Category Archives: Ordinary

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Ordinary, Scones

Lobster Pot

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A picture at the Lobster PotWe don’t understand why it’s been about five years since we last reported from the Lobster Pot in Blackness on Sea. It’s only a twenty minute drive and with its lighthearted approach to life and its cornucopia of artefacts. It’s always a joy to visit and it even has the village shop . We must do it more often?

A picture at the Lobster PotThere’s a sign on the way into the pub which boldly says “KEEP SCOTLAND WEIRD” and the interior decor of the place certainly does its best to maintain that ethos. There’s mermaids, figureheads, ropes and pulleys everywhere. It’s definitely weird but in a nice way. The walls and ceilings are  covered in paintings and items, mostly with a nautical theme. If you have the time to look at everything you can discover a lot of the local history.

For a small village of less than one hundred inhabitants it definitely punches above its weight.

Blackness Castle
Blackness Castle, built in 1440 and known as “the ship that never sailed” because from the seaward side it looks like a huge battleship … it proved an effective deterrent to German U-Boats
The Duchess

As well the Lobster Pot it boasts an Outlander Castle, sandy beaches, a promenade, a pier, a sailing club and even a naturist swimming group.

A picture at the Lobster Pot
The swimming group may have been started by the Duchess of Argyle judging by this picture!

Not only this but now the pub has set up a distillery next door … the Blackness Bay distillery. What more could you ask for? It’s tiny and hasn’t been going long enough to produce whisky but it does do an interesting range of Blackness Bay rums. When they do produce whisky in a couple of years it will be called “Mary Queen of Scotch”. It’s never going to compete with the Johnnie Walkers of this world but that’s not the point. It will be fun and maybe a bit weird. But while we’re waiting they have a new make spirit called “Virgin Mary”. And as if all that wasn’t enough they do scones as well!Logo of the Lobster Pot

After a walk along the beach we decided some lunch was required. I had a sandwich full of crab, prawns and lobster. When I say full, I mean FULL! Not easy to eat neatly. A scone at the Lobster PotIt came with a salad and a tin cup full of delicious chips. They didn’t have cream so the scone, when it arrived, just had butter and jam and unfortunately none of it was local. The scone wasn’t easy to eat neatly either. Because it was quite warm the butter melted and then the scone tended to fall apart. Nowhere near a topscone but it didn’t detract from a really enjoyable visit. 

Futility of life

The pub has held a poetry competition. According to the website “The older locals gather with the landlorA picture at the Lobster Potd to quietly contemplate the futility of human existence without as much as a poem to tell future generations of the glory that once was Blackness on Sea“.  The rules stated that it had to mention the pub and the village though not necessarily in complimentary terms. A £1000 prize for the winning entry meant there were 270 entries. The winning submission by Arran Potts was called “Come Away In“.

A picture at the Lobster Pot
The local folk enjoying themselves in front of the Lobster Pot
Sage advice

With the Donald getting his feet under the desk in the Oval Office again on Monday this sign seemed like apt advice for the rest of the world.A sign at the Lobster Pot

And another sign in the garden of the Lobster Pot.

EH49 7NL            tel: 01506 830086                 Lobster Pot

///work.deflection.limelight

ps; last time we were here we asked for the meaning behind this diorama. So far no one was brave enough to offer one.  

A diorama at the Lobster Pot
It contains a fisherman pointing at a cooked lobster on top of a creel, five bottles of Guinness, a terrier dog wearing wellington boots and a large snake wound around a naked lady.

If there is some deep meaning in this allegory then hopefully some reader might decipher it? No prize but huge kudos.

Ordinary, Scones

Smiddy Farm Shop

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We all know people who could start a fight in an empty room, don’t we? But do you know folk who could do that over a scone at the Smiddy Farm Shop? But more of that later.Internal view of the Smiddy Farm Shop

We come here quite a lot because we pass it on our way to other places. It’s strategically located at a fork in the road. Blair Drummond Estate runs the Smiddy and a lot of the produce comes from its own farms.

