All posts by billpaterson1@me.com

Ordinary, Scones

Food@34a

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At the risk of becoming repetitive and boring with our cinematic exploits … here’s another.  You are all aware by now that we have developed a rather sinful habit of going to our local cinema … in the morning! They even give you a cup of tea and a biscuit! How nice is that?

External view of the Hippodrome in Bo'ness
Hippodrome, Scotland’s oldest picture palace

In our defence, we do try and bring you a fresh scone with each of these outings … this time it’s the turn of Food@34a.

There are garages … and then there are garages

Timing wise, this morning was rather difficult because our car was booked in for its annual MOT. Our garage is out in the boonies but no need to worry. They said they would give us a lift to the cinema, MOT the car and pick us up afterwards. How nice is that? Sign at the Hippodrome cinema

This time the film was called “Till”. An excellent movie set in 1955. Based on a true story about a fourteen year old black boy, Emmett Till, moving from Chicago to Mississippi for the summer to be with his cousins. He met a horrendous end, however, at the hands of white supremacists. In essence though “Till” is about a mother’s love for a lost son. It was  extremely well done but we found it a difficult watch. It left us both a bit raw.

Hell

For some reason it always seems naughty to be coming out of the movies and then going for lunch. And since. they gave me an indulgent slice of caramel shortcake with my tea instead of a biscuit, I’m sure I’m going straight to hell.

Internal view of Food@34a in Bo'ness

Food@34a is directly opposite 1884, a cafe we reviewed five years ago. It’s a rather odd name and the external appearance cannot be described as particularly inviting. Inside, however, it was a different story … bright and clean and airy!  Problem was, however, all the tables were taken. We were just about to walk back out the door when a lady called over and said that we could have their table as they were about to leave. How nice was that?

As a bonus the table was at a window so we are able to look out at the traffic … yeah! A scone at Food@34a in Bo'nessHonestly, the ‘biscuit’ at the cinema was all we had had all day so we were ready for something more to eat. After an excellent bite of lunch we launched into the fruit scone we were sharing. It was nicely presented with little bowls of jam and butter. We asked our server if they had cream. She said that they sometimes did but she would go and find out. She returned very apologetically saying that they didn’t have any today. Disappointing but how nice was that?

We particularly liked the food and cheery helpful service at Food@34a and would not think twice about going back. Oddly, in the short time that we were there it went from completely full to pretty much empty. When the garage picked us up they had given the car a clean bill of health. How nice is that?

Coffee Time sign at Food@34a in Bo'nessEthics

In out previous post, Hope Street Cafe, we said that we couldn’t really understand why our PM, Rishi (couldn’t punch my way out of a paper bag) Sunak hadn’t fired his Party Chairman over his £4.8million tax oversight. Well he has gone now, but only because Rishi’s ethics adviser advised him to do so. Just the presence of an ethics adviser infers that Rishi is unable to tell right from wrong by himself. Now he has a couple of dozen bullying complaints about his Deputy, Dominic Raab to deal with. He’s appointed a high powered lawyer to help him with that. The Tories certainly love their scandals!

EH51 0EA          tel: 07380 600235           Food@34aFB

///fixture.melts.snares

ps: a newspaper in Fife has recently reported on a local man who was trying to sell a Roll On Deodorant.

An article about a local man trying to sell a roll on deodorant

And another headline “Pensioner’s Big Cock Becomes Tourist Attraction”.

Ordinary, Scones

Hope Street Cafe

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This post comes to you from the Hope Street Cafe in Bo’ness. It’s in Hope Street so you can see the thinking. Last time we were here was back in 2018 when it was called Brian’s Cafe. At that time the media were getting their knickers in a twist about a poisoning in Salisbury. A critic of the regime in Russia, Sergei Skripal and his daughter had been affected by nerve agents. They were in a critical condition. This gave rise to frenzied speculation about whether or not Vladimir Putin might be a bad man. Well, as you know, things have moved on.

Omnipotence

2018 saw Putin, along with President Xi of China manufacture situations where they could remain in power for as long as they liked. In the US, Donald Trump was busy trying to follow their example. In the UK, Theresa May was finding it impossible to leave her job as PM because no-one else would take it. Well, as you know, things have moved on.

