Macmillans Kitchen

28 February 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

Honestly, any connection between this and our previous post from Stirling Bull Sales is purely coincidental. We’re away for a few days to recuperate from the frantic days of retirement. In the depths of the Trossachs and Loch Lomond Country Park there is the little village of Gartmore and the Black Bull Inn where we’re hoping our Trossachs correspondents will join us.

A few years back the community bought the Inn in a bid to keep it open. They have done a great job so we like to support them whenever we can. Before we got to the Black Bull, however, we stopped off at the Benview Garden Centre. The cafe is called Macmillan’s Kitchen.

It was a beautiful day so we spent a wee while going round the plant area but soon it was scone time. The restaurant is a big friendly place with an eclectic mix of stuff for sale. However, having pre-booked dinner at the Black Bull we didn’t want to spoil our appetite. It was just a toasted sandwich and a scone … sharing both.

Stop off

We thoroughly enjoyed the sandwich and then it was on to the scone. No cream but it did come with Danish butter and some absolutely delicious jam. The scone was good as well. Quite big but with lots of fruit, just like a fruit scone should be. All in all MacMillans Kitchen was good but not quite good enough for a topscone award. Unfortunate, but a super place for a stop off. It was only a short distance to the Black Bull, our home for the next few days

Salad days

When we arrived at the Black Bull we were greeted with this notice board advising us to have cocktails rather than a salad.

It’s ironic that nowadays it is almost impossible to make a salad because there’s hardly any of the ingredients in the shops. Where there once was supermarket shelves groaning with tomatoes, lettuce and fruit, now there are mostly empty shelves. Sometimes there are signs informing you that customers are limited to one or two tomatos. All sorts of things are blamed for this. As usual,Putin is the main culprit though just how he managed to steal all our fruit and veg is beyond our comprehension. Sometimes bad weather in Morocco is blamed?

One thing that’s never blamed is Brexit. Never mentioned by the government or the media in spite of there being no similar shortages in the EU. Very odd! Rather than mention the word, Brexit is now referred to as “pre referendum” or “post referendum”. Could it be that the current delicate UK/EU negotiations over the N.Ireland Protocol mean that the word “Brexit” has been outlawed?

“Stories never start with a salad” sounds like an absolute truism. Given we may not even be able to get a salad we will just have to do with cocktails. It’s Putin’s fault! Just as well our Trossachs correspondents have joined us!

G63 0QZ tel: 01360 850222 Macmillans Kitchen FB

///suiting.realm.trustees

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

Dobbies revisited

23 February 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 7 Comments

This is “Dobbie’s revisited” because we first visited Dobbies Garden Centre back in 2017. It was big then but now it’s even bigger. Of course, it’s not so much a garden centre now, more a kind of general store where you can buy almost anything you can imagine. You can even sell your car here! They still sell plants though. Their cafe area seems to have got bigger as well … it’s massive! Last time we thought that their scones were too big, surely they wouldn’t have got bigger as well.

Tempting offer?

Before all that though, you are probably wondering why the title picture is of a bull rather than a garden centre. That’s because we had no intention of coming to Dobbies. I suspect that most male readers would not experience any resistance when they ask their wives if they would like to go to the sales. When I asked Pat that very question, she just looked disbelieving and sceptical. Okay, okay, I eventually had to divulge that I meant the bull sales in Stirling but sales are sales … yes/no? All I can say is that she managed to contain her excitement really well!

Stirling Auction Mart has a vast car park however when we got to the roundabout on the main road that leads to the mart it was blocked by a couple of guys in hi-vis jackets telling us we would have to park elsewhere … the car park was full … argh! No parking on the main road so the nearest alternative was Dobbies and then walk back the quarter of a mile or so.

Guineas

We weren’t in the market for a bull. Especially since we would now have to walk it all the way back to the car. The conduct of the auction is a model of efficiency. Immediately after the ‘sold’ bull leaves the ring another simultaneously enters through a different gate. It is continuous. And, although they are all being sold no one seemed to be bidding. It takes a wee while to get your eye in and spot what is going on. One farmer just bid with a tiny flick of his little finger. All bids are in guineas. Why make it simple? It’s tradition!

