Monthly Archives: April 2021

Scones, Top

Scone 54

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Now, you may be puzzled by the Scone 54 title of this post? Let us explain. We don’t normally get personal in this blog … except of course with eejits like Johnson and Cameron. Normally we try and keep things fairly anonymous because after all this is a serious, insightful, hard hitting blog that politicians and shoddy sconeries have come to fear! Yeah right! However, on this occasion we are prepared to make an exception. This is a little bit personal but, we’ll hope you agree, for a valid reason.

Good friends, A&A (we’ll keep it slightly anonymous), were celebrating their 54th wedding anniversary and as a result  invited us round to their house  for a cream tea. Now do you get the Scone 54 title?

Lucky, lucky lucky

We thought about the invitation for all of what must have been a fraction of a nanosecond … a no-brainer! What an achievement!  Not many people get the pleasure of spending this amount of time with their loved ones. Having said that, all our friends have been married for what seems like all of their lives a

54th wedding anniversary
scones al fresco

nd they are, without exception, very happy. Not sure if that says anything about our generation or the times we were brought up in but probably not. We have all just been very lucky with our partners.  At 54 years, however, A&A are leading the charge . I am reluctant to say that I was their best man because it reveals my age as being greater than mid fifties … but I was!

Scotland is having wonderful weather for April so we sat in the their back garden (COVID rules still don’t allowed us to have friends indoors) and were treated to homemade scones served with strawberry jam and lots of cream … oh, and bubbles. Can you think of a better way to spend an afternoon?54th wedding anniversary

The scones were definitely topscones … and we are not just saying that out of politeness to A&A. Just the right size, slightly crunchy exterior and wonderfully soft interior. In fact, everything was perfect.

54 at 54

54th wedding anniversary By the time we had eaten all the scones and drunk all the bubbles we wanted to carry on so Pat  invited everyone round to ours for a BBQ. That went on until well after dark and many sausages and burgers were dispatched in the process. The culmination was a marshmallow toasting session over the fire.

A fantastic way to celebrate a fantastic achievement with fantastic friends. If you are wondering what 54 years of  togetherness, making and eating scones looks like, look no further. Many thanks A&A.
54th wedding anniversary

Because Scone 54 is more of a personal post we thought we might leave the politics off to one side for a change. Then we thought that A&A would definitely prefer us to take a potshot at Boris & Co.

Westminster now seems to be abandoning the voluntary nature of the Act of Union that currently binds the four distinct parts of the UK together. It has done for over 300 years. Now they are thinking of bringing in legislation to make it illegal to have a referendum on Scottish Independence until Westminster thinks it’s a good idea … in other words, sometime never! The Union will be maintained by force of law. The people of Scotland won’t have a say in their own future. That’s UK democracy! Au contraire Boris,  the Scottish people will have their say and you better believe it. With a bit of luck you will go down in history as the man who broke the Union! Okay, that’s it, another marshmallow please.

Scones, Uncategorized

Panko crusted balls

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What, we hear you cry! What are panko crusted balls?  And, more the point, what have they go, to do with scones. Well, just hold on a minute and we’ll try and justify this post. 

The main reason is that these wee beauties are a kind of by-product of scones. They are in fact scones without the sugar and without the fruit. Next time you are making scones just set a little of your mixture aside before you put the sugar in and you can make these little savoury balls.Panko breaded balls

Once you have rolled the dough into perfectly formed orbs of deliciousness, all you have to do is cover them with panko breadcrumbs and bake them in the oven until they’re golden brown. We know … just when you thought you knew what a breadcrumb was, those cunning Japanese come up with a new more exotic variety. Typical! Panko crusted balls are for dipping. Tasty with sour cream and chive sauce, curry sauce or anything other sauce that takes your fancy.Panko breaded balls with scones

Bingo, scones and panko crusted balls all at the same time! What more justification do you need? Well, perhaps the main reason for making this post was to have a moan at Boris and his pals who currently rule over us. Their corrupt government at Westminster seems to get deeper and deeper in sleaze by the minute. But then that’s hardly surprising … or even news! Though they will need a bigger carpet to sweep it all under.

