Category Archives: Ordinary

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Edenmill Café

5 March 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 16 Comments

Our short break at the Black Bull in Gartmore has come to an end. It’s been a lot of fun but today we have to head for home … boo! We decided, however to return by a different route and that’s how we came to end up at the Edenmill Café. What took us in the direction of Edenmill was a search for the Devil’s Pulpit. No one quite knew why we had heard of the Devil’s Pulpit except for a vague recollection that it featured in Outlander. It wasn’t easy to find!

Believable?

We should have known we were in the right area, however, because the landscape round here is dominated by the Whangie, a strange rock formation where, many years ago, we used to go for practice rock climbs if we could’t make it as far as Glencoe. Apparently the weird cleft in the rock was formed by Satan’s tail when he rushed round the mountain, late for a witch’s coven. Okay, okay, but let’s face it, if you believe Westminster’s story about Brexit being a wonderful success, you might as well believe this one too! In fact, it’s a lot more believable!

Sacrifices

Anyway, there were no direction signs whatsoever for the Devil’s Pulpit. It was almost as if we weren’t supposed to go there! Eventually we parked in a rough area beside some other cars and reckoned they would be trying to find it as well. All we knew was that it is was”over there somewhere.”

Danger of death

We headed off across a field and knew we must be getting close when we came across some sacrificial offerings hung high on a telegraph wire. No idea why so many trainers were strung up there but hopefully their owners hadn’t come to some dark satanic misfortune. Goodness, it was the devil’s own job trying to find this place. After wandering in all sorts of directions we eventually came on a path through a wood that looked promising. The Devil’s Pulpit is actually an extremely narrow 100ft deep gorge in Finnich Glen. There didn’t seem to be any way to access it that didn’t involve certain and immediate death.

Way down to the Devil's Pulpit — Almost vertical slippery Devil’s Steps with only a rope (thick green string) to hang on to

A notice saying “Exploring Finnich Glen – Danger of Death or Serious Injury” didn’t really help! And when we did eventually find the ‘official’ access point, it didn’t look at all inviting. Not called the Devil’s Steps for nothing! We could hear the squeals of the youngsters who were half way down and thought that it might not be the best thing for old arthritic codgers like us. Just think of the humiliation having to be rescued … many have had exactly that experience!

the Devil's Pulpit — it’s kind of magical if you can get down there … and back up!

Alpacas

We asked a teenager emerging back up the steps if there were any scones down there. The response was puzzled but negative so that sealed the deal. Enough adventuring, we were off to the Edenmill Café just a few miles further down the road!

Edenmill is huge and seems to do all sorts of things. There’s a butcher shop, a soft play area and a bunkhouse as well as the café. Pat wanted to go alpaca trekking but, in the end, the lure of the scones proved too much.

We placed our order then went outside to sit in the warm spring sunshine. Still feeling the effects of the Black Bull breakfast it was just some coffee and a fruit scone to share. No cream but it was presented with plenty of pre-packed jam and butter and it had nice crunchy exterior we like. We thoroughly enjoyed it but perhaps the sunshine and that feeling you get having narrowly cheated death was enhancing our experience. Maybe a slight exaggeration! Enjoyable but not quite a topscone! Haven’t had a topscone in ages!

Eventually we had to part company with our Trossachs correspondents and make our way back home. They have been brilliant company and now we feel much better acquainted with this part of the world. Look forward to doing it all again sometime.

G63 9AX tel: 01360 771707 Edenmill

///brains.frosted.loaning

ps: Apparently there is an upcoming £2million pound project to build a large car park, a café, visitor centre and easily accessed viewing platforms at the Devil’s Pulpit. Presumably to cater for all the Outlander fans. We’re happy to have seen it in its raw state.

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

Kitchen Window

2 March 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 5 Comments

Okay, we’re still staying at the Black Bull in Gartmore with our Trossachs correspondents. And, since we are in the Trossachs, we are relying on their local knowledge and expertise to guide us. That’s why you find us here, at the Kitchen Window in Killearn. It’s a beautiful little village, only a ten minute drive from where we are staying. And for some mysterious reason it has completely avoided us in the past. Even stranger, the village lies in the strath (valley) of the River Endrick, Strathendrick and Strathendrick is the name of our house.

landscape of Killearn — View across Strathendrick with Killearn bottom left of centre

The first thing you notice as you drive into the village is an almighty obelisk. Turns out it’s dedicated to the memory of George Buchanan who was born here in 1506.