Life and limb

Attentive readers will, of course, remember that a couple of years back we also reported from here on banana and chocolate scones. On thatLogo of the Smiddy Farm Shop ocassion  we were just doing some shopping – Pat likes the milk that comes from the the Wee Isle Dairy on the Isle of Gigha. At the checkout we noticed packets of banana and chocolate scones. In the interests of the further education of our readers we, of course, risked life and limb and tried them out at home. The verdict was surprisingly quite favourable.

Extra super attentive readers will remember our initial visit to this café back in October 2016.  It had opened its doors for the first time just 75 minutes before we arrived. Unsurprisingly there were some teething problems but we could see huge potential. The scones on that occasion were nice with lots of fruit but there was no cream and we judged them to be just a bit too big.Internal view of the Smiddy Farm Shop

Our visit today proved that the potential had indeed been realised. It was very busy and we were fortunate to get the last available table. The scone display cabinet, however, was bereft of Afternoon treat menuscones … just a few sad crumbs. When we asked they simply told us that if there were none in the cabinet they had all gone. Disheartened, we looked at the menu to see if any thing else tickled our fancy. Lo and behold, on the menu they had “afternoon treat with mini scones“. When we asked if we could just have the mini scones our server steadfastly informed us “you only get them with the afternoon treat!!”  

Now we weren’t exactly spoiling for a fight but we did question the logic. If they had mini scones surely we could have them! Especially since they’d run out of proper scones? Eventually she relented and said she would go and ask. Happily the response was “no problem!” We ordered two mini fruit scones with jam and cream and some of our favourite Henry’s coffee. Internal view of the Smiddy Farm Shop

Awkward customers

We were happy when they arrived because they were just ever so slightly smaller than how we like them … success! Miniscones at the Smiddy Farm ShopNo cream, however, so we had to remind her. There was only a couple of bites in each scone so there was no point in starting without it.  Five minutes later and still without cream we had go and find her. She had forgotten again! She scurried off to get some, no doubt muttering under her breath “what is it with these mad scone people?“. Eventually everything was assembled. The scones were really nice but with all things considered there wasn’t to be a topscone today. To be fair, our server was very busy and in the circumstances handled us awkward customers extremely well … no blows were exchanged.

External view of the Blair Drummond Smiddy

The 47th

Donald Trump still has a week to go before being sworn in as the 47th President of the USA. However, trouble is brewing already. Amongst his stated ambitions is to take over Greenland … by force if necessary! Greenland is resource rich and strategically placed on Russia’s main shipping route to the Atlantic. Scotland is also resource rich and strategically placed on Russia’s main shipping route to the Atlantic. Will we be next? He can maybe take Greenland but he’ll be in for a shock if he tries it on with Scotland! We’re permanently angry and we’ve got claymores!

FK9 4UY                 tel: 01786 235024           The Smiddy

///keen.collected.bugs

Ordinary, Scones

Café 1496

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Today we’re in Forres on the Moray coast at Café 1496. With its sheltered microclimate and abundant golden beaches, the Moray coast is sometimes known as the Riviera of the North. January, however, is not a month to be lying on any Scottish beach. but ideal for partaking of coffee and scones.Internal view of Café 1496

Forres has been around for a while. King David 1 made it one of Scotland’s earliest Royal Burghs in 1150. Presumably the burgh incurred Logo of Café 1496someone’s displeasure because it lost its Royal status in 1312. However, in 1496 along comes good old King James IV to elevate it once again to its former Royal glory. The town was allowed to have a weekly market and an eight day fair as well as a café commemorating the event. 

Busy busy

Café 1496 prides itself on its relaxed atmosphere … “come in, relax  and stay as long as you want, there’s no hurry“. Ironically that philosophy makes it very busy and even a little frantic for the staff. We were fortunate to get the last table available while they  were turning other people away. It was busy busy!A sign at Café 1496

Nevertheless, they soon had us sorted with a fruit scone and some coffee.  Our scones turned out to be pleasant enough though we felt they were just a teeny bit doughy.  Presentation was a bit basic as well so, unfortunately, no topscone.A scone at Café 1496

We say ‘unfortunately” because we like what they are trying to do here. They make a real commitement to the community. This string of clothes pegs hanging in the window indicates the kindness of their customers.

