All posts by billpaterson1@me.com

Hettie’s Tearoom

Logo of Hettie's TearoomWe’re on a mission! And, unbelievably perhaps, it’s not for a scone. We are trying to find where my grandfather, John McKinnon, was born. I never knew him but some information has come to light recently so we’re on his trail. He was born at the Heights of Fodderty  just north of Inverness. That’s a long way, 170 miles. We know that our Aussie correspondents would regard this as comparable to a trip to the shops but for us it’s a long way. A stop was required round about the half way mark. That’s why we’re here in Hettie’s Tearoom in Pitlochry.Blackboard at Hettie's Tearoom

Remember our recent somewhat disastrous visit to Woodlea Cafe where chaos reigned and the scones were inedible? Well, this place is the exact opposite. It was busy but the chap at the counter welcomed us and said “I’m sure we can find you a nice wee table somewhere“. Already we were feeling good. The staff here know exactly what they were doing and seem happy doing it … great! 

Oo Oo!

A fruit scone to share was our order. Pat chose a coffee and I chose Oo Oo Butterfly Blue tea. Egg timer at Hettie's TearoomApparently it’s supposed to help you “fly through a bright sunny day” … just the ticket! Hettie’s tearoom is super enthusiastic about tea and they send their special tea blends all over the world. Obviously my tea was loose leaf and came with its own egg timer so that I would know when it was suitable infused. They even give you a second saucer in case you want to remove the little basket of tea leaves. How thoughtful.External view of Hettie's Tearoom

Red kites

We’re always on the lookout for birds and as we sat there we pondered on why we hardly ever see  red kites. And when we do occasionally  see them they always seem to be in relatively small geographical pockets. We reckoned it had to have something to do with them being a reintroduced species but then our attention was interrupted by the arrival of our scone. It was deliciously fresh and came with small pots of jam and cream. They don’t even ask if you want cream it just comes automatically. They know how to do things at Hettie’s Tearoom. Not very crunchy but thoroughly enjoyable nevertheless. Overall this was a delightful experience … topscone!

toilet directions at Hettie's Tearoom
Multilingual directions to the toilets – cludgie is Glaswegian
McKenzies

Grandfather's birthplace at DochnaclearYou probably don’t want to know about my grandfather but we are going to tell you what little we know anyway. It illuminates an era which was not very long ago but now seems like a completely different world. We have never been to the Heights of Fodderty before and it was something of an adventure along almost impassible roads trying to find the house at Dochnaclear where he was born. John’s mother was a McKenzie and believe it or not McKenzie’s still live there. 

Spooky

A red kitePicture of a stagAnd equally unbelievable they run a very successful taxidermy service specialising in red deer. We hadn’t expected that! In one of the large outhouses they showed us a room full of stuffed red deer heads with magnificent antlers all ready for shipment to Dubai. It’s difficult not to feel conflicted about this sort of thing, but given that there are far too many of these fabulous creatures in Scotland doing untold damage to our forests and woodlands. we can just about handle it. And guess what, as we stood chatting a couple of red kites were wheeling overhead … spooky or what? Later we went to the schoolhouse where my great grandfather signed the register for his son’s birth with his mark.

Fodderty schoolhouse
Fodderty old schoolhouse with the mark (copied from the certificate) my great grandfather used
The laird, the doctor and the minister

It had never occurred to me before that members of my family would have been unable to read or write. It’s perfectly obvious, of course, when you think about it. Back then reading and writing was probably the preserve of the laird, the doctor and the minister. Anyway, John eventually moved to Fort Augustus where he married my grandmother, Catherine McDonald, in 1914. I never knew her either because she died four years later giving birth to my mother and her twin sister.

It seems almost inconceivable nowadays that John was left on his own with twin baby girls and their slightly older sister. Nowadays we take so much for granted. There was no NHS back then and social services must have been rudimentary at best. Presumably the local community would have stepped in to help him because all three girls grew up to be very fine women. He died in 1938.

Mission accomplished, we felt very satisfied with our day!

PH16 5AB          tel: 01796 473991            Hetties

///hurricane.including.menu

ps: In our wandering along the Heights of Fodderty we unexpectedly came across the Neil Gunn memorial. He is one of my favourite authors but one which I normally associate with Helmsdale, about 100 miles north of here. Turns out he spent the latter part of his live just a couple of hundred yards away from where my grandfather was born. It’s a small world! We also named our eldest daughter (by 5 mins) Kirsty, after a character in his book The Silver Darlings.

Neil Gunn Memorial
The Neil Gunn memorial with the Cromarty Firth and Dingwall in the distance

He wrote in the mornings and spent the afternoons walking. Looking at the state of the world today we will leave you with one of Gunn’s observations as he walked his beloved Heights of Fodderty.

