Monthly Archives: March 2018

Ordinary, Scones

The good ship Forth Belle

What?? Sometimes we go to extraordinary lengths in order to broaden the horizons of our sconey readers. That said, seldom do we have to risk life and limb quite like this. Nevertheless, undaunted, on a fine sunny day in March, we set sail from the Hawes Pier in South Queensferry into the uncharted waters of floating scones. We were aboard the good ship Forth Belle and the name of our trip was “The Blackness Castle, Three Bridges and … wait for it … Cream Tea Cruise”. Okay, now you understand!

Rosyth Dockyard and the Prince of Wales aircraft carrier
Rosyth Dockyard with the partially built Prince of Wales aircraft carrier on the left
The Prince of Wales

We were sailing up river under the old Forth Road Bridge, then the new Queensferry Crossing and before long we were passing the Rosyth Dockyard. Britain doesn’t have any planes to put on the aircraft carrier being built here but now that Putin has been forced to take on the mantle of bogey-man-in-chief we think the money will probably be found. Presumably after we’ve forked out the £300b for weapons of mass destruction like Trident of course. If Putin eventually gets put back in his box and there are to be no planes, the Prince of Wales will probably be put on Gumtree or eBay. Not him, the ship!

The restaurant on the Forth Belle cruise
Help yourself cream tea

 

For our cream tea we had to go below to the galley (hope you are heeding the nautical terminology) where there was a table from which we had to equip ourselves with the various accoutrements for a cream tea. Thankfully there was someone to serve us tea and coffee. Okay okay, we may have over dramatised the life aA scone on the Forth Belle cruisend limb bit somewhat but there were other dangers. Because all the tables had been taken, we had to butter, jam and cream a scone on our knees with a plastic knife while the boat pitched and rolled mercilessly. Okay, that’s over dramatised as well! Maybe it was because of this high sense of adventure, maybe it was because of the chilling wind out here on the open water but our tea and scones tasted delicious.

Submarine U-21

Obviously there was no topscone award, there were certain shortcomings when it came to things like presentation. However, overall we thoroughly enjoyed what we had. Could easily have eaten another one. By this time we were at Blackness Castle which was as far up river as we would go before making the return journey. In a way we were mimicking German submarine U-21 which penetrated this far up the river in 1914 before turning back as well. They probably were not having a cream tea though!

Blackness Castle from the Forth Belle river cruiser
Blackness Castle , centre, looks like a battleship and may have scared off U-boat 21
Useful info

The crew of the good ship Forth Belle gave us all sorts of interesting snippets of information. Did you know, for instance, that the iconic Forth Rail Bridge weighs 100 tons more when it is raining. It also grows in length by 7 meters when it’s hot? No, we didn’t know either. However just think how many people you can bore at dinner parties with this sort of information. Alas, we didn’t see any seals or dolphins but there were plenty of cormorants, eider ducks and the like. The  cruise was great fun, highly recommended. Our trip was the last of the day. It was the only one we could get because all the others were fully booked. What some people will do for a free cream tea!!

The Forth Road Bridges at sunset
Looking west from Hawes Pier
Kiwi scones

Our Kiwi correspondent kindly reported recently that even Ed Sheeran will do anything for a free scone. Ed Sheeran and New Zealand's prime minister Jacinda ArdernApparently New Zealand‘s prime minister, Jacinda Ardern, couldn’t fit any of Ed’s eight NZ concerts into her busy schedule … so she invited him over to her place for a cuppa and a scone. He readily accepted because unbeknown to anyone up until then … he’s a fervent sconey! Why did the BBC not report this? It’s right up there with the usual stuff they like to report.

EH30 9TB               tel: 0131 331 3030              Forth Boat Tours

Ordinary, Scones

Cadell’s Café

Connections are funny things. They happen in the most unexpected ways. For example, what do you think connects the following?

  • the town of Falkirk in central Scotland
  • the Battle of Trafalgar
  • the K4 telephone box
  • the seaside town of Cockenzie, just east of Edinburgh
  • the town of Barga in central Italy.

The answer is Cadells Café of course! Perhaps some sort of explanation would help.

The cannons used by Wellington at the Battle of Trafalgar and the K4 telephone boxes were all made at the Carron Iron Works in Falkirk. In 1759, Carron was founded by one William Cadell whose home was Cockenzie House in which we now sit eating scones in Cadell’s Cafe. The house is situated in the town of Cockenzie which in turn is twinned with the town of Barga …. simple!! Attentive readers will remember we mentioned Barga recently in the post about Brian’s Café. Brian was a member of the Serafini family who originated in Barga. It’s a small world! Internal view of Cadell's Café in Cockenzie

Secret garden

Anyway Cadell’s Café is situated in the ‘secret garden’ of Cockenzie House alongside a grotto decorated with seashells and a ruinous claret tower. We use the word ‘ruinous’ advisedly? However, no such problems in the cafe. It was a bitterly cold day so it was nice to be ushered in and seated beside a lovely log burning stove. What could be better? A scone at Cadell's Café in CockenzieThe scones were nicely presented with a good pot of jam but unfortunately along side was the ubiquitous Rhodda’s Cornish cream. However, you already know that we have nothing against Rhodda’s, we just feel that it would be better to go for local cream. Scotland has loads of it. The scones were nice and crunchy but maybe just a tad too much. In the end there was no topscone but we thoroughly enjoyed our visit and would not hesitate to go back.