Internal view of Hope Street Cafe, Bo'nessWe are at the Hope Street Cafe because it’s adjacent to the Hippodrome cinema where we had been to see “A Man Called Otto”. It’s about an elderly man who thinks that the whole world has gone mad and he is the only sensible person left. I asked Pat if Otto reminded her of anyone … she just smiled. Things are so bad for Otto he finds it impossible, in spite of multiple attempts, to successfully commit suicide. His own incompetence or interfering neighbours always get in the way. It was a good film worth seeing. We got out of the cinema around lunchtime so that’s why we’re here in the cafe.

Fruit

It’s a no-frills kind of place … and all the better for that. The staff seemed to know everyone and it had that sort of buzz tA scone at Hope Street Cafe, Bo'nesshat you get in places that are full of regulars. After a bite of lunch we got a scone to share. It was a fruit scone. We knew that because we could see two pieces of fruit. However, as far as fruit was concerned, that was it! As per usual, Pat took the top half. But, perhaps thinking I might be inspired by Otto, was trying to avert a suicide attempt when she insisted that I had both bits of fruit. It’s love! Short of fruit perhaps but the scone itself was really quite nice. Of course, it was never going to be a topscone.Internal view of Hope Street Cafe, Bo'ness

Forgetfulness

Having enjoyed our visit we emerged into Hope Street  to the news that our former Chancellor of the Exchequer, Zadhim Zahawi, had inadvertently forgotten to pay £4.8million in tax. Don’t you find it really annoying when that happens? You’ve filled in all the forms as best you can but completely forgotten about the £27million you had just been given from an off-shore trust  … damn! Easily overlooked!

Three weeks into 2023 and the US has had 40 mass shootings already. Goodness, no wonder Otto thought he was the only sensible person left!

EH51 0AA        tel: 01506 823815         Hope Street Cafe 

///bubble.paramedic.audio

Ordinary, Scones

Balbirnie House

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The other day, when we told a friend that we were going to Balbirnie House for scones and a seven course dinner, he said “You lucky bloggers” … at least, we’re pretty sure that’s what he said. Although the seven course dinner with matching wine flight was quite enticing what swung it for us was the promise of a cream tea on arrival. How could we resist?

The  hotel is only a thirty minute drive from home, in the Kingdom of Fife. “A beggar’s banquet fringed with gold“.. that’s how James VI of Scotland once described Fife. The “gold” referred to the lovely beaches all along its coastline. Balbirnie House is in the village of Markinch in central Fife … so that’ll be the begger’s banquet then! Could this be an omen for our dinner?

The Orangery at Balbirnie House
the Orangery

We did not want our cream tea to spoil our appetite for our ‘banquet’ so we arrived early in the afternoon. The spacious Orangery was where it was served. Scones at Balbirnie HouseOur scones were very good. A nice crunchy outer layer combined with a warm soft interior … just the way we like them. Plenty jam and cream so what was the problem? Just the size. Normally we expect to get two relatively small scones with a cream tea but these were just too big. Pat only managed one. I did my best with the second but was eventually beaten into submission. And there was another problem!

Size is everything?

The coffee was Nespresso which meant that it was good but served in small Nespresso cups. Even though we could get as many cups as we liked, we don’t think that these pod machines are appropriate for situations like this. It just seemed a bother to keep asking for more. A nice big pot of coffee is much better. Argh, so the scones were too big and the coffees were too small. Are we turning into grumpy old bloggers?

Internal view of Balbirnie House
after dinner drinks by the fire
Seven

Anyway, us ‘lucky bloggers’ had to report later on for dinner. If we couldn’t manage a couple of scones what would we be like with a seven course dinner. Logo of Balbirnie HouseAs we get older we no longer seem as able for huge feasts, hence we normally share everything. No need for sharing here though! Each course was ideally sized and consequently we got through all the courses without a problem. Helped, of course, by four different specially selected wines.