“For at the end of the day, what’s all the bother about?  Simply about human relations, about how we are to live one with another on the old earth. That’s all, ultimately. To understand one another, and to understand what we can about the earth, and, in the process, gather some peace of mind and, with luck, a little delight.”

Fonab 600

We’ve been here several times before and as most of you know, we reckon Fonab Castle serves the best scones in the world. It is our benchmark scone. But why Fonab 600 we hear you ask? It’s simply that this is our 600th scone since we started this blog back in 2015. Unbelievable, 600 scones and yet Pat still has the figure of a teenager and I am still compared to a “racing snake”. I’m sure that this doesn’t refer to my ability to move fast these days so it has to be a reference to my sylph-like figure.Internal view of Fonab Castle

Who is PM today?

It’s a milestone so, of course, what better way to mark the occasion than check that our benchmark scones are still up to scratch.  Last time we did this was back in 2018. The Prime Minister of the day (we’ve had so many it’s like ‘soup du jour’ when it come to the Tories) was delivering a speech on withdrawal from the EU which totally ignored the wishes of the people of Scotland. Unfortunately, judging by recent events in the House of Commons, nothing has changed in the intervening years. But would Fonab’s scones have changed? That was the question facing us.

The Brasserie at Fonab Castle
The Brasserie

You are also aware that we don’t just judge the scones. Service, presentation, ambience are all key ingredients for a topscone. Fonab is a bit posh but it doesn’t have to be. As long as it’s an overall nice experience we may very well dish out our top award.  

Tea

When we arrived at Fonab  we were immediately welcomed and shown to a table overlooking Loch Faskally and lofty  Ben Vrackie. When we asked for our traditional ‘cream tea’ they said it might take about twenty minutes to prepare the scones. “would that be okay?” Of course! We settled down to peruse the tea menu. Pat decide on “Orange Blossom –  a citrusy symphony in your teacup“.  I went for the “Fonab Blend – a bespoke tea offering a bright and medium bodied cup with subtle aftertaste of hibiscus and rosehip“. Honestly, it’s getting as fantastical as whisky descriptions.

View from Fonab Castle
View from our table over Loch Faskally
Competition

After about twenty minutes our scones turned up about as fresh as it’s possible to get. cream tea at Fonab CastleInitially we thought they had been a trifle overdone but once again they were perfect. Beautifully warm, crunchy on the outside and wonderfully soft on the inside. Presentation with crisp linen napkins and little pots of jam and cream was second to none. Once again Fonab had managed to retain its position in spite of severe competition. Places such as Ackergill Tower in Wick Claridge’s in London and Schloss Roxburghe in the Scottish border country have tried hard but ultimately failed.

Artwork at Fonab CastleA lot has happened in the course of 600 scones. When we started David Cameron had just gained power for the conservatives. We’ve had another four conservative PMs since then but Cameron is probably still PM, albeit from the backseat. Scottish MPs seeking independence won 56 out of 59 Westminster seats … a fat lot of good that did! Scotland still has a majority wanting independence but don’t hold your breath. Scotland and the Falkland Islands are about all that’s left of the Empire.

If we had any sense we would give up now but, as you are very well aware, we are not over-endowed in that department. Lowly scones have taken us to places we would never otherwise have been and for that we are grateful. They have enriched our lives. But who knows, we might give up if Fonab ever gets knocked off its perch.

PH16 5ND          tel: 01796 470140             Fonaab Castle

///soup.material.newsreel

Woodlea Cafe

This post is about the folly of not preparing sufficiently. We came here to the Woodlea Cafe because of a recommendation from Tracy at The Bruce Arms in Limekilns. She had also recommended Ale and Pate in Dalgety Bay and that had proved very successful. Obviously Tracy had good taste in scones so we had high hopes for this place.Fruit and veg at Woodlea Cafe

Sun-dried tomato scones?

The cafe is part of a farm shop on the outskirts of the small mining village of Crossgates in Fife. The local football team is  Crossgates Primrose, which plays at Humbug Park. First thing in the farm shop is a butcher’s shop specialising in game. It’s run by a very friendly chap who used to be a gamekeeper in his native Hungary. Then you pass through between large wooden benches laid out with fruit and veg before coming to the bakery. Unbelievably it had sun-dried tomato, cheese and garlic, cherry and almond, blueberry, fruit and plain scones on display. Variety of scones at Woodlea CafeThey all looked great and the lady assured us that she had been up since 4am baking them specially for us. She was laughing as she told us but we absolutely believed her. I really fancied trying the sun-dried tomato scones but she said that she supplied the cafe next door so we decided to go there. As we were leaving, with a slightly perplexed look on her face, she calleded “It’s under new management“. Didn’t make much sense at the time but later on it absolutely did! Internal view of Woodlea Cafe

Disappointment

There were none of the sun-dried tomato scones that we had seen earlier but they did have fruit, cheese/garlic and cherry/almond. Pat went for cheese and I for cherry. We also asked for a bowl of soup and coffees to go with the scones. The girl at the counter wrote down the order meticulously then we went to find a seat.Logo of Woodlea Cafe

Very soon we realised that all was not well. People were leaving and calling to the staff “Just cancel our order“.  After half an hour we were preparing to do the same when a lady appeared and asked us what we would like …. argh!