Size is everything

There were 132 Simmental bulls being sold in our auction. The name and age in months and days of each animal goes up on a large LED screen. The program has lots of other details like height, weight and scrotal size … a bit personal!

Stirling Bull sales — This big fella went for £30,000

After a while we took a break and went to get a coffee in the cafe. No frills and everything served in farmer sized portions but no scones. I asked a farmer sitting beside us to explain why the age of each bull was so exact. He explained that each animal is given a unique ear tag at birth so everyone knows all about it. I asked if the age was particularly critical since they mostly seemed to be within a year of each other. He said it was important because whereas the younger bulls can manage around twenty females, the older ones can manage about forty. I didn’t know whether to feel impressed or totally inadequate.

No jam or cream

Fully loaded scones at Dobbie's Garden Centre Stirling — we resisted the fully loaded scones

We decide to leave before they started on the Charolais bull sale that followed. Even although the auctioneer assured us that some of the bulls were real bargains we left empty handed and that might be the first sale Pat has been to without buying anything. Of course going back to Dobbies to retrieve the car meant that we had to go in and check out their scones. Back in 2017 we had a cherry and coconut scone which did not impress. This time it was to be treacle for me and an empire biscuit for Pat. At least my scone was a good bit smaller than how we remembered them here, so that was a relief. Pat kindly decorated mine with the green jelly thingy from her biscuit. A long time since I’ve had a treacle scone and this one was really good. No jam or cream required, just some butter. A great day out and Pat was feeling spoiled … a sale and an empire biscuit!

Posters at Dobbie's Garden Centre Stirling — Dobbies is older than we thought

Testosterone

With Nicola Sturgeon stepping down, Scottish politics is in a bit of a turmoil. The contest is between Humza Yousaf and Kate Forbes. Another female leader would be good since, particularly after the bull sales, there always seems to be too much testosterone floating around world politics. However the debate has become mired in religion and LGBT rights. Hopefully the arguments are not going to be about that … there are bigger things to worry about

FK9 4UF tel: 01786 458860 Dobbies

///flush.travels.waxer

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

Stirling Castle

21 February 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 11 Comments

The unicorn is the national animal of Scotland. It’s a symbol of purity as well as being proud and untameable. Sounds about right! If you are very lucky you might see unicorns anywhere in Scotland but one of the best places to see them is Stirling Castle. It even has a Unicorn Cafe!

Argyles

Before we went to the cafe we visited the Regimental Museum of the Argyle and Sutherland Highlanders – the much feared ‘men in skirts’. The castle is the spiritual home of the regiment which was formed in 1881 and then amalgamated into the Royal Regiment of Scotland in 2006. We spent some time going round and reading about all the battles in which they’ve been involved all over the world. At the end, however, we were left with the overriding impression that Britain has stuck its nose into all sorts of places where it really wasn’t welcome. Many thousands of soldier’s lives were sacrificed in the name of King and country but in reality the end game was always the same … maintaining the power of those at the top of British society … and enhancing their wealth.

In spite of us humans being pretty spectacular in so many ways in other ways we’re absolutely awful. Considering our time on earth is but a fleeting moment you would think that there would better things to do with these moments than simply killing other people just like ourselves. Luckily, just as the dark clouds of depression were looming ever closer we remembered there would be scones at the Unicorn Cafe … hurrah! Yes, we are unbelievably shallow.

Unicorn Cafe at Stirling Castle — One of three compartments that form the cafe

Oversized

The cafe is run by a company called Benugo. We reviewed their Cafe by Benugo in Glasgow six years ago. Not too impressed then and we still aren’t! We thought everything was very expensive, especially for a self-service cafe. One tourist was informed that the hot food would arrive in half an hour. Presumably to replace the rather sorry assortment on display. You even have to clear your own table? Normal practice for us but we don’t usually expect to have to do it!