However, by the time we were finished we were absolutely stuffed.  We had to retire to one of the lounges for recuperation by a big log fire. This blogging game cannot be taken lying down … or maybe it should be?. No, it requires copious amounts of grit and determination, not to mention stamina! Honestly, after eight years of doing this, we are in the peak of condition … don’t scoff!Main entrance at Balbirnie House

Rishi Sunak, the latest Prime Minister through that revolving door at 10 Downing Street, made his first visit to Scotland the other day. Currently he is presiding over a disastrous situation of strikes across the entire public sector. A situation skilfully crafted over thirteen years of Tory rule by his predecessors.

To celebrate his sojourn north of the border, he and Scotland’s First Minister met for dinner in Inverness. We don’t know how many courses! Rishi has the honour of being Nicola Sturgeon’s fifth Prime Minister since she came to power. She seems to be collecting them like the Queen used to do. He seems to have survived the experience and emerged relatively unscathed but probably with several fleas in his ears. No point in going through the promises made because promises from Westminster are not worth the paper they are written on these days. Actually, not just these days, as long as we can remember!

Internal view of Balbirnie House
The bar

If you ever get the chance to experience one of Balbirnie’s dinner you should take it. Great experience and great value.

KY7 6NE    tel: 01592 610066     Balbirnie

///submitted.healers.students

Scones

Forth & Co

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Well here we are in 2023. We hope that all our readers had a great time over the festive season. Here’s to you all having a happy, and above all, healthy year. The first scone of 2023 comes to you courtesy of Forth & Co in our home town of Falkirk. Perhaps, at this point we should just mention that it’s quite a sinful one! 

We came into town early and decided to have breakfast out. Forth & Co has recently opened having replaced Johnstone’s Bar & Bistro which we reviewed back in 2016. We thought we should give this new place a whirl. In my teenage years this was the Temperance Cafe, a place to hang out with all the other cool cats. The coolest cats (such as myself) met upstairs on the balcony where we could look down on ordinary folk and talk about girls, politics and the price of milk. Okay, mostly girls … certainly don’t remember any in-depth discussions on scones! Six decades later there are some pretty obvious changes but in essence it’s amazingly the same.Internal view of Forth & Co

Sinful

What we are trying to explain is that we came here for breakfast and did not expect scones to be present so early in the day. But there they were and after coffee and a lovely breakfast roll we found ourselves tucking into a scone … can’t help ourselves! And it was still early morning! Not absolutely sure what the correct time for scone scoffing is but we do know it’s not this early. Hopefully, we’ve not upset any of our more delicate and genteel readers!

A scone at Forth & CoHalf expecting to be struck down by a thunderbolt we cut our scone in half and proceeded to spread the Irish butter and the French jam … argh! There was also a generous bowl of whipped cream. It was all rather nice though fairly obviously not freshly baked on the premises. Service was very efficient and friendly but there’s some work to be done if they want a topscone award.

Forth & Co is part of the Bow Hospitality chain of about ten similar restaurants around Scotland. It was quiet when we arrived but thankfully it was busy by the time we were leaving at 11am. We’re sure it will be just as successful as its predecessor.Internal view of Forth & Co

The Falkirk Televisor

No need to remind avid readers but this building was the scene for the world’s first ever TV broadcast. It was conducted by local boy John Logie Baird as he broadcast an image of a dummy named Snooky Bill (no comments please) from one room to another using his ‘televisor’ invention. It did work, though the pictures were extremely fuzzy! The equipment is now in the local museum.

Extremely fuzzy could well describe the political picture for 2023. Both here in the UK and in the US, politicians seem to be held to ransom by far right extremists. Fortunately we have Harry and Meghan to take our minds off all of that.

Harry’s book ‘Spare’ has occupied the news for the past week. Our own family seem like paragons of virtue compared to the Royals so it is perfectly understandable that Harry wants to put some distance between them. Considering what we the public subject the Royals to, it is hardly surprising that they are dysfunctional. Amidst all the people struggling with utility bills and food banks the tone deaf Charles is busy with the Queen Somesort organising his coronation. A brand new eatery like Forth & Co is definitely more worthy of celebration.Logo of Forth & Co

FK1 1DG       tel: 01324 646758       Forth & Co

///pretty.sketch.single

Scones

Horsehoe Inn

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Last time we were anywhere near the Horseshoe Inn in Eddleston  we were at the Barony Castle Hotel. In the grounds of the hotel there is the Great Polish Map of Scotland. A remarkable concrete structure in a pond  made by Polish war veterans in 1979.