The Buchanan memorial, Killearn — 30m Buchanan Memorial

George may be the most famous person you have never heard of. Educated here in Killearn and in Paris, according to many he was “the most profound intellectual sixteenth century Scotland produced,” Mary Queen of Scots was once his pupil. A humanist and a poet, he campaigned against monarchy and corruption in the church. He believed that power should lie with the people. This, of course, landed him in all sorts of trouble with the people who actually had the power … and wanted to keep it that way. One of Glasgow’s main shopping streets, Buchanan Street, is named after him. We had always wondered who Buchanan of Buchanan Street was but now we know.

American constitution

Sounds like a guy ahead of his time but if he returned today, five centuries later, he would be surprised to find that there’s still plenty to campaign about. He was held in high regard and his advice on the responsibilities of leaders was sought while drawing up the American constitution. There’s much more we could tell you about George but just a few yards along the street lies the Kitchen Window cafe. Feeling guilty for never having heard of George we felt the least we could do was have a scone in his honour. Pathetic, we know!

Advice to leaders

The building that now houses the village hall used to be the Parish Church, built in 1826. Now it has a large ultra modern, all singing/dancing extension that houses The Kitchen Window cafe. It’s an impressive space and must be an invaluable asset for the community. We noticed the size of the scones so ordered one to share. Nothing pre-packed and foreign here. Unfortunately, they didn’t have cream but our scone came with a lovely pot of jam and a generous slab of butter. What’s not to like? Nothing really, it was all great but again it wasn’t quite a topscone. We feel sure that part of George Buchanan’s advice to leaders would be to experience the civilising influence of scones and afternoon tea as often as possible. The world might be a better place!

Tolls

Being introduced to Killearn, George Buchanan and the Kitchen Window has been a great experience. We’re indebted to our correspondents. And, joy of joys, we are happy to report that we drove through the village for free … yeah! On the opposite side of the street from the Kitchen Window was the old Toll House.

In 1844 it cost sixpence to drive through Killearn in your Barouche or your Diligence … or your Hearse?

View of Killearn — Killearn in the winter sun

G63 9NL tel: 01360 550116 Kitchen Window

///intruding.configure.rocky

Ordinary, Scones

Macmillans Kitchen

28 February 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

Honestly, any connection between this and our previous post from Stirling Bull Sales is purely coincidental. We’re away for a few days to recuperate from the frantic days of retirement. In the depths of the Trossachs and Loch Lomond Country Park there is the little village of Gartmore and the Black Bull Inn where we’re hoping our Trossachs correspondents will join us.

A few years back the community bought the Inn in a bid to keep it open. They have done a great job so we like to support them whenever we can. Before we got to the Black Bull, however, we stopped off at the Benview Garden Centre. The cafe is called Macmillan’s Kitchen.

It was a beautiful day so we spent a wee while going round the plant area but soon it was scone time. The restaurant is a big friendly place with an eclectic mix of stuff for sale. However, having pre-booked dinner at the Black Bull we didn’t want to spoil our appetite. It was just a toasted sandwich and a scone … sharing both.

Stop off

We thoroughly enjoyed the sandwich and then it was on to the scone. No cream but it did come with Danish butter and some absolutely delicious jam. The scone was good as well. Quite big but with lots of fruit, just like a fruit scone should be. All in all MacMillans Kitchen was good but not quite good enough for a topscone award. Unfortunate, but a super place for a stop off. It was only a short distance to the Black Bull, our home for the next few days

Salad days

When we arrived at the Black Bull we were greeted with this notice board advising us to have cocktails rather than a salad.

It’s ironic that nowadays it is almost impossible to make a salad because there’s hardly any of the ingredients in the shops. Where there once was supermarket shelves groaning with tomatoes, lettuce and fruit, now there are mostly empty shelves. Sometimes there are signs informing you that customers are limited to one or two tomatos. All sorts of things are blamed for this. As usual,Putin is the main culprit though just how he managed to steal all our fruit and veg is beyond our comprehension. Sometimes bad weather in Morocco is blamed?