Payment pegs at Café 1496
You can ask for a £2.50 peg to be added to your bill. Folks who are feeling the pinch can ask for their coffee to be paid for by peg. Left over pegs are donated to local charities.
Forkbeard

On the outskirts of Forres stands the Pictish, Sueno’s Stone. It’s important because there’s no written account of the Picts, only stone carvings. However, this one as well as being shrouded in a gigantic glass box is also shrouded in mystery. We do know however that it dates to the 9th century, is 21 feet tall. weighs eleven tons and came from a quarry more than ten  miles away.

Sueno's Stone in Forres
Sueno’s Stone

It’s named after Danish Viking King Sweyn Forkbeard even though there is no evidence that he ever came anywhere near Forres. But once things are named it becomes tricky to change. Whoever placed it here went to a lot of trouble so it seems only fitting that it should now be protected in this way. Experts seem unable to agree on what its intricate carvings mean. Theories abound! There are several battle scenes with many decapitations so we think it tells us quite a lot. Namely, when you look at the world today we have not advanced very much and we certainly don’t learn anything along the way. Of all the theories, we like the one that in Shakespear’s Macbeth the three witches met here and their souls are forever trapped within the stone. Impossible and really silly but some people will believe anything.

Pat at Findhorn Bay
Pat at Findhorn Bay just outside Forres
Village idiot

The richest man in the world falls into that category. He behaves like a kid who has just discovered that his gun fires actual bullets. He’s spraying them around left right and centre … great fun! The potential for harm, of course, is huge. For a supposedly intelligent man he does a surprisingly convincing impression of the village idiot. Would the Picts have bothered carving anything about him? We doubt it.

IV36 1AE              Café 1496 TA

///hangs.regularly.amaze

Ordinary, Scones

Fells Coffee House

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Our hometown of Falkirk is fortunate in only being a very short drive away from Carron valley, the water supply for the town. The biggest benefit, however, is that the 15 minute drive takes you very quickly from an urban environment to one which is much more reminiscent of the Highlands. The contrast is amazing. The road also takes you over the hills to villages like Milton of Campsie where you can stop off at places like the Fells Coffee House. For a rather peculiar reason it is a very popular rendezvous for cyclists.Logo of the Fells Coffee House

The backdrop to the café is provided by the Campsie Fells range of hills. No way can these relatively modest hills be compared to the Himalayas but recently they have become a popular venue fPoster of the Tak Ma Doon roador the cycling sport of Everesting. If you, like us, are unfamiliar with the sport, let us explain. The nearby Tak-ma-Doon road tops out at 322 metres above sea level, is just over 2.5 miles long with an average gradient of 6.2%. “Everesting” is a term that describes riding the hill repeatedly to reach a total ascent equal to that of Mount Everest.

The challenge means ascending and descending the Task-ma-Doon road 34 times non stop. It normally takes in excess of 16 hours to complete. A punishing event even for the young and fit. The Fells Coffee House  caters to this cycling fraternity. As well as coffee and cakes it keeps a full range of spare inner tubes and other cycle maintenance equipment.  Sconing, rather than Everesting is more our thing … we drove.  And on this beautiful day it was perfect.Internal view of the Fells Coffee House

Sourcing

The Fells has a welcoming feel about it. They do all the usual stuff you would expect from a café like this and, of course, scones. A scone at the Fells Coffee HouseWe ordered a fruit scone which unfortunately came with English clotted cream and Italian jam. This place was fairly obviously well run so why they don’t access more locally produced produce we cannot understand. Having said that everything was delicious. Pretty close to a topscone.

Vintage view of the Fells Coffee House
The Fells Coffee House in former times. Milton of Campsie once had several corn mills as well as many illicit whisky stills
Wild West

At the moment, the world outside Milton of Campsie feels a bit like the Wild West. The US has accidentally downed one of its own £50 million fighter planes and Russia has done the same with a passenger airliner.  We’ll just drive back over the Tak-Ma-Doon and hope we don’t get hit by anything falling out of the sky!