Great Polish Map of Scotland
Photo taken from a display board to show the size (40mx50m) and location, the hotel is top right

Anyway, the Horseshoe Inn stands at the end of the road that leads up to the Barony Castle and that’s as far as we were going today.

Unwanted visitors

Everyone knows that horseshoes are lucky without perhaps knowing why. Logo of the Horsehoe InnLet us help you with some well established facts. Many years ago the whole of northern Europe was inhabited by fairies, elves and goblins. When Celtic tribes invaded their lands they took refuge in the forests and started wearing green to camouflage themselves. Rightly or wrongly, these little people were blamed for many of the misfortunes suffered by the settlers. The relationship between the two groups was at best uneasy. However, it was quickly understood that the elves  feared the metal weapons of their enemies … they were afraid of iron! Hence folk took to hanging horseshoes above their doors to discourage unwelcome little visitors.

Logic

All of the above is absolutely true, however, there is still much debate about which way a horsehoe should be hung in order to derive maximum benefit. Some think the two ends should point up the way to prevent luck falling out. Others think it should be the other way so that the luck falls on those below. We lean towards the former because logically with both ends down the way it would never be able to retain enough luck to disperse. Don’t think about it too much. The big question was how lucky the  Horsehoe Inn would be for us.

Internal view of the Horsehoe InnIt’s a real traditional kind of place with lots of beamed ceilings and open fires. The restaurant was very busy so we opted for the bar which was quiet. A scone at the Horsehoe InnThere was a very comprehensive menu but we were just passing through so coffee and a scone was all we wanted. They didn’t ask if we wanted the scone toasted but that’s the way it was when it arrived.  Sitting by a cosy log fire eating scones and drinking coffee we felt nicely cocooned from the realities of the world outside. Lucky indeed.

Internal view of the Horsehoe Inn

Merry Christmas

The World Cup finishes today with a final which is not being billed as Argentina v France but rather Messi v Mbappé. On account of my sister living in Nice along with the Auld Alliance and all that, we will be supporting France. 

Unbelievably, in three days time it will be the shortest day of the year, yeah! As well as light the longer days also bring hope and heralds the beginning of another year.

As we prepare for a family invasion over the festive season it just remains for us to wish all our readers a very Merry Christmas and a happy and healthy New Year. We’ve very much appreciated your comments and support over the past year. May all your horseshoes be the right way up!

EH45 8QP.    tel: 01721 730225       Horsehoe Inn
 
///played.rested.extension
 
Scones, Top

Schloss Roxburghe 2

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This post is entitled Schloss Roxburghe 2 which is a bit unusual since it was only October when we were last here. Normally, years pass before we revisit places. In our previous visit we talked about all the ambitious building work that was taking place at the time. This time we had been informed that many of the changes had now been completed so we were back to see for ourselves.

External view of Schloss Roxburghe showing new rooms
new 58 additional rooms and the pool area
Hardships

Of course, we cannot pretend that this involved any hardship on our part. This place is definitely not noted for hardship! That said, we had hoped that the heated outdoor swimming pool, sauna and plunge pool would have been completed but no, not quite … argh! The weather has taken quite a frosty turn … ideal for a swim in a lovely warm pool. I’d even packed my Speedos! Disappointing but we reckoned we could survive that sort of hardship. But would there be any more hardships?

The spa at Schloss Roxburghe
Spa reception

Well yes, the spa area wasn’t quite finished either. But the new gym was open 24/7.

The gym at Schloss Roxburghe
the Gym

By the time we had walked the length of the gym and looked at all the apparatus for inflicting self induced torture we both felt quite light headed … we needed refreshment and somewhere to sit down.

The State Room at Schloss Roxburghe
the State room
What a State!

The State Room was the answer … another splendid addition since our last visit. A cosy log fire, very comfortable surroundings … and a bar!  A place to relax with a whisky or a G&T … or even a scone. 

Scones at Schloss RoxburgheLast time we thought the Schloss Roxburghe scones rivalled those of Fonab Castle as ‘best scone in the world‘ … quite a claim! We certainly didn’t imagine that they would have dropped their standards since October but thought we should check, just in case. We have to be rigorous … don’t we? No problem they were just as good and, of course, served perfectly by some of the friendly helpful staff. At the end of the day, it was simply a case of reinforcing our original topscone award with another!

