Monthly Archives: January 2024

Scones, topbagnascone, topweird

Callendar House 3

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We’ve reviewed the scones at Callendar House twice before,  once in 2015 and again in 2017. With a seven year gap we thought readers  would be ready for an update.

Wall covering in Callendar House
Wall covering in the tearoom

Callendar House, which used to be owned by the Forbes family, lies about a hundred yards south of the Antonine Wall which the Romans built all the way across Scotland. It formed the northern edge of their Empire. The southern edge was bounded by Arabia and the Sahara desert. They regarded everything south of the Antonine Wall as “civilised” and everything north as “barbaric and more bother than it’s worth”. The Romans are long gone but that view hasn’t changed much over the intervening two millennia. FYI, our house lies on the civilised side … obviously!

Dangers of crinoline dresses

Actually, we just decided to take a walk round the small loch that lies to the east of the house. Something we hadn’t done in a long time. Back in the day, all grand houses had a loch of their own and it wasn’t simply a conceit on the part of the owners. In the absence of any kind of organised public fire fighting service a loch was seen as essential as a readily available water supply in the event of an inferno.

Probably not much use when people like Oliver Cromwell were deliberately trying to set fire to the place but even in peace times, conflagrations  were seen as relatively likely given the number of ladies in crinoline dresses swishing about in front of open fires under a multitude of candelabras. Of course, even if you had your own loch, it would still have been difficult if there was only you and a bucket. You needed servants and lots of them but, of course, that wasn’t a problem for the aristocracy.

Gentrification

If you’ve ever had ambitions, or even just wondered how to become an aristocrat perhaps we can help.  Back in 1783 Callendar House and the Estate that encompassed most of Falkirk was being sold by auction. The Earl of Errol (an oven ready aristocrat) had high ambitions at the auction but was eventually outbid by an upstart scrap merchant, one William Forbes, from Aberdeen. Eyebrows were raised. Not only that, in true scrap merchant style, he pulled the cash from his hip pocket and paid for it on the spot. Subsequently he became Sir William Forbes, 1st Lord of Callendar … and that’s how you join the aristocracy. Common as muck one day and a Knight of the Realm the next! Probably wasn’t quite like that but you catch our drift.Internal view of Callendar House

A new experience

Although Callendar House is pretty much in the centre of Falkirk most towns folk had never been anywhere near it. The Forbes kept it very private. However, in 1963 the local Council took it over, opened it up to the public and established a cafe for non-aristocrats like ourselves. After our walk it was nice to get inside and settle down with some coffee. And we could either have a plain or, surprise, surprise, a milk chocolate and strawberry scone. In the interests of expanding  reader’s sconological knowledge we rather tentatively opted for the latter.

View from tearoom in Callendar House
View from the tearoom


On previous visits we have been quite critical of this tearoom. To us, it never seems to ever reach its full potential. We could still level that accusation now but at least on this occasion there were staff on hand and we were attended to promptly and quite pleasantly if not smilingly.  Still no cream but the scone itself was really nice … no crunchiness but fresh and moist. With this combination there was really no need for jam or cream, it was delicious just with a little butter. A topweird scone!

Provost lamps at Callendar House
Newly refurbished cast iron Provost lamps installed at the back of the house
Agreements

In 1565 the marriage agreement between Mary Queen of Scots and the French Dauphin, Francis was signed in Callendar House. External view of Callendar HouseIt provided that Scotland and France should eventually be united as one kingdom,  We all know how that went. Since then Scotland has been in Europe and then back out again … better to hold onto something if you are starting to feel a bit dizzy. Westminster has now reached some sort of agreement in N.Ireland to restore power-sharing at Stormont. It seems Westminster is going to try to persuade the EU that nothing has changed and that N. Ireland is still in the EU rather than the UK while simultaneously persuading everyone else of the opposite. With Westminster’s well honed skills in duplicity, they may well succeed!