On the plus side we did had some soup and bread which was very nice. However, almost £6 for a scone with jam and cream was a surprise. The scone itself was quite nice but huge and, as you know, we’re not keen on oversized scones. It was shared between us but even then we couldn’t finish it all. The overall experience at the Unicorn Cafe was disappointing, nowhere near a topscone.

Coat of arms at Stirling Castle — Royal Coat of Arms of Scotland up to 1603

From the 1100s onwards the story of Stirling Castle is really one of a continuous confrontation between England and Scotland. Over the centuries the castle has been occupied by opposing forces many times. Ironically, in 1502 James IV signed the Treaty of Perpetual Peace with England. It lasted all of eleven years until Scotland declared war on England in support of France … heyho,he tried!

Up to 1603, Scotland’s Coat of Arms featured two unicorns either side of a shield. Later it had only one unicorn and a lion on the other side to represent the strength of England.

Fly to France

Before it became a military base Stirling Castle was a Royal Palace. Mary Queen of Scots was crowned here in 1543 aged nine months and lived here until she was five. A few years earlier in 1507 her grandfather, James IV, had employed an Italian alchemist with the idea of turning any old scrap metal into gold. With continuing failure rumours inevitably circulated that he might be fraudulent. He desperately needed to prove that he did indeed possess wondrous powers. He decided to fly to France from the ramparts of the castle using wings made from eagle feathers. Unfortunately, eagle feathers were in short supply so he used chicken feathers instead. He plunged straight down into the castle cess-pit and miraculously escaped with nothing but a broken leg. Should definitely have used eagle feathers!

No Netflix

There is an area on the ramparts called the Ladies Lookout. It enabled the ladies of the castle to watch their husbands gallop around in the park below killing deer, foxes and probably anything else that moved. Exciting viewing considering there was no Netflix back then!

View of Kings Park from the Ladies Lookout

We do have Netflix, however, so when we got home we decided to settle down and watch the BAFTA award winning epic “All Quiet On The Western Front”. Set in WWI it follows German troops in trench warfare against the French. Amazingly it was only made possible because of Lesley Paterson, from Stirling. She bought the rights to the book with her winnings as a triathlete and ended up co-producing the film. It’s an amazing production but goodness, it’s not an easy watch. It should, however, be compulsory viewing for the likes of Putin and any others preoccupied with warmongering.

Unicorn picture in Stirling Castle — everyone should have a unicorn above their mantlepiece

Did you know?

Baby unicorns are called “foals” but sometimes they are known as “sparkles”.

FK8 1EJ Tel: 01786 450000 Unicorn Cafe

///caked.sorry.bids

Scones, Uncategorized

Karma Hotel on the Lake

15 February 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 7 Comments

This post from Karma Hotel on the Lake is a wee bit unusual. No scones were harmed. In fact, scones don’t feature at all except by their absence. “What are they on about now?” we hear you cry. Well, let us try and explain.

Lostness

It’s a lovely February day and we are out on one of our rambling drives. Pat is quite used to them now. We start off heading in one direction then get diverted, for one reason or another, onto a road we’ve never been on before. Inevitably this leads to an element of lostness … is that a word? Sat Nav isn’t much use if you don’t have any particular destination in mind. Pat used to make worried enquiries like “Are we lost?” but she doesn’t anymore. She knows that we will eventually end up somewhere. I used to pretend I knew where we was going but she quickly saw through all of that.

Suffice to say that after several miles of travelling along very narrow roads we emerged in a place that we recognised. And it wasn’t too far from here. The Lake Hotel is in a lovely setting on the shores of Scotland’s only lake. It has long been on our radar. However, although absolutely positive we knew where it was when we got to the end of the driveway the sign simply said “Karma”. Eh? We were in the right place but it turned out that the hotel had recently been acquired by the Karma Group. It has luxury resorts all over the world.