No pampering south of the border

In the evening we had the pleasure of experiencing the brand spanking new Charlie’s restaurant. Its name commemorates a visit by Bonnie Prince Charlie in 1745. He was about to set off into England with his army and presumably felt the need for some pampering. He doubtless knew he wasn’t going to find any of that where he was going.

Charlies restaurant at Schloss Roxburghe
Charlie’s restaurant

In contrast to the cosy restaurant we enjoyed last time in the old hotel, Charlie’s provides a gleaming modern dining experience. It was great and our dinner was super!

Picture of child on horseback at Schloss Roxburghe
this is how it used to be for children before iPads
Autumn/Winter Collection

During our stay, Schloss Roxburghe was playing host for the launch of Lyle & Scott’s prestigious Autumn /Winter collection. Lyle & Scott at Schloss Roxburghe Surrounded by its own golf course and just down the road from the town of Hawick where Lyle & Scott started off in 1874, this was an ideal venue. They’d invited guests from all over the world.

All we can say is that if you are going to impress clients with everything Scotland has to offer this isn’t a bad place to do it. We actually thought that the Lyle & Scott brand had disappeared many years ago … how wrong could we be? Great to see it, alive and kicking and very much a global player.

Charlies restaurant at Schloss Roxburghe
A montage in Charlie’s restaurant depicting the Bonnie Prince

Britain is not much a global player these days. It seems to come bottom of almost every league table and seems destined to be in recession for a long time yet. The much vaunted International Agreements  with non-EU countries are actually costing us money! The whole country is grinding to a halt with industrial unrest. And just when you thought things could not get any worse, England has been eliminated from the World Cup by the ‘old enemy’, France. The economy may be disappearing down the plug hole but we’ll doubtless be treated to days and days of mindless analysis of why this calamity happened.

The invisible man

We do have new Prime Minister, Rishi Sunak, to sort all this out, of course … or do we? After a series of blatantly incompetent Prime Ministers we now have an invisible one. Even his own party are nicknamed him “the invisible Prime Minister“.  To avoid all these rather annoying irritations we recommend moving into Schloss Roxburghe permanently. As you sip your whisky by one of the log fires you’ll be blissfully unaware of anything other than the need for another log … and even that is taken care of.

TD5 8JZ           tel: ‭01573 450331        Schloss Roxburghe

///marinated.wriggled.greeting

Scones, topweird

Hirsel Cottage Tearoom

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Logo of The Hirsel EstateWhen Harold McMillan had to resign due to ill health in 1963 he was controversially succeeded as PM by Sir Alec Douglas-Home, 14th Earl of Home (pronounced Hume). The 3000 acre Hirsel Estate near Coldstream has been the family home since 1611. It wasn’t very long ago that, in the UK, you weren’t allowed to vote if you didn’t own land … preferable great swathes of it. As an aristocrat Sir Alec spent his life being showered by honours and gifts. His tenure as PM lasted less than a year, though compared to recent incumbents of the post, that’s a long time.

External view of the Hirsal
Photo of the Hirsel by Stephen Whitehorne. It’s not open to the public

So here we were driving past the wall that surrounds the estate. Pat had noted that there was a tearoom so we thought we should investigate. We went in through a typically large estate gate and then drove for what seemed like miles on a tiny little road with no signs indicating a cafe or anything else for that matter.  Eventually, we had to stop and ask a man with a leaf blower. It seems obvious now but we had come in through the wrong gate … what are we like? Never mind, eventually we made it to the Hirsel Cottage Tearoom.

The tearoom is part a group of buildings that form a kind of arts and crafts centre. There’s a pottery, a glass studio and a nice little museum. When we walked in we got a lovely warm welcome but the first thing we noticed was this.Scones at the cafe at the Hirsal

A bit odd

They had two different kinds … lemon and blueberry and spiced mixed fruit. … ooo! Pat opted for the latter so I went for the other. 

