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Ordinary, Scones

The Green Door

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If May and Corbyn think they are currently treading on dangerous ground with their futile little chitchats we hope they spare a thought for us. Today, us MacDonalds are in the heart of Campbell country. Indeed, Inverary is where the chief of the Campbells, the Duke of Argyll, has his lair, Inveraray Castle.

View from Inverary with the puffer Vital Spark
View across Loch Fyne with the puffer Vital Spark of Para Handy fame in the foreground

The current Duke, Torquhil Campbell, holds other titles e.g. Lord Lorne, Marquess of Kintyre and Lorne, Earl Campbell and Cowall, Viscount Lochow and Glenyla, Lord Campbell, Admiral of the Western Coasts and Isles, Lord Inverarary, Mull, Mover and Tiry, Baron Hamilton of Hameldon, Lord Kintyre, Baron Sundridge, Baronet of Lundie, Master of the Royal Household of Scotland, to name but a few.

Thus, one man manages to embody all that is rotten in the British political system. Not his fault … it’s the system! Anyway, it would be great if we could say that’s all in the past except those titles and privileges are still very much alive and well. More are bestowed every year in order to keep the great unwashed in their place. Apart from the simply act of being born, ‘His Grace’ has done absolutely zilch to deserve any privileges whatsoever. He just inherits them but consequently he can take a seat in Parliament. And we have the cheek to complain about the EU being undemocratic?

What’s in a motto?

In the 1780s, Inveraray was largely rebuilt as a ‘new’ town and now much of it is protected by preservation orders.View of InveraryThe town’s motto is “Semper tibi pendeat halec” which, as you all very well know, translates as “may a herring always hang to thee” We suspect that this is also Jeremy Corbyn’s motto. It would explain Theresa holding her nose when in his company … or perhaps there’s some other reason! For Inveraray, the motto presumably refers to its role when the herring fishing industry was in its heyday. Still a bit weird though. Nowadays, Inveraray has many attractions and is always busy with tourists.

View of Main Street, Inverary
Looking down Main Street East

We’re just passing through and stopping off for refreshment … and maybe a scone? There are many options in Inveraray. We eventually chose The Green Door largely because it actually had a green door and a notice indicating the presence of scones. Internal view of The Green Door Café, InveraryInside it is quite small but full of stuff so has a slightly cluttered appearance. We were very warmly welcomed however and managed to get a table tucked away in a corner at the end of the counter. A scone at The Green Door Café, InveraryThey didn’t have cream however our scone was pleasant enough and came with plenty butter and jam. It was interesting just sitting there watching the constant coming and going in this busy little place.

Brexit sympathy

As we often say, in places like this, Brexit seems a long way away.  Since all the staff here seemed to be local perhaps the effects might not be too drastic for The Green Door. We are actually feeling really sorry for the EU now. They don’t deserve all this British nonsense. We are almost wishing for a hard Brexit just to save the EU from further hassle. Even if Brexit was cancelled tomorrow, it would take the UK a long time to repair the damage done.

Eventually we reluctantly took our leave of lovely Inveraray and continued on our way. Fortunately, no one had spotted any MacDonalds … phew!

PA32 8UY         tel: 01499 302722          Green Door

///changed.coverings.dustbin

ps: we are indebted to our Aussie Bathurst correspondents who have taken to telephone box spotting while in Scotland.  It has breathed new meaning into their lives. They sent us this photo of an operational Saracen Foundry K6 in Peat Inn, Fife. Many thanks J & A.Saracen foundry K6 in Peat Inn, Fife

Ordinary, Scones

Café Ecosse

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 “Hands up anyone who has the slightest inkling of what is going on in British politics.” After yet another farce in the House of Commons last night that would be a perfectly valid question to ask. “No, Theresa, put your hand down”.

Let us have a go at defining ‘farce’. The British people, voted to leave the EU. We disagree fundamentally but recognise it as a simple straight forward instruction – ‘leave, no deal’! The fact that they did so on the basis of fairy tales and lies is beside the point. However, almost all our politicians, including the PM, are promising to “deliver on that instruction from the British people” while, simultaneously, ruling out ‘no deal’. That’s the farce … all ‘deals’ are contrary to what the people voted for. And just when you thought it couldn’t get any more farcical Theresa May announces, after all this time, that she is willing to speak to the opposition? Whatever next?

What’s in a name?

