Cafe Portrait

A few months ago we visited Cafe Portrait in late afternoon only to be told that if we wanted any of their “absolutely delicious” scones we would have to be there much earlier in the day. The manner in which we were told sounded almost like a challenge, throwing down the gauntlet, even!

External view of the National Portrait Gallery, Edinburgh
Opened in 1889 at a cost of £70,000, the Scottish National Portrait Gallery on Queen Street
Scones versus lunch

Never ones to shirk a scone challenge we set about it today. Rather conveniently the Portrait Gallery is on the same street as the Whisky Society where we were to have lunch. Suffice to say we were there early enough and they had scones … fruit and cheese and mustard. Mindful of our lunch date later we decided to share one of the cheese and mustard scones … unexplored territory for us!  But first we spent some time going round the exhibits.

Internal view of the National Portrait Gallery, Edinburgh
The Foyer. The Gallery was built in 1889 at a cost of £70,000 funded by John Ritchie Findlay, owner of The Scotsman newspaper.

Scotland certainly had its fair share of heroes and scoundrels. Here’s a random selection.

Robert Burns
Robert Burns, reproduced on shortbread tins the world over, this is the first time we have seen the original by Alexander Nasmyth in 1787
Gregor MacGregor
Gregor MacGregor painted in 1804. Scotland’s greatest scoundrel through selling packets of useless land in a semi fictitious Kingdom in Central America. Somehow he managed to be buried with full military honours in Venezuela
Portraits of Flora MacDonald and Bonnie Prince Charlie
Flora Macdonald who famously helped Bonnie Prince Charlie escape to France (painted by Richard Wilson in 1747) and the Bonnie Prince himself (painted by William Mosman in 1750)
Execution of Charles I
The rather jolly looking beheading of Charles I. Perhaps we have progressed after all … Charles III shouldn’t have to worry too much nowadays (painted by Jan Wessop in 1649)

Okay, but what about the scones? Cafe Portrait is big and airy and busy.  We might discover whether or not their rather immodest claims for their scones were justified or not.Internal view of the National Portrait Gallery, Edinburgh

A first

There’s lots of delicious looking food on offer but, mindful of our lunch date, we only wanted a scone to share. A scone at the National Portrait Gallery, Edinburgh The fruit scones looked good but we decided to be adventurous and try their cheese and mustard offering. We hadn’t come across that combination before. No need for jam and cream, butter was all that was required. It was delicious with a lovely textured crunch and soft interior that tasted like nothing we had tasted before. Probably more cheesy than mustardy but the two together formed a very savoury treat! We had to admit that their original bragging was entirely justified and we felt slightly chastened for having even doubted it … topscone.

Illogical

The only downside to our visit was that the lift wasn’t working.

Painting of photographer with a plate camera
I started my career on plate cameras like this. Now, just fifty years later, I only ever use my phone … incredible.

Turned out that it hasn’t worked for the whole of this year. Apparently it’s the only one of its type in the world and they are currently waiting for technicians to come from Italy to try and fix it. Only the directors of an art gallery could get into a situation where a completely unique lift is required. Hopefully it will be sorted soon because there are a lot of stairs.

Talking of illogical decisions It would appear that this year the world reached an all time spending high of £2.6 trillion on arms manufacturing. Surely this is an indictment on all of us. Just think for a second on what that vast amount of money could have done had we not directed it towards death and destruction. The world needs a ‘reset’ button where it can return to original settings. But were the original settings any better? Aaaargh!

And today Humza Yousaf stepped down as First Minister of Scotland in a very graceful speech. Probably too nice a man for politics, it will be interesting to see what happens now.

Robert Moffat missionary
Robert Moffat missionary with John Mokoteri and Sarah Roby. Mokoteri and Roby were supposedly his adopted children but were more akin to servants

In case you’re worried, we hadn’t spoiled our appetite and managed a fantastic lunch at the Whisky Society, helped down by a few glasses of the amber nectar.

EH2 1JD         tel: 0131 624 6200          Cafe Portrait

///supporter.united.emerge

Verdant Works

This post comes from the Verdant Works, a jute manufacturing factory in Dundee. Why, you might well ask? Well, we’re on an outing with the Falkirk Local History Society and the organisers are none other than our very own Trossachs correspondents. And, of course, where they are involved, there may very well be scones as well. Also the Verdant Works is interesting from a historical point of view. At one time jute manufacturing was a huge industry for Dundee. It was the centre of the jute world and even acquired the nickname “Juteopolis”.

