The Lobster Pot

Although Blackness is not far from home we haven’t visited much in the past ten years. Why? Because the pub closed down and it’s a dead end road so there was nowhere to go when you got here. You could go for a walk, visit the castle but that was about all. It was tragic because Blackness itself is lovely with a nice beach and a nice castle but it needed the pub.

Blackness Castle on a December day
Blackness Castle in December

However, our doughty Trossachs correspondents tipped us off that the pub had reopened and was worth a  visit. And they weren’t wrong.

A brisk day

First though a little bit about the castle that has stood here for over 500 years. Sometimes known as the Ship That Never Sailed because, from the seaward side it looks like a great battleship. When German submarine U-21 ventured up the River Forth in 1914 that’s what they thought they saw when they raised their periscope. They decided to venture no further. Having walked along to the castle on what might be best described as a brisk day, we were in need of sustenance.

Internal view of the Lobster Pot at BlacknessWhen you enter the Lobster Pot the sign above the door “We’re All Doomed” gives a hint of what’s to follow.  The interior is lovely and warm with a very welcome open fire at one end. Help Me First lifebeltIt is a bar/restaurant which also incorporates “The Wee Shop”. You can buy your loaf, your cornflakes, your pint and have a meal all in the same place … brilliant! There is a veritable cornucopia of paraphernalia virtually everywhere you look. On the ceiling directly above our table was this lifebelt. In the unlikely event of us ever going on a cruise, we want two of these please.

Who needs cream?

The Lobster Pot has only been open since August and it must be a welcome return for the village. All the staff were very friendly and soon had us sorted with some lunch and a couple of fruit scones. Initially they said that cream was no problem but later said that it was. Not to worry butter and jam would do just fine … we can rough it!

The scones and tea arrived after a perfect lunch. Unfortunately they did not live up to the standards we had already come to expect of the place. Enjoyable enough but just a tad on the stodgy side. The jam was from England and the butter from Ireland … what can we say? Nevertheless, the Lobster Pot is an excellent pub and we will be visiting Blackness much more often as a result. We hope it goes from strength to strength.

Blackness is Braw poemWhen Robert Burns was visiting the area in 1787 he had been obliged to leave nearby Bo’ness after calling it “That dirty ugly place Barrowstounnes” . He sought refuge here and was duly impressed because he wrote this poem “Blackness Is Braw” (Blackness is Superduper). Perhaps it was the ladies bathing in the mineral rich sediment of Blackness Bay (they still do it) that impressed him most. He always had an eye for the ladies after all!

Vintage photo of fishermen at Blackness This vintage photo of Blackness fishermen in 1919 was hanging on the wall. Amongst them there’s Ewan ‘Muffy’ McLachlan, George ‘Rasher’ Redmond, ‘Raving Ross’ Rintoul, ‘Mad Jack’ Melville and ‘Dark Drew’ Storer. It could easily be mistaken for a modern day picture of Boris’s new Conservative cabinet. We think, however, that we would rather be governed by ‘Mad Jack’ and his crew.

Help, please!

Before we leave the Lobster Pot perhaps you could help us with this? Close to where we were seated was this little boxed diorama. As you will be aware a diorama is a three-dimensional scene used to creatively express learning. However, we were stumped by this. What were we supposed to learn? Diarama at the Lobster Pot in BlacknessIt contains a fisherman pointing at a cooked lobster on top of a creel, five bottles of Guinness, a terrier dog wearing wellington boots and a large snake wound around a naked lady. There is some deep meaning here but we are perplexed. Perhaps some readers may have a greater insight?

No more scones until 2020 so while you are pondering naked ladies, snakes and lobsters may we take this opportunity to wish you all a very merry Christmas and a happy and healthy New Year. Many thanks for your indulgence during the past year.

EH49 7NL             tel: 01506 830086            Lobster Pot

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The Park Hotel

Oh dear, it’s Friday the 13th. And it’s the day after the night before! Everyone has awoken to a new reality.

The lemmings of England have voted on the promise of “Get Brexit Done”, as if it is all going to be done and dusted in a few months. Yet another Boris lie … it will take years. Nevertheless, as we speak, they are all rushing headlong towards the white cliffs of Dover wheeeeeeh! Without even a hint of shame, Jeremy Corbyn has said that he will not lead the party into the next election, completely overlooking the fact that he totally failed to lead them into this one. It’s not so much that the Torys won the election but that Labour threw it away.

