Category Archives: Ordinary

did not collect any awards

Ordinary, Scones

Margo’s Bakehouse

We know, it’s been over three weeks since Ham House, our last scone! Some of you probably thought we had flown the country, ended up in jail .. or died. No, we have just been very busy and sconology has had to take a back seat … pathetic, we know. No more though! Back in the spring, one of our correspondents, ‘the Laird’, gave us a tip off about an establishment in Polmont. It was called “The Wee Calf” but, a few days later, when we went to investigate we were thwarted. It had closed down permanently. The new management team were there, however, and they informed us it would be reopening quite soon.

No frills

Obviously this was not good for us at the time, but now, after our recent sconological hiatus, we decided to reinvestigate. It is only a couple of miles from home and we had an hour or so to spare. Aldi sign near Margo's Bakehouse, PolmontIt’s still in the same place, tucked up the side of Aldi’s supermarket which has a huge sign welcoming you to its Polmont branch … goodness knows where they thought Polmont was when they were making the poster. Under its new owners the Wee Calf has been reincarnated as Margo’s Bakehouse. The unprepossessing exterior is carried on into the interior. This is a no frills kind of place but who cares if the scones are good? Internal view of Margo's Bakehouse, Polmont

Big is more

Well they were good but they were also ginormous. Probably the biggest we have ever come across. Thank goodness we had opted to share one. Having decided against the usual prepacked tub of cornish cream we just had some butter and a generous helping of strawberry jam … but then it had to be generous to deal with such a big scone. A scone at Margo's Bakehouse, PolmontIn fact, all the food here seemed to be on the generous side. You know that saying “you can’t have your cake and eat it too” well that definitely holds good here even if you did want to eat it … everything is big.

In the club

That saying could also be used to typify Britain’s ‘strong’ negotiating position in the Brexit talks that seems to run along the lines … “we want all the benefits of being in the club but we don’t want to actually be in the club” … brilliant! It looks like the EU will have to explain the facts of life to the UK in words of no more than one syllable. Anyway, the staff in Margo’s were very friendly and helpful. We hope that they continue to prosper. However, maybe persuade Steven, the chef, to curb his enthusiasm when making the scones. Thanks to ‘the Laird’.

FK2 0PZ      tel: 01324 720007       Margo’s Bakehouse

K6 telephone box at Cricklade in the Cotswolds from the Saracen foundry in Glasgow Another correspondent, ‘the Pedant’, has reported a K6 outside a Thai restaurant in Cricklade in the Cotswolds. It’s in a pretty sorry state but is interesting in that it was made by the Saracen foundry in Glasgow. Before it closed this foundry was located in Possilpark but it was originally situated just behind the Saracen’s Head pub which opened in 1755 and is still thriving today. Testament to the good drinking folk of Glasgow. It boasts a real witch’s head in a display case on the bar. We think it’s a pub that could probably tell a few stories.

Sir Giles Gilbert Scott

Since we seem to have acquired quite a few telephone box spotters perhaps we should say a little more about them. There were K1 to K8 models designed but some never got beyond the prototype stage. The K2 was too big and expensive and the K3 was prone to breakages. The K5 barely got off the drawing board but the K6, designed by Sir Giles Gilbert Scott in 1936, was by far the most successful. K2 Sir John Soane's Mausoleum in Old StPancras ChurchyardThe design for the roof of the K6 is inspired by the mausoleum of Sir John Soane in St Pancreas churchyard. We had thought that K6s were made completely of cast iron but apparently all the doors are made of teak. Some 60,000 were produced and there are still around 20% remaining around the country.

BS381C-Red538

So iconic are these boxes that nowadays you can even buy a K6 sofa.K6 sofaYou can get your very own K6 sofa by clicking here. For the pedants amongst us, the K6s were painted  “currant red”. However, the K8, introduced in 1968, was the brighter “poppy red”. That became the standard for all boxes when they were repainted. Therefore, should you happen to have a K6 in your garden, or bedroom, it should be painted in the slightly darker shade BS381C-Red538. Bet you really wanted to know that. Only on allaboutthescones! Many thanks to ‘the Pedant’ for the photos.

