We last visited Balbirnie House back in January when Rishi Sunak was visiting Scotland as Prime Minister for the first time. He was to be Nicola Sturgeon’s fifth Prime Minister, such was the turnover in Tory PM’s. Now she has gone as well but having just passed her driving test at the ripe old age of 53 she seems to be thoroughly enjoying having time to herself again. With an upcoming election Rishi might soon be able to do the same.
He keeps telling us that Britain is leading the world in just about everything. Problem is that, according to a recent report, we are also leading in terms of destitution with 3.8 million people now defined in that way. “Destitution” differs from “poverty” in that it means that people suffering from destitution can no longer afford the basics required to live. Of the 3.8 million, 1 million are children. Normally, destitution results in homelessness. With most of the government consisting of multi-millionaires they won’t have the slightest notion about destitution so they’ll probably just ignore it and hope it goes away.
We offer this bleak assessment of the state of the UK as a backdrop to us wittering on about the joys of lemon curd combined with lemon flavoured scones in a large luxurious country house. We know!
You might wonder why we are back here so soon, after all it’s only been a matter of months. It’s only a short drive from home but the main reason, of course, is that we enjoyed our previous visit and wanted to do again – simple! Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that they give you a cream tea when you arrive.
Locked in?
Balbirnie was built in 1815. With beautiful grounds, a golf course and 31 bedrooms, all with beds the size of Texas, it’s particularly popular for weddings. It even has its own “padlock fence” where couples can return and attach their own padlock. A bit weird but we think we understand?
Lemons were also grown in orangeries and when our scones arrived they turned out to be lemon scones accompanied with lemon curd and clotted cream. A heady combination which we had never tried before. Pat wasn’t too sure so they supplied her with a little dish of raspberry jam as an alternative. We seldom if ever attach the word ‘tangy’ to a scone tasting but these were delicious and ‘tangy’. There’s a first … and an easy topscone.
Senseless
As if the world doesn’t have enough senseless killing at the moment, there’s been yet another shooting in the US. This one was in Lewiston, Maine with at least eighteen people dead so far. The 565th mass shooting in the US this year. Republicans will doubtless trot out that tired and tattered line “guns don’t kill – people do”. Except, of course, people do find it much much more difficult to kill without guns! C’mon Republicans you can do better than this?
Storm Babet has abated leaving much devastation in its wake. We have come through unscathed and are out and about again. Having said that we got here to the Aurrie in a very round about way. Here’s how!
Miracles do happen
You all know by now that when the days start getting shorter we sometimes go to the cinema after breakfast. Today we had to drop our car off for repair, so the garage drove us to the Hippodrome, Scotland’s oldest cinema, to watch The Miracle Club. Set initially in Ireland it’s a heartwarming story about the women of Ballygar going to Lourdes in search of miracle cures. A tad predictable but suffice to say that they find Lourdes a bit of a con. Unsurprisingly no miracles of the God given kind but some minor ones of the human variety. It’s a good watch.
You get a cup of tea and a biscuit at the Hippodrome. It’s called a “cuppa screening”. All too much for a lady seated behind us who snored loudly for a considerable part of the film. Thankfully more a comment on her state of exhaustion rather than the quality of the film. There were a few giggles but no-one woke her. It’s all part of going to the cinema with a load of other retired folk. The garage collected us again and with our car restored and it being a nice day we set off into Fife.
Eventually we ended up in Lower Largo. it’s a pretty little fishing village where Pat used to go on holiday as a teenager. She would come with her best friend by bus and, at the time, although just about fifty miles, it seemed like the other side of the world from Glasgow. That was a fair while ago so she didn’t see much that seemed familiar today. However, what you do notice driving down to the beach is a number of strange sculptures and elaborately carved gates. They’re by local artist Alan Faulds who carves them from solid Scottish oak and decorates them with up to twenty coats of paint and varnish. Presumably to protect them from the salty air.