Karma

When we walked in a girl greeted us enthusiastically from behind the bar. Yes, we could have tea and coffee but no scones. In fact they couldn’t provide anything with tea and coffee … nothing! No cakes, no biscuits … nothing! Extraordinary, this was not the sort of Karma we had been expecting. Had we done something in a previous life that merited this sort of retribution? To be fair the young lady in question acknowledged our disappointment and promised that our next visit would be different. She was embarrassed and said she would talk to the management and get it sorted out. Can’t ask for more than that! The coffee was good though not a top coffee! We will return to check if she has been successful. Watch this space!

View across the Lake of Menteith — View from the hotel across the Lake of Menteith to Inchmahome island

Nationalists

From the hotel you look across the Lake to the little island of Inchmahome on which stands the ruins of Inchmahome Priory. Mary Queen of Scots once took refuge from the English there and the founder of the SNP (Scottish Nationalist Party), Robert Cunninghame Graham is buried there. Coincidentally, Nicola Sturgeon, the current leader of the SNP announced her resignation today. She’s led the Scottish Government for over eight years and has become one of the most adept and respected politicians in Europe. We understand her reasons for resigning. The blocking of the Scottish people’s ability to determine their own future is tiresome to say the least. And no one can withstand the level of vitriol and hate she has been subjected at the hands of mendacious British nationalists forever. She remains a very popular politician … we wish her well!

Also today there was another example of Westminster duplicity. The Koh-i-Noor diamond is to be removed from the crown being used for the coronation of Camilla, the Queen Somesort, in May. It would cause a rumpus because Britain stole it from India about 175 years ago and now India wants it back. Obviously, India should have it back but we would advise them not to hold their breath. Why?

While Camilla is being crowned she will be sitting next to her hubby whose Royal bahookie will be sitting on a great big lump of stolen goods. The Stone of Destiny was stolen from Scotland in 1296.

Rogues

Scotland struggled for many years to get it repatriated. Indeed we did get it back from Westminster (it now resides in Edinburgh Castle) but in typical Westminster fashion it was returned grudgingly with strings attached. They can legally demand it back. What sort of parcel of rogues does that? We do know, however, that their leader’s posterior will be resting on it in May? Some say that the one being transported back to a London is a fake and the real one remains in Scotland somewhere. Oooo, if that’s true will it mean Charles III’s coronation is null and void? Exciting!

A really enjoyable day out but we stuck to the main roads on our way home.

FK8 3RA tel: 07871 179950 Karma Group

///lamp.cries.winds

Ordinary, Scones

Woodside Hotel

4 February 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 5 Comments

When the American War of Independence started in the ironically named Concord in Massachusetts the first shot was fired from a pistol that was made where we are today. Yes, you guessed it, we are in the village of Doune, once famous for its pistol making. The first shot was fired from the American side and we are pretty sure that whoever was on the receiving end wasn’t bothered about where the gun was made. It would be ironic, however, if whoever got shot was from Scotland … or even Doune! Even more ironic if the person firing it was from Scotland as well … we like to be even handed. Today we are not thinking of starting a war but simply to visit the newly reopened Woodside Hotel.

Mosaic at the Woodside Hotel, Doune — Mosaic at the main door

Transformation

For years we have been driving past this place and been dismayed to see it become increasing dilapidated. For a few of years it lay empty. All change, however, because it was recently taken over by people who already run a couple of popular establishments in nearby Stirling and Dunblane. They’ve spent a lot of money and it shows … very pleasantly surprised as soon as we walked in the door. It has a light airy dining room, a modern bar area and a large coffee lounge.There’s also a nice cosy little snug area with a wood burning stove.

We were seated in a large bay window. A spot of brunch was the order of the day and then a scone to share. First thing we noticed was the coffee. It was fab and , of course, it turned out to be our favourite Cat’s Pyjamas from Henry’s Coffee Company. They only had fruit scones left and it turned out to be quite a spicy affair with lots of raisins, sultanas as well as things like peel that you don’t normally get. It was very nice and the spiciness was really unusual. Bit on the large side for our liking and, of course it came with the ubiquitous Rodda’s Cornish clotted cream. Not quite a topscone but delicious nevertheless.

Think we might be back here quite often because one of Pat’s favourite shops is only about 100 yards away.