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

The Orangery – Ham House

FOR SALE des-res in Ham. Thames side location just a short walk from Richmond. Price £1,131! Okay, that was in 1650, just 40 years after it was built by Sir Thomas Vavasour. Goodness knows what it would be worth today. Only Russian oligarchs need apply. Back then however it seemed to be mainly Scots who had the money. Firstly it was William Murray, 1st Earl of Dysart, then Lord Elgin, then John Maitland, 1st Duke of Lauderdale, then Archibald Campbell, 1st Duke of Argyll. In fact several Dukes of Argyll were born here?? The last Earl of Dysart, the 9th, died in 1935 leaving almost £5million but with no direct heirs so in 1948 it passed to the National Trust. And hence they let riffraff like us in. The Orangery Café at Ham House

The interior of the house is supposed to be spectacular but we didn’t bother going in … scones we were after! The gardens are extensive and beautifully manicured. Apparently the oldest Christ’s thorn bush in the country is situated right here on the tea terrace outside the orangery. Not old enough to have provided anything for the crucifixion … but old. The orangery itself is said to be the oldest in the country but then again, the country is not exactly stacked out with orangeries.

Cream first?

It was a lovely day for sitting out so, oncA scone at the Orangery Café at Ham Housee we had acquired everything from the self service counter, that’s what we did. The scones were good and were accompanied by the ubiquitous Rhodda’s Cornish Cream that we are always going on about. Down here it seems much more acceptable than it does in the Highlands of Scotland

A cream first scone at the Orangery Café at Ham House
What a mess!

where there is plenty of local cream. There was also ‘National Trust’ jam and a pat of butter. We were here with our daughter who lives nearby. Before we realised what was happening she had done her scone cream first … arrgghh, dragged up!

Dreich

Nevertheless, no matter which way you prepared these scones they were very good, not topscones but very good. All in all this was a very pleasant way to spend an afternoon. A friend from Maryland who had stayed with us some months back had become fascinated by the word ‘dreich’. In Scottish that means ‘inclement’ or ‘pretty miserable’. He emailed to see if it could be applied to hurricanes or if we had another word for that. We had to let him know that ‘dreich’ was about as serious as our weather gets. So, no, we didn’t have another word. It made us realise, though, with Hurricane Irma reaking havoc all through the Caribbean, how lucky we are to have the weather we have. Even though all we do is complain about it.

TW10 7RS     tel: 020 8940 1950      The Orangery TA

Ordinary, Scones

Café Jaques

After our last visit to the Edinburgh Festival where we visited the very french La Barantine boulangerie, we are back. This time we are in Café Jaques which is just along the street from Petit Paris. Have the French invaded? Are we really leaving the EU? Petit Paris at the Edinburgh International FestivalWith every day that passes we look more and more continental. Al fresco dining at the Edinburgh International FestivalLots of al fresco dining.Street performance at the Edinburgh International FestivalNo idea what’s going on here – it was completely silent for us but they were having a brilliant time with their headphones. The EU certainly seems to have come to Edinburgh but maybe the photo below gives a clue as to why we have Brexit. Oh no, she’s American!SMUT in the Grassmarket at Edinburgh International Festival

After dithering over “Abrupt Erotica” we felt the need for a calming scone and it just so happened that it was Café Jaques that came to the rescue … phew! Not that we escaped completely, there was a bunch of  Festival folk sitting outside the window having a great time. You just can’t escape the happiness of Edinburgh at this time of year. Maybe they had all been to “Smut While U Wait“?Happy festival goers at Café Jaques in the Grassmarket, Edinburgh

But lets be serious for a second, we came in here to get away from all the nonsense and for a bit of sensible sconing. Even though it was going to be French yet again! Internal view of Café Jaques in the Grassmarket, EdinburghBy comparison with the shenanigans going on outside this place was a little oasis of peace and tranquility. They only had fairly large fruit scones so we decided to share one. This time, would you believe it, the coffee was Italian. You would think that in Café Jaques they would at least have French coffee.

