Category Archives: Ordinary

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Ordinary, Scones, weird

Hideaway Cafe at Beecraigs

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There has been a lot of migration from central and eastern Europe. Thousands of people coming to the UK in what seems to be an totally uncontrolled manner. You may think we are talking about relatively recent times but we’re not. We’re talking about 4,500 years ago. There was mass migration back then when thousands of what we now know as Beaker People moved west. They were called Beakers because they were always buried with their rather elegant bell-shaped clay drinking vessels. When they reached Scotland some of them settled around Cairnpapple Hill where there is still a very well preserved Beaker burial chamber.  It is only a stones throw from where we are today at the Hideaway Café at Beecraigs Country Park.Logo of the Hideaway Café at Beecraigs Country Park

Descendants

So, although folk go on endlessly about mass migrations into Britain, it is absolutely nothing new. In fact, when it comes down to it, hardly any of us are from here originally. We are all migrants in one form or another. Judging by our fondness for using drinking vessels, Pat and I may even be direct descendants of the Beaker people. At the end of the day, as they say here in Scotland – we’re a’ Jock Tamson’s Bairns.

Photo of Beecraigs loch in late November
Beecraigs loch

We had decided to take a walk round the loch at Beecraigs. It used to be regular occurrence when the kids were small but we haven’t been back for many years. The loch is actually a reservoir built by German Prisoners of War during WW1. Apparently the German work ethic was nothing like it is nowadays. Work progressed at a snail’s pace until it had to be finished off in 1918 by conscientious objectors. It’s a beautiful walk, however, and it was really nice to relive memories from the past. The walk seemed much shorter than we recalled. Then we remembered, this time we weren’t trying to herd feral children. We didn’t have to stop and investigate every stick and toadstool along the way.

View from Beecraigs Country Park
View from Beecraigs with the Forth bridges in the distance

One of these children actually got married here several years ago and, with its expansive views, it provided a wonderful setting. No weddings today though, it has all changed. The space previously used for weddings is now filled with displays for the visitor centre explaining the local flora and fauna. However, now they have the Hideaway Café … and scones!

Buzzing

The only problem was that the Hideaway was not living up to its name. It had been found and was so busy we couldn’t get in. However, they gave us a pager and told us to go off and wander arouInternal view of the Hideaway Café at Beecraigs Country Parknd the exhibits and when a table became available they would buzz us … brilliant. It worked! Within ten minutes we had our table and were able to order some lunch and a banana and white chocolate scone to share. They had plain and fruit scones however we always feel that we should report on the exotica we come across so that readers can continue to expand their knowledge base.

A scone at the Hideaway Café at Beecraigs Country ParkEverything was good, the service was happy and efficient, the food was fine and even the scone was pleasant enough. No topscone unfortunately. Don’t be put off by banana and white chocolate scones … but don’t deliberately seek them out either. Fruit or plain is a better bet.

Flashbacks

Memories are funny things. We have many happy memories of this place. Our family wedding event was superb but it is difficult to imagine it happening now that the venue has undergone so many changes. Yet we still got little flashbacks of that day as we looked around. Memories can play tricks! Apparently the Queen is claiming that the Duke of York is her son however he has no recollection of ever having met her. Boris doesn’t remember ever telling a lie for goodness sake! That’s how tricky it can get!Photo of Beecraigs loch in late November

EH49 6PL        tel: 01506 847111      Hideaway Beecraigs

///corrects.blushed.photocopy

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

Morrisons Café

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Back to reality. Our previous post from the Scotch Tea House on the French Riviera  seems like a distant fond memory as now we are in a supermarket in Falkirk … Morrisons Café to be precise. A bit of a come down. There is a perfectly logical explanation however.

You may remember that last year when we were at the Scotsman Grand Café we had a mini five year old person with us. She kept us amused with her weird and wonderful observations through all the problems we were having just ordering a scone. This time, on our return from France, we picked her up in London and brought her and her wee sister back to Scotland with us. Of course, she is six now and and her sister is four. Oh joy! Between them they have enough energy to light up Blackpool!

Scary!