G66 8BQ         tel: 01360 316 421.           Fells Coffee

///quail.cabbage.jolt

Ordinary, Scones

Wee Winchburgh Café

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We were here at the Wee Winchburgh Café yesterday only to find it closed. There was a notice on the door which read “Just had a baby,  closed today, open tomorrow“. Obviously we had to come back to meet this superwoman! It turned out to be a day of surprises!Internal view of the Wee Winchburgh Café

Surprise 1

Winchburgh village used to be on the main road between Falkirk and Edinburgh but it has long since been bypassed by the M9 motorway. Before the motorway we used to pass through it often. Back then it consisted of the Tally Ho Hotel and several streets of mainly miners cottages. Wall decor at the Wee Winchburgh CaféThe miners were employed in the shale oil industry … Scotland’s first oil bonanza.  If you blinked you could miss it. Little did we know that it harboured ambitions to be a city. Almost 4,000 new houses are being built as we speak. The original village has been completely consumed by what is now a ginormous building site. We couldn’t find the old village and our satnav unhelply said “unmapped area”. Eventually we had to stop and ask someone. However, when we eventually found it it was pretty much just as we remembered it with rows of little terraced houses.

When we entered the cafe the first thing we saw was a set of bagpipes displayed on the wall. A reminder to chase up our bagpipe man we talked about at the Turkish Mint Café in Stirling.

Surprise 2

Unsurprisingly the Wee Winchburgh Café is small … only three tables. When we asked the owner if she had indeed had a baby she just laughed. Turned out her daughter, who lives in Preston, had the baby and she had closed the café the day before so she could visit her new granddaughter, Sienna Rose. We were treated to some photos of the bonny baby and even a video of her sleeping.Internal view of the Wee Winchburgh Café

Surprise 3

Pat asked for a fruit scone and I thought I should try one of the cherry and almond scones on offer. Scone at the Wee Winchburgh CaféInitially, when we asked about cream she said that they didn’t have any. Then she came back and said she remembered she had some canned cream. And apparently, it was much better than the usual sort of canned cream. Normally we wouldn’t have what we call ‘scooshie’ cream but she sold it to us with her enthusiasm. However we weren’t prepared for the scones to come preloaded. They were presented  ‘ready to eat’ complete with jam and scooshie cream. Unfortunately, the cherry almond combo didn’t quite work and Pat wasn’t too keen on her fruit scone.either. Sadly no topscone but a great community café which we thoroughly enjoyed.

Wall decor at the Wee Winchburgh Café
The Broons visiting the Forth Rail Bridge
Surprise 4

As the couple at the next table were leaving and paying their bill they said that they would like to pay our bill as well. Wow! For years we’ve been trying to perfect that art of looking like an little old couple with a purse from which we would count out the pennies one by one but this was the first time anyone had actually fallen for it. Seriously, we thanked them and as they left they simply said “It’s Christmas“. Wonderful when complete strangers do things like that! Earlier our host, new grandmother and scone loader took a phone call from someone placing an order. She finished the call with a “That’s great, I’ll bring it over to you rather than you having to cross that busy road“. It was that sort of place.

Pig cruet set at the Wee Winchburgh Café
our salt and pepper
More surprises

There’s been lots going on that’s taken us by surprise: (a) Ukraine has blown up a Russian army General in downtown Moscow (b) the Church of England is having difficulty replacing the Archbishop of Canterbury because the prospective candidate seems to have been involved in the same sort of sex abuse scandals as the man he is replacing (c) the Royal Mail, started by Henry VIII in 1516, has been sold to Daniel Kretinsky a Czech billionaire. Britain is in a right old state … but that’s not a surprise!Sign for the Wee Winchburgh Café

Thank goodness for places like Wee Winchburgh Café whose heart is in the right place. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all our readers.