Today we are in the town of Invernevis .. or at least, that’s what it will most likely be called once Scotland gets its independence from ‘the farce’. Currently it’s called Fort William. Originally it got its name from William of Orange who built it in order to control the locals. It was then renamed Gordonsburgh, then Duncansburgh before eventually reverting to Fort William. However, this time the ‘William’ bit was after Prince William, Duke of Cumberland otherwise  known fondly by Scots as “Butcher Cumberland”. Hopefully, when Scotland becomes independent it will rid itself of the name along with all other remnants of colonialism. Invernevis sounds good to us.

Internal view of Café Ecosse, Fort WilliamThe second largest town in the Highlands after Inverness it sits at the foot of Ben Nevis, the UK’s highest hill. It therefore has it’s own weather system as the rain clouds sweep in from the Atlantic. Annual rainfall is three times that of Edinburgh. It rains a lot and today is no exception. It also sits at the northern end of the West Highland Way and the southern end of the Great Glen Way so there are always a lot of wet walkers around. This place, Café Ecosse, is just the sort of place you might find them … it’s pretty basic. Nothing wrong with that as long as the scones are good!

Rescued hat

We were served by a young lady of indeterminate A scone at Café Ecosse, Fort Williameastern european origin who seemed to be running the place single handedly. They have a very elaborate customer service notice on every table which we felt was a bit OTT. We didn’t bother using it because the list of things in need of improvement would have been too long. We had a couple of sandwiches which were okay then we shared a scone. No cream but with plenty A notice at Café Ecosse, Fort Williamof fruit, it was okay  … no topscone but okay. At least we were in out of the rain. When we left Café Ecosse the rain had gone off and the young lady  who had provide our scone came running after us with my hat. I think Pat wished she hadn’t bothered. There’s nothing wrong with my hat so at least I was grateful!

Beira

Let us tell you about Beira, mother of all gods and goddesses. She was a giantess who had blue skin, rust coloured teeth and one eye. Hand down Theresa!! Beira built Scotland’s mountains with a magic hammer and when her maid Nessa was naughty she transformed her into a river which eventually formed Loch Ness. Ben Nevis was Beira’s mountain throne. Now, if you think this might be a little far fetched, can we refer you back to ‘the farce’ at the beginning of this post. Beira, suddenly seems quite plausible.

PH33 6AT                   tel: 01397 705751               EcosseFB     

 ///obeyed.spurring.revised

Ordinary, Scones

Callanish Stones

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Apologies for the plethora of scones winging your way of late. It’s what happens when we are in virgin territory. A new scone opportunity at every turn. Bear with us, normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.

Today we are venturing further afield onto the Isle of Lewis … another first for us. There is always something exciting about being somewhere for the first time, especially when it’s in your own country. Having spent much of our lives exploring Scotland, sometimes we feel we have barely scratched the surface.

Attractions

To get to Lewis you have to drive through some spectacular scenery on North Harris. Lots of big hills and some  massive white tailed eagles. Pat’s a happy bunny. Once beyond the hills, however, you emerge into a great flatness which is characteristic of Lewis. Vast vistas of open moorland and lochs with sprinklings of houses. We passed Uig Bay where the 12th century Lewis chessmen were dug up on the beach in 1831. Just why these artifacts are displayed in London and Edinburgh is beyond us. Both cities need additional attractions like a hole in the head but the Chessmen would be a fantastic draw, here where they were actually discovered.The Callanish Stones on the Isle of Lewis

Attempts at time travel

Anyway, before long we arrived here at the world famous Callanish Stones. We think these would be displayed in London as well if they weren’t so damned awkward to transport. There are stone circles all over the place in this locality but Callanish is the biggest and best known. Dating from around 5000BC and sometimes known as the “Stonehenge of the North”  they predate Stonehenge by 2000years. Pat tried to imitate Outlander’s Claire Fraser by gently leaning against the largest stone …  she’s still here.

External view of the visitor centre at teh Callanish Stones on the Isle of Lewis
Callanish Visitor Centre

The stones used to be much smaller, or rather their true height wasn’t discovered until 1857 when 1.5 metres of peat was cleared away. Some think that they formed a lunar observatory but we prefer the story about them being petrified giants who refused to convert to Christianity. Another story is that, on midsummer morning, when the cuckoo calls, the “Shining One” walks the length of the avenue leading to the circle. Petrified giants and Shining Ones … the temptation to find analogies with modern day politics is almost overwhelming. However we will leave that to your own imaginations. Pat didn’t see any cuckoos!