As it’s Halloween, we needed some appropriate costumes so that we could go guising and scare the living daylights out of our friends and neighbours. Hence we found ourselves here in Morrisons buying two spider witch outfits … really scary! The real horror of Halloween is, of course, that Brexit hasn’t happened and Boris Johnson hasn’t died in a ditch as he promised. Guess we can just add that to his ever lengthening string of broken promises. It really is all just a game for these guys!Internal view of Morrisons supermarket, Falkirk

Anyway, having got suitably kitted out we decided to go for a cuppa and some lunch in the café. A scone at Morrisons supermarket, FalkirkIt’s probably fairly typical of supermarket cafés though maybe slightly better than some others we have been in. What it lacks in ambience it makes up for with low prices and edible food. We were surprised to find scones so, of course, they had to be sampled. We shouldn’t really have preconceived ideas about places but suffice to say, we do. Expectations were not exactly soaring. They came with lots of butter and jam, however, cream was too much of an ask. The scones themselves were actually quite nice … nice texture, lots of fruit and only £1 each.  Even at this price, however, a topscone was also too much of an ask.
Old photo of Brockville foorball ground at Morrisons supermarket, FalkirkThis supermarket is built on a site once occupied by Brockville Park, the stadium of Falkirk FC. It’s biggest ever attendance was 23,100 in 1953 for a match against Celtic. In 2004 the football club moved to a new site on the outskirts of the town. For some, however, this is still hallowed ground. For others, of course, Morrisons seems like a much better use of the space.

Eating pancakes?

We know it’s Halloween but horror of horrors, we are going to have a General Election on 12th December … hurrah! Who knows what tall stories we will be told in the coming weeks. After years of austerity there will probably be more money than we can possibly imagine to spend on pretty much anything we want. Life will be good! Everything in the garden will be rosy. Doubtless, however, on December 13th that will all change. Boris will doubtless win but that will say more about the opposition than anything else.Internal view of Morrisons supermarket, FalkirkMeanwhile we have our own somewhat smaller horror show … we must go and scare the neighbours before returning to dook for apples and try to eat pancakes covered in treacle hanging from a string with our hands tied behind our backs. What? It’s just as senseless as having a General Election but way more fun.

FK2 7EU           tel: 01324 639321         Morrisons

///insect.both.nasal

foreign, Ordinary, Scones

The Scotch Tea House

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As you know from our previous post, Café 66, we have been following the swallows in their southerly migration. Unlike us, however, they probably managed to avoid French rail strikes.  As they continued blithely onwards to South Africa we had to contend with the vagaries of continental travel.

A sign in the toilet at the Scotch Tea House in Nice, France
No jeter in the toilet

As the officials kept telling us, the strike was a ‘surprise’, only announced overnight so there was nothing much they could do The answer to most of our questions was a gallic style shrug of the shoulders. There were a few trains running but no one seemed to know which ones. The French seem to accept such things fairly philosophically. And, in any case, they are fortunate to have Macron to blame for everything.

To cut a long story short we eventually arrived at my sister’s place about five hours late. The swallows were probably in South Africa by then. Never mind, we received a welcome like no other so all our inconveniences were immediately forgotten.

The carpet in the Scotch Tea House in Nice, France
The Tea House carpet

To make matters worse it was raining. It was raining a lot … a monsoon. It was warmer rain than we get in Scotland, however. Six years since we were last in Nice so there was much catching up to do and new things to see. My sister was keen that we see the new tram system which was still under construction on our previous visit. Also the new Coulée Verte, a beautiful green corridor that runs through the centre of the town. It’s a place for people to walk and take their ease.

Of course, France like the rest of the EU, is pretty much a scone free zone. A bit of a desert to sconeys like us. There are may culinary things France is famous for but scones isn’t one of them. However as we wandered through the Coulée Verte what should we spy in the distance … the Scotch Tea House! Was it  possible that a scone, a beacon of genteel civility, might exist in such a place?

Internal view of the Scotch Tea House in Nice, FranceWe entered into a cool dark wood paneled interior that must have given many delicate Victorian ladies refuge from the midday sun. It didn’t look as if it had changed much in the intervening years. And, sacre bleu, they had scones! This was indeed unexpected. We had thought that we would be scone free until our return to the UK. Once we had chosen our tea from the tea menu it wasn’t long before our scones arrived … toasted? No one had asked if we wanted them toasted, that’s just the way they came.