FK1 1YR          tel: 01324 503775         Callendar House Tearoom

///wishes.dozen.parks

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

Braco Coffee

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Braco Coffee is in the pretty little of village of Braco (pronounced break-o) population about 500. You would be forgiven for thinking that nothing much has ever happened here but you would be wrong.

On the outskirts of the village lies Fort Ardoch, a long abandoned Roman fortification. There’s only grass covered mounds these days to denote where the walls once were. Diagram of Roman helmetOnce while walking by the river we could hear distant commands “sinister dexter, sinister dexter.” Eventually it got much louder and a platoon of marching Roman Legionnaires appeared. They were in full costume and carrying spears with a commanding officer at the front giving them their marching orders. We spoke to them and apparently this is what some men do instead of going to football on a Saturday afternoon. They just march around for a bit, then go home again. We don’t understand either but they seemed very happy.

Damned cows!

But never mind the Romans, more importantly, my mum lodged here during WWII when she worked in forestry. 

My mum lodged in one of these houses with a lovely lady called Jessie Allan

My dad was in forestry as well and Braco is where they did all their courting.  Apparently on one of their dates my dad left his BSA motorbike in a field. When they returned (from wherever they had been 🥴) the straw stuffed saddle of the bike had been eaten by a cow.  We tell you this to illustrate the fact that without this wee village this blog might never have materialised. Unthinkable, we know. Logo of Braco Coffee

Somewhere as salubrious as Braco Coffee wouldn’t have been available to dad back then hence mum’s invite to a field. Even if it had been, words like “cuppocinno”, “americano” or “flat white” would have been absolutely meaningless to them. We pass through Braco quite often and have had this place in our sights for a while. The clincher came when the Laird reported the cakes as excellent though he wasn’t sure about the scones. Obviously we had to check!Internal view of Braco Coffee

There was a steady stream of people coming and going  so we had to wait a wee while to place our order at the counter. A scone atBraco CoffeeNormally these cafes are staffed by young girls but here it seemed to be all young lads. Anyway, it didn’t take them long to have us sorted with our coffees and a fruit scone. There wasn’t any cream and the butter and jam was all prepacked but the scone itself was really good. We thoroughly enjoyed it. Not quite topscone but close.

Memories

Afterwards I took Pat a couple of hundred yards along the road to the Pack Horse Bridge. It’s tucked away behind the more modern road bridge over the river Knaik. Pat was surprised and swore she had never seen it before and wasn’t even aware that it existed.It was built around 1650 and must have been the main crossing point for the river for many years. It’s only about four feet wide with very low stone parapets so it must have been interesting taking horses over it.

The Pack Horse Bridge in Braco
Built around 1650 as Ardoch bridge but now known as the Pack Horse Bridge

When we got home I looked up my photo library because I was sure that I had photographed it in the past. Sure enough I had a picture from 2006 … with Pat and the rest of our family standing on it. Such is our memories these days!

Pack Horse Bridge at Braco
Before Health & Safety … now you are not allowed to walk over it
Travelling

As if that wasn’t enough Braco based anecdotes, here is one last one … promise. Given the problems in Gaza and Israel’s genocidal tendencies it made me think of a conversation about Braco when I was a mere sapling. My brother and I were working for my dad during school holidays when one of the elderly estate workers joined us while we were eating our packed lunches. He told us, when he was our age he was an estate worker in Braco with a 7am start to his working day. At that time he lived six miles away in the village of Muthill. When we asked him how he got to and from his work he said in his broad Scottish accent “oh aye, I just travelled“. Puzzled we asked if he maybe cycled or got a bus. “No” he insisted “I travelled“.

Misunderstanding

After some more probing it eventually dawned on us that by “travelled” he meant he walked. He walked six miles to his work in the morning and six miles back again at night. We hadn’t thought of that! The only reason I’m telling you this is that it was the first time I became aware of the vagaries of language. There we were, all speaking the same language but totally misunderstanding each other.