The quest continues

Internal view of the visitor centre at teh Callanish Stones on the Isle of LewisThankfully they have a Visitor Centre to provide scones and shelter from the wind. The Centre tells the story of the stones even though no one actually knows anything about them. It is all just guess work. Arrgghh, the temptation to find analogies with Brexit!The cafe is nicely set up and must be a huge boon for the localA scone at the visitor centre at the Callanish Stones on the Isle of Lewiss of Callanish and the surrounding area. There was no cream however our scones were very good indeed. In the end, however, we decided they were not quite topscones. Our quest for a Hebridean topscone continues.

Ridiculous strictures

When we left Callanish we continued on to Port of Ness, the most northerly point on Lewis. End of the road at Port of Ness on the Isle of LewisWe knew we had reached the end of the road when we came on this sign. This is strict Free Church of Scotland territory … nothing but nothing happens here on a Sunday. We met a chap on Harris who told us that if you hang out a washing on the Sabbath you get a visit from men in black hats and black suits who will order you to take the washing in. They are members of the Lord’s Day Observance Society. He added, with a telling glint in his eye “I can’t wait for them to come to my door”. We wondered how much more advanced this whole island would be without these ridiculous strictures.

A fantastic part of the world and one that won’t be greatly affected by the shenanigans at Westminster. Theresa’s attempt to take on the Shining One’s mantle by promising the petrified that she will take herself off to a field of wheat somewhere if they let her have her way on Brexit, won’t cause a stir up here. As long as she doesn’t do it on a Sunday. All this because as she says “that is what the country wants!” No, it isn’t Theresa but don’t let that stop you going.

HS2 9DY       tel: 01851 621422          Callanish

ps: we also came across this K6 in Port of Ness which must rank as the most north westerly in the UK. A K6 telephone box at Port of Ness on the Isle of LewisIt wasn’t operational … someone might use it on a Sunday for goodness sake. It was however made in Falkirk.

island, Ordinary, Scones

Harris Hotel

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We landed safely at Tarbert on the Isle of Harris after a relatively uneventful voyage. Many years ago I did a similar crossing from Lochmaddy to Uig and was incredibly sea sick. Thankfully all the ships nowadays are fitted with stabilisers making for much smoother crossings. This was to be our first visit to this part of the Outer Hebrides so we were like excited children.

One of many beaches on the Isle of Harris
One of many beaches

Our first day was spent driving round South Harris to places like Rodel and Leverburgh. If Pat was hoping that we had left hair raising roads behind on Raasay she was to be disappointed. Nearly all the roads here are single track and they wind up and down and round about in dizzying fashion. However, if like us you are in no rush it can make for very pleasant driving. You just pull in and let any traffic past. We hardly had any traffic though in the warmer months it might be a different story. By way of compensation for Pat there were golden eagles everywhere. “It’s just a golden eagle” was often the reposte to my “what’s that?”

External view of the Mission House Studio, Finsbay, Isle of HarrisThere are lots of galleries and craft places here and some were actually open. This one, the Mission House Studio at Finsbay was fabulous. It’s run by Beka (fine art photographer) and Nickolai Globe (ceramic artist). Their stuff was so good we actually parted with some cash! Yes, that good!!

Ruling classes

When we got back to Tarbert where we were staying, the Harris Hotel was just a couple of hunderd yards down the road. Would they have scones? It’s a very pleasant place built in 1865 by the Earl of Dunmore. We thought it was interesting to look at past owners. Obviously there was the original Earl followed by Sir Edward Scott, followed by Lord Leverhulme, followed by Sir Tom Sopworth and then Lord Brockett. Do you notice a theme running through these names? All from the tax avoiding ruling classes. Placards from the London Revoke Article 50 marchWe are grateful to our Ballachulish correspondent who sent us pictures of some creative placards from the recent anti-Brexit march in London.  One million people attended. They certainly sum up how we feel and emphasis the point that toffs really are terribly terribly unsuited to government … golly gosh, yes!

Today the headlines read “MPs seize control!” which makes us think “the lunatics have taken over the asylum!“. Every time we think it can’t get any worse, it does. Let’s hope those one million marchers have some effect.

Doubts creep in

Nowadays they are not at all fussy who they let into the hotel … our presence being proof of exactly that. Warmly welcomed, we were still recovering from the worst of the effects of the fresh air when a couple of warm scones were placA scone at the Harris Hotel on the Isle of Harrised in front of us. Just sitting there looking out over the gardens was pleasant enough in itself and our lovely scones did nothing to detract from the cosy illusion that all was well with the world. Not topscones but we thoroughly enjoyed them nevertheless. Some time back, when we were on the Orkneys, after a run of topscones, we developed a theory that the further north you went the better the scones got. We are starting to have doubts. None so far on this trip.