Scones at the cafe at the Hirsal

Quite big for our taste but both were very nice. They came nicely presented with butter, cream and jam. Pat’s was beautifully spiced and mine was very moist as you might expect from a lemon and blueberry combo. Slightly odd scones perhaps but we thought they were very worthy of a topweirdscone. Well done the Hirsel Cottage Tearoom.Internal view of the cafe at the Hirsal

Ownership?

The Hirsel Estate runs right down to the River Tweed. It made us think that it’s not only scones that can be weird, people are weird as well. They get very upset about land ownership. When we obtain land almost the first thing we do is build walls or borders to keep others out.  Don’t think that there is any other member of the animal kingdom that behaves quite like this. Swallows and Wildebeest just go wherever suits them. It can get ugly, just look at  Ukraine!

We say ‘border, you say ‘boundary’

When you stand on the banks of the Tweed and look across the twenty or so yards of slowly flowing water all you can see is England. At this point the the border runs down the middle of the river … weird. Unionists, of course, like to call it the “boundary”. Calling it a “border” would imply that Scotland might actually be a country in its own right. Gosh, the power of words!

We mention this only because the former Labour Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, was wheeled out again this week. This is a sure sign that Westminster feels the Union is in some sort of danger. Last time he appeared was back in 2014 during the Scottish Independence Referendum. All the panicking Unionist parties appointed him as their spokesman with a single remit “save the Union”.

Promises, promises!

Back then they all agreed to “the Vow” which promised that if Scotland wanted to stay in the EU, it had to vote no to independence. It also promised Home Rule … according to Gordon,  the next best thing to independence. That, of course, begged the question “why not just go for the best thing?” In the end it wasn’t worth the paper it was written on. Will we see submarines patrolling the Tweed?

TD12 4LW       tel: 01890 883645.        Hirsel Cottage FB

///boil,fatter.repayment

ps: We are indebted to our Marco Island correspondents for this photo of Sconehenge. There’s nothing we can say except we thought, for the sake of structural strength, they would have chosen plain scones!picture of Sconehenge

 

Scones, self-service

James’ Coffee Bar

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Here’s another random scone. When you walk along Main Street in the peaceful little village of Doune, apart its rather formidable castle, you probably wouldn’t ever imagine that it was once famous for the manufacture of guns. Yet from the mid 1600s to the late 1700s pistol making was the main industry here. All that is long since gone and the reason we come here nowadays is not for guns but for dresses. Or, whenever we think we have accumulated too much money! Woodlane of Doune is an excellent ladies dress shop for sorting that problem out.

It was when Pat was in a changing room that I was asked if we were going across the road to the Buttercup Cafe afterwards. I said that we had been there recently and thought we would try and find somewhere else. “Oh, you should try James’ Coffee Bar” was the reply “It’s open air but it has a roof … and it’s not far from here.“

Internal view of James'

Being outside

We’d never heard of it. We were intrigued … open air in December?  With what little money we had left we took our leave of Woodlane carrying several large bags. The ladies in the shop, however, had given us clear directions to James’ Coffee Bar so we set off to find it. It’s in the middle of nowhere on a road that we never use so that’s why we hadn’t come across it before. It sits adjacent to Stockbridge Nurseries Garden Centre and takes the form of one of those American Airstream aluminium trailers. The seating area is ‘outdoors’ but the roof is extensive and on a dull but nice day like today it was rather good to be ‘outside’.internal view of James'

Local products

The first thing we saw at the counter was the scones and just a few other cakes and things. Then we realised there was huge menu on the wall beside where we were standing. A scone at James'Eventually the order was two bacon rolls and a fruit scone to share. The girls in the trailer were delightful and soon had us sorted with everything we needed. No fine china here but, of course, in an establishment like this that would have been totally inappropriate. Our scone came in a cardboard tub along with a jar of jam, a wee tub of cream and a wooden knife. The coffee, Grumpy Mule was good but no as good as our favourite Cat’s Pyjamas. Puzzles us why people use companies hundreds of miles away while there are local products which are just as good, if not better.

Logo of James'Other than that we really enjoyed James’. It’s a family run enterprise born from the restrictions forced upon them by COVID. When we were finished we simply tipped everything into the appropriate recycling bins. For us it was just a little out of the ordinary and a bit of fun. We hope they go from strength to strength. Now that we know where it is the summer will doubtless see us back at James’.

