Monthly Archives: January 2025

Ordinary, Scones

food@34a

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We’ve been to food@34a before. Many of you will be aware that from time to time we go to the Hippodrome cinema in Bo’ness. Although it’s the oldest cinema in Scotland that’s not what takes us there. Rather it’s its proximity to our garage. Whenever we have a problem we

External view of the Hippodrome Cinema
The Hippodrome cinema

drop the car off and they take us to the cinema and pick us up when the film has finished and the car is fixed. It’s a great arrangement which has been going a few years now. Today’s film was “Went The Day Well” an old black and white film from 1942.

Problems
A picture at food@34a in Bo'ness
A picture at food@34a

We’d love to tell you how good it was. However, as we sat there with everyone else wondering why the movie was so late in starting a young lass appeared in front of the screen to inform us there was a technical problem. No showing today! Aargh! Our flabber was well and truly gasted! What to do now? The car wouldn’t be ready for at least a couple of hours

It was a nice day so we went for a walk round the old Bo’ness harbour. Bo’ness used to be called Barrowstouness but in the Great Letter Shortage of 1652 they were forced to shorten it. We’re pretty sure  if Donald Trump came away with that sort of nonsense at least half of America would believe it. Anyway, these days the harbour is a mere shadow of its former self. Gone are the days when this was a great trading port. It even had its own Customs House. Logo of food@34a in Bo'nessEventually we headed back into town past the Steam Railway Museum. You may remember our post in 2019 from one of their steam trains when the Einsteinian like Theory of Sconativity was developed. Internal view of food@34a in Bo'ness

When we arrived at food@34a it was very busy and we were fortunate to get the last available table. By this time it was almost lunchtime but we decided on their small breakfast. A scone at food@34a in Bo'nessGoodness knows what their big breakfast is like because the small one with bacon, egg, link suasage, square sausage, tattie scone, beans and two slices of toast was more than enough for us. After all that, did we need a scone? Definitely not, but we had one anyway, to share. They didn’t have cream but when it arrived the butter looked more like cream than butter. The service was great and without asking they brought two plates and two knives so that we could share. Unfortunately the scone was too big and although nice enough there was no way we could finish it. A sign at food@34a in Bo'ness

The Donald has now been installed as the 47th President of the USA in a Disneyesque ceremony. His inaugural speech was notable for being completely devoid of anything approaching grace. He sees his task for the next four years as making the richest country in the world even richer and to hell with everyone else. The fact that inequality is at the root of most of the world’s and the US’s problems seems to have escaped him. If. on the other hand, by the time you receive this post he has resolved the problems of the Middle East and Ukraine, like he said he would, then we take it all back.

When we last posted from food@34a in 2023 our then PM, Rishi Sunak, had just appointed an ethics adviser to help him differentiate between right and wrong. Might be an idea for the new US administration? 

Even though we didn’t see our movie “Well The Day Went” our day went well. The walk was really enjoyable and when we finished at food@34a the garage delivered us our car … fab! 

EH51 0EA           tel: 07380 600235             food@34aFB

///reservoir.skill.gobbles

Ordinary, Scones

Lobster Pot

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A picture at the Lobster PotWe don’t understand why it’s been about five years since we last reported from the Lobster Pot in Blackness on Sea. It’s only a twenty minute drive and with its lighthearted approach to life and its cornucopia of artefacts. It’s always a joy to visit and it even has the village shop . We must do it more often?

A picture at the Lobster PotThere’s a sign on the way into the pub which boldly says “KEEP SCOTLAND WEIRD” and the interior decor of the place certainly does its best to maintain that ethos. There’s mermaids, figureheads, ropes and pulleys everywhere. It’s definitely weird but in a nice way. The walls and ceilings are  covered in paintings and items, mostly with a nautical theme. If you have the time to look at everything you can discover a lot of the local history.

For a small village of less than one hundred inhabitants it definitely punches above its weight.