A scone at the Scotch Tea House in Nice, France
Presumably all scones come ready toasted in France

In spite of there being lashings of cream in some of the cakes on display, there was none for scones, c’est la vie. There was a selection of jam and a little pack of French butter … just like you get in the UK!?  The scones were different, not unpleasant – just different. They had a fairly dry even texture which may have been partly due to the toasting. We enjoyed them but thought they fell well short of a topscone. Good enough for a top ‘French scone’. though. Bravo, the Scotch Tea House, good attempt!

The menu in the Scotch Tea House in Nice, France
Specialités Anglaises’, a tad odd for a Scotch Tea House

One of the benefits of being here is that we are almost devoid of Brexit news. Suffice to say, the French are just as perplexed as the UK on the whole sorry fiasco. We may have to all learn the gallic shrug of the shoulders accompanied with a “Quels imbéciles!”External view of the Scotch Tea House in Nice, France

06000 Nice      tel: +33 4 93 87 75 62        Scotch Tea House TA

///eternity.trout.shrimp

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

The Kelpies Café

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Today we find ourselves at the Kelpies Café. We are ashamed! People come from all over the world to see the Kelpies in Falkirk but, up until now, we have never been. Not strictly true because we have been here dropping people off and such like but this is the first time we have actually set out to visit. They were opened six years ago so it’s not as if we haven’t had time. You know how it is, however, when it’s on your doorstep you can always go tomorrow and sometimes tomorrow just never comes! So, after an uneventful five minute drive, on a glorious autumn day, we were here at last.

External view of the Kelpies in FalkirkWhat actually is a kelpie we hear you ask? Well, it’s a Scottish shape shifting aquatic spirit that frequents lochs and rivers. Usually in the form of a beautiful horse. They are not really comparable to Nessie, except in that, like Nessie, they appear infrequently. Unbelievably, some people have gone through their entire lives without ever seeing either.

Handsome?

Almost exactly three years ago when we reported on the Venachar Lochside Café we recounted an incident where a kelpie from that particular loch would sometimes appear as a handsome young man and lure young women and children into the water.  It would then drag them under and devour them. There’s a theory that Boris Johnson may actually be a kelpie trying to lure about sixty million people towards a similar frightful fate. The ‘handsome’ bit, however, throws serious doubt on this theory’s veracity.

Internal view of the Kelpies in FalkirkOur Kelpies today, however, bear none of that malevolence. They merely celebrate the part the heavy horse has played in shaping the Falkirk area in years gone by – pulling coal barges, ploughs and wagons. They are situated at the east end of the Forth & Clyde canal where it joins the river Forth. You can only see their magnificent heads, the rest is under the water … obviously. They are spectacular and we can quite understand why people travel from far and near to see them.

A scone at the Kelpies in FalkirkHowever, after wandering around looking at all the boats and admiring the sculptures a scone soon beckoned. There are three cafés here. Our café of choice turned out to be the one imaginatively called ‘Café’. It’s part of the visitor centre and is fairly typical of such places. Self service but quite a wide range of food options available. We both plumped for a fruit scone. Our relatively low expectations, however, were completely confounded when  they turned out to be rather nice.

A scone at the Kelpies in Falkirk
Spot the fruit

We might have awarded a topscone were it not for the fact that there was no cream (not even Roddas) and hardly any fruit. They might have been better billed as plain scones. Of course, then we would have complained that our plain scones had a bit of fruit in them. There’s just no pleasing some folk! Everything else was fine, however, so overall we enjoyed our visit and our scone. We may even come back!