EH52 6RA           01506 200659             Wee Winchburgh Café FB

///cared.childcare.watch

Ordinary, Scones

Mint Café

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You know how it is … you go into somewhere like Mint Café in Stirling for coffee and a scone and by the time you come out the world has changed. Okay, Syria to be more precise but who knows what is going to happen next. The hellish Assad regime has fallen and people are rejoicing. Mint Café signHowever, within a day of the Russians stopping their bombing of the country, Israel, Turkey and the US have started. All trying to protect their own interests but hardly an auspicious launch of a new era! There are all sorts of tensions mostly caused by slightly differing interpretations of the same religion … clerics have much to answer for! Nowhere are these tensions more evident than on the Turkish/Syria border with the third longest wall in the world separating the two countries.  Only the Great Wall of China and the US/Mexico wall are longer.Internal view of Mint Café, Stirling

Anyway, purely by accident we are here in Mint, a Turkish café. But why? Well, we were hoping to pick up a set of bagpipes in Stirling but having been unable to contact the guy who was renovating them, we decided to pay a visit to his shop. 

a light fitting in Mint Café, StirlingJust our luck, when we arrived, it wasn’t open. The word on the street, however, was that he normally opened a bit later in the day. What to do? Our solution was to go away and come back later, hence you find us here in Mint. Not only are we here but we are the only ones here. The place was deserted … just the Turkish owner busying himself behind the counter, and us. It seemed to be a place that specialised in cakes but there was a bowl full of scones on the counter … yeah, the day was taking a turn for the better!

I’ve always had a soft spot for Turkey since hitchhiking to the country in 1970 and experiencing the hospitality and kindness of the local people. Our host was no exception ,,, he made us very welcome. A scone in Mint Café, StirlingHe soon had us sorted with a scone and some coffee. Rather odd presentation but the scone was nice and warm with a very pleasant texture. It came with butter, jam and a dollop of ‘scooshie’ cream. The coffee was great but the rest maybe not so much. Ten out of ten for effort but some way short of a topscone.A wall hanging in Mint Café, Stirling

Afterwards, we made our way back the bagpipe shop. Hallelujah, it was open!

Lifestyle notice in Mint Café, Stirling
It’s not working

Turned out that our man was uncontactable because he had lost his phone. He had a new one but didn’t want to use it in case he found his old one?? And, in spite of having had the pipes for almost three months he hadn’t even started on them. He apologised profusely and promised to get on to it straight away. He would even deliver them to our house! Chaotic is the only way to describe his business operation but the workmanship is excellent so we remain ever hopeful of a delivery before Christmas. Internal view of Mint Café, Stirling

Being here in Mint made us feel a little closer to Syria. Bashar al-Assad and his family have successfully escaped to Russia. Presumably with him being an ophthalmologist he saw his downfall coming 😃. Sorry! The brand spanking new Syrian government has an uphill struggle ahead but hopefully they can magic up some real stability for the region.

FK8 1BJ           tel: 01786 357541           Mint Café TA

///bucks.agent.sculpture

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

Pitlochry Festival Theatre

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We are back home now after our short but very enjoyable break in Pitlochry. After our posts from Fonab Castle and Victoria’s we can now bring you one from Pitlochry Festival Theatre which we visited on our final day.

Advert for the Sound OF Music
The hills are alive

Currently they are putting on the Sound Of Music. Sadly though, there are no performances on two days every week and we were there on one of them. The cafe was open, however, so all was not lost. A scone coming up but first a fairy tale!

External view of the Pitlochry Festival Theatre

Fairy Tale

Readers could easily be forgiven for asking how a small town like Pitlochry in rural Perthshire with a population of less than 3000 has a theatre at all. The theatre could comfortable seat a fifth of the population. The story of the theatre is a bit of a fairy tale in itself and testament to one man’s vision and single minded determination.

In the early days of WWII, John Stewart, head of Skerries College in Glasgow, hid a slip of paper in a wooden post down by the River Tummel. It read ‘When peace is declared I shall return to this spot to give thanks to God and to establish my Festival’. On VE Day he did just that.

View of Port na Craig ferry site
Port-na-Craig was the site of the original ferry that crossed the River Tummel, connecting it to Pitlochry. The theatre roof can be seen behind Port-na-Craig
Whisky Galore

Because of the post war shortage of building materials he could not get permission from the government to build the theatre.

