Category Archives: Ordinary

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Ordinary, Scones

JamJar Café

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Bridge of Allan is the kind of Belgravia of central Scotland. A favourite hangout for the well off to live and play so there are lots of hotels, cafés, bars etc. Today we decided to stop off at the JamJar Café.  A nice day though not quite warm enough to sit outside on their pavement patio area. Inside though it is toasty no matter what the weather. A couple of big log burning stoves blazing away all day. It has the atmosphere of a well run but relaxed bistro and you can get pretty much anything you want from Sunday lunch to a snack. Internal view at the Jamjar Café, Bridge of Allan

Needless to say we were after the scones so I got my usual fruit one and Pat got a savoury cheese one. Since our last post, of course, the election has come and gone .. and what an election. The media are having a field day trying to figure out what happened with the loss of three party leaders within as many hours. Scotland, typically some might say, has gone off on its own in a direction almost diametrically opposed to England. It managed to get PoshDave returned with an overall majority thus proving that polls are not worth the paper they are written on.

Again typically, Scotland seems to be getting blamed for all the ensuing problems. Bringing down Labour , bringing down LibDems and, for all I know, bringing down UKIP. Though I’m not sure that could actually be classified as a problem. NastyNige bleating on about his 4 million votes being worth only one seat whereas the SNP’s 1.5 million  votes gets them 56 seats. Of course, conveniently forgetting that the SNP only stood in 59 seats compared to over 600 for UKIP.

Statistics

However, the most interesting statistic to emerge was the one that determined that if every single voter in Scotland had voted Labour (or any other party) it would not have made the slightest difference to the result. That for me encapsulates ‘the Scottish problem’. When it comes to voting, Scotland may as well not bother. Except maybe this time with virtually the whole country turning yellow, it might be different. Emphasis on ‘might’.

Anyway PoshDave and his classmates can pretty well do as they want now but I suspect that most of England will not be happy with the results. That, along with the EU, the Union, and him being unpopular within his own party, may turn out to be the least of his problems. “He’s gonna catch a cold, from the ice inside his sole” as Christina Perri would say. A scone at the Jamjar Café, Bridge of AllanIt will be fascinating to see how it all pans out.

Meanwhile the scones in the JamJar Café were consumed with varying degrees of indifference. Pat didn’t finish her cheese one and although I finished both of mine (I got two because they said that they were a little bit small but they probably just wanted rid of them) it was only because I was peckish. They did not seem fresh and certainly not produced on the day.

Daughters of Bridge of Allan

Everything else looks good in the JamJar, and it’s busy so they are obviously not depending on their scones. On the plus side log burning stoves are great. The service was efficient if not overly friendly. The daughters of Bridge of Allan are probably forced to work here so they can experience ‘the real world’. No passwords for the wifi, it is just there, brill! So why is the website so useless?

FK9 4HR      tel: 01786 831616      www.jamjarcafe.co.uk

Ordinary, Scones

Callendar House

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Callendar House is a great Georgian chateauesque building in the centre of Falkirk. It’s history goes way back to the 14th century when it was built for the Livingstone family. However, since then it has played host to many historical figures including  Mary, Queen of Scots, Oliver Cromwell, Bonnie Prince Charlie and Queen Victoria. The tearoom we see today is part of the restoration after the house was partially demolished by Cromwell’s forces in the mid 17th century.

Affinity

I have a particular affinity to this place because my dad was head forester on Callendar Estate and as a young lad I regularly had to accompany him to visit the offices which were in the west wing of the house. At that time the house and its policies were very private with few people ever getting to go anywhere near it. The riders and hounds for fox hunts always started off from the front door. It was eventually taken over by Falkirk Council in 1963. Since then it  has been run as a public amenity for the people of the town. Interior view at Callendar House, Falkirk

The turbulent times in the past brought about by Cromwell and the Young Pretender are not all that far removed from what we are witnessing in GE2105 with only a few days left before polling. All the Unionists parties seem to be hellbent on neutralising Scotland’s MP’s in Parliament without, apparently, realising the irony of what they are doing. If Scotland is effectively disenfranchised then Scotland, to all intents and purposes, is a foreign country .. end of Union. The Union will not be preserved by ignoring the settled will of one of it’s constituent countries. Hoary old sceptic that I am, even I cannot imagine that they are all as thick as that. England does not ‘need’ Scotland it sure as hell needs Scotland more than Scotland needs England.