In brief

The UK shape shifting government looks as if it is going to try and cobble together another deal with the EU. Who knows what’s going to happen? With a completely shapeless opposition, however, they might actually even get it passed, even if it’s worse than Theresa May’s deal! Some people have complained that the explanation of Brexit in our Muircot Farm post was far too long. Hopefully this one, stolen from the internet, is more concise and clearly encapsulates Britain’s negotiating strategy.Brexit summary

FK2 7ZT        tel: 01324 590600         The Kelpies Café

///branded.highs.rungs

Ordinary, Scones

Graze Coffee House

For this scone at Graze Coffee House we have left the Covenanters Hotel in Falkland far behind and crossed the river Forth to Dunbar. As it happens though we are still maintaining our link to Covenanters and Covenanting. Dunbar Castle was a major fortress in medieval times and became the centre for that well known war criminal, Oliver Cromwell, to provision his invading English army.

View of Dunbar Castle and Victoria harbour
Ruins of Dunbar Castle above the harbour entrance
Martyrs
Fishing boats in the harbour at Dunbar
Fishing boats in Dunbar harbour

The Battle of Dunbar in 1650 is still controversial, even today. The Scots covenanting army was defeated and about 4000 soldiers were taken prisoner. They were marched south to be imprisoned in Durham Cathedral so they could take no further part in the conflict. They were treated so badly, however, that only about half survived the journey. Some died of exhaustion and others were simply shot. Many survivors were sold into slavery but many others died in the Cathedral. In 2013 scientists unearthed a mass grave near the Cathedral containing their remains. It is thought that other such mass graves exist nearby. There is now a campaign to repatriate the remains of these “Dunbar Martyrs” back home to Scotland.

View towards the Bass Rock from Dunbar
Looking over the river Forth towards Fife with the Bass Rock left of center
John and Greta

The reason we are here, however, has nothing to do with Covenanters. We thought that, since we had visited one end of the John Muir Way at Helensburgh, we should have a look at the other end in Dunbar. John Muir was born here in 1838 and went on to become the leading conservationist of his time. It was said of him that he was “saving the American soul from total surrender to materialism“. If he was alive today, he would doubtless be amazed that it has been left to youngsters like Greta Thunberg to carry the torch.

Sign for dangerous cliffs on the John Muir Way at Dunbar
a sign, thoughtfully placed by the EU

We elected to walk the last mile or so of the trail along the coast to Dunbar itself. Along the way we found many warning signs of the fast approaching Brexit date at the end of this month. The path meanders along the clifftops and eventually ends up at Dunbar Castle.

Artillery gun at Dunbar
Pat getting ready to repel Johnny Foreigner after Brexit
View of Dunbar Castle at the end of the John Muir Trail
the end of the trail with Dunbar Castle in the distance and a large picture of John Muir himself …. it’s either him or Billy Connolly

Needless to say, after such exertions on a bright but blustery day, a scone was called for. We were reliably informed by two women hanging around on a street corner that the best scone in town was at the Graze Coffee and Chocolate House in the High Street. They seemed to know what they were talking about and it was only a few yards from where we were. In no time at all, we were settled in and ready.

Date and walnut

The staff were were extremely friendly and welcoming and soon had Pat sorted with a cheese scone and me with a date and walnut one. Date and walnut? Is this a step too far? No worries. Pat thought her scone was good but not quite deserving of the topscone accolade. My scone was very good as well. the walnuts gave it a delightful crunchiness. Although I had passed on the cream (Rhoddas) the overall combination  with jam and butter was very good. Not quite a topscone from me either but a great wee café and thoroughly recommended.

Hard to believe

We feel slightly nauseous as Boris Johnson soaks up the adoration of his supplicants at the Tory Party Conference and tries to pretend that his seven page cobbled together ‘deal’ is worthy of consideration by the EU. We are increasingly dismayed. Hard to believe, in such desperate times, that we have someone as weak as Jeremy Corbyn leading the opposition. Heyho, fingers crossed, he can pull a rabbit out of a hat before the 31st.

EH42 1EW        tel: 01368 864619         Graze Dunbar

///recovery.reserving.chip

ps with only about three  Brexit weeks to go before we leave the EU no one can express our feelings better than A A Gill. He wrote this article shortly before his death in 2016.  We’ve included it as a ps so you don’t have to read it if you don’t want to, but it’s worth it … and there’s a K6 at the end to keep you going … enjoy!

