Fat Jacks

15 October 2021 billpaterson1@me.com 7 Comments

Here we are again visiting my elderly aunt in Callander. We’ve got a nerve, she’s not that much older than us. The last time we were in this cafe, however, was three years ago and back then it was called Applejacks. Now its undergone a minor name change to Fat Jacks. Don’t know what that’s all about because it still looks pretty much the same.

Looking north up Loch Lubnaig — Loch Lubnaig from the Cabin. My cousin used to say there was the wreck of a plane on the hill on the left but I never knew whether to believe him or not

Square sausage

Our reason for being out and about was actually to visit the Cabin at Loch Lubnaig. When we used to travel this road every weekend going to Glencoe this was just a little lay-by with a litter bin as the only facility.

A few years back this café was built but because we were always on our way to somewhere else we have never stopped to investigate. We also realised that we would never stop there unless we made it our destination. So that’s why we ended up here. Just our luck, best laid plans and all that, it turned out to be just a serving hatch. No sitting in but lots of seats outside … and no scones …. argh! Heyho, it was a lovely day. We got a coffee and shared a roll and square sausage. We’ve been together many years now so Pat has got used to extravagant fine dining!

For a scone we had to backtrack to Callander, hence we ended up at Fat Jacks. Dedication or what? There were only cherry scones left so that simplified the decision making. They had obviously been baked as a large round then cut up in a triangular shape, a bit like a pizza. No cream or jam though. The lady behind the counter explained that the owners were trying to sell the place so there wasn’t a large selection of anything. And it had that kind of feel about it. The scone had plenty cherries and was nice enough but without the usual accoutrements it was never going to be a topscone.

Hells angels

Not to worry, it was lovely sitting in the sunshine watching the good folks of Callander going about their business. The general peace and quiet, however, was somewhat rudely interrupted by a gang of Hells Angels roaring into town on their Harley Davidsons. They parked right beside us in Ancaster Square and we watched with interest to see what would happen next. They took off their helmets and there wasn’t one of them below retirement age. Should have known … how else can you afford a Harley? They wandered off along the street … probably anxious to find a scone!

Progress ?

In our previous post from Applejacks you will doubtless remember us mentioning Scottish satirist James Thomson Callendar.

wind in Callander — This shop window might be better placed at Westminster

A couple of hundred years ago he published a book rather nattily entitled “The Political Progress of Britain or an Impartial History of Abuses in the Government of the British Empire in Europe, Asia and America since the Revolution in 1688 to the present time, the whole tending to prove the ruinous consequences of the popular system of Taxation, War and Conquest.” You’ve probably all read it by now but we wonder what he would have made of our progress since these days? Not much we suspect. Back then, however, he was obliged to flee the country for daring to criticise the government. No sense of humour or just unable to face the truth … you decide.

FK17 8ED tel: 01877 330370 Fat Jacks FB

///discussed.tungsten.marathon

Scones

Dunimarle Castle

8 October 2021 billpaterson1@me.com 5 Comments

We are cheating a bit with this post. We’ll explain as we go along. Dunimarle Castle is something of a revelation for us. It stands on a highly elevated site overlooking the Firth of Forth just a twenty minute drive away from home. And yet we had never heard of it or even seen it until today. How on earth can that happen? Sometimes we surprise ourselves with the depth of our own ignorance.

Wellintonia avenue at Dunimarle Castle — Avenue of Wellingtonias used to from the main entrance to the castle

Don’t get on the wrong side of the king

Turns out that back in the 11th century this was the seat of the Thane of Fife, Lord MacDuff. He had upset the king, MacBeth by not attending his inauguration. Consequently, MacBeth ordered MacDuff’s wife and children to be murdered at Dunimarle in order to clear the blood line. It’s just a wild guess but we think MacBeth may have been a Tory. In 1835 Dunimarle, or Castlehill as it was known originally, was almost completely demolished and rebuilt by one Magdalene Erskine.

Magdalene was quite a woman! She got married to an Admiral Sharpe when she was in her sixties but it only lasted three days … no comment! Her brother was a soldier and she intended Dunimarle to be a museum for his extensive collection of 850 artworks ‘acquired’ on his many campaigns. Recently all these artworks were moved to Duff House near Banff but we think it’s time for them to be returned … Magdalene would have wanted that!

The Edible Wall

The thing that attracted us here however was the Edible Wall. We had seen a notice about it and imagining a wall made of scones with jam as mortar … and instead of cope stones there would be lashings of cream. It had to be done! Sadly there were no scones. The wall was impressive nevertheless.