No staff

We were here for the Fabrizio Gianni photographic exhibition which was great. Of course we soon ended up gravitating towards the tearoom which is absolutely beautiful. Unfortunately, however, it has ‘council’ written all over it .. the epitome of inefficiency. A scone at Callendar House, FalkirkAlthough it could easily be decked out with tasteful tables and chairs that you can buy for buttons at an auction, instead it has the ‘council’ conference style furniture which  jars grotesquely with the surroundings. There is a fantastic fireplace .. but no hint of a fire? When we arrived there were no staff either although someone eventual appeared from some distant room. It was a very odd atmosphere.

The staff were friendly but had to work very hard fetching everything from afar.  They advertise afternoon tea with freshly baked scones and cream. However our scones were certainly not baked that day, the worst scones we have had in some time. We were also told that they “don’t do cream”. What with the Falkirk Wheel and the Kelpies, Falkirk has become a major tourist attraction. C’mon Falkirk Community Council, you can do better than this with such a splendid location!

FK1 1YR            tel: 01324 503770                    Callendar House

Ordinary, Scones

McTears Auctioneers

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.McTears is one of many well run auction houses in Scotland. One which we use on a fairly regular basis. This time we had to go through and pick up a bottle of whisky and a sextant (don’t ask) that had been bought on line. It is always good fun at auctions but even just visiting can be interesting. Lots of stuff going on and lots of interesting people. By the time we had paid for and acquired all our goodies it was scone time and it just so happens that McTears have a great wee café serving hungry antique hunters.

Broken teeth

We were served by a very friendly lady who soon had us fixed up. When I asked if the scones were home baked she shrieked “if I had baked them you would have to go to the dentist  to get your broken teeth mended”! Such honesty! So no home baking here but then again you come here to buy antiques not scones.  A scone at McTears Auctioneers

Last night there was the three leaders debate on BBCQT. Normally these things are notable for their lack of excitement and, to some extent, this one was no exception. PoshDave maintained his track record by telling a whole load of half truths as well as some blatant lies. LibNick maintained his track record by not saying anything. RedEd, as well as stumbling off the podium (that will be the headlines) seemed to say that he would prefer that PoshDave carried on in power rather than him do a deal with the vile NatNic.

Coming from a Labour leader that is quite extraordinary. Perhaps explains why, in Scotland, RedEd’s party is known as the RedTories. Poor old Keir Hardie is spinning in his grave. As it happened the scones were okay, exactly what you would tend to expect from bought-in. No dental damage whatsoever!

Homemade, Ordinary, Scones

Nicola Sturgeon

Nicola Sturgeon rolling the doughNow you all know that this is not a blog about politics, although a wee bit might creep in from time to time. However, we could not resist putting this one up. She has been called the most dangerous person in the UK by the media. A voracious weevil by London’s mayor. The most ruthless person in Britain (she cut her sister’s doll’s hair) and many other derogatory things besides. She has also been called the most accomplished politician in the UK. And has managed to make the most tweeted enquiry ‘can I vote for the SNP in England’. Quite extraordinary!
Nicola Sturgeon buttering a scone

If all of this was not enough .. she makes scones. Okay it was a photo opportunity in Kilmarnock. However, as dedicated sconeys she definitely gets our vote, along with 51% of other Scots according to the newspapers. Maybe that should be the test for who next occupies No 10 ..  the best scone? Instead of leaders debates where they all stand in a line and talk over each other they could have a bake-off. Whoever makes the best scone wins.

Breaking up

To be honest, they might as well, rather than coming up with ever more promises they have not got a hope in hell of keepScone of destiny headline in the Daily Recording. Scotland, along with it’s First Minister is being called all sorts of things … mostly uncomplimentary. Even this close to the election they don’t seem to realise that Scotland is not being difficult just for the hell of it. It’s because we are utterly fed up with Westminster politics where Scotland’s voice is almost never heard. The SNP does not want to ‘break up’ the UK, they just want to leave it. In much the same way as the Unionists are saying they want to leave the EU. These scones look good, pity we did not get to test them.