It’s why I’ve always been amazed by the EU, a union designed to stop wars but consisting of countries speaking twenty four different languages. Prior to the EU these countries used to fight like ferrets in a sack so the room for misunderstanding was immense. And yet it has been phenomenally successful at what it was designed to do. Maybe they should make Israel a member … after all it’s in Eurovision but we’d far rather they find some other solution.

FK15 9PX         tel: 01786 880 333          Braco Coffee

///magnets.poetry.showering

Scones, topweird

Bruce Arms

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Well here we are, deep in 2024 already. We hope it’s going to be a good one for everyone. With fast fading memories of Christmas dinner – turkey, stuffing and cranberry sauce etc, what better way to celebrate our first scone of the year than with a cranberry one. Yes, a cranberry scone! Cranberries are just one of the many weird and wonderful things that appear once a year along with trees in your living room and puddings you set fire to. The Bruce Arms, here in Limekilns, clearly had a lot left over because there was only plain or cranberry scones on offer.

Sign for the Bruce Arms in LimekilnsIn previous visits to Limekilns we have visited the Sundial Cafe and Coorie By The Coast, but never here. When we walked in the barmaid asked “are you in for lunch?” We said “no, just wondering if you could give us coffee and a cranberry scone?” As she stood behind  a Ferrero Roche style pyramid of cranberry scones beside the large barista style coffee machine, she answered  with a curious smile “maybe!” When we first arrived at the Bruce Arms it felt a bit lacking in atmosphere but now we had a funny feeling this visit might be a bit different. And so it was!

Assumptions

We assumed that the Bruce Arms would have taken its name from Scotland’s famous King and all round good guy, Robert the Bruce. Turns out not to be the case. It’s named after one Thomas Bruce-Brudenell, Earl of Ailesbury whose family were landowners around here in the 17th century. His main contribution during his earthly existence seems to have been naming things after himself. There’s another Bruce Arms in Tanfield on another estate he owned not far from Newcastle in the north of England. Internal view of the Bruce Arms in Limekilns

Living in a small village

Anyway, Tracy the barmaid soon had us sorted with everything. There wasn’t any cream but our scone came with plenty butter. She’d also given us raspberry jam because that was her favourite.  As we sat there it soon became clear that Tracy knew everyone who came in. Not only that she also knew everything about them. We were soon very well acquainted with all their ailments as well as their next hospital and doctor appointments … fascinating! We weren’t eavesdropping, we just couldn’t help but hear! On the plus side there was no talk of deaths. And also, a pregnancy in the village, by all accounts, was going well.

Victorian photo of the Bruce Arms in Limekilns
Old Victorian photo of the Bruce Arms …. it hasn’t changed much!

Eventually, conversation got round to the ongoing saga that is the Post Office scandal. Although it’s been going on for almost thirty years it has only recently been brought to the forefront by a television drama “Mr Bates vs the Post Office”. Hundreds of Postmasters had their lives ruined, some jailed, by what turned out to be nothing more than a software error. The Post Office is wholly owned by the government so since the screening politicians have been falling over themselves to explain why they didn’t realise what was happening at the time. A scandal in itself. Everyone at the Bruce Arms thought it was an absolute disgrace. Eventually, however, we were asked for our opinion. 

A first

Suffice to say, Tracy ended up sitting at our table interrogating us about cranberry scones and pretty much everything else. We were able to tell her that the scones were great, much better than expected and might even have been topscones had there been cream and the jam and butter had not been prepackaged. Coffee was very good as well. In all our years doing this blog, this is the first cranberry scone we have ever come across. In such circumstances we decided to give it a topweird scone award. Well done the Bruce Arms.

Limekilns at Charlestown
The old disused lime kilns that give the village its name
Did you know?
Chalk comes from limestone and chickens fed on a diet that includes chalk lay hard eggs? Just the shells … you would still have to boil them for at least five minutes if you want them hard all the way through! Honestly, the things you learn on allaboutthescones.com!
 