One thing that’s never blamed is Brexit. Never mentioned by the government or the media in spite of there being no similar shortages in the EU. Very odd! Rather than mention the word, Brexit is now referred to as “pre referendum” or “post referendum”. Could it be that the current delicate UK/EU negotiations over the N.Ireland Protocol mean that the word “Brexit” has been outlawed?

“Stories never start with a salad” sounds like an absolute truism. Given we may not even be able to get a salad we will just have to do with cocktails. It’s Putin’s fault! Just as well our Trossachs correspondents have joined us!

G63 0QZ tel: 01360 850222 Macmillans Kitchen FB

///suiting.realm.trustees

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

Dobbies revisited

23 February 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 7 Comments

This is “Dobbie’s revisited” because we first visited Dobbies Garden Centre back in 2017. It was big then but now it’s even bigger. Of course, it’s not so much a garden centre now, more a kind of general store where you can buy almost anything you can imagine. You can even sell your car here! They still sell plants though. Their cafe area seems to have got bigger as well … it’s massive! Last time we thought that their scones were too big, surely they wouldn’t have got bigger as well.

Tempting offer?

Before all that though, you are probably wondering why the title picture is of a bull rather than a garden centre. That’s because we had no intention of coming to Dobbies. I suspect that most male readers would not experience any resistance when they ask their wives if they would like to go to the sales. When I asked Pat that very question, she just looked disbelieving and sceptical. Okay, okay, I eventually had to divulge that I meant the bull sales in Stirling but sales are sales … yes/no? All I can say is that she managed to contain her excitement really well!

Stirling Auction Mart has a vast car park however when we got to the roundabout on the main road that leads to the mart it was blocked by a couple of guys in hi-vis jackets telling us we would have to park elsewhere … the car park was full … argh! No parking on the main road so the nearest alternative was Dobbies and then walk back the quarter of a mile or so.

Guineas

We weren’t in the market for a bull. Especially since we would now have to walk it all the way back to the car. The conduct of the auction is a model of efficiency. Immediately after the ‘sold’ bull leaves the ring another simultaneously enters through a different gate. It is continuous. And, although they are all being sold no one seemed to be bidding. It takes a wee while to get your eye in and spot what is going on. One farmer just bid with a tiny flick of his little finger. All bids are in guineas. Why make it simple? It’s tradition!

Size is everything

There were 132 Simmental bulls being sold in our auction. The name and age in months and days of each animal goes up on a large LED screen. The program has lots of other details like height, weight and scrotal size … a bit personal!

Stirling Bull sales — This big fella went for £30,000

After a while we took a break and went to get a coffee in the cafe. No frills and everything served in farmer sized portions but no scones. I asked a farmer sitting beside us to explain why the age of each bull was so exact. He explained that each animal is given a unique ear tag at birth so everyone knows all about it. I asked if the age was particularly critical since they mostly seemed to be within a year of each other. He said it was important because whereas the younger bulls can manage around twenty females, the older ones can manage about forty. I didn’t know whether to feel impressed or totally inadequate.

No jam or cream

Fully loaded scones at Dobbie's Garden Centre Stirling — we resisted the fully loaded scones

We decide to leave before they started on the Charolais bull sale that followed. Even although the auctioneer assured us that some of the bulls were real bargains we left empty handed and that might be the first sale Pat has been to without buying anything. Of course going back to Dobbies to retrieve the car meant that we had to go in and check out their scones. Back in 2017 we had a cherry and coconut scone which did not impress. This time it was to be treacle for me and an empire biscuit for Pat. At least my scone was a good bit smaller than how we remembered them here, so that was a relief. Pat kindly decorated mine with the green jelly thingy from her biscuit. A long time since I’ve had a treacle scone and this one was really good. No jam or cream required, just some butter. A great day out and Pat was feeling spoiled … a sale and an empire biscuit!