Courtyard at Verdant Works
Verdant is a rare example of a “courtyard” mill
Jute, whales and ships

Thousands of tons of jute were imported from Calcutta when India and Pakistan were still British colonies. Embroidered crest for The Weaver Incorporation of DundeeIt wasn’t much use in its raw state because it was too rigid and brittle. Dundee , however, also had a whaling industry and whale oil was found to be ideal to soften it.  It could then be woven into a multitude of high value goods. Dundee also built the ships used to transport the jute to this country. It had everything going for it! Eventually, however, the Indians and Pakistanis wised up and realised that they could produce these goods much cheaper themselves. Today there is no jute industry in Dundee, only these buildings preserved by the Dundee Heritage Trust, stand as testament to a bygone era.

Aerial view of Verdant Works
In 1833 the Verdant Works (centre, picture taken 1963) was so called because it was surrounded by lush green countryside. Within a few years there was 50,000 people employed in the jute industry and the green fields had gone for ever.
Tiding us over

A scone at Verdant WorksAfter the bus journey from Falkirk our correspondents had wisely placed tea and scones pretty near the start of our tour. It’s a big place and not the sort that you can just skip round in half an hour. There’s a cafe at the Verdant Works but it’s relatively small and not suited to a sudden influx of around 60 people. We were taken to a suitable  upstairs room  where a guide was able to give us the A – Z of Verdant history while we had our tea. You just helped yourself to the scones, butter and jam. Internal view of Verdant WorksUnfortunately the scones were a bit industrial, like our surroundings. Rather heavy and solid, definitely not the best. However, after our journey to get here we were very grateful to have them and they were good enough to tide us over to lunch later at the House of Dun. Readers cannot buy these scones unless, like us, you are on an organised tour so they are “uncategorised”.

Pat at Verdant Works
Happy girl after a scone
Romantic notions

Victorian living conditions in DundeeNowadays most people don’t even know what jute is never mind that it was the basis of such a huge industry in Scotland. Anybody courting the notion that Victorian times were in some way romantic times quickly had that idea dispelled. Although a few people made vast fortunes, it was always off the backs of those exploited in India, Pakistan and here in Dundee. Poverty was rife. Women and children, some as young as six or seven, were used in the machine shops. Men, deemed not to have the necessary dexterity, were left at home to look after the children. The horrendous clatter of machines on the shop floor was deafening and these women could only communicate by lipreading. There was no Health & Safety so children were sometimes  shredded when drawn into the machinery, It was about as far away from romantic as it was possible to get..

Union banner at Verdant Works
A Union banner from 1885 gives a hint of what conditions were like

Until visiting the Verdant Works we didn’t know much about the jute industry either so it was absolutely fascinating. Many thanks to our correspondents who did a first class job organising this and the rest of our outing … absolutely brilliant!

Don’t know nothin’
The cludgie
People touring the works are tempted to peek round the door of the cludge (toilet) only to be startled by a loud voice saying “oy, there’s someone in”. Hilarious, people get such a fright

Donald Trump may have been caught with his trousers down as well. The courtroom battle currently underway into his affairs is fascinating, as much for his idiotic behaviour as anything else. However, we’re pretty sure his foaming-at-the-mouth supporters will undoubtedly keep following, come what may. The inquiry into the Post Office Horizon scandal that ruined so many lives is discovering that those in top management positions seemingly knew nothing about it. In fact it would appear that none of them knew anything about anything. That would go a long way to explaining the state of the Post Office today.

DD1 5BT         tel: 01382 309060              Verdant Works

///feast.skills.cure

Larnach Castle

It’s not often we can report on Kiwi scones. However, thanks to our Brisbane correspondent we can send this post from Larnach Castle in Dunedin where he is visiting his daughter. External view of Larch Castle, Dunedin

The story of the castle which William Larnach built in 1871 is bitter sweet. Larnach means “man of Lorne” in Gaelic so his parents probably came from that part of Argyll on the Scottish west coast. He was a very successful business man, banker and politician who prospered through land speculation. His wealth allowed him to build New Zealand’s only castle here in Dunedin. But now the gossip.