Not only that, when our scone arrived it was presented already halved through the middle with its insides exposed to the elements. Has the world gone completely mad? A scone at Café Jaques in the Grassmarket, EdinburghWe had to reassemble it so that you could see it as it in its unmutilated state. Not to worry this was a very reasonable scone and a good attempt for someone French. They’ll get the hang of it eventually. Touching Greyfriar Bobby's nose

Elsewhere in the city people were queuing up to touch Greyfriars Bobby’s nose in spite of a huge campaign to stop it from being worn away.  Self evidently the campaign was not working so why not put a collection box there so that you have to make a contribution if you want your wish to come true. That way they could have a brand new statue ever year. Anyway, Edinburgh on this visit looked fantastic and very continental … lets hope the Scottish government can miraculously find a way to keep us in the EU, after all that’s what Scotland voted for. Sorry keep forgetting. It doesn’t matter what we vote for in Scotland! Vive le Festival d’Édimbourg!

EH1 2JU    tel: 0131 220 5358       Café Jaques TA

Ordinary, Scones

La Barantine

So here we are in France at a nice little boulangerie/patiserrie! Okay, okay, after the last two posts from our home town we thought we should try and give the impression that we have become a little more outward looking. Well we have actually but only as far as Edinburgh!  SMUT in the Grassmarket at Edinburgh International FestivalThe Edinburgh International Festival was in full swing! Absolutely thousands of people all over the place. Just trying to walk down the Royal Mile becomes a tactical nightmare dodging the performers, leaflet distributors and tourists.

There were also clues that the Fringe Festival was alive and well. We met ‘Sven from Sweden‘ who had a sizeable crowd enthralled with his antics. The climax of Sven’s performance was to surmount an unsteady pile of IKEA furniture with an IKEA microwave on top, remove a plate of IKEA Swedish meatballs from the microwave, then spin the plate of meatballs on his head while juggling with three IKEA toilet roll holders complete with toilet rolls. You simply do not get cultural insights like this every day. Sweden seems like a fun place!

Contending with the milling hordes soon take its toll however so it wasn’t long before we were in need of some refreshment. Having done Sweden, the next in line was France in the form of La Barantine. Amazingly it was almost empty when we went in and we could have chosen from virtually any seat. It did not last however, a few minutes later it was very busy indeed. Just like everywhere else! You had to place your order at the counter. Rather oddly for this city where almost all counter staff are from eastern europe, in La Barantine they actually seemed to be from France … promising!

They had scones but only blueberry and raspberry … not so promising! A raspberry and blueberry scone at La Barantine patisserie, EdinburghWhen they arrived at our table they looked ‘interesting’, served on a rustic piece of slate with actual Scottish butter. It seems you have to come to a French café to get Scottish produce … good for them! We wondered if we would manage the Union coffee, however, without gagging. As it happened it was all very good. The scone was not as heavy as it looked. It was very moist but light at the same time and had obviously been freshly prepared. We swithered long and hard about whether these were topscones but in the end we felt they were just a tad ‘odd’ for such a prestigious award … pity!Internal view of La Barantine patisserie, Edinburgh

The Union

After convincing ourselves that the “Union Hand Roasted Coffee” referred to the EU rather than the UK, it was fine as well. The name actually refers to a union between the roasters and their Guatemalan farmers … so that’s good. Even though Edinburgh is completely bonkers in August it is also great fun and a great advertisement for Scotland. In spite of the multitude of people of all sorts of nationalities we don’t think there has even been the slightest hint of trouble in the entire month. We were just wondering what the chances were of meeting some Scottish folk when suddenly three emerged from the crowd. They were imposters from Italy … vive le EU!Three 'Scotsmen' at the Edinburgh International FestivalEH1 2JP    tel: 0131 226 4927       La Barantine

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

Riggs Coffee House

Coffee cup at the Riggs Coffee House, FalkirkCall us boring, call us unadventurous if you like. Our previous post on Sorochas was from Falkirk and here we are again posting from Falkirk. We can explain ! We haven’t been anywhere else! So … continuing with our boring unadventurous lives we ventured once again into the nether regions of the town. This time to Riggs Coffee House, which until a month or so ago, was Forth Valley Butchers. Advert at the Riggs Coffee House, FalkirkIt’s hard to keep up with our ever-changing high street as yet another coffee house replaces a traditional business. The burning question, of course, was … would this newcomer have scones?

Riggs specialises in Italian coffee and makes quite a song and dance about it – the advertising appears everywhere. It is difficult to understand the thinking behind putting a picture of a young, presumably Italian, stud lying on a beach with a beautiful girl and a Vespa, in front of people in Falkirk on a wet windy Wednesday afternoon. A tad annoying … especially when you’ve always wanted a Vespa. Got the beautiful girl already! Doubly annoying when there’s great local coffee, made and sold here in Falkirk, in the form of the Cat’s Pyjamas. Why don’t they make a song and dance about that, it’s very good. 

