Monthly Archives: June 2018

Ordinary, Scones

Down The Hatch

Logo of Down The Hatch Café, Bistro, Port EdgarWhen you come to a place called ‘Down The Hatch’ you are probably not expecting a fine dining experience. When you realise it’s situated in a wooden hut in the middle of the industrial estate that is Port Edgar marina, any such lingering thoughts will have been well and truly put to bed. This place, however does not pretend to be anything other than what it is. A no frills restaurant with a kind of North American diner vibe going on. For that it has to be commended.

Got Poutine?

Seems that it can’t quite make up its mind whether it is Scottish or Canadian. It appears to have a foot in both countries. However, having one Canadian owner and the other, his Scottish wife, goes a long way to explaining all the maple leafs and other Canadian references.

Their blurb says that the food is influenced by North American tastes and that their USP  is that they always have  a different  daily special … “that  tends to walk  on the wild side”.Staff tshirt at Down The Hatch Café, Bistro, Port Edgar All the staff wear t-shirts which features a maple leaf against a Saltire background. However, what is the “Got Poutine?” all about? Turns out that poutine is a dish which originated in Quebec and is now thought by many to be Canada’s national dish. It consists of twice fried french fries with cheese curds covered in gravy. Dietitians all over the world can be heard screaming “why the hell do we bother?”

Sloppy research

We skipped the poutine however the same could not be said for the scones. The big question was, would they be walking on the wild side as well? Pat decided on cheese and I went for my usual fruit. It wasn’t until afterwards we discovered that they also had bacon and maple syrup scones. Now call this sloppy research if you like but we would definitely have tried one of these had we known about them. Maybe next time. Internal view of Down The Hatch Café, Bistro, Port Edgar

We’re not sure about walking on the wild side but there was a distinctly North American feel about the scones. Big and served with steak knives! Maybe that’s all they had but it did seem a little bit odd. Needless to say they did make short work of cutting a scone so maybe they are on to something. Spreading the frozen butter wasn’t easy though! A scone at Down The Hatch Café, Bistro, Port EdgarPat found her cheese scone a bit doughy and left some of it but I finished mine even though it wasn’t particularly inspiring. Overall it was a tad disappointing though it was good to see that the coffee was local from the Forth Coffee Roasters. Forth Roasters coffee cup at Down The Hatch Café, Bistro, Port EdgarOf course our favourite local coffee remains the Cat’s Pyjamas from Henrys Coffee Company … brill!

Prima donnas

For all you petrolheads there is a garage directly opposite Down The Hatch which specialises in renovating Land Rovers … its called Engine 710. It gets its name from a lady who came in asking for a replacement ‘seven ten’ cap. Eventually they discovered that she had been looking at the ‘OIL’ cap upside down … heyho! What else is going on in the world? Ah yes, the World Cup is in full flight with loads of prima donnas all trying to outdo each other’s acting skills. We can’t wait for it to finish so that Coronation Street can get back to its usual slots. Today is also National Cream Tea Day. Get out there and cream tea it!Forth bridges from Port EdgarEH30 9SQ     tel: 0131 331 1387        Down The Hatch

Scones, weird

The Almond Tree Café

We have been aware of the Almond Tree Café in our home town of Falkirk for many moons but for some reason have never ventured inside. Maybe it’s because it’s tucked away from the main shopping area near what used to be the Glasgow Buildings. A huge tenement which, at one time, housed hundreds of people right in the town centre. When folk complain that the centre of Falkirk is dying they probably forget that not so long ago, lots of people actually lived in or near the High Street. It made the town centre much more vibrant than it is today. Now, no one lives there.

Where the Glasgow Buildings used to be is now a car park. The only good thing that can be said about it is that parking is free after 3pm. Hence we were using it this afternoon. That’s how we ended up at the Almond Tree Café. Internal view of the Almond Tree Café, Falkirk

Thunderbolts

It is quite a big modern place, with a large seating area upstairs. Ssurprise, surprise, turns out that it is part of the adjacent Struthers Memorial Church. It had never occurred to us that the two were connected in any way. The bookshop full of Christian books and the fact that the almond tree is mentioned quite a lot in the Bible (Aaron’s rod etc) should, perhaps, have made it pretty obvious. Sometimes we can be a bit slow on the uptake. The Struthers MC is a Pentacostal church founded on the memory of the Rev J P Struthers. He was a powerful preacher and children’s author in Greenock until his death in 1915. He was actually struck down at a relatively young age while preaching. Must have said something wrong!

Bizarre systems

Many regard the SMC as a cult where they think of themselves as anointed and speak in tongues. Not exactly our cup of tea but, lo and behold,  they did have scones … cherry and coconut scones to be precise. Weird scones to go with their weird servery. You pay for what you want then you have to walk round the a corner to collect a cup then bring it back and fill it up from a machine … bizarre. They definitely need some divine guidance here or even plain common sense would do. A scone at the Almond Tree Café, FalkirkAt the end of the day the scones were actually very good though the coffee wasn’t great nor were the people behind the counter. Probably volunteers so perhaps we shouldn’t criticise too much.