Internal view of Larch Castle, Dunedin
European tradesmen were brought in to creat interiors from the highest quality materials

He had six children by his first wife however she died, aged 38 shortly after the birth of their youngest. He then married the children’s governess who also died aged 38. Next he married a much younger woman but she was rumoured to be having an affair with one of his sons. Eventually, having outlived all his wives, he faced financial and other seemingly unsurmountable hardships. In the Parliament building in 1898 he shot himself dead … tragic!

Internal view of Larch Castle, Dunedin
No expense spared on lavish Victorian interiors

Since 1967 it has been owned and cared for by the Barker family who open the castle and its beautiful gardens on a daily basis. Scones at Larch Castle

Our correspondent was there to sample their Devonshire Tea. In his own words: “The scones were of a decent size and had nice crunchy crust but the body was not of the highest standard. Too dry and crumbly for my liking and the jam and cream that came with it looked like World War 2 ration sizes. I took a detour from the tea and had a cappuccino instead. Yes I know a serious deduction in style points and probably makes me a traitor to the true scone blog cause. In the photo I’ll let you puzzle over who had the jam on top. Tiny by true Scottish castle standards but a lovely wee piece of Scotland here in NZ.”  

Don’t worry about jam on top. It was a “Devonshire” Tea after all so, although totally uncivilised, is probably more authentic! We are truly grateful to have our sconological knowledge expanded in this way. Compared to Scotland, however, it seems a pity that New Zealand has just one castle. Mind you, that’s probably what happens when you’re not trying to fend off English invaders all the time 🥴

Dunedin 9077          tel: +64 3 476 1616          Larnach Castle

///resells.pierces.thrived

 

Humbie Hub

Logo of the Humbie HubJust in case readers are beginning to get the wrong idea and assume that we just hang out in places like the Fife Arms, let us banish that thought. Nothing could be further from the truth. This post comes from somewhere that is no less enjoyable but from the opposite end of the spectrum. The Humbie Hub is a small, humble even, village Post Office/Cafe/Shop just south of Edinburgh … but how did we hear about it? Well, somebody told somebody who told somebody else who told our Trossachs correspondents who told us. The scone network of spies and informers spreads ever deeper.

Got to let mum know

A small hamlet like Humbie is no stranger to momentous events. Communication is an odd beast these days. Everybody (especially Alexa) seems to know everything and nothing, all at the same time. Obviously the name Humbie Hub infers that it is at the centre of things … and it very much is! This was particularly true, however,  in 1953 when it was known as the Telegraph & Telephone Call Office. Suffice to say that the good folks of Humbie knew that Mount Everest had been conquered long before the rest of the world. The leader of the Everest expedition, John Hunt, sent a telegram to his mum who was living in Humbie at the time. The news wasn’t released to the rest of the world until the following month on the day of Queen Elizabeth’s coronation.

Joyous
View of Whitburgh House and dovecot
Whitburgh House and Dovecote where dad worked as a forester

By that time, of course, the village was well used to momentous events. A few years previously I had been born there!

Whitburgh cottage over the years
Whitburgh cottages in 1948,, 2012 and the present day

That glorious event was celebrated with much pageantry and joyous celebrations in the street(s) of Humbie … I’m pretty sure there’s more than one street. At least that’s how I imagine it.

External view of Whitburgh cottage
It’s just missing a blue plaque

I left when I was two months old and headed north to the Highlands. I always used to say that although I had been born in Humbie, I’d never been there. Obviously a false statement. Incredibly, sixty four years were to elapse before I darkened Humbie’s doorstep again. The news from our Trossachs correspondents about the advent of the Humbie Hub was all the excuse we needed for another visit.Internal view of the Humbie Hub

Thoughtful

There were lots of people sitting outside in the spring sunshine and as soon as you enter the Humbie Hub you just sense that it’s a happy place. As well as the Post Office you can buy almost anything imaginable in the shop. There’s a therapy room, a studio and rooms to let … they don’t miss a trick. A scone at the Humbie Hub

We ordered a ham and mustard toastie and a fruit scone … both to share. Thoughtfully, they halved the toastie and served it on separate plates along with some salad. Likewise the scone came with a second plate complete with jam and butter. That’s never happened to us anywhere else. Great service from people who, although busy, were cheerful and still took the time to chat. The very delicious scone had been baked by the lovely smiling Jenny. It’s a slight departure from custom but we decided to overlook the lack of cream and award a topscone … great place.