Blackness Castle
Blackness Castle, built in 1440 and known as “the ship that never sailed” because from the seaward side it looks like a huge battleship … it proved an effective deterrent to German U-Boats
The Duchess

As well the Lobster Pot it boasts an Outlander Castle, sandy beaches, a promenade, a pier, a sailing club and even a naturist swimming group.

A picture at the Lobster Pot
The swimming group may have been started by the Duchess of Argyle judging by this picture!

Not only this but now the pub has set up a distillery next door … the Blackness Bay distillery. What more could you ask for? It’s tiny and hasn’t been going long enough to produce whisky but it does do an interesting range of Blackness Bay rums. When they do produce whisky in a couple of years it will be called “Mary Queen of Scotch”. It’s never going to compete with the Johnnie Walkers of this world but that’s not the point. It will be fun and maybe a bit weird. But while we’re waiting they have a new make spirit called “Virgin Mary”. And as if all that wasn’t enough they do scones as well!Logo of the Lobster Pot

After a walk along the beach we decided some lunch was required. I had a sandwich full of crab, prawns and lobster. When I say full, I mean FULL! Not easy to eat neatly. A scone at the Lobster PotIt came with a salad and a tin cup full of delicious chips. They didn’t have cream so the scone, when it arrived, just had butter and jam and unfortunately none of it was local. The scone wasn’t easy to eat neatly either. Because it was quite warm the butter melted and then the scone tended to fall apart. Nowhere near a topscone but it didn’t detract from a really enjoyable visit. 

Futility of life

The pub has held a poetry competition. According to the website “The older locals gather with the landlorA picture at the Lobster Potd to quietly contemplate the futility of human existence without as much as a poem to tell future generations of the glory that once was Blackness on Sea“.  The rules stated that it had to mention the pub and the village though not necessarily in complimentary terms. A £1000 prize for the winning entry meant there were 270 entries. The winning submission by Arran Potts was called “Come Away In“.

A picture at the Lobster Pot
The local folk enjoying themselves in front of the Lobster Pot
Sage advice

With the Donald getting his feet under the desk in the Oval Office again on Monday this sign seemed like apt advice for the rest of the world.A sign at the Lobster Pot

And another sign in the garden of the Lobster Pot.

EH49 7NL            tel: 01506 830086                 Lobster Pot

///work.deflection.limelight

ps; last time we were here we asked for the meaning behind this diorama. So far no one was brave enough to offer one.  

A diorama at the Lobster Pot
It contains a fisherman pointing at a cooked lobster on top of a creel, five bottles of Guinness, a terrier dog wearing wellington boots and a large snake wound around a naked lady.

If there is some deep meaning in this allegory then hopefully some reader might decipher it? No prize but huge kudos.

Ordinary, Scones

Smiddy Farm Shop

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We all know people who could start a fight in an empty room, don’t we? But do you know folk who could do that over a scone at the Smiddy Farm Shop? But more of that later.Internal view of the Smiddy Farm Shop

We come here quite a lot because we pass it on our way to other places. It’s strategically located at a fork in the road. Blair Drummond Estate runs the Smiddy and a lot of the produce comes from its own farms.

Life and limb

Attentive readers will, of course, remember that a couple of years back we also reported from here on banana and chocolate scones. On thatLogo of the Smiddy Farm Shop ocassion  we were just doing some shopping – Pat likes the milk that comes from the the Wee Isle Dairy on the Isle of Gigha. At the checkout we noticed packets of banana and chocolate scones. In the interests of the further education of our readers we, of course, risked life and limb and tried them out at home. The verdict was surprisingly quite favourable.

Extra super attentive readers will remember our initial visit to this café back in October 2016.  It had opened its doors for the first time just 75 minutes before we arrived. Unsurprisingly there were some teething problems but we could see huge potential. The scones on that occasion were nice with lots of fruit but there was no cream and we judged them to be just a bit too big.Internal view of the Smiddy Farm Shop

Our visit today proved that the potential had indeed been realised. It was very busy and we were fortunate to get the last available table. The scone display cabinet, however, was bereft of Afternoon treat menuscones … just a few sad crumbs. When we asked they simply told us that if there were none in the cabinet they had all gone. Disheartened, we looked at the menu to see if any thing else tickled our fancy. Lo and behold, on the menu they had “afternoon treat with mini scones“. When we asked if we could just have the mini scones our server steadfastly informed us “you only get them with the afternoon treat!!”  