Three weeks to go

“It was the woman on Question Time that really did it for me.
She was so familiar. There is someone like her in every queue, every coffee shop, outside every school in every parish council in the country. Middle-aged, middle-class, middle-brow, over-made-up, with her National Health face and weatherproof English expression of hurt righteousness, she’s Britannia’s mother-in-law. The camera closed in on her and she shouted: “All I want is my country back. Give me my country back.”
It was a heartfelt cry of real distress and the rest of the audience erupted in sympathetic applause, but I thought: “Back from what? Back from where?”

pps We found two Falkirk made K6s in Dunbar. This one is in the High Street. The campaign to get Falkirk Council to preserve some K6s is ongoing with Falkirk Made Friends on FacebookA Falkirk made K6 telephone box in the High Street in Dunbar

Ordinary, Scones

The Covenanter Hotel

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Sign at the Covenanter Hotel in Falkland“Down with tyranny – we are and we will make free”.

Depending on you’re political stance, these words could easily refer the UK’s departure from the EU .. or, just as easily, to Scotland’s continuing struggle for independence. These words don’t refer to either, however. It was, in fact, the cry of the Covenanters when they were descending on government troops in Dumfries in 1666 at the start of the Pentland Uprising. The Covenanters refused to recognise the King, rather than Christ, as head of the Church. Thus began some of the bloodiest episodes in Scottish history with over 18,000 Covenanters eventually paying the ultimate price. You mess around with Christians fighting other Christians at your peril … God on both sides?

Falkland Palace, where James V died in 1542. He had been visiting his mistress at Tantallon Castle then spent a few days with his pregnant wife in Linlithgow Palace before  traveling to Falkland where he fell ill and passed away. Serves him jolly well right!
What’s in a name?
Statue of Onesiphorus Tyndall Bruce opposite the Covenanter Hotel in Falkland
Tyndall-Bruce statue

In spite of its name, this hotel, does not appear to have any direct connections with Covenanters. It was probably named after a famous Covenanter, Rev Richard Cameron, who was born in one of the neighbouring houses. When you enter between the two Doric columns of the doorway you come into what seems like a rabbit warren of small sitting rooms and bars. Eventually we were directed by some very chatty and friendly staff to a small snug bar. From the window we could look across the road to Falkland Palace and the statue of Onesiphorus Tyndall-Bruce. What a name … sounds like an advert for single piece pyjamas? Turns out that Onesiphorus was the son of slave traders, educated at Eton and Oxford who, by the 1810, had managed to acquire debts of £50,000, approx £1m in today’s money. He ended up marrying into money and owning the whole of Falkland. A perfect example of British upper class privilege that’s still so prevalent today.

View from the Covenanter Hotel in Falklandiew of the Covenanter Hotel in Falkland
Downtown Falkland

In the movie, Outlander, the Covenanter Hotel was Mrs Baird’s guest house where Claire and Frank spent their honeymoon in episode 1. As we pondered whether they had had a scone A scone at the Covenanter Hotel in Falklandor not, ours arrived. Quite nicely presented, we were eager to get started. Sadly, they were probably the worst scones we have had in a long time. Peculiar texture and very sweet. No topscone but we enjoyed our visit nevertheless. Falkland is a wonderful village that still looks as if it belongs to a bygone era.

Anyone for …?

We did consider going for a game on the oldest tennis court in the world … first played on in 1539. It’s within the Palace and takes the form of Royal tennis … one of only forty such courts in existence. Not something that Andy Murray would recognise and difficult after a large scone. We just went home.

Free scone

We are sponsoring a free scone at the Covenanter Hotel for anyone who can predict what will happen in the next week of British politics. Answers on a postcard … no time wasters!

KY15 7BU      tel: 01337 857163      Covenanter

///haggling.cycled.vesting

ps Many thanks to our Canada correspondents who sent us this photo of a Falkirk K6 outside the Mad Hatter pub in Orangeville, Ontario. K6 outside Mad Hatter pub in Orangevill, Ontario

///count.zoomed.violist

 

Ordinary, Scones

The Canny Soul

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All hail Lady Hale. She has shown our Prime Minister to be an absolute bounder.  Some think her large spider brooch, was worn to illustrate what a tangled web we weave, however, she has unwittingly launched a whole new fashion movement. Who’d have thought they would have sold 5000 t-shirts sporting her brooch design within hours of it appearing?