Ordinary, Scones

Gordon House

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Dornoch is a beautiful little town just north of Inverness. In her schooldays Pat used to come here on holiday. It is centered round the Cathedral which held its first service in 1239. However, recently it has become more famous for the christening of Madonna’s son Rocco in 2000. There is also a world class golf course (voted 5th best course outside the USA) and a fantastic blue flag beach. In many ways Dornoch has it all. However, the burning question is, can any of its many eateries  produce a decent scone?

Amongst all the antique shops and hotels there are lots of possibilities but we eventually chose Gordon House on the High Street close to the cathedral.Lots going on here as well because Gordon House combines a gift shop, art gallery and café. Great selection of delicious looking home baking but of course it had to be the scones for us.
After a poor start to the day the weather

Internal view at Gordon House in Dornoch
Cafe area behind the displays

had cleared up nicely so we sat outside and watched the good people of the town going about their business. The last witch to be burned to death in Scotland met her unfortunate end here in 1727. We were hoping the same fate had not been dished out to the scones.

Talking of witches, we hear that the Home Secretary thinks that the UK will face its worst constitutional crisis since Edward VIII abdicated if Scots get involved in democracy … and London has banned bagpipes!

Bonkers

The world truly has gone bonkers. A scone at Gordon House in Dornoch This snippet from NewsBiscuit kind of sums it up. “Meanwhile along the north coast of France coastguards and emergency services have been working round the clock to cope with boat loads of Daily Mail readers crossing the Channel in dangerously overcrowded makeshift vessels. ‘They come here seeking a better life and to get away from persecution,’ said François Berthand, manager of the Calais Detention Centre known locally as ‘Little England’. ‘They come here telling tales of being forced to eat Tunnocks tea-cakes, ceilidh dancing and longer-term deficit reduction strategies. Some weep uncontrollably and hug and kiss us. When they start being nice to the French, you know something must have really spooked them’”.

Lighting

No worries about burnt scones though, when they arrived they looked ‘proper’ and tasted really good. No cream but sometimes you just have to rough it. We also think that the artist exhibiting in the gallery was the self same artist who baked the scones. Now that’s talent. It is always nice to come across a place which is making a big effort to cater to a wide range of customers, and succeeding. Well done … but change that LED lighting. It may be efficient but it looks weird, you can get warmer ones!

IV25 3SH             tel: 01862 811737          Gordon House

Ordinary, Scones

Inchbae Lodge

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This place is interesting. A young couple from the North of England have had it about 7 months. Through the winter, they have managed to transform it into a pleasant guest house and bar/café. Previously, it had become very run down and attracted some pretty poor reviews. Now, however, it’s a fresh start and you cannot help but wish them all the luck in the world

Inchbae Lodge is on the road to Ullapool out of Garve and it would not be unreasonable to describe it as being ‘in the middle of nowhere’. Far from being a disadvantage this could be exactly what many people are looking for so lets hope that their first summer season is a good one. Unfortunately, when we arrived we seemed to be the only people around.

This may be due to the fact that we drove past it before we realised what we had done. We had to stop and turn back. Maybe a few more road signs notifying drivers in advance would help? Anyway we were made to feel very welcome as were ushered into a very comfortable conservatory at the back of the Lodge to await our scones and coffee. A scone at Inchbae Lodge

Now here I have to say that I really really wish this review could be better. However, when our scone arrived it was of the bought-in variety. It tasted ok but  the cream that came with it was aerosol ‘scooshie. As a result  it fairly quickly turned to watery white liquid in the  warmth of the conservatory.  In spite of these things it was pleasant to relax in the coziness and catch up with the news.

Outnumbered

What oh what is happening in the election? It seems that the  party with ‘Unionist’ in its title is determined to break the Union apart with their proposals for English only votes for England. If I was being kind I would say that they simply have not thought the scheme through. If I was being unkind I would say that they are trying to undermine basic fundamental democracy and becoming more nationalist than the nationalists. Either way it can only end up in tears for the Union.