Now we weren’t exactly spoiling for a fight but we did question the logic. If they had mini scones surely we could have them! Especially since they’d run out of proper scones? Eventually she relented and said she would go and ask. Happily the response was “no problem!” We ordered two mini fruit scones with jam and cream and some of our favourite Henry’s coffee. Internal view of the Smiddy Farm Shop

Awkward customers

We were happy when they arrived because they were just ever so slightly smaller than how we like them … success! Miniscones at the Smiddy Farm ShopNo cream, however, so we had to remind her. There was only a couple of bites in each scone so there was no point in starting without it.  Five minutes later and still without cream we had go and find her. She had forgotten again! She scurried off to get some, no doubt muttering under her breath “what is it with these mad scone people?“. Eventually everything was assembled. The scones were really nice but with all things considered there wasn’t to be a topscone today. To be fair, our server was very busy and in the circumstances handled us awkward customers extremely well … no blows were exchanged.

External view of the Blair Drummond Smiddy

The 47th

Donald Trump still has a week to go before being sworn in as the 47th President of the USA. However, trouble is brewing already. Amongst his stated ambitions is to take over Greenland … by force if necessary! Greenland is resource rich and strategically placed on Russia’s main shipping route to the Atlantic. Scotland is also resource rich and strategically placed on Russia’s main shipping route to the Atlantic. Will we be next? He can maybe take Greenland but he’ll be in for a shock if he tries it on with Scotland! We’re permanently angry and we’ve got claymores!

FK9 4UY                 tel: 01786 235024           The Smiddy

///keen.collected.bugs

Ordinary, Scones

Café 1496

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Today we’re in Forres on the Moray coast at Café 1496. With its sheltered microclimate and abundant golden beaches, the Moray coast is sometimes known as the Riviera of the North. January, however, is not a month to be lying on any Scottish beach. but ideal for partaking of coffee and scones.Internal view of Café 1496

Forres has been around for a while. King David 1 made it one of Scotland’s earliest Royal Burghs in 1150. Presumably the burgh incurred Logo of Café 1496someone’s displeasure because it lost its Royal status in 1312. However, in 1496 along comes good old King James IV to elevate it once again to its former Royal glory. The town was allowed to have a weekly market and an eight day fair as well as a café commemorating the event. 

Busy busy

Café 1496 prides itself on its relaxed atmosphere … “come in, relax  and stay as long as you want, there’s no hurry“. Ironically that philosophy makes it very busy and even a little frantic for the staff. We were fortunate to get the last table available while they  were turning other people away. It was busy busy!A sign at Café 1496

Nevertheless, they soon had us sorted with a fruit scone and some coffee.  Our scones turned out to be pleasant enough though we felt they were just a teeny bit doughy.  Presentation was a bit basic as well so, unfortunately, no topscone.A scone at Café 1496

We say ‘unfortunately” because we like what they are trying to do here. They make a real commitement to the community. This string of clothes pegs hanging in the window indicates the kindness of their customers.

Payment pegs at Café 1496
You can ask for a £2.50 peg to be added to your bill. Folks who are feeling the pinch can ask for their coffee to be paid for by peg. Left over pegs are donated to local charities.
Forkbeard

On the outskirts of Forres stands the Pictish, Sueno’s Stone. It’s important because there’s no written account of the Picts, only stone carvings. However, this one as well as being shrouded in a gigantic glass box is also shrouded in mystery. We do know however that it dates to the 9th century, is 21 feet tall. weighs eleven tons and came from a quarry more than ten  miles away.

