Monthly Archives: April 2016

Scones, Top

Bill’s at Hammersmith

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This place is bound to be good .. isn’t it! We had passed it many times  getting off the tube at Hammersmith Underground but, in spite of the name, had never ventured inside. It was always the wrong time of day. However, on this occasion, it was bang on scone-o’clock.

He played this all day .. unfortunately only one tune
He played this all day .. unfortunately only one tune

 

Hammersmith is a bustling commercial centre sandwiched between Putney and Chiswick. It is home to a large Polish community but also hosts a myriad of other nationalities .. a great place for people watching. Bill’s is located directly opposite the Lyric Theatre and just round the corner from the Hammersmith Apollo.

Apparently it all started many years ago when Bill Collison opened a tiny greengrocery in Lewes, Sussex selling his own homegrown fruit and veg. Bills 04He eventually converted it into a café. The rest, as they say, is history … cafés and restaurants all over the country, even in Glasgow. Their mission statement is ‘to serve really good food, to make sure every customer has a good time, and go that bit further to make sure Bill’s is always somewhere people want to come back to’. Well, we would see, wouldn’t we!Bills 06

The young lady who looked after us was wonderful and although English was obviously not her first language she soon had us all sorted with our order. She sat us outside basking in the April sunshine, people watching … good start! The scones come as a brace with lots of clotted cream and a selection of Bill’s own jams .. in full sized jam jars! I had the damson and Pat had strawberry but there was marmalade on offer too. At a tad under £5 we thought this was good value. They were excellent, light and fluffy with a slightly crunchy exterior, a very easy topscone award. What with their shop (online as well) full of delightful own brand goodies,

Bill’s was a bit of a revelation, and it probably provides a model template for all such places. Hence it’s success. They certainly seem to understand perfectly what they are doing. We definitely enjoyed ourselves and definitely want to go back. Mission accomplished.Bills 05

Dangerous doctors

If only the same level of understanding could be applied to Jeremy Hunt. Does he  understand anything except dogma? Or is it simply the level of understanding you would expect from a cousin of both the Queen and Oswald Mosely? The government is now so far to the right that it now views junior doctors as dangerous radicals. Thank goodness for an oasis of sanity like Bill’s. With a name like that, of course, what else would you expect?

W8 7AP          tel: 020 87411898         Bill’s Restaurant

Ordinary, Scones

Findlays

Back in at home after our all too brief sojourn up north. The weather has come out in sympathy with our mood, it’s a bleak kind of day. After attending to some business in the town centre we ended up here at Findlays, hoping to have our spirits raised. The rather impressive old Victorian building was built in 1893 as Falkirk’s main Post Office but since then it has undergone a variety of uses leading up to it’s current incarnation as the Falkirk Business Hub, a place which provides a home to over 30 businesses and employs around 150 people. Findlays 03Findlays is the café for the FBH but is open to everyone.

It’s pleasant enough. If it was just providing canteen facilities to the FBH, it would be doing a great job. However it has ambitions and promotes itself as ‘the home of great food and coffee’  .. but it just isn’t. It looks and feels like part of the Hub and lacks that coffee shop vibe. These days we expect wifi everywhere we go. Here the password is helpfully provided on the menu .. but it doesn’t work. The correct password (the one with the capital letter at the start) is on a wall blackboard … annoying. Doubly annoying to have people cleaning windows and going around with feather dusters while you are trying to eat your scone!  Findlays 02So far, so not so good … the mood was not lifting!

Here you might hope that the scones would ride to the rescue with a glowing report and everyone would live happily ever after … but no. It was a case of style over substance. Presentation is a wonderful thing, it delights the eye and heightens expectations. These expectations however have to be fulfilled and sadly this was not the case here. They were disappointingly pasty and heavy. Could the mood get any blacker? Well, yes, just look at the news.