Righteous and indignant

It’s a small village but Doune is famous for more than just starting far away wars. It has a castle that’s featured in Outlander, Game of Thrones, Monty Python and the Holy Grail to name but a few. It has a distillery and a huge antique centre. As well as all that it is also a favourite place for the fairy folk. They are often seen dancing on the nearby Fairy Knowe. And if you think that’s a bit far fetched, the news these days seems to be full of balloons. No, not the type we have in government! Huge Chinese ones that are floating over the US’s nuclear arsenal in Montana. Goodness, John Dutton would never have stood for that sort of thing over his Yellowstone ranch. Always amusing when governments get all righteous and indignant about others spying on them …. as if they didn’t do exactly the same!

FK16 6AB tel: 01786 643399 Woodside Hotel

///reset.cherry.overjoyed

Ordinary, Scones

Food@34a

1 February 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 4 Comments

At the risk of becoming repetitive and boring with our cinematic exploits … here’s another. You are all aware by now that we have developed a rather sinful habit of going to our local cinema … in the morning! They even give you a cup of tea and a biscuit! How nice is that?

External view of the Hippodrome in Bo'ness — Hippodrome, Scotland’s oldest picture palace

In our defence, we do try and bring you a fresh scone with each of these outings … this time it’s the turn of Food@34a.

There are garages … and then there are garages

Timing wise, this morning was rather difficult because our car was booked in for its annual MOT. Our garage is out in the boonies but no need to worry. They said they would give us a lift to the cinema, MOT the car and pick us up afterwards. How nice is that?

This time the film was called “Till”. An excellent movie set in 1955. Based on a true story about a fourteen year old black boy, Emmett Till, moving from Chicago to Mississippi for the summer to be with his cousins. He met a horrendous end, however, at the hands of white supremacists. In essence though “Till” is about a mother’s love for a lost son. It was extremely well done but we found it a difficult watch. It left us both a bit raw.

Hell

For some reason it always seems naughty to be coming out of the movies and then going for lunch. And since. they gave me an indulgent slice of caramel shortcake with my tea instead of a biscuit, I’m sure I’m going straight to hell.

Food@34a is directly opposite 1884, a cafe we reviewed five years ago. It’s a rather odd name and the external appearance cannot be described as particularly inviting. Inside, however, it was a different story … bright and clean and airy! Problem was, however, all the tables were taken. We were just about to walk back out the door when a lady called over and said that we could have their table as they were about to leave. How nice was that?

As a bonus the table was at a window so we are able to look out at the traffic … yeah! Honestly, the ‘biscuit’ at the cinema was all we had had all day so we were ready for something more to eat. After an excellent bite of lunch we launched into the fruit scone we were sharing. It was nicely presented with little bowls of jam and butter. We asked our server if they had cream. She said that they sometimes did but she would go and find out. She returned very apologetically saying that they didn’t have any today. Disappointing but how nice was that?

We particularly liked the food and cheery helpful service at Food@34a and would not think twice about going back. Oddly, in the short time that we were there it went from completely full to pretty much empty. When the garage picked us up they had given the car a clean bill of health. How nice is that?

Ethics

In out previous post, Hope Street Cafe, we said that we couldn’t really understand why our PM, Rishi (couldn’t punch my way out of a paper bag) Sunak hadn’t fired his Party Chairman over his £4.8million tax oversight. Well he has gone now, but only because Rishi’s ethics adviser advised him to do so. Just the presence of an ethics adviser infers that Rishi is unable to tell right from wrong by himself. Now he has a couple of dozen bullying complaints about his Deputy, Dominic Raab to deal with. He’s appointed a high powered lawyer to help him with that. The Tories certainly love their scandals!

EH51 0EA tel: 07380 600235 Food@34aFB

///fixture.melts.snares

ps: a newspaper in Fife has recently reported on a local man who was trying to sell a Roll On Deodorant.

An article about a local man trying to sell a roll on deodorant

And another headline “Pensioner’s Big Cock Becomes Tourist Attraction”.

Scones, history and a dollop of politics

Monthly Archives: February 2023