We reordered and after another wait the scones arrived. Just scones on a plate, no jam, no butter, no napkins and obviously no cream. When one of the servers asked if everything was okay we said that we would rather have the soup before the scones. She said “of course” and after yet another wait the soup arrived but without spoons. We said we needed spoons for the soup and were told “of course” and they duly arrived … along with some forks?? The soup was quite good but it needed seasoning. However, the thought of asking for salt and pepper or even butter for the bread was too much for us to handle.

More disappointment

Scone at Woodlea CafeBy this time we were settling in for what was obviously a farcical pantomime happening before our very eyes. People were still leaving. Some having not received any food and others because they had received some but had given up waiting for the rest. Having to ask for butter and jam for the scones topped it all off. Eventually we received two lots of butter from two different servers but in spite of asking three times for jam we never ever got any.  The scones turned out to  have been kept in the freezer overnight and were pretty much inedible. All in all this was a complete disaster. If we didn’t know differently we would have sworn that the UK government was running this place. 

Systemless

Frangipane at Woodlea CafeActually, it was a shame. The manageress kept going around telling people that this was only their second day as if to excuse the utter shambles. However, the staff were trying really hard and some may have even been close to tears. They wanted to do well but simply hadn’t a clue how to do it. The problem was that there was no system and obviously no meaningful training. The stuff that actually emerged from the kitchen looked fine so it all seemed just a dreadful waste.

The manageress, who, along with her husband, turned to be the ‘new management’ was desperately trying to placate everyone. However, we know all too well just how difficult hospitality can be so we try not to criticise negatively. We had a chat with the manageress who was like a rabbit caught in the headlights. We advised her that the best thing she could do was close and open up again once they had themselves sorted out. Hopefully she does because it could be a great place. She didn’t charge for the scones.

Rise and Fall

If you thought our comment earlier regarding the UK government was harsh, it really wasn’t. Can’t remember the last time they got anything right. Unfortunately, although there is to be a General Election this year, none of the alternatives inspire any confidence either. Britain’s problems are deep seated … we seem to be witnessing the Fall bit of the Rise and Fall of the British Empire.

KY11 7ER                        Woodlea Cafe

///grin.buggy.disengage

Day Dream Mine

Advert for Day Dream Mine toursWhen we started this blog all these years ago we never dreamt that we would be reporting on scones from a defunct silver mine called the Day Dream Mine. Obviously we’re not dreaming. Yes, of course, our itinerant Toowoomba correspondents are on the road again just wandering from scone to scone across the Australian outback. Here the scones can be quite far apart so are all the more welcome when they appear.

Australian outback
On this road from Broken Hill to Silverton they came across a rare cap tree

At Day Dream they seem to have decided that some people may not want to venture down a mineshaft but they sure as hell won’t miss a scone.

In their own words:

“We have driven 4000kms for these scones! We have had a couple of nights in Broken Hill, Western NSW. Broken Hill is an inland mining city, mainly of silver ore. It was always referred to as “The Silver City”. It is pretty much surrounded by desert. Sign for the Daydream MineThe colours of the area are very muted, red soil and grey foliage.
We drove about 20 kms north of BH towards Silverton to a derelict mine called “Day Dream Mine “ – where that name comes from I would not hazard a guess! However, the sign in the gate tempted us to go through. To be honest the experience was pretty underwhelming! The fact that we paid over $70 to walk around rocks and dust looking down a few holes was not terribly exciting. I did venture down the mine shaft, narrow, dark, steep and at last, cool!

A miner at Day Dream Mine
Miners worked by candlelight

It did make me think of the years gone by when men were men and very tough at that. Their lives must have been hell. Scones at the Daydream MineThe bonus after all that was when you reached the top – waiting was a mug of tea and freshly baked scone and “real” cream. Not sure that we would hurry back for that experience again, but you always meet interesting people in these places. On to Silverton from there – the frontier setting for such movies as Mad Max, Priscilla – Queen of the Desert, Razorback and the list goes on!”

External view of Silverton Hotel

The list may well go on but none of these movies can be described as “homely” or even “normal”. Just as well our correspondents have scones to keep them on the straight and narrow!

It would appear that it’s called the Day Dream Mine because the miners used to grow poppies … nuff said! Anything to make the working conditions slightly more bearable. 