Football business

For us the World Cup is proving to be not so much fun. In spite of FIFA pretending that they run and organise the event this one is pretty obviously being run by Qatar. Nothing happens without their approval. The whole thing, right down to them piping bird song into newly created parks is just a bit weird. The promised ‘greenest’ World Cup ever has proved to be a joke. Human rights seem to be another joke with all our home teams being too lily livered to wear an armband. Christiano Renaldo ‘not being sure‘ whether to accept £173m for a two year contract in Saudi perhaps illustrates all that is wrong with the modern business of football! AND, we have to have something to moan about!

FK15 9ND         Tel: 07936 078661      James’ Coffee Bar

///star.cello.megawatt

Ordinary, Scones

Coffee Jam

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Some readers seem to think that we go to a lot of trouble by travelling miles and miles just to report on a scone. It doesn’t really work like that! It just sort of happens in a completely random kind of way. This post from Coffee Jam in Renfrew might help illustrate the point. 

Clutha glass vases from McTearsThe other day we went online to bid on a lot at McTears Auction House in Glasgow. We didn’t get what we wanted. We were outbid by quite a long way … boo!. However, in the random nature of auctions another lot took our fancy. It was a couple of Clutha glass vases made by James Couper & Sons in Glasgow circa 1900. Their factory closed in the 1930s but it was situated just a couple of hundred yards from where we worked for many years.  Liberty of London named it Clutha (“cloudy” in  Gaelic) to identify the deliberately bubbly, streaky nature of the glass. Needless to say, although we hadn’t meant to buy anything like this, we somewhat randomly pressed the successful ‘bid’ button. All of a sudden, they were ours! 

Town Hall RenfrewToday we were collecting them from McTears. We had the vases safely cosseted in bubblewrap for the journey home when we realised that Renfrew, the county town of Renfrewshire, was just about a mile further west. Neither of us thought we had ever been there. Odd, because it’s right beside Glasgow airport but all the main roads seem to bypass Renfrew itself. Randomly, at the gate out of McTears, instead of turning right for home we turned left for Renfrew. Like many post-industrial towns it looks a little bit tired but hints of a glorious past abound. Not least of these is the town hall, a magnificent confection in stone,  which now houses a museum to celebrate all things “Renfrew”.

Fascinating facts

Ancient coins found in Renfrew

There was loads of things of interest. The Renfrew horde of 674 silver pennies dating from the the late thirteenth century was discovered here. It was in an earthenware jug dug up in 1963. There was a set of dominoes made by French POWs held here during the Napoleonic Wars. And, did you know that the first shots fired in the skies over Britain in WWII were fired by George Pinkerton flying a Spitfire from Renfrew. He attacked a German fighter over the River Forth. And, the first aircraft to cross the Atlantic east to west, the R34 airship, was built by local company, Beardmore & Co, in 1919. One of the crew had to parachute out to help the ground crew in the US who didn’t know how to land it. So many fascinating things that we didn’t know about Renfrew. We needed a scone and some tea to help digest it all. 
 
Interior view of Coffee Jam, Renfrew
Spare?

Randomly, on the other side of the street from the town hall was Coffee Jam. There was no evidence of scones anywhere and when we asked if they had any there was consternation! Our girl, Christy, went off to the kitchen and from there she signaled with two fingers that they had two. We signaled back with a thumbs up and some enthusiastic head nodding! When she brought the scones to our table we asked if she had baked them. No, the chef had baked them earlier but we were extremely  lucky that they had two scones ‘spare’. And with that she turned to help another customer. We were intrigued, how does a scone come to be ‘spare’?Scones in Coffee Jam, Renfrew

Each scone were quite big, nicely warmed and, although the WeWantPlates brigade would not have been happy, pleasingly presented on a slate. They were accompanied by large bowls of cream and jam. Although the cream was ‘scooshie’ the consistency was good compared to some we’ve had in the past. Sometimes it dissolves into liquid almost immediately! And loads of jam … maybe this was why it’s called ‘Coffee Jam’? We enjoyed our scones even though they didn’t quite merit a topscone. Coffee Jam has only been on the go for less than a year and  has already won awards. The owners are obviously trying very hard. We wish them all the best.