Tug of War

In Scotland, the Labour party has joined Hebridean sheep in the ‘rare breeds’ category. Unbelievable when you think of the party’s historical strength in this part of the UK. The election, however, has amply demonstrated that the UK is indeed made up of two different countries each pulling in opposite directions. Will the SNP’s resounding success make any difference? We doubt it. Other than self interest, Boris & Co have little or no interest in Scotland. Perhaps the best news is that the duplicitous DUP have been diminished, leaving N.Ireland with a majority of nationalist MPs. The future of the UK has never seemed as uncertain as it is today.

Taking in all this reality is tough … too much reality! A delicious scone might help draw a veil over some of the election’s more unsavoury aspects. Our attention had been drawn to a cafe, not far from home, that we were totally unaware of. When we got there, however, it was closed!  Some special event apparently … boo!

No normal scones

So, downhearted and heading for home, we passed this place, the Park Hotel. We thought it might be worth a try. One of our Canadian nieces used to work here many years ago so it has a special wee place in our hearts. It’s a bit weird really because it is probably the nearest eatery to our house yet we haven’t been in it for years. You can see from the title picture that it is hardly a thing of beauty … a box for people to sleep in. Nice enough inside though. Internal view of the Park Hotel, FalkirkIt’s part of the Hannigan Hotel Group that owns four hotels, three of them in Falkirk. What had started as a dismal kind of day turned out to be the complete opposite. When we asked if we could have tea and scones they said “Yes, of course, we don’t normally do scones“. Eh?

A scone at the Park Hotel, FalkirkThe service was super friendly and super fast. Barely three minutes had elapsed between placing our order for two cream teas and we had them in front of us. The scones came with a selection of jams, a huge bowl of cream and a large pot of tea. What more could you want on Friday 13th?

Surprise

Now, we would have really liked to have awarded a topscone. Lots of things were right – the service, the cream, the jams, the tea were all good. On top of that, when we went to pay, the grand total was £5.50. When we queried the bill they said that because they “don’t normally do scones” they only charged us £1 for the two cream teas … incredible! Unfortunately, the scones, although very good with plenty of fruit, were just slightly doughy and not quite up to our topscone standards … shame!

We never did figure out why they “don’t normally do scones” so we don’t expect to be so lucky next time. The Hannigan Hotels’ strap line is “investing in Falkirk” so more power to their elbow.

The marble Peking lions at Dollar Park
10ft tall marble lions. The ball rolls around freely in the mouth
Wonderment

Across the road from the Park Hotel lies the entrance to Dollar Park. It is guarded by two large marble lions from Peking gifted by local boy, Robert Dollar, in 1922. As youngsters we use to be fascinated by how those cunning Chinese had managed to carve these lions with perfect spheroid marble balls in their mouths. We are still fascinated! Another source of childhood wonderment was the kaleidoscope. Invented by Jedburgh man, David Brewster, in 1871.  Kalaeidoscopes are also still fascinating. They really were very clever back in those days. Lets hope that Bojo and his mates are half as clever.

FK1 5RY          tel: 01324 628331         Park Lodge Hotel

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A plum pie in New Zealand, Northlandps: As if leaving the EU wasn’t bad enough, we received notification from our Kiwi correspondents that they had found a plum pie that they felt was better than any of our scones. The nerve! Apples and pears! However we just happen to know that The Office café in Maungatapere also does excellent scones. If any readers happen to find themselves in Maungatapere, pop into the Office and try both. Let us know which is best … scone or the pie?

Caffe Carlucci

A coffee cup at Carlucci Caffe, EdinburghToday we are back in the Edinburgh, Athens of the North. That title is perfectly understandable when you look around – it is a beautiful city. A couple of hundred years ago, however, it wasn’t quite as civilised as it appears now. For example, one of the punishments for persistent miscreants was for them to be placed in the stocks and one of their ears nailed to the wood. The only means of escape was to tear their own ear off the nail … arrggh! The damaged ear then served as a permanent signal to others that that individual was thoroughly untrustworthy – hence the term ‘earmarked’. Has anyone seen Boris Johnson’s ears recently? We think we now know why he wears his hair the way he does. Of course, things have improved since these days, however, judging by the film we went to see, perhaps, not that much.

Uplifted!