ABOMINATION

And here’s another justification, as if any more were needed! An article in the Guardian has been brought to our attention. It is about slab scones?!You are supposed to fill a baking tray with scone mixture then, when it’s baked, cover the whole thing with clotted cream and decorate with strawberries. Sacre bleu!

Slab scones are an abomination and cannot be allowed. The Guardian, of all newspapers, should have known better than to publish such ridiculous nonsense. As you read this we are already preparing our protest placards in the best Father Ted tradition … DOWN WITH THIS SORT OF THING!

Scones, Uncategorized

Aberdeen butteries

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WARNING 1: if you want to live as long as the Duke of Edinburgh do not eat too many of these. WARNING 2: if you fancy making some Aberdeen butteries set a whole a day aside.

By this time you may be wondering why we are making them. Well, principally because we were prodded with a big pointy stick by one of our Trossachs correspondents. She was brought up eating Aberdeen butteries in Burghead, one of our favourite places. It is home to one of Scotland’s best eating establishments, the Bothy Bistro … banana and bacon croissants to die for! Burghead also has two New Years. One on the 1st January (a kind of light rehearsal) and and then another on the 14th. The 14th is the Julian calendar new year and they celebrate it with Burning the Clavie.

the Clavie King
with the Clavie King at The Bothy

The Clavie King goes all round the town to the Doorie Hill carrying a blazing barrel of tar on a pole above his head. And then the whole town dances in the street until the wee small hours. It’s great fun. Not sure if this sort of behaviour has anything to do with them eating Aberdeen butteries but it may well be a contributory factor.

Rowies

Oddly, in Aberdeen itself  these butteries are more commonly known as ‘rowies’. “The toonsers ca’ them rowies and the teuchters ca’ them butteries,” most probably said by a resident of Aberdeen. We must be teuchters! They have also been referred to as “evil bricks of tasty.” You’ll understand why when we take you through the making process but maybe just a look at the ingredients will give you a clue: 250g butter, 125g lard, 1 tablespoon soft brown sugar, 500g flour, 2 teaspoons of dried yeast, 450ml warm water, pinch of salt … there’s a lot of fat! preparation of Aberdeen butteriesFirst you make a paste with sugar, yeast and a little warm water. Then mix the flour and salt and add the yeast paste once it has bubbled up. Leave it for 30-40 minutes to rise.preparation of Aberdeen butteries

Then cream the butter and lard and divide it into three equal portions. When the dough has doubled in size, give it another good knead and roll it into a rectangle about 1cm thick. Spread one of the butter portions over two thirds of the dough. Fold the unbuttered bit over half of the buttered bit then fold the rest over to make three layers then roll it out again to its original size … phew! Leave for 40 minutes in the fridge.

Yawn!

Then you do all that again using the rest of the lard/butter portions … TWICE! By the time we had done all that it was getting near our bedtime! Then divide the dough into 16 pieces and shape into a circle before putting them on your baking tray. Then leave for another 45 minutes until they rise. What … another 45 minutes? It’s now past our bedtime however fear of the big pointy stick drives us on! Finally you can put them in the oven … hallelujah! 15 mins at 200C is all they need … that’s the shortest bit of the whole process!Aberdeen butteries

Trawlermen

We have no idea what these things should look like  except we have heard of them being referred to as “roadkill croissants” and judging by that description we felt we had just about got it right. How do you think they taste? Surprise surprise, buttery … very buttery. Due to the constant layering, the texture is firm but flaky and not at all unpleasant. They were originally made for the Aberdeen fishing industry because they would keep longer than any other bread on lengthy trips at sea. And we can completely understand that a couple of these would easily keep a trawlerman going for a whole day. The “evil bricks of tasty” presumably comes from folks knowing that with each bite they were knocking a month off their lives but were unable to help themselves.Aberdeen butteries

We had ours in various ways … just as they were, lightly toasted with jam, with a sprinkling of salt. All perfectly acceptable. However, we’ve also heard that they are excellent with cheese (preferably roquefort) or even with corned beef? Versatile or what? Anyway, with a bit of luck, the big pointy stick has been put away … for a wee while at least!