The SMC only has about 300 members over seven or eight bases in the UK so goodness knows how they make it pay. The Almond Tree itself is only open about five hours a day Tuesday to Saturday which wouldn’t make it a successful business and the shutters were down as we were leaving at 3.30pm?? The sign for the Almond Tree Café, Falkirk

Anyway, speaking in tongues, or glossolalia as it is properly known, is defined as: the fluid vocalising of speech-like syllables that lack any readily comprehended meaning. The Secretary of State for Scotland, David ‘Fluffy’ Mundell, has raised glossolalia to dizzying new heights at Westminster this week. It’s ironic that Westminster is defending what it is doing in the name of democracy. Have they forgotten that devolution was forced on an extremely unwilling UK by the EU. Why? Because the UK was deemed the most undemocratic state in Europe and the EU felt that devolution would give parts of the UK some sort of say in how they were governed.

Wringing hands

Now, Fluffy, a complete waste of oxygen where representing Scotland’s interests is concerned, has decreed that decisions taken in the Scottish Parliament are of no value whatsoever if Westminster just happens to disagree with them. What sort of devolution is that? He has also said that Scotland is no longer a partner in the UK, we are part of the UK. When did that happen? The UK is registered with the UN as: 2 countries (England and Scotland), 1 principality (Wales) and 1 province (N. Ireland). It probably doesn’t matter any more … the Union is bust. Meanwhile the Labour party has mastered the difficult art of simultaneously wringing their hands whilst sitting on them.  Little wonder the SNP has seen its membership sore in the past few days.

FK1 1PW       tel: 01324 626000        The Almond Tree

Ordinary, Scones

Coffee Kiln Café

His great grandfather, Sir Everard, was descended from a London Prince and his other great grandfather, Knight Errant, was descended from the Prince of Wales. No, we are not going off on another rant about the aristocracy, we are talking about the pedigree of the Baron o’ Buchlyvie. Perhaps the world’s most famous and probably most expensive Clydesdale stallion.  He was sold at auction in 1911 for 9,500 guineas after a dispute over ownership that ended up in the House of Lords. That was a lot of money back then! His stud fees were astronomical. However if you want to listen to a bothy ballad on how they could be avoided just click here.

Anyway this is just a rather roundabout way of telling you that today we are in Buchlyvie. It used to be a busy wee place, being the crossroads for two railway lines. However, they were closed long ago and nowadays it is just a sleepy little village with a rather busy road running through it. Internal view of the Coffee Kiln Café, BucklyvieNormally we are part of that busy road as we drive through on our way to the west coast but today we decided to stop at the pottery/café and see what was on offer. Plenty … inside there’s a wealth of lovely pottery in all sorts of patterns and colours. All produced in the workshop at the back of the café. Some of the pottery at the Coffee Kiln Café, Bucklyvie

Drop scones?

We spent ages looking round and ended up buying quite a few different pieces. Of course, this was extremely taxing. We had spotted some scones on the counter so it was kind of inevitable. We decided to share one! A scone at the Coffee Kiln Café, BucklyvieSadly it was a huge disappointment. We had a slice of gingerbread as well which was nice . However, although the scone was served with lots of jam, and cream it just didn’t taste good. The worst we had had in a very long time. Not even sure if the Baron would have enjoyed them. Not sure either if he occasionally got a bit over-amorous. In 1914, after having his leg broken by a kick from a mare, he had to be put down.

Subsequent to his burial however he was dug up and his skeleton displayed at Kelvingrove Art Gallery and Museum in Glasgow. Anyway, it’s a shame, but perhaps the Coffee Kiln should just drop scones (sorry) from their menu and concentrate on their lovely pottery.

View from the window of the Coffee Kiln Café, Bucklyvie
View from the window
A person of principle

Today Donald Trump shook hands with Kim Jong Un but somehow, after all the hype, the world doesn’t seem that much safer. Credit where credit is due however, it may lead to something yet. As might the resignation of Justice minister, Phillip Lee, so that he can vote against the government’s Brexit policy. A person of principle in the British government … wow!

FK8 3LP      tel: 01360 850405       Coffee Kiln Café TA

Ordinary, Scones

3 Villages Café

What a beautiful day to be in this part of the world. As we drove down from the Rest And Be Thankful with our ears popping it was great to suddenly come upon the open expanse of Loch Long. And, even better, the possibility of a scone in  Arrochar village on the opposite shore. On previous visits we have gone to the Arrochar Tearoom but this time we decided to go a little further on and try the 3 Villages Café which is right on the loch side. The view from the café towards the mist covered crags of Ben Arthur, better known as the Cobbler, is pretty good.View of the Cobbler from the Three Villages Café, Arrochar

Confusion

When the Arrochar and Tarbet Community Development Trust bought the Pit Stop Café they renamed it the 3 Villages Café. Its Post Office, it was intended to serve three local villages.Unfortunately it has all the hallmarks of a community run project where no individual is actually taking overall responsibility.  Although the locals may still call it by its old name ‘the Pit Stop’ the signage is confusing for tourists. It should be one or other. There also seemed to be no explanation as to why it was called the 3 Villages. We could only think of two. When we asked the answer was Succoth, Arrochar and Tarbet.