We are at the Cameo Picturehouse again. This time to see Sorry We Missed You, a movie by Ken Loach. An excellent film but not an easy watch. One of those films where everyone leaves the cinema in complete silence. A graphic illustration of what years of Tory rule has done to this country and the hard working people at the bottom of the heap trying to raise their families. Many just get into an endless cycle of debt and are driven into what’s now known as ‘working poverty’.  Should be compulsory viewing for anyone thinking of voting Conservative on Thursday. As you can imagine, we left the cinema in silence as well. Walking out of the cinema though we spied what looked like a scone emporium directly opposite the cinema … Caffe Carlucci! Our spirits lifted – we felt wind beneath our wings once again!Internal view of Carlucci Caffe, Edinburgh

Frozen

Not that much wind, however – just enough to get us over the street! Caffe Carlucci is a nice enough place in a thoroughly unspectacular sort of way. There seemed to be only a solitary member of staff and he didn’t seem that pleased about it. A scone at Carlucci Caffe, EdinburghWe had a light snack which was excellent and then a fruit scone. We didn’t choose a fruit scone, that’s all they had. Both scones came in a rather peculiar elongated shape and were accompanied by prepackaged butter and jam none of which came from anywhere near Edinburgh. The butter was frozen to a degree that rendered it completely useless. There wasn’t any cream so just scone and jam for us. All in all not a bad place but definitely not the greatest scone experience.

Only a couple of days to go before ‘E’ Day on the 12th. Mild apologies to readers outside the UK who have little interest in Britain’s politics. ‘Mild’ because they have not had to endure the last three months of electioneering. It has been ghastly! Parties falling over themselves to promise us the earth, the moon and the stars! We have already used our postal vote, so we’re done. Of course we voted correctly and hope that everyone else does the same. Where on earth will we be on Friday? Will Boris show his ears at last?

EH3 9JP         tel: 0131 466 3188           Carlucci

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Scone and sausageps This is what happens when your order involving a potato scone and a sausage roll gets misheard by the waiter. You get a scone with link sausage! It’s a new one on us. Definitely fits the ‘weird’ category. And no cream or jam by the look of it?? Unfortunately we cannot remember who sent this in but thanks, whoever you are.

pps our correspondents from, jam first, Devon, have sent us a photo of a mixture of Saracen and Carron K6s in Truro in, cream first, Cornwall K6 telephone boxes in Truro

Fabulously, they also found these Falkirk made cannons while in Paraty in Brazil but not on the same outing … obviously!

Carronade cannons in Paraty, BrazilMany thanks

Coffee Bothy – revisited

In the late 16th century, Lady Doune of Doune Castle, otherwise known as Margaret Campbell, must have been a formidable woman indeed.  Her son was known as the Bonnie Earl of Moray because of his good looks, athleticism, skill on the dance floor and his love of scones. Haven’t been able to verify this last claim but we just think he would have been an avid sconey. However, these attributes ended up making him an enemy of King James VI whose Queen, Anne of Denmark, was paying too much attention to the Bonnie Earl. Unfortunately the King was a Boris-like knock-kneed slobbering individual with none of the charms of the young Earl. Eventually, James got the Earl of Huntly, otherwise known as the Cock o’ the North, to take “whatever measures necessary” against Moray.
Best laid plans
In 1592, Huntly contrived to burn Moray to death by setting fire to another of Moray’s country seats at Donibristle in Fife. Moray fled with his head on fire but was struck down by Huntly’s men. Huntly drew his dirk and slashed Moray across the face. The Bonnie Earl’s last words were “You, Huntly – you have spoiled a better face than your own!”. Ouch! Definitely a sconey!
Now this may sound a bit like modern day politics. Unbelievably, Huntly, the King and everyone else associated with the dastardly deed denied all knowledge. Sound familiar? We now think that the Duke of York’s current memory problems may actually be a hereditary affliction affecting all aristocracy. No doubt due to centuries of in-breeding!  It’s just a thought but maybe we should cut him some slack … or maybe not?
Mothers
Moray’s mum, Lady Doune wasn’t having any of it and sought to expose all concerned. She had her son’s naked, stabbed and mutilated body put on display in the Kirk of Leith. A painting of the body was made for exhibition. She had his blood stained shirt paraded through the streets of Edinburgh. The outrage was such that the King had to go into hiding for a while in Glasgow and Huntly was imprisoned at Blackness Castle. That’s mothers for you.
Internal view of the Coffee Bothy atDeanston Distillery, DouneAnyway, all this is simply to tell you that today we are in Doune visiting one of Pat’s favourite shops. After a couple of hours of fairly intensive retail therapy, however, we were both in dire need of a scone. So on this -4ºC frosty day we decided to head a few hundred yards along the River Teith to the café at Deanston Distillery. Almost three years since we were last at the Coffee Bothy. so it was due a quality check anyway.External view of Deanston Distillery, DouneThe last time we were here the scones came as a brace and that is still the case. A scone at the Coffee Bothy at Deanston Distillery, DouneThey are quite small but if you want to try two different types, this is the answer. Unfortunately, on this occasion they only had fruit left so that wasn’t an option. Plenty of jam and whipped cream as well so the Coffee Bothy did not disappoint second time around. Just a smidgen off topscones but very enjoyable nevertheless.
You never know the minute
In our last post about the Coffee Bothy we were lamenting the fact that Deanston distillery (about 20 miles from Falkirk) had become the closest to home. It used to be Rosebank distillery (a few hundred yards away) but it closed in 1993. It had produced Scotland’s most light and floral whisky and came to define Lowland whiskies in general. Since then, however, it has been announced that Rosebank is to be completely renovated and will reopen in the next year or so. Not only that, a brand new Falkirk distillery, imaginatively called the Falkirk Distillery, is in the process of being built at the other end of the town and will also be opening within a few months. Bottle of whisky at Deanston Distillery, DouneNow, although this news may not excite all sconeys please remember that both distilleries will undoubtedly feature a coffee shop. Excited now? Watch this space.
For the first time in its history, the BBC has resorted to public challenges to try and get the Prime Minister to be interviewed by Andrew Neil like all the other party leaders. No success so far but don’t be surprised if Neil’s home suddenly goes on fire with him in it.
FK16 6AG            tel: 01786 843013          Coffee Bothy TA
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The Rose Café