Advice on Brexit

It turns out that Scottish Labour’s PFI scandal has taken a turn for the worse. Not only are our schools and hospitals crumbling, we don’t even know who owns them. The ownership of many being held in overseas tax havens. No one seems too sure who owns British Home Stores either as it descends into receivership. This is the super-duper modern business world we live in! Good though, that Barak Obama managed to stop by to wish the Queen a happy birthday and offer his advice on Brexit. Having advised on the Scottish referendum, he presumable felt he had to do the same for the EU one. Findlays 04Obama is probably the best US President there has been for a long long time. We need not kid ourselves, however, that it is all being done with some sort of ‘special relationship’ benevolence. The US only cares about one thing .. the US!

Looking to the multinationals

Findlays is not doing anything particularly wrong but, based on our visit, it is not doing anything particularly right either. The website is a waste of time. Once again it is a case of taking a long hard look at the multinationals like Costa and Café Nero and figuring out how they always get it so right. We wish them luck. Let’s hope we will be in a better mood by the next post.

FK1 1LL            tel: 01324 614062               Findlays Business Hub

Ordinary, Scones

Café Aroma

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The A9, between Perth and Inverness, is a Marmite kind of road … you either love or hate it. Most people hate it and we are with them. Having only short stretches of dual-carriageway it can be extremely frustrating when you can only go as fast as the slowest thing on the road. On our way north, the road was so busy we barely got above 45mph for most of the way … arrrgghh! On the way south however, because we had to do a drop-off at Inverness airport, we decided to carry on to Nairn then down the A939. It takes you through Granton-on-Spey, Aviemore and Newtonmore.

Slumdog Millionaire

Our scone-stop this time was the Aroma Café in Kingussie. In gaelic, the name ‘Kingussie’, means ‘head of the pine forest’ and its main claims to fame are a) the ruins of the nearby infantry barracks at Ruthven which was destroyed by Bonnie Prince Charlie’s forces in 1746, after Culloden b) Guinness Book of Record’s claim that the Kingussie shinty team is the most successful sKingussie 02aporting team of all time c) the town’s part in the film Slumdog Millionaire. The question was, would the Aroma Café add to this list by getting a much coveted topscone award? Inside, it is a wee bit tired looking and initially we had problems getting any of the staff to notice that we had come in but, once they did, we were looked after very well. Kingussie 04

The scones, when they came, had been warmed to within an inch of their lives … quite hot. Maybe no bad thing in itself, however, too much fruit and a heavy base  meant only one thing. No award ceremonies going on here any time soon. On the plus side they did have a wide range of jams (all pre-packaged) and there was also a tub of clotted cream .. from Cornwall?? It’s difficult to say how the A9 has affected places like the Aroma Café.

We can remember when all traffic came thundering through the High Street. Now it’s much quieter … hardly any cars. On the other hand, hardly any of that thundering traffic ever stopped here. Maybe it doesn’t make that much difference. Whatever, the Aroma will have to up its game if it wants us to stop off here in future. Kingussie 01

Towel throwing?

Now that we are heading south again we are beginning to see election posters for parties other than the SNP. Further north it was glaringly obvious that the lampposts etc only carried SNP posters. We went coast to coast and never saw a single poster for any other party. Very strange, have they thrown in the towel already?

PH21 1HZ    tel: 01540 661020    Cafe Aroma FB

Scones, Top

The Pantry

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Pantry - Cromarty 11Over the years, in all our travels around the UK, particularly around Scotland, we had completely missed the Black Isle. In spite of that evocative name. It is another one of these places that you have to make a conscious decision to go to. Although not an island as the name would suggest, it is a peninsula and in that sense a cul-de-sac. Particularly since the Nigg ferry ceased to operate last year. Obviously, it was high time this glaring omission was rectified but would we be disappointed? Not a bit of it .. it’s a lovely part of the world and one we will have to return to for further exploration.

view along Shore Street
view along Shore Street

 