Quite a month

Anyway, September has been quite a month for the UK. The Queen has been found to have meddled in the Scottish independence referendum of 2014. Much has been made in the press of the Palace’s disquiet at this being made public by David Cameron. Not a mention, however, of the disquiet of the people of Scotland who have known the Queen was set up for the past five years.

Dysfunctional

Now she’s embroiled in BoJo’s deceit over the prorogation of Parliament. Bad enough having a dysfunctional family to deal with, now she has a load of dysfunctional politicians as well. Who would be a Royal?

Internal view of the Canny Soul café in St AndrewsThe lesson we have taken from the Supreme Court’s ruling is that doing things unlawfully is okay. Pat and I have decided to start mugging people in an effort to enhance our meagre pensions. Yes, we know it’s unlawful but what the hell? If it’s good enough for Boris, surely it’s good enough for us too. St Andrews seemed like a good place to start. Lots of wealthy folk and stacks of American tourists.  Of course St Andrews is a university town (2nd best after Cambridge) so it’s brimming with students. We knew that there would be slim pickings mugging them … too poor and too fit. It would be the easiest thing in the world for them to run away from us.

Sign for the Canny Soul café in St AndrewsNo, we really needed to find people with walking sticks, or zimmers, preferably. Spotting likely victims is harder than you might think, however. After a while we were tired and found ourselves standing outside the Canny Soul café. We ended up not mugging anyone or, indeed, doing anything unlawful and going for a scone instead. Is that a huge collective sigh of relief we can hear? However, had we been caught mugging someone we would simply have explained that we disagreed it was unlawful. It works for Boris!

Definition of a Canny Soul

It turns out there is more to this place than meets the eye because, on the face of it, it’s not much to look at. Apparently a “canny soul” is someone who is: “neither above you or below you but is always by your side”. It’s a kind of lifestyle choice.

Picture of Marilyn Munro at the Canny Soul café in St Andrews
Marilyn Munro

One that was borne out by the place itself. All the staff were very happy and obliging. We’re not sure if this picture, which was prominent in the café, is of a “canny soul” but if Boris can learn to simper like this then he will probably get away with even more than he’s getting away with at the moment.

Sucking up

Everything we had was fine, however, our scones did not quite cut it. They seemed a wee bit tasteless. A scone at the Canny Soul café in St AndrewsNo topscone but the friendly atmosphere in the Canny Soul more than made up for it. They were indeed, canny souls. During some banter when we were leaving I complimented the middle aged owner on his youthful energy. He looked at me and said “ you have aged like a bottle of fine wine, I have aged like a bottle of milk!” Ten out of ten for observation … and sucking up to customers! Perhaps Boris should do a bit more sucking up rather than simply blustering blindly towards a no deal Brexit. He might even consider becoming a canny soul … or have we taken that too far?

The government has had to spend £billions repatriating holiday makers  after Thomas Cook’s  collapse and now Trump is being impeached. The world has gone mad … or madder! We still had a very enjoyable time in St Andrews however.

KY16 9QW     tel: 07712 423386       The Canny Soul TA

///liberated.rejoined.slept

Ordinary, Scones

Buttercup Café – Doune

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Movies like Ivanhoe, Outlander, Game of Thrones,  Monty Python and the Holy Grail have all been huge box office hits. But what else do you think they might have in common? Yes, okay, they were all filmed here in this tiny hamlet of Doune, or, to be more precise, at the medieval fortress of Doune Castle. However, perhaps the most important thing they have in common is that, in spite of them all being totally unrealistic flights of fancy, they are all sooo much more believable than the current actuality of British politics. The situation has descended to such a level that watching ‘Westminster live’ has become compulsive viewing. Coronation Street has had to take a back seat as the masses switch to watching politicians conniving, lying through their teeth and stabbing each other in the back over Brexit. Some have even taken to stabbing each other in the front! Scriptwriters could not make this stuff up … it’s beyond imagination!