NSW 2880         tel: +61 427 885 682               Day Dream Mine

///connected.coats.mayhem

Ale & Pate

How did we end up here at Ale & Pate in Dalgety Bay? You know how sometimes we go to the cinema in the morning and then go on somewhere in the afternoon. This is one of those days. Logo of Ale & Pate, Dalgety Bay

Weird films

We went to see the movie “Poor Things” at the Hippodrome in Bo’ness. There’s been a lot of fuss about it recently but we still weren’t sure if we actually wanted to see it. It’s almost two and a half hours long and when it finished we were kind of left wondering what we had seen. Set in a fantastical 19th century with gorgeous sets and brilliant acting it’s sort of hypnotically fascinating to watch and a bit weird all at the same time. We think we are glad to have seen it although not 100% sure.

Afterwards we thought we would follow the advice we had received when we posted from the The Bruce Arms in Limekilns. Tracy, the barmaid, had highly recommended the scones at Ale & Pate in Dalgety Bay. Although it is not more than half and hour by car from home we had never been there. The main road skirts past the town so unless you have a good reason to visit you just don’t. We’ve never had a reason … until now!

Originally it was just the little fishing village of Dalgety but then it was redeveloped in 1962 and became Dalgety Bay. Interestingly (or not) the tiny village of Dalgety (pop 252) almost became the capital of Australia. Not this one but one in New South Wales.  Eventually, in 1908, it lost out to Canberra. Boo, we would have voted for Dalgety!

Internal view of Ale & Pate, Dalgety BayBack in Scotland we were trying to find our destination amongst all the 60s style houses that give it that kind of “new town” look. Eventually we tracked it down to a small utilitarian looking unit in the middle of a housing estate. It was above a fish and chip shop, sandwiched between a couple of Indian restaurants and next door to a dental practice. We didn’t know what we had expected but it wasn’t this! Internal view of Ale & Pate, Dalgety Bay

Anyway, if we had any lingering doubts about the place they were soon placated by our first sight of the scones – they just looked fab!Scones at Ale & Pate, Dalgety Bay

Weird scones

There was a choice of “fruit” or goodness gracious, “date and orange”. It had to be one of each. Pat was already making favourable noises by the time I got started on mine. Lately, we’ve had a run of what we term “weird scones”. Scone at Ale & Pate, Dalgety BayNot nasty weird, just different. There was “cranberry” scones at The Bruce Arms then ‘milk chocolate and strawberry’ scones at Callendar House, and now ‘date and orange’. What is going on – weird films, weird scones? No cream but both these really fresh scones had been gently warmed and mine even had a drizzle of icing on top … delicious. Our original disappointment at first sight of Ale & Pate was more than compensated by the friendly service and the excellent scones. Yet another topweird scone.

Not having been in Dalgety Bay before we decided to explore after leaving Ale & Pate. For all its ‘newness’ it does have a fair bit of history. Things would have been very different here over the centuries. DalgetyBay is built on Donibristle Estate, the seat of the Earls of Moray .

Donibristle stables
This was just the stable block for the Earls of Moray at Donibristle House. Now it is private apartments

In fairness it has to be said that there were fewer witches burned in Dalgety than in other villages along this Fife coast. Having said that in 1649, Isobel Kelloch was put to death. She had offered a head scarf to another woman who then suffered a headache. At the same time, and perhaps in the interests of equality, they also burned Robert Maxwell. He was considered an “ignorant” man and a warlock. Imagine how many people we could do away  with if these views still prevailed? The mind boggles!

The beach at Dalgety Bay
Dalgety Bay with Inchcolm Island (pop 2) in middle distance and Edinburgh far right
Weird world
As well as our weird films and weird scones the whole world just seems a bit weird at the moment. The UK and the US both have elections this year. On this side of the pond we have Rishi Sunak. He just seems happily detached from reality. In opposition we have Keir Starmer. He is used to know reality but now denies that he ever did. On the other side of the pond we have Joe Biden whose reality is a now a care home. And, in opposition, Donald Trump who thinks reality isn’t actually real.
 
But never mind all that, as long as all we have to worry about is weird scones, we won’t worry too much! Our thanks go to Tracy at The Bruce Arms for an excellent heads up on Ale & Pate and giving us a reason to visit Dalgety Bay. In spite of searching we failed to find the harbour … we know, how can you not find a harbour? In our defence, at Buckhaven we also failed to find the harbour, so we are experts!. Some day, we will have to return. Watch this space.
 
KY11 9NH       tel: 01383 821599         Ale & Pate FB
 
///myself.half.backyards

Appleseed Cafe

Although Strathalbyn where the Appleseed Cafe is situated sounds very Scottish, it’s not. It’s about 50 miles east of Adelaide in South Australia. It was only last December that our Toowoomba correspondents reported from Bakearoma in the Australian outback. They were making light of the fact that they had made a one day round trip of over 600 miles for a scone. Something they thought us lily livered northern hemisphere folks wouldn’t do. Of course, they were absolutely right. Now they’ve gone even further to the Appleseed Cafe in Strathalbyn.