Estonian Navy ship
The Bruce Arms ,the best pub in Britain. according to the Estonian Navy? Who are we to argue with the Estonian Navy
It was an absolute pleasure to chat to Tracy. We learned loads about the village, in the hour or so we were there, without asking a single question.  Just lovely open and honest people and we felt a real sense of community. It’s lovely to come on a place where everyone looks out for everyone else … we don’t see enough of that these days. We left feeling refreshed and trying to assimilate all our new found Limekilns knowledge.
Things to look forward to in 2024
  • Proper justice and compensation for all the wronged Postmasters. Some years ago I and a group of friends sailed to St Kilda. As soon as we landed the warden told us we should leave because a big storm was coming and this far out in the Atlantic was not a good place to be. One thing we had to do, however, was send a postcard home because of the unique franking mark you got at the Post Office. The Post Office is tiny. I bought a hat, a postcard and a stamp. Simple mental arithmetic could have totalled the cost in seconds but the old Postmaster insisted on writing it down on a piece of paper to add it all up. By the time he did that and then checked it twice the storm was imminent. But no software glitches here! 
  • A reduction in the influence of populist politicians like Trump and Johnson. To be a populist politician you need merely cater to the lowest denomination in your following. And every now and again throw them some red meat. Usually in the form of lies.
  • South Africa taking Israel to the International Criminal Court in The Hague charged with genocide. It’s odd that it has fallen to `South Africa to do this after all their struggles with apartheid. When we think of apartheid we think of Glasgow  in 1968. They renamed St George’s Place, Nelson Mandela Place. The South African embassy was housed there. All correspondence to the embassy then had to be addressed with the name of their most famous prisoner … genius!
  • More scones.Stags head hatstand at the Bruce Arms in Limekilns
 

KY11 3HL       tel: 01383 872259          Bruce Arms

///spared.surveyors.melon

Ordinary, Scones

Basecamp

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Believe it or not we are still at Crieff Hydro for this post, or at least we’re still on the Crieff Hydro estate. Now, however, we are in Action Glen, about a five minute drive from the main hotel. And at the centre of Action Glen is the appropriately named Basecamp bar and cafe. Like all good basecamps it’s where you set out from on your daring adventures. It could be horse riding, off-roading, or even zip lining, There’s four zip lines side by side so you can have races.

Me on zip slide
Is it a bird, is it a plane, no it’s supersconey

Competing with the grandkids I always seemed to come last … greater wind resistance was the problem! So unfair!

Mysterious forces

Slide from the castleThere’s a very tempting giant maze where, if you really tried, you could easily lose grandkids! We have to say, ours had an uncanny knack of finding us again. There’s paddle boarding or fly fishing instruction … whatever takes your fancy really. Then there’s the Glen’s Fort where you can rock climb up to the top of the tower then whoosh down a metal tube back to ground level. There’s Segway experiences and huge inflated pillows you can bounce on. There’s even 4×4 driving for kids. Amidst all this non-stop fun, however,  we were delighted to discover that they also did some serious adult stuff … like scones. It wasn’t too long before we were drawn into the Basecamp cafe as if by some mysterious irresistible force. Ice cream seemed to have the same effect on the kids.Internal view of Basecamp

Unfortunately, the cafe was being manned single handedly by a chap who was completely out of his depth. He was probably supposed to be doing off-road driving instruction and had been told that he would have to do the cafe instead because the normal staff hadn’t turned up. It was all quite funny as he frantically rummaged around looking for things. As he wrestled with the orders the customers felt his frustration and were very supportive. Basecamp is a good place. All fairly basic but the kind of place you’re very pleased to get back to after all the outdoorsy stuff.