Fields of flax

There is a problem though – what sort of equivalent picture could be used to advertise Scottish coffee?? Tricky one … suggestions welcome. Anyway Riggs is on the corner of the High Street and Lint Riggs (fields of flax) which used to be the centre of the linen industry in the town. The flax (lint) was prepared here before making its way a few hundred yards to Woo’er (weaver) Street to be made into garments. All that is long gone now and in 1903 the state of the street was considered to be so poor that it was demolished in its entirety and a new Lint Riggs (the one you see to the right of the header picture) was built. Interior view of the Riggs Coffee House, Falkirk

Entrepreneurial ladies

Riggs Coffee House is tastefully done up but when we entered the chap behind the counter looked as if his entire staff had just phoned in sick. Not a happy chappie! He did have scones though! Apparently he had not intended to stock such unitalian items but a lady came in one day and offered to supply him. The resultant trial period had  scones flying off the shelf so now they are a permanent feature. One up for the scones! A scone at the Riggs Coffee House, FalkirkThere was a choice of plain, fruit or treacle and we opted for fruit.

They were very good, nice texture, plenty fruit and they went very well with the much vaunted Italian coffee which, in spite of not being quite “the cat’s pyjamas”, we had to admit was very good. In fact, with the exception of the scone, nothing we had here; jam, butter, coffee, came from Scotland … shame! In the end this was not quite a topscone … good effort though. Well done that entrepreneurial lady. Oh, by the time we were leaving your man’s demeanor seemed to have improved dramatically. We wish him and his venture every success.

FK1 1EY        tel: 01324 627028       Riggs Coffee House FB

One of our correspondents, fondly known as “The Pedant” has been in touch. He came across a K6 (Kirkintilloch variety) at the Henry Moore Collections in Much Hadham, Hertfordshire. Don’t worry the telegraph pole sticking out of the roof is not a new design feature.A K6 at the Henry Moore Collection in Much Hadham

Much Hadham

Much Hadham sounds like the sort of place that the EU should be conducting its Brexit negotiations. Last year, the oil company Shell, which operates in 70 different countries, paid tax in all of them. It paid the Norwegian government £4.3 billion to add to its £1trillion Wealth Fund. Our brilliant negotiators here in Britain ended up paying Shell £187 million so presumably Shell must operate out of Much Hadham as well.

A K2 telephone box in London
A London K2

 

How come, with all the hundreds of billions of oil money that has rolled in over the past thirty years the UK, in stark contrast to Norway, has simply acquired massive debts. Where did it all go? While you write your answers on a postcard can we make a plea for some Norwegian negotiators to come over and help us with the Brexit talks.

Still on the subject of telephone boxes, our ever adventurous Trossachs correspondents have sent a photograph of a rarely seen K2 on a recent visit to London. Don’t know precisely where it was manufactured but was most likely, Kirkintilloch. We will endeavour to be more adventurous in future. We must be running out of new cafés in Falkirk anyway. Musn’t we?

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

Dobbies

It was way back in January that we got a tip-off about the scones at Dobbies Garden Centre just outside Stirling.

January, afternoon tea with two Dobbies scones

Our ever diligent Trossachs correspondents had bought some to take home only to find that they had been given some extra ones free. This was more than they could handle on their own, so they passed on a couple to us. We ate them as part of an afternoon tea we were having with some neighbours. At the time we thought they were rather good, if a little bit oversized. We had to split them up to make them more manageable for our guests. Since then, we have been promising ourselves that we would visit Dobbies and do a proper review. Seven months later, today is the day.

Internal view of the restaurant at Dobbies Garden Centre, Stirling
Just part of Dobbies’ restaurant
Automation

The garden centre is big and they have a restaurant to match. It is a little bit surprising to come in and find so many people out shopping and then to find a large restaurant which is equally busy. The servery area is also big. Rather than wait in a long queue we opted to go to the automated self service part. There is normally some sort of problem with these vending machines … and so it was. However the problem was not so much with the machine as with the operators.