Kindred spirits

Blackboard in Coffee Jam, RenfrewWhen we went to pay we couldn’t resist asking what a ‘spare’ scone was. Turns out that they normally only provide scones with their afternoon teas.  So the ones we got were ‘spare’. Now we understand though we do think that their scones are a bit on the big side for an afternoon tea. it also turned out that Christy was a fellow photographer. she only works in Coffee Jam part time to help her sister out. Although at opposite ends of our respective career paths we had a great chat about the photography business and hers in particular … SMPhotography.Logo of Coffee Jam, Renfrew

Random thoughts

On our way home we passed the luxury liner MV Ambition which is moored in the Clyde.  It’s been hired by the Scottish government as temporary accommodation for Ukrainian refugees. There’s another cruise liner in Edinburgh being used for the same purpose. There’s not much news about this, so not sure what to think. There’s lots of news, however, about the most corrupt sporting event ever, the Qatar World Cup.  Apparently it’s actually supposed to matter! The MV Ambition made us realise that we do need to spare a thought for the Russian troops dug into hellish trenches for the winter. Of course, we need to spare a thought for the Ukrainian troops as well but at least they know why they’re there.

Hopefully you can now see how, through the random nature of our lives, a random purchase in an auction can randomly lead to a spare scone.  

PA4 8QD       tel: 0141 560 2714       Cafe Jam Insta

///paying.racks.copper

Ordinary, Scones

Aran

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In case you think that we are now far away on the Isle of Arran let us assure you that we hardly had to go any distance for this post. Just a short walk into Falkirk town centre, in fact. Those of you who already speak Scottish Gaelic will know that Aran is Gaelic for ‘bread’. For those who don’t know Gaelic you’ve learned something already. Here’s something else. This place used to be called Coffee on Wooer because it’s situated at the junction of Tollbooth Street and Wooer Street (derived from Weaver Street). We reviewed that back in 2016 and it did not turn out well.

Back then when we asked for a scone the chap behind the counter picked one up and tried, unsuccessfully, to penetrate it with a fork. We like them crunchy on the outside but there’s a limit. He even said “I wouldn’t if I was you“! After that it was a vegan cafe called “The Wooer” and that wasn’t much of an improvement.  This latest incarnation, Aran, has only been going a couple of months but would it be any better?Internal view of Aran

From the outside it looks much the same as it’s always done. Inside it is much improved, however, if a little on the sparse side. We were greeted with a cheery “hi” as soon as we walked through the door. Things were looking up already! We had arranged to have some lunch a little later so at this point we just wanted a scone to share. They do have a nice menu, however, that prides itself on its locally sourced produce. There were plain scones available but we opted for our usual fruit.

Fresh

A scone at AranIt wasn’t long before the lovely young lady looking after us had us all sorted with a tea, a coffee and a scone. No cream unfortunately but at least the little pots of jam and butter looked as if they could be local produce … yeah! The scones tasted deliciously fresh. And, when we asked, we were assured that they’re baked in their own kitchen each and every morning. In the past, we’ve not had good experiences here so this was all rather wonderful. Not quite topscone but about as close as you can get.  Well done Aran, a vast improvement on your predecessors, keep up the good work!

Sunny uplands?

What wasn’t so wonderful was the recent Autumn Statement delivered by our new Chancellor, Jeremy Hunt. The Tories pride themselves on being the sensible party when it comes to government and fiscal responsibility. It’s their USP … they know how to run things! Yet, after twelve years in power, we are being told to expect the biggest drop in living standards in over fifty years. Everyone is going to be considerably poorer. We are also the only member of the G7 countries to have a smaller economy now than it had before the pandemic. In other words we are going backwards at a rate of knots. Gosh, can you imagine what it would be like if we had a government that didn’t know what it was doing??

On the upside, they say that after a few years of abject misery we will return to the sunny uplands again. That’ll be the same sunny uplands we were promised after Brexit? We’re still waiting!Logo of Aran

There’s another Aran in nearby Linlithgow. It’s run by the same people so we may have to try that as well. Just to relieve the abject misery which is to be wrought upon us , if nothing else.

FK1 1NJ        tel: 01506 844477         Aran FB   

///vibrate.buck.pepper