Vandals

In one of the corridors they have a display case containing an old window from the hotel’s dining room. It’s there because in 1912, J M Barrie of Peter Pan fame scratched his initials in the glass. Must have been a fashionable thing to do at one time. He joins a list of illustrious artistes like Robert Burns who vandalised windows all over the place.

Honesty

We are letting you see this picture of Croft 36 because, for us, it seeSelf service restaurant on the Isle of Harrismed to sum up life on the Isle of Harris. It’s a café shack at the side of a little road on South Harris near Northton.  Inside there’s a cauldron of scotch broth, hot pies and quiches, patisserie style baking including scones … and a price list. You just help yourself to whatever takes your fancy. There’s no one there, just an honesty box .. fantastic. In hindsight we should have bought some scones but they only came in packets of four so we didn’t. Stupid, they might have been topscones!A view over the Isle of Harris

HS3 3DL          tel: 01859 502154           Harris

K6 telephone box at Finsbay on the Isle of Harrisps: Telephone boxes in this part of the world seem to be located either in people’s gardens or other places difficult to get to. Perhaps it’s testament to the strength of the winds they get up here that this one at Finsbay had lost its door. It wasn’t operational but it had been manufactured at the Saracen foundry in Glasgow.

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Isle of Raasay Distillery

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Following on from our last post from the Mission Café in Mallaig we made it across the sea to Skye but with little time to spare. As soon as we landed at Armadale we had to drive directly to Sconsor to catch another ferry to the Isle of Raasay. Phew! This sconing stuff can be frantic. Actually there were several reasons other than scones for wanting to visit the island. They involve sheds and eagles and roads and things but we won’t go into that. Suffice to say that after a relatively short crossing we set foot on Raasay for the first time .. fantastic!

Needs must

There’s not a lot of accommodation on Raasay so we were having to stay in the distillery. We know, we know, the things we have to do to keep you sconeys up to date! We reckoned we could put up with it for a few days at least.

View from the distillery, Isle of Raasay
View from the distillery towards the Cuillins of Skye with the ferry approaching

It has only been open a couple of years so it’s the first distillery on the island … or as they point out, the first legal distillery. It is very modern in design though we were staying in the old Victorian part. Even it had been modernised to within an inch of it’s life and had all mod cons. It was extremely comfortable. Thank goodness, this made the whole idea of staying in a distillery, bearable at least. We won’t bore you with details because whisky is not what we are about. We are all about scones! Suffice to say, at night they lock the door leading from our living quarters to the distillery?

External view of Raasay House, Isle of RaasayWhen it came to scones, however, we actually had to make the perilous one minute walk through the daffodils to Raasay House. In the 1500s this was the seat of the all powerful MacLeods however after the Battle of Culloden the original house was burned to the ground. It was rebuilt and in 1773, MacLeod of Raasay played host to Dr Johnston and James Boswell on their epic journey through the Highlands. Johnston wrote of his welcome on Raasay “After the usual refreshments, and the usual conversation, the evening came upon us. The carpet was then rolled off the floor; the musician was called, and the whole company was invited to dance, nor did ever fairies trip with greater alacrity.”

Calum’s Road

Today it was playing host to us but earlier in the day, we had been on our own epic journey … across Calum’s Road. It is named after the man who single handedly, over a period of ten years, built the entire road.

View of Calum's Road, Isle of Raasay
the start of Calum’s road with his old wheelbarrow still lying there

Calum MacLeod was made a stern stuff. As the local lighthouse keeper he had been campaigning for years to have the footpath that led to his home in Arnish in the north of the island upgraded to a road. Having no luck with officialdom he just decided to do it himself. Aided by a book of DIY road building.

View of Calum's Road, Isle of Raasay
when we saw this sign we should have known that if this road was in Blackpool you would have to pay for the white knuckle ride

Over  a ten year period he completed the two mile route to Brochel Castle where it could join the existing road. In 1974 it was eventually adopted and surfaced by the local council.

View of Brochel Castle ruins, Isle of Raasay
Remains of Brochel Castle. Until 1671 the MacLeods used it to command the Sound of Raasay

Four people now live in Arnish and two of them work in the distillery. What a commute they have to work! We drove for two hours, sometimes reaching an electrifying 10mph where lack of potholes and road surface permitted … and never saw another car. Besides keeping a lighthouse and building roads, Calum was also a poet and a songwriter. It would have been great to have met him at the end of his road however he died some years back.