Automatic coffee vending equipment at Dobbies Garden Centre, Stirling
Coffee machine about half way through delivering and it cannot be stopped

Basically, from the large array of cups, all of which looked identical to us, we selected what turned out to be a tea cup. Of course it was far too small for the quantity of coffee being delivered. A kind of Niagara situation ensued. We were a bit bemused by this until we noticed that there were similar but slightly larger ‘coffee’ cups … trauma over.

We had opted to share a cherry and coconut scone because they were all so large. Also we hadn’t actually tasted that particular combination before. Perhaps we should have stuck to what we know because we found this combo somewhat insipid. The tiny pieces of cherry were relatively few and far between and the coconut, although there, did not feature strongly enough. The scone itself was fine though, still too big for our taste. No topscone here but maybe the prize for the biggest.

Dressing like Ruth Davidson

The problem with Westminster and Holyrood being on holiday is that there is nothing much to report. Witness the BBC’s interminable coverage of athletics. But wait a minute, apparently the end of the world has just got a whole lot nigher. We should report that in case any sconeys get caught unaware. With the great big ‘Goliath’ madman in Washington threatening unimaginable fire and brimstone against the wee ‘David’ madman in Pyongyang who likes dressing up like Ruth Davidson, there may not be much time left. The big question. Will Scotland manage to become an ordinary self respecting  country before armageddon? The man in the know, Alex Salmond is predicting 4 years for independence but that may be too late.

Civilizing scones

HMRC has admitted that Scotland’s economy is actually £15b bigger than they had reported … oops. The latest figures showing that England ran a massive trade deficit in 2014 and 2015 whereas Scotland had an even greater surplus in those years. Perhaps we can just squeeze in a wee bit of self respect before we are all blown to smithereens. How to avoid complete annihilation? We think that Trump and Kim Jong should sit down together over afternoon tea. The civilising influence of a good scone cannot be overestimated and the size of the Dobbies’ scones should almost match their egos!

FK9 4UF     tel: 01786 458860     Dobbies Garden Centre

BREAKING NEWS: Our Tyrolean correspondents have lodged a report on what could possibly be the first ever scones to be baked in Austria. You heard it here first! They were in Scotland for a few days and became so obsessed with scones that when they returned home they baked some of their own ‘Austrian scones’. First scones to be baked in AustriaThey look good and by all accounts were good. No information on whether Austrians go jam or cream first. But together, dear readers, we are taking scones to the world. And the world will be a better place! Many thanks C and M.

Ordinary, Scones

National Shooting Centre for Scotland

You’ve heard of shooting stars, but have you heard of shooting scones? No, let us enlighten you. As you are aware, we leave no stone unturned in our bid to bring you the latest scone news. However, the situation described in this post even surprised us. We knew that friends were involved in shooting but when they visited us, we had no idea they were competing at the European down-the-line Clay Pigeon Shooting Championships … eh?? Turns out that the venue was a shooting school half way between Falkirk and Slamannan and recently, having had a load of money spent on it, had been designated the National Shooting Centre for Scotland. Flags flying at the National Shooting Centre, Scotland

Hundreds of gunmen

Although it is only a few miles from our house (sometimes we can hear the guns if the wind is in the right direction) we were totally unaware of its new elevated status. In fact, we were pretty much unaware of anything to do with it. Out of sheer curiosity we decided to go along and see what it was all about. Imagine our surprise when we came to the end of a dirt track on the high and pretty desolate Slamannan plateau and emerged through some scrubby trees to find what must have been about seven or eight hundred folk milling around. Most of them carrying shotguns. Surreal or what? Strange for mere sconeys like us, who lead very sheltered lives and are not used to seeing guns. To see sooo many!Competitors at the National Shooting Centre, Scotland

The site is huge and the competition was in full swing with shooters shooting on numerous specially designed crescent shaped stands. Five competitors per stand each taking it in turn to shoot the ‘birds’ as they call them. The orange coloured clay pigeons.

Clay pigeon cassette at the National Shooting Centre, Scotland
Some ‘birds’ waiting to be shot
Eardrum fatigue

Although we are now conversant with all aspects of the sport,  suffice to say, at this point we didn’t have a scooby.