Don’t they realise that according to Parliament’s own figures Scottish MPs traditionally only have a deciding effect on  0.06% of parliamentary business. In other words, in the past Scottish MPs may as well not have bothered. That figure will probably not hold true after this election but it will still remain that Scottish MPs are vastly outnumbered by English ones, as has always been the case. So what on earth are they on about?

SNP to the rescue

In the meantime it looks as if you will have to vote SNP to save the Union.  It’s a mad world! We feel that our English friends at Inchbae Lodge need to find a way of tapping into the large visitor numbers at Rogie Falls. It’s just down the road and there’s nothing in the way of cafe facilities that we could see. We wish them every good fortune but ditch the scooshie cream!

IV23 2PH      tel: 01997 455070     www.inchbaelodge.com

Ordinary, Scones

John MacNabs Bar & Bistro

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Logo at John MacNabs Bar & Bistro, InvernessIt is not that often we are in Inverness as usually we are just passing through. Today, however, although again on our way to somewhere else, we have stopped off to see what the city has to offer. As it happens, today, the capital of the Highlands is bathed in glorious spring sunshine. The river Ness runs through the city centre and on its banks we came across John MacNabs Bar & Bistro. It’s part of the Columba Hotel complex. It has an outside seating area which was very welcome on such a warm day.

Apricot jam?

No time was wasted in getting some scones ordered and they duly arrived nice and warm, with lots of jam and cream. Normally we expect to get either strawberry or raspberry jam but at MacNabs it was apricot? Pat exchanged her’s for strawberry but I thought I would live adventurously and stuck with what I had been given. I enjoyed it but not sure if it will catch on as a substitute for the more traditional preserves. A scone at John MacNabs Bar & Bistro, InvernessLovely friendly service but our scones were of the bought-in variety and although they tasted fine they were nothing to write home about.

The news today is of course about the upcoming, increasingly boring, election. Also of hundreds of people losing their lives crossing the Mediterranean from Libya to Italy. Sitting in the sunshine by the river in Inverness it is difficult to imagine what these people are going through. Their desperate attempts to better their lives, is another world entirely. In the circumstances, it seems almost immoral to be writing about something as frivolous as scones.

Old fashioned

Most will have never heard of scones so perhaps it is to be hoped that some of the survivors may eventually be able to discover the pleasure of scones. In that respect alone their lives will have become better. Maybe they could even do it in Inverness, who knows? MacNabs even give you a biscuit with your coffee and a shortbread biscuit with your scone. Nice touch but maybe a little unnecessary. They also serve on slate. Call us old fashioned but we cannot think what is wrong with a good old plate. It’s very pleasant sitting bathed in sunshine by the river but this is probably not the best scone in Inverness … nor the worst.

IV3 5NF    tel: 0871 3769900      McNabs

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

Blossom’s Bistro

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Blossom’s is situated within the ever popular Torwood Garden Centre at Larbert between Falkirk and Stirling. Like the Centre itself the bistro is big, over 200 seats. Now you would not normally go to a garden centre specifically for a scone but at this time of year garden centres are going to be hard to avoid. You may as well try a scone at the same time. Internal view of Blossoms Bistro, TorwoodI have to say that Blossoms tries really hard and for the most part succeeds. There is a wide range of food on offer.

They even do an afternoon tea with generous helpings of sandwiches, cakes, scones, tea or coffee for £15 … for two people! Don’t think you can do much better than that! No surprise then that it’s a busy place, We suspect that many folk just come to the Bistro without going out to the plant area. They also support Central Arts.  An organisation of local artists, displaying and selling their artworks to benefit various charities. Highly commendable!

A Parliament of scones

It’s a beautiful warm day but I gather that some folks are getting a bit overheated regarding the upcoming election. Let’s look at it sensibly! Lets imagine Parliament being made up of scones. There would be about 650 plain ones, some of them pretty half baked. There would be another 900 or so fruit ones in ‘the other place’. All of them are half baked and we don’t really need them at all. A scone at Blossoms Bistro, TorwoodAt this point in time, before the election, all 650 of the plain scones have been discarded … binned. We only have the 900 fruit ones. Now much as I like a fruit scone many of these are well past their sell-by but there is no way of getting rid of them. Even the pigeons won’t take them.