We’re not exactly strangers to these parts but even we had never heard of Succoth. It’s a collection of forestry houses at the head of the loch, which we had always assumed was simply part of Arrochar. Heyho, you live and learn but still a bit confusing for visitors. Internal view of Three Villages Café, Arrochar

Not doing the job

The café simply needs someone to cast a fresh eye over it. Empty the overflowing ashtray at the door, remove the weeds and litter from the outside seating area etc. A few minutes work would improve the look of the place immeasurably. When we pointed these things out to the very pleasant and friendly staff the answer was “oh, but we have someone who does that for us“! Well obviously they aren’t doing it! A scone at the Three Villages Café, ArrocharAnyway, we hoped that our scones would help improve on first impressions but no, it wasn’t to be. There was nothing particularly wrong with them but nothing particularly right either.

Torpedos

There are too many things wrong here, especially for tourists which is annoying because it has great potential. Needs to get its act together. Anyway, in our previous post we mentioned the Skelmorlie Mile and contemplated the potential need for its resurrection in the face of Britain’s increasingly belligerent attitude to our friends and neighbours in Europe. Twelve months of negotiations have produced absolutely zilch so maybe the old torpedo testing centre in Arrochar will need to be resurrected as well? History teaches us that Britain has been at war with many countries over the centuries. However, call us slow on the uptake if you like. We have suddenly realised that Britain only ever goes to war with countries that simply won’t do as they are told. Watch out EU!

G83 7AB             tel: 01301 702570          Three Villages Café TA

ps: If you have been enjoying the lack of telephone box news recently  … sorry ! In our travels we came across this one near Ardlamont on the southern tip of the Cowal peninsula. It’s quiet round here, we drove for about 40 minutes and only met one other car. By the looks of this Lion foundry K6 the last people to have used it may have been involved in what was to become one of Scotland’s greatest murder mysteries.A K6 near Ardlamont on the Cowal peninsula

Not proven

On August 10, 1893 one Cecil Dudley Hambrough was shot dead in a nearby wood, only a stone’s throw from this kiosk. Although his tutor, John Monson, was almost certainly the guilty party, because of a lack of evidence, the verdict at the time was the peculiarly Scottish one of ‘Not Proven’. Neither guilty or innocent. Nevertheless, Madam Taussauds in London placed a waxwork of Monson at the entrance to the Chamber of Horrors. Monson was enraged and after a court case was awarded damages of one farthing (£0.0001).

libel by innuendo

The case of Monson vs Taussauds, however, established the principle of “libel by innuendo” and is still used around the world in defamation cases. Not a lot of people know that! Great what you can learn from scones and telephone boxes!

Scones, Top

The Clyde Tearoom

If you just drive past the ferry terminal at Wemyss Bay going west you immediately come to Skelmorlie. A small but beautiful village that straggles along the Clyde coast towards Largs. Most of the big Victorian houses here were built for Glasgow tobacco barons and all of them have magnificent views across the Clyde towards the Isle of Bute and the Cowal Peninsula.

Reviewing friends

On our way to Rothesay on Bute but were purposely early for the ferry. We had long promised ourselves a visit to friends who run the Clyde tearoom in Skelmorlie. We had been meaning to do it for years. Maybe we hadn’t visited earlier because it’s always tricky reviewing a friend’s scones. What happens if they are rubbish … arrgghh?  Internal view of the Clyde Tearoom, SkelmorlieThe Clyde tearoom is independent from but forms part of the large Strathclyde House retirement home complex and shares some of its facilities. A pretty good symbiotic arrangement. We could have sat outside in the georgeous sunshine and taken in the views across the water. However we decided that the views were good enough from inside. Inside it was. A scone at the Clyde Tearoom, Skelmorlie

Our scones when they arrived were accompanied by loads of jam and cream. We needn’t have worried about them not coming up to scratch. They were excellent, with a lovely texture and just the right amount of fruit … spot on! Coffee was great as well!

New warships

For those who are not too familiar with Skelmorlie and that could be quite a few.It’s not exactly on many people’s destination list. You will though have heard of the famous Skelmorlie Mile! No? It’s a measured nautical mile just off the coast which used to be used by the Royal Navy to gauge the speed of their brand spanking new warships. No longer in use we feel that, with Britain’s current isolationist stance, it may not be long before it is revived. Just think of all the trouble we can cause unfettered by the likes of the EU. We may need as many fast warships as we can muster!

Many thanks to A&M for making us so welcome and making our lives easy by providing such good scones and we were in time for the ferry!

PA17 5AN       tel: 07779 720930       The Clyde Tearoom TA