Posters at Dobbie's Garden Centre Stirling — Dobbies is older than we thought

Testosterone

With Nicola Sturgeon stepping down, Scottish politics is in a bit of a turmoil. The contest is between Humza Yousaf and Kate Forbes. Another female leader would be good since, particularly after the bull sales, there always seems to be too much testosterone floating around world politics. However the debate has become mired in religion and LGBT rights. Hopefully the arguments are not going to be about that … there are bigger things to worry about

FK9 4UF tel: 01786 458860 Dobbies

///flush.travels.waxer

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

Stirling Castle

21 February 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 11 Comments

The unicorn is the national animal of Scotland. It’s a symbol of purity as well as being proud and untameable. Sounds about right! If you are very lucky you might see unicorns anywhere in Scotland but one of the best places to see them is Stirling Castle. It even has a Unicorn Cafe!

Argyles

Before we went to the cafe we visited the Regimental Museum of the Argyle and Sutherland Highlanders – the much feared ‘men in skirts’. The castle is the spiritual home of the regiment which was formed in 1881 and then amalgamated into the Royal Regiment of Scotland in 2006. We spent some time going round and reading about all the battles in which they’ve been involved all over the world. At the end, however, we were left with the overriding impression that Britain has stuck its nose into all sorts of places where it really wasn’t welcome. Many thousands of soldier’s lives were sacrificed in the name of King and country but in reality the end game was always the same … maintaining the power of those at the top of British society … and enhancing their wealth.

In spite of us humans being pretty spectacular in so many ways in other ways we’re absolutely awful. Considering our time on earth is but a fleeting moment you would think that there would better things to do with these moments than simply killing other people just like ourselves. Luckily, just as the dark clouds of depression were looming ever closer we remembered there would be scones at the Unicorn Cafe … hurrah! Yes, we are unbelievably shallow.

Unicorn Cafe at Stirling Castle — One of three compartments that form the cafe

Oversized

The cafe is run by a company called Benugo. We reviewed their Cafe by Benugo in Glasgow six years ago. Not too impressed then and we still aren’t! We thought everything was very expensive, especially for a self-service cafe. One tourist was informed that the hot food would arrive in half an hour. Presumably to replace the rather sorry assortment on display. You even have to clear your own table? Normal practice for us but we don’t usually expect to have to do it!

On the plus side we did had some soup and bread which was very nice. However, almost £6 for a scone with jam and cream was a surprise. The scone itself was quite nice but huge and, as you know, we’re not keen on oversized scones. It was shared between us but even then we couldn’t finish it all. The overall experience at the Unicorn Cafe was disappointing, nowhere near a topscone.

Coat of arms at Stirling Castle — Royal Coat of Arms of Scotland up to 1603

From the 1100s onwards the story of Stirling Castle is really one of a continuous confrontation between England and Scotland. Over the centuries the castle has been occupied by opposing forces many times. Ironically, in 1502 James IV signed the Treaty of Perpetual Peace with England. It lasted all of eleven years until Scotland declared war on England in support of France … heyho,he tried!

Up to 1603, Scotland’s Coat of Arms featured two unicorns either side of a shield. Later it had only one unicorn and a lion on the other side to represent the strength of England.

Fly to France

Before it became a military base Stirling Castle was a Royal Palace. Mary Queen of Scots was crowned here in 1543 aged nine months and lived here until she was five. A few years earlier in 1507 her grandfather, James IV, had employed an Italian alchemist with the idea of turning any old scrap metal into gold. With continuing failure rumours inevitably circulated that he might be fraudulent. He desperately needed to prove that he did indeed possess wondrous powers. He decided to fly to France from the ramparts of the castle using wings made from eagle feathers. Unfortunately, eagle feathers were in short supply so he used chicken feathers instead. He plunged straight down into the castle cess-pit and miraculously escaped with nothing but a broken leg. Should definitely have used eagle feathers!

No Netflix

There is an area on the ramparts called the Ladies Lookout. It enabled the ladies of the castle to watch their husbands gallop around in the park below killing deer, foxes and probably anything else that moved. Exciting viewing considering there was no Netflix back then!

View of Kings Park from the Ladies Lookout

We do have Netflix, however, so when we got home we decided to settle down and watch the BAFTA award winning epic “All Quiet On The Western Front”. Set in WWI it follows German troops in trench warfare against the French. Amazingly it was only made possible because of Lesley Paterson, from Stirling. She bought the rights to the book with her winnings as a triathlete and ended up co-producing the film. It’s an amazing production but goodness, it’s not an easy watch. It should, however, be compulsory viewing for the likes of Putin and any others preoccupied with warmongering.