Epic

By the time we had completed this epic and sometimes hair-raising trip it was most definitely scone o’clock! As we took our seats looking out towards the Cuillins of Skye we were ready for an epic scone. Our scones arrived very promptly and came with butter, jam and the now infamous Rodda’s Cornish Cream. What the …? Not a great start and the scones just turned out to be kind of soft  and somewhat lacking in character. The coffee and everything else was great so it was a shame. No topscone but ten out of ten for location.

Out of touch

When we are away like this we tend to not keep up with the news. Sometimes it’s because we don’t have time and sometimes it’s because there’s no internet or telephone services. Hopefully at some point we will be informed that Brexit’s Article 50 has been revoked and it was all just a bad dream. Or should we just stay here in blissful ignorance?

IV40 8PB             tel: 01478 470178          Raasay Distillery

IV40 8PB             tel: 01478 660300           Raasay House

Two K6 telephone boxes at Inverarish, Isle of Raasayps: these two K6s were in Inverarish the capital of Raasay. The village was built in 1914 to house miners for the iron mines used  to fuel the war effort. It was abandoned in 1918 when the war ended but it now houses most of the 180 inhabitants of the island. These K6s were in perfect working order … made in Falkirk, of course. Would they have been made from iron ore mined on Raasay?

parking nightmare in Inverarish

 

Ordinary, Scones

The Mission Café

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When we left the rather swish environs of the Loch Melfort Hotel we drove to Mallaig. It was difficult not to stop at all the fabulous white beaches along the way but we had a ferry to catch. We were heading for the boat to Armadale on the Isle of Skye. Arriving, however, with time to spare we were left clicking our heels for an hour. A scone perhaps?

Internal view of the Mission Café in MallaigAs you can see the Mission Café has a fairly austere exterior and it’s not much different inside. It’s a no nonsense sort of place run by the Fisherman’s Mission, a charity that provides valuable help to fisherman and their families in time of need. A scone at the Mission Café in MallaigMallaig, of course, is famous for its kippers and is a no nonsense kind of place as well. If you walked in here wearing wellies, oilskins, a souwester and herring sticking out of your pockets, no one would bat an eyelid. Service was fine, if a little on the no nonsense side. Our scone came with lots of jam and cream. It wasn’t at all bad … not a topscone but enjoyable enough. Just enough time to finish them off before we had to get on the ferry and head “over the sea to Skye”.

Some of those can be so severe they almost leave the person find out description cheap levitra dysfunctional. Penile erection is in fact a specific hemodynamic process initiated by the relaxation of the smooth muscle in the base of the penile shaft allowing more blood to flow into the sex organs during sexual activity resulting in stronger and harder erection for a longer duration of time. buy levitra in usa It has caused a wave of dilemma amongst the male population of the world. on line cialis However, taking Kamagra in small doses and as recommended by your free samples of levitra doctor. We suspect that our UK government could benefit from a spell in Mallaig. No faffing about here, they just get on with the job no matter what!

PH41 4PY           tel: 01687 460105     The Mission

Ordinary, Scones

Loch Melfort Hotel

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Politically, things have been so dire recently that we have been reluctant to venture out for a scone. Not because we had gone off scones, you understand, but because it would then require us to say something cogent about the current situation at Westmonster. A veritable impossibility. How is it possible to end up in a situation where the government is the most diabolically pathetic ever in the history of governments and the opposition, which is supposed to save us from such things, is even worse? Unbelievable!

We have had to break our silence, however, because believe it or not, this is our 300th scone. And still, if we turn sideways, you can barely see us. It’s truly amazing. In 2015 when we wrote our first scone post in Dunkeld, we certainly did not expect that exactly four years later we would still be at it.

View from Loch Melfort Hotel
View from our window
Stats

A lot has happened in those four years on allaboutthescones. We have mentioned Brexit 78 times. Not surprising you might think but remember, back then, the word Brexit hadn’t even been thought of. Trump hadn’t been thought of either, at least not seriously, but he managed to get himself mentioned 53 times. Theresa May only managed 43! In terms of scones we have had 76 topscones and 2 apple pies. Fonab Castle has maintained its position on top of the scone pile throughout. An extraordinary achievement by any standards.