As is the way with all cul-de-sacs, you eventually come to the end … but what an end! Cromarty is a wee gem, a lovely jumble of wonderful narrow streets and old fisherman’s cottages. Until 1890 the town was the capital of Cromartyshire. An entity we had never heard of until this visit … you live and learn. Living and learning was what Hugh Miller was all about. In 1802 he was born in one of these fisherman’s cottages and later trained as a stonPantry - Cromarty 06emason. He had no academic qualifications but rose to become the leading geologist, thinker and social commentator of his time. He said ‘Life is itself a school and nature always a fresh study’. As you all know, sconology, rather than geology is our thing … but would we be able to further our studies in Cromarty? Pantry - Cromarty 04

There were several coffee shops, which all looked good, but we ended up here in The Pantry. It’s all homemaking and, according to it’s own publicity, has ‘the best meringues in the Highlands‘. With more than a little difficulty, we managed to resist the lure of the large meringues and decided to have their afternoon tea. Very reasonably priced at under £10 .. and featuring a scone and a small meringue. Two birds with one stone, so to speak. Everything was great and, being mergingue novices, for all we know it could have been the best meringue in the Highlands. It was certainly very good. The scone, however, was definitely the best we had tasted in quite a while and we had no problem awarding a topscone. Well done The Pantry.

looking from Cromarty towards Nigg
looking from Cromarty towards Nigg
Missed opportunities

The view is slightly incongruous when you look out from 18th century Cromarty towards the 21st century oil construction yard at Nigg. It stands like a monument to missed opportunities. Scotland being the only country in the world to have discovered over £300bn of oil and got food banks and three bits of dual-carriageway on the A9, in return. You can almost see Hugh Miller spinning.

Because of the negative effect on the Cromarty economy the demise of the Nigg ferry was much lamented by the lovely folk at the Pantry. There are rumours however that it may be reinstated … fingers crossed.

IV11 8XA            tel: 01381 600455              The Pantry Cromarty

Ordinary, Scones

The Ceilidh Place

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We had stopped off in the township of Elphin, in the shadow of Stac Pollaidh, on our way to Ullapool because, after many miles of driving, there was a signpost for a tearoom .. but it was closed.

Elphin market
Elphin market

The local market was open however and the lovely people there recommended  this place when we reached our destination. The Ceilidh Place bills itself as “at the end of the A835 and the centre of the universe”. It probably is for many people because it’s a hotel, bunkhouse, café/bar, music venue and bookshop. Someone once said “I often stay here because it’s the only bookshop I know with rooms”. Ceilidh 04Ullapool is a major destination  for tourists and music lovers, with many festivals throughout the year.

Each September they have the Loopallu Festival (wonder how they came up with that name) which the Guardian said was “the only music event anywhere in the world to feature both Franz Ferdinand and the Ullapool Pipe Band.” As you might imagine there are not too many airs and graces here but everything is good quality, there is a big central log burning stove and they make you very welcome. What more could you want? Ceilidh 800x800You get the feeling that many good nights have been had in here. We had a good lunch then thought we would try the scones. When they arrived they did not look too promising. We have had scones that look like this before and they were decidedly underwhelming. However, looks can be deceptive. They were actually very good, nice light consistency and with plenty butter and jam. No cream unfortunately … pretty close to a topscone award, but not quite … pity. Ceilidh 03

Tax havens

Ullapool and Panama have much in common .. they are both many miles from anywhere and both have infestations of blood sucking parasites, but in Ullapool’s case it’s only midges. The brouhaha about Cameron’s tax affairs is largely irrelevant. The fact that they all knew that tax havens (usually British ones) were being used on an industrial scale, is what matters. From that point of view the Labour party, in the shape of Gordon Brown should also have much to answer for. He devised a tax systems so complex that he was almost the only one who could understand them. Tax havens must have been very familiar. Anyway, besides all that, we notice that ‘Scotland The Best‘ author, Pete Irvine, notes amongst the 2,500 places listed, The Ceilidh Place as one of his favourites .. can’t be bad!Ceilidh 06IV26 2TY       tel: 01854 612103          The Ceilidh Place Ullapool