Bridge over the River Tummel
The ferry operated until 1913, when a suspension footbridge was built

As a result the theatre began life as a large tent in the garden of his Knockendarroch House. In 1952 a storm destroyed the tent almost spelling the end of the theatre. Stewart, however, formed a Society to which he gave over his house, garden and workshops. The Society was able to build a more substantial theatre at Knockendarroch and gave him permission to continue living in his own house.  Success followed success and 1959 saw the world premier of Whisky Galore – The Musical in the current building at Port-na-Craig. Incredible! And we have to arrive on a day when there’s nothing on! However, the future for the “theatre in the hills” looks bright. The new Artistic Director is none other than local boy and fierce campaigner for Scottish Independence, Alan Cumming.  Internal view of the Pitlochry Festival Theatre

The theatre itself is impressive and the cafe is a fairly typical self service facility in the foyer area. A scone at the Pitlochry Festival TheatreIt’s a large light airy space and surprisingly busy considering the time of year and the fact that there were no live performances. There was a choice of plain and fruit scones so as usual, we chose fruit. They looked as if they had loads of fruit and they did, maybe too much. Not a topscone but very enjoyable nevertheless.

Tickety boo?

Pitlochry seems like another world where everything is just fine. When you are here in the Festival Theatre it feels even more like another world.

Sign in Pitlochry
It’s a sign

In the real world, however, things aren’t quite so tickety boo. That Far Eastern beacon of democracy, South Korea, has suddenly and inexplicably declared martial law. Luckily North Korea has sent half its army to fight with Russia in Ukraine. Russia has also resumed fighting in that almost forgotten war in Syria. In Europe, France seems determined to make itself ungovernable. Across the pond, at the risk of giving banana republics a bad name America continues with its system of Presidential pardons. Why? The hills are alive with the sound of people scratching their heads!

PH16 5DR           tel: 01796 484626         Pitlochry Theatre

///charge.choppers.talents

Ordinary, Scones

Glenkinchie

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Statue of Johnnie Walker with his dogToday we are in the pretty little hamlet of Glenkinchie just a little southeast of east of Edinburgh. About 90 people live here. It’s a little bit unusual. because unlike the surrounding towns and villages which are all built from stone, here it’s all red brick. Not sure why this should be but it certainly applies to the distillery in the heart of the village which is entirely made of red brick. It’s owned by the drinks giant Diageo who use it as the “Lowland”corner of what they call the “four corners distilleries” The other three are Clynelish (Highland) Cardhu (Speyside) and Caol Ila (Island) and they are all used in the making of the Johnnie Walker range of blended whiskies.Sign at Glenkinchie Distillery
Battle of the distilleries
We have a love hate relationship with Diageo. About thirty years ago the company also owned our local Rosebank Distillery just a few hundred yards from our home in Falkirk. It was generally seen as the King of Lowland whiskies, however they closed it in favour of  Glenkinchie … booo! It fell into a sorry state. This year, however, there were fanfares as Rosebank was opened again. Bought by Ian MacLeod Distillers who spent £millions returning it to its former glory. The town also has the added bonus of another brand new Falkirk Distillery. All is forgiven, hence we thought this rival might be worthy of a visit.
Internal view Glenkinchie Distillery
part of the visitor centre restaurant
Becoming legal
It began in 1825 by a couple of local farmers presumably trying o diversify away from farming. They ran it for about 12 years as Milton distillery before deciding to make it legal and renaming it Glenkinchie after the little river Kinchie which runs past it.
Window seat at Glenkinchie Distillery
looking out on to the gardens
Scones
Distillery tours are of no particular interest. They’re all much of a muchness so we decided to leave this one out. A scone st Glenkinchie DistilleryScones, of course are another matter and we had spotted some in their café restaurant earlier. The staff were very friendly and helpful and they so had us sorted with some fruit scones and coffee. No cream but there was plenty butter and jam served on nice crockery with unusual bronze cutlery. Everything was well presented and although it wasn’t a topscone it was very enjoyable nevertheless. Sign for Glenkinchie Distillery
 
Johnnie Walker is the world’s biggest selling scotch whisky brand with 205 million litres going down the hatch every year. That’s a lot of whisky and a fair amount of that must be made here at Glenkinchie. It is marketed under different coloured labels, red, black, green, blue etc. we’re not sure what the difference is except to say that ‘blue’ is four times the price of ‘red’, a marketing triumph!Whisky barrels at Glenkinchie Distillery
 
Troubled
We’re raising a glass of Glenkinchie to toast the health of all our readers in this strange and troubled world. Logo of glenkinchieThe ICC (International Criminal Court) has issued an arrest warrant for Israel’s Benjamin Netanyahu. Not before time many might say. He is now classed as a ‘fugitive’ along with Mad Vlad Putin. We live in peculiar times when the leaders of Israel and Russia are international fugitives and America’s President Elect is a convicted felon.  Another dram please and make it a large one!
 