Australian cattle transporter trucks
Our correspondents are always bragging about something. They sent this photo of Australian double decker cattle trucks going to market. Luckily Scotland is smaller and we can just walk our cattle over the lovely heather clad hills singing as we go!
Vagabonds

They seem to have taken up a sort of Aussie vagabond existence, just wandering around from billabong to billabong or, in their case, vineyard to vineyard in Southern Australia. We last heard from them in Melbourne when they were ate the tennis Open. We suggested that they should visit the  cast iron Corio Villa in Geelong just down the coast from Melbourne. And they did!

Corio Villa, cast iron house in Geelong
Manufactured in Scotland in 1851 and shipped as a flat pack to Geelong for William Nairn Grey who died before it arrived. It was erected in 1855 and is still a private residence.

Cakes at Appleseed Cafe Strathalbyn

Don’t really know why our correspondents are now in Strathalbyn except it is the unofficial antique centre of South Australia. It all seems very Scottish. Obviously, during the Highland Clearances lots of Scots were displaced off their land  in favour of more profitable sheep … and they had to go somewhere. Around the same time Australia was a penal colony and many British criminals were sent there as punishment although we can’t imagine that any of them were Scots!

In our correspondents own words:
St Andrews church Strathalbyn
St Andrew’s church

“You may have considered our recent 350 kms to Roma for tea and scones rather excessive   –  we have gone one better this time. 1500 kms to Strathalbyn in South Australia seemed a good idea at the time. Long straight roads, a reliable car and me being co-driver had to be an asset!  Strathalbyn where we found the Appleseed cafe, was founded in 1839; the first landholders being Dr Rankine, followed my Don McLean (unsure if it is the “American Pie” Don McLean….).   The community was the centre for farming and pastoral families, many of Scottish origin.  We were told that the church, St Andrew’s Uniting Church, was completed in 1844 by Scottish Presbyterians and that it is a focal point of the town.

A sign at Appleseed Cafe StrathalbynScottish is best

We were happy for a stopover here – a scone seemed a good accompaniment to the much needed coffee.  I must say I can’t wait to have  another scone in Scotland. No one seems to be able to cook them quite like Mum or the Scottish!  It was a nice change to have real cream rather than that A scone at Appleseed Cafe Strathalbynaerated fluff that comes from a spray can!  The strawberry jam was up to scratch though.


I would not dare to comment on anything political in this country at present – would be no stopping me once I got started. Must say though, there is something to be said about the crowds reaction to our PM at the Australian Open tennis recently.  Did it give him some indication as to where he is going (or not going) ???

Boo

For those who were unaware … when the Aussie PM attended the Open tennis he was loudly booed by the crowd. We actually thought booing politicians was just one of the national sports down under. Imagine if we were all to do that? We would be truly spoiled for choice. In fact it’s quite difficult to think of any we wouldn’t boo!

With their wandering habits and sense of fun we have no difficulty identifying with our Toowoomba correspondents. We are indebted, as always, to them for keeping us informed of events at the Earth’s bottom.

SA 5255        tel: +61 8 8536 8195        Appleseed Cafe

///dawn.decks.faithless

Callendar House 3

We’ve reviewed the scones at Callendar House twice before,  once in 2015 and again in 2017. With a seven year gap we thought readers  would be ready for an update.

Wall covering in Callendar House
Wall covering in the tearoom

Callendar House, which used to be owned by the Forbes family, lies about a hundred yards south of the Antonine Wall which the Romans built all the way across Scotland. It formed the northern edge of their Empire. The southern edge was bounded by Arabia and the Sahara desert. They regarded everything south of the Antonine Wall as “civilised” and everything north as “barbaric and more bother than it’s worth”. The Romans are long gone but that view hasn’t changed much over the intervening two millennia. FYI, our house lies on the civilised side … obviously!

Dangers of crinoline dresses

Actually, we just decided to take a walk round the small loch that lies to the east of the house. Something we hadn’t done in a long time. Back in the day, all grand houses had a loch of their own and it wasn’t simply a conceit on the part of the owners. In the absence of any kind of organised public fire fighting service a loch was seen as essential as a readily available water supply in the event of an inferno.

Probably not much use when people like Oliver Cromwell were deliberately trying to set fire to the place but even in peace times, conflagrations  were seen as relatively likely given the number of ladies in crinoline dresses swishing about in front of open fires under a multitude of candelabras. Of course, even if you had your own loch, it would still have been difficult if there was only you and a bucket. You needed servants and lots of them but, of course, that wasn’t a problem for the aristocracy.