Scones, topweird

The Oystercatcher Restaurant

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This  fine-dining restaurant, is situated about as far out of the way as you can get .. in Portmahomack. It’s on the tip of Tarbat peninsula in Easter Ross. Question is … is it the best restaurant in the world? Probably not, but it does make you ask the question so it’s pretty special. It is certainly unique. Oystercatcher 03

We were fortunate to be here for the first night of the season and we had been looking forward to it with much anticipation. Oystercatcher 07There is no doubt that this is fine dining .. fabulous menu specialising in seafood and almost a thousand different wines along with hundreds of whiskies and liqueurs to choose from .. and correspondingly expensive. It may only be three courses but, they provide extra palate ticklers between each dish. One was cullen skink, another was haggis neeps and tatties, another was peach sorbet topped with crowdie. All taster sized portions but fabulous. But places like this don’t do scones .. do they? No they don’t. Our excuse for writing this is pretty thin, embarrassingly thin.

The most clouds we saw in Portmahomack
The most clouds we saw in Portmahomack

 

Yes, I had the ‘seared scallop of scone’ .. because I like scallops and I like scones. So the dish was king scallops, black pudding; bacon & coral scone; airbag; garlic-sauteed samphire; partan sauce. I didn’t even get a picture of the scone because it was buried underneath everything else. Suffice to say it was delicious. Don’t ask what the airbag was, we have no idea but it wasn’t a safety device. Obviously this could not be classed as a topscone. We do have a weird scone category however so we placed it there .. top weird scone!

Fantastic

I can show you a picture of my pudding though. That’s good Talisker you can see burning away there. Susan, the owner/waitress, looked after us superbly well but don’t expect any of the us

Café Surprise o' the Cuillins
Café Surprise o’ the Cuillins

ual deference you normally get in fine-dining restaurants. No standing on ceremony here, just great friendly service. All in all it was a fantastic experience, hats off to Susan for making The Oystercatcher work in rural Easter Ross. Nothing short of amazing!

Port at 'the Port'
Port at ‘the Port’
Who owns Scotland?

Was it a better than Bruce’s Café at the Carnegie Hall, just round the corner? That would be like comparing apples and pears. Completely different but both wonderful. While Susan and Bruce work their socks off we don’t suppose either of their businesses will feature in the Panama Papers. It is disturbing to learn that ownership of great swathes of Scotland are simply registered to PO boxes in Panama. Also, if you have ever wondered why people in oil rich countries like Nigeria are still poor it is because the country’s wealth is squirrelled away in Panama. Most of it administered through the UK by RBS and HBSC.  What is being displayed in the Panama Papers is that the system is global .. and rotten. Maybe we already knew that? Nothing rotten at the Oystercatcher .. expensive but worth it.

IV20 1YB         tel: 01862 871560        The Oystercatcher

Ordinary, Scones

Dornoch Castle Hotel

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Where would you go when there is barely a cloud in the sky and you fancy a walk on a beach? Dornoch, obviously. There is also a link between this post and the previous post for the Cafe at the Carnegie Hall in Portmahomack because just up the road from Dornoch is Skibo Castle. It was once the home of philanthropist, Andrew Carnegie. Dornoch itself is famous for many things. The last witch in Scotland was burned here in 1727. The golf course is judged to be the 5th best outside the US. The thirteenth-century Cathedral and Pat’s first holiday destination when she was at school. Most famously of all, of course, Madonna had her son, Rocco, christened in the Cathedral before her marriage at Skibo!!

Buckets and spades
the beach at Dornoch
the beach at Dornoch

Having little  requirement for burning, golfing or christening, we headed for the beach .. and what a beach! Miles of beautiful sand stretching as far as you could see. Needless to say, in early April, it’s not quite warm enough for lazing around on. We had also forgotten our buckets and spades. It wasn’t too long before we thought that a scone wouldn’t go amiss. We knew that there were good scones at Gordon House because we reviewed them last year. In the interests of continuing research however, we thought we should try somewhere different. So here we are at Dornoch Castle Hotel, just across the road from the Cathedral. Dornoch 03

Originally built as the Bishop’s Palace, it has been here quite a while and certainly retains some of its old-world charm. Eight foot thick stone walls and a big welcoming log fire. The hotel is a slightly odd mixture of old and new. The bar area, where we were, being quite characterful but the dining room at the rear of the hotel is very modern and seems strangely out of keeping. Dornoch 05Never mind that though what about the scone testing. Well, once again the scones were okay, but nothing to write home about. So what exactly are we doing writing about them .. answers on a postcard? They were nicely presented with jam and a pot of whipped cream but the scones themselves were definitely not topscone material, though enjoyable enough.