Would our 300th provide a fitting crescendo? Where would it be?Internal view of Loch Melfort HotelSerendipity dictated that it would be here at Loch Melfort Hotel. A lovely spot if ever there was one. It’s situated in Arduaine Gardens which in themselves are reminiscent of a tropical rain forest. The North Atlantic Drift, sweeping up from the Caribbean, has a profound affect in this part of the world. Palm trees and bamboo abound. Lichen grows in huge tresses from all the trees indicating the purity of the air. The hotel used to be the ‘big house’ of the estate but when the gardens were taken over by the National Trust for Scotland it was converted to its current use. Anyway, so what about this 300th scone?

The wrong reasons

We were fortunate to be able to sit in glorious sunshine in one of the hotal lounges looking out towards Croabh Haven and the Isle of Luing. As far as settings went this was absolutely perfect. The A scone at Loch Melfort Hotelscone itself came nicely presented with plenty of jam and whipped cream. Unfortunately, that was the good bit. The scone had a sort of leathery skin the like of which we have never come across before. Once it had been penetrated with a knife the innards were nothing to get excited about either. This 300th scone was notable for all the wrong reasons. The jam and cream made it sort of edible however. Quelle dommage! Everything else was fantastic so it was really unfortunate that the scone let the place down so badly. Heyho, life goes on! View from Loch Melfort Hotel

Democracy

Life may not be going on much longer for Theresa May. The Speaker of the House of Commons, dastardly chap that he is, has gone and foiled her wicked plan to run down the clock on Brexit. Isn’t it odd that the folk who scream about democracy having to be respected are so dead set against democracy taking its course in another referendum? Anyway we still have a few days left before the cliff edge. It has been nice knowing you all!

PA34 4XG             tel: 01852 200 233           Melfort Hotel

ps: In the nearby village of Melfort we came across this K6 telephone box. It was manufactured by the Saracen Foundry in Glasgow and was the first box we have come across functioning as a prison. A padlock on the door was ensuring that the large gnome inside was prevented from escaping. We have no idea what misdemeanour the gnome had committed to deserve such a fate. Explanations on a postcard please.A K6 telephone box at Melfort

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Centurion Bar

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Here we are still in Newcastle. Except this time we are at the station waiting for the train to whisk us back home. It is one of Britain’s busiest stations with a half hourly service to London and others going west to Liverpool and north to Edinburgh and Inverness. It was opened by Queen Victoria in 1850 and is now one of very few Grade One listed railway stations. With almost an hour to wait we found ourselves in the Centurion bar of The Royal Station Hotel. Internal view of the Station Hotel in NewcastleIt’s not just any old bar. It’s a very spacious and grand hall which used to be the First Class Lounge. It was decked out with flags for the Six Nations Rugby Championships. We decided to sit under the nice blue one on the right.

Internal view of the Station Hotel in Newcastle
Nirvana

The name, Centurion’ suggests a Roman connection and, of course, there is. What was it with the Romans? They came all this way to build tourist attractions? In the year 122, Emperor Hadrian built his wall right through Newcastle to end up at, would you believe it, Wallsend in the east of the city. No sooner was it finished than Emperor Antoninus Pius decided, in 142, to build another wall further north. It ran across the entire breadth of Scotland and through the middle of our home town, Falkirk. Trump and the Romans would have got on just fine. Some historians insist that the reason for building these walls was to keep unruly Scots at bay. However we like to think that they just enjoyed life in Falkirk so much they decided there was little point in going further. They had reached nirvana.

Before long, however, the hedonism and feasting on scones served with Rodda’s Cornish Cream drove them back to Hadrian’s Wall where that sort of behaviour seemed more appropriate. Nowadays the remains of Antonine’s Wall can still be seen in Falkirk but apart from the Roman Bar and a few Italian restaurants there are few signs that the Romans were ever around. Both walls, however, still serve very well in their primary function as tourist attractions. The Hadrian’s Wall Path passes close to this station.

More than expected

Enough about Romans, what about the scones? Yes we decided to have a scone but A scone at the Station Hotel in Newcastlelittle did we know that every hot drink ordered came with a complimentary croissant. When our scone arrived it was accompanied with butter, jam and a croissant … too much!! Had we realised we might have asked them to keep the croissant and give us a free scone. And had we not had to pay for the scone it might have fared better in our review. It was okay but definitely not a topscone.

Despicable us

In the end even Newcastle was too much for the Romans. At least, when their Empire collapsed they all just went back to Italy and that was that. Not so with the British Empire. Almost every trouble spot around the globe was designed by us. Iraq and Afghanistan to Palestine and Ireland as well as the current problem between India and Pakistan. All the result of British meddling. When it comes to creating a political mess we do it fantastically well and now with Brexit we can bring that expertise to bear at home as well! Whoopee!