Unicorn picture in Stirling Castle — everyone should have a unicorn above their mantlepiece

Did you know?

Baby unicorns are called “foals” but sometimes they are known as “sparkles”.

FK8 1EJ Tel: 01786 450000 Unicorn Cafe

///caked.sorry.bids

Ordinary, Scones

Woodside Hotel

4 February 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 5 Comments

When the American War of Independence started in the ironically named Concord in Massachusetts the first shot was fired from a pistol that was made where we are today. Yes, you guessed it, we are in the village of Doune, once famous for its pistol making. The first shot was fired from the American side and we are pretty sure that whoever was on the receiving end wasn’t bothered about where the gun was made. It would be ironic, however, if whoever got shot was from Scotland … or even Doune! Even more ironic if the person firing it was from Scotland as well … we like to be even handed. Today we are not thinking of starting a war but simply to visit the newly reopened Woodside Hotel.

Mosaic at the Woodside Hotel, Doune — Mosaic at the main door

Transformation

For years we have been driving past this place and been dismayed to see it become increasing dilapidated. For a few of years it lay empty. All change, however, because it was recently taken over by people who already run a couple of popular establishments in nearby Stirling and Dunblane. They’ve spent a lot of money and it shows … very pleasantly surprised as soon as we walked in the door. It has a light airy dining room, a modern bar area and a large coffee lounge.There’s also a nice cosy little snug area with a wood burning stove.

We were seated in a large bay window. A spot of brunch was the order of the day and then a scone to share. First thing we noticed was the coffee. It was fab and , of course, it turned out to be our favourite Cat’s Pyjamas from Henry’s Coffee Company. They only had fruit scones left and it turned out to be quite a spicy affair with lots of raisins, sultanas as well as things like peel that you don’t normally get. It was very nice and the spiciness was really unusual. Bit on the large side for our liking and, of course it came with the ubiquitous Rodda’s Cornish clotted cream. Not quite a topscone but delicious nevertheless.

Think we might be back here quite often because one of Pat’s favourite shops is only about 100 yards away.

Righteous and indignant

It’s a small village but Doune is famous for more than just starting far away wars. It has a castle that’s featured in Outlander, Game of Thrones, Monty Python and the Holy Grail to name but a few. It has a distillery and a huge antique centre. As well as all that it is also a favourite place for the fairy folk. They are often seen dancing on the nearby Fairy Knowe. And if you think that’s a bit far fetched, the news these days seems to be full of balloons. No, not the type we have in government! Huge Chinese ones that are floating over the US’s nuclear arsenal in Montana. Goodness, John Dutton would never have stood for that sort of thing over his Yellowstone ranch. Always amusing when governments get all righteous and indignant about others spying on them …. as if they didn’t do exactly the same!

FK16 6AB tel: 01786 643399 Woodside Hotel

///reset.cherry.overjoyed

Ordinary, Scones

Food@34a

1 February 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 4 Comments

At the risk of becoming repetitive and boring with our cinematic exploits … here’s another. You are all aware by now that we have developed a rather sinful habit of going to our local cinema … in the morning! They even give you a cup of tea and a biscuit! How nice is that?

External view of the Hippodrome in Bo'ness — Hippodrome, Scotland’s oldest picture palace

In our defence, we do try and bring you a fresh scone with each of these outings … this time it’s the turn of Food@34a.

There are garages … and then there are garages

Timing wise, this morning was rather difficult because our car was booked in for its annual MOT. Our garage is out in the boonies but no need to worry. They said they would give us a lift to the cinema, MOT the car and pick us up afterwards. How nice is that?

This time the film was called “Till”. An excellent movie set in 1955. Based on a true story about a fourteen year old black boy, Emmett Till, moving from Chicago to Mississippi for the summer to be with his cousins. He met a horrendous end, however, at the hands of white supremacists. In essence though “Till” is about a mother’s love for a lost son. It was extremely well done but we found it a difficult watch. It left us both a bit raw.

Hell

For some reason it always seems naughty to be coming out of the movies and then going for lunch. And since. they gave me an indulgent slice of caramel shortcake with my tea instead of a biscuit, I’m sure I’m going straight to hell.