Scottish ladies team shooting at the National Shooting Centre, Scotland
Scottish ladies team … the ‘bird’ highlighted has only nanoseconds to live

We did know, however, with guns going off everywhere, that it was noisy … very noisy! Everyone had ear defenders on. Not so those who were simply here to eat the scones they had spied earlier in the clubhouse. Eardrum fatigue eventually drove us back in that direction.

Internal view of the National Shooting Centre, Scotland
Team strategy meeting for the Welsh in the clubhouse

 

The scones looked good but the lady who was serving was slightly wide-eyed and more than a tad frazzled. She was valiantly coping with multitudes of hungry gunmen on her own. Against all the  odds her sense of humour was still evident. Though when I asked if she had personally baked the scones. Oh, if looks could kill! To make matters worse she had to pre-load the scones using large catering packs of butter and jam. This slowed things down considerably. Perhaps it was just as well that we had decided to share a scone between us. A scone at the National Shooting Centre, ScotlandAt last we had two halves of a scone but, because our lady had been rushing, one half just had a dollop of jam in the centre. It needed spreading. But there was nothing around that bore any resemblance to a knife. Presumably, in a place with hundreds of guns, a knife might be deemed dangerous! I had to use my finger. There’s a first time for everything!

Are they mad?

The scone itself was quite good, almost finger lickin’ good. But you know our criterion for a topscone, so this one was never going to make the grade. Enjoyable enough though, especially on an wet windy day like this. What sort of people compete in a sport that involves shooting brightly coloured bits of clay in the rain? Do they have to be totally mad or just half mad? We asked a chap from the South African team. He replied curtly “you don’t have a life unless you shoot“! Are they mad? Well no more than a bunch of people trying to get a small ball into a tiny distant hole in the ground by hitting it with a stick.  Seriously though, these folks are completely dedicated and, because the level of competition is so high, extremely skilled. cartridges at the National Shooting Centre, Scotland

Berettas and Brexit

With our new found knowledge we could regale you with the differences between down-the-line, traps, skeets, over & unders, the handling properties of Brownings and Perazzis versus Berettas, and all sorts of other things you can’t even begin to imagine … however it is probably easier if we just explain the UK’s strategy for Brexit … yes, that would be much much easier because they still don’t have one! Huge thanks to A&C for letting us share this experience.

FK1 3AL     tel: 01324 851672     National Shooting Centre Scotland

UPDATES: Plastic K6 telephone boxes in Aberfoylethe couple we met on the Isle of Rùm who were making a holiday nettle cord eventually completed it and sent an update. It eventually included nettle from Camusdarach, Rùm, Arisaig and Mellon Udrigle and finished with bramble from the shores of Loch Maree … because they couldn’t find any nettles?? Our Trossachs correspondents are back in their natural habitat after their sojourn to St Kitts and Nevis and sent a picture of a K6 they spotted in Aberfoyle. Made in China we think. Many thanks to all for keeping us up to date.

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

Legends Coffee House

Our island hopping adventures have sadly come to an end and we are now back in the real world. At Legends Coffee House in Stirling to be precise. The legend referred to in the name is, of course, William Wallace, Scottish hero, general all round good guy and star of the movie Braveheart. This facility serves visitors to the Wallace Monument … it is where you start and finish your visit. Internal view of Legends Coffee House at the Wallace Monument, Stirling

Tartan stuff

You should drop in … especially if you have just completed the climb to the top of the monument. We had friends from Arizona with us. We forced them up the Abbey Craig, the hill on which the monument stands. Then the 246 steps to the top of the monument, all with the bribe of a scone. We were having to pay up. Memorabilia at the Legends Coffee House at the Wallace Monument, StirlingMost of this place is  new since we were last here and thankfully takes up the site previously occupied by a diabolical statue of Wallace. The shop is full of the usual stuff that we suspect tourists must get really fed up with after they have been round some of Scotland’s main attractions. It always seems much the same  tartan or saltire emblazoned memorabilia everywhere you go.

That said, Legends Coffee House, in spite of being quite busy, was clean, tidy and appeared well run. But, dear oh dear, our scones felt really heavy! So heavy, in fact, we thought we might have to brandish Wallace’s mighty double handed claymore to cut them in half … hopes of impressing our American friends with a good Scottish scone were fading fast. A scone at the Legends Coffee House at the Wallace Monument, StirlingAs it turned out, however, they tasted quite good and our friends were fascinated by the butter, jam and cream rituals which we don’t even think about. And at least it was all Scottish produce. All in all, it evolved into quite a good experience for everyone … but not good enough for a topscone unfortunately.