Thankfully, this week, the United Nations highest court in the Hague has ruled against us in what must be one of Britain’s most despicable acts. They have ruled that Britain’s 1968 claim to sovereignty over the Chagos Islands is illegal and they must be returned to Mauritius immediately. Surely you have seen this news splashed all over the media? No? Hopefully, after more than fifty years, all these poor displaced people will be able to return to their homes. What this means for the US military base at Diego Garcia (it was the reason for this crime) no one knows.

We do think, however, that Scotland should raise a similar action against the UK at the Hague … for the travesty of 1707!

Pleasant as it was sitting in the Centurion, the train came and we were duly whisked back to nirvana.

NE1 5DG            tel: 0191 261 6611              Centurion

Ordinary, Scones

Glencoe Café

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Old Mrs MacDonald had just prepared a fresh batch of scones.

“Would you be wanting one, Duncan?” she asked the fresh faced young lad who had been lodging with her for the past two weeks. In the fading February light there was just the gentle flicker of the open fire where the scones had been baked. They were still sitting there keeping warm.

“Would you like cream with the butter and jam, Duncan?”

“That would be grand Mrs Mac, there’s nothing like a freshly baked scone. I like them crunchy on the outside and nice and soft in the middle”, Duncan replied.

“Funny, that’s how I like them as well” said Mrs MacDonald in her soft highland accent.  She looked fondly on the youngster in the warm glow.

Highland hospitality

As part of the government forces made up mostly from clan Campbell, Duncan had been sent to Glencoe from Invergarry. You may remember us referring to their leader in our post on the Glen Lyon Tearoom. For some time now the Campbells had been enjoying the MacDonald’s scones. Little did Mrs MacDonald realise that later that same night, the signal would be given and she would be brutally murdered in her bed by the very same scone munching Duncan. This scenario was being played out in every house. The village was burned and the livestock taken. The Massacre of Glencoe in 1692 has thus become synonymous with betrayal. Even worse, a betrayal of highland hospitality … unthinkable!.

Internal view of Glencoe CaféClan of choice

The whole sorry affair came about because the MacDonald’s chieftain had been a day late in bending the knee to King William III of England. Perhaps better known as William of Orange, or in some parts, King Billy! Truth be told the MacDonalds of Glencoe, along with the MacGregors, did not have glowing reputations. Both clans were generally regarded by the authorities as outlaws and general ne’er-do-wells. It was the MacDonalds of Glencoe, however, who were to be slaughtered as a warning to other Scots who might get ideas.

Long memories

Nowadays, even though the local hotel has a sign at reception reading “No Hawkers or Campbells”, that’s all in the past. Although we ourselves are MacDonalds, it’s my middle name for goodness sake, we harbour no ill feeling. Having said that we have never knowingly spoken to a Campbell or eaten with one or willingly been in the company of one. Sharing a scone with one??? We jest … a little!

Internal view of Glencoe CaféThe dancing!

Anyway, all this is to simply give you a little background knowledge because today we are at the Glencoe Café. It wasn’t here in 1692 but if it had, it would have been burned to the ground. Last time we were in the area was only a few weeks back. A spot of hedonistic pampering at The Glencoe House Hotel. We explained  that Glencoe was our weekend destination of choice when we used to do Spiderman impersonations on the sheer rock faces of Aonach Dubh.  No, we didn’t do the outfit!

That wasn’t yesterday, however ‘the Coe’ still retains many happy memories for us both. Saturday night dances in the village hall were the stuff of legend. Much has changed in the intervening years however we think this café is built where the old village hall used to be. The big question was, would their scones be as good as the ones Mrs MacDonald gave to that Campbell fella?

Alan and Deirdre Copeland run the café and the gift shop with great enthusiasm. This is February and the café was full to overflowing . Goodness knows what it’s like when the place is buzzing with tourists in the summer months? We were seated next to three Brazilians who wanted to know where to go for a walk … eh? Just look out the window, you can walk anywhere! They were lovely people though who lived in Glasgow. They were on a day trip so didn’t have oodles of time. We pointed them towards Glencoe Lochan so we hope they got there and enjoyed it.

Egg timers?

