting enough we then took on an even harder task … looking for fairies! The Fairy Glen lies just behind the cafe and was a delightful walk. We didn’t actually see any fairies but there was plenty of evidence. They weren’t faraway though because one little house had a couple of deck chairs outside where they had obviously been sunbathing earlier. Apparently there’s some doubt about whether it is good to actually see fairies and, of course, you have to respect their privacy. Dolphins would have to do for today.

What planet?

Shells in the form of the Himalayas — Grandchildren’s representation of the Himalayas at the seaside

Meanwhile, away from Rosemarkie and fairies it has just been revealed that the UK’s £200m plan to export all refugees to Rwanda has had zero effect. The number of people crossing the Channel from France in rubber dingys is exactly the same as last year … surprise, surprise! Meanwhile the entire population of France seems to be rioting because the pension age has been raised from 62 to 64. What planet are they living on? Joe Biden has completed a 17 hour visit to N. Ireland most of which he spent asleep. Then he went to the Republic and ‘home’ to Co Mayo. Why do all American presidents have to come from Ireland. Is it a pre-condition? Even Obama was from Co. Offaly?

In the UK the doctors are on strike and now the the civil service is to go on strike as well. Think we’ll just stay here in the Fairy Glen.

IV10 8UW tel: 07923 402647 Rosemarkie Beach

///blown.response.loafing

Scones, Top

Cairn Lodge

3 April 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 7 Comments

Shetland seems like a distant but very fond memory now. We will always remember the friendliness of the people there. These days there’s a tendency for people to be a bit self-absorbed so it was great to see a healthy spirit of community on these islands. Anyway, now it’s back to reality. Although we would have a cheek to call Cairn Lodge in Auchterader, reality!

If it is reality then we are having a very soft landing. Today we were invited for breakfast by friends which was fabulous. And now we are at Cairn Lodge because other friends have invited us for afternoon tea. How lucky are we?

One of our aunts really liked Cairn Lodge so we used to come here years ago. Since then it has been taken over by Aurora Hotels and they have completely revamped it to become a luxury destination. Probably just as well because its next door neighbour is the well known haunt of the rich and famous, Gleneagles Hotel.

Friends to the rescue

It might be an age related thing but ‘time’ seems to play tricks on us these days. Huge amounts of it seem to simply disappear. We haven’t seen these friends since they rescued us from a car crash near their home … and that was over six years ago! Incredible! Ironically, the car that crashed into us was racing to try and catch the ferry from Aberdeen to Shetland. Nobody seriously hurt but our car was completely wrecked. Our friends, however, galloped to the rescue. They fed and watered us then insisted on delivering us to our destination many miles away in Pitlochry. Much water has flowed under the bridge since then so there was a mega amount of stuff to catch up on!

The young lady looking after us was superb and within two shakes of a lamb’s tail she was filling our glasses with bubbles and presenting us with an absolutely delicious artichoke based amuse-bouche. Then came a three tier stack of afternoon tea. Two of them between the four of us as well as a separate plate of sandwiches. Sometimes we think that afternoon teas are misjudged in that there is often too much of everything. We thought this one was judged perfectly. Separate little pots of jam and clotted cream completed the presentation. It probably goes without saying that everything was delicious and the scones were no exception. There was a plain scone and a whisky soaked fruit scone for each of us.

Harmony

Thinking about it now, it seems unbelievable that, in Scotland, this is the first whisky soaked scone we’ve ever come across. Lovely and warm, nice and crunchy on the outside and a delicate soft interior with that ever so subtle hint of the amber nectar. Two of our favourite things brought together in perfect harmony! So good they almost made our ‘totallyeffinbrilliantscone’ category!

Not so brilliant perhaps was Scotland’s new First Minister, Humza Yousaf’s first week in his new job. Many have expressed disappointment but we feel he needs to be given a chance. He has a mountain to climb! Isn’t it peculiar that all political parties recognise Scotland as a nation yet refuse to give us permission to determine our own future. What sort of logic is that? It’s also a bit odd that we now have Humza Yousaf, a practicing Muslim of Pakistani extraction and Rishi Sunak, a practicing Hindu of Indian extraction fighting over Scottish independence. You couldn’t make it up!

Today has been fantastic and it is all down to our wonderful friends. With friends like ours and whisky soaked scones, what more could we possibly ask for?

PH3 1LX tel: +44 1764 661095 Cairn Lodge Hotel

///tonsils.plan.calibrate

Distress

It’s obvious

More distress

Persuasion

You can tell it any way you like

Perspectives

Surprise

Dancing ships

Voyaging

Taiko stuff

Never too old to learn!

Escape

Good deals

Doves and pigeons

Contentment

Small world

Judgement

R.I.P

Department stores

Negotiating with Westminster

Galloping girls

Blow me down

Self raising

Competitions

Sconeless Granny?

The milkman

Premierships measured in scones

Nobody at home?

What planet?

Friends to the rescue

Harmony

by Bill and Pat Paterson and is about finding good scones throughout the world, with a little bit of politics