Logo of the Rose Café, EdinburghWe used to live in Edinburgh and were well acquainted with its varied nightlife. It was a surprise, therefore, to discover that there was a theatre on Rose Street. We had never heard of it. Upon investigation it became clear that when we lived here it wasn’t a theatre at all, it was the Charlotte Baptist Chapel. Not somewhere we would have frequented back then or, indeed, at any time. In 2012 the congregation gave it up in favour of a more suitable venue a short distance away. It wasn’t until Danish ballet dancer Peter Schaufuss bought it in 2017 that it became a theatre. It has several auditoriums, a studio, a rehearsal room and a café – the Rose Café.

We were in Edinburgh to see a movie called “Knives Out” at the Cameo Picturehouse. An excellent whodunit that Agatha Christie would have been proud of. Go see, if you get the chance.Internal view of the Rose Café, EdinburghSince we were in town, however, we thought we should check out the Rose Café as well. It turns out that the basement of the theatre is actually run as a kind of Comedy Club for aspiring comedians. A local production company called Gilded Balloon is in charge of organising things and they promote dance and music events in other parts of the theatre throughout the year.

Black marks

The café is quite big with a variety of seating areas. Since it was quiet when we arrived we chose to luxuriate on some large comfortable sofas tucked away in a corner. We were fortunate thougA scone at the Rose Café, Edinburghh because soon it become very busy indeed. Fruit or plain scones were on offer so, after some excellent lunch, we opted for fruit. Mon dieu! When they arrived they were preloaded and you all know what we think about that sort of nonsense. It does save you all that cutting and spreading business but we still prefer to just do it ourselves. No cream either but apart from these black marks the scones themselves were good … not top but good.

The staff were very helpful and friendly and we enjoyed sitting reading all the promotional material about upcoming events. It was great to make ourselves familiar with a place that, up until today, we had no idea existed. We even booked up for an event next April!Internal view of the Rose Café, Edinburgh

We take our collective hats off to Danish ballet dancers. They seem to be willing to invest vast amounts of their own money in the Scottish arts scene. Indeed Peter Schaufuss has just bought yet another huge venue, St Stephen’s Church. It will become another performance venue in the city similar to this Rose theatre. There can’t be anything more uncertain than running a theatre where you are for ever at the mercy of a fickle public. In the run up to election day on December 12, it seems to be the other way round … the public at the mercy of fickle politicians. When nothing in modern politics can be taken at face value it is almost impossible to predict what might happen with any certainty.

Christmas at the Dome, Edinburgh
Christmas at the Dome in Edinburgh
Incomprehensible

Given that there is little in the way of a credible opposition, there is only one absolute certainty. Scotland will, yet again, end up being governed by a party for which it has never ever voted. Unbelievably, some Scottish people have so little faith in their own country and countrymen, they are willing to vote for far right extremists like the current Conservatives. All to ensure that Scotland maintains it’s status as the only country in the world governed by another, different country. Totally inexplicable … thank goodness for ballet dancers!

EH2 4AZ         tel: 0131 226 4000        Rose Theatre Café

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Falkirk Made Friends K6ps We have mentioned in the past that our local town, Falkirk, was in danger of losing all its K6 telephone boxes. That was in spite of them all being manufactured right here. A group of ‘the concerned’ (Falkirk Made Friends) has at last managed to persuade the Council to adopt three thus saving them from immediate removal. A small but significant step. We will keep you posted.

Falkirk Made Friends is a small campaigning organisation (non violent) celebrating Falkirk’s rich manufacturing heritage.