Food@34a is directly opposite 1884, a cafe we reviewed five years ago. It’s a rather odd name and the external appearance cannot be described as particularly inviting. Inside, however, it was a different story … bright and clean and airy! Problem was, however, all the tables were taken. We were just about to walk back out the door when a lady called over and said that we could have their table as they were about to leave. How nice was that?

As a bonus the table was at a window so we are able to look out at the traffic … yeah! Honestly, the ‘biscuit’ at the cinema was all we had had all day so we were ready for something more to eat. After an excellent bite of lunch we launched into the fruit scone we were sharing. It was nicely presented with little bowls of jam and butter. We asked our server if they had cream. She said that they sometimes did but she would go and find out. She returned very apologetically saying that they didn’t have any today. Disappointing but how nice was that?

We particularly liked the food and cheery helpful service at Food@34a and would not think twice about going back. Oddly, in the short time that we were there it went from completely full to pretty much empty. When the garage picked us up they had given the car a clean bill of health. How nice is that?

Ethics

In out previous post, Hope Street Cafe, we said that we couldn’t really understand why our PM, Rishi (couldn’t punch my way out of a paper bag) Sunak hadn’t fired his Party Chairman over his £4.8million tax oversight. Well he has gone now, but only because Rishi’s ethics adviser advised him to do so. Just the presence of an ethics adviser infers that Rishi is unable to tell right from wrong by himself. Now he has a couple of dozen bullying complaints about his Deputy, Dominic Raab to deal with. He’s appointed a high powered lawyer to help him with that. The Tories certainly love their scandals!

EH51 0EA tel: 07380 600235 Food@34aFB

///fixture.melts.snares

ps: a newspaper in Fife has recently reported on a local man who was trying to sell a Roll On Deodorant.

An article about a local man trying to sell a roll on deodorant

And another headline “Pensioner’s Big Cock Becomes Tourist Attraction”.

Ordinary, Scones

Hope Street Cafe

25 January 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 7 Comments

This post comes to you from the Hope Street Cafe in Bo’ness. It’s in Hope Street so you can see the thinking. Last time we were here was back in 2018 when it was called Brian’s Cafe. At that time the media were getting their knickers in a twist about a poisoning in Salisbury. A critic of the regime in Russia, Sergei Skripal and his daughter had been affected by nerve agents. They were in a critical condition. This gave rise to frenzied speculation about whether or not Vladimir Putin might be a bad man. Well, as you know, things have moved on.

Omnipotence

2018 saw Putin, along with President Xi of China manufacture situations where they could remain in power for as long as they liked. In the US, Donald Trump was busy trying to follow their example. In the UK, Theresa May was finding it impossible to leave her job as PM because no-one else would take it. Well, as you know, things have moved on.

We are at the Hope Street Cafe because it’s adjacent to the Hippodrome cinema where we had been to see “A Man Called Otto”. It’s about an elderly man who thinks that the whole world has gone mad and he is the only sensible person left. I asked Pat if Otto reminded her of anyone … she just smiled. Things are so bad for Otto he finds it impossible, in spite of multiple attempts, to successfully commit suicide. His own incompetence or interfering neighbours always get in the way. It was a good film worth seeing. We got out of the cinema around lunchtime so that’s why we’re here in the cafe.

Fruit

It’s a no-frills kind of place … and all the better for that. The staff seemed to know everyone and it had that sort of buzz that you get in places that are full of regulars. After a bite of lunch we got a scone to share. It was a fruit scone. We knew that because we could see two pieces of fruit. However, as far as fruit was concerned, that was it! As per usual, Pat took the top half. But, perhaps thinking I might be inspired by Otto, was trying to avert a suicide attempt when she insisted that I had both bits of fruit. It’s love! Short of fruit perhaps but the scone itself was really quite nice. Of course, it was never going to be a topscone.

Forgetfulness

Having enjoyed our visit we emerged into Hope Street to the news that our former Chancellor of the Exchequer, Zadhim Zahawi, had inadvertently forgotten to pay £4.8million in tax. Don’t you find it really annoying when that happens? You’ve filled in all the forms as best you can but completely forgotten about the £27million you had just been given from an off-shore trust … damn! Easily overlooked!

Three weeks into 2023 and the US has had 40 mass shootings already. Goodness, no wonder Otto thought he was the only sensible person left!