EH34 5ET          tel: 01875 342012            Glenkinchie Distillery
 
///gravitate.bongo.talking
Ordinary, Scones, self-service

Dynamic Earth

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The title picture is of Dynamic Earth in Edinburgh with the Salisbury Crags and Arthur’s Seat in the background. Obviously you want to know the age of Arthur’s Seat, everyone does, don’t they? It’s a 346 million year old extinct volcano, give or take a couple of million. Back then, fire and lava would have been spewing everywhere!  But,of course, that all happened when Scotland was much closer to the equator than it is today … obviously!  Another old Celtic explanation is that a huge dragon used to terrorise the city until one day it ate too much,  lay down to sleep and turned into the Arthur’s Seat.  Today, looking up at the craggy hill, for some reason the dragon explanation seems much more believable.External view of Dynamic Earth

Awkward questions

The only reason we are able to furnish you with these little nuggets is because we’re here with a couple of granddaughters at the Dynamic Earth Science Centre and Planetarium. It tells the epic story of how planet earth began. The girls are always asking awkward questions so this seemed like the place to get some answers.Internal view of Dynamic Earth

You know how they say that the best place to start is at the beginning. Well. here you can enter a Time Machine which takes you all the way back to the Big Bang. The visual and sound effects are amazing. At one point you have to hang on to railings as the ground violently shifts and rumbles beneath your feet and volcanoes explode all around. Luckily, rather than millions of years, it only takes about 90 minutes to walk all the interactive experiences from the Big Bang back to the present day. However, you do emerge from the Time Machine with more than a touch of information overload.Lola and Ebba holding up the world

Facts and figures

Our 9 and 11 year old girls are fascinated by tectonic plates and how mountains and valleys are formed so this was ideal for them. Did you know that continents move 2cm every year? Did you know that 200,000 people are born ever day or that 2 people die every second? Well, if you didn’t, you do now!

These days, for Pat and I, information overload kicks in pretty early. What a relief then to find A cheese scone at Dynamic Earththat there was no thinking  or decisions required at the cafe. Cheese scones, take them or leave them!  We took them along with a bowl of lentil soup. The girls had a kiddies goodie bag which they emptied in double quick time.. The soup/cheese scone combo was surprisingly good and much easier digested than some of the rather mind boggling facts and figures. It was never going to be a topscone but enjoyable nevertheless.Internal view of Dynamic Earth

Differentiation

Our 11 year old is fascinated by Time Machines. When we suggested that she just wanted to go back to the beginning of time, we were emphatically corrected. “No. I just want to go back 70,000 years!” Okay, why just 70,000 years?. “Because that’s when human’s cognitive abilities developed so that they could differentiate themselves from other animals“. she explained in her serious voice. A slow “okaaay” was our only response. These girls are a constant source of surprise and joy.

Cognitive development
Lola holding up the world
Maybe she can save the world?

However, given that we have presumably been developing our cognitive skills over 70,000 years it makes the slanging match that characterises the American Presidential elections somewhat puzzling. You’d think, after all that time, that selecting the most powerful person on earth would be a tad more sophisticated.

But we should know by now that people are fickle. Australians, for example. Recently Lidia Thorpe protested during King Charles’s visit to Australia with “You are not my King“. Charlie’s official title is “King Charles the Third, by the Grace of God King of Australia and His other Realms and Territories, Head of the Commonwealth”. The question is why do people, particularly straight thinking Australians, put up with this sort of nonsense? Even the King himself, a thoroughly decent chap, looked embarrassed being reminded of Britain’s genocidal land grabbing tendencies. Privately, we suspect he would have been on Lidia’s side.