Service over and above
The Aurrie is housed in what used to be a Baptist church down near the beach. These days it’s a café come gallery and event centre for the local community. It even serves as the cinema. There seemed to be very few customers when we arrived but it was quite busy. Lots of people hanging a new exhibition and setting out craft stalls. It had a great community feel to it, summed up nicely by one of the counter staff. She was sitting at a table with a baby sound asleep on her chest. At least it wasn’t snoring! The baby wasn’t hers, she was just looking after it for one of the women mounting the exhibition. Now that’s service!
Apparently, the Aurrie gets its name from an old Scots word for “area”. It’s applied to the slipway road leading down to the beach. The locals say that there are as many ways to spell it as there are grains of sand on the beach. We counted the grains and can confidently report that that is a slight exaggeration.
Plain as well as spiced apple scones were on offer. It had to be spiced apple! As we sat there with our scone watching everything going on (always interesting watching people deliberating how to hang pictures) we completely forgot to take a photograph of our little spiced apple wonder. Apologies! Suffice to say that it wasn’t topscone material but still very enjoyable. No lessons learned
Having watched The Miracle Club and witnessed community spirit thriving in Lower Largo the total disaster happening in Israel and Gaza seems all the more confusing and sad.
What is noticeable, however, is the one-sided nature of the media coverage. With world leaders lining up, one after the other, in support of Israel it seems as if there is only one side to the story. The whole thing has been sparked by an atrocity launched on a music festival in Israel from Gaza. No-one seems to be asking why they would even think of doing that. As with most of the world’s trouble spots the origins lie with Britain. Past masters at creating countries based on religion. After partitioning Ireland on religious grounds in 1921 you might think that they would have learned from that experience before doing it again in India in 1946 and Palestine 1948? Apparently not!
Legend has it that the Pillars of Hercules are supposed to hold the sky away from the earth. Supposedly so that Atlas could escape damnation. Sadly, today we have to report that if Atlas was here in this part of Scotland he would be very damned. The pillars aren’t working! Storm Babet has come raging in from the North Sea like a woman scorned and the sky seems to have collapsed directly onto the earth. Her rage is affecting the whole of the UK but red, ‘Danger to Life’ notices have been issued. Fortunately we are on the southern fringes of the worst affected areas in Aberdeenshire. Nevertheless, when driving it seems as if Babet is just outside the car chucking buckets of water directly at the windscreen. And we could swear we could hear her laughing hysterically! Our valiant little wipers, however, were struggling to cope.
Surprise
Imagine our surprise then when, through all this biblical rain, we could just about make out a large sign saying “this way to the Pillars of Hercules“. Really? Maybe we could help with some maintenance work? Care was needed, however, because Plato allegedly said that the island of Atlantis lay beyond the Pillars of Hercules and the pillars bore a warning ne plus ultra “nothing further beyond“. We needn’t have worried, it turned out that the Pillars of Hercules is a 25 acre organic farm. It has a shop selling their produce and a cafe. We were able to park very close to the door and make a dash for the shelter within..
Organic
As well as selling their own stuff the large shop sells loads of other stuff, all organic or vegan in nature.
What’s in a name?
It’s an unusual place named in honour of keen neo-classicist Onesiphorus Tyndall Bruce who we last came across when we reviewed the Covenanter Hotel in the nearby village of Falkland. He was the son of slave traders who married into money and ended up owning the whole village in the 1850s. He became keeper of Falkland Palace. Onesiphorus was educated at Eton, where else would he get away with a name like that? We seem to remember him as a bit of a spoiled brat so not sure,150 years later, why he should be commemorated like this! Never mind, the big question was would the cafe have scones?