EH51 0AA tel: 01506 823815 Hope Street Cafe

///bubble.paramedic.audio

Ordinary, Scones

Balbirnie House

17 January 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 7 Comments

The other day, when we told a friend that we were going to Balbirnie House for scones and a seven course dinner, he said “You lucky bloggers” … at least, we’re pretty sure that’s what he said. Although the seven course dinner with matching wine flight was quite enticing what swung it for us was the promise of a cream tea on arrival. How could we resist?

The hotel is only a thirty minute drive from home, in the Kingdom of Fife. “A beggar’s banquet fringed with gold“.. that’s how James VI of Scotland once described Fife. The “gold” referred to the lovely beaches all along its coastline. Balbirnie House is in the village of Markinch in central Fife … so that’ll be the begger’s banquet then! Could this be an omen for our dinner?

The Orangery at Balbirnie House — the Orangery

We did not want our cream tea to spoil our appetite for our ‘banquet’ so we arrived early in the afternoon. The spacious Orangery was where it was served. Our scones were very good. A nice crunchy outer layer combined with a warm soft interior … just the way we like them. Plenty jam and cream so what was the problem? Just the size. Normally we expect to get two relatively small scones with a cream tea but these were just too big. Pat only managed one. I did my best with the second but was eventually beaten into submission. And there was another problem!

Size is everything?

The coffee was Nespresso which meant that it was good but served in small Nespresso cups. Even though we could get as many cups as we liked, we don’t think that these pod machines are appropriate for situations like this. It just seemed a bother to keep asking for more. A nice big pot of coffee is much better. Argh, so the scones were too big and the coffees were too small. Are we turning into grumpy old bloggers?

Internal view of Balbirnie House — after dinner drinks by the fire

Seven

Anyway, us ‘lucky bloggers’ had to report later on for dinner. If we couldn’t manage a couple of scones what would we be like with a seven course dinner. As we get older we no longer seem as able for huge feasts, hence we normally share everything. No need for sharing here though! Each course was ideally sized and consequently we got through all the courses without a problem. Helped, of course, by four different specially selected wines.

However, by the time we were finished we were absolutely stuffed. We had to retire to one of the lounges for recuperation by a big log fire. This blogging game cannot be taken lying down … or maybe it should be?. No, it requires copious amounts of grit and determination, not to mention stamina! Honestly, after eight years of doing this, we are in the peak of condition … don’t scoff!

Rishi Sunak, the latest Prime Minister through that revolving door at 10 Downing Street, made his first visit to Scotland the other day. Currently he is presiding over a disastrous situation of strikes across the entire public sector. A situation skilfully crafted over thirteen years of Tory rule by his predecessors.

To celebrate his sojourn north of the border, he and Scotland’s First Minister met for dinner in Inverness. We don’t know how many courses! Rishi has the honour of being Nicola Sturgeon’s fifth Prime Minister since she came to power. She seems to be collecting them like the Queen used to do. He seems to have survived the experience and emerged relatively unscathed but probably with several fleas in his ears. No point in going through the promises made because promises from Westminster are not worth the paper they are written on these days. Actually, not just these days, as long as we can remember!

If you ever get the chance to experience one of Balbirnie’s dinner you should take it. Great experience and great value.

KY7 6NE tel: 01592 610066 Balbirnie

///submitted.healers.students

Ordinary, Scones

Coffee Jam

1 December 2022 billpaterson1@me.com 5 Comments

Some readers seem to think that we go to a lot of trouble by travelling miles and miles just to report on a scone. It doesn’t really work like that! It just sort of happens in a completely random kind of way. This post from Coffee Jam in Renfrew might help illustrate the point.

The other day we went online to bid on a lot at McTears Auction House in Glasgow. We didn’t get what we wanted. We were outbid by quite a long way … boo!. However, in the random nature of auctions another lot took our fancy. It was a couple of Clutha glass vases made by James Couper & Sons in Glasgow circa 1900. Their factory closed in the 1930s but it was situated just a couple of hundred yards from where we worked for many years. Liberty of London named it Clutha (“cloudy” in Gaelic) to identify the deliberately bubbly, streaky nature of the glass. Needless to say, although we hadn’t meant to buy anything like this, we somewhat randomly pressed the successful ‘bid’ button. All of a sudden, they were ours!