In fact there were no scones anywhere at Dunimarle, not even a cafe. We had to go a few hundred yards to the east to get a scone at the Biscuit Cafe in Culross. Technically this post should have been entitled “The Biscuit Revisited” but then, so far as we are aware, MacBeth never ordered anyone to be put to death at the Biscuit, nor does it have an edible wall. Not as good a story so hopefully you’ll forgive us for cheating just a wee bit.

The Biscuit Café

Our last post from the Biscuit was back in 2015 and although we have been back to Culross many times since then, scones have never been on the agenda. Culross is steeped in history. You get a real feel for what a 17th century village must have looked like. Names like ‘Stinking Wynd’ however may have given some of our delicate 21st century senses a bit of a shock! It’s looks also belie the fact that it was once the centre for the export of coal with the first mine in the world able to extract from beneath the sea. It also has a Palace built around 1600, though it was really more of a rather grand house for a wealthy merchant.

Enough, what about the scones, we hear you cry. It’s always a treat to visit this café. It’s part of the Culross Pottery and Gallery so there are lots of things made on the premises that you can admire and buy. It also has a conservatory and a lovely sheltered garden area for sitting out.

They only had plain scones left so after a bite of lunch we shared one between us. It was nicely presented and came with plenty jam and cream. Back in 2015 we didn’t think their scones merited a topscone award and unfortunately it was the same this time. Just didn’t quite make it. The Biscuit is always worth a visit though so don’t let that verdict put you off in any way.

Street view in Culross — typical Culross street

Comedians

Last time we wrote about this place Jeremy Corbyn had just unexpectedly triumphed in the Labour leadership elections. At last there was some clear blue water between Labour and the Conservatives. Now, of course, Corbyn is history but in spite of now being led by a knight of the realm that clear blue water now looks ever more brown and murky. So with no opposition whatsoever over the past decade we now have a stand up comedian in charge of the country. To observe the sunny uplands that Boris keeps seeing we know that we would have to have many more pints of whatever he is on! We’re not that ignorant.

Great day at Dunimarle and the Biscuit.

DUNIMARLE CASTLE: KY12 8JN tel: 07713 629040 Dunimarle

///stunts.relief.snitch

THE BISCUIT CAFE: KY12 8JG The Biscuit

///spoons.depending.encroach

Scones, Top

Vera Artisan Bakery

5 October 2021 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

The Laird got in touch to say that Vera Artisan Bakery in Stirling might be worth a visit. The Laird (full title Laird of Dumyat) is an avid sconey and the only member of the aristocracy willing to lower himself to our level so we value his judgement.

Display case at Vera Artisan Bakery — Pies and cakes all made here

The first thing you notice walking into Vera Artisan bakery is that it is quite small, only three tables. But you also notice its light bright interior and the two large display cabinets full of little wonders. And you don’t have to be here very long however before you notice something else … it’s a happy place!

Toasted

our server at Vera Artisan Bakery — our happy server

There’s great cheerful banter between the staff working behind the counter in the bakery itself and those out front serving the likes of us. These days when lots of places get swallowed up by large multinationals, it’s delightful to come across a small independent and apparently thriving enterprise like this. We decided to share some lunch and do the same with a fruit scone for afters. Everything was great but then it came to the scone. “Would we care for it to be toasted?” Why not? It duly appeared, toasty warm and accompanied with nice wee pots of jam and cream.

My dad used to say sarcastically of some of my mum’s baking efforts “It won’t need pegging down”. Well this scone almost needed pegging down, it was so light. Overall, very nice indeed.

After no deliberation at all we decided to award a top scone. Well done Vera Artisan Bakery. This place could be described as small, beautiful, happy and independent … words that could be describing Scotland in a few years time?

We feel there is something odd going on in government and the media at the moment. Surprise, surprise we hear you say! In spite of an abundance of supply problems, no-one seems willing to mention Brexit as a possible cause. They cast around looking for reasons for staffing shortages but seem allergic to using the ‘B’ word. Very strange, like it’s a taboo word.

Britain is also the only country in western Europe to have decreasing exports over the past year. Must be the weather! Anyway as long as places like Vera continue to thrive, we’ll be okay. Many thanks to the Laird for the heads-up.

FK8 1NA tel: 07928 140636 Vera Artisan

///jelly.sings.oppose

ps Our newly appointed Cheshire correspondents sent this picture of their scone at John Lewis in Cheadle Royal shopping centre in Greater Manchester. Apart from a comment saying it was ‘delightful’ there was no further information. They are rookies after all so we have to make allowances. Many thanks, great first effort!

///pardon.grit.fell

Scones, history and a dollop of politics

Monthly Archives: October 2021