Gentrification

If you’ve ever had ambitions, or even just wondered how to become an aristocrat perhaps we can help.  Back in 1783 Callendar House and the Estate that encompassed most of Falkirk was being sold by auction. The Earl of Errol (an oven ready aristocrat) had high ambitions at the auction but was eventually outbid by an upstart scrap merchant, one William Forbes, from Aberdeen. Eyebrows were raised. Not only that, in true scrap merchant style, he pulled the cash from his hip pocket and paid for it on the spot. Subsequently he became Sir William Forbes, 1st Lord of Callendar … and that’s how you join the aristocracy. Common as muck one day and a Knight of the Realm the next! Probably wasn’t quite like that but you catch our drift.Internal view of Callendar House

A new experience

Although Callendar House is pretty much in the centre of Falkirk most towns folk had never been anywhere near it. The Forbes kept it very private. However, in 1963 the local Council took it over, opened it up to the public and established a cafe for non-aristocrats like ourselves. After our walk it was nice to get inside and settle down with some coffee. And we could either have a plain or, surprise, surprise, a milk chocolate and strawberry scone. In the interests of expanding  reader’s sconological knowledge we rather tentatively opted for the latter.

View from tearoom in Callendar House
View from the tearoom


On previous visits we have been quite critical of this tearoom. To us, it never seems to ever reach its full potential. We could still level that accusation now but at least on this occasion there were staff on hand and we were attended to promptly and quite pleasantly if not smilingly.  Still no cream but the scone itself was really nice … no crunchiness but fresh and moist. With this combination there was really no need for jam or cream, it was delicious just with a little butter. A topweird scone!

Provost lamps at Callendar House
Newly refurbished cast iron Provost lamps installed at the back of the house
Agreements

In 1565 the marriage agreement between Mary Queen of Scots and the French Dauphin, Francis was signed in Callendar House. External view of Callendar HouseIt provided that Scotland and France should eventually be united as one kingdom,  We all know how that went. Since then Scotland has been in Europe and then back out again … better to hold onto something if you are starting to feel a bit dizzy. Westminster has now reached some sort of agreement in N.Ireland to restore power-sharing at Stormont. It seems Westminster is going to try to persuade the EU that nothing has changed and that N. Ireland is still in the EU rather than the UK while simultaneously persuading everyone else of the opposite. With Westminster’s well honed skills in duplicity, they may well succeed!

FK1 1YR          tel: 01324 503775         Callendar House Tearoom

///wishes.dozen.parks

Braco Coffee

Braco Coffee is in the pretty little of village of Braco (pronounced break-o) population about 500. You would be forgiven for thinking that nothing much has ever happened here but you would be wrong.

On the outskirts of the village lies Fort Ardoch, a long abandoned Roman fortification. There’s only grass covered mounds these days to denote where the walls once were. Diagram of Roman helmetOnce while walking by the river we could hear distant commands “sinister dexter, sinister dexter.” Eventually it got much louder and a platoon of marching Roman Legionnaires appeared. They were in full costume and carrying spears with a commanding officer at the front giving them their marching orders. We spoke to them and apparently this is what some men do instead of going to football on a Saturday afternoon. They just march around for a bit, then go home again. We don’t understand either but they seemed very happy.

Damned cows!

But never mind the Romans, more importantly, my mum lodged here during WWII when she worked in forestry. 

My mum lodged in one of these houses with a lovely lady called Jessie Allan

My dad was in forestry as well and Braco is where they did all their courting.  Apparently on one of their dates my dad left his BSA motorbike in a field. When they returned (from wherever they had been 🥴) the straw stuffed saddle of the bike had been eaten by a cow.  We tell you this to illustrate the fact that without this wee village this blog might never have materialised. Unthinkable, we know. Logo of Braco Coffee

Somewhere as salubrious as Braco Coffee wouldn’t have been available to dad back then hence mum’s invite to a field. Even if it had been, words like “cuppocinno”, “americano” or “flat white” would have been absolutely meaningless to them. We pass through Braco quite often and have had this place in our sights for a while. The clincher came when the Laird reported the cakes as excellent though he wasn’t sure about the scones. Obviously we had to check!Internal view of Braco Coffee

There was a steady stream of people coming and going  so we had to wait a wee while to place our order at the counter. A scone atBraco CoffeeNormally these cafes are staffed by young girls but here it seemed to be all young lads. Anyway, it didn’t take them long to have us sorted with our coffees and a fruit scone. There wasn’t any cream and the butter and jam was all prepacked but the scone itself was really good. We thoroughly enjoyed it. Not quite topscone but close.

Memories

Afterwards I took Pat a couple of hundred yards along the road to the Pack Horse Bridge. It’s tucked away behind the more modern road bridge over the river Knaik. Pat was surprised and swore she had never seen it before and wasn’t even aware that it existed.It was built around 1650 and must have been the main crossing point for the river for many years. It’s only about four feet wide with very low stone parapets so it must have been interesting taking horses over it.