Just a blur

This monument to William Wallace is here because of his famous victory over the much larger English army at the Battle of Stirling Bridge in 1297 which helped establish Scotland as a free and independent nation. Goodness knows what he would have thought of the ‘parcel of rogues’ that, almost 400 years after his death, forced Scotland into a union with England. Even worse, that Scotland is still in it. He was hung, drawn and quartered in London. His head and body parts distributed throughout the land as a warning to any other uppity Scots. So no grave to spin in. If he had one, he would would just be a blur.

His statue looks down from its stance high on the monument at Scotland’s present day subordination and it must be thinking “what a right feckless bunch I gave my life for”!  Our friends are back on the other side of the pond now, having survived Scotland … and the scones.

Evening view of the Wallace Monument, Stirling
The Wallace Monument stands on the Abbey Craig in the evening light.

FK9 5LF    tel: 01786 472140     Legends

BREAKING NEWS. Our Middle East correspondent has just filed a report on a post box he came across in Jaffa, Tel Aviv. Readers may know Jaffa from the biblical stories about Jonah, Solomon and St Peter but more probably through cakes. The post box in question was manufactured by McDowall Steven & Co who, in 1912 took over the Laurieston Ironworks in Falkirk and made post boxes until 1958 when it closed. Jaffa was occupied in 1947 so presumably these post boxes date from then. There’s nothing quite like scones to broaden the mind.Letter box in Jaffa, made in Falkirk

 

Ordinary, Scones

Galmisdale Bay Café

Galmisdale Bay Café is, of course on the Isle of Eigg, an island we know well through having looked at it from all sorts of places on the mainland. View of the Isle of Eigg from ferry arriving at GalmisdaleOften you look out and can be confused by the jumble of small islands off the west coast but because of the unique volcanic Sgurr of Eigg this island is unmistakable. Until today though we had never set foot on it. The little ferry from Arisaig, however, changed all that … exciting. What would it be like, would they have scones?

Well, in 1858, Hugh Miller described the locals as “an active, middle-sized race, with well-developed heads, acute intellects, and singularly warm feelings” … no mention of scones but had anything else changed since then? Quite a lot actually! Having gone from a population of around 500 in the 19th century to around 50 in 1997, it has since been  rejuvenated by a community buy-out from the previous private landlord. The population now stands at 105 … split 50/50 Scottish /English with a smattering of French and Spanish.

Old tractor on the Isle of Eigg with Rum in the distance
From Cleadale looking towards Rum

We’re here for a few days and can happily report that nothing has changed in the “singularly warm feelings” department. We were greeted with open arms everywhere we went. You will have to forgive us if we post more pictures than usual. The scenery, the island, the weather, the people were all fantastic. We may even be able to persuade you to go there yourselves. Though sometimes it is not as straight forward as you might think.

Washing drying at Cleadale on the Isle of Eigg
Our washing drying in Cleadale
Rigors endured

The biggest problem is getting accomodation because everything is fully booked. Transport can also be a problem because you are not allowed to take a car. Hopefully, the extra pictures will also give you a sense of the rigors we have to endure in order to bring you scone news from such remote places. War correspondents like Orla Guerin don’t know the half of it! To get a small taste of the difficulties we have to overcome, click here. Sometimes we even had to sit staring out the window, glass in hand.

Sunset on the Isle of Eigg looking towards Rum
View from our window at 11pm

Did they have scones, we hear you cry! Yes, of course they did and they were so fresh that the cook had to make us wait until they had cooled down a bit. Don’t get fresher than that! Even when we eventually got them he said it was pointless giving us cream because it would just melt. Yet more rigors – creamless scones. We didn’t get a picture of the café interior (nothing special) because we sat out the back all the time in the sunshine watching the shipping go by. Everything from massive cruise liners to kayaks. External view of Galmisdale Café & Bar on the Isle of Eigg with a scone

The scones themselves, although undeniably fresh, just didn’t quite do it for us …  good, but not good enough for a topscone. Who cares when you can sit in such splendid surroundings. We were staying at Cleadale, about five miles from this café, at the other end of the island. There, just off Laig beach, there is a little remote church of St Donnan’s. Inside the church there is a wishing tree. You can write your wish on a paper dove and hang it from a branch.With Trump currently at the G20 Hamburg summit that wish has been slightly overtaken by events but don’t lose heart. If you ever visit you should still make a wish. In fact with Trump now running the world, the more wishes the better!