Doune on a wet day
Downtown Doune in the rain
Witches and MPs

This preamble, some might say ramble, is simply to say we are in Doune in the Buttercup Café, just a couple of hundred yards away from the castle. The last time we were in a Buttercup Café it was over a year ago in North Berwick. Back then we reported on how the town tortured and burned witches alive if they failed to conform. Looking at how the Tory party is dealing with its own MPs it seems that little has changed over the centuries.

Internal view of the Buttercup Café, DouneWe had just spent a strenuous few hours rummaging at the local Antique Centre on the outskirts of the village.  As is usual when we visit such places, we bought quite a few items we didn’t need. In spite of knowing we didn’t need them, we bought them anyway. Such is the influence of antique shops over weak willed souls like ourselves. So, when we arrived at the Buttercup we were in severe need of respite and sustenance.

Lovely lunch

Some lunch was called for. The ladiA scone at the Buttercup Café, Dounees here were super attentive and soon had us sorted with everything we needed, including a fruit scone for afters. Everything we had was super good and we were very much looking forward to our scone. Unfortunately it didn’t quite hit the mark. Enjoyable enough but a little bit dry and flowery for our taste. No topscone this time but a great wee café run by lovely people. We thoroughly recommend it.

Only one thing is sure

Now that Jo Johnson has decided to remove himself from the mess that masquerades as British politics we think he has shown an admirable and  excellent example to his brother. Don’t hold your breath though. Somehow Boris gives the impression that it is all, what they would have called at Eton, ‘a jolly jape’. Only one thing seems to be sure. No matter what happens Boris will be just fine and laughing all the way to the bank.

FK16 6BJ      tel: 01786 842511       Buttercup Café Doune FB

///crown.drummers.swooned

Ordinary, Scones

Fortingall Hotel

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Who would have thought it? A wee boy born here in the pretty little Perthshire village of Fortingall would eventually end up as Governor of Judea and condemning Jesus Christ to death. Extraordinary really. Anyway according to legend Pontius Pilate was born here. His mum and dad must have been on holiday. If, like Boris Johnson, you believe that then you will probably also believe that everything will be hunky dory after Brexit. Isn’t Brexit fantastic, never have Britain’s knickers been so twisted. It kind of defies comment!

What a difference a week makes!
Highland picture by Joe Adam at Fortingall Hotel
in reception, a typical highland scene by Joseph Adam

We’re here for the Fortingall Art Festival which, as it turns out, was last week. Wires crossed, knickers twisted, whatever, we missed it. To be fair, it was in no way a disaster. Driving down Glen Lyon must figure as one of the best drives in the world. And on a beautiful day like today, even more so. What do you do when you’ve arrived a week late for an arts festival? Look for a scone, of course!

Internal view of Fortingall HotelA few years back we actually stayed in Fortingall Hotel. That must have been in pre scone blog days, however, when we actually had a life. It was nice to be back though and as soon as we walked in it all looked very familiar. It has that slightly lived-in look of an old Scottish shooting lodge …  homely and comfortable.  Scones at Fortingall HotelThe staff all seemed to be from Poland but, as is their way, were super helpful and friendly. We could have sat in the lounge, the library or the bar. We chose the lounge and very soon we had our lovely warm scones in a beautiful silver basket  complete with lashings of jam and cream. What more could you ask for?  Well, we would have liked our scones to have been a little bit better. They were okay but definitely not topscones. Everything else was perfect, however, so we thoroughly enjoyed our time here.External view of Fortingall Hotel

Signpost for Dull near FortingallDull and Boring

When we left Fortingall we carried on down Glen Lyon towards Aberfeldy. Soon we came to the village of Dull which, as you can see from the signpost, is twinned with Boring in Oregon. We discovered that it’s possible to get a scone in Dull at Highland Safaris but we will have to leave that for another day. How exciting is that …. a Dull scone!

PH15 2NQ            tel: 01887 830367               Fortingall

///whites.sitting.presenter

ps This K6 was right next to the hotel and it was in good working order … as you would expect from one made in Falkirk. Fortingall is a site of great antiquity … even the vegetation is ancient. The famous Fortingall yew tree to the right of the picture, at 5000 t0 9000 years old, claims to be the oldest living thing in Europe. although I sometimes make the same claim when getting out of bed in the morning. If the tree is indeed something like 5000 years old, then having witnessed bronze age man, Roman invasions, the Vikings and two World Wars we guess it could be forgiven for viewing the kerfuffle over Brexit with a slightly jaundiced eye. Wonder what it will see in another thousand years?