The Pack Horse Bridge in Braco
Built around 1650 as Ardoch bridge but now known as the Pack Horse Bridge

When we got home I looked up my photo library because I was sure that I had photographed it in the past. Sure enough I had a picture from 2006 … with Pat and the rest of our family standing on it. Such is our memories these days!

Pack Horse Bridge at Braco
Before Health & Safety … now you are not allowed to walk over it
Travelling

As if that wasn’t enough Braco based anecdotes, here is one last one … promise. Given the problems in Gaza and Israel’s genocidal tendencies it made me think of a conversation about Braco when I was a mere sapling. My brother and I were working for my dad during school holidays when one of the elderly estate workers joined us while we were eating our packed lunches. He told us, when he was our age he was an estate worker in Braco with a 7am start to his working day. At that time he lived six miles away in the village of Muthill. When we asked him how he got to and from his work he said in his broad Scottish accent “oh aye, I just travelled“. Puzzled we asked if he maybe cycled or got a bus. “No” he insisted “I travelled“.

Misunderstanding

After some more probing it eventually dawned on us that by “travelled” he meant he walked. He walked six miles to his work in the morning and six miles back again at night. We hadn’t thought of that! The only reason I’m telling you this is that it was the first time I became aware of the vagaries of language. There we were, all speaking the same language but totally misunderstanding each other.

It’s why I’ve always been amazed by the EU, a union designed to stop wars but consisting of countries speaking twenty four different languages. Prior to the EU these countries used to fight like ferrets in a sack so the room for misunderstanding was immense. And yet it has been phenomenally successful at what it was designed to do. Maybe they should make Israel a member … after all it’s in Eurovision but we’d far rather they find some other solution.

FK15 9PX         tel: 01786 880 333          Braco Coffee

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Bruce Arms

Well here we are, deep in 2024 already. We hope it’s going to be a good one for everyone. With fast fading memories of Christmas dinner – turkey, stuffing and cranberry sauce etc, what better way to celebrate our first scone of the year than with a cranberry one. Yes, a cranberry scone! Cranberries are just one of the many weird and wonderful things that appear once a year along with trees in your living room and puddings you set fire to. The Bruce Arms, here in Limekilns, clearly had a lot left over because there was only plain or cranberry scones on offer.

Sign for the Bruce Arms in LimekilnsIn previous visits to Limekilns we have visited the Sundial Cafe and Coorie By The Coast, but never here. When we walked in the barmaid asked “are you in for lunch?” We said “no, just wondering if you could give us coffee and a cranberry scone?” As she stood behind  a Ferrero Roche style pyramid of cranberry scones beside the large barista style coffee machine, she answered  with a curious smile “maybe!” When we first arrived at the Bruce Arms it felt a bit lacking in atmosphere but now we had a funny feeling this visit might be a bit different. And so it was!

Assumptions

We assumed that the Bruce Arms would have taken its name from Scotland’s famous King and all round good guy, Robert the Bruce. Turns out not to be the case. It’s named after one Thomas Bruce-Brudenell, Earl of Ailesbury whose family were landowners around here in the 17th century. His main contribution during his earthly existence seems to have been naming things after himself. There’s another Bruce Arms in Tanfield on another estate he owned not far from Newcastle in the north of England. Internal view of the Bruce Arms in Limekilns

Living in a small village

Anyway, Tracy the barmaid soon had us sorted with everything. There wasn’t any cream but our scone came with plenty butter. She’d also given us raspberry jam because that was her favourite.  As we sat there it soon became clear that Tracy knew everyone who came in. Not only that she also knew everything about them. We were soon very well acquainted with all their ailments as well as their next hospital and doctor appointments … fascinating! We weren’t eavesdropping, we just couldn’t help but hear! On the plus side there was no talk of deaths. And also, a pregnancy in the village, by all accounts, was going well.

Victorian photo of the Bruce Arms in Limekilns
Old Victorian photo of the Bruce Arms …. it hasn’t changed much!

Eventually, conversation got round to the ongoing saga that is the Post Office scandal. Although it’s been going on for almost thirty years it has only recently been brought to the forefront by a television drama “Mr Bates vs the Post Office”. Hundreds of Postmasters had their lives ruined, some jailed, by what turned out to be nothing more than a software error. The Post Office is wholly owned by the government so since the screening politicians have been falling over themselves to explain why they didn’t realise what was happening at the time. A scandal in itself. Everyone at the Bruce Arms thought it was an absolute disgrace. Eventually, however, we were asked for our opinion. 

A first

Suffice to say, Tracy ended up sitting at our table interrogating us about cranberry scones and pretty much everything else. We were able to tell her that the scones were great, much better than expected and might even have been topscones had there been cream and the jam and butter had not been prepackaged. Coffee was very good as well. In all our years doing this blog, this is the first cranberry scone we have ever come across. In such circumstances we decided to give it a topweird scone award. Well done the Bruce Arms.