Now they are discussing dropping the word “Empire” from the King’s honours list. Could this be yet another attempt to sanitise Britain’s history. Perish the thought!

External view of Dynamic Earth
Starting to get dark as we left Dynamic Earth
Fungi?

The only slight disappointment to our day was the  Planetarium visit. We had always assumed that Planetariums only did things about planets.  On this occasion it was all about fungi! Interesting enough but not what we had expected. In terms of learning, we did learn not to make assumptions! An very enjoyable day of time travel for everyone concerned.

EH8 8AS         tel: 0131 550 7800             Dynamic Earth

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Ordinary, Scones

Cronies

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There are questions and answers in this post. For example … is vandalism still vandalism if it takes the form of a poem. Or, could it then take on some other cultural significance such as  ‘art’.  What if the poem itself is seen by some to be offensive or in poor taste? Okay, okay, there may be more questions than answers in this post from Cronies bar at the Golden Lion Hotel in Stirling.

Reception area at the Golden Lon Hotel
Reception at the Golden Lion

And, while we’re asking questions, do you know the collective noun for a group of cronies. We don’t either but some think it might be “The House of Lords”.

Internal view of the Golden Lon Hotel
Cronies Bar
Inscriptions

The ‘vandal’ in question, of course, is Robert Burns, Scotland’s national bard.  How could someone who wrote a celebration of friendship and memories with friends in “Auld Lang Syne” be a vandal? Not that difficult as it happens! 1786 turned out to be an eventful year for the ploughman poet.Logo of the Golden Lon Hotel Earlier in the year, the Earl of Glencairn had gifted him a diamond pointed pen. The intention probably was that he might inscribe some suitable ditty on one of his drinking glasses during dinner. Burns may well have done that but later he used his present to inscribe poems on windows all over Scotland. He even inscribed a window at the Cross Keys Inn, just a few hundred yards from our home in Falkirk. On this occasion, however, he was visiting Stirling Castle and staying at the newly opened Golden Lion.Commemorative plaque in Cronnies bar

Power

The poem in question had no name but has since become known simply as “The Stirling Lines“. In it he displayed Jacobite leanings and his dislike of Hanoverian Royalty and George III in particular. Such was the furore that followed he was forced to return a few months later and smash the offending window to avoid prosecution. So to some, the Stirling Lines poem was ‘art’ but, obviously, to George III ( generally thought to be deranged) and his cronies it was just “libellous vandalism”. And they had the power to make things extremely difficult for the poet.

Painting of Burns with his cronies
Burns with some of his cronies at the Golden Lion

We wonder if the hotel made Burns pay for a replacement window because it has been dining out on the poem ever since. The words are inscribed all over the place.  And we are here dining out on scones in Cronies Bar as well. It’s a comfortable atmospheric space – you could almost imagine Burns and his cronies at the next table in lively discussion over the problems of the day.

A scone at the Golden Lon HotelThe staff were very friendly and soon had us equipped with some fruit scones, nicely presented with little jars of jam and cream as well as a couple of delicious Puro coffees. Both scones were lovely and warm and mine was perfect. However, we thought the jam and cream portions were a bit on the meagre side and Pat felt that a bit of her scone was slightly undercooked. What are we like? Moan, moan, moan! No topscone but pretty close.

Wood carving commemorating wee courin' timorous beastie poem
A large wood carving depicting the ploughman poet and his “Timorous Beastie” poem
Mad

So even back in the 18th century things could be a bit mad politically.  Today we have the UK government sending £millions in Humanitarian Aid to a destroyed Gaza to alleviate the disaster they helped create. We are tempted to agree with George Bernard Shaw when he said “the older I get, the more convinced I am that this planet is being used by other planets as a lunatic asylum.” Burns would have probably have agreed!

FK8 1BD          tel: 01786 475351            Cronies Bar

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ps In our last post from Macmillan Coffee Morning we said we would update you on the final amount raised.. It was £4,810.05 … fantastic! Many many thanks to everyone for their amazing generosity and helping make it such a happy enjoyable event.