No worries though, on May 7th, a new batch of plain scones will appear from all over the UK and normality should then be restored. However, the problem this time around seems to be with the Scottish scones. Seen by some, to be of inferior quality, hard to digest and best ignored if possible. Of course this in turn would be tricky for Scottish people to digest  because they  will have gone to a lot of trouble to make them and they know their scones are as good as any.

There are scones and scones

The democratic process that produced all these scones used to see them all as equal but maybe not anymore. Us sconeys have known for a long time that scones are not all equal, far from it. The scones we had in Blossom’s Bistro were better than expected but maybe tasted a little bit floury and slightly more cakeish than we would have liked. Nevertheless we enjoyed them, the coffee was also good, the service was very helpful and friendly. All in all, very good value for money. More than can be said for those in Parliament.

FK5 4EG          tel: 01324 557710         Blossoms Garden Centre

Ordinary, Scones

Bingham Hotel

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What a day! Not only is the temperature about 22 degrees here in Richmond on the banks of the Thames the atmosphere is suChampagne at the Bingham Hotel, Richmondch that you could swear you were on Lake Como. Only cloud anywhere is that the Conservatives have just announced a ‘right to buy’ scheme for housing associations. Are they completely bonkers? Have they lost the scone completely? The last scheme rolled out by Maggie was a disaster for the country and now they want to repeat the whole process again. Presumably in the vain hope of getting a few votes from loads of prospective landlords. If we are not mistaken it is also illegal but, of course, they will just change the law.

Rooibos and Jasmine Pearls

Back to serious stuff! When you are in Richmond you could do a lot worse than visit the Bingham Hotel for afternoon tea. It is in a fantastic setting with gardens going down to the waters edge and beautiful interiors. The champers thing just had to be done and it was not long before Francesco, who took us under his wing, delivered us two beautiful glasses while we struggled to decide which tea to have. Eventually it was Rooibos for me and Jasmine Pearls for Pat .. lovely.

As you might expect everything was beautifully presented … fantastic linen napkins and delicate floral chinaware. Afternoon tea at the Bingham Hotel, RichmondThere was four different types of sandwich, four plain and fruit scones, four assorted cakes and our scones came nicely wrapped in a napkin to keep them warm. What more could you ask for?A scone at the Bingham Hotel, RichmondWell, unfortunately, the scones were a little bit disappointing. They were too sweet and the texture was too fine so that they seemed more like a cake than a scone. Also the Bingham is a little on the expensive side. Then again you are not going to get this sort of afternoon tea experience on the cheap, far from it. Overall the whole experience was really enjoyable and we would thoroughly recommend it.

TW10 6UT       tel:020 8940 0902      www.thebingham.co.uk

english, Ordinary, Scones

Gail’s Artisan Bakery

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This is the BBC (baby buggy central) otherwise known as Gail’s Artisan Bakery. Barnes is a very nice spot on the bulge in the Thames where the boat race will be contested in a few days time. Only an ‘artisan’ bakery would do .. otherwise the natives would revolt.

As you might expect then, Gail’s is a very nice coffee shop which seems to be busy no matter when you go. Lots of yummy mummy’s and people ‘at the office’. Once saw a couple juggling two laptops, two iPads and four mobile phones, ah the joys! One reason it seems so busy is that it’s small. Although it has overspill seating outside it sometimes seems as if the whole of Barnes is trying to squeeze in here, and no wonder. Lots of great looking home baked breads, cakes, pastries, biscuits .. and scones. You order at the counter and pick up a paddle so that they can find you at your table. Hats off to the staff, they work like trojans, picking their way through the conglomeration of people, bags and buggies.

Being fussy

We had never tried the scones in here before so it had to be done. After a short wait it duly arrived and the reason for the wait became obvious, they had been toasting them. A little too mA scone at Gails Artisan Bakery in Barnes, Londonuch as it happens. They were so hot it was difficult to handle them and as a result the base of the scone had become too hard and the scone itself had become a bit on the dry side. They came with little bowls of cream and strawberry jam which were very nice. Bear in mind that we are comparing with the likes of Fonab Castle here so are being deliberately fussy. Overall we enjoyed Gail’s scones and are sure that the fact that ours were a little over toasted is not the norm. This place is definitely worth a visit.

SW13 9HH                 tel: 02087410987                  Gails