Limekilns at Charlestown
The old disused lime kilns that give the village its name
Did you know?
Chalk comes from limestone and chickens fed on a diet that includes chalk lay hard eggs? Just the shells … you would still have to boil them for at least five minutes if you want them hard all the way through! Honestly, the things you learn on allaboutthescones.com!
 
Estonian Navy ship
The Bruce Arms ,the best pub in Britain. according to the Estonian Navy? Who are we to argue with the Estonian Navy
It was an absolute pleasure to chat to Tracy. We learned loads about the village, in the hour or so we were there, without asking a single question.  Just lovely open and honest people and we felt a real sense of community. It’s lovely to come on a place where everyone looks out for everyone else … we don’t see enough of that these days. We left feeling refreshed and trying to assimilate all our new found Limekilns knowledge.
Things to look forward to in 2024
  • Proper justice and compensation for all the wronged Postmasters. Some years ago I and a group of friends sailed to St Kilda. As soon as we landed the warden told us we should leave because a big storm was coming and this far out in the Atlantic was not a good place to be. One thing we had to do, however, was send a postcard home because of the unique franking mark you got at the Post Office. The Post Office is tiny. I bought a hat, a postcard and a stamp. Simple mental arithmetic could have totalled the cost in seconds but the old Postmaster insisted on writing it down on a piece of paper to add it all up. By the time he did that and then checked it twice the storm was imminent. But no software glitches here! 
  • A reduction in the influence of populist politicians like Trump and Johnson. To be a populist politician you need merely cater to the lowest denomination in your following. And every now and again throw them some red meat. Usually in the form of lies.
  • South Africa taking Israel to the International Criminal Court in The Hague charged with genocide. It’s odd that it has fallen to `South Africa to do this after all their struggles with apartheid. When we think of apartheid we think of Glasgow  in 1968. They renamed St George’s Place, Nelson Mandela Place. The South African embassy was housed there. All correspondence to the embassy then had to be addressed with the name of their most famous prisoner … genius!
  • More scones.Stags head hatstand at the Bruce Arms in Limekilns
 

KY11 3HL       tel: 01383 872259          Bruce Arms

///spared.surveyors.melon

Basecamp

Believe it or not we are still at Crieff Hydro for this post, or at least we’re still on the Crieff Hydro estate. Now, however, we are in Action Glen, about a five minute drive from the main hotel. And at the centre of Action Glen is the appropriately named Basecamp bar and cafe. Like all good basecamps it’s where you set out from on your daring adventures. It could be horse riding, off-roading, or even zip lining, There’s four zip lines side by side so you can have races.

Me on zip slide
Is it a bird, is it a plane, no it’s supersconey

Competing with the grandkids I always seemed to come last … greater wind resistance was the problem! So unfair!

Mysterious forces

Slide from the castleThere’s a very tempting giant maze where, if you really tried, you could easily lose grandkids! We have to say, ours had an uncanny knack of finding us again. There’s paddle boarding or fly fishing instruction … whatever takes your fancy really. Then there’s the Glen’s Fort where you can rock climb up to the top of the tower then whoosh down a metal tube back to ground level. There’s Segway experiences and huge inflated pillows you can bounce on. There’s even 4×4 driving for kids. Amidst all this non-stop fun, however,  we were delighted to discover that they also did some serious adult stuff … like scones. It wasn’t too long before we were drawn into the Basecamp cafe as if by some mysterious irresistible force. Ice cream seemed to have the same effect on the kids.Internal view of Basecamp

Unfortunately, the cafe was being manned single handedly by a chap who was completely out of his depth. He was probably supposed to be doing off-road driving instruction and had been told that he would have to do the cafe instead because the normal staff hadn’t turned up. It was all quite funny as he frantically rummaged around looking for things. As he wrestled with the orders the customers felt his frustration and were very supportive. Basecamp is a good place. All fairly basic but the kind of place you’re very pleased to get back to after all the outdoorsy stuff.

No worries

A scone at BasecampOkay, it’s not exactly  high altitude Everest Basecamp but nevertheless we felt a scone report would be appreciated by our fellow sconeys.  A fruit scone with some tea. was our relatively simple order. We took our scone to a table and waited for the tea … and waited …  and waited! Needless too say, our fish-out-of-water server had completely forgotten. No worries it all worked out in the end. No cream but the slightly over-cooked scone came with some prepacked butter and a generous portion of blackcurrant jam. Enjoyable enough but not a topscone. Who cares when you can just sit looking out towards distant Ben Vorlich. The kids didn’t share any of their ice cream but by all accounts it was very good.View from Basecamp

This is your intrepid sconey team for 2024. From Basecamp  we will venture forth into the nether regions of the world in search of topscones for another year. Wish us luck!Scenes at Basecamp

PH7 3LH        Basecamp cafe

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