Fiddly
Yes they did … fruit or cheese! Unfortunately the girl behind the counter may have been called Babet … a face like thunder. She may have just got out of bed on the wrong side but we have seldom experienced such miserable service. Not ‘bad’ service, just miserable. Strange because the service in the shop had been the exact opposite. Never mind, our scone arrived and it was rather good. It had a very crusty crust and the inside was nice and soft with plenty of fruit. The combination of hard crust and soft innards , however, meant it just broke into little bits when we tried to cut it. Picking up the pieces and buttering and jamming them individually was a bit fiddly. If there had been cream and service with just a vague hint of a smile it might even have made a topscone. But there wasn’t so it didn’t.
Eventually we had to leave our cozy little sanctuary with its wood burning stove and face Babet again. Thankfully it had stopped raining but the wind was still blowing a hoolie. Going over the Queensferry Crossing bridge was interesting, Pat never once looked up from her phone.
Winning?
Labour has won two important by-elections at Tamworth and Mid Bedfordshire with a massive swing to them from the Conservatives. They are hailing it as a massive breakthrough destined to send Keir Starmer into Downing Street. Perhaps they should bear in mind, however, that if the ballot paper only had two names on it … ‘Conservative’ or ‘Anyone else’, the Conservatives would still have lost.
According to the forecast the pillars holding the sky up aren’t going to be fixed for another couple of days. We’ll just stay home.
You know how sometimes your day doesn’t quite start the way you expected. That’s what happened this morning. Before I had even had breakfast I found myself dangling high in the air over Falkirk High Street. It’s a long story. But more to the point, how did I get from that situation to Café Belgica in Bo’ness? We should, perhaps, attempt an explanation.
As soon as we came down stairs a friend was waiting at the front door. He wanted to know if I would like to take some photographs from a very unusual and very temporary viewpoint. In short, he’s renovating a building at the end of the High Street and had hired a cherrypicker for an hour to do some work on the roof. Within a matter of minutes I was up there taking pictures from an angle I have never seen before and am probably never likely to see again. Fortunately I had Lee, a very experienced operator with me. For me it was an unusual but great experience! My biggest concern, however, was whether I would get back down in time to go to the cinema which had been our original plan for the morning.
Compassion
No worries, we made it to our local Hippodrome picture palace in time to see a Ken Loach film called ‘The Old Oak‘. It’s a beautifully crafted compassionate movie about a village in northern England where the coal mine has long since closed and the people have next to nothing. The only thing left open is a very dilapidated pub, The Old Oak. It’s the only place for people to meet. When Syrian refugees arrive, however, tensions rise. There are some very ugly scenes but eventually basic human compassion for others who also have nothing wins the day. It should be compulsory viewing for all.
Sliding downhill
When we emerged back into the daylight it was lunchtime and after a short visit to the Bo’ness library we ended up here at Café Belgica which is housed in a huge furniture warehouse. It’s over five years since we were last here and back then we were bemoaning the Winter Olympics. They were being held in South Korea. In particular we were debating the merits of ‘skeleton’ (sliding downhill head first on a sledge) or ‘luge’ (sliding downhill feet first on a sledge). We wondered if there was much more than a handful of people in the world participating in either. The UK was still in the EU at that time and we offered a gold medal to anyone who could keep it that way. Regrettably, of course, we didn’t award any medals!
We had a delicious lunch and afterwards they offered us plain or cheese scones. Having slightly overindulged already it was a cheese scone to share. The service throughout had been cheery and efficient so we soon had our scone. It was presented with lots of butter and jam but we never feel that jam is appropriate for a cheese scone so it was just butter. All in all we thoroughly enjoyed our visit. No topscone but enjoyable nevertheless.
Making sense
Now it seems incredible that we despaired over something as trivial as the Winter Olympics. Today we look out onto a world where there is much more to despair about. Earlier we had seen an fabulous movie about the strength of human spirit and compassion. A couple of weeks ago, we experienced Pat’s McMillan Coffee Morning where people’s generosity and kindness raised £3,500. All to try and make people’s lives a little better. But here we are in 2023 and in Gaza and Ukraine all we see is people deliberately trying to kill each other. It’s bewildering and incredibly sad!