The singing sands on the Isle of Eigg
Singing Sands at Cleadale – quartz sand makes a peculiar noise when you walk on it
More of everything

Pat was making a bird list for our days away and by day two she had collected over twenty different species, including Manx Shearwaters and a Golden Eagle … happy girl! I had also managed to get a few Eigg sheds for my forthcoming coffee table companion “Sheds of Scotland”. Happy boy! Next stop the Isle of Rum, hopefully more birds, more sheds … and more scones!

PH42 4RL        tel: 01687 482487        Galmisdale Bay Café Bar

Ordinary, Scones

Onich Tearoom

We were heading north for a few days but were caught up in some sort of cycling event. For the first one hundred miles of our journey there was a cyclist every two hundred yards. With a queue of traffic waiting to overtake each one, it made for a very slow journey indeed. Having finally shaken them off at Ballachulish we thought a congratulatory scone was called for.

Onich Hotel at the Corran Ferry was our destination of choice since neither of us had ever been there in spite of having passed it many many times in days gone by. It was sconeless! The girl we spoke to, in her broken English,  only seemed to have the vaguest idea of what a scone actually was … aarrgghh! In high dudgeon we set off for Fort William but no sooner had we started than we came on this place, Onich Tearoom … just the ticket!

K4s and K6s

The eagle eyed amongst you will have immediately spotted a K6 red telephone box. It is currently used to store baby seats for the tearoom. We couldn’t get access to the manufacturer’s label but it would almost certainly have been made in Kirkintilloch.

K6 telephone box in Buenes Aires
K6 in Buenos Aires

We say “almost certainly” because our indomitable Trossachs correspondents, on return from their K6 experience in St Kitts & Nevis,  remembered a similar experience in Buenos Aires a couple of years back. What are they like? When they looked out the photos, however, they were surprised to see that it was made by the Carron Company in Falkirk and thought it might be a fake. Definitely not a fake. A few K6s were indeed made in Falkirk but the vast majority were made in Kirkintilloch. On the other hand all K4s (the ones incorporating a post box) were made in Falkirk. First to send a picture of one of these wins a prize!

Internal view of Onich tearoom with K2 souvenir telephone box
Onich tearoom with K2 souvenir telephone box
Definitive guide

To confuse things even further they had K2s for sale inside the tearoom … almost certainly all made in China. Sconey purists are probably thinking that we are getting carried away with telephone boxes rather than concentrating on the day job. Apologies but we do keep coming across them and they do raise a lot of comment. For the allaboutthescones definitive guide to telephone boxes click here. A scone at Onich Tearoom

Anyway, enough of that for the moment, back to the job in hand! We ordered two fruit scones to go with our tea. Our friendly helpful host brought them with a generous portion of jam and a pat of Irish butter. Although freshly baked that morning by his wife, we felt that there was just something missing in the taste department. Couldn’t quite put our finger on it. Enjoyable enough but no topscone!

Onich, lies on the shores of Loch Linnhe just short of Fort William and its name in Gaelic means ‘frothy bay’. At one time it was considered to be one of the prettiest villages in Scotland. On our visit however it was a wee bit dreich (raining) so we didn’t see it at its best. Old postcard of Onich village ... prettiest village in Scotland

Whose fault?

Nothing dreich about Scotland’s economy according to the latest figures. It is both bewildering and amusing to see the media’s treatment of the news that Scotland’s economy is doing four times better than the rest of the UK. And that’s after ten years of SNP government. After years of delightedly reporting that Scotland’s economy was on its knees they are still trying to spin this into a bad news story. The government’s spokesman, Rupert Murdoch, eventually resorted to saying in The Times, that it was all down to the influence of London. We hope they remember that when Scotland’s economy is not doing so well. Then, of course, it is all the Scottish government’s fault.

View from Onich Tearoom
View from Onich tearoom towards Ardgour and Ardnamurchan

PH33 6RY         tel: 01855 821230              Onich Tearoom TA