Sueno's Stone in Forres
Sueno’s Stone

It’s named after Danish Viking King Sweyn Forkbeard even though there is no evidence that he ever came anywhere near Forres. But once things are named it becomes tricky to change. Whoever placed it here went to a lot of trouble so it seems only fitting that it should now be protected in this way. Experts seem unable to agree on what its intricate carvings mean. Theories abound! There are several battle scenes with many decapitations so we think it tells us quite a lot. Namely, when you look at the world today we have not advanced very much and we certainly don’t learn anything along the way. Of all the theories, we like the one that in Shakespear’s Macbeth the three witches met here and their souls are forever trapped within the stone. Impossible and really silly but some people will believe anything.

Pat at Findhorn Bay
Pat at Findhorn Bay just outside Forres
Village idiot

The richest man in the world falls into that category. He behaves like a kid who has just discovered that his gun fires actual bullets. He’s spraying them around left right and centre … great fun! The potential for harm, of course, is huge. For a supposedly intelligent man he does a surprisingly convincing impression of the village idiot. Would the Picts have bothered carving anything about him? We doubt it.

IV36 1AE              Café 1496 TA

///hangs.regularly.amaze

Scones, Top

Dowans Hotel

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A happy and healthy 2025 to one and all. We hope you will stay with us for another year of scone adventures.

2024 was notable for many things; Trump getting reelected, the passing of Jimmy Carter, Polestar producing the first car with no rear window. Fine, but all fairly inconsequential when you consider that we reviewed more than sixty scones. Disasterously, however, we also reported that our long standing benchmark scone at Fonab Castle had slipped off the top of the pile. Dilemma! Of course, like true sconeys, we gathered ourselves together, brushed ourselves down and set about the search for a replacement. At Dowans Hotel here in Aberlour we may have already found the answer … hallelujah!Internal view of Dowans Hotel

Coincidental

We had decided to stay at Dowans for a few days. The fact that the Aberlour distillery was just over the garden wall or that you could see the Macallan distillery from the front door, or that the GlenAllachie distillery was just a short walk away was purely coincidental.

Whisky snug at Dowans Hotel
Over 500 on offer in the Whisky Snug at Dowans

Dowans has had a varied life since 1888 when it was built as the family home for the owner of nearby Cardhu distillery. During WWII it was used by the military before becoming an orphanage in the 1950s. It first became a hotel in the 1960s before being taken over by the current owners, the Murray family, in 2012. The family are heavily involved in the day to day running and have, over the years,  turned it into the elegant place it is today.

Just because we are in Strathspey with its 53 distilleries, don’t run away with the idea that they only produce whisky in these parts, As Dowans was being built in the village, the global phenomenon of  Walker’s Shortbread was also just starting out in Aberlour. Okay, coincidentally it just so happens that shortbread is the perfect accompaniment to whisky. For many, a glass of whisky and a piece of shortbread is what makes life worth living. Shortbread and whisky is all very well  but what about the scones we hear you cry?

M Bar at Dowans Hotel
At a time when many pubs are experiencing a Guiness shortage there was no problem in MBar at Dowans
Dancing

Okay, hostess with the mostest, Lauren, had assured us we could have scones any time we liked. It wouldn’t be any trouble. Before that, however, we took a short drive through the Macallan Estate towards Keith and came on the hamlet of Maggieknockater. Apparently many locals say they come from other nearby villages rather than face the laughter that revealing their true origins engenders. There was once a famous beekeeper here that gave rise to a Scottish Country dance, the Bees of Maggieknockater. Only on allaboutthescones.com can readers obtain such enlightenment.

A cottage in Aberlour
The local cottages all have beautiful stonework

Anyway, today was a day when the temperatures were going to struggle to rise above freezing. The idea of scones in front of the fire was particularly appealing. Scones at Dowans HotelTrue to her word, Lauren soon had us  enjoying some freshly made scones. They were beautifully presented with lovely dishes of jam and cream and crisp white linen napkins. Being freshly baked they were wonderfully warm and had the exact crunchy exterior and soft centre that we enjoy so much. This was one of the easiest topscones we have ever reviewed. A worthy contender for that coveted  “best scone in the world” title. 

How’s that for a start to the New Year? External view of Dowans Hotel

AB38 9LS          tel: 01340 871488          The Dowans Hotel

///realm.available.mouths