What makes it even worse is that it’s impossible to see any kind of resolution without a lot more bloodshed. Pathetically, in our comfortable little lives, we cross our fingers!
Forgive us if this post reads like ‘a day in the life of two slightly deranged sconies’, but bear with us. Although we ended up here at the Edinburgh Press Club, that’s not why we were in Edinburgh. Rather we were here to see the newly refurbished Scotch Malt Whisky Society Member’s Room. We have been members here since the beginning of time so after a two month closure we were keen to see what changes had been made.
This was the first day it was open again. Unfortunately they should probably have waited another few days before opening. It was still full of workmen doing last minute fixes. We need to return when the renovations are complete. However, we did manage a very nice lunch and a couple of very nice drams from the Coleburn distillery in Elgin. It has has been closed for almost 40 years so just a little bit special.
At the centre?
On our way back up the centre of Edinburgh we decided to visit the actual centre. Most people think that the centre of the city is on the Royal Mile near St Giles Cathedral but it’s actually just at the top of Leith Walk. It’s a simple cast iron bollard which nobody takes the slightest notice of but it is very important. A fact of which the workmen digging up the road seem to be oblivious. Distance is measured from here. For example, when they say that Falkirk is 28.3 miles from Edinburgh it is actually measured to this bollard. Post codes are also worked out depending on their distance from the bollard.
It could well have been made in Falkirk but unfortunately we couldn’t find any maker’s mark. For bollard enthusiasts it doesn’t get much more exciting than this! We’re sure that if someone were to mention it was lucky to rub the ring on top of the bollard there would be a queue.and the workmen would have to be a bit tidier.
Oysters
Just a stone’s throw from the BOLLARD is the Cafe Royal Oyster Bar and that’s where we ended up next. It’s been here since the 1860s and, amongst many other things, is famous for its large tiled pictures that decorate the walls.
For us, of course, it’s famous as the rendezvous point for meeting our friends before and after Scotland international rugby matches. The result in these matches never seemed to matter too much, a great time was always guaranteed in the Cafe Royal. We can even remember some of them!
The Scotsman
Anyway, we had a drink for old times sake and moved on towards the Royal Mile. Unexpectedly we came on the Edinburgh Press Club and discovered that they had scones. Told you to bear with us and we get there in the end. It gets it’s name because it used to be the office and print works for ‘The Scotsman’ newspaper.
After our lunch we didn’t need much so yet again it was simply tea and a scone to share. We sat at the window which allowed us to watch the kaleidoscope of people passing by in Cockburn Street. Edinburgh is such a magnet for tourists that it can be great fun just observing the weird and the wonderful. A silent disco passed within a few feet of our window and, unless you know what is going on, you might think that an entire crowd had simultaneously lost their minds.
The original Edinburgh Press Club opened in 1939 as a sort of social club for journalists, writers and dignitaries. The intention was to make Edinburgh the “centre of sweetness and light.” In it’s current premises it harks back to a time of clacking typewriters before anyone had even heard of the internet and even less of “fake news”. We are pretty sure however that newspapers would have printed as much fake news then as they do now.
Fascinating as all this was, we soon had to turn our attention to our scone. Not before time we hear you say! It came with a generous portion of cream and overall it was fine but definitely fell into the ‘ordinary’ category. We never knew this place existed so it’s good just to know it’s there even if the scones aren’t quite up to scratch.
The sound of wealth
When we left the Press Club to catch our train home we popped into ‘Jinglin’ Geordie’. It’s a pub that used to be a regular haunt in my student days. The Geordie in question was George Heriot a local goldsmith whose pockets were so full of coins that they jingled as he walked, hence the nickname. After he died in 1624, money from his estate was used to build George Heriot’s schools which still bears his name and was the inspiration for Hogwarts, Harry Potter’s school.
After a varied and rather nostalgic day we did eventually get our train back to Falkirk.