Useful link: things to do in Aberfeldy

Ordinary, Scones

Battle of Bannockburn

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This Post May Contain Rants. We thought we should make that clear at the start for people of a sensitive disposition.

Purely by some fluke of circumstance we have ended up here at the Battle of Bannockburn Visitor Centre. We’ve been here at the site of the battle many times before but never bothered to go into the visitor centre. Today was different, however, it was pouring with rain. It was so heavy that we couldn’t get a decent photo of the outside of the building. It’s pretty ugly, however, so you’re not missing much. That could be the first rant. Why has such an iconic site got an ugly grey box for a visitor centre? Sign for the Battle of Bannockburn Visitor Centre

The second is about the signage. The Battle of … What? It has been so over designed it is barely decipherable. Considering that most folk coming here are foreigners this seems to add an unnecessary level of complexity to their understanding of what went on here. We see it all over the place. It’s the triumph of academia over common sense.

Borders

Of course the Centre celebrates the Battle of Bannockburn in 1314 between England and Scotland. It does beg the question of why there was an English army just outside Stirling in the first place. Okay, okay, Scotland has never been the easiest of neighbours … we’re a bit rough! Our national flower is not the jaggy thistle for nothing. Our bagpipes have not been declared a ‘weapon of war’ for nothing. Even wearing tartan has been seen as provocative … but still! We think that after Brexit, when an independent Scotland has rejoined the EU, instead of a wall along the border, we should have a leylandii hedge and then England can fight with us over what height it should be. It would help maintain a long tradition between difficult neighbours.

Internal view of the Battle of Bannockburn Visitor CentreRobert the Bruce’s victory, of course, led to the Declaration of Arbroath which set Scotland up as a proud self respecting and independent country. Most importantly it declared that the independence of Scotland was the sole prerogative of the people of Scotland. A few centuries later, however, it all went pear shaped. A “parcel of rogues” in the form of a handful of Scottish aristocrats sold Scotland down the river in exchange for English gold. Scotland became the only country in the world to be ruled by another … as it still is today. Thankfully this sorry state of affairs is about to come to an end when, hopefully, within the not too distant future, the people will reassert their right to self determination and Scotland will be independent again … FREEDOM! Apologies, got a little bit carried away there.

Footnotes

This ranting about independence is all well and good but what about the important stuff … the scones, did they have scones.? A scone at the Battle of Bannockburn Visitor CentreYes they did! It’s a little known fact but a footnote in the small print of the Declaration of Arbroath (as a small concession to the defeated English) states “if ever there be a visitor centre established at Bannockburn it must sell little packs of English butter from Wiltshire with the scones” And so it came to pass! There was no cream but our fruit scones came with said butter as well as jam that you dolloped on your plate from a large bowl at the servery.

A scone at the Battle of Bannockburn Visitor Centre
spot the fruit

It reminded us of how many cafés in Norway serve jam with their fabulous boller. Unfortunately these scones were very disappointing. They just did not taste right … as if something was missing. The fruit was certainly missing.

Kitsch
Scotland badge at the Battle of Bannockburn Visitor Centre
scottish tat

Something is missing from this Visitor Centre as well. Hard to put your finger on it but it could easily be much much better. They have the usual assemblage of tartan tat as well as a large display of Hollywood kitsch in the form of plastic props from the Outlaw King film … what’s that all about? That was the last rant. Don’t get us started on Boris. Just remember that although he doesn’t have a clue where he is taking the UK, it will all be great! Smile be upbeat, that will do the trick. Last rant … promise

FK7 0LJ        tel: 01786 812664           Bannockburn

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The Pedant has just sent this picture of a brace of K6s at Knightsbridge Green in London. Both from the Lion foundry in Kirkintilloch and one of which is still fully functional. Many thanks.Two K6 telephone boxes at Knightsbridge Green, London