David Cameron has ended up in the doodoo for a bit of under the table wheeling and dealing. Wouldn’t be so bad if it didn’t seem to typify this  entire sleazy self serving Tory administration. Probably unfair to tar them all with the same brush, there must be one decent one … musn’t there??

Scones, Uncategorized

Wayzgoose Diner

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More news from our Bathurst correspondents as we in Scotland gently edge towards the same sort of freedom that they enjoy. Freedom to not only leave the house but to venture further afield … and to meet people … yeah! We’re not complaining, we are very happy with the way the whole COVID-19 thing has been handled in Scotland but like everyone else we have almost forgotten what ‘normal’ actually means. In New South Wales our correspondents can at least move around the state … and this little corner of Australia is four times the size of the UK! Anyway, today they made their way to the village of Leura and the Wayzgoose Diner. And what sort of name is that anyway? In their own words:

Welcome to Leura“Today we passed through Leura, a village halfway between our home in Bathurst, and Sydney. A spot we often stop at when travelling to Sydney. As it was coffee time, we called into the Wayzgoose Diner, and decided to sample their scones. To our surprise the scone arrived in a terracotta flowerpot, in which it had been cooked. Quite a nice scone, if a little odd looking with its tapered bottom”.

Flower pot scone at the Wayzgoose Diner
A flower pot scone

Intrigued by the name “Wayzgoose”, and thinking it was some sort of Canadian bird, I googled it and found:

“A wayzgoose was at one time a celebratory dinner given by a master printer to his workmen each year on or about St Bartholomew’s Day (24 August). It marked the traditional end of summer and the start of the season of working by candlelight.”

Working by candlight … those were the days! Our correspondents also sent these clippings about the Country Women’s Association (CWA) from the Sydney Morning Herald.

Sconversations for the anxious and depressedSMH clippings for the Wayzgoose DinerKnead to know


In another cutting a Mrs Whitton explained that the secret of a perfect scone “Don’t knead the dough. Don’t fiddle or keep laying or touching it”. You have been told!

SMH clippings for the Wayzgoose Diner
Mrs Whitton and a tray of 40 scones


As always, a huge thanks to our Bathurst correspondents. But, would you believe it – another Aussie report has just come in! This time from our Brisbane correspondent. We think the intention was to assure Pat and I that not all Australians are as boorish as him.

Apparently, at a recent function, he was belittled, berated and generally ridiculed by colleagues for putting jam on top of the cream on a pikelet (crumpet) he was preparing to eat. Serves him right … not going to get any sympathy from us. But good to hear that Australia is not indulging in those devilishly delinquent Devon ways.

Back in the UK, Boris promised that everything would go back to the way it was once Brexit was achieved. And so it has, one of the few promises he has kept … rioting on the streets of Northern Ireland. Thanks Boris, you could do well to heed Mrs Whitton’s advice.

Scones

Cheese muffins

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In what is fast becoming a tradition we bring you another non-scone – cheese muffins. Yes, they’re not scones but they are the best we can do in the circumstances. During lockdown we’ve already brought you tattle scones, Scottish empire biscuits, Welsh cakes, German Devil’s farts and even Norwegian skillngsboller  … you can’t say we’re not trying. VERY TRYING, we hear you groan! Anyway cheese muffins make regular appearances in our house. Unlike her, not so successful hot cross buns, Pat can rustle up a batch of cheese muffins in a veritable flash. They’re delicious.

Cheese muffinsAll you need is 150g plain flour, 50g cheddar cheese (roughly chopped), large pinch of salt, 20ml baking powder, 1 egg and 100ml of milk. Mix it all together, divide into individual portions and stick them in the oven for 7-10 minutes. Bingo, lay them out on a wire rack.