No worries

A scone at BasecampOkay, it’s not exactly  high altitude Everest Basecamp but nevertheless we felt a scone report would be appreciated by our fellow sconeys.  A fruit scone with some tea. was our relatively simple order. We took our scone to a table and waited for the tea … and waited …  and waited! Needless too say, our fish-out-of-water server had completely forgotten. No worries it all worked out in the end. No cream but the slightly over-cooked scone came with some prepacked butter and a generous portion of blackcurrant jam. Enjoyable enough but not a topscone. Who cares when you can just sit looking out towards distant Ben Vorlich. The kids didn’t share any of their ice cream but by all accounts it was very good.View from Basecamp

This is your intrepid sconey team for 2024. From Basecamp  we will venture forth into the nether regions of the world in search of topscones for another year. Wish us luck!Scenes at Basecamp

PH7 3LH        Basecamp cafe

///prevented.crowbar.bandstand

 

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

Crieff Hydro

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Let us begin 2024 by wishing all our readers a very happy and healthy year. May your troubles be few and your scones be many! Traditionally it’s a time for reflection on the past year and making ambitious resolutions for the new one. Apart from all the horrible stuff going on in the world, 2023 was good. We had over sixty scones and topscones in such diverse locations as Busta House on Shetland and Coll Hotel on the lovely Isle of Coll. Our most important New Year resolution is not to have any and just enjoy whatever comes along. External view of Crieff Hydro

Memories

And talking of enjoying ourselves a few days back we visited Crieff Hydro Hotel and Spa with some of the family. Crieff is a Perthshire town we know quite well. We have lots of family connections  and many happy memories were made here. Over the years we’ve visited Crieff Hydro several times but always just fleetingly for lunch with relatives. This time we’re staying over with family.

Internal view of Crieff Hydro
a small part of the breakfast room

In 1868 it became Scotland’s first hydropathic establishment where people could go “to take the waters”. It may seem a bit odd these days, however. back then when good clean water was hard to come by, places like this flourished. A favourite for wealthy Victorians. Today it’s still run by the same family. It’s still labeled as a ‘spa’ hotel but nowadays it’s more for massages, saunas and luxury therapies rather than the waters. With over 200 rooms, 50 lodges and over 900 acres of hills and forests, it’s more like a small town than a hotel. It has a swimming pool, tennis courts, ice skating, a couple of golf courses  and off-road driving experiences … oh, and don’t forget the funfair.

External view of Crieff Hydro at night
Main entrance
Family, family family

It’s a family hotel and probably not the kind of place you would book for a quiet romantic weekend away. There are kids everywhere! Not that we could complain, we had brought some of our own. We decided to try the scones in the Wintergardens … a large dining area with magnificent views over the Perthshire countryside. And this is only one of several restaurants.

Internal view of Crieff Hydro
the Wintergardens

The Wintergardens is all self-service.  They had three different types of scone, all freshly baked. A scone at Crieff HydroPredictably, perhaps we chose a fruit one to share … obviously we had to save ourselves for dinner later.  We  loaded up our tray and found a nice quiet table by a window. Surprisingly perhaps, there was no cream and the jam and butter were all prepackaged. The scone itself was very good but taking everything into account it failed to gain topscone status.  

Enchanted forest at Criedff Hydro
Part of the Festive Forest

Having dabbled in hospitality ourselves we are slightly in awe of this place. With its 850 staff and multitude of facilities it must be a logistical nightmare to manage. And yet it has done so, apparently without a hitch, for over one hundred and fifty years … amazing!

Fun and games at Crieff Hydro
Funfair, skating and roller coaster experience with VR
Virtual reality

We are thankful that none of our grandchildren are having to experience anything remotely like what is happening in Ukraine and Gaza or any of the world’s other disaster areas. Their life experiences are so vastly different from some others, and here at Crieff Hydro it’s almost as if we are living on a different planet. And, of course, they do have the best grandparents in the world 😀

PH7 3LQ         tel: 01764 655555           Crieff Hydro

///trainer.amicably.callers