All the Copeland’s tea is loose leaf and it’s served in glass teapots with internal diffusers and an egg timer … eh, again? It’s so you know when your tea is sufficiently infused … obviously! The scones are freshly baked every day and come with plentyA scone at Glencoe Café jam and cream.  All in all this is a friendly unpretentious place which is exactly what you would expect in this part of the world. We thoroughly enjoyed everything about it even though our scones didn’t quite make the grade.

Trust in short supply

Given the episode between the MacDonalds and the Campbells can anyone be really trusted? Donald Trump insists he has an emergency on his hands and needs ‘special powers’ to build The Wall. No one else can see the emergency so we guess it just has to taken on trust. Theresa May insists she is not running down the clock on Brexit. No one else sees that either so we guess it just has to be taken on trust. That’s a whole lot of trust.

School children all over the world are going on strike. They don’t have enough trust in their politicians to act on climate change. It’s not as if the world is running out of trust. It’s not a finite resource like gold or oil. It can be generated in endless amounts but, these days, it seems like a very scarce resource indeed.

Jeremy Corbyn must be thinking that as well with the seven MPs defecting from his Labour Party. He must be counting his blessings it’s only seven … ooops there goes another one, that’s eight! The surprise is that he’s surprised. The world is not devoid of trust though. The Conservative government has learned to trust Corbyn’s Abstaining Party to bail them out of whatever trouble in which they find themselves. Ooops there go another three, Tories this time. It’s difficult to keep up. Ooops there goes another Labour one! Where will it all end? What would old Mrs MacDonald have made of it all? Thank goodness we can trust Theresa to sort out Brexit?

In Syria, as jihadi bride or daft lassie, Shamima Begum has her passport revoked we’re tempted to ask “What about the Campbell’s passports?” But we won’t. That’s all in the past after all!

PH49 4HP               tel: 01855 811168               Glencoecafe

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

The Courtyard Coffee House

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Once again we are in Callander visiting an elderly relative. Once again, after a visit to the Outdoor Shop we were peckish. We wandered across the street to this place thinking we might get a scone. Crikey, it’s a strange place! Not even a name above the door! We swithered and thought perhaps we should go to Applejacks, directly opposite. We had already reviewed Applejacks and knew it to be good but our dedication to sconological research took over. In we went!

Pavement billboard at the Courtyard Coffee House in CallanderNot only was there no name above the door, it had an estate agent’s ‘For Sale’ sign outside. However, no presence on the estate agents website. We looked!  In fact it doesn’t appear to have a presence of any kind on the internet. No website, no FaceBook, no Tripadviser? The only way we  discovered its name was on the pavement billboard outside.

So, it kind of had a name … hurrah! As well as a name it had scones, fruit and plain … hurrah again! Who cares about all that other stuff. The strangeness continued, however. It was self service and the staff were very friendly but we had to pay up front before they brought our order and it was cash only. All a wee bit surreal.

Internal view of the Courtyard Coffee House in Callander

Scone assistance

When our scones arrived the lady explained that she had already cut them in half for us because they were so light and crumbly. She hoped we would manage them without further assistance. Her concern was not entirely misplaced. The scones were incredibly light and full of currants, sultanas and cherries. A scone at the Courtyard Coffee House in CallanderThey were indeed quite difficult to manage. When you lifted them they just crumbled and fell back to the plate. You had to scoop them up and tip them into your mouth in a slightly undignified fashion. They were delicious, however, and the crystallised sugar topping gave them a delightful sweet crunchiness. All things considered, however, this was no topscone.

There is no point in giving you contact details for this place because there aren’t any. Unless we were involved in some sort of Brigadoon experience, all we can say is that it was there. It wasn’t just a figment of our over active imaginations. However it may not be there tomorrow or next week so if you fancy a really crumbly but delicious scone you had maybe better get your skates on.

Fashion

Talking of ethereal things like Brigadoon, we were saddened by the news that Karl Lagerfeld has died. Unlikely as it may seem, our family is steeped in the fashion industry. Brands like Alexander McQueen and Jimmy Choo owe much to our family. Okay, maybe not that much but definitely a bit! Fashion, frivolous and transient as it may be, adds much to our lives and Lagerfeld, somehow, symbolised it perfectly. After all. few would like to be uniformly dressed by Chairman Mao, extinguishing all sense of individuality. Lagerfeld epitomised the frippery of fashion but also had wise words. He once said. “When people talk about the good old days, I say to people, ‘It’s not the days that are old, it’s you that’s old.’ I hate the good old days. What is important is that today is good.”  Perhaps he should have been running the country instead of Chanel.

Anyway, the Courtyard Coffee House was there … honest!