End of an era

We had an Englishman with us so we had to post a photo of his effort at preparing a scone. These days we are nervous about not giving glowing reviews because, in the past week, we were given the devastating news that McEwens of Perth had suddenly closed down. Some disingenuous folk have suggesting that it was because we did not rate their scones highly enough. Joking aside this really is bad news because McEwens w

Oh dear, cream first??
Oh dear, cream first??

as one of our favourite shops. Family run, a bit quirky, a bit old fashioned, a bit of an institution. It’s passing is very sad, it will be sorely missed, especially by the 130 people who worked there. For Perthshire, it is the equivalent of Tata Steel closing down in Port Talbot but we don’t think there will be any similar governmental attempts at a rescue package. End of an era.

So, although Dornoch Castle Hotel did not get a topscone award either we really hope, in spite of that, it continues to prosper for many years to come.

excellent whisky display
excellent whisky display

IV25 3SD         tel: 01862 810216        Dornoch Castle Hotel

Scones

The Café at the Carnegie Hall

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Okay, okay, it’s not the Carnegie Hall. Please believe us however when we tell you that, if you are one of the 350 souls who live in lovely Portmahomack, this is definitely the Carnegie Hall. The Cafe at the Carnegie Hall is pretty much the centre of the universe.

Salsa Drumming in Portmahomack
Salsa drumming in Portmahomack
It all happens here

Very much a community hall, run largely by volunteers, you can book it for just about anything; birthdays, weddings, tai chi, yoga, salsa drumming .. what? When we arrived the local Salsa Drumming Band were in full flight with a practice session for an event the following day. The Budapest Café Orchestra will be performing here soon. It all happens in Portmahomack! Carnegie 05At the café, Bruce Edwards, chef extraordinaire and general superhero, reigns supreme and will happily rustle you up a tasty meal .. the emphasis being on ‘happily’. A nicer, more friendly person you could not hope to meet.  He is hoping to retire as soon as another franchisee can be found. If you are looking for a business opportunity in this beautiful part of the world, this could be it .. contact details below. Carnegie 800x800Amongst other things of course we had to have a scone, made that morning by Bruce’s own fair hand. Although not a topscone it was very good. We thoroughly enjoyed it, as we did everything about this place. Nothing fancy, just good honest fare and warm friendly folk. We were staying in Portmahomack for a few days and enjoyed wall to wall sunshine every day.

Rush hour in Portmahomak
Rush hour in Portmahomak
No news

Because we were preoccupied walking on beaches and eating scones news gathering was not high on our list of priorities. Wifi is pretty flaky here as well. Very quickly, we were completely out of the usual swirl of current affairs. Just what you need for a relaxing wee break. So you can probably imagine our surprise, on our return, to find that rich people have been avoiding paying tax. Absolute shocker … who would have thought? As always the rules don’t seem to apply if you have lots of money but at least, thanks to the Panama papers, we get some idea of who they are. No surprises here either but you have got to hand it to the Icelanders who seem to know how to handle bankers and tax dodgers.

All this must be particularly galling though for the folks in this wee village where the local restauranteur has to have a special licence just to walk across the street, to the harbour, to buy a lobster from Jimmy, one of the local fisherman. Plenty rules up here .. and they are applied!

Sunset over the harbour
Sunset over the harbour

Even superheros need a day off so please note that the café is closed on Wednesdays and Thursdays but otherwise open 11-4pm. No cards either so take cash … you won’t need very much.

IV20 1YD     tel: 01862 871798      Cafe at Carnegie TripA