Toilets

Toilet twinning posterIt was intriguing to find that Humbie Hub toilet was twinned with another not quite so plush one in Malawi thanks to the local Primary school. We knew that Scotland had a long standing friendship with Malawi through the Scotland-Malawi Partnership  by hadn’t realised it extended to toilets.  It’s shocking to think, with the £trillions being thrown at wars all over the place, that kiddiwinks are still dying of diarrhoea through lack of basic sanitation.

Me with the panther at Whitburgh cottage
Next the the cottage where I was born there’s a panther made of pennies …. we don’t understand either!

And another mystery,  Now that Iran has launched an overnight attack on Israel, Western governments seem to be urging retaliation. Both Israel and Iran worship the same God, why don’t they ask Him what He would do? Whatever happened to “turn the other cheek?”

EH36 5PJ       tel: 01875 833 262         Humbie Hub

///anyway.shocking.fuses

ps: one of the Trossachs correspondent’s informants for this post was teacher, operatic soprano and artist Margot Archibald

Watercolour by Margot Archibald
“Adagio” by Margot Archibald

On the 23rd of this month she will be holding an exhibition of her atmospheric works at the Humbie Hub. All proceeds  go to MacMillan Cancer and victims of the Holocaust. Pat and I don’t know Margot but very much hope she sells the lot … good luck!

Fife Arms

With the Fife Arms in Braemar being voted the most stylish place in Britain it would seem like the natural habitat for Pat and I. The natural habitat for the twitchers amongst you is right at the end of this post where you can see Pat’s bird list for our stay in the Cairngorms. The dipper,was our favourite on this trip.

the Drawing Room

Braemar, of course is on Royal Deeside and is within spitting distance of Balmoral, the Royals favourite 50,000 acre playground. Meanwhile we are still having to make do on the Delnabo Estate, a mere 3,500 acres. The Royal connection probably doesn’t do the Fife Arms any harm with its cheapest room coming in at £750 per night … and the hotel is fully booked.

Trepidation

Introducing five cartwheeling, somersaulting, back-flipping  granddaughters to such salubrious surroundings is something you do with a certain sense of trepidation.

One of the Picassos

There’s twelve in our party and we were here for afternoon tea. It was going to be interesting and probably not what this place is used to. Before that however some of us went on the art tour. The Swiss couple who own the hotel are billionaire gallerists so the place is hanging with Picassos and other works of art. Pat and I were left looking after the children while the tour was going on. We needn’t have worried too much about the children. They ended up entertaining the other guests to much acclaim on the grand piano in the reception area. When they’re not abusing their grandpa they’re actually quite a talented bunch. Click here for a wee sample

dining area with a chandelier made of kitchen utensils

It seems odd that all the Picassos and other works of art are just hanging in public areas whereas the cozy wee bar we were shown into is kept locked.

The bar at the Fife Arms, Braemar
Our daughters in their natural habitat

It only makes sense when you realise that they have two bottles of whisky priced at £10,000 …not for a bottle, just a nip! Okay it’s 190 years old and was only recently discovered in a forgotten cellar room in Blair Castle. But even though!? And, more to the point, how do you manage to have a room you’ve forgotten for 190 years?

Not normal

Normally afternoon tea would be served in the beautiful quiet drawing room however because there was a host of us they said the chef’s table in the Clunie restaurant would be a better option. We had it all to ourselves which was maybe just as well.

The Clunie dining room
Everyone should have a full sized stag in their dining room

It took a while for our afternoon tea to appear but when it did we were not disappointed.

A private dining area
Private dining with a chandelier made of kitchen utensils

The scones were on the bottom tier and cosily wrapped up in a linen towel while we tackled a delicious array of sandwiches and sausage rolls. By the time we got round to the scones they were still lovely and warm. With the accompanying Fife Arms berry jam and clotted cream served in beautiful silver dishes this was a bit of a no brainer…. topscone!