How do you eat them? With strawberry jam if that’s what floats your  boat but probably best just with a little butter. On this occasion we decided to add even more cheese … wonderful.Cheese muffins with cheese

The cooker is everything
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AGA recipe bookBack in 1982 when we bought this house it came complete with an AGA cooker. Pat took to it like a duck to water. It hasn’t changed its design since the first one was made in1947 and you can’t say that about many things these days. They say that an AGA becomes part of your family. We can testify to that. Here you can see Pat with the Christmas turkey and, in the background, you can also see our cream coloured AGA! AGA Christmas dinnerThis is what our AGA family looks like  … honest!

Changing the world

I think we’ve mentioned before that Scotland is holding the Scottish Government elections in a month’s time. It’s not going to be just any election, no, no, no. It’s going to be an election with the potential to change the world, to change maps, to change everything as we know it.

Should the independence leaning parties get an overall majority, it will make Westminster’s refusal to permit a referendum look more than a wee bit silly. At the start of the campaign in the 2014 referendum the SNP started with 27% support. This time they’re starting  at over 50%. The unionist parties are terrified. They keep telling us we’re too small, too  poor and too stupid so you’d think they would be glad to see the back of us. In an independent Scotland there would be free scones, free jam and free cream for everyone though no one has actually promised that … yet! We are looking forward to the day when the people of Scotland, rather than a bunch of public school numpties in Westminster, can actually decide their own future.  Anyway, no matter what happens, it will be exciting … watch this space.

Scones

Hot cross buns

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Gosh, it’s Easter again and who would have thought it would be the second one in lockdown. Our traditional family holiday in Inverness has been cancelled so we are not in the best of moods about that. Easter is a jolly time however. A bit like Christmas but with magic rabbits and chocolate eggs so much more believable. And, of course, that seasonal favourite, hot cross buns! We thought that, to get into the Easter spirit, we should have a go at making them … it’s not easy, in fact, it’s a right palaver!

In our naivety we thought it would be like making a scone. Not a bit of it! It’s much more akin to making bread. You mix up your flour with sugar, spices, yeast and the zest of a lemon but then you have to leave it for a hour or so to proof. And hopefully double in size!Hot cross buns in the making Then you have to knead it again, add sultanas and peel then leave it for another hour. What? Do they think we have nothing better to do? Oh, alright, we don’t!

Hot cross buns, piping the crossAfter that you form the dough into smaller balls and leave them for half an hour to increase in size. Then you have to pipe a cross on top with a mixture of flour and water. By the time we were finished Pat was definitely hot and definitely cross which is no doubt how they got their name. No it wasn’t. Unbelievably they got their name from the fact that they should be served hot and they have a cross on top … and they’re buns!

Breathalyser food
Hot cross buns being glazed with syrup
glazing with hot syrup

Originally they were a pagan thing to celebrate the Goddess Ēostre and in 1592, Queen Elizabeth I decreed that they were so good they should only be eaten  on Good Friday or at burials. Must be great to have that sort of power. Just think what you could do with it? Greedy folks should be careful, however. They can have a high alcohol content (all that yeast and fruit) and throw you over the legal limit.

We would like to report, after going to all that trouble, that our hot cross buns were a major success. But no. Flavour was good but unfortunately they were a wee bit on the firm side. Not the nice soft consistency we have come to expect of this type of bun. Interesting exercise but I don’t think Pat will be repeating it any time soon!Hot cross buns

Elections

In Scotland we have the mouth watering prospect of six weeks of electioneering leading up to polling day on May 6th. Lots of empty words and empty promises to look forward to. Alex Salmond has popped up again (hell hath no fury like a former First Minister scorned) with his new Alba party. He is less popular now in Scotland than Boris Johnson, an incredible feat in itself so we can only imagine it has more to do with his own deluded conceit than anything else.

Happy Easter everyone, the weather is scorchio today so enjoy it while you can. Fingers crossed,  this will be the last lockdown Easter.