Big hip pockets

Returning to the subject of connections, FaceBook’s raison d’etre is connections. Poor old Mark Zuckerberg probably never thought he would be accused of helping rig national elections when he started trying to connect the students on his campus at Harvard University. Mind you he probably never thought that within a few years he would have $70billion in his hip pocket either.

The harbour at Cockenzie
Cockenzie harbour

What seems of even greater interest to us is the role of Cambridge Analytica, the British company that allowed FaceBook’s data to be harvested. It’s a company which donates huge amounts of money to the Conservative party and is run by some of the movers and shakers in the Torys. It’s maybe not only the US election that was rigged? What about the 2014 Scottish independence referendum … oooo!!

EH32 0HY     tel: 01875 819456       Cadell’s Café TA

Ordinary, Scones

Buttercup Cafe

Can’t actually remember the last time we were in North Berwick but it was certainly some years ago. On this visit, if it wasn’t for the fact that we know better, we would say that everyone in town was more than a little devious, Machiavellian even. You know who you are! But that’s another story. Sign for the Buttercup Cafe in North Berwick

North Berwick itself is a lovely little seaside town with lots of art galleries, craft shops, restaurants and cafes. It consists almost entirely of rather grand Victorian houses and is surrounded by golf courses. To top it all off, not content with one beach, North Berwick has two. It was called North Berwick to distinguish it from South Berwick (now Berwick-on-Tweed) which, at one time was in Scotland.

In the 16th century the town was a hotbed of witchcraft. More witches being tried here  than anywhere else. One Agnes Sampson was accused of making a potion which made the seas rough for King James VI and his new wife, Anne of Denmark on their return voyage to Scotland. In 1591 she was tortured until a confession was obtained then burned at the stake. Thankfully there’s not so much of that sort of thing going on these days. At least we did not see anything like that on our visit.Internal view of the Buttercup Cafe in North Berwick

Surf boards

The tiny Buttercup Cafe is in the centre of town and has just a four tables and a serving counter. The predominant decor is surf boards. Now although the waves just a few meters from the door were definitely big enough for surfing the temperature, at a smidgen above freezing, definitely was not … brrrr! A scone at the Buttercup Cafe in North BerwickThe welcome here though was very warm and we were soon kitted out with a fruit and a plain scone and offered a wide range of jams to go with them. They were nicely presented and each scone came with a generous pot of clotted cream. What’s not to like? Nothing as it happens but we eventually decided that, wonderful as they were, the scones were not quite topscones … shame.

What’s happened to Brexit?

Ignorance of medical help take their condition to the next stage vardenafil 20mg tab are the critical male populations deprived of treatment. You do not generic levitra face any relationship issue until your love-lifegoes good. They fail to acknowledge the extent check it out online cialis or gravity of the injury. The Acupuncture is a medical treatment that has practiced for thousands of years in China cialis canadian prices and other countries as well. Isn’t it wonderful how, with no proof whatsoever, Putin has been branded public enemy number one because of the Sergei Skripal affair. We are not taking Putin’s side, far from it, but we do think he has good reason to be more than a little disgruntled at the actions of the West recently.May’s refusal to provide him with a sample of the deadly toxin is impolite if not Machiavellian. In fact, knickers have become so twisted that Brexit has barely got a mention recently. Gosh, who would have thought it!

West beach, North Berwick
Stormy day on west beach, North Berwick

EH39 4HE    tel: 01620 894985     Buttercup Cafe FB

p.s. This K6, constructed in the Lion Foundry, Kirkintilloch was found at the west end of the High Street in North Berwick. It had been converted for use as a cash machine but retained an outside telephone … for very small people??A K6 converted to a cash machine in North Berwick

Ordinary, Scones

Brian’s Café

Yesterday morning we were back at the Hippodrome in Bo’ness to see The Shape Of Water. An unexpectedly enjoyable film. It’s really a love fantasy but it also turns out to be surprisingly topical. The Americans had captured a unique South American water monster with peculiarly human characteristics. Honestly, it’s better than it sounds! Rather than let the US acquire any  advantage by studying the beast and unearthing its secrets the Russians, in the form of KGB agents, plotted to kill it with a lethal injection. Have you heard of any similar stories recently?

It is amusing to see the media in a frenzy wondering where the nerve agents directed against Sergei Skripal and his daughter could have come from. Without ever mentioning the world’s biggest stockpile of such chemical weapons at Porton Down. Only eight miles from Salisbury where Skripal was found. Interior view of Brian's Café in BonessAll fingers seem to be pointing at Vladimir Putin however and probably with good reason.