Not your normal afternoon tea
Mystifying

There’s no doubt that the Fife Arms is a stylish, if expensive, place. It’s fully booked so they are obviously able to find people willing to pay their prices in a small Highland village like Braemar. It’s a kind of comment on the human condition. A Picasso is just paint on canvas yet we give it some magical attribution that artificially imposes an impossible value. It’s the same for a 190 year old whisky, is it worth £10,000 per sip? For simple folks like ourselves, it’s mystifying.

Mind you, not nearly as mystifying as the US and UK’s complete inability to recognise genocide. Britain in particular is more practiced than most in genocide so they should know it when they see it.  Of course, Britain has to follow US’s directives so its eyesight is severely impaired.

Tam o' Shanter fireplace at the Fife Arms, Braemar
Fireplace featuring the poems of Robert Burns

It has been the most wonderful week at Delnabo Lodge. Great house, great company, great scenery, great weather, great food … just great! But as they say “all good things …”

Picture atthe Fife Arms, Braemar
Circle Of Pieter Brueghel The Younger (1564 – 1636)

AB35 5YN.             tel: 01339 720215            Fife Arms Hotel

///everybody.giggle.ramps

ps: Pat’s bird list for Easter 2024, Delnabo estate
1 oyster catcher 2 carrion crows 3 heron gull 4 pheasant  5 Buzzard 6 Great tit 7 kestrel  8 blue tit 9 jackdaw 10 long tail tit 11 chaffinch 12 greylag goose 13 herring gull 14 skylark 15 grey wagtail 16 greenfinch  17 Siskin  18 treecreeper 19 Robin 20 goldcrest 21 goldfinch 22 collared dove 23 curlew 24 wood pigeon 25 song thrush 26 dipper 27 meadow pipit 28 Rook 29 black headed gull 30 mallard 31 Pied wagtail

Bothy Bakery

The Bothy Bakery is in Grantown-on-Spey in the Scottish Highlands, so how did we end up here? And before you jump to conclusions although this is the heart of whisky country, it’s not that. Normally we go to Ness Estates near Inverness for Easter with the family. This year, however, we

Delnabo Lodge
Delnabo Lodge

decided on Delnabo Lodge near Tomintoul, the UK’s highest village. At 1200 feet it’s a risky strategy in March/April when there was still a risk of snow. Have you ever tried rolling eggs in snow? Anyway, we drove there and the family all arrived safely from a combination of Inverness and Edinburgh airports. Delnabo Estate covers 3000 acres and the Lodge can accommodate up to 18 guests in total luxury. There’s only 13 in the family so we invited a family friend to join us.

Sign for the Bothy Bakery, Grantown-on-SpeyHe said he would travel by train and meet us in Grantown-on-Spey. That’s why we are here! Couldn’t find the station so we asked a lovely old  lady in the street who said “There’s no station here but there bloody well should be” smiled and walked on. Turned out the nearest station was in Aviemore, 14 miles away. Our friend doesn’t use a mobile phone (we know??) so we were in a bit of a quandary. True to form, he just turned up having taken a bus from Aviemore.

External view of the Bothy Bakery, Grantown-on-Spey
Grandkids perusing the cakes

Grantown is a nice place with lots of little independent shops and craft places. There’s lots of cafés but a  young chap in one of the art galleries told us the best cafe was the Bothy Bakery, in a local industrial estate. Didn’t sound too exciting but we decided to give it a go anyway. Turned out not to be a café as such but a bakery with a few tables and chairs outside in the car park. No worries, it was a nice day and all the food including the scones looked great. 

The Kiwi owner founded the very successful Mountain Cafe in Aviemore several years ago but it didn’t survive COVID. A scone at the Bothy Bakery, Grantown-on-SpeyHe decided to reinvent his operation and set up the Bothy Bakery, here in his home town. There’s plenty people working in the bakery and they deliver everything to the surrounding area so it seems to be successful. No airs and graces here and no cream either! Our scone was placed in a brown paper bag and we went outside with what they described as some Kick Ass coffee. There was also some prepacked Irish butter and a plastic tub of strawberry jam in the bag. The scone was actually very nice and it was lovely to be sitting out in the sun with all the family. A puppy at the Bothy BakeryHowever, our granddaughters abandoned us completely as soon as a girl appeared with a cardboard box containing a puppy. Can’t compete with a puppy!

PH26 3TA       tel: 01479 788011        Bothy Bakery

///shelters.liquid.twitching