Today we were collecting them from McTears. We had the vases safely cosseted in bubblewrap for the journey home when we realised that Renfrew, the county town of Renfrewshire, was just about a mile further west. Neither of us thought we had ever been there. Odd, because it’s right beside Glasgow airport but all the main roads seem to bypass Renfrew itself. Randomly, at the gate out of McTears, instead of turning right for home we turned left for Renfrew. Like many post-industrial towns it looks a little bit tired but hints of a glorious past abound. Not least of these is the town hall, a magnificent confection in stone, which now houses a museum to celebrate all things “Renfrew”.

Fascinating facts

There was loads of things of interest. The Renfrew horde of 674 silver pennies dating from the the late thirteenth century was discovered here. It was in an earthenware jug dug up in 1963. There was a set of dominoes made by French POWs held here during the Napoleonic Wars. And, did you know that the first shots fired in the skies over Britain in WWII were fired by George Pinkerton flying a Spitfire from Renfrew. He attacked a German fighter over the River Forth. And, the first aircraft to cross the Atlantic east to west, the R34 airship, was built by local company, Beardmore & Co, in 1919. One of the crew had to parachute out to help the ground crew in the US who didn’t know how to land it. So many fascinating things that we didn’t know about Renfrew. We needed a scone and some tea to help digest it all.

Spare?

Randomly, on the other side of the street from the town hall was Coffee Jam. There was no evidence of scones anywhere and when we asked if they had any there was consternation! Our girl, Christy, went off to the kitchen and from there she signaled with two fingers that they had two. We signaled back with a thumbs up and some enthusiastic head nodding! When she brought the scones to our table we asked if she had baked them. No, the chef had baked them earlier but we were extremely lucky that they had two scones ‘spare’. And with that she turned to help another customer. We were intrigued, how does a scone come to be ‘spare’?

Each scone were quite big, nicely warmed and, although the WeWantPlates brigade would not have been happy, pleasingly presented on a slate. They were accompanied by large bowls of cream and jam. Although the cream was ‘scooshie’ the consistency was good compared to some we’ve had in the past. Sometimes it dissolves into liquid almost immediately! And loads of jam … maybe this was why it’s called ‘Coffee Jam’? We enjoyed our scones even though they didn’t quite merit a topscone. Coffee Jam has only been on the go for less than a year and has already won awards. The owners are obviously trying very hard. We wish them all the best.

Kindred spirits

When we went to pay we couldn’t resist asking what a ‘spare’ scone was. Turns out that they normally only provide scones with their afternoon teas. So the ones we got were ‘spare’. Now we understand though we do think that their scones are a bit on the big side for an afternoon tea. it also turned out that Christy was a fellow photographer. she only works in Coffee Jam part time to help her sister out. Although at opposite ends of our respective career paths we had a great chat about the photography business and hers in particular … SMPhotography.

Random thoughts

On our way home we passed the luxury liner MV Ambition which is moored in the Clyde. It’s been hired by the Scottish government as temporary accommodation for Ukrainian refugees. There’s another cruise liner in Edinburgh being used for the same purpose. There’s not much news about this, so not sure what to think. There’s lots of news, however, about the most corrupt sporting event ever, the Qatar World Cup. Apparently it’s actually supposed to matter! The MV Ambition made us realise that we do need to spare a thought for the Russian troops dug into hellish trenches for the winter. Of course, we need to spare a thought for the Ukrainian troops as well but at least they know why they’re there.

Hopefully you can now see how, through the random nature of our lives, a random purchase in an auction can randomly lead to a spare scone.

PA4 8QD tel: 0141 560 2714 Cafe Jam Insta

///paying.racks.copper

Believable?

Sacrifices

Danger of death

Alpacas

American constitution

Advice to leaders

Tolls

Stop off

Salad days

Tempting offer?

Guineas

Size is everything

No jam or cream

Testosterone

Argyles

Oversized

Fly to France

No Netflix

Did you know?

Transformation

Righteous and indignant

There are garages … and then there are garages

Hell

Omnipotence

Fruit

Forgetfulness

Size is everything?

Seven

Fascinating facts

Kindred spirits

Random thoughts

by Bill and Pat Paterson and is about finding good scones throughout the world, with a little bit of politics