Have you noticed a rather worrying trend among world leaders recently? Putin, who unexpectedly came to power because Boris Yeltsin hadn’t enough blood in his vodka system, now finds himself drunk on power itself. He has manufactured a situation where he can remain in power indefinitely. Likewise with President Xi of China. Power is a great corrupter and both men now seem to think that they are omnipotent. Meanwhile, back in the USA, President Trump  knows he is omnipotent but, unlike Putin and Xi, hasn’t yet worked out a scam to keep the job for a life. Watch this space. Theresa May on the other hand will be forced to keep her job for life whether she likes it or not simply because it’s such a mess no one else wants it. Interior view of Brian's Café in Boness

Serafini family

Enough of all that. Just across the road from the Hippodrome is the imaginatively named Brian’s Cafe which, would you believe it, is owned by a chap called Brian, surname Curry. Its outward appearance is somewhat uninspiring and we did not have high hopes as we entered. A scone at Brian's Café in BonessThe interior is pleasant enough though and the staff were very friendly and helpful.

We were soon settled down with some tea and sharing a fruit scone. Okay, we sometimes indulge in reckless extravagance! There was no cream and the butter and jam were prepackaged but the scone itself was very good, not quite a topscone but pretty close.  The café has lots of what appeared to be family photographs hanging on the walls. When we asked about them we ended up being introduced to Brian himself. He had been sitting at another table with some friends. He’s a lovely guy who proceeded to take us round and explain his family history. Turns out that he is part of the Serafini family who not only had a cafe in Bo’ness but operated the York Café in Falkirk, a place we know very well.

Serafini family group from Brian's Café in Bo'ness
Serafini family from Barga. Brian’s aunt, Annie Curry, married Nathaniel (2nd from left, back row)

 

 

 

 

Scots locked up

What amazed us was that Brian’s aunt, a Bo’nessian born and bred, had married a Serafini and as a result was interned during WWII. It had never before occurred to us that Scots were also interned simply because of their association with Italians … unbelievable!

The Serafini's original café and their fish and chip van
The Serafini’s original café in Bo’ness  … and their fish and chip van c1950s

It was great listening to the many delightful childhood stories Brian had to tell. A far cry from today’s world of all-powerful autocrats and dastardly subterfuge.

EH51 0AA       tel: 01506 823815       Brian’s Café TA

p.s. News of an even bigger controversy came to us the other day courtesy of our correspondent, the Stenibrainfart. He reported that the National Trust in England had organised a cream tea at one of their venues in Cornwall and to publicise it they used a picture of a scone with a dollop of jam on top of the cream … arrgghh! National Trust picture of a cream tea scone

Now all self respecting sconeys worth their salt know that that is how they do it in Devon … and it’s just plain wrong! It is definitely not how they do it in Cornwall. Cornish folks have reportedly been resigning their NT membership in droves. A #JamFirst badgeThey felt so strongly they even produced #JamFirst badges to support the cause. Well done Cornwall, you tell ’em!

Scones, Uncategorized

The Beast from the East

This is not a proper scone post. It is simply an attempt to reassure all those kind sconeys (particularly those in the southern hemisphere) who have enquired after our well-being in the face of the Beast from the East. Putin’s gift to the west. We are fine, though things in general are pretty bad e.g. pastries from Greggs have been declared legal tender!

The title picture is of our car which hasn’t moved for almost a week. We can hear readers in Canada and Norway screaming “they call that snow”? Okay, okay, don’t mock! Unlike you, when we get snow, we  just wait for it to go away the next day. But this time it has been here for days! Nothing in Britain has moved much in the last week … very few cars on the roads, no trains, no flights. But you know all that!

Let us give you an instance about how Britain is coping. Yesterday, late afternoon, we decided to venture out as far as our local pub just to get out and have a walk if nothing else. We walked along the middle of the road, standing aside every time a car came along … only two passed. There was no one else out, the whole place was eerily quiet. We fully expected the pub to be  deserted, just a few hardy regulars, but no, it was ramjammed, we could hardly get in! We asked the harassed looking barmaid why it was so busy “cos nobody’s at their efing work” was the reply. That’s how Britain copes … just go to the pub!

State of ecstasy

We don’t have any pictures of scones to share but we are sending you this one of a partial scone. It was sent by one of our correspondents who has a home office at the bottom of his garden. His wife had baked some scones and braved the snow and the icy wind to bring some, complete with apricot jam, to her beloved. He thought that he would send us a picture but, in his heightened state of ecstasy, promptly forgot until there was barely anything left.What's left of a scone and apricot jam

Normal service

We can only apologise dear readers, but good competent scone correspondents are difficult to come by these days ..  a bit like politicians. We had to admire Theresa May saying that the EU would have to compromise. Is there a thinly veiled threat in there “if you don’t compromise we won’t leave”? Once again, thanks for all your concern. Hopefully we will